


You Saved Me

by MaresThird



Series: You Saved Me [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, USWNT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-11-06 05:56:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 36
Words: 175,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11030049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaresThird/pseuds/MaresThird
Summary: Tobin is the victim of a vicious attack which leaves her soccer career in question. With the help of her family and teammates can she battle back and overcome her physical and mental injuries?





	1. Are You Awake, Baby?

**Author's Note:**

> So, listen, not every detail of staff names will be correct. I'm more interested in the story than trying to track down staff names on the Thorns and USWNT. There could be some triggers in here regarding violence, rape, anxiety, etc. Read at your own risk.

As the soft harp tone of her alarm chimed, Tobin rolled onto to her back. She reached and gently shut off the alarm. She rarely hit the snooze button in the mornings. As she laid there, she thought about her day. Her back was feeling good, she was ramping up the intensity of her trainings and having very little, if any, discomfort. She was anxious to get back out on the pitch. She shrugged off of her comforter and made her way to the bathroom to start her day. 

After doing her morning stretches, a weird variation of yoga and actual stretching, she made a quick breakfast, got dressed and ready to go. Allison, a trainer from the Thorns, would be picking her up shortly for a doctor’s appointment and, hopefully, her last MRI on her lower back. She was hoping things would go well today and they would actually set a timeline for her return to playing. 

Her past few weeks have been spent in a rotation of therapy and laying around. She’s been bored out of her mind most days. Cabin fever is what Allie called it. When her back flared up a few weeks ago, Tobin was near tears. She was so upset that this injury was more serious than anyone originally thought. 

She talked to Kling about how got through her back issues and the emphatic reply of taking it easy and relaxing did nothing for her mood. She became a little edgy, sometimes just taking a pain pill so she could sleep it off and have a better tomorrow. It only took a week if her doing that to have Allie and Kling threatening her about telling coach. 

When Alex called her from Orlando concerned and asking if she needed to find a therapist for Tobin to visit, she knew she had to get herself back in control.

That night, she brought her pain pills up to Kling and asked her and Brittani to hold onto to them for her. The two girls were very understanding, they had both been there before. Kling gave Tobin a cool ice pack that formed to her back and told her ice it down four times a day and stretch it out good. 

The very next week progress was seen and Tobin was working her way back to the normalcy of her life. Get up in the morning, go train, eat, nap, go back and train, or in her case, get therapy, go home, eat dinner, veg out for a bit and go to sleep. Rinse and repeat. 

Staying back in Portland for the away games had sucked, but her routine never wavered and Allison a few other trainers were good company. Occasionally they would all go to lunch or check out a movie in the evenings. 

Her and Christen had ended their relationship over nine months ago. They remained good friends but the distance and hectic schedules just wasn’t working out. They fought more and more over who would fly where and then invasive fans would go crazy on social media. 

The social media part and public PDA was what really got Christen going, Tobin thought. So they were careful and coy and tried to keep a low profile but eventually, it became too much. 

They loved each other very much, but they both knew that things had run their course. Breaking up was very difficult and they were extremely careful in how they went about it. Tobin was really happy they remained on good terms and still talk regularly. 

On the flip side of that, Tobin was getting a little lonely. With her back injury, she hadn’t really left her place for the last seven weeks. She’d catch a few dinners here and there with the team but her social life wasn’t as nearly active as it had been in the past. She wasn’t one for hook ups on the regular, she had to be careful about it. But, some nights, there was only so much PornHub could do for a girl. 

She thanked God every day for the amazing life she had. Playing professional soccer, being on the USWNT, traveling the world representing her country. Was wasn’t very comfortable with the idea of being a celebrity of sorts, but she was always gracious with fans during those interactions.

People made her nervous sometimes. Strangers coming up to her, asking for photos and autographs. She wasn’t used to it and doubted she ever would be. Some of the fans could be a bit over the top and borderline stalking. It creeped Tobin out, not knowing if their intentions were innocent or not. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a text from Allison stating she was parked in front of her building. Thorns medical policy was that staff attended all doctor appointments. Tobin really didn’t mind, Allison was nice, she had a good sense of humor and always had a smile for Tobin. 

Replying that she was on her way, Tobin grabbed her wallet and keys and made her way down to meet her. 

“Good morning Tobin!” Allison smiles as Tobin slid into the passenger seat. 

“Hey, you too. How’s it going?” Tobin replies. 

“Pretty good. Wanna get some coffee after your test?” 

“Sounds good,” Tobin smiles. “You pick the place this time.” 

Allison nods. “Oh, I almost forgot! Dr. Laurence told me you need to take these before your MRI.” She hands Tobin two capsules and a bottle of water. 

“They’re muscle relaxers so you’re comfortable during it. He said this MRI will be a bit longer because they want to get some different views and look at your hips for alignment.” Allison explains. 

“Ah, I see.” Tobin nods, popping a pill in her mouth and drinking some water to swallow it down. She repeats the process as Allison pulls out from the parking lot and makes their way to the doctor’s office. 

As they chit chat about anything and nothing at all, Tobin realizes she is feeling drowsy. 

“Tobin? Are you alright?” Allison asks with concern. 

“No, I feel really sleepy. “Tobin shakes her head to clear the cobwebs. “Like, super sleepy.” 

“Just relax, we’re almost there.” Allison advises. 

Tobin leans her head back and blackness descends on her. 

******

Tobin awakes to the oddest sensations. Her mouth is dry, her head is pounding with a headache and she is cold and confused. She feels as if something is covering her head and she can’t see. She squirms a bit and realizes she couldn’t move much. 

“Are you awake, baby?” a voice asks. 

“Allison?” Tobin croaks. Her voice is rough. “What’s going on?” 

She feels hands on her thighs, massaging her quads. Her bare quads. 

“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up. You were really out.” Hands are moving up Tobin’s body, on her torso, fingertips trailing her abdominals.

Suddenly, whatever that was covering her face was lifted. 

Tobin squints as she takes in her surroundings. She is flat on her back, her arms stretched above her to a headboard, her legs spread across a padded table. Naked as the day she was born. She struggles to move but was secured in this positioned. 

“Allison? What’s going on?” she repeats. “What’s happening?” 

“Tobin, my dear, sweet Tobin.” Allison whispers in Tobin’s ear. She begins to massage Tobin’s breasts.

“Look what I made you!” she giggles and motions Tobin to look around. 

As Allison continues kissing and sucking on Tobin’s neck, Tobin scans the room. She is completely naked, in a home, maybe a dining room with the windows were covered. She has no conception of time. The walls are covered with photos. Photos of herself. 

Playing soccer. At team events. Photos of her as a child. In the training room for treatment. On airplanes, buses, in a team van. In the locker room. In the shower. In her apartment.  
Tobin’s mouth drops open at the sight of the hundreds of photos. Outdoor cafes with friends, at a local park. A bar.

One section is devoted to photos of Allison and Tobin together. Quite a few looked poorly photoshopped. 

Panic. Pure, unadulterated panic washes across Tobin. She fights against her restraints. Looking up she sees that were wrists in are secured by a leather cuff with a strap mounted to the headboard. 

“Allison, please, I don’t understand, please let me go!” Tobin shouts.

Allison leans forward and looks into Tobin’s eyes. 

“Oh, Tobin, I’m gonna make you moan my name in ecstasy” she murmurs roughly cupping Tobin’s breasts. Then she harshly pinches her nipples, making Tobin wince.  
“And scream in agony.”


	2. Shall We Begin?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin begins to realize how twisted Allison is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning- things get heavy is this chapter. Read at your own risk.

She’s crying. Full on sobbing. She can’t catch her breath. She’s fighting futility against restraints. 

“Al- Allison, stop!” she cries. “Please!”

Allison just continues to make her way to Tobin’s neck, giving soft kisses. 

“Allison! What the fuck! STOP!” Tobin shouts.   
Allison is again, massaging Tobin’s breasts. She looks up at her and smiles. “Oh, baby, what’s wrong?” she asks. “Don’t you want this?” 

“NO!” Tobin yells. “What the fuck is wrong with you? NO!” 

That did it. Something shifts in Allison’s eyes. 

“Okay, Tobin,” she sighs, clearly annoyed. “I wanted the first time to be special, but I can see you’re not gonna cooperate.” 

Allison slides off the table and grabs a piece of fabric from the floor. She drapes the fabric over Tobin’s eyes. Instant blackness envelops Tobin’s vision. This was worse. This was way worse. She violently shakes her head to get it off. It won’t come off. She can’t see anything and hears Allison moving around the room. 

She hears a noise that she can’t quite recognize and suddenly she feels hands on her cheeks pressing down. Now she knows what the noise was. A piece of duct tape being ripped and now is firmly pressed against her mouth. 

The fabric comes off her eyes. Allison is smiling down at her as she gets back on the table and lays her body flat against Tobin’s. 

“I wanna show you how much I love you.” She whispers as she kisses Tobin’s check. Her hands are moving down Tobin’s body. 

Tobin begins to cry as Allison slowly begins to finger her and wince as she feels fingers roughly entering her. 

She doesn’t know how long it goes on, she tries to fight the feelings. She doesn’t want to give Allison any satisfaction of getting her off. Mentally she tries to think of anything to keep her mind off of what is going on. 

Suddenly she thinks of all the warnings from friends and family when she traveled off to faraway lands on her adventures. Be safe, they said. Know who you’re staying with. Don’t be so trusting. Now, she realizes, the very thing they were warning about is happening to her and her attacker is someone she knows. Knows pretty well and trusted. 

Her thoughts are interrupted as her body begins to betray her. She soon feels that familiar feeling of her feet going numb and her legs are shaking as her climax builds. 

“Come for me, baby.” Allison purrs. Tobin shakes her head and screams “No!” from behind the tape.

Tobin can’t deny the feelings, her body is being over stimulated and she arches her back, groaning loudly. Her neck pulls her head forward as she sees Allison furiously working her fingers in and out of her and when she dips her head down and bring her tongue to Tobin’s clit, Tobin loses all control. 

She lays there, trying to catch her breath. Aftershocks pulsing through her body. Allison is now laying on her with one of her hands in Tobin’s hair, stroking it gently.   
Tobin is dumbstruck. Emotions all over the place. She feels so violated. Betrayed. By Allison. By her own body. 

She begins crying quietly. 

Her eyes are shut and she just wants to be anywhere than where’s she’s at right now. If she could take back her day and start it all over she would. How did this happen. She never had a single clue that Allison was harboring any of these feelings. 

She’s brought out of her thoughts by the tape being peeled from her mouth. 

“You taste amazing, baby.” Allison whispers as kisses Tobin’s lips. 

“Please, Allison, please let me go. I won’t tell anyone. We can pretend it never happened.” Tobin pleads. “Please, I’ll do anything…” Tobin cries. 

Allison stares at her with an amused look. “Anything, eh, Heath?” she questions. 

Tobin nods quickly. 

Allison’s eyes darken. She slowly moves from straddling Tobin’s hips to her chest. 

She looks down at Tobin. “Eat me out until I come.” She husks. 

Tobin gulps and nods as she feels Allison shift her position. It’s dark and Allison is wet and Tobin begins to tentatively swipe her tongue across her folds. Allison forces herself lower and Tobin continues. She can’t hear anything with Allison’s thighs against her head and soon it’s hot and sweaty and she thinks this will never end but she pushes on. 

Suddenly Allison arches back and settles over Tobin’s head. Tobin panics as she feels so claustrophobic in this tight space. She’s only done this a few times before. She gasping for breath and struggling to move her head. She’s starting to feel dizzy and her breathing is erratic. Just as she feels that she’s going to pass out, Tobin feels Allison shifting and moving from her. 

Allison lays herself down along Tobin’s side, softly massaging Tobin’s left breast as her head rests against Tobin’s shoulder. “Baby, that was so good.” She whispers. “It was everything I ever imagined.”

Time passes and Tobin thinks they both fell asleep for awhile. Allison slowly stirs and lazily looks at Tobin. 

“Tobin?” she asks. Tobin turns her head to face her. 

“You didn’t really think I’d let you go, did you?” she smiles sweetly. “You must be a dumb jock!” she laughs. 

“Now, for your next surprise.” Allison whispers as she moves from the table and walks to a desk. 

She’s slightly out of Tobin’s view and Tobin has no clue what she’s doing until she sees her come back carrying some very familiar looking wires and leads. 

“You remember the E-Stim unit, right?” Allison says brightly. “You know how this works.” 

“No, no, no, no…” Tobin chants. She knows right where this is going. This is going to be very painful. This is unreal. Is this really happening? 

Allison attaches the gel pads to the arches of Tobin’s feet. Then calves, quads, her abdominals and finally her glutes. “You know, prolonged exposure to electrical stimulation can have some very damaging effects.” Allison says as she continues to hook the leads up to her machine. “Some people can never walk again. Some say the pain makes people go crazy. There’s cellular damage that can cause necropsy of the muscles. Burns from the pads and muscle soreness should be the least of your worries.” 

Allison moves back to the table on the right side of Tobin. She flicks on three switches and smiles at Tobin. 

“Shall we begin?”


	3. Our Time Together Is Coming To A Close

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All aboard the pain train. Track number 3.   
> It's dark and violent. Please read at your own risk.

Tobin has never felt this much pain. Intense pain. Her legs are screaming. She is screaming. She doesn’t recognize her voice anymore. It’s animalistic. Rough and raw. She’s cried out. No tears will come. 

She’s vomited at least once. She’s peed. She’s shit herself. Allison just laughed and cleaned her up. In between the “sessions” as Allison called them, she’s been violently raped. A session. Then rape.

She’s exhausted. She can’t think straight. She knows she’s dehydrated. She begged for water hours ago. After eating Allison out again, Allison poured a cup of water down her throat. She thought she was going to drown. It didn’t help her thirst. 

Her head is pounding. Her legs are useless. They tingle and burn at the same time. They twitch during the sessions as Tobin screams from the pain of her muscles contracting violently. 

At some point, Allison changed the settings from every fifteen minutes to a sporadic time period. Then Allison slept. 

Tobin couldn’t sleep. She prays. She tries to find strength in God’s Word. But she is so tired and confused, she can barely remember any verses. She asks Jesus to hold her. She begs for relief, even if it meant death. She can’t take it any longer. She tears up again as she thinks of her family. Mom. Dad. Her sisters and brother. Her nephew. She shuts it from her mind. 

Then she smells bacon. She turns her head and sees Allison standing to her side munching on a piece of bacon. 

“Good morning!” Allison smiles. “I thought I’d let you sleep in a little. Last night was pretty amazing.” 

Tobin opens her mouth to speak but no words form. How truly sick Allison is has hit her like a truck. 

“I’m sorry I made you bleed. I guess I got a little too excited fucking you.” Allison says a little shyly. 

Tobin felt she had been ripped open when Allison started fucking her with a larger strapless dildo at some point during the night. She felt herself tearing open. It didn’t really hurt, but she felt the odd sensation of suddenly being able to take the large dildo. 

She closed her eyes, willing herself from this situation. They snap open when she hears Allison. 

“Well, I guess our time together is coming to a close.” 

*****

It’s Wednesday night and Mark Parsons is in a conference room viewing last week’s tape of the Courage game. Tomorrow at their meeting he would reinforce the weaknesses he sees and complete the game plan. A knock at the door interrupts his thoughts.

“Hey, Mark.” says Doug, their head athletic trainer. 

“What’s up Doug? “ Mark asks as Doug moves into to the room. Then he sees John, their head of security. “What’s up John?” 

The two men look at each other. Doug sighs. 

“Tobin Heath and Allison Spagnolli are missing.” John says. 

Mark’s eyebrows shoot to the sky. “What? How?” 

“They missed the doctor appointment and MRI.” John says. “Tobin’s mother called Allie Long this afternoon asking if she had heard from her. When Allie said she hadn’t, Cindy called over to Grace at Providence Park.” 

“Grace checked with all the remaining staff, tried to get a hold of both girls with no luck.” Doug says.

“They chalked it up to Tobin blowing off some steam and heading to the woods to camp or something, but her Mom is really persistent. So I contacted PPB and had them check it out.” 

“So, what’s happening?” Mark asks. 

“They’re going over stoplight cameras from Tobin’s apartment to wherever they went. I haven’t heard back from them in a while. They asked me to ask the team when exactly was the last time anyone heard from Tobin or Allison.” 

“Well, assemble to fucking team! Let’s get on this!” Marks replies getting up from the table. 

Texts are sent to the team and they begin straggling into the conference room. It only takes a few minutes for everyone to assemble, which makes Mark wonder what exactly did the message say to get them all here so quickly.

“Look,” Mark says. “I’m not going to beat around the bush. Tobin and Allison are missing since yesterday morning. Have any of you heard from them since then?” 

A shocked silence fills the room. Players are shaking their heads. Most eyes turn to Allie Long. 

“I haven’t heard from her since Monday night. We talked for a while then.” Allie says quietly. 

“Okay, so the Portland Police are investigating. From here on out, if any of you hear from either one of them, let me know immediately.” John says. “We want to keep this a little quiet for now, so as not to cause a panic. So let’s not talk about this to anyone just yet.” 

“Uh, John,” Kling says holding up her phone. “I think it’s too late for that. It’s the headline on Oregon Live.” 

“Okay,” John shakes his head. “ No comments from anyone to the media. Be careful who you are talking to about this. Don’t talk in public- we don’t want the fans to be adding anything more to this.” 

“Do you think they were kidnapped or something?” Emily Sonnet asks. 

John runs his hand through his hair. “I don’t know.” 

“Well, something happened.” Allie says. “It’s completely out of Tobin’s character to not check in with people. Even though we are here and she’s in Portland, she would call to see how it’s going.” 

“Listen, her Mom is flying in to Portland tonight so the Police can search Tobin’s place and see if there are any clues. They’re tracking both of the girls’ cell phones. Credit cards. They’re looking at traffic cameras. As soon as we know something, we’ll let you all know.” John states. “Also, because we don’t know exactly what this is, we’re going on lockdown. We’ll have a closed practice. No fans. No media. Even for coffee. No leaving the hotel. I’ll have someone get your Starbucks order in the morning and get them to you all. I’m not joking about this. We don’t know if someone is targeting our team here as well. Be aware of your surroundings.”

After a minute of silence, Mark clears his throat. 

“Alright, I’m sorry to pull you all out of your beds, but you really do need your rest.” Mark says. “Let’s delay breakfast until 9:00 and push back practice until 11:00.”

As the players file out of the room, Mark can hear Allie breaking into sobs. Sinc is holding her as they slowly walk out with more players surrounding them and murmuring comforting words. 

“Oh, Christ.” He mumbles. “What the fuck do we do now?” he looks to John and Doug. 

“All we can do is wait for Portland to get back to us.” John states. 

Mark knows it’s going to be a long night.


	4. Your Homeboy Jesus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin is a wreck. She's doesn't have hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty explicit here. Dark. Cruel. Allison is twisted as fuck.  
> Read at your own risk.

“So, we made the news!” Allison says with a smile. “We’re famous!” 

Tobin slowly cranes her neck to see a flatscreen TV mounted on the wall to her left. Her picture is on it with a banner that says Missing. A small feeling of hope begins to enter her. Maybe this will work out. 

“Nobody is going to find us, Tobin. Not before I’m done with you.” Allison states. “I’m not that stupid.” 

Tobin looks up, trying to read Allison’s face. A moment later in their stare down, the E-stim goes off sending excruciating pain through Tobin’s body. She screams from the pain and intensity. It seems like it is lasting longer than before. Her breathing is ragged as she tries to get oxygen into her lungs. Tears form in her eyes. Her stomach is clenching from the electricity racing through her muscles. 

Then it’s over. She’s panting. Her body feels aflame. That feeling of hope is long gone. 

“I might have turned it up a notch this morning.” Allison grins. “It’s a pretty good workout, no?”

“I had an idea last night, I think you’ll really like it!” she exclaims as she moves across the room to the table on Tobin’s left. Tobin doesn’t even track her with her eyes. She’s too exhausted. Nothing matters anymore. 

Tobin can’t even react when she sees Allison holding a long leather belt. 

“I want to make you pretty for your team.” Allison says as she dangles the belt from her hand. 

Tobin closes her eyes. Willing this to be over. It’s quiet. She concentrates on her breathing and tries to remember any type of yoga technique that can calm herself down. 

Whap! 

The belt makes contact with Tobin’s stomach. 

“Fuck!” Tobin screams. 

Whap! 

Tobin struggles against her restraints. Screams echo in the room. 

Whap! 

Her breath leaves her body. Her mouth open but no scream comes. The pain is unimaginable. Worse than anything yet she thinks. 

Whap! 

Is this what Jesus felt? Oh, God, this is horrible, she thinks. 

Thwap! 

Tobin is crying, screaming, moaning, she doesn’t know what she is doing. The pain. The pain. It’s so intense. 

Thwap! 

She feels something splatter on her face. The belt is bloody.

“There it is!” Allison exclaims. “I wondered how many strikes it would take to make you bleed.” 

Thwap! 

“Kinda like how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie pop!” Allison laughs. 

Thwap! 

Allison stands back to examine her work. She nods her head approvingly and throws the belts into a corner of the room. 

Tobin is shaking uncontrollably. She feels like a huge light is flashing in her brain that says PAIN. Pain comes with every breath. Everything is hot. She thinks she’s burning up. She is focused on the ceiling. Gasping for breath. She hears a strange noise and realizes it’s herself moaning. 

Allison leans down on the table next to Tobin’s head. She grabs Tobin’s chin to make face her. 

“Looks pretty good.” She says. “Were you thinking of your homeboy Jesus? Should I make you a crown of thorns?” she laughs. 

“That would be pretty fucking poetic, huh? Thorns!” she laughs. 

She is still laughing as she climbs back onto the table and kneels on Tobin’s shoulders. 

“So I want to take your contacts out.” She says. “Will you behave or do I have to hurt you?” 

Tobin struggles to speak. “B-b-be-have.” She sputters out. 

Allison leans down and removes the contacts, tossing them onto the floor. 

“I don’t know why I did that,” she murmurs to herself. “Because I’m just going to hurt you more.” 

“Pl- please…” Tobin breathes out. 

“Do you know, I’ve never punched someone, ever, until I met you?” Allison grins at Tobin. “You brought this out of me. I was fine until I met you. Something clicked. Or snapped. I don’t know.” 

She twists Tobin’s neck so she’s facing to her right, check flat on the table. 

“Don’t move and close your eyes.” Allison instructs. Tobin obeys. 

A flash of pain and seeing actual stars, Tobin realizes that Allison just punched her in the face. Right around her left eye to be exact. It hurts. She flutters her eyes open and notices that the left eye is already swollen. 

“That’ll look good.” Allison says appreciatively. 

“So!” Allison exclaims as she leans back on Tobin’s chest. “Do you want to know the rest of the plan?” 

“Fuck you.” Tobin mumbles. 

“Ha! Such a good fucking Christian you are!” Allison sneers. Venom in her voice. “A fucking dyke. A piss poor role model. A fucking baby with a little back injury, pouting all over the place. Do you know I faked your treatment so you wouldn’t get better as quickly as you could?” 

“Everybody treating you like you’re some fucking princess!” She shouts. “You’re nothing. You’re a wreck. You’re can’t even keep a girlfriend. What the fuck is wrong with you!” 

Tobin keeps her eyes screwed shut and tries to block out Allison’s screams. 

“Thought you were too good for me, huh? Well, who’s laughing now you stupid jock.” She laughs. 

“The only thing you’re good for is a fuck.” She rants. “And nobody will want to fuck you now!” 

Smack! A second blow strikes Tobin’s face, nearly in the same spot as the first. The pressure in her head increases. The headache is back with a vengeance. She’s in too much pain. She knows more pain is coming. She’s done. She just wants it over. She can’t stop crying even though there’s no tears. She’s at the breaking point. 

“Aw!” Allison says and she slides off Tobin. “Is little Tobin upset? Did I hit too close to the truth? I hurt your superstar feelings?” she laughs as she walks out of Tobin’s sight line. 

Exhaustion overcomes Tobin and she feels herself slipping into an inky blackness. 

Ice cold water splashes down on Tobin’s face forcing her from her unconsciousness. 

“I just texted Allie. She thought I was you!” Allison giggled. “You’ll see her in a few minutes. They just wrapped up their Thursday session.” 

Thursday? Tobin’s mind reels. I’ve been here since Tuesday morning? She wonders. 

Allison is moving around the room laying items on the table out of Tobin’s sight. She doesn’t know how much time has passed until her phone is stuck in front of her face. 

“A-a-Al-Allie?” Tobin croaks in a voice that is foreign. It’s raw, rough and raspy.


	5. I Think It's Time To Say Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty gruesome chapter. Tobin says goodbye to Allie. Allison is so fucked up. You get to meet Kate the cop. Kate is about to have a very bad day.   
> Read at your own risk.

Mark was making his closing remarks after lunch when Allie shot out of her chair. 

“Tobin just texted me!” she exclaims. “She said she’s gonna Facetime in five minutes!” 

“Someone tell John to call his Portland contact.” Marks orders. “Maybe they can get a location on her phone.” 

“Hook up your phone to the projector, Allie.” Kling insists. 

Allie looks to Mark who nods his head affirmatively. 

She makes her way to the projector, grabs the cord and plugs it in. 

The room is silent as they wait. 

*******

Sergeant Kate Doyle of the Fairview Police Department is leaning against her cruiser while she chats with five teenage boys. 

“So, ya know,” she says as she sips her coffee. “The old man thinks you’re wrecking his pavement with your skateboards.” 

Replies of “Aw, man.” “Geez!” and “Come on!” come back to her from the boys. 

“Listen, I know those steps off the dock are awesome and so is that rail by the stairs.” Kate reasons. “But, the thing is, you’re on his property and he’s not digging it.” 

“Well, where are we supposed to skate?” the youngest one asks. 

“Have you checked out Patterson Park lately?” Kate asks. 

“No,” another boy replies as he balances on his board. “That place is lame. Just swings.” 

Kate’s eyes light up and her eyebrows raise. “You didn’t hear?” she asks. 

“What?” the blond hair boy with a red shirt asks.

“They just finished putting in a skatepark.” 

“You’re shitting me!” the youngest one exclaims. 

Kate eyes him over the lenses of her sunglasses. 

“Sorry.” He mutters. 

“To answer your question, I shit you not.” She smirks. 

“Really? When?” 

“Two days ago they put in the last rail.” Kate states. “It looks pretty sweet. If I was younger, I might try it myself.” 

The boys laugh. “Yeah, right!” red shirt mutters. 

“Totally!” Kate grins. “I longboarded everywhere when I was in college. The only reason I didn’t get into stunts was because my coach would kill me if I got hurt!” 

“Way?” asks the dark haired boy who’s been silent until now. 

“Yes way, Jimmy.” Kate answers. “Hey, how’s your brother doing? I haven’t seen him lately.” 

“He’s doing alright.” Jimmy replies. “He’s trying to get ready for the games. He’s been so focused on running he hasn’t gone to any other practices. ” 

“You coming?” she asks. 

“Totally!” Jimmy exclaims. “So are these guys!” 

“That’s awesome!” Kate high fives red shirt. “You guys should have a blast.” 

“Oh, we’re not just going, we’re working the events.” Red shirt replies. “We’ll be real Special Olympics Judges!”

“Cool, I’ll see you there.” The local chapter of the Special Olympics that Kate volunteers with is having their Spring Games this weekend. She moves off her car and opens the driver’s side door. “Please check out the skatepark. I don’t want to have to be not nice if I meet you here again, okay?” she says softly. 

“We will!” the smiling boys say in unison. 

“Alright, she says as she slides into her vehicle. “Now get out of here!” she smiles. 

The boys depart and she sees them make a left out of the parking lot. Probably headed for Patterson Park. They’re good kids just looking for someplace to have fun. She remembers getting yelled at by adults and cops for playing fastpitch softball up against building walls when she was a kid. 

As she pulls away, Kate reaches with her left hand for her mic on her shoulder. “20-18 this is 20-16.” 

“20-16 this is 20-18, what’s up?” 

“Sent the kids to the skatepark.” Kate replies. “Thinking of taking a cruise in the sticks.” 

The sticks was mostly a farming area on the south side of the city. It would take her about twenty minutes out of the city proper. 

“Taking the back road 20-16?”

“Roger that.” Kate replies. 

She likes the drive. It gives her time to think a little about what’s going on. She smiles about the boys being excited about the Special Olympics. Her younger brother Evan was involved and since she can remember so was she and her older brother. 

Even after Evan died, the Doyle family still donated their time and money. When Kate moved to this area from Arizona after college, she volunteered for the chapter here and never stopped. 

She’s about fifteen minutes into her drive when she hears her radio squawk. 

“20-16 this is 20-18” 

“20-16, over.” Kate replies. 

“Amazon driver calling about hearing yelling at a residence. 423 Old Dominion Road.” 

“20-18, I actually just passed it, I’ll be right there.” Kate replies. 

“Roger that, 20-16. Be safe.” Replies the dispatcher. 

“Roger that.” Kate replies as she pulls off the shoulder to turn the car around.

Kate pulls into the driveway of a typical farm style house. Two story, long front porch. Neatly painted. Grass is cut. Looks well kept. She eases out of the vehicle looking around. 

“20-18 this is 20-16” she speaks into her mic. 

“Go 20-16” 

“The Amazon driver didn’t stick around?” she asks. 

“No, he said something about being spooked and on time deliveries.” The dispatcher reports. “Do you want back up?” 

Kate is on the porch now, listening and not hearing anything. “No, it’s quiet. I’m going to check it out first.” She replies. 

“Roger 20-16” 

She knocks and hears nothing. Knocks again and hears a faint cry. 

“Police!” She shouts. “Open up!” 

“Help I’ve fallen down!” she hears from inside. 

Kate tries the door and finds it unlocked. She slowly enters with her gun drawn. 

“Where are you?” she asks as she enters. Her eyes adjusting to the dim interior. She sees a woman on a table to her left. On top of another woman. “Spags?”

**********

 

Sinc nudges Allie with her shoulder. 

“Are you sure it’s Tobin?” she asks quietly. 

Allie bites her lower lip. “It’s her number. I hope so.” 

Just then her phone lights up and rings. She answers. 

“Tobin?” she cries. 

“Hi Allie!” Allison replies cheerily. “How are you?” 

“Uh, hey Allison, are you alright? Is Tobin with you?” Allie asks. 

“Oh yeah, she’s right here.” She laughs. “She’s a little tied up at the moment.” 

“Um, where’ve you’ve been?” 

“Oh,” Allison runs a hand through her hair. “Just hanging out, getting to know one another.” 

“Hang on a sec.” Allison says and the screen goes dark. The room can hear muffled speaking.

“I wish I could say it’s been a pleasure knowing you, Allie, but it really hasn’t.” Allison smiles. “Do you have me a speaker and a projector?” 

“Yes,” Allie nods. 

“Whole team there?” Allison grins. 

“Yes,” Allie repeats. She can feel Sinc grab her leg. Her whole body is tense. 

“Great, let me get Tobin for you.” Again the screen goes black and jostling noises are heard. 

The room can see a finger blocking the camera as Allison speaks again. 

“Tobin,” she says gently. “Tobin, its’ time to say goodbye.” 

Gasps fill the room. Someone mutters “Fuck!” 

Tobin’s face fills the screen. She looks exhausted. Her left eye is almost swollen shut. Her face is alarmingly pale and splattered with blood, dried tears, snot and vomit. 

“Tobin?” Allie cries. “Tobin, honey can you hear me?” 

It takes a moment for Tobin to focus. She’s working her throat as she struggles to speak. 

“Allie?” she asks as she squints. “Are you there?” her voice is shot. 

“Oh, Tobin I’m here, we’re all here!” Allie replies. 

“Allie, you’ve been a great friend…” Tobin’s breath begins to hitch. 

“Tobin, we’re with you. Feel our strength, baby.” Allie cries. Tears freely falling from her face. She’s clutching her phone with both hands trying to steady her shakiness. 

“Al, can you tell my Mom-“Tobin’s voice cracks. It’s rough and about four octaves lower than normal. She turns her head as tears begin to slide from her eyes. 

Allie nods. “I will, sweetie. But you’ll tell her yourself.” She cries. Sinc moves her around to grasp her shoulder. 

The phone swaps back to Allison. 

“Well that was a nice heartfelt moment.” She smirks as she fakes drying her tears. 

“The show will start in about two minutes. Let me show you around a little.” 

She pans the camera back to Tobin. Her eyes are shut and her lips are moving as if she is praying. Allison backs up a little to show the restraints. Then she moves slowly down her chest and torso. 

Below Tobin’s sternum is a large, angry red stripe. It’s a bit bloody and about three inches wide and maybe eight inches long. Below that they can see some of the E-stim gel pads. 

“You know, Tobin’s been a trouper.” Allison says. “She took the belt real well. Didn’t pass out until after.” Allison suddenly shifts to her right. 

“Well, things are going to get started sooner than I thought.” She says as she leans over to her left and places the phone in a cradle. 

The Thorns see their view change to one that shows Tobin lying on a padded table with Allison straddling her hips. 

“Help!” Tobin suddenly croaks with as much power as she can. 

Allison slaps her across the face and grabs at something on other side of the table. 

“Help, I’ve fallen down!” Allison yells in the direction of the door. The room starts yelling as they see she has a gun in her hand. 

“Where are you?” a voice calls out from the doorway. A female Police Officer appears in the doorway with a gun raised. 

“Spags?” she says with a hint of recognition. 

Allison fires her weapon striking the officer in the right shoulder. She stumbles back firing at Allison. Allison flinches and fires again and the officer crumples to the floor. 

“Oh my God!” Allie cries. 

Sinc stands up and swivels around. “Have they found her?” she cries. “Someone has to help her!” she brings her hands to her face as she sobs. 

Amandine gently takes Sinc in her arms as they sit back down. Somewhere in the back of the room, someone is getting violently ill. 

Allison looks down at her side and sees that she’s been shot. She slowly slides off the table and stands next to Tobin. 

“Ready Tobin?” she asks. 

Now the room can clearly see the electrodes attached to Tobin’s body. More cries fill the air. They know what’s coming. 

Tobin suddenly jolts up as the current strikes. It’s localized on her abs and it’s pulling her head and neck forward as she gasps from breath. 

As soon as it starts, it stops. 

“That’s pretty cool!” Allison smirks. “But something’s missing.” She reaches for a navy container on the table. Morton Salt. 

“Tobin, I think this just might put you over the edge.” She says as she opens the container and pours the salt on the open wound across Tobin’s stomach. 

Tobin’s head slams back into the table. Her body rigid. Her mouth hanging open. No words. No moans. No screams. No air. Pure pain. Agony. She feels like she’s burning up. She starts to tremble. Then violently shake against her restraints. She’s seeing spots of light. 

She suddenly goes limp as a rush of air leaves her lungs and she takes a huge breath. 

“Now you get to see her when they all light up.” Allison laughs. 

Tobin’s scream fills the room. Her legs are twitching, toes forward, back arched, chin against her chest. Every muscle stands out as she endures the electricity coursing through her. 

Some players are looking away. Some are on their knees praying. Crying. A few get up and move to the back of the room. Girls are vomiting into trash cans. Mark is crying. Everyone is crying. 

It stops. Tobin slams back down on the table gasping for breath. She’s making strangled choking sounds as she desperately tries to get oxygen. 

“Tobin,” Allison says as she moves closer. She strokes Tobin’s hair. “I love you.” 

She raises the gun to her head and pulls the trigger. 

The team screams out.


	6. Lucky Shirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

The Thorns players and staff sit watching with disbelieving eyes. Allison has just shot herself, her body, out of view, crumpled to the floor next to the table. 

Tobin is struggling to control her breathing. Pain is searing across her stomach. 

“Tobin!” Allie cries out. “Focus!” she instructs. 

“Hurts!” Tobin cries out, her voice cracking.

“Breathe with me!” she begs. “In!” 

“Out!” 

“In!”

“Out!” 

She repeats this as Tobin begins to follow her instructions. Her breathing slowing but with jagged sounds when she inhales. Tobin slowly rolls her head to the right so she is looking at the phone. Eyes half open. Exhausted. Broken. She slowly closes her eyes. 

“No!” Allie yells. “Stay awake! God dammit Tobin! Stay awake”

Kling is suddenly next to Allie. “Tobin!” she yells. “Open your eyes!” 

Tobin slowly responds. 

“Remember that time in Brazil with the huge water buffalos blocking our path?” 

Tobin slowly nods. 

“Remember what we did to Kelly after we got back safely?” she asks. 

Tobin nods again. 

“Well, I just so happen to have recently acquired a very life like snake and I need your help putting it in her bed at our next camp. Ya gotta stay awake buddy!” 

“Yeah…” Tobin mumbles. 

Sinc’s face enters the picture. “Tobin! Remember our Canada vs. USA dance off during the rain delay?” 

Tobin cracks a half smile. 

“I demand a rematch, eh!” Sinc exclaims with her best Canadian accent. 

Suddenly a loud crash is heard in the room. 

“The cop!” Emily yells. “She’s getting up!”   
Thorns players and staff scramble to stand in front of the large screen. They’re cheering on the cop as she struggles to get her balance. They can see blood trailing down the right side of her neck. She looks disoriented. She quickly takes in the room. Looks at the floor at Allison for a moment. Her face twisted with grief and disgust. She takes a deep breath and makes her way to the table Tobin is laying. 

**

Kate’s head is pounding. She can hear her heart beating in her ears. As she gets up, she realizes she’s very dizzy. She grabs on to a side table, knocking it over as she stands. She staggers to the middle of the room, gun in hand. Looking around quickly, she scans the walls. Stalker. 

She sees Allison on the ground, obviously dead. Half of her head blown out. Kate bites her lip. They were friends. They played on the same softball team on Monday nights for a few years now. What the fuck?

Can’t think of it. 

Do. Your. Job. 

She makes her way to the girl, this poor girl, laying strapped down on the table. 

“I’m Sergeant Kate Doyle of the Fairview Police.” She states, putting a shaking hand gently on Tobin’s shoulder. “What’s your name?” 

The girl looks at her with dull eyes. “Tobin. Heath.” Tobin replies squinting. Everything is a little blurry without her contacts but she can tell this woman is beautiful. She has jet black hair pullled back in a ponytail with a pale complexion and piercing blues eyes. Blood has trailed down her neck on the right side and Tobin can make out a bloody wound near her right temple. 

“Well Tobin, let’s get you out of here.” Kate says reaching for the strap on her Tobin’s left wrist. 

“20-18 this is 20-16” Kate calls into her mic. 

“20-18, over.” 

“Suspect down. Officer down. Need two ambulances.” Kate states. 

She frees Tobin’s left hand and gently brings her arm to her side. 

“Tobin, you’ve been very brave,” she says softly. “Can you be brave for just a little longer?” 

Tobin gulps and nods affirmatively. 

“20-16 what’re injuries?” the radio goes off. 

“Uh, took one to the shoulder with the vest and um, a round to the head I think.” Kate replies. 

“Kate!” the dispatcher cries. 

“Please just get back up here.” Kate pleads. 

The mic goes off with various commands and responses. Kate blocks them out. 

She works on freeing Tobin’s left leg and notices the pads and wires. 

“E-stim?” she asks looking at Tobin. 

Tobin nods her head as some tears start to fall. 

As Kate is disconnecting the wires from the pads, she suddenly shoots her head up. 

“Do you smell something?” she asks scanning the room.

“20-18 this is 20-16. Natural gas leak at this location. Removing victim from home. Need a fire response.” 

“Fuck!” she mutters as she moves to the opposite side of the table. 

She quickly releases Tobin from the restraints and yanks the wires from the pads. 

She stumbles a little reaching for a blanket on the floor. She’s not as dizzy as before but it’s still there. 

“Am I hearing things or do you hear muffled screaming?” she asks Tobin.

“I hear it,” Tobin rasps. “Basement?” 

Kate brings her arm beneath Tobin’s shoulders and sits her upright slowly. Tobin whimpers from the pain. Keeping her left arm around Tobin’s shoulders, Kate gently grabs Tobin’s left knee and twists her legs so they are dangling from the side of the table. 

She takes the blanket and drapes it around Tobin’s shoulders.

“I’m sure this is gonna hurt like hell, but we gotta get out of here.” She says as she backs in between Tobin’s legs. 

“You ready?” she asks. 

Tobin takes a deep breath. “Yeah,” she breathes out. 

“Count of three and we go.” Kate instructs. 

“One, two, three!” she says as she lifts Tobin onto her back. Tobin cries out from the pain of her stomach contacting Kate’s back and the blood rushing back into her legs. She brings Tobin’s arms around her neck and firmly holds them at the wrists and begins to carefully make their way out.

Allie is crying uncontrollably. Emily is holding her as she cries as well. 

“I can’t believe we just witnessed that!” Kling states as she stares in shock at the screen. The room is empty. The table bare except for a few wires hanging off it. 

Everyone is talking at once. A small group in the corner is praying. Mark is on the phone. John is on the phone. 

“She’s back!” Kling yells as she points at the screen. 

“Who?” asks Mana. 

“The cop!” Kling exclaims. “She just came back in and went to the left of the screen.” 

“The fucking house is going to blow up- is she crazy?” Sinc asks. 

Moments later they see Kate with a teenage girl on her back and one in her arms as she staggers from the house.

“What a fuckin’ badass!” Emily proclaims.

Not even a minute later, a loud explosion is heard, the room erupts in flames and the connection is lost. 

“You gotta be joking me.” Allie says, stunned. “That was unbelievable.” 

“Angels were watching down on them.” Sinc says. “That right there was God working.” 

Allie looks at her thoughtfully. “I think you’re right.” She says quietly. 

“Hey everyone!” John yells. “Can I have your attention!” 

The room quiets down. 

“Fairview Police and Portland have been in touch. They’ve asked that we maintain a media silence about what we witnessed until they can review a recording of it and gather a few more facts. Please be as quiet to others about this as much as you can.” John continues. “We all know how private of a person Tobin is and I’d like for us to respect that as much as possible.” 

“Also,” Doug interjects, “Stephanie, our sports psychologist is on a plane as we speak and will be here in the morning for any of you who would like to talk and process what we’ve just seen. The Courage have offered the services of their staff as well.” 

“So, that leaves us with one thing,” Mark says as he looks around the room. “Do we have it in us to play tomorrow?”

Everyone is looking at each other. 

“I’ve talked to Paul, he’s aware of what’s going on and we can reschedule.”

“I want to know that Tobin will be okay. But I want to play.” Sinc says looking at her teammates. “I want to play the best that I can for Tobin.”

“Hell, yeah!” Kling grins. 

“Who’s with me?” Sinc shouts. 

The room erupts. 

“Everybody bring it in,” Marks says as the group huddles together. “Breakfast at 9:00. We’ll make a decision in the morning. For Tobin on 3- 1, 2,3-“  
“For Tobin!” 

****** 

Somehow Kate manages to get the blanket on the ground behind a large decorative rock on the front lawn about 30 yards away from the front of the house. As gently as she can, she lowers Tobin down and covers her with the other half of the blanket. 

“I’ll be right back.” She says. 

“Don’t go!” Tobin cries. “You’re hurt!” she rasps. She tries to reach out for her but her arm isn’t cooperating. 

“I have to. I’ll just be a minute.” Kate says as she run off back into the house. 

Tobin lays there on the ground. Her legs tingling and twitching occasionally. Her stomach still feel hot, like a burn. Her head hurts, her eye hurts, everything hurts.   
She hears a vehicle pull up and someone is yelling. She’s too tired to open her eyes. She just wants to sleep. A sudden explosion scares her and she feels the concussion of it in her chest. Kate, she thinks, hoping she got out. She doesn’t know if she could live with herself if someone died trying to help her.   
She’s not sure how much time has passed when she feels the sting of a needle in her arm. Someone yelling about rolling veins. She feels multiple pierces and feels like it’s digging in her arm. She winces and cracks her right eye open and sees a man in uniform. 

“What’s your name?” he’s asking her. 

“Tobin,” she says softly. “Where’s Kate? Is she okay?” 

He nods. “She just got out. Tobin I have to put this IV in your neck. You’re extremely dehydrated and we can’t get any good veins in your arms. I need you to turn your head to the left and be very still, okay?” he instructs. 

Kate walks up slowly. She kneels next to Tobin and starts messing with her vest. Another medic shows up and is instructing her to lay down but she’s refusing. 

“Jerry, just let me take this off,” she says as she awkwardly rips the vest away and starts unbuttoning her shirt with shaky hands. 

“C’mon, Kate, you’re going into shock.” Jerry states. “I’ve got to get an IV started.” 

“Just, just wait,” Kate says stubbornly. “I’ve got to get my shirt off. I’m not letting you guys cut it off.” 

“Let me help you.” A deep voice says. It’s an older cop. “You’ll need a new one. Can’t have you walking around with a shirt with a bullet hole in it.” He jokes as he gently draws her arm from the sleeve. 

“No, I need this one off.” Kate says as she begins to lift her t-shirt off revealing a black sports bra and an ugly bruise below her collarbone. 

“What’s the deal with that shirt?” Jerry says as he unwraps some bandages. 

“It’s my lucky shirt.” Kate says as her eyes glaze over. She hands to the cop. “Steve, will you have your wife wash it?” She starts taking off her belt. 

“Absolutely.” He smiles. 

Kate slumps from her knees to a sitting position. Jerry takes her shoulders and lays her back on a backboard. 

“Samson.” Kate says suddenly. “Someone has to get Samson.” Her voice sounds panicked. 

Tobin wonders who the Hell Samson is. 

“I’ve got a key, I’ll take care of him.” The cop replies soothingly. “You just rest.” 

Kate turns her head towards Tobin and looks at her. 

“How you holding up, champ?” she asks. 

Tobin nods slightly. She looks up at the sky. It’s a beautiful day. The sky is so blue. The sun feels good on her skin. She turns back to Kate. 

“I’m-“ Tobin starts to say and realizes Kate is unconscious. 

Tobin closes her eyes and prays Kate will be okay. The rest is a blur. She hears loud yelling “Officer down!” repeatedly. She jostled around as she’s loaded into an ambulance. She feels so disconnected from everything. They must have given her painkillers because nothing hurts. She feels warm and comfy. She hears various people calling her name and a flurry of activity. 

Then it gets quiet and she falls into an uneasy unconsciousness.


	7. Hospitals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fallout.

Tobin can hear soft murmuring but can’t decipher any words of the conversation. She hears a consistent beep somewhere off to her side. She feels as if she’s floating. No pain. She’s content. She could just stay here for a while and chill. 

She’s nice and warm and there’s something on her face but she’s not really worried about it. She’s not really worried about anything right now. She realizes she must be on some awesome drugs and that’s totally cool with her. She doesn’t want to deal with anything right now. 

She doesn’t have the strength or will to open her eyes. She feels safe. She feels at peace. She can just stay here and drift off to sleep. 

So she does. 

**

“Alright,” Mark announces as the team is finishing up breakfast, “I’m sure you’ve all heard bits and pieces of how Tobin is.” 

He stands up and moves to the front of the room clutching a piece of paper. 

“I’m not going into all the gory details but this is what her Mother, Cindy emailed me.” 

He clears his throat. “This does not leave this room.”

“Tobin was severely dehydrated when she came into the hospital. They are giving her fluids and closely monitoring her kidneys and other organs as she rehydrates. She has a broken left occipital bone around her eye and a cut that required stitches. Possible Grade 1 concussion. She has first and second degree contact burns from the E-stim gel pads. Her stomach is being treated as a burn, second degree, may need a skin graft.” He stops for a moment. 

All eyes are on him as he speaks. “It appears she suffered through multiple sexual assaults which did some internal and external damage.” They see a small tear come down his face. 

“Once she is stabilized, the plan is to use recovery therapies, like we do, for her over exposure to the E-stim. As of right now, she is in a medically induced coma so they can stabilize her and they intend to bring her out of it tomorrow.” He clears his throat again and wipes his face.

“Medically speaking she is listed as serious condition in the Intensive Care Unit and the doctors at University Hospital are optimistic for a full recovery.” 

The room is silent. 

“Coach?” Allie asks in a shaky voice. 

“Your flight is booked. Go pack and find John, he is taking you to the airport.” Mark states. 

Allie sobs as she walks toward the door. She turns, “You guys don’t hate me for-“ 

“Go.” Sinc says commandingly. “Be our eyes and ears until we get home.”

Sinc looks around the room, “We’re gonna kick some ass for Tobin and get home soon.” 

Allie nods and walks out.

Mark looks at them with pride in his eyes. “Nike has a chartered jet available for us to use tonight after the game. I’d like us to pack and leave immediately after we beat the   
Courage.” 

The team nods.

“Alright, it’s game day, let’s get focused.” Mark states. “See you at the bus at 1:00.” 

**

“Can I just go home?” Kate whines. She’s bored and tired of laying around. 

“Nope.” The doctor replies. She sits down in the chair next to Kate’s bed. “You haven’t been able to walk yet because you’re still dizzy from, you know, getting shot in the head.” 

“But Liz-“Kate tries.

“No!” Liz shakes her head. “yes, it was a one in a million, lucky shot. How that bullet just skimmed your stupid, thick skull is beyond me. You don’t know how shocked we were when you came in.” 

Liz’s eyes softened. “When we heard the Officer Down call and realized it was you with a head wound, I…” she trails off and reaches for Kate’s left hand. “We were so scared.” 

Kate looks down. They are silent for a few minutes. Kate and Liz became fast friends when Kate moved to Fairview seven years ago. They both answered an ad looking for rec softball players and developed a deep friendship over the years. Liz also plays violin in the band they’re in. 

“Also, if you’ll notice, we are sitting in a dark room because you are experiencing some severe light sensitivity from your concussion.” Liz states. “Once we get past these hurdles a little bit, then we’ll talk about release dates.” 

Kate sighs. She knows Liz is right. “I just feel stupid laying her, I guess.” 

“Well, you shouldn’t.” Liz says standing up. “You, my dear, are a hero.” She squeezes Kate’s hand.

“I don’t know about that.” Kate replies softly. “I was just doing my job. I don’t even remember what really happened.”

Liz shakes her head and leans over, kissing the crown of Kate’s head. “I knew you’d say that.” 

She gives Kate’s hand one more squeeze before letting go. “I gottta go. Rounds. Don’t hassle the nurses. I’ll tell them to kick your ass.” 

As she gets to the door, she turns, “Steve said he’s coming up after shift. Be nice. He might bring you some ice cream.” 

“How’s Samson?” Kate asks. 

“Living like a King!” Liz laughs. 

Kate snuggles deeper into her bed. 

Liz is almost out the door when Kate calls her name. 

“Liz,” Kate says softly, not making eye contact. “Can we talk about Spags sometime?” 

Liz nods. “Yeah, kid. We can.” 

Kate shuts her eyes and wills herself to sleep. They’ve given her some pain medications for her pounding headache and bruised shoulder. It’s making her a little sleepy. She’s got a couple of hours before Steve arrives. Her older brother Jake checked in with her earlier, promising he would return later in the evening as well. She thinks she saw him yesterday but everything was pretty blurry. 

In her mind, she thinks of Allison. She swears there was nothing that tipped off her cop senses to make her think anything was up. She tries to remember any interactions when they played ball and hung out that might offer a clue. Hell, a group of them even went to a few Thorns games and nothing raised a red flag.   
Slowly she drifts off into a troubled sleep. 

**

Allie tries to force herself to walk when all she wants to do is run down the hospital hallway. She called Cindy as soon as her plane landed and Bati met her airport and dropped her off. Her stomach is in knots, hunger gnawing at her, but she pushes it away. 

She softly knocked on the closed door and opens it a little. 

“Allie!” Cindy greets her as she rises from her chair. “Oh honey,” she hugs her. “It’s so good to see you.” 

She slowly walks Allie over to Tobin’s bedside. Allie studies Tobin. She’s deathly pale. Her left eye is swollen shut with a nasty stitched up gash on the brow. She has a nasal line for oxygen. Her lips are chapped and cracked. Her face looks peaceful yet there’s a hint of a frown. 

“She’s doing much better than this morning.” Cindy squeezes Allie’s shoulder in a side hug. “Her levels are improving. The doctors are happy with her kidney function- it’s near normal.” 

“She looks so… small.” Allie whispers. 

“Well,” Cindy quietly laughs, “it’s taking a lot of drugs to keep her this still.” 

“So, is she going to be alright?” Allie asks. 

She feels Cindy stiffen next to her. “The doctors seem to think so.” 

“But?” Allie wonders. 

“They are worried about muscle damage to her legs.” 

They stand in silence.


	8. You Guys Did Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin awakes.

The locker room is quiet as the Thorns prepare to take the field. Warmups are done. It’s game time. 

Sinc takes a roll of white athletic tape, rips a piece off and wraps it around her wrist. She picks up a black Sharpie marker and writes something on it. She hands the tape and marker to Emily. One by one, each of the players follow suit until they all have a wrist band with #17 on it. 

Sinc looks around the room. “Let’s do this.” She says determinedly as she turns and leads them out of the locker room. 

It’s a hard fought match with mental lapses on each side but the Thorns score two late goals to tie the game. They are headed back to Portland with a point. It’s not the victory they wanted but, all things aside, it’s the best effort they can muster with the events of the past forty-eight hours they’ve experienced. 

Exhausted, they make their way back to the locker room, skipping signing autographs and media so they can get to the airport. Thankfully, the Courage’s fans seem to understand and bring some of the players to tears as they chant “To-bin Hea-th!” as they leave the field. 

**

In Tobin’s hospital room, Allie leans her head back in a surprisingly comfortable, padded chair to rest her eyes. With Cindy’s permission, she’s spent most of Saturday morning talking to every player on the National Team that’s texted her. She spoke to Sinc who promised to relay the information. She’s remained upbeat and positive for those conversations not telling them of what she witnessed, just of Tobin’s condition. Only with Lauren Holiday and Alex Morgan does she share the horror of what she saw and the of the worries about of muscle damage. She’s texted Mark with an encouraging message promising to keep him in the loop. He as well, has spoken with Cindy and Perry offering help in any way and telling them he’ll keep the team updated with their reports.

She spoke with Jill and Dawn who had already spoke with Cindy and Tobin’s sister Perry. She was glad she didn’t need to go into any details with them. 

She’s exhausted. She shuts her eyes and immediately falls asleep. 

She feels a hand gently shake her shoulder. “Allie,” a voice says. “Sweetheart, wake up.” 

It’s Cindy looking down at her with a smile on her face. 

“Come on, lunch is here.” She waves a hand to the side table. Perry is taking items from a bag and placing them on the table. 

She shakes herself awake and sees that she slept for hours. 

“It’s one o’clock?” she wonders. 

“You were out. We let you sleep.” Perry says as they eat their sandwiches. “The doctor just left. They’ve decreased Tobin’s meds so she could be coming out of it soon.” 

“I can get going if you want…” Allie trails off not knowing if they just want family here for Tobin’s awakening. 

“Nonsense.” Cindy states. “Unless you feel uncomfortable. The doctor said she might be really emotional when she wakes up. You can stay if you want, honey.”

Perry gives her mother a look. “I spoke to her nurse who said she would most likely be hysterical, Mom.” She said quietly. “Please don’t try to sugarcoat this. Remember how she was when she came out of ankle surgery?” 

“Sweetie, I’m just trying to stay positive.” Cindy says quietly. “But I know, you and the nurse are probably right.” 

“You know,” Allie offers, “I watched a documentary with Nadia not too long ago. It was about alternative medical treatments and there was a part about using soothing music to calm patients down.” 

Perry eyes widen. “Really?” 

“Yeah, they were doing a study about people coming out of anesthesia with and without music and how those with music weren’t as upset or nauseous even.” 

“Wow!” Cindy replies, a bit shocked. “that’s pretty interesting. I don’t know if Tobin ever told you about it, but when she came out of surgery, they had to restrain her.” 

Allie’s mouth drops open. “No!” she breaths. 

“Mom, first of all, I don’t think Tobs even remembers it, she was so out of it. Second, I never told her the whole story, did you?” Perry asks. 

Cindy shakes her head. “No, I never did. I knew if I did, she’d be upset over how upset we were about it.” 

“Well, let’s try it, yeah?” asks Perry. 

Both women nod their heads. 

As they continue eating, they gradually being to hear a noise. 

“What is that?” Perry asks, looking around. 

It sounds like a periodic hum coming from somewhere in the room. 

Allie grabs her purse and starts to dig through it. “I have a mini speaker in here somewhere.” 

She locates it and hooks it up to her phone. 

All three women make their way to Tobin’s bedside. 

Tobin is frowning and her forehead is creased in displeasure. A moan escapes her lips with every exhale. Her breathing is increasing a bit and Cindy reaches for the nurse’s button and presses it. 

Allie plays some soft background music and puts the speaker near Tobin’s head. Cindy grabs one of Tobin’s hands and caresses it. 

“Tobin, honey, it’s Mom.” She says softly. “You’re safe. You’re with us. Everything will be okay.” 

Tobin’s right foot begins to twitch a little as her moans get a little louder. She turns her head to the right side and tries to scrunch down onto the pillow. She still has the carotid vein IV in and she frowns and turns her head the opposite way. 

They can see her eye moving beneath her lid. 

“C’mon Tobs,” Perry gently urges. “Time to wake up.” 

The nurse enters the room and stands near the top of the bed, watching intently. 

“Good call with the music,” she murmurs. She watches the monitors. “She’s probably in some discomfort. We need to her assess her when she’s fully awake and then we can give her some pain meds and make her more comfortable.” 

She makes eye contact with all three women. “She might respond a bit aggressively, so please, don’t be too shocked. From what I understand, she’s been through a lot and she’s probably gonna be very scared and disoriented.” 

Tobin’s right eye begins to flutter and her foot twitching increases. 

“A reaction from the E-stim.” the nurse states. “It should go away soon,” she assures.

Soon Tobin is sleepily blinking at them.

“Hi honey,” her Mom says warmly. “You’re at the hospital. You’re safe.” 

“Hurts,” Tobin croaks out, her voice scratchy and raw. 

She’s looking around and makes eye contact with Perry. She closes her eye.

“D-d-d-don’t,” Tobin stutters, “hurt…..m-m-me.” A tear slides down her check.

“You’re safe, honey,” Cindy says quietly. “Nobody is going to hurt you.” 

“Al-“ Tobin breathes out, “lis-“ she breathes, “son,” 

“Hurt me!” her crying is getting worse.

“She can’t hurt you now, Tobin,” Perry says as she strokes her hair. 

Tobin moves her head to the side. She’s struggling to move her arms and legs. 

“Can’t move!” she panics. “Why?” her throat guttural. 

“You’re on muscle relaxers to help you, sweetie.” Her Mom says. 

“Can’t move!” Tobin chants as she struggles. “Can’t move!” growing hysterical. 

“Calm down Tobin,” a voice gently commands. It’s the nurse. She moves to Tobin’s side.

The nurse brings a cup to her and brings the straw to her mouth. “Have a little drink Tobin. I’m your nurse. My name is Sarah.” 

Tobin starts to slow her breathing. She nods slowly as she sucks on the straw. Then she sees Allie. 

“Harry?” Allie cries. 

Memories of the events of what happened start to flood Tobin’s mind. Her head flinches as a mental picture appears of when she saw Allie last. A tear slides down her face. 

“Harry…” she rasps. She closes her eyes. “Bright.” She mumbles. “Light.” 

Allie bounds to the switch by the door and shuts off the overhead light. Sunlight is gently filtered into the room from the mini blinds. 

“Better?” she asks. 

Tobin cracks her eye open a little. “Yeah.” 

“She hurt me Mom.” Tobin cries. 

“Raped me,” as she cries harder. 

“I know, sweetie, I’m so sorry,” her Mom replies.

“Hurts,” Tobin cries. 

“Tobin, I need to ask you some questions to see how you’re doing, okay?” Sarah asks. 

Tobin nods slowly. 

“Where does it hurt?” 

“Stomach,” Tobin breathes out. She’s breathing heavy.

The nurse moves her blankets off and lifts her gown to her chest. 

“Up here?” she asks. Motioning to her wound from the belt.

“Lower” Tobin is moving her head left to right. Her foot is twitching violently.

“Here?” she moves to her abdominals which are covered in bandages from the burns from the gel pads. 

“Lower,” Tobin winces, “deeper.”

“Here?” the nurse is touching her lower abdomen just above her pubic area. Allie notices the deep, purple bruising on Tobin's inner thighs.

“Hurts,” Tobin rasps out. 

“Tobin, you have a bruised cervix.” The nurse informs her. “Also some vaginal tearing,” 

Tobin is crying quietly. 

“Let me ask you some questions and then we can give you something to take the pain away, okay?” she quietly asks. 

Tobin nods. 

“Do you know what day it is?” 

“No.” she sniffles.

“Do you know who the President is?” 

She frowns. “Not Hillary.”

“Can you look at the clock and tell me what time it is?” 

She squints. “Need… glasses….” 

“Do you know why you’re here?” Sarah asks quietly. 

Tobin’s eye grows wide, her eyebrows arching up. 

“Um, taken. Attacked.” She says, her voice low and rough. She sharply turns to look at her mother. “Kate?” 

“Who’s Kate?” Cindy and Perry ask in unison.

“The cop.” Tobin looks frantic. “She okay?” she slurs.

“She- shot- twice. Head!” she begins to sob. 

As Cindy and Perry attempt to comfort her and the nurse quietly slips a needle into Tobin’s IV to calm her down, Allie grabs her phone and makes her way to the hallway.   
“John?” she asks. “Can you get the status of the cop that saved Tobin?” she hears his reply. “Yeah, Kate. No, well yeah, she’s awake and hysterical about it.” A pause. “Thanks so much!” she says disconnecting the call. 

Allie enters the room hearing Tobin softly crying. “Why can’t I move?” she repeats.

“You’re on some really heavy duty muscle relaxers, Tobin,” Sarah repeats says gently. “you’ll be able to move soon. Do you want to lay on your side?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs sleepily. 

Cindy and Perry step away from the bed as Sarah removes the blankets and prepare to roll Tobin over. 

Allie sees the bandages on feet, calves and quads. Perry steps back to the bed and follows Sarah’s instructions and they get Tobin comfortable on her right side. Pillows are placed   
between her knees and near her chest. 

“Tobin, I talked to our security guy, John.” Allie says quietly, bending near her head. “He’s going to find out about Kate, okay?” 

Tobin nods slightly and sighs deeply as she slips unconsciousness. 

Sarah checks the monitors and as he makes her way to the door, she pauses. “You guys did good.”


	9. Awakenings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Kate both have emotional mornings.

Kate’s disoriented when she wakes up. She raises her bed up to the sitting position and leans forward. She’s not dizzy. She doesn’t really have a headache. Pain is there, but it’s not nearly as intense as before. She’s hungry. She notices there’s still daylight and looks to the clock. 8:45. 

That doesn’t make sense.

Then she sees the dryboard on the wall below the clock. Every day, the shift would fill it out with the date, name of the nurse, the CNA and goals for the day.

Saturday

Kayla

Marie 

Walking 

Saturday? She wonders. She must have slept the day away. She looks around her room. 

A folded t-shirt, an empty ice cream cup and a note. 

“Hey loser, you were sleeping so I ate your ice cream. Sammy sends his love and can’t wait to give you kisses and snuggles- Steve” 

She smiles. She looks at the t-shirt. 2007 Softball NCAA Champions. It’s clean. Why would Steve have that? 

Another note is on the table. 

“I now have video proof of you snoring like a chainsaw. I WILL use it for blackmail. Love, Jake P.S. Be up around 9:00” 

My brother is such a jackass, Kate thinks and shakes her head. 

She lays back in bed. She really wants to talk to Steve. She wants details of what happened. She doesn’t really remember much. She remembers talking to the kids about skateboarding and the Special Oly- shit! Today is the Spring Games. She hates having to miss it. She knows she’s not going home today. Liz is a terrific doctor won’t discharge her until she’s sure I’ll be okay because she knows I don’t really follow doctor’s orders. 

She heard she saved three people and there was an explosion. She’s not burned anywhere so she doesn’t really know how she managed that. Car accident? House fire? How was Spags involved? Spags is dead. How did it happen? 

Oh God, did she shoot her?

She starts to tremble. What the fuck went down on her last call? 

Just as she’s starting to begin a full blown panic attack, Jake breezes into the room. Well, more like lumbers into the room. He’s a big guy, 6’7”, 280 lbs. of mostly muscle. He looks like the bearded biker that nightmares are made of. He’s also the biggest marshmallow ever. Sweetest guy and the definition of looks being deceiving. 

“Because I love you, I brought you your favorite breakfast!” he exclaims placing a coffee cup and a bag on the table in front of her. 

“Hey, you okay?” concern in his voice. 

“Yeah,” Kate replies, “just trying to piece together what happened.” 

“Well, here,” he says as he moves the shirt, tosses the cup and puts the notes on the side table near the wall. “Start eating and I’ll fill you in with what I know from Steve.” He smiles. “I got you some grits!” 

As she finishes eating, she is still trying to wrap her head around the story Jake has told her. 

“Spags kidnapped Tobin Heath? And had two young girls held captive?” she asks slowly. 

She shakes her head. “Tobin fucking Heath?” 

“Yep.” He replies. 

“How’s she doing? Do you know?” 

Jake shakes his head. “TV said she was in serious condition at University Hospital. ICU. Don’t know what’s really going on.” 

“Wow,” Kate breathes. She’s kind of in shock. “The fucking house exploded?” 

“Yeah! It did, right after you dragged those girls out. Steve just about lost his shit.” Jake confirms. 

“Are they okay?” 

He shrugs, “Malnourished, dehydrated, assaulted.” He pauses. “It’ll take time, but they’ll be okay.” 

She lays her head back on her pillow. “Mom would absolutely kill me if she was here.” 

Jake smiles. “You’d certainly get the ‘this job isn’t safe’ lecture.” 

“I’m kinda glad she isn’t. I’d feel bad about her getting a call I was shot.” She stops. She tears up a little. “I’m sorry you had to.” 

Jake reaches in and hugs her. “You know, it’s always in the back of my mind that it could happen.” He says. “But you were fucking born for this job. You’re so good at it, I mean, who makes Sergeant so quick? It can’t be because of your looks!” he laughs. 

“Ass!” Kate snaps, slapping his arm. 

“Well, I know my gay sister certainly didn’t sleep with the Chief for the promotion, so…” he trails off, laughing. 

“You asshole!” Kate exclaims. 

“Language!” a voice calls from the door. It’s Liz. 

“Good morning, Doctor,” Jake greets as he stands to hug her. 

“How ya doing handsome?” Liz asks. 

“Still married, but thanks” he smirks. 

“You’re such a dick, Jake.” Kate complains. 

“Shut it or I’ll continue telling Liz stories from your youth.” He says smugly. 

“What?” Kate’s eyebrows shoot up looking at the two of them. 

Liz giggles. “Barry Manilow, really?” 

“Ugh!” Kate slams her head back into her pillow. “Fuck, that hurt.” Her hand reaches at her wound. 

“So, I can’t stay here all morning,” Liz informs as she takes the fork and starts eating the rest of Kate’s breakfast. “How are you feeling this morning? And don’t lie to me.” 

Kate sucks in a deep breath. “I won’t. Didn’t have a bad headache. Wasn’t dizzy leaning forward in bed. Still not clear what happened but I know I might not get that back.” 

“Alright. So how about we get you out of that bed? Sound good?” Liz asks. “This is really good.” Taking one last forkful.

“Yeah, let’s do it.” Kate replies pushing the tray table from her side. 

“Let’s go to the chair if we can, okay?” Liz instructs. Jake and Liz each take a side, careful of her shoulder. 

Kate slowly stands. She blinks a couple of times. 

“Head is clear.” She states. 

“Let’s take a step.” Jake says. As he guides Kate to the chair. 

“That wasn’t bad.” Kate says. 

“No, you didn’t wobble too much.” Liz confirms. “Here’s the deal. I’ll chart the nurses to get you walking as much as possible today. If all goes well, I’ll spring you tomorrow.” 

“Deal!” Kate brings her fist out for a knuckle punch. 

“Hey Liz” Kate asks. “Do you know any doctors over at University Health?” 

“Yeah, a few, why?” 

“Um, could you maybe find out how Tobin Heath is doing?” Kate asks quietly. 

Thinking a moment between being sarcastic or serious, Liz simply replies, “Sure” with a nod of her head.

“Thanks.” Kate replies, a slight blush coloring her face. 

As Liz walks out she hears Jake asking Kate if she has the hots for Heath. 

“I swear, you’re such a fucking asshole!” Kate hissing back at her brother. 

**

Tobin’s right eye pops open as she wakes. She blinks a few times as she gathers her surroundings. The light has shifted and she thinks it must be early evening. She’s still laying on her side but it’s growing uncomfortable. She attempts to rollover but is met with a flash of pain in her midsection and flailing limbs. She’s not in too discomfort. She vaguely remembers waking earlier and being upset. 

Taken. 

Raped. 

Pain. 

Allison. 

Kate. 

“Ugh.” She groans. She feels drool down her cheek and tries to wipe it and manages to hit her face with her hand. 

“Tobs, you alright?” Perry’s voice says behind her. 

“Clumsy.” Tobin mumbles. She still foggy and not quite with it. 

She feels a hand on her shoulder. 

“What do you need?” Perry asks softly. 

“Lay on my back,” Tobin pants out. 

“Alright, let’s get you fixed up.” She replies as she brings the blankets to Tobin’s feet. She carefully gets Tobin turned onto her back. 

“You want the bed raised?” 

Tobin nods. She looks around the room. 

“Water?” she brings the cup to her lips. 

Tobin sucks on the straw. “Where’s Mom?” she asks, her voice scratchy.

“She went back to your place for a little bit. Shower and nap.” 

“She okay?” Tobin asks quietly. 

“Yeah, I mean, this freaked us all out. But I think we know you’re gonna be okay with some time,” Perry replies. She looks directly into Tobin’s eyes. “and you are going to be okay. You’re the strongest, most determined person I know Tobin. You’re going to get through this.”

Tobin’s eye wells up with tears. “Per, I don’t know if I’ll ever play again. I mean, not at the level I was.” 

“Nonsense!” she snorts back. 

“Do you know what prolonged exposure to E-stim can do to a person?” Tobin asks. Voice low and scratchy. 

“What did you hear?” Perry asks, fearing Tobin overheard the doctors talking to them about the possibilities. 

“Back at UNC, we got caught by Anson messing around with a TENS unit in the training room. He yelled at us and then brought the head trainer in who told us all sorts of horrible things that could happen from using it the wrong way. Then Coach made us all run laps until we puked.” 

Tobin stops. “Uh, can I have a drink?” Perry brings the straw to her lips. Tobin takes a big swig. 

“Anyway,” she says, “I know I’m on a lot of drugs and I can barely even move my arms. I might not make it back on the field. This might be too much.” 

Perry eyes water. “Tobs,” she leans in and hugs her. “we don’t know yet. The doctors are speculating. They don’t see this type of thing very often to have a perfect game plan. They talked to Dawn and tomorrow you’ll start doing some movements and stretches and go from there. Your kidneys are working fine now so they’ll be taking the catheter out in the morning.” 

Tobin glances down, “I have a catheter?”

Perry nods. 

“Tell me what else is wrong with me?” Tobin’s voice wavers a little. 

Perry sighs. She looks at Tobin. Sighs again and starts to speak. 

When Perry gets to the phrase ‘vaginal tearing’ Tobin winces. She flinches as the image of Allison roughly fucking her fills her head. She remembers how she felt she was being ripped apart. 

She feels a hand on her chin. Perry staring at her intently. “Tobin!” 

She looks at Perry. “You’re going to need to talk to someone, okay? You can’t do this on your own. You need a professional.” Perry says quietly. 

“I know, I will.” Tobin answers. She notices her foot is flinching. “What’s up with that?”

“Random muscle response they called it.” Perry replies. 

I’m not going to be able to kick a ball or even run if that keeps up, Tobin thinks. 

“It should go away on its own after a while.” Perry states as if she can read Tobin’s mind. Which Tobin thinks, of all the people in the world who might be able to, it would be Perry. Then Allie. Then Alex. 

“I’m tired,” She yawns. 

Perry nods. “Why don’t you take a little nap, Mom will be back soon and then you can visit a little.” 

Tobin awkwardly snuggles down into her bed, yawning. 

“Did you ever hear about Kate?” she asks. 

“I’ll text Allie.” Perry grabs her phone. “You rest.” 

Tobin nods and closes her eye. Sleep comes quickly. 

**

“No! No! No! No! NO!” Kate is shouting as she thrashes in her bed. “NO! STOP!” she shouts. 

“Kate, wake up!” a voice commands. “Wake up!” it repeats. 

With wild eyes she searches the room. No Allison. No Tobin. 

She’s panting. It was a dream. So vivid. 

“Wha- wha-what’s going on?” she pants out. She shaky and sweaty and breathing heavily. 

“You had a nightmare.” The voice says. It’s her nurse Kayla. “It’s okay, you’re fine.” She comforts. 

“It was so real.” Kate mutters. She felt like she was in a house. Allison had a gun. Tobin was screaming. She doesn’t really remember it clearly. 

“Your memory might be coming back in bits and pieces,” Kayla informs. “But you might not be able to trust it yet.” 

Kate cocks an eyebrow at her. 

“It might be a mix of your memory and a dream. Anxiety. Stress. Other memories from your life.” Kayla informs her. 

Kate nods. 

“Let’s get you changed and we’ll take one more walk before I go off shift, okay?” Kayla suggests. 

Kate nods, “yeah,” 

“I think your brother brought some of your clothes here. Want to put something comfy on?”

“Sounds good.” Kate’s voice returning to normal. 

After cleaning up and getting dressed, Kate is just returning to her room with Kayla from their walk when she sees Steve walking down the hallway towards her. 

“Well look who’s back in the land of the living!” he jokes. 

“Hey, you.” Kate hugs him. “how are you doing?” 

“Well, much better now that I’ve seen me Irish lassie up and moving around.” He responds with a fake, deep brogue. 

“Come sit,” Kate instructs as they slowly move into her room with her pulling the IV stand. “I’m a little tired.” 

“Well, I didn’t think you’d be up and running a marathon just yet.” 

“Such a smart one you are.” Kate retorts. 

“Is it safe to leave you two alone?” Kayla asks sarcastically. 

“Of course, my dear,” Steve laughs. “I know how to handle this Irish fireball!” 

They settle into the two chairs in the room and look at each other for a moment. Steve isn’t just a coworker to Kate, he’s a friend and deep down Kate knows he’s also a father figure to her as well. He’s also her Commander on the job. 

“You scared the shit out of me, kid.” Steve says softly. 

“I don’t really remember everything, Steve.” Kate says as she reaches for her water cup and drinks. “I think it’s coming back in my dreams but I don’t trust it.” 

He nods as he pulls out a little notebook. “Want me to fill you in?” he asks. 

Kate pulls a leg up underneath her and settles into her chair. “Yeah, I need to know.” 

When Steve finishes forty minutes later, Kate has questions.

“Why didn’t I call for backup?” 

“Allison yelled that she’d fallen down and couldn’t get up.” Steve replies. “I’’m sure it lowered your defenses as to you thinking you were possibly walking into a crime scene. But you didn’t do anything wrong. I probably would have done the same thing.” 

“Did I kill her?” Kate’s voice wavers a little. 

 

“No,” Steve shifts in his chair a little. “She shot first, you returned fire striking her in the abdomen, she fired again quickly hitting you in the head. You went down and a little while later, Allison shot herself in the head.” 

Kate’s quiet for a few moments. 

“How do you know all of this?” she asks. “Did you interview Tobin?” 

“No,” he says eyeing Kate carefully. “There’s a video.” 

Kate’s eyebrows shoot up her forehead so fast, it causes pain in her wound. She puts a hand to her head, laying it on her thick bandage. 

“What?” she asks. “How?” 

Steve stands up and begins to pace. “Listen, I know you were pretty good friends with Allison so this is tough for you to wrap your head around.” He begins. “But she was a pretty fucked up chick.” 

“After the house fire, we were able to get in there and retrieve her computers and a couple of phones. We brought everything over to Portland so their guys could check it all out. 

Then we learned that Allison used Tobin’s phone to Facetime one of her teammates so Tobin could say goodbye to them. Then she let them all watch as she tortured Tobin, shot you and then shot herself leaving Tobin alone with the E-stim still going in a house that was going to explode.” 

Still pacing, he continues. “Her computer had a daily journal of her interactions with Tobin. From work related, to social to Allison following her around town and accidentally running into her. Almost two months ago, Tobin suffered a back injury during training. Allison wrote about how she faked treatment for Tobin, gave her lower dosed medications so she still had pain and basically dragged out the injury. She knew something was up when they ordered this last MRI and that’s when she put her plan into practice.” 

He stops pacing. “She was very meticulous with lists about how to not have phones tracked and everything. The house was her Mother’s. She never changed it to her name after her Mother’s death because she knew it would be on record. She knew she had a safe house.” 

“Oh my God…” Kate trails off a single tear sliding down her check. 

“She kidnapped one of those girls four weeks ago and the second two weeks ago. Both have the same physical description of Tobin Heath.” 

“Are they okay?” Kate asks. 

Steve nods. “Malnourished, abused, Traumatized. They’ll get through it.” 

Kate feels sick to her stomach. Steve notices her suddenly grow pale, then a shade of green. He moves across the room and grabs the plastic tray on the counter. 

As soon as he brings it in front of Kate, she leans over and begins vomiting. It’s a horrible, coming the toes retching with her whole body shaking. Steve holds the tray in front of her with one hand on her shoulder. When the dry heaves come, he realizes that Kate is sobbing. 

An alarmed nurse enters the room after hearing the noises from the hallway. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Can we get her cleaned up and back to bed?” Steve says softly. 

The nurse nods and makes her way to the bathroom and she returns with a wet washcloth and some mouthwash. They get Kate reasonably cleaned up and move to get her out of the chair. 

As she stands, Steve embraces her. “It’s going to be okay,” he says softly as her strokes the back of her head. 

This brings a fresh crop of tears to Kate as they put her in bed. She rolls to her side to face away from them hugging a pillow. 

Steve motions the nurse to follow him to the hallway. 

“I just brought her up to speed on what happened and she’s a bit upset.” He explains. “Can you make sure she gets a good night’s sleep? I don’t want her awake the whole time thinking about it.” 

The nurse nods. “I’ll talk to her shift nurse. I’m sure we can get her something to calm her down.” She replies. “If not, we’ll call her doctor for an order” 

“Thanks,” Steve says. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “She wanted to know what happened. I didn’t think…” 

“Don’t worry,” the nurse says. “She has a concussion, emotions can be all over the place.” She assures.

He pokes his head back in the room and sees Kate’s shoulders heaving as she continues to cry. 

“I feel..” he starts.

“Go. We’ll get her calmed down.” The nurse pats his arm and walks to the Nurse’s Station. 

Troubled, Steve slowly turns and walks down the hallway to the elevators.


	10. Something Deep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heads are clearer and feelings are felt but, are the emotions true?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments. I appreciate it. Let me know what you're thinking.

“It went under her scalp and not into her head?” Tobin confirms as she sucks on her straw. 

“Miracle shot.” Allie nods as she wipes Tobin’s chin. A little chicken broth had dribbled out of the straw. “A concussion and a bruised shoulder. And,” she pauses for dramatic effect, “she’s supposed to be released today.” 

“Praise Him,” Tobin says. She lays her head back on her pillow. She’s just completed her first meal- chicken broth and chocolate pudding. She’s shocked that she feels so full.   
Tobin’s Sunday morning has been busy. They took her catheter out, gave her a sponge bath, dry shampooed her hair and she’s wearing shorts and a t-shirt. When PT came they slowly did some range of motion movements to gauge her discomfort levels. It wasn’t as painful as she thought it might be and she’s grateful the pain didn’t linger afterwards. 

Her foot still twitches and that bothers her. She tries to ignore it but it’s hard not to. 

A trauma therapist came in and spoke quietly to her. The need for counseling. What she should being doing to handle her emotions. Tobin nodded throughout the conversation. She knew she had to face it but she didn’t want to. 

A detective from the Portland Police came to speak with her. Her Mom held her hand as she slowly answered questions. It was a short interview. The detective explained they had gained much insight from the journal on Allison’s computer. 

Tobin felt a little queasy after that. She didn’t want to think of it and she was growing tired of being under her Mother and sister’s watchful eyes. She didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by saying anything so she simply announced that she was tired and napped. 

When she awoke, Allie was sitting next to her playing with her phone. A lunch tray was on her table and Tobin realized she was quite hungry. 

They agreed that a straw would be a good choice for the broth. Tobin’s motor skills were a little off still, so after seeing Tobin struggle with getting the spoon to her mouth and getting pudding on her check and chin, Allie swiped the spoon from her and fed her the rest. 

Tobin pouts a little until Allie starts making airplane noises as she brings the spoon to her mouth. 

“It will get better.” She says quietly. “This takes time. You’re still on a lot of heavy duty drugs.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs. “I know. It’s just,” she shrugs, “I just want to get back to normal,” 

“You will, Harry,” Allie says as she grips Tobin’s forearm. “It might suck and hurt and you’ll feel weird about stuff, but you’ll get there.” 

Tobin straightens her shoulders a bit and looks at Allie. “Yeah,” she says quietly. “I will.” 

**

Kate feels like a jackass when she wakes up. She didn’t mean to get all emotional on Steve. It was just too much for her to handle. She reasons that he’ll understand. 

After breakfast, Liz came in to unwrap her bandage and inspect her wound. 

After getting all the dressings off, she shoves her phone in Kate’s hand. The camera app is open so Kate can see herself.

“You gave me a Harry Potter scar!” Kate whines. 

“I didn’t do it!” Liz retorts. “Fred did!” Fred was the top neurosurgeon at the hospital. 

“Anyway,” Liz turns Kate’s head. “They didn’t chop your hair that bad. I don’t think you’ll even need to get it fixed.” 

“I think you’re right.” Kate says approvingly as she inspects it. 

“So, you’ve got about 20 staples and 60 stitches in your head. We had to open the pathway because the bullet tumbled around so much. Behind your ear,” she points, “is where we removed the slug. We had to cauterize a bunch of little veins and disinfect the whole wound tract.” 

“And yet, you still gave me a Harry Potter scar.” Kate grumbles. “I’m going to get so much shit for this.”

“Listen, I can’t stand around here arguing with you about stitches I didn’t give you.” Liz says. “When you see Fred next time at practice, you complain to him.” Fred played bass guitar in their band. 

“Pat your head dry after you shower. Don’t pull the stitches out.” Kate nods. 

“Sling for the next week when you’re out and about.” Liz states firmly. 

“Alright,” Kate rolls her eyes.

“I’m not kidding. Sunglasses too. Especially outside. I don’t want you getting headaches.” 

“I won’t fight you on that,” Kate agrees. 

“You have your M-card, right?” Liz asks. Kate nods. “Good. Chill out. Don’t get stressed. No loud music for awhile.” 

Jake comes walking in with a nurse pushing a wheelchair. 

“Uber.” Liz orders. “Everywhere. At least a week. Absolutely no driving.” 

Kate blows air through her nose. “Fine.” 

“I’m making dinner at your house tomorrow night. Working late tonight.” 

Kate perks up. Liz is a great cook. “What are you making?” 

“A surprise celebration feast.” Liz smiles. 

“Thanks,” Kate says reaching in for a hug. 

“Don’t be stupid, Harry!” Liz calls after her as Kate is wheeled out of the hospital. 

Jake laughs quietly. 

“Shut it,” Kate growls. 

Jake just smiles and opens his car door for her. 

As they pull up to her house, her front door opens and Samson bounds out towards her. He’s a three year old, one hundred and thirty pound German Shepard and Burmese Mountain dog mix. He’s yelping and crying and circling Kate as she makes her way into the house.

“Hi baby!” Kate coos as she hugs him. He’s circling her and sniffing her and whining a bit. Finally he lays on his back for a belly rub. “Oh, I missed you!” Kate says as she’s rubbing his belly.

Kate looks up, “Hey, Cath,” she greets as she rises to hug her sister in law. 

“How ya feelin’?” Cath asks. 

“Not too bad.” Kate bobs her head. “No headache today. Shoulder’s a little achy, but not too bad at all.” 

“Hungry?” 

“Your cooking? Always!” Kate laughs. 

They sit down to eat lunch and catch up. As Jake clears the plates the starts the dishes, Kate looks around her place. 

“Who vacuumed?” she asks. 

“Cinderella, over there.” Cath tosses a thumb in Jake’s direction. “He had a lot of nervous energy to expel so I sent him over here.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Kate replies. 

“Oh, don’t be,” Cath reassures, “he was okay, but just had to be doing something other than watch you sleep.” 

“You should see our house,” she grins. “Everything is checked off my to do list. I should be thanking you.” 

Kate smiles. “You guys are awesome,” she says getting up and hugging Cath, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

Cath rubs her back, “Probably get into a lot more trouble,” 

They find a Cubs game on TV and settle in to watch. After the 7th inning stretch, Jake and Cath prepare to leave. 

“You sure you’re good on your own?” Jake asks concerned. 

“Yeah,” Kate replies, hugging him again. “Thank you for everything. I’ll call if I need anything.” 

They depart and Kate is left alone. 

She pulls a wooden box from her bookcase and sets it on the coffee table in front of the couch. She opens it and pulls out her bowl and lighter. After taking two hits of weed, she stretches out on the couch with Samson at her feet. 

She’s watching the game and her mind wanders. Tobin. She’s pretty hot. That body. That jawline. Those tits. Holy crap Kate, you can’t think of her like that. She was the victim of a terrible crime. You asshole. 

She rolls onto her side, Samson sighing as he moves to get comfortable on top of her feet. 

Still, it would be cool to get to know her, Kate thinks. She feels like there was something there the instant they locked eyes. Something deep. It’s perfectly acceptable for a cop to visit the person she rescued, right? That’s not weird. She’s done it before when she got those kids out of their burning home last year.

Maybe I’ll go visit her. 

She grows drowsy as the game ends and drifts into a deep sleep. 

**

“Alex, I don’t know,” Tobin repeats. It’s almost ten o’clock at night and she’s been on Facetime with Alex Morgan for over an hour. She pulls the blankets off and switches the view to show Alex her legs.

“I mean, I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet.” She explains. “I really don’t know how it’s going to be.” 

“I’ll come.” Alex offers. “I mean, I’m injured so-“ 

“Alex,” Tobin cuts her off switching the view back to her face. “thanks, but maybe not right now, okay?” Tobin clears her throat. “They said I might need to go to a rehab place before I can even think of going home.” 

“Oh…” Alex’s face falls. Alex is a doer. If something is wrong she wants to fix it. She is a fiercely loyal friend. Years ago, when Tobin told her about her parents’ splitting up, the next day she received a book from Alex about adults dealing with parental divorce. 

“You know,” Tobin drawls, “if you have some time,” 

“What?” Alex interrupts. “What do you need?” 

“Do you think maybe you could research some therapists around Portland that specialize in my, uh, in my situation?” 

“Absolutely!” Alex exclaims. “I’m on it.”

Tobin yawns. “I’ll send you the list one of the doctors gave me tomorrow, okay?” she says quietly. “I think I’d trust one knowing that you spoke with them and you approve.” 

“Sure,” Alex replies. She waits a moment. “So, tell me about the cop.” 

“Kate?” Tobin grins. “I mean, I don’t know a thing about her. But she looked like a Celtic Goddess or something when she came in and got me.” 

“You know it’s a bad idea to fall for your rescuer Tobin.” Alex shakes her head. “You don’t even know if she’s gay.” 

“It’s not that, I swear.” Tobin says. She looks away from the camera. “It’s, I don’t know, it’s something deeper?” she sighs. “I can’t put it into words.” 

They remain silent for a minute.

“You ever see someone and think it would be cool to be their friend?” Tobin asks suddenly. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Alex furrows her eyebrows. 

“It’s like there might have been a connection or something. I can’t be sure, but I know I really just want to see her and thank her for saving me.” 

“I’m sure that could be set up.” Alex offers. 

“No!” Tobin says quickly. “Not like some forced ceremony or something. That would be weird. Like casual. Coffee or something. Something more private. I don’t know, I think I’ll cry or be an idiot if I see her.” 

“I’m sure you can do a casual encounter, Tobin.” Alex smirks. 

“Don’t say it like that.” Tobin scowls. “That’s not what this is.”

“I know,” she yawns. “I’m teasing you, dork.”

Tobin yawns back at her. 

“I’ll let you go so you can get some rest.” Alex says quietly.

Tobin throws out a little laugh. “I think it’s the drugs, but yeah, I’m tired.” 

“Okay, then,” Alex says, “get some sleep. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Tobin smiles. “Get that hammy healthy.” 

“I will.” Alex yawns as well. “Send me that list and we’ll talk soon, okay?” 

“Will do, ‘night.” 

“’Night.” Alex signs off. 

Tobin reaches for her power cord and plugs her phone in. She sits in bed thinking. Was there more to it? Was she attracted to Kate? Yeah, she was. But was Kate into her? She’s a cop. She was just doing her job. Nothing more, nothing less. She wouldn’t be into her. Who wants to be with someone who just got raped? Raped by a crazy chick with a strapless dildo? 

Tobin threw her head back into her pillow and let out a huff. I am so fucked up right now, she thinks miserably. Nobody is going to want to be with me. The whole fucking world know knows what happened to me. I’m damaged goods. 

She pulls the string to shut the lights off and awkwardly rolls to her side. 

She pushes those thoughts from her head and thinks about surfing. The ocean, the sun, the waves. Her mind settles and she drifts off.


	11. Progress & Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Kate are gaining their strength back and realizing the special people they have surrounding them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice victory for the Thorns. Great match by the Red Stars! Went to my first home game today.
> 
> Had a plot hole I had to fix. Just a little something but it was bothering me.

Tobin awakes feeling sharper than she has in days. With her eyes still closed, she wiggles her fingers and feels like she has more control. She raises her arms above her head and makes each finger touch her thumbs. 

“What are you doing, weirdo?” Perry’s smiling voice asks her. 

Startled, Tobin opens her eyes and moves her head to the side. 

“Uh, I didn’t know you were here.” She laughs. “Things seem to be working better.” She wiggles her fingers at her. 

Perry smiles. “I think the swelling is down in your eye, too.” 

Tobin blinks and realizes that in fact she can see out of both of her eyes. Her left one still feels heavy and she can’t open it completely but it’s a big improvement. 

“This day just keeps getting better!” she exclaims. She flexes her toes and feels a little tightness but no direct pain. She feels a slight tightness in her arches from the burns she has there. She slowly draws her knees up and stretches them out. 

Perry is looking at her intently. 

“They feel like I’ve played 120 minutes.” 

“Like, just normal soreness?” Peery inquires. 

“I think so,” Tobin says, not wanting to get too excited. 

“Were Katie and Jeff here?” she asks of her siblings. 

Perry looks at her with concern. “Yeah, they left a couple of days ago. You don’t remember?”

Tobin shakes her head. “No.” she says quietly. “Everything’s been a blur.” She shrugs.

“It’s all of the drugs you’re on.” Perry says confidently. 

“What about Dad?” Tobin mumbles. 

“He’s been calling.” Perry says quickly. “He couldn’t get away from the project he’s on.” 

Tobin nods. They sit in silence for a minute.

“Where’s Mom?” she asks, changing the subject.

“She’s bringing us coffee and breakfast,” Perry explains. “She’ll be here any minute. Five bucks says she screws up your order.” 

“I’m not sure I should take that bet,” Tobin laughs. “she always gets so flustered ordering ‘those fancy coffees.’” she replies. 

“I do not, young lady!” her mother says from the doorway walking in with a drink tray and bag.  
“Okay, Mom,” Tobin nods as Perry laughs. 

“I got you a breakfast sandwich, think you can handle that?” Cindy asks her. 

“Totally!” Tobin smiles giving her jazz hands. 

“Well look at you.” Her mom smiles. “Ready for your big day?” she sets the drinks and bag down on Tobin’s tray.

“Yep!” Tobin nods. 

Today physical therapy was coming in to get Tobin on her feet for the first time. Her stomach was healing nicely from the whipping and the doctors didn’t think she would need a skin graft. They told her she might consider a dermal scrub procedure after it heals if she thought the scarring would be too much. 

Tobin was feeling good but she didn’t want to get too excited. Part of her was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maybe her walk wouldn’t go well. Maybe there is something wrong with her leg muscles on a cellular level that won’t allow her to ever get back to being the elite athlete she once was. Maybe that damn twitch in her foot won’t leave her. Maybe her head is too screwed up. 

She shakes these thoughts from her mind as she eats her breakfast. She’s not going to deal with the what ifs. She’ll deal with the now. 

Her phone chimes a text notification. 

It’s Cheney. “So many people are praying for you right now Tobin. Sending you all my love.”

Her breath hiccups. Cheney’s been through so much these past seven months. For her to reach out to Tobin with this message sends a tear down her check. 

Both her Mother and Perry are staring at her so she simply shows them her phone as she wipes the tears away. Her right foot starts twitching a little. 

They nod. 

“I love you, thanks.” She sends back. 

Only a few minutes after they’ve finished their breakfast Coach Parsons knocks and enters with John Malmborg from their security team. Tobin vaguely remembers seeing them a few days ago but she was so drugged up she can’t really remember anything about the visit. 

They all greet each other and make small talk for a few minutes. 

Tobin notices that John is pretty quiet and not his usual, outgoing self. 

“Tobin,” his voice wavers.

“John,” she smiles. “One day we’ll go out for a beer and talk about this, okay? From what I’ve heard, Allison never gave any indication of her plans.” She looks him straight in the eye. “I don’t blame you. She left no clues to this, okay?” 

John lets out the breath he’d been holding and gives her a tight smile. “Yeah, sounds good.” He says quietly. 

She knows everyone in the room is distracted by her twitching foot and they’re all trying to ignore it. Before the tension in the room gets elevated there’s another knock on the door. 

Dawn Scott pokes her head in. 

“Dawn!” everyone greets in unison. 

“Hello, hello, hello!” she says as she goes around the room greeting everyone with a hug. 

“Tobin!” she wraps her in her arms. “How are you, my love?” 

“Today is a good day.” Tobin smiles. 

Soon, two physical therapists enter with a wheelchair to take Tobin off to the therapy room. It’s a parade of people following them down the hallways and into the elevator as they anxiously make their way to their destination. 

It occurs to Tobin as they head to the PT room that everyone assembled, except of her mother and sister, have an extremely invested interest in her physical condition. Like, monetarily. Part of her knows that she is a product of sorts. Her presence on the pitch, her face plastered around town, she’s also a piece of marketing for the team. If she couldn’t come back……

It’s not that the Thorns staff are cold, horrible people. At all. She’s never been on a team where she has felt so comfortable in every aspect of her needs from a staff and the team culture they’ve built. She loves the city, she considers it her home. It would take a lot to convince her to leave. A little over two years ago, when she renewed her contract, she had a no trade clause added. She also has a handshake agreement with the General Manager and the owner that she’s a Thorn until she retires. 

It suddenly occurs to her that while her playing days are in jeopardy, her life with soccer isn’t. In that same meeting with Merritt and Gavin, Tobin expressed her interest in assisting with their youth programs. Since it was a World Cup year, she wasn’t as available as she wanted to be. So last year, when they announced the news about the new developmental academy, Tobin asked for a meeting with them again. 

They were surprised, pleased and eager to have Tobin be involved in the program. Tobin insisted she didn’t want a titular position. She wanted to be there as much as she could and really be involved in the day to day operations of the academy. She didn’t want to show up to tryouts and camps for an hour, speak a little and do photos and autographs. 

She knew she wasn’t ready for coaching yet, but she knew she could handle the technical side of teaching. That’s where she wanted to build the foundation of her life after soccer. The official announcement of her title of Assistant Technical Director was coming up in a few weeks. She doesn’t care if she’s shagging balls and picking up cones right now. She just wants to be in the environment, learning and sharing as much as she can and spreading the availability of soccer to everyone and grow the game. 

But she’s not ready to hang up her cleats just yet. She’s ready to give this her all. She still has goals she wants to accomplish on the pitch. 

She just doesn’t want to disappoint anyone. 

“You ready?” Perry nudges her. 

Pure determination washes across Tobin’s face. “Let’s do this.” 

**

A tongue licking her face wakes Kate from sleep. 

“Samson!” she whines. She takes a minute before sitting up. She realizes she never left her couch last night. 

“Come on,” she says as she gets up. “outside.” 

Samson follows her as she goes to her back door and opens it for him. The sun is rather blinding and she shuts it quickly. 

She pokes around her fridge and finds what looks like a breakfast skillet. She dishes some out and throws the bowl in her microwave to heat up. She settles for a water over a cup of coffee. Takes the bowl out of the microwave and heads back to her couch. She goes to the back door, opens it and Samson comes running in. 

They snuggle up on the couch as she flicks through the TV menu looking for something to watch. Settling on college softball, she sits back, grabs the bowl and starts to eat. 

When she is done, she gets up, puts the dish in the sink and goes to take a shower. As she stands in front of her mirror, she pulls her hair to the side to study her wound. Upon closer inspection, she realizes Liz was right. Her hair is in good shape. The length remains even past her shoulders when it down as it is now. There’s a shaved area around her hairline along the wound tract. It’s not too noticeable if she has her hair down. Her stitches really do look like Harry Potter’s. It’s a lightning bolt about an inch and a half long just to the right of midpoint above her right eyebrow.

Satisfied, she turns the water on, disrobes and gets in. 

After showering and dressing, Kate finds one of her favorite hats, her sunglasses, grabs her phone and makes her way to the back door. Calling for Samson, they exit the house and walk around her yard a little. She wants to see how sensitive she is to the sun. 

After about twenty minutes of hanging out on her back porch and responding to text messages from friends, Kate feels the beginning of a headache coming on. Her wound hurts a little from the headband of the hat, even after she loosened it. She goes back in the house, takes a couple of Tylenol and looks around the house. 

Her doorbell rings and she finds Liz standing there with a few bags of groceries. 

As she walks in the house, Liz regards Kate’s demeanor. “You have a headache.” 

Kate sighs and nods. “I went outside for about twenty minutes.” She says. “It just started and I took some Tylenol.” 

“Go lay down on the couch and let me get started.” Liz orders. “I’m making your lunch as well as dinner.” 

“Let me help,” Kate insists. 

“No.” Liz states firmly. “You need to rest. Go to the couch before I send you to your bed.” 

Kate sighs. A nap is probably a good idea. The headache is getting stronger and the Tylenol hasn’t started working yet. She makes her way to the couch and snuggles in on her side. 

Samson immediately lays by her feet with his large head on her legs. 

It only takes a few moments and she’s out. 

She wakes up to hearing voices and her back door closing. She shoots up into a sitting position causing her head to spin. She grips the right side of her head and waits for the dizziness to pass. 

A hand rests on her shoulder. “You okay, kid?” it’s Steve. 

“Yeah,” she breathes out. “Just moved too fast.” 

““How ya doing?” he asks. 

““Pretty good, all things considered.” Kate replies. 

““Here,” Steve say, shoving a piece of paper in her hand, “some woman named Allie Long, claiming she’s with the Portland Thorns has been pestering me trying to get in touch with you.”

“She looks at the number scrawled on the paper. 

““I checked it out, seems like it is legit her.” He says, “give her a call, would ya? She’s very persistent.” 

““Yeah,” she breathes, “I will, thanks.” She shoves the paper in her pocket. 

She turns to look towards her kitchen. Liz is quietly directing others and they are bringing trays of food out the back door. 

“Hey,” Liz greets as she notices Kate. “Good nap?” 

“Yeah,” Kate replies as she gets off the couch and makes her way to her. 

“You were out cold so I let you sleep.” Liz offers. 

“It’s fine.” Kate says. “I’m good.” Her stomach grumbles. 

Liz smiles. “Go change and come out back, yeah?”

Kate nods and heads for her room. After changing she glances out her window and sees dusk is approaching. She heads out grabbing her sunglasses. 

Once on the deck, she’s surrounded by her friends. Softball teammates, cops, firefighters, her band, Steve and Cath, a few nurses that work with Liz. She’s a little overwhelmed and glad she has her shades on. Jake directs her to a table and makes her sit. 

“Alright, let’s all sit for dinner. Our woman of the hour is hungry. Who’s saying Grace?” he calls out. 

Once all seated, Jerry rises from his chair. “Lord,” he begins, "we are so grateful to be here together for such a happy occasion. We thank You for watching over Kate during such a dangerous time. We thank You for her injuries she suffered not being more serious. We praise Your goodness that she could rescue three women and have them returned to their families. We pray for swift recoveries for all. We ask that You offer continued healing to all involved. In Your name we pray, Amen.”  
“Amen,” the group responds. 

Dishes are passed and conversation starts flowing. Laughter echoes through the backyard. 

Kate looks around, grateful for this group of friends and family. Finished eating she gets up and makes her way to the bannister of her deck. 

Someone nudges her shoulder. “Hey,” it’s Kayla from the hospital. She’s also the shortstop on their summer league softball team. “How ya doing?”

Kate smiles. “Pretty good. This is really nice.” 

Kayla throws an arm around her shoulders and squeezes lightly. “You are loved by many.” 

Kate tries to swallow the lump in her throat. She nods. “Yeah,” she says quietly.

A group of people swarm around them and starts a conversation about a ridiculous date one of the girls recently went on. Kate’s laughing and enjoying catching up with her friends. She bounces from group to group making sure she thanks everyone that’s here. 

It occurs to her that given different circumstances, Allison would be here tonight. Allison was a good friend to her. Always ready with a smile and a funny story. They would touch base at least once or twice a week. When Allison was traveling with the Thorns, she would send hilarious Snapchats about her not so glamorous traveling experiences. She’d come to watch the band play out at different bars around Portland. Sometimes dragging Thorns players with her. 

She shakes her head. I just can’t believe it, she thinks. She squares her shoulders. Time to be in the now. Present for this moment. She’ll deal with Allison later. 

The evening starts to wind down and most everyone has left and she is sitting on the porch swing with Liz. She lays her head on Liz’s shoulder. “Thanks for this.” She says quietly. She’s tired. Her shoulder hurts from all the hugs. It’s been an emotional evening. So many people bursting into tears as they spoke together. She can imagine their shock and feelings of hearing a quick news flash and realizing one of their friends has been shot in the head. The hours not knowing a condition. She gets a slightly nauseous feeling in her stomach as she thinks about it. 

“Stop thinking.” Liz commands as she moves her arm to bring Kate into a snuggle. “You hurting?” 

“A little,” Kate nods. “I’ll take some Tylenol before bed.”

“Nonsense!” Kayla’s voice rings out. She’s walking up to them with a cup of water and hands a couple of pills to Kate. “I brought you some to take now.” 

“Thanks,” Kate smiles reaching for the cup and pills. She swallows them down quickly. She stands up. 

“Where are you going?” Liz asks.

“The dishes are not going to do themselves.” Kate responds as she makes her way to the backdoor. 

Liz and Kayla follow her to the kitchen where Kate stops. Looking around, she’s confused. 

“You were a little busy.” Liz explains. “We got it covered.” 

“I’m pretty sure most of the dishes were even put away in the correct spots.” Kayla smiles. “Or maybe not, you know, to give you something to do while you heal up.” 

“Thanks guys,” Kate’s voice wavers. A couple of tears roll down her checks. 

“If the roles were reversed, you’d be there for us. And you have been.” Liz pulls her in for a hug. Kayla joins in and rubs Kate’s back. “We’re putting you to bed, you’ve had a big day.” Leading her to her bedroom. 

“That’s right,” Liz says following the two. “I only like dealing with drunk weepy Kate and you’re not drunk so it’s bedtime.” 

“You’re a dick!” Kate laughs as she reaches her dresser. She looks at the two. “Thank you for everything. You are such great friends to me.” She says seriously and draws them in for another hug. “I love you.” 

“Love you too!” Kayla kisses her check. 

“Me too,” Liz says quietly. “Now I’m going to get Samson and lock up. Get to bed.” 

Kate changes quickly and goes to the bathroom for her simple nightly routine. She gets in bed and Kayla reenters her room with Samson. Samson climbs into bed and snuggles next to Kate’s side. 

Kayla pulls the covers up a little higher. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” 

Kate falls asleep before they are out the door. 

**

Tobin’s more than surprised with how her day went. They started off with a light massage of her legs and some stretching. They measured her range of motion. She wasn’t able to do much balance work due to her arches being jacked up. But everyone was encouraged with what they saw. 

She made a few passes on a set of parallel bars and everyone was impressed with her upper body strength. Her feet are still sore from the burns on her arches so she had to awkwardly land with her heels and sometimes her toes. The consensus is to try to get her into shoes tomorrow and see if that helps her. Right now she’s wearing hospital issued slipper socks with grips on the bottom. 

They gave her a pair of crutches that had forearm supports instead of going into her armpits. She was able to use those to get across the room. Her foot twitched a bit and forced her to go slow but she didn’t care. She was up and moving under her own power. 

Baby steps. 

Perry hung back with the group to hear what the game plan was they were going to prepare for Tobin’s recovery. A nurse and her Mom brought her back to her room. She was tired but it was a good tired. She was feeling positive and in a good mood. 

Her lunch tray was there and she made a show of using utensils in front of her mom and they laughed. She was finishing her meal when Perry entered the room with a couple of to go boxes and two bottles of water. 

“Here,” she hands a box and a water to Cindy. 

“Thanks, honey.” Cindy says taking both items and placing them on the side table near the built in chairs below the window. 

“I’ll eat in a minute.” She turns to face Tobin. “We’re putting you to bed. You’ve had a big day.” 

“But-“ Tobin sighs and decides to just go with it. She is a little tired. 

They get her settled in and shut the overhead lights off. Tobin can hear some quiet murmuring as she drifts off to sleep. 

It’s near dusk when she awakes. She blinks a few times as she hears different voices speaking quietly. She shifts a little and the room grows quiet. 

“Harry?” Allie says softly. “You awake?” 

“Mmmhhhhmm.” She nods as she rolls onto her back. She wipes her check after feeling a healthy amount of drool there. 

“Hey guys,” she smiles. Her voice is still rough. One of the doctor’s examining her said she had strained her vocal cords. She’s supposed to be keeping as quiet as possible, but not doing too well following those directions. 

She takes in Sinc, Kling, Emily and Lindsey. They all look a little nervous. She looks around the room. 

“We gave your Mom and Perry the night off.” Allie says. 

“You look a Hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you,” Sinc declares as she gives Tobin a hug. 

The rest follow offering similar sentiments and hugs. Tobin’s confused as she reaches for her glasses. 

“Uh,” she looks at Allie then at the rest of them. “When,” she coughs, “when was the last time you saw me?” 

The four shoot looks at Allie. 

“Harry,” Allie says moving next to her and taking her hand. “Uh, do you remember when we Facetimed before the cop came in?” 

Tobin nods. 

“It was projected for the team.” She says quietly. “Allison demanded the team assemble to…” she trails off, tears welling. “To say goodbye to you.” 

Tobin’s mouth drops open. She had no idea. 

She slowly looks at each of her teammates. Each of them are fighting holding tears back. 

“Tobs,” Kling states, “we saw everything until the cop got those girls out.” 

Tobin’s throat goes dry. She doesn’t know how she feels about this. She grabs her water off the table and takes a drink. Briefly she wishes it was something stronger. Her foot starts twitching. 

“Uh,“ she mumbles, “I don’t, I don’t, know what to say.” Her voice wavers. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” She says quietly. 

“I’m not.” Sinc declares. She’s standing at the foot of the bed. “We had no clue what happened to you. Everyone was frantic. Then we got to see you. To know you were alive. Yes, we got a glimpse of the terrible things Allison did to you. Then we witnessed the cop coming in. A moment of hope. Then, when she got shot, we thought we lost hope. When Allison shot herself, I can’t explain what I felt. I feel horrible saying I was glad, but I was. The threat was gone. Hope remained. When the cop got up-“

“Kate,” Tobin interjects.

Sinc nods. “When Kate got up, I can’t fully describe the emotions. Joy. Euphoria. Elation. You were safe. Yes, we did see you helpless. But now, we’re here to build you up and help you put the pieces of yourself back together. We have a small glimmer of understanding what you went through, Tobin. Don’t block us out. You’re our friend. Let us in so we can help carry your worries.” 

“At your pace.” Emily says. 

Tobin nods. 

“Merritt has the only copy.” Kling states. “The Police viewed it a couple of times but he never let it out of his possession. He told me to tell you that it’s yours, whenever you want.” 

Tobin nods. She’s overwhelmed. 

“This,” she says, “this is a lot to take in.” she looks at them. Her foot keeps twitching. “I guess, part of me is glad you saw some of it. Maybe it’ll be a little easier to talk about.” She shrugs. 

“But only when you want, Harry.” Allie says. “This isn’t some intervention or anything. We all just want you to get better. We know how you are, so you do this how you need to, okay?” 

The room is silent for a minute.

“Alex is finding a therapist for me.” Tobin says abruptly. “I’m telling you five so you can hold me accountable.” 

They nod in agreement. 

“Let us know or let us help you with a game plan for when you get out of here, okay?” Lindsey suggests. 

“Yeah, we’ve haven’t talked about it yet.” Tobin replies. “But I’m staying here. I’m not going to rehab in Jersey. This is my home. I don’t want to go anywhere else or run away or something.” 

“I have a feeling you’ll know more tomorrow.” Emily says. 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees. “So, tell me about the game!” 

They all sense that Tobin needs the change of conversation so they tell her how the game went, each interjecting their own thoughts. Bad calls, bad tackles, but fierce hugs and tears after the game and how great everyone treated them. 

Tobin’s dinner time has come and gone and when her stomach starts growling, the girls laugh. Kling offers to run out and get her something. She’s gone before anyone can reply. 

 

They talk easily about the Thorns, how they look, how they’re coming together. They ask Tobin about her new job with the DA and what she thinks about it. 

“You know I’m not comfortable talking in front of people and that type of thing.” Tobin explains. “So this is perfect, it’s hands on, developing the culture, evaluating, explaining drills, working with kids and being in a positive setting and eventually help the Thorns with awesome players.” 

She looks at her now calm foot. “But I’m giving everything to the Thorns. I want to come back.” She says determinedly. “It’s too early to tell, but I’m giving everything to my recovery.” 

Lindsey lays a hand on Tobin’s forearm. “And we’ll be here to help in any way.”

They move on to Allie and her puppies when Kling returns with bags in her arms. 

“Cheeseburgers, anyone?” she calls out. 

They dig in and eat and laugh and Tobin relaxes, enjoying her evening. 

They don’t stay too long after their late dinner, they can tell Tobin is getting sleepy. Being teammates for so long, they know each other well enough to read body language and pick up behaviors. 

Allie makes it a show to get Tobin settled in bed for the night as the others look on amused. They turn off the lights as leave. 

Tobin lays in bed reviewing her day. She’s hopeful she makes some progress tomorrow. She’s still overwhelmed that her team saw her via video. She’s not sure how to feel about it. 

She knows most of them really well having played with many of them for years now. But she still feels unsettled by it. 

Tomorrow, she thinks, tomorrow I’ll start a list of what I want to talk to my therapist about. Organize my thoughts, maybe journal it. 

Sighing deeply, she shifts so she’s comfortable and drifts of to sleep.


	12. The Meet Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Kate meet.

When Tobin awakes she squints at the clock and sees it’s 6:45. She’s not exactly a morning person, lazy mornings are her absolute favorite, but when she’s got a lot on her mind, she is up and ready to attack the day. 

The nurse helped her to the bathroom, she got washed and dressed and moved over to the comfy chair. The nurse helped her as she’s still a little unsteady on her feet, almost as if she’s still drugged. She’s been taking her medications orally now, the IV being from her neck to her right hand. She brought her tray over, asked and received some sheets of paper and a pen and sweet talked her way to a cup of coffee. 

She thinks about how she want to organize her thoughts so she starts with just a mad scramble of thoughts all written on one piece of paper. It’s messy, there’s arrows pointing to connect thoughts, items are circled, squared, underlined. 

She needs to do this. For the last few days she’s just been going with the flow. She knows it’s mostly because of the drugs, but partly because her Mom and Perry are here. She let them have the reigns with no problem. This is her first step to getting her control back to her life.

She works on her categories and starts filling them in with the questions and topics she wants covered. 

Therapy- Physical

Therapy- Mental 

Mom

Perry 

Security

Thorns 

She hesitates making one for the USWNT. She knows she’s out for the upcoming friendlies and probably the tournament as well. She sits in thought for a bit. 

She decides to do one anyway, thinking it would be good to talk to her therapist about some of the things troubling her about the team. She’s still bitter about Rio and the events leading up to and after that whole debacle. Even the friendlies after, the ridiculous three back experience. The minutes she logged. She’s only expressed her frustrations to Alex. 

Satisfied with her lists, she shuffles them together, folds them up and places them in her Bible. 

She flicks the TV on trying to find anything to watch when her Mom and Perry enter. 

“Good morning!” her Mom says laying a kiss on her forehead.

“Look at you, all ready for your day?” Perry smiles. 

“All ready to eat,” Tobin replies, “Whatcha got?” 

 

**

 

Kate is inspecting her kitchen cabinets and is slightly shocked to find that her dishes are actually in their proper places. Her morning has been quiet. She’s washed some clothes and written out thank you notes to all who came over last night.

She hears Samson at her front screen door, tail thumping on the floor and he’s talking to someone. She heads that way and hears a voice greeting him in baby talk.   
“How’s my boy?”

It’s Jennifer, Fairview Police Psychologist. 

“Hey Jen!” Kate greets as she swings the door for her to enter. 

“Kate!” Jen wraps her in a hug. “How are you feeling?” 

“Pretty good,” Kate replies. She leads Jen over to the kitchen island. “Have a seat, want something to drink?” 

“I’ll take a water,” she replies. She clears her throat. “I’m kind of here on official business.” 

Kate looks at her. “Okay,” she says slowly. 

She brings two bottles of water to the island and passes one to Jen. 

“This is just a quick check in with you.” Jen explains. “You know you have to have an interview after any incident of firing your weapon.” 

Kate nods. 

“Since you ended up injured, we’re going to have to talk about it.” Jen flashes a quick smile. 

Kate nods again. 

“Since you shot and knew the offender…” she trails off. 

“Yeah,” Kate agrees. “I’ve been trying to wrap my head around it a little bit.” She hesitates. 

“And?” Jen questions. 

“I just don’t get it. I mean, there weren’t any red flags.” Kate explains. 

“Yeah, from what I hear, she covered her tracks really well.” Jen nods. 

Kate is silent, her fruit bowl suddenly quite interesting. 

“Listen,” Jen says. “I didn’t come by today to spring this on you, okay? We don’t have to talk about it right now.” 

Kate nods. 

“But we will.” Jen points at Kate. “Soon.” 

“That’s fair.” Kate replies. “I want to talk about it. I know I might not get answers, but I know I need to talk about it.” 

“Okay,” Jen smiles. “So how about if we officially start next week?” 

“Yeah, that would be good.” Kate agrees. “Hopefully I’ll be driving by then.” 

“So, what’s your game plan until then?” 

“Just hang out. Maybe check the levels on my mower. It might need a tune up, that’s about it.” Kate is also thinking about going to see a one Tobin Heath this evening. She doesn’t want to open that can of worms with Jen though.

“That’s cool.” Jen grins. 

“Other than that, I guess I’m just supposed to take it easy.” Kate says wryly. 

Jen stares at her. 

“What?” 

“Kate,” Jen starts. “you know this is going to take some time. Liz told me about your concussion. Light sensitivity. You’re not going to be able to just get back to it fast.” 

“I know,” Kate sighs. “But most everything I like doing to kill time is outside. Like, in the sun. It sucks.” 

“Well,” Jen gets up from her seat. “I guess it’s time for you to find a new indoor hobby.” 

Kate groans as she follows her to the door. “Yes, Dr. Thomas.”

Jen spins around and hugs Kate. “It won’t be so bad. Time will fly.” 

Kate nods. 

“See ya!” Jen says as she pets Samson one last time and bounds out the door to her car. 

Kate retreats into her kitchen and takes a sip of water. She realizes she’s tired again and attributes it to the emotions from her visit and grudgingly, to her concussion. She grabs her phone and sets the alarm so she has plenty of time to eat dinner and shower before heading to the hospital. 

Placing her phone on her coffee table that’s more like an ottoman, she slouches onto her couch, grabs the blanket off the back and lays down. She thinks about it for a minute and gets up and retrieves the paper Steve gave her last night.

Back on the couch, she looks at the paper for a full minute, thinking. Should I do this? Yeah, I want to hear how Tobin is. 

Clearing her throat, she dials and puts the phone up to her ear. 

“Hello?” a scratchy voice says warily. 

“Hi, is this Allie Long? This is Sergeant Kate Doyle.” 

“Really?” comes the reply. “Is it really you?” 

“Yes, it is,” Kate answers. She knows her tone is straight up cop. “Steve gave me your number last night. “He must hate me,” Allie laughs, “I’ve been pestering him.” 

There’s a pause. 

“I wanted to see you in the hospital but thankfully you were released quickly. How are you?” she asks. Kate hears sincerity in Allie’s voice. 

“I’m doing alright. I was very lucky,” Kate softens her tone. “Thanks for asking. How’s Tobin?” 

“She’s doing much better,” Allie says confidently. “she came through the dehydration issues just fine, now we’re hoping she gets her legs back.” 

“What do you mean?” Kate asks, alarmed. 

“Oh, sorry,” Allie apologizes, “it’s good, I mean just get up and walking soon. The doctors did blood work and they don’t think there’s any serious issues from the e-stim.” 

“Oh,” Kate sighs, “that’s good.” 

“So, listen,” Allie says, “Tobin would really like to meet you. My friend can be very socially awkward so she doesn’t want some, like, set up thing.” 

“Neither do I,” Kate murmurs.

“Are you well enough to come see her?” Allie asks cautiously.

“Yeah,” Kate smiles. “I, uh, I actually was thinking about coming over some time tonight.” 

“That would be perfect!” Allie exclaims. “So, there’s a few of us coming to hang with her tonight after practice. I won’t say anything, just let it be a surprise.” 

“That’s fine,” Kate agrees. “I prefer casual.” 

“Good!” Allie practically squeals. “She does too. Now, we’ll visit a little and then we’ll go get coffee. That way you two can be alone and chat.” 

“Sounds fine to me, Allie.” Kate says smiling. “See you around six thirty?” 

“Yeah,” Allie says, “I can’t wait to meet you. I am so thankful for you. You saved my best friend.”

This always makes Kate uncomfortable. Even worse, she doesn’t remember what she did. 

“Um, ah, I-“ Kate stumbles. 

“Save it. I’m hugging you when I see you. I gotta go.” Allie says. 

“Thanks.” Kate says. “Thanks for reaching out and I’ll see you later.” 

“Yes! ‘Bye!” the line goes dead. 

She grins as she lays on the couch. This could be cool, she thinks. Allie seems nice. A little assertive but, I’d want her on my team. She feels Samson settling in near her feet. 

She closes her eyes and slowly falls asleep. 

 

**

 

This is good, Tobin thinks, this is real good. She’s reading the rehab program the Thorns staff has offered in conjunction with the doctors and she’s nodding her head in approval. Released from hospital tomorrow. Pool therapy at the pool in her apartment complex for the rest of the week. A member of the Thorns training staff will come to her place for stretching and band therapies. Monday head to Providence Park for physical testing to compare to the one from preseason. Steadily increase leg strength and begin cardio. 

They explained that they need to go a little slow due to the burns on her arches. They need them to completely heal before any weight based intensity levels can increase.   
Perry had brought her gym shoes and they made a huge difference as she crutched down the hallway with confidence. She could feel the leg weakness as she went but it wasn’t too bad.

She’s eating lunch with her Mom and Perry when Perry drops a bombshell. 

“Tobin, I need to leave soon,” she says quietly. 

Tobin nods as she’s chewing her sandwich. “Okay, that’s cool.” 

“I need to get back-“ Perry begins. 

“Per,” Tobin eyes her. “I’m more than grateful for you being here as long as you’ve been. I get it, you gotta go back. No sweat.” 

“But-“

“It’ll be fine. I’ll be home, I’ve got friends to help me out. Thorns staff. Don’t worry.” She smiles. 

She turns to her mother. “You should go too.” She says. 

“What?” her mother drops her fork. “Honey, I can-“ 

Tobin shakes her head. “Ma, come on, I’m fine. I mean, I’m gonna be fine. You need to get back to your house too.” 

The three women are silent. 

“Guys, I just need to do this part on my own, okay?” Tobin says quietly. “We’ll talk, we can Facetime, I promise to check in with you. But,” Tobin looks at them both. “I have to do this.” 

Both women know well enough that when Tobin has made a decision there is no chance of changing it. 

Tobin shoves her phone into the middle of the table. “Use my miles. Book your flights for tonight.” 

They both sigh. 

“Please?” Tobin asks. 

“If you don’t check in, I’ll be back here so fast to just beat your ass Tobin!” Perry says dramatically. 

“I do not want to face your wrath, Per.” Tobin says gently. “I will check in everyday until you get sick of me.” 

She looks at her Mom. “Both of you.” 

Her Mom shakes her head. “I’m only agreeing to this because Allie and Kling promised me they would keep an eye on you.” She says eyeing Tobin. “Honey, are you sure?” 

“Yeah Ma,” Tobin nods. “I got this.” 

After lunch they both lament that they can’t find any flights until Tobin snatches her phone from Perry’s hands. She quickly finds and books them each a flight out tonight and   
orders their Uber from her apartment to the airport. 

They have a heartfelt, tearful goodbye with Tobin reassuring them she’ll be fine. 

Then they’re gone. 

Tobin sits alone in her hospital bed, telling herself she made the right decision. 

Allie texted her that she and some others were bringing her up dinner tonight and would hang for a bit. 

She’s got some time and honestly, she’s a little worn out from dealing with her Mom and Perry this afternoon. She decides a nap is in good order. She sets her alarm so she’s not sleeping when the others get there and drifts off to sleep. 

 

**

 

Kate’s nervous. She doesn’t usually get too nervous about things. But she’s nervous. Back and forth she went about wearing a hat or just leaving her hair down. Then she just said fuck it, left her hair down and pulled a little over her right side. 

She’s in the elevator on her way up to meet Tobin. She smooths her hand along her jeans to dry off her wet palm. 

Well, she thinks as the elevator doors open to her floor, here goes nothing. 

 

** 

 

“Stick so far up his ass, he cleans his chair before sitting. Definite NO!” Tobin laughs as she reads the list Alex sent back to her regarding therapists and Alex’s own opinion of each one. She thought it would be a good idea to read these to the girls after dinner but didn’t truly realize how hilarious Alex’s evaluations would be. 

“Oh my God!” Kling laughs along with Allie, Brittani and Sinc. 

They’re laughter is interrupted when her door shoots open and a young girl appears. Her eyes are wild and she makes her way to Tobin. Dropping a bunch of flowers on her table, she points her phone at Tobin and starts clicking photos. 

Startled, Tobin puts a hand up sinking further into her bed, but then the girl spins around and heads for the door. Kling is steps behind her as the door is opened. 

As the girl opens the door to leave, she plows into a woman who was chatting with a nurse as she stood in the doorway. 

The young girl hits the floor. Her phone clattering on the ground. 

“What’s going on here?” the woman asks suspiciously. 

“She took pictures-“ “Fucking Hell!” “Get her phone-“

The woman quickly surveys the room and glances at the girl still on the floor. 

“Everyone, just calm down,” she announces gently. Taking control of the situation in a quiet manner. 

She turns to the nurse, “Please call Security.” 

Entering the room and shutting the door, she gives a hand to the young girl and helps her up. 

“Get your phone.” she instructs her as she reaches into her front pocket. 

“Sergeant Kate Doyle, Fairview Police.” She announces flipping her wallet open and showing a gold badge. 

She looks at the girl. “What’s your name?” she questions. 

“Uhm, Mia,” the girl replies eyes cast downward. 

“How are old are you, Mia?” 

“Thirteen.” She replies. 

“And you came here, why?” Kate’s voice is calm, diffusing the tension. Except for Kling who’s standing to the side with her hands balled into fists and looking ferocious. 

“I wanted to give Tobin flowers.” She says sheepishly. 

“Listen, Mia, it was sweet you wanted to do that but you went about it completely wrong.” Kate says. 

“First, busting into a hospital room like that is not allowed. You scared Tobin.” She says sternly. “Second, I could charge you with stalking. Actually,” looking around the room, “five counts of stalking. Also, you slammed into me hitting my sore shoulder,” she nods her head at her right arm in a sling. “That’s assault on a Police Officer.” 

Mia is now crying with her hands to her face. 

Kate glances at Tobin. 

“I don’t think Tobin and the others want to press any charges,” Kate eyes Tobin who nods at her. “So, why don’t you hand your phone over to this nice lady,” nodding at Kling, “she’s going to erase the photos you took.” 

Kling takes the phone and beings furiously swiping through it. 

“It’s wrong to take photos without permission. It’s an invasion of privacy and just not cool.” She pauses. “This was way out of line, okay?” 

“Yes,” Mai says. She looks at Tobin miserably. “I’m sorry.” She cries. 

Tobin nods back at her. She’s at a loss for words. Truth is, she can’t stop looking at Kate. She’s beautiful. She has her black hair down past her shoulders, she’s wearing mirrored aviator sunglasses, she has on a navy plaid flannel with a white v-neck t-shirt underneath and her right arm in a navy sling. Black belt with dark, ripped up jeans and black Doc Martins. Too fucking hot. 

Kate looks expectantly at a scowling Kling who hands the phone back to her. She holds the phone in front of Mia. 

“If you want autographs or photos, go to games or approved meet and greet events.” 

Mia nods. 

“If I ever hear of you bothering Tobin or any other Thorns players, I’ll track you down and throw the book at you. Understand?” she questions. 

Mia nods furiously. 

The door opens to a Security Guard looking in. He takes a moment. 

“Kate! How are you?” he bellows pulling her in for a side hug. 

“A little banged up but doing good, Cecil.” She replies grinning. “Could you do me a favor and escort this young lady from the hospital?” 

Cecil nods. 

“And text me her full name and address once a parent picks her up?” Kate follows up.

Cecil grins. “Anything for you, Kate! Tell your bro I said hi!” he backs up and gestures for Mia to come with him. 

They depart and Kate turns back from the closing door to face five sets of eyes on her. 

There’s a moment of awkward silence. 

“So, Kate, are you going to start making it a habit of saving me?” Tobin grins easily. 

She grins back, “Maybe,” 

“Wait,” Kling says, “This is THE Kate?” 

Kate nods with a cheesy grin. 

“Well, you look different,” Kling saying eyeing her up and down. 

“Yeah, well, you know, no uniform, not bleeding.” Kate replies. 

“How are you?” Tobin asks seriously. 

“Getting there.” Kate flashes her a tip lipped smile.

Brittani is staring at Kate as if she’s trying to put things together. 

“Wait,” she says. “Kate Doyle?” 

Kate nods. 

“You played softball?” Brittani inquires. 

“Yeah, sorry it’s not soccer.” Kate shrugs.

“Arizona?” Brit continues her interrogation. 

“Yep.” 

“Know a Bailey Bartok?” 

“Bails? Yeah, I know her. Talked to her this morning.” Kate’s confused. 

“I knew it!” Brittani exclaims. Everyone is looking at her. 

“What?” Kling says loudly. 

“She played college ball with my sister!” Brittani is grinning. 

“What a small world,” Tobin comments. “Hey, have a seat,” she motions to the chair next to her.

“Thanks,” Kate says as she sits.

“So,” Allie says, “we’re gonna run out for some Starbucks. What do you want Tobs?” 

“Ooh, my usual, please.” She replies. 

“Kate, can I get you something?” Sinc asks. 

“A black hot tea with two creams would be great,” she replies, standing up to reach into her pocket for her wallet. 

“Nah,” Sinc waves her away. “My pleasure.” 

“Thanks, I appreciate,” Kate smiles at her. 

Suddenly it’s just Tobin and Kate. 

“So,” Tobin begins, “thanks for taking care of Mia.” 

“No problem.” Kate easily replies. “It must suck that you have to deal with that.” 

“Most of the time, it’s cool.” Tobin replies, “But here…” she trails off. 

“Yeah,” Kate sighs. 

Tobin turns in her bed drawing up a leg to face Kate. 

“You know,” she begins, “thank you doesn’t exactly cover my gratitude to you.” She says quietly. Her voice trembling.

Kate nods. She leans forward in her chair. 

“That was really scary.” Kate replies. “I, uh, I haven’t exactly read the official reports on it completely, but my Commander filled me in.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes. 

“Tobin, I can’t lie to you.” Kate says suddenly. Tobin’s eye open wide. 

“I, uh, I” Kate stutters. “I don’t really remember the call.” She says. ”I remember that afternoon but don’t even remember getting the call over the radio.” She confesses. 

Tobin leans forward and reaches her hand out pointing to her head. “Because of this?”

Kate nods. 

“I can I see?” Tobin quietly asks. 

Kate is surprised but finds herself pulling her chair closer. She takes off her sunglasses and runs her hand through her hair separating it so Tobin can see. She hears Tobin sucking in air through her teeth as she first sees the wound. The she feels Tobin’s index finger lightly trailing beneath her wound. It’s soft, gently. Intimate. She turns her head to face Tobin when she sees Tobin retreat. 

“There must be a hundred stitches,” Tobin murmurs as she studies the scar.

“Actually, about twenty staples and around sixty stitches,” Kate says quietly.

“You have been touched by Lord Voldemort,” she says quietly with a grin. 

Kate shakes her head, “I knew I’d get shit for this.” 

She stands up suddenly. Tobin looks at her, fear across her face. 

“I’m sorry, I was just kidding-“ Tobin babbles, her eyes wide. 

“Nah, it’s good,” Kate waves at her. “it’s just, do you mind,” she pauses, “can I turn off the overhead light?”

“Sure,” Tobin shrugs. She snaps on a side light. 

Kate snaps the light off and takes her seat, pushing it a little closer to Tobin’s bed. 

“I’m having some light sensitivity issues.” She points to her head. “The dizziness is practically gone, but this is lingering a bit.” 

“I have a foot twitch.” Tobin offers. “It’s scaring the crap out of me.” 

“What are the doctors saying?” Kate asks gently. 

“They believe it’s going to leave, but I don’t know.” Tobin shakes her head. “I think it’s part mental and that really scares me.” 

They’re quiet for a minute. 

“I haven’t said that to anyone.” Tobin confesses. 

“I feel honored you trust me.” Kate replies. 

“I block out Allison raping me. I know I need to deal with it but I just can’t right now.” Tobin feels compels to Kate everything. There’s something so trusting and safe about her.

“I can tell you that will take time.” Kate replies. She licks her lips and looks down. 

“You see,” she looks up into Tobin’s eyes. “I was raped in college.” 

Tobin’s mouth drops opens. “I, I, I’m so sorry,” she whispers. 

“Thanks,” Kate gives her another tip lipped smile. “It was a while ago and I didn’t handle it very well and didn’t get help for it until a few years ago.” 

“So talk about it. Get a pro.” She points at Tobin. 

“Actually, I have a list.” Tobin offers. 

“Is there a Jen Thomas on it?” Kate inquires. 

Tobin reaches for the paper on her tray and unfolds it. She scans down it. Dr. Jennifer Thomas. She hadn’t gotten that far down to read Alex’s comments. She reads it quickly and smiles looking up at Kate. 

“You know her?” 

Kate nods. “When I first moved here after college, the first things I did were find a place to live and get a therapist. We clicked. She’s good.” 

Tobin laughs. “My friend vetted the suggestions the doctors gave me. Here’s Alex’s evaluation on her: This is the one. She’s funny, down to earth, knows her shit and won’t take any crap from you. See her. If you don’t, I’m flying out there and dragging you to her. You know I will. This one. I mean it. 

“That’s Jen in a nutshell.” Kate laughs. “Oh, and she likes soccer, too.” 

“There’s another plus.” Tobin smiles. 

Their conversation moves to Tobin and how she’s dealing with her injuries. Kate grabs her hand when Tobin tears up a little. Both realize how natural everything feels. They are comfortable together, sharing thoughts they’d never share with someone they just met. There’s instant trust. 

They are smiling like idiots at each other when there’s a knock at the door and Allie and company enter. 

Tobin and Kate release their hands as they accept their drinks. 

Brittani is eager to share some Kate stories she heard. She had called her sister to pump her for information. Kate hopes Bailey didn’t overshare with Brittani. 

“Oh no,” Kate moans. “I know what’s coming!” She raises her hand to her face. 

“So, a little birdie-“ Brit starts. 

“Wait!” Kate interrupts. “For every story you’re gonna tell, it’s only fair you tell a Tobin story too.” 

The girls shake their heads in unison. “I’m down for that!” Kling says. 

Tobin rattles her iced coffee cup, “I think I’d like something a little stronger than this.” 

Kate grins at her. “Me too,” she laughs as they clink cups together. “Cheers!” they both say. 

Stories start flying, Brittani is receiving texted stories that Kate is commanded to share. The girls are laughing at their crazy antics. 

“So then I hear our hotel room door shut,” Kling says dramatically, “So I get up, open it and look out.” She starts cracking up. “There’s drunk Tobin, leaning up against the hallway, shorts around the ankles pissin’ on the floor!” 

“I couldn’t find the bathroom!” Tobin defends loudly. 

They’re all giggling as Allie looks up at the clock. “We should head out.” she suggests, “early practice.” 

The girls stand up and Kate stands too. Tobin grabs her wrist and motions to her chair. 

Kate nods back. It doesn’t go unnoticed by the others but they let it slide as they say their goodbyes. 

Sinc is hugging Kate and whispering in her ear. “Thank you can’t be said enough. I’m so glad you’re doing well.” 

Kate nods. 

Allie engulfs her in a hug. “Thank you so much,” her voice is wavering, “you are a courageous woman. Thank you for saving my best friend.” 

Kate can only nod. 

She sits back down as the group departs offering Tobin well wishes on going home tomorrow. 

“They’re a handful,” Tobin states. 

Kate smiles, “That’s the awesome part of being on a team,” 

They look at each other for a moment. Smiling.

“So, you’re getting sprung tomorrow?” Kate asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin smiles. “Kinda psyched to get out of here,” 

“Nothing like sleeping in your own bed,” Kate nods. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs laying her head back. Her phone has been blowing up for the past ten minutes. She glances at it, sees the words ‘hot cop’ and flips her phone over. 

“Do you have to get those?” Kate asks. 

“Nah, I’ll answer them later.” Tobin grins. She just wants to keep talking with Kate. 

Tobin shares her rehab plan with Kate and Kate laments her boredom. 

“At least you’re doing something.” She mildly complains. “I like being outside, but the sun…” she trails off. 

“You know, I’ve had a couple of concussions,” Tobin starts. “if-“ she stops. 

“If, what?” Kate asks. 

“If you wanna keep talking to me, I do understand what you’re going through.” Tobin says quietly. 

“Would that be okay?” Tobin asks shyly. “If we keep talking?”

Kate is nodding her head before Tobin stops speaking. “I think that,” she replies, ”would be a great idea.” 

They grab their phones and exchange numbers, smiling like fools. 

Tobin yawns. “So, softball, huh?” 

Kate nods. “Yeah, our family has a love affair with the game. Baseball, actually, but you know what I mean.” 

“Still play?” Tobin asks. 

“Yep, Monday nights starting in a few weeks.” Kate replies. It’s on the tip of her tongue to tell Tobin about Allison but she hesitates. Maybe the next time they talk. 

Kate stands up as Tobin yawns again. “I think it’s time for me to go,” she says. 

“You can stay,” Tobin mumbles. 

“Nah, you got a big day tomorrow.” Kate says. “You’ll probably be exhausted.” 

Tobin nods. 

“Thanks for coming to see me. And for the Mia thing.” Tobin grabs her hand. “And for saving me.” 

Kate’s standing there chewing on the inside of her check. She feels awkward and doesn’t know how to reply. 

“Uh,” she says slowly, “right place at the right time.” She feels like an ass. “But, I really wanted to see you and see how you’re doing.”

“I’m glad you did.” Tobin smiles. God, that smile, Kate thinks. 

“So I am,” Kate smiles back. God, that smile, Tobin thinks. 

“Don’t forget your glasses,” Tobin motions to her table. 

“Thanks,” Kate says reaching for them. 

“I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” Tobin asks.

“Yeah, I’ll be around, doing whatever.” Kate replies. 

“Good,” Tobin grins. 

“Good,” Kate smiles. 

They stare at each other for a moment. 

“I, uh, I should go now,” Kate moves to the door. “Don’t do too much tomorrow, okay?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods. “See ya.” 

“See ya!” Kate smiles as the she exits the room. 

Tobin stares at the door with a goofy grin plastered on her face. 

I think I’m in love, she thinks. 

Really? Could it be that easy? Technically this is the first time they’d met. Was Kate feeling the same way? Was Kate even gay? Who was Samson? Was he her boyfriend or husband? I didn’t see a ring. Did she have a kid? Was she just being nice and this was what cops do? Visit the people they save? So, this was like a work thing for her? 

Tobin flops back into her bed, sighing as she reached for the phone. 

She looks at her texts. 

Kling: Kate is a fuckin’ badass! 

Harry: That’s one good egg, right there Har. Sweet dreams!

Captain Canada: What a genuine person Kate is. Hope to meet her again! 

Bartok: My sister says Kate is a wonderful person. I know you’ve been through a lot, and you might not even be thinking about it, but in case you are- ALERT: hot cop is gay and single!

Kling: badass in a good way! 

Alex: glad to hear your new cop friend is as awesome as I built her up to be in my head! 

She texts back Allie

Tobin: she’s something else! Super nice. 

Harry: did she just leave????

Tobin: yep. 

Harry: interesting

Tobin: what?

Harry: nothing. Glad you guys got along. Goodnight Har

Tobin: goodnight

Tobin lays her phone back on her table and snuggles into bed. A stupid grin is still fixed on her face as she replays the evening in her head. 

 

**

 

Kate exits her Uber and Samson is barking as she opens her door. She enters her house, placing her shades, keys and wallet on her side table and makes her way to the kitchen. She grabs a Gatorade, opens it and sits down at the island. 

She gets up and lets Samson out and sits on her deck, looking up at the sky. 

What the fuck just happened? She wonders. She replays the evening, smiling at her conversation with Tobin. I’ve never shared that stuff with someone I just met. She’s an amazing person. There’s something so comforting being around her. Like, she just went through a traumatic experience and she’s more concerned about me. I’d like to get to know her. She’s really pretty. I wonder if she’s gay? Shut up! You can’t think that. She’s just been tortured and raped and God knows what else. She wouldn’t be interested in dating right now. 

But you could be friends. She smiles. 

I hope she calls tomorrow. 

Shaking her head, she gets up, calls Samson and they enter her backdoor. She moves to her bedroom and prepares for bed. 

Snuggling in with Samson, she hugs him. 

“What am I going to do, huh buddy? She’s amazing.” 

She drifts off to sleep with a smile on her face.


	13. Freedom, Talking & Moonlight Mowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin's released from the hospital. Her and Kate bond a little more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all for the kudos and comments. Love the feedback. I'm about 4 chapters ahead of this so it's fun to hear your comments and opinions and compare them to what I've got written already. 
> 
> Hoping for a win tomorrow. Go USWNT!

“Argh!” Tobin struggles as she tries to bend over and put her shoes on. It’s not working. Her stomach is still too sore for her to reach her feet. 

“Damnit!” she curses as she abandons her efforts. She sits with her feet over the side of her bed. She’s a little frustrated. She’s just about gotten all her possessions packed up. All she needed to do was get her shoes on. 

She starts thinking ahead, what else can’t she do by herself yet? Forget even trying to wear jeans yet. The burns on her quads are the worst ones and are still very tender. How can I carry a plate while I’m on crutches? Maybe I shouldn’t have told my Mom to leave. 

She’s contemplating this as she chews on the inside of her check. She takes a deep breath and decides she’ll just deal with it as it comes. She’ll figure something out. 

She spent her morning doing her crutch walking therapy with one of the PT guys. She pushed herself a little and gained more distance until her arms began to tire. She decided to have a nurse help her shower here before going home since she wasn’t sure exactly how she would handle that hurdle at her place. She had lunch. She reviewed her discharge papers with her nurse. Had the hospital pharmacy fill her prescriptions and tucked the bottles away in her backpack. 

Now all she wants is to get her frickin’ shoes back on her feet. 

“Oh, stop it,” a voice calls to her from the doorway. “You aren’t Superwoman.” It’s Dawn. 

Tobin looks up. “Hey,” she says, “I didn’t realize you were still in town.” 

“Yeah, well, I wanted to make sure you transitioned to your home okay.” Dawn replies as she puts on Tobin’s shoes for her. 

“Thanks!” Tobin grins. “Uh, I am beginning to realize I can’t do certain things already.” 

“It’ll come.” Dawn offers. 

Tobin nods. 

“I think I’m just waiting on my ride now,” Tobin says as she looks around, not wanting to forget anything. 

“Well, that would be me,” Dawn smiles, “so I’ll get the nurse and a wheelchair and we’ll be on our way.” 

She’s anxious to get home. Out of the bubble that hospital created. Become a citizen again. Her thoughts are stopped when she sees a group loitering near the doors. The media. Somehow they got word of her release and a few reporters were hanging around outside of the hospital. They rush towards her as she crutches to the waiting car. 

“Tobin how are you feeling?” 

“Tobin how do feel knowing a staff member did this to you?” 

She thought the possibility existed that reporters would be out there, Dave, the Thorns media person came by and let her know. They didn’t know how it got out but they wanted her to be prepared. She thought she would say something but when she heard a voice she recognized she paused and looked for a moment. 

“Tobin, I’m really happy to see you again,” a woman said. It was Anne, one of the sports writers she’d gotten to know over the years. 

“Thanks, Annie,” she smiles, “Me too.” 

The rush of questions starts again. 

“Tobin are you going to be a voice for rape victims?” 

Her mouth drops open. Dawn grabs her arm and propels her to the open car door. 

“What kind of insensitive prick are you?” a voice screams out. It’s Anne. “I swear Clark, you are such an asshole!” 

Her door shuts and moments later she’s whisked away. Right then and there, Tobin decides that Annie gets her first interview. 

“Sorry about that,” the driver murmurs. It’s Dave. “We should have snuck you out.” He’s gripping the steering wheel tightly. 

“It’s okay,” Tobin sighs. She looks out the window. 

Dawn reaches over, grabs her hand and squeezes. She smiles back at her. “Had to happen sometime.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods. “They just suck sometimes.” 

As she crutches into her apartment, she hears Allie’s voice. “It doesn’t go there, idiot. Do you think her arms are five feet long?” 

“Well, where the Hell should it go, you moron?” It’s Kling.

“There! Dumbass!” Allie exclaims. 

The voices are coming from her bathroom and Tobin has no clue what they could be doing in there. 

“Harry?” she calls out. 

She hears scrambling, a loud thump and Kling muttering. 

“Hey!” Allie bounds into the living room to greet Tobin and Dawn. She hugs her gently. “How’re ya feeling?” 

“Okay, I guess,” Tobin replies as she looks around her place. Her magazines on her coffee table look organized, her bookcase not quite so messy. 

“What are you guys doing?” she asks Allie. 

“Oh, well we got a couple of things for your bathroom to help you out and were just putting them up.” 

“Like what?” 

“Hand bars for the shower and a shower chair,” Kling says as she walks into the room. 

“You didn’t drill into my tile, did you?” she asks Kling suspiciously. 

Kling’s eyes pop open wide. “NO!” she blurts out. “They have suction cups.” 

Tobin sighs and nods. “Cool,” 

Dawn laughs. 

“Tobin,” she says, “are you hungry? Thirsty? Tired?” 

“Yeah, I think I should sit,” she says as she crutches over to her couch. “I would love a glass of orange juice if there is any,” 

“Dude, Perry stocked you up, you’re all set,” Kling replies as she opens the fridge. 

Tobin makes a mental note to send Perry something later. She slowly sits down, careful of her stomach. 

“Ah,” she sighs as she settles in. “That feels good,” 

Kling hands her a glass of juice and Tobin chugs down half of it. “Oh, that tastes so good,” she says, “the hospital juice was kind of crappy.” 

“So,” Dawn says as she sits down, “it’s near two o’clock now,” she glances at her watch. “You need to take a pain pill at three, PT is coming at four for the pool.” 

“Okay,” Tobin nods. “Who’s coming?” 

“I think Robin,” Allie says. 

Robin is one of the female therapists. She’s about forty, married and has two kids. Tobin likes her, they have known each other since 2013. 

“Good,” she says. “How’s this gonna work?” 

“Well,” Dawn begins, “first you’re going to change, shorts and a dri-fit shirt is fine. Before you put your shirt on, there’s a medicated gel you need to put on your burns. It will stop the chlorine from burning you. Then we’ll go to the pool. Do some movements, nothing too strenuous today.” 

Tobin nods. 

“Then, when you come back,” Dawn continues, “you’ll shower, removing the gel. That might sting a bit. After that, you’ll eat dinner and then do whatever until you go to bed.” 

“That sounds easy enough,” Tobin grins. 

“Tomorrow, she’ll bring her massage table and you’ll get a massage daily. Stretches and then incorporate some resistance band workouts. Pool workouts will progress in intensity as deemed fit. Ice baths will follow.” 

Dawn looks at her closely. “Are you comfortable with that plan?” 

“Well, yeah, I mean, I guess,” she looks at Dawn curiously. “Why?” 

There’s a moment of silence in the room. 

Allie clears her throat. “Well, since Allison was on staff, nobody was sure how you would feel about people coming into your home.” She says quietly. 

“Oh,” Tobin says after a moment. She hadn’t thought about that at all. 

“Uh,” she says slowly, “I think I would feel better if I wasn’t alone when they’re here.”

Allie is nodding. “Well, we kind of put a schedule in place to have at least one teammate here each night for awhile. They’ll help you with rehab, dinner, your shower and if you want, they can help you at bedtime.” 

“We’ve got two home games, so we’re set of a couple of weeks.” Kling says. 

“After that,” Allie continues. “Bati and Brittani can come over and help and by then you should be doing more stuff on your own.” 

“Thanks, guys,” Tobin says softly, her voice wavering. “I really appreciate it.” Tears are threatening to spill and she swipes at her eyes. Her foot begins to twitch. 

“You’d do the same, Harry.” Allie says quietly. 

They sit for a minute, Tobin distracted by her foot.

“Well, is there a match on we can watch?” she asks. 

“We could stream the ladies and see how HAO is doing. It should be on now,” Dawn says as Kling grabs the remote and starts going through the menu. 

 

**

 

“It felt so good in the pool,” Tobin says as she shifts in her bed, “there’s this gel I put on and my burns and stomach doesn’t sting.” 

“Sounds relaxing,” Kate comments. 

“Yeah, until the shower after and getting the gel off.” Tobin says. “That part sucks.” 

Kate sucks in air through her teeth, “Yeah, that doesn’t sound cool at all.” 

“So,” Tobin says, “what did you do today? Anything exciting?” 

“Well,” Kate draws out, “I gave my mini tractor a tune up in the shed and took a nap” 

“You know how to work on engines?” Tobin asks, impressed. 

“Yeah, the basics,” Kate says, “my Dad was a contractor so I learned a lot from him in the summers, when I wasn’t playing ball.” 

“Oh yeah, like what?” Tobin asks. 

“Well, I can run a Bobcat and a forklift” Kate offers. 

“That’s cool!” Tobin grins into her phone. 

“And I know how to frame a house, put on a roof, lay drywall, that kind of stuff.” Kate laughs. 

“Woah!” Tobin exclaims. “Is there nothing you can’t do?” she asks laughing. 

“Electrical work is the bane of my existence.” Kate says flatly. “Computer problems make me lose my patience in under thirty seconds. What about you?” 

“Uh,” Tobin laughs, “not as hands on as you. But I did drive mowers and line spreaders when I was in high school.” 

“Let me guess,” Kate laughs. “on soccer fields?” 

“Guilty!” Tobin grins. “I like to paint. Artsy stuff. I draw a little too. I’m good with computers. I really like to cook. I love gardening, but rarely get to do it I like to.”

“Yeah,” Kate says, “that’s probably hard when you’re on the road so much,” 

“Yeah,” Tobin yawns, “sorry.” 

“It’s okay, you’re tired. You had a big day.” Kate says. “I should let you go,” 

“Nah, it’s okay,” Tobin tries. 

“Nah, I’ve got some stuff to do.” Kate insists. 

“What are you going to do at 9:30 at night?” Tobin asks. 

“Mow my lawn,” Kate says as if that’s the most obvious thing to be doing. 

“What?” Tobin exclaims. 

“Well, it has headlights. I can’t do it during the day right now and I don’t want it to get out of hand.” Kate replies. “Besides, I don’t want to ask my brother to do it, he’s done so much already.” She finishes quietly. 

“I know what you mean,” Tobin states, “I’m super grateful to everyone helping me out, but I hate feeling helpless.” 

“Tobin, I know I don’t know you very well,” Kate pauses, “yet. But I have this feeling we’re both pretty independent women.” 

“You’d be right thinking that,” Tobin replies.

“So, I guess I just get through this by thinking this is my turn for people to help me and maybe one day, down the line, I can be there for them.” 

“That’s a good way to think of it.” It’s Tobin’s turn to pause.” Thanks for that. I’m struggling with it.” She says. “I’m nervous about the staff coming into my place. I think I’m a little 

scared.”

“That’s a natural reaction, Tobin.” Kate offers. “What you went through, the trust that was broken, you have every right to feel that way.” 

They’re both silent. 

“What’s your game plan to handle those feelings?” Kate asks quietly.

“Well,” Tobin starts, “my teammates will be over so I’m not alone for therapy and they’ll help me with dinner and stuff.” 

“That’s a good start.” Kate offers. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs, “we’ll see how it goes.” 

They pause for a moment. 

“Won’t your neighbors hate you for mowing this late?” Tobin asks. 

“Nah,” Kate replies, “I’m on fifteen acres.” 

“Really?” Tobin exclaims. “How long will it take to mow?” she’s curious. 

“Not too long. There’s only about four acres of grass,” Kate replies, “There’s woods, a shed, a pavilion, the garden and a pond out back.” 

“That’s so rad, Kate!” Tobin laughs. “Sounds pretty awesome!” 

“Thanks,” Kate says. “The stars from my deck are pretty awesome.”

“What town are you in?” Tobin’s curious.

“Interlachen.” Kate replies. “Maybe you could come for a visit when you’re a little more mobile.” Kate suggests shyly. 

“I now have my first goal for therapy.” Tobin announces, her smiling wide into the phone. 

“Deal,” Kate says, “Always good to have goals.” She laughs.

“Deal!” Tobin replies. She stifles a yawn. 

“Alright, I’ve kept you long enough,” Kate announces. “Go to sleep. Can’t let me talking your ear off make you tired for therapy tomorrow.”

“Alright,” Tobin agrees. “don’t stay out too late.” 

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” Kate asks. 

“Definitely.” Tobin confirms. 

“Good night then, Tobin.” 

“Good night Kate.” Tobin signs off. 

Ten minutes later, Tobin sets her phone down when she receives a text. Grabbing it, she looks. 

It’s a photo of the steering wheel of a tractor, lit from maybe a headlamp, and the headlights are shining across a smooth field of grass. 

It’s captioned ‘#moonlightmowing’

Tobin smiles and responds with a smiley face. She puts her phone back on her nightstand. 

Smiling, she settles under her covers and goes to sleep.


	14. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate has dinner at Tobin's place. Tobin gets to finally meet Samson. Feelings are shared. Kate is ready to share the truth about Allison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to erase the stigmas surrounding marijuana use in this chapter. Humor me.  
> Give me a shout and let me know how this is going. What do you think, maybe not like, whatever. I'm a few chapters ahead so it'll be interesting to see if you all are picking up on some plot lines buried in here. 
> 
> Have a good one!

A few days have passed and Tobin and Kate’s talking, texting and Facetiming have escalated. They’re both amazed how easily it has been to talk to each other. They’ve told each other about their nightmares helping each other process their feelings. They’ve joked that when the time comes to talk with Jen, they’ll be pros. 

It’s Friday afternoon when Tobin calls her. 

“So, I was wondering if you’d like to come over for dinner tonight?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” Kate replies. “Can I bring anything?” Tonight was the wake for Allison. She knew some of her friends were going. Nobody expected her to attend. She was a little conflicted about it until Liz told her not to worry. This would be a good distraction. 

“Do you like wine?” 

“Yeah, with a meal I do.” Kate replies. “Should I be pairing it with our dinner?” 

“Nah, I’m not fancy.” Tobin says. “I mean, I can be fancy but Allie, Sinc, Kling and Brittani will be here. Nothing fancy for them.” 

Kate hears someone shout “Hey!” in the background. They must be with her. 

“So, help me out here,” Kate suggests. “Should I bring a couple bottles of a white or a red?” 

“You like salmon?” 

“Love it.”

“Bring white.” Tobin suggests. 

“What’s the dress code?” 

“Very casual,” Tobin replies, “we’re in sweats and shorts.”

“Okay. What time?” 

“Uh, is five too early? We can eat around six?” 

“Yeah.” Kate replies. “Perfect.” 

“Um, Tobin?” Kate’s voice is an octave higher. “Would you mind if I brought Samson?” 

“Yeah. Sure.” Tobin is quick to reply. She wants to ask who the Hell Samson is but bites it back. 

Kate senses her confusion and/or annoyance. 

“Tobin,” she says softly.

“Yeah?” her voice is low, with a hint of disappointment. 

“Samson is my dog.” 

“OH!” she exclaims. The sun is shining in Tobinland again. “Please! Bring him! I’d love to meet him!” she exclaims. 

“Alright, thanks, I will.” Kate laughs. “I’ll see you at five.” 

“Later,” 

“Later,” they sign off. 

Kate sighs. Maybe Tobin is a little interested in me. She was kind of sad when I asked about Sammy. I wonder if she thought he was my boyfriend? 

When Tobin puts her phone down, she’s met with four sets of amused eyes. 

“Well?” Allie asks. 

“Oh, yeah,” Tobin says trying to be nonchalant, “she’s coming.” 

“And?” Kling is eying her suspiciously.

“And,” Tobin shakes her head, “I’m an idiot.” 

“Well, that’s a given.” Brit states smiling. “What was it this time?” 

“She asked to bring Samson.” Tobin is shaking her head. “She knew I thought it was her boyfriend or kid or something.” 

“And?” the four say in unison. 

“He’s her dog.” Tobin laughs. 

They all laugh. 

“Well, that’s good that you got it out of the way,” Sinc says encouragingly, “Now you can just be awkward about other stuff!” she smiles. 

Tobin smiles back. “Yeah,” 

“So you need to shower, get dressed and then let’s get in the kitchen!” Allie orders. 

Kate is fumbling through her closet. They’re in sweats and shorts she repeats to herself. If this isn’t the most casual first dinner together, she doesn’t know what is. Choosing a dark grey v-neck with some black shorts and black Vans, she runs a brush through her hair. Checking her phone, she estimates the time to get there and realizes she should order her Uber now. 

Realizing she is super nervous, she grabs her wooden box, gets her bowl, packs it and takes a hit. She considers for a moment and takes another hit. Without thinking, she stuffs it in her backpack. Feeling the relaxation sweep over her, she takes a deep breath and adds some of Samson’s things in the backpack and runs down to her basement to get a couple bottles of wine. She selects her favorite, an off dry Riesling from the early 2000’s from her favorite Napa Valley winery and places them in her bag. 

Her phone indicates that the Uber is here. She leashes up Samson, locks up and heads out. 

Tobin is annoyed. She’s in her kitchen, alone, washing vegetables while the other are out on her patio. Her foot is twitching as she’s leaning on her crutches and it’s pissing her off.  
She knows she shouldn’t be upset, she even took a hit of weed to relax after her shower. She just needs to chill. This will be fine. 

“Tobin!” Sinc calls. “Get over here. Captain's orders.” 

Tobin huffs and crutches over to the open door. “What?” she says sharply. 

They’re giggling at her. “Here, you need this. Calm yourself, dude,” Kling says, offering up her one hitter. 

Tobin glares at them. “Really?” 

“Uh, yeah Pissy McFootTwitch.” Allie giggles. “You seriously need to chill. Hard.” 

Realizing it’s actually a good idea, she reaches for it and the lighter. Taking a hit she nods at Kling to refill it as she holds the hit in. She releases her breath and takes another hit. 

“Good idea,” she says, blowing smoke, “thanks.” 

“Alright, how can we help?” Allie asks leading them back to the kitchen. 

 

“I got this, right Sammy?” Kate asks. Tobin's building has good security so she was buzzed in and is now standing in front of her door. She shakes her head and smooths her palms on her shorts. She’s got a nice buzz going, not too much so she’s not out of hand. She knocks. 

“Oh shit!” she hears, “It’s the cops!” Giggling. Realizing they’re drunk or stoned, Kate relaxes.

“Coming!” she hears Tobin call and soon she hears the crutches thumping. 

The door swings open revealing Tobin with a stupid ass grin on her face. Stoned. Pretty stoned, Kate smiles. 

“Hi!” she says a little breathlessly. 

“Hi!” Kate smiles. 

Tobin reaches out and pulls Kate in for a hug. 

“Ride over okay?” 

Kate nods as they pull back. 

“Samson,” she commands, “greet!” 

Samson is furiously wagging his tail as he sits and lifts a huge paw for a shake. Tobin shakes with him and pets his head. 

“He’s beautiful!” she says. 

“Well, don’t say it too often,” Kate says, “I try not to let it get to his head.” 

“Come on in,” Tobin motions as she steps back. 

Kate and Samson enter with Kate unclipping his leash, coiling it up and placing it on the side table near the door. 

“Come on, buddy,” she says as Samson follows behind her. 

There’s the scraping of chairs as the others get up and move to Kate for hugs. A flurry of greetings follows and she feels instantly relaxed and welcomed. 

“No sling!” Sinc proclaims as she envelops Kate in a hug. 

“Yeah, it’s feeling much better,” Kate responds. “Sammy, greet the girls.” 

She moves to the island as she shrugs her backpack off. The girls are fawning over Sammy and he’s loving every second of it. 

“Do you mind if I set a water bowl out for him?” Kate quietly asks Tobin. 

“No, not at all,” Tobin replies with a grin, “put it wherever you think best.” 

“Thanks,” she says as she’s pulling out a water dish and a mat for underneath. 

Tobin takes the dish and pivots to the sink filling it up. “Here ya go,” 

She finds a spot along the hallway that’s out of the traffic pattern, sets the mat down with the bowl on it.

“Here,” she says, reaching into her pack and pulling out the first bottle and handing it to Tobin. She sets the second one on the counter and puts her pack down next to Sammy’s bowl. 

Tobin is inspecting the label. She scrunches her forehead. “Where’s this winery?” 

“Napa.” 

Tobin nods her head in approval. 

“Sinc,” she calls out, “want to do the honors?” 

Sinc looks at the bottle. “California?” 

Kate nods. “Napa.” 

“Nice!” Sinc says as she expertly opens it. 

“Allie! Can you get the glasses?” Kling asks, “Tobin keeps them too high up.” 

Allie giggles as she gets them down and places them on the counter. 

Kate’s making small talk with Brittani and trying to figure out if they’ve actually met before. 

“What are you doing?” Tobin asks Allie. 

“Sending a pic to your Mom and Jen of this beautifully set table.” Allie grins. “I doubt she’d believe it if I told her.” 

“Come on,” Tobin scowls, “they know I know how to have a simple dinner. I told them about it this afternoon.” 

“Tobin, I swear you were a second away from telling me to get a ruler so the places were equal.” Brit teases.

“Guys,” Tobin says lamely. She perks up when he sees Kate smiling at her. 

“You’re blushing,” Kate smiles. 

“I just want this to be nice for you.” Tobin says quietly. 

“It’s perfect,” Kate smiles as she squeezes Tobin’s bicep. Her hand lingers. “Now, what can I do to help?” 

Just then the oven chimes. 

“Uh,” Tobin says. 

“We got it.” Sinc declares. “You two sit down, we’ll bring your plates.” 

Tobin shrugs and crutches over to the table. Kate follows. Tobin motions her to sit next to her.

Samson is in the kitchen, tail wagging, looking for a handout. 

“Sammy,” Kate commands, Sammy’s head swivels to her, "go chill. No begging.” 

Samson audibly sighs and finds a spot on the rug into front of Tobin’s television, groaning as he lays down. He’s eying the table. 

“He’s so good!” Allie exclaims. “My two puppies are monsters right now. Did you train him?” she asks as she sets Kate’s plate down in front of her. 

“Thank you,” she says “No, the Police Academy did.” 

“Is he your partner?” Sinc wants to know. 

“He was for a little while but now he’s retired.” Kate says. “He has a heart issue so he couldn’t continue. I adopted him when he was released.” 

“Is he okay?” Brittani asks. 

“Yeah, he can’t run eight miles with me but he can do three every couple of days.” Kate says. “I have a great vet who really looks after him.” 

 

Allie raises her glass, “A toast!” she declares. “Here’s to you and here’s to me, friends may we always be! But, if by chance we disagree, up yours! Here’s to me!” 

The table erupts in laughter as they clink glasses and sip their wine. 

“This is really good, how did you find it?” Kling asks. 

“Years ago my ex and I went to Napa for a wine weekend.” Kate explains. ”I really liked the wine, so I kept it around, my ex, not so much.” 

“It’s nice and light,” Tobin comments. 

“Yeah, not too oaky,” Kate grins. 

“Are you some sort of aficionado?” Tobin accuses her bumping her shoulder. 

“Nah,” Kate grins, “I just know what I like,” she arches an eyebrow at Tobin. 

“This looks awesome!” Kling exclaims. Baked salmon with an Asian glaze, sautéed vegetables and wild rice.

“Yeah, it does,” Kate agrees. 

“I just love it when Tobin cooks when she’s high!” Brittani gushes. 

The table goes silent. The girls shooting guilty glances at each other. 

Kate starts laughing. “Guys,” she says between laughs, “I had a couple of hits before I came over,” she says, still giggling. “It’s all good. Chill.” 

They start to eat and Kate is still giggling a little. 

“What?” Tobin is looking at her. 

“Your faces were hilarious!” she says. 

The table laughs. 

“I told you she’d be cool, guys!” Brittani says. 

“Yeah, well, she’s a cop.” Kling answers, “Not all cops are cool.” 

“So, cool cop Kate,” Sinc says, “How did you decide to become one?”

Kate nods as she finishes chewing, “It’s in the family. My grandfather was one, my uncles were and my favorite Aunt is one. I think it’s in my genes.” 

“What about your parents?” Kling asks.

“Dad realized early on that he was good with his hands. He was a carpenter and then became a contractor. My Mom was able to stay at home and raise us but, she was big on volunteering. My brother Evan had Down’s Syndrome so were involved with the Special Olympics.” 

“Dude,” Klings says looking at Tobin, “you were at that Special Olympics thing back in April!” 

Tobin nods, “Yeah, it was really cool. The athletes are amazing. It was this Breakfast with the Champions thing.” 

“Yeah, I know,” Kate says shyly, “I was there,” 

“Really?” Tobin asks, eye big. She's racking her brain to see of she remembers seeing Kate there. 

“Yeah, I represented our district.” 

“Cool!” Allie gushes. 

“So Kate, where did you grow up? You have an accent.” Sinc asks. 

“Says the fuckin’ Canadian!” Brittani mutters. 

The table laughs. 

“Chicago,” she replies. 

“Cool city,” Tobin nods. 

“Yeah, it’s a pretty cool place.” Kate agrees. “I think Portland though, there’s something about a smaller city that has everything yet nature is surrounding you. I don’t know, it’s just earthy and vibrant.” 

“Earthy, man,” Kling laughs. 

“Yeah, man, totally earthy,” Allie giggles. 

“Shut up!” Kate laughs. She can take some ribbing. 

“Ah-ha!” Brittani proclaims, holding out her hand. 

Groans go around the table. Allie and Kling reach into their pockets and hand money over to Brittani, Sinc is smiling and shaking her head as she eats and Tobin is looking bewildered. 

Tobin and Kate look at each other. 

“Uh, did you guys have a bet on something?” Tobin asks slowly as she slowly eyes the girls. 

“Yep!” Brittani grins as she shoves forty bucks into her pocket. 

Allie looks guilty. “I may have said that I thought Kate would think we were too much and would tell us to shut up tonight.” She says. “That evolved into this.” 

Kate bursts out laughing. “That’s hilarious!” she says. 

As they finish eating their meal, Kate nudges Tobin, “This was really good,” she says, “What’s the glaze? Soy and?” 

“A little ginger and citrus,” Tobin answers. 

Kate nods. “I just love salmon.” She exhales. 

“I’ve always wanted to go salmon fishing up in Alaska,” Tobin states. 

“After my Mom passed away, my Dad took me and my brother Jake up to Alaska for a fishing trip.” Kate says. “We flew in to a camp and they took us out each day.” She smiles, remembering. “It was awesome.” 

“Sorry for your loss,” Sinc, says, “that sounds like it would be a memorable time.” 

Kate nods. “Yeah, we talked about going back but it never happened. My bro and I fish a bit still, I’ve actually got a stocked pond on my property.” 

“You do?” Tobin asks. 

“Yep,” Kate smiles. “Bass, crappie, I think there’s some trout in there.” She says. “I let the local high school’s ecology club come by and they use it for marine biology, limnology, conservation and management. Actually, they use the back ten acres for wildlife management, a little forestry, stuff like that.” she says and finishes her glass of wine. 

“What’s limnology?” Tobin asks. 

“The study of inland waters.” Kate smiles back.

“Okay,” Kling announces, “I call dinner at your place when you feel up to it!” 

Kate feels Tobin tense up and stiffen next to her. She places her hand on Tobin’s thigh and gives a light squeeze. 

“Actually, how about we plan for dinner at my place sometime next week?” she asks. “And then after that, once I can handle being outside, we can set up a little fishing derby?” 

“I’m in!” Sinc says. 

“Me too!” Brittani grins. 

“I’ll be the official judge. Measure the fish and all that.” Kling offers. 

“If you bait my hook, I’ll do it.” Allie says.

Tobin grins at Kate, “Oh, it’s on!” 

“Bring it, Heath!” Kate shoots back. 

They’re grinning at each other. Tobin nudges her shoulder. “I’ll show you how Jersey can represent.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Kate smiles, “we’ll see, Jersey.” 

Allie and Sinc get up from the table, plates in hand. Both reach for Tobin and Kate’s. 

“Let me help with the dishes?” Kate asks as she pushes away from the table. 

“Nah, we got it.” Sinc commands. “You and Tobin go sit on the couch and relax.” 

“Come on,” Kate argues. 

“No.” Allie commands, pointing at them. “You two- couch.” 

Kate looks at Tobin. Tobin shrugs and grabs her crutches. 

“You guys want anything else to drink?” Kling calls from the kitchen. There’s a spirited game of rock, paper, scissors going on to decide kitchen duties. 

“I’m good, thanks.” Kate says. 

“Me too.” Tobin replies as they sit. 

Tobin takes the corner of the couch and Kate sits in the recliner next to it. She looks around. 

“You have a nice place Tobin,” she says. In the background, the girls can be heard from the kitchen bickering about soccer and laughing as they do the dishes and put the leftovers away. 

“Thanks,” she replies looking around. “It works for me. I’ve been here for almost three years. I haven’t really decorated it as much as I’d like. I know what I’d like but I can’t really do it in an apartment.” 

“What do you want to do?” Kate says as she shifts in her chair to face Tobin. 

“I’d like that wall,” she points to the wall in front of them where the TV is on a cabinet, “to be a wall of different woods. Kind of rustic.” She grins. “You know, earthy, man.” 

“You ass!” Kate laughs. She looks at the wall. “Well, you’re right that you couldn’t do a whole wall, but you certainly could do a panel, like, maybe six or seven feet wide?” 

“Yeah?” Tobin breathes out.

“Sure,” Kate smiles. “Keep your TV low, where it is. The cabinet is nice and made of oak, so if you had some oak pieces in the same color stain on the panel, it would flow. The wall is wide enough that you could put up like, maybe, four foot shelves maybe in oak with a similar stain on each side of the panel to anchor it.” 

Tobin is staring at the wall smiling as she envisions it. 

“You know,” Kate begins, “it would be much more satisfying it if you built it yourself.” 

“I don’t know how to do any of that, though.” Tobin stares at her. “Or where I could.”

“I could show you,” Kate replies shyly. 

“Yeah, you could,” Tobin says softly, smiling. “I’d really like that.” 

“Good!” Kate straightens up. “Sketch it out, measure your wall and we can go from there. We can build it in my shed, take it apart and assemble it here.” 

“Assemble what?” Allie asks as she sits down next to Tobin. 

“Oh, I was thinking about maybe putting some shelves up on the wall,” Tobin says vaguely. She wants to keep this project with Kate to herself. 

“Cool,” Allie replies, eying the two of them who are smiling at each other. “It’s about time you did something to give this place some character.” She sniffs. 

“It has character!” Tobin argues, laughing, “it just doesn’t have shelves.” 

“We’re heading out!” Kling calls as she grabs Brittani’s hand. 

“Thanks for a great dinner!” Brittani says. 

Kate gets up from the recliner. She notices Tobin wince as she gets up from the couch. 

Hugs are exchanged as Sinc and Allie leave with them. They tell her they’re looking for to next week and to let them know what they can bring. 

“Do you guys eat red meat in season?” she asks. 

“Not a lot.” Sinc shrugs, “but I love a good steak.” The others nod in agreement. 

“Plan your diets accordingly then,” Kate says. “We’ll have a hunk of beef. Consider it your cheat meal.” 

“Nice!” Brit says. “Bailey told me you’re a great cook!” 

Kate nods. “I know my way around the kitchen. High cooking is my favorite thing to do!” she teases looking at Tobin. 

Tobin blushes as she shuts the door after the laughing group.

“About that,” she begins. “we use it for recovery but the league and National Team really keep it on the down low. They don’t want it to get out because it could send a wrong message.” 

“Tobin,” Kate says as she sits on the couch. “I’m not judging. I use it too.” She says. “In fact, I have a medical card. With job stress and my own anxiety issues, I’m glad. The fact that cops can now legally partake is awesome. I’d much rather light up or take an edible than be on pills.” 

“Well,” Tobin grins slyly, ”speaking of which, you wanna chill a little more?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” Kate says as she gets up. “Wanna try some of my shit?” 

Tobin grins. “Absolutely.” 

They’re back on the couch after being on the patio for awhile. Tobin sitting so close to Kate their legs are touching. They're giggling as they recall the dinner table moments. That leads to a conversation about the best items to cook and eat while stoned. 

“So,” Tobin says seriously. “You referred to your parents and brother in the past tense. Are they gone?”

“Yeah,” Kate nods. “I mentioned my Mom. But my brother Evan died first.” she says. “My senior year of college, he got pneumonia real bad. I was able to get home to say goodbye.” 

“I’m sorry.” Tobin says as she nudges Kate’s leg.

“My Mom,” Kate sighs, “my Mom lived for Evan. Don’t get me wrong, she loved all of us, but he, he was just so special Tobin. I swear, looking in his eyes was like seeing the love of God. It was so perfect, and true and unconditional.” 

Kate is quiet for a moment. Tobin waits. 

“I think she died of a broken heart. She passed away in her sleep about a month after. I was in Arizona, Jake was already out here and my Dad, he just couldn’t wake her up one morning.” Tears are shimmering in her eyes. 

She glances at Tobin and sees her eyes are a little wet.

“I can’t even imagine the pain you felt.” Tobin says quietly. 

“It was hard, so hard,” Kate sniffs a little, “but that two week trip to Alaska that summer was really something.” She smiles as tears spill down her cheeks. 

“My Dad was a great father,” she continues, “he worked a lot and wasn’t around all of the time but I never doubted his love. He flew across the country to come to as many games as he could.” She pauses. “He died that New Year’s Eve at a party with his friends. Jake and I had just left after spending Christmas with him. Aneurysm. Dead before he hit the floor.” 

Tobin grabs her hand and squeezes. “Kate,” her voice wavers. 

Suddenly Samson’s massive head is on Kate lap. “I’m okay Sammy,” she says as she reaches out and pets his head. Samson nudges Tobin leg and she pets him. 

“He’s a good dog.” Tobin comments regaining her composure. 

“Yeah, I love this furball,” Kate leans forward and hugs his head. “Go chill Sammy.” 

Samson decides to chill at their feet. 

“Kate,” Tobin begins quietly, “I, uh, I really like you.” 

Kate eyes Tobin, “I like you too. Like, a lot.”

“Would it be bad,” Tobin moves closer to Kate drawing their faces near, “if I kissed you?”

“No,” Kate breathes out as she leans in. Their lips meet and softly press together. Kate feels Tobin’s tongue gently seek permission and she reciprocates. It’s soft and almost lazy, relaxed and so natural. 

They draw back smiling at each other. 

“I know I have a ways to go before I can consider a relationship,” Tobin states, “everything with Allison and all, but I’d really like to, maybe see if something could work between us? I mean, I swear I'm not looking to just jump into bed or anything. I really like you.”

Kate smiles. “yeah, I’d like that,” she leans in and they kiss again. Her hand lightly skimming along Tobin’s arm. “I think we both need some time so we can take this slow.”

They break apart smiling. As Tobin looks at Kate she sees how Kate’s smile fades into seriousness. 

“Tobin, I have something to tell you and I’m scared it might change the way you think about me.” Kate’s voice is wavering, her lower lip trembling.


	15. Confession & Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate tells Tobin the truth about Allison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short update. I felt like a dick doing a cliffhanger last chapter but it felt like a natural place to stop. Sorry. 
> 
> FYI so I don't get busted again- they're not going to hook up. Yet. Or maybe. 
> 
> OAN:  
> Was it just me or did Norway have possession for almost the entire first half? The girls looked a little shaky. Happy for Press though. I think she's just getting started to having a great season with the Red Stars. What do you think?

“Tobin, I have something to tell you and I’m scared it might change the way you think about me.” Kate’s voice is wavering, her lower lip trembling. 

Tobin arches her eyebrows as she looks at Kate, contemplating her response. She shifts to the side so she’s facing Kate, knees touching and slowly takes both of her hands in hers.   
“I know we haven’t known each other for long but,” she pauses and smiles, “I don’t think there is anything that can change my opinion of you.” She cocks her head sideways, “please tell me what’s bothering you?”

Kate swallows and nods her head. She straightens up a little and squeezes Tobin’s hands. 

“I knew Allison.” She states firmly. Voice strong and back in control. “I’ve known her for years. We played softball together, hung out.” She pauses. “She was a good friend.” 

“I…” Tobin’s voice trails off. She clears her throat. “I don’t know what to say.” She says quietly. 

“I’ll go,” Kate says quickly lifting herself from the couch. 

“No!” Tobin says not letting go of her hands and pulling her back down. “I mean, I don’t know what to say, that is so awful for you.” 

Kate is looking at her. Tears threatening to spill at any moment. 

“I don’t think any different of you.” Tobin speaks slowly, her voice low. “I feel terrible that on top of getting shot and having concussion issues, you need to mourn the loss of a friend who did something unimaginable.” 

“I’ve wanted to tell you sooner, but there hasn’t been a good time.” Kate sniffs, “The press haven’t made the connection yet but I wanted you to know before it ever got out. I mean, if it does. I wouldn’t want you finding out that way.” She pauses. “Her wake was tonight.”

“It’s been tearing me up. It’s part of my nightmares. I feel so guilty that I never saw any indication she was doing this. For her to take you and do those horrible things to you…” she pauses struggling to hold back her tears. “She took those kids! How could she? I didn’t even know she was gay. She always talked about guys and checked them out. I think she even told us about one she was dating. I…” she slumps forward with her head in her hands. Her shoulders heaving as she cries. “I should have known!”

Tobin lightly grabs Kate’s wrist rubbing her thumb along it as she rubs her back. They sit there for a while, Samson back nudging his way to put his head on Kate’s lap. 

“Come here,” Tobin softly commands as she moves Kate forward so her head is resting in her lap. She continues rubbing Kate’s back. 

“I’m so sorry,” Kate sobs. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Tobin comforts. 

“I should’ve known!” Kate’s sobbing harder.  
“You couldn’t have. No one did,” Tobin says softly. Kate continues crying. Samson eying them both carefully. He puts his head near Kate. Tobin slowly rubs his thick coat. 

Tobin lets Kate cry. She doesn’t say anything. She holds her on her lap, tracing patterns softly on her back and rubbing small circles on the back of her hand with her thumb. Kate’s sobs slowly leave her, her breath hitching occasionally as she tries to calm down. As her breathing returns to normal, Tobin feels Kate’s body relax against hers. Just as she’s wondering if Kate has fallen asleep, she speaks. 

“How can you be so understanding?” her voice is nasal.

Kate carefully shifts so she is stretched out on the couch with her head in Tobin’s lap. 

Tobin contemplates her answer. She looks down at Kate as she brings her right hand to her hairline. She slowly traces around her scar. She gives her a small smile as she runs her hand through her hair.

“The Portland Thorns are a class act organization,” she begins, “nobody ever had a problem with Allison. We went out socially, they travelled with us, the training crew saw us at our worst times. No one, I mean no one,” she emphasizes, “ever doubted her professional ability nor thought her as being off.” 

She clears her throat. “I’ve been on some teams where some staff members gave me the willies and eventually something happened and they were gone.” She stops a moment. “I really liked Allison. She seemed like a nice person, always level headed, never panicking about injuries or issues. You could talk to her and she would listen.” 

She looks away for a moment and then back down into Kate’s blue eyes. “I don’t know much about being a cop.” She smiles. “But I have to think you’re a pretty good one if you’re already a Sergeant. So, if you had no clue, my staff had no clue, well, it’s just going to be one of those things we’ll never understand. I mean, Allison was smart, like, really smart. She knew about so many things and how to do stuff.” She shakes her head. 

“Maybe one day I can forgive her for what she did to me. It was awful. The worst pain I’ve ever felt. I’ve never been so scared.” Her voice shakes. “I hope to be good enough to forgive her.” 

A trail of a couple tears spill down Tobin’s face. “This terrible, horrific event was something I would never wish on anyone.” Her voice trembles. “But I’d do it again if I knew that meant meeting you. I know we’ve only know each other for a few weeks but,” she pauses and wipes her eyes, “there’s something here. Between us. I can’t explain it. I can’t label it. I feel so calm and at ease around you.” She looks Kate directly in the eyes, “I want to be around you all of the time.” 

Kate is fighting back tears again. A slow, soft smile spreads across her face. Then she gets up from the couch. 

Tobin is looking at her a bewildered. What is going on? She wonders. 

Kate slowly grasps Tobin’s hands and pull her up from the couch. 

“I’d really like to hug you,” she whispers as she draws Tobin into her arms. She’s a little taller than Tobin so she rests her chin on her shoulder. “Thank you.” She says quietly. “You have a calming effect on me as well. It’s as if we’ve known each other forever. I can’t explain it. I can’t label it either. But I know I really, really like it.” 

She pulls back and looks at Tobin. “I’m so glad you don’t hate me or anything. I guess my Irish Catholic guilt was getting the better of me.” 

“You’re Catholic?” Tobin asks. 

Kate nods. 

“That’s a deal breaker,” Tobin smirks as she pulls Kate in close. Their bodies are tight together, Kate making sure she wasn’t hurting Tobin’s stomach. Tobin leans in for a kiss. It’s slow and sensual and Tobin feels like she’s never kissed anyone quite like this. She thinks they’re communicating to each other in this kiss. It doesn’t escalate to sloppiness or over eagerness but, there’s a hunger underlying it. There’s a hint of passion, just waiting to be unleashed. 

They pull back and both stand there blinking at each other. 

“Woah,” Kate grins. Her head is spinning in a good way. There’s something solid here, she just knows it. 

“Yeah, woah,” Tobin smiles in agreement. 

Kate looks down at her watch. “I should get going.” 

“So soon?” Tobin looks at her. 

“Tobin, it’s nearly one o’clock!” she laughs. 

Tobin grabs her hand. “Stay?”

Kate bites her lip. Should she do this, she wonders. She is tired. It’s about a twenty minute ride to her place. 

“Please?” Tobin asks shyly. 

“I have to take Samson out,” She says, “but, yes, I will.”

Tobin smiles. “If it’s a short walk, I’ll come too.” 

“You don’t have to,” Kate argues.

“It’s almost one o’clock. I won’t have you roaming the streets of Portland by yourself.” Tobin says firmly as she grabs her crutches. She starts moving to the door. “Come on Samson,” she says, “let’s go outside.” 

 

Samson gets up looking at Tobin and then Kate. He hurries to Tobin’s side as she bends over a little to leash him up. 

She turns and looks at Kate, “you coming or are you gonna stand there like a creep?” she smirks.

Kate shakes her head as she reaches into her backpack to grab a plastic bag. She strides over to Tobin, gives her a quick kiss on the cheek and says “You’re something else, you know?” she pets Samson’s shaggy head. “You are too, traitor.” 

She takes the leash from Tobin’s hand grinning at her. 

“Ready?” Tobin asks, giving Kate a quick kiss on the lips. 

“Yeah,” Kate smiles, “let’s go.”


	16. Morning To Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does the morning after bring to Tobin and Kate? Tobin visits Kate's place and we learn a little more about Kate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I suck at chapter summaries. Forgive me. Still mourning he thought of not seeing Tobin play this summer. Hope she'll be back to playoffs, but.....
> 
> Thanks to you all for the kudos comments and sticking around for this adventure. I really do appreciate being able to here your feedback. It's my first fanfic so I try not to be overly sensitive. Like I said earlier, it's fun to hear your thoughts on this as I'm a few chapters ahead. Hope you enjoy.

Kate awakes to feeling an arm on her back. An arm? Who’s arm, she wonders. Her memory goes to last night. Tobin. Stayed way too late. Slept over. It’s a nice arm, not too heavy, fingers splayed out. Our feet are a little tangled here, she thinks. Did we? No. No, we did not. I have clothes on. God, I want to. I will wait for as long as I need until she is ready for that, Kate thinks. But would she be into to me? She’s kissed me, I think she is a little into me. I should get out of here. Is this too fast? I mean, nothing happened last night but, is it too early for sleepovers? We slept. We’re adults, who cares. 

Should I stay for breakfast? She continues her inner monologue, yeah, I’m starving. Got to walk Samson. He was a good boy, then again, he usually is. He’d be in here if he really needed to go out. I wonder what she’s doing today? So was so cool and understanding about Allison. How could she be? How would I feel if I was attacked, met a cool person and then learned they were friends with my attacker? That’s hard to get your head wrapped around. She seemed really sincere. She seems sincere all the time. She comes across as one really in touch with their emotions, super understanding and very open minded. She sighs. I’m still a little tired, I’ll just wait for her to wake up. She inches a little closer to Tobin and snuggles a little deeper under the covers.

Tobin feels Kate move a little closer and sigh as she pulls the covers around herself. She smiles a little. Last night was awesome. Dinner was fun, the girls were great for giving us some alone time. Kate seemed relaxed and mixed right in with everyone. She’s so cool. Laid back. But strong. God, what she’s gone through. Losing her parents and her brother. I can’t even imagine the sense of loss. But she seems with it, she acknowledges it and can speak of it without losing it too bad. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost my Mom or brother. 

What about Dad? Well, technically, I did lose him and he’s still alive. That’s all on him, though. 

She sighs as she thinks about her father. She hasn’t yet spoken with him since everything happened. He’s been distant before. Her as well. They struggle to communicate. It seems they are rarely on the same page. She figures she has a healthy amount of Daddy issues but nothing ridiculous. She loves him. She knows he loves her. She also knows he has trouble accepting her sexuality. 

She hears Kate’s breathing change a little and wonders if she’s awake. She slowly to starts to lightly rub her back. 

“Don’t stop,” Kate moans. 

“I won’t,” Tobin grins. She gets a little turned on by the moan.She shifts a little so she can face Kate. 

Kate turns her head to face Tobin, “Good morning,” she croaks out. 

“Morning,” Tobin grins. She is so beautiful, she thinks. 

“Feed me.” Kate commands grinning. 

“Sure,” Tobin smiles. 

“Actually, how I run and let Samson out real quick and we can make breakfast together?” Kate proposes as she moves out from under the covers. 

“Sounds good,” Tobin says as she moves from the bed. 

Kate uses the second bathroom and quickly puts in her contacts, washes her face and brushes her teeth with the toothbrush Tobin gave her. She also had given her contact solution and a case. 

Tobin is coming out from her bedroom and they meet in the hall as Kate is clipping Samson’s leash around his collar. 

“Uh, should I take your keys?” she asks. 

“Oh! Right, here.” Tobin hands them over. “It’s the red one.” 

“Got it!” Kate opens the door and grabs her sunglasses, “be back in a few!” 

As Kate strolled along with for Samson she considers her plan. Have breakfast, see what Tobin is doing tonight and get back home. What she didn’t consider was bumping into Kling and Brittani as they were walking out of the building. 

“Good morning!” Brittani greets loudly. 

“Hey,” Kate responds, eying them. 

“And how are you this fine morning?” Kling grins. 

She looks at them. “Listen, it was after one o’clock when we realized the time so I just stayed over instead of going home.” 

“Okay,” Brit puts her hands up, “I surrender.” 

“Listen, I think Tobin is really special. I do. But she’s been through a lot. And so have I lately. So, whatever there might be happening must be slow. I’m not going to push her for anything. If she wants to take things further, I go at her pace. Anyway, I’m enjoying being her friend. She’s cool.” Kate explains. May as well be upfront with these guys, she figures. They’ve got Tobin’s back and certainly don’t want to see her get hurt. I know how friends and teammates are. 

Kling looks up from petting Samson. “I’m glad you said that,” she says. “Did you tell her you knew Allison?”

Kate take a step back. “How did-“ 

“I did some research on you.” Kling admits. “I saw how into each other you guys are. I’ve only met you a couple of times and in my head I’ve built you up as this badass, super hero cop. I wanted to learn more.” 

Kate doesn’t know what to say. Fucking kudos to you, Kling, for doing that, she thinks.

“And do I live up to those expectations?” Kate asks quietly. 

“You exceed them,” Kling says as she hugs her. “I know Tobin is in good hands with you. I trust you. From what Bailey was telling us last-ow!” she’s rubbing her side from Brittani’s elbow. 

Kate merely raises her eyebrows at the two. 

“Okay, so we had some questions and Bailey is our inside man.” Brittani admits. “But we found most of what we were looking for online. She just filled in some details.” 

Kate nods. She takes a deep breath. “Tobin and I spoke about Allison last night, I am amazed at her level of compassion and understanding. She is one strong woman.” 

“Listen,” Kling says placing her hand on Kate’s forearm, “Tobin internalizes, she thinks about things for a long time. In college, people thought she was slow or something because she didn’t say much. She just takes it all in and processes it in her own, unique way.” 

Kate wonders where this is going. 

“She can be an ass. Stubborn. I’ve never met anyone so quiet.” Kling clears her throat. “What I’m trying to say though, is that she is worth it. She’s a great person, quirky, but I’ve never met someone so dependable, kind, generous, then her. She’s worth your wait, if that’s what you want.” 

This is too early to process, Kate thinks. 

“We like you, Kate,” Brit says warmly, a slow smile spreading across her face. “If Tobin gets to being an ass with you, let us know. We’ll help knock her back in line.” 

“Thanks,” is all Kate can squeak out. 

They both hug her quickly and declare they must eat breakfast and disappear from her sight. 

Shaking her head, Kate makes her way back to Tobin’s place. She unclips Sammy’s leash, coils it up and drops it the side table and put the keys in the basket Tobin had taken them from. 

As she walks into the kitchen, Tobin is retrieving eggs from her fridge. “Hey! You’re back!” she smiles. 

“Yeah,” Kate nods. 

Tobin looks up. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, I’m good.” Kate gives her a smile that she’s sure comes across as a grimace. 

Tobin just stares at her. “Please tell me what’s bothering you,” she says so quietly, Kate thinks she might have imagined it. 

She clears her throat, “I, uh, I ran into Kling and Brittani on our walk.” 

Eyes wide and mouth open, Tobin drops the egg in her hand. She grabs a paper towel, bends down and loses her balance. Watching her hand desperately slide off the counter, Kate jumps forward and hooks her arms under Tobin’s. She pulls them up together, bodies close. She sees Tobin wincing in pain and breathing hard.

“What’s wrong?” Kate’s alarmed. 

“Stomach,” Tobin breathes out. Tears spilling from her scrunched shut eyes. 

“Okay, I got you,” Kate says as she swivels them to face the island. “Stick your left hand out and feel the counter. Get your balance back.” Kate instructs. 

Tobin ‘s hand shoots out and thumps on the countertop. 

“I just need,” she breathes out, “a minute.” Eyes still closed, brow furrowed in pain. 

“Your abs or the wound?” Kate asks quietly. 

“Wound.” Tobin breathes. Her chest is heaving with deep breaths.

“Do you think it’s bleeding?” 

“Don’t,” Tobin pauses for a breath, “know.” 

“Okay, just stay right there for a minute and catch your breath. Can you stand on your own?” Kate asks. 

Tobin nods. 

“I’ll be right back,” Kate says as she trots to Tobin’s room and retrieves her crutches. 

As she comes back to the kitchen she sees Samson licking the egg up. She thinks about yelling at him but decides to not add anymore drama to the situation. 

“Here,” she offers Tobin the crutches. 

“Thanks,” Tobin says. Her breathing is slowing but she’s wincing with every breath. 

Grabbing the forgotten paper towel from the floor, she quickly wipes up the eggshells and any remaining egg remnants and tosses it in the trash. 

“Can I see?” Kate wonders. “To make sure it’s not bleeding?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says as she spreads her arms to the side, crutch tips on the floor for balance. 

Kate slowly and carefully pulls Tobin’s t-shirt up, rolling it as she does. She stops just below her breasts and looks at the wound. The lower portion of the wound is fiery red but not bleeding. Everything else is healing nicely, but this band just catches the top portion of Tobin’s abdominals so it gets the most movement. 

Kate is squinting and chewing on the inside of her cheek as she examines it. That looks like it really fucking hurts, she thinks. Holy fuck, those abs! I want to run my tongue down-

“What do you think, Doctor?” Tobin asks quietly with a hint of a grin. 

“Well, it didn’t break open, thank goodness.” Kate says, eying the wound carefully. “No signs of infections but, it looks like you might have scraped it a bit.” 

“So, I’ll live?” Tobin is now smiling at Kate as she straightens up and unrolls Tobin’s shirt down. 

“Yeah,” Kate says roughly. She points. “Go sit. I don’t trust you in the kitchen right now.”

Tobin takes in a breath as if she was about to say something but them simply nods and crutches over to the barstool across from her.  
Kate starts organizing the food Tobin had placed on the counter. 

“Um, do you think you might want to take a pain pill?” she asks quietly. 

“Yeah, I’ll grab one in a little bit,” Tobin replies. 

“Nonsense. Where do you keep them?” Kate demands. 

Tobin just looks at her, resisting rolling her eyes at her, “Medicine cabinet in my bathroom. Norco.” 

Kate spins away and walks towards Tobin’s room, “Don’t you roll your eyes at me, girlie!” Laughing, Kate returns, drops the pill in Tobin’s hand and retrieves a water bottle from the fridge and hands it to her. 

“Thanks,” Tobin says quietly. 

“It’s alright,” Kate replies just as quietly giving Tobin a genuine smile. 

“So, what are you thinking of doing with all of this stuff?” she asks. 

Tobin laughs a little, “I wasn’t sure what you’d like so I just got everything I could think of,”

Kate shakes her head as she eyes the counter. “How about a skillet?”

“Sure, fine by me.” Tobin says. She gets up and crutches around the island. 

“I wouldn’t mind making this, ya know,” Kate bumps her shoulder. 

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Tobin laughs. “How about I start some coffee?” 

“Alright, you may perform that task and then sit down.” Kate waves her hand. 

Thirty minutes later as Kate slides a plate in front of Tobin, she glances at it and then says, “So, um, earlier, you kind of mentioned you saw some um, people we both know on your walk with Samson.”

“That I did,” Kate replies with an impish grin as she sips her coffee. 

“So, uh, did they, um, have anything to say?” Tobin asks, eyes downcast studying her plate of food. 

Kate hears Tobin’s foot thumping, hitting the leg of the barstool. Not realizing Tobin would be so nervous about it, she decides to stop playing coy. 

“So, they researched me, interrogated Bailey and gave me their blessing to be your friend.” She says as she starts forking her food. 

“That’s it?” Tobin asks. “What are you hiding?” she squints. 

“Kling may have learned I knew Allison and wanted to know if you knew.” She sees Tobin’s hand curl into a fist. She reaches across and uncurls it and hold her hand, giving it a squeeze. 

“It’s cool.” She says reassuringly, “I get it. They’re good friends to you Tobin. I’m not bothered by it.” She retracts her hand and takes a sip of coffee.

“Yeah but…” Tobin’s voice trails off as she looks away. 

Kate eats some food and waits. And waits. 

“Will you please eat before it gets cold?” Kate asks her softly. 

Tobin gives her a smile. A genuine smile. “Yeah, sorry,” she shakes her head, “I zoned out. Norco on an empty stomach.” She picks her fork up and digs in. 

They eat silently for a few minutes. Kate can tell Tobin is still distracted by the morning ambush. She feels like Tobin is trying to process it and the implications but struggling to find the right words to express herself. 

“Hey,” Kate puts her hand on Tobin’s, “it’s alright. I’m glad they’ve got your back. They were sort of cute in their fumbling way.” She smiles. “But if Kling could find my knowing Allison out, I guarantee you the media will. You might want to talk to your agent and Thorns PR staff. Be prepared. I’d hate to see you get ambushed because of me.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says distractedly. 

“This is good coffee,” Kate comments hoping to lead Tobin out of her inner monologue. 

“Oh, thanks, there’s this cool coffee place I like and they sell their beans,” she says. Kate studies Tobin’s eyes as she speaks. It’s like a light switch, she thinks. Blink, and she’s back.  


So, she thinks, give her time, diffuse, redirect and circle back to it later. 

“I usually drink tea, so this is a nice treat,” Kate comments. 

“Oh, shit!” Tobin exclaims. “I should have remembered, you like tea! I’ve got tea! You want tea instead?” she’s pushing her chair out and scrambling for her crutches. 

“No, I’m good, really!” Kate laughs, “I’d ask if I wanted tea that badly.” 

Tobin sits back down looking at her unconvinced.

She holds her mug up, “This is good and we’re good, alright?” 

“You’re sure? Because I can tell them to back off,” Tobin says. 

“It’s fine.” Kate smiles. “Just wait until you meet my friends.” She wiggles her eyebrows. 

Tobin laughs. “Yeah, okay then,” she says. Kate sees Tobin’s shoulders relax as she slouches over her plate finishing up the remaining skillet. “This was delicious, thanks,” she says. 

“My pleasure,” Kate says. “I really like your sauté pan.” 

“Yeah, that’s one of my favorites!” Tobin’s eye light up. 

They enter a spirited discussion of the pros and cons of stainless steel, non-stick and copper clad cookware as they finish their breakfast and do their dishes. 

They’re waiting on Kate’s Uber standing in the hallway. Tobin is petting Samson. 

“What are your plans for the day?” Kate asks. The Thorns have a home game tonight and she’s wondering what Tobin will be doing. 

“Well, it’s game day, so I want to watch that,” Tobin says as she scratches her arm. “No therapy today, so nothing else.” 

“Are you going to Providence Park?” Kate’s curious. 

Tobin shakes her head. “I think it’s a little too early for public appearances. I think I’ll just stay home,” sadness tinging her voice. 

“Wanna come watch it at my place?” Kate asks. 

“Yeah?” Tobin’s eyebrows shoot up. 

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve got to feed Samson, and do some stuff but how about you come over for the game and we’ll eat. It’s at five o’clock, right?” She says. 

“Well, if you’re cool with it, I mean I, like, really, watch the game.” Her foot twitches just a little. 

“Duh, it’s your job!” Kate laughs. “I get it. Bring a notebook if you need to take notes or something. Don’t worry.” She tries to stop herself but can’t. She leans in for a hug and lightly rubs her nose along Tobin’s neck, “I’ll be on my best behavior not to distract you.” 

Pulling out from the hug she can see the flush creep up on Tobin’s face and neck. 

Tobin clears her throat and smiles. “You’re on!” 

“Come early if you can and we’ll take a short crutch.” Kate jokes. 

“I’ll text you when I’m on my way.’ She grins. 

“I’ll text you my address!” Kate laughs. Her phone goes off and Tobin leans in and kisses her lightly. 

“I’ll see ya later.” 

Kate had texted Tobin her address along with some directional cues so the driver wouldn’t get lost. She was a ways out from the town and Tobin wasn’t sure what to expect when she arrived. As the car travelled up the winding blacktop driveway, Tobin took in the view. Holy shit, this place is huge, she thinks. 

The house was a one level ranch, sprawling wide across the green lawn. It had interesting lines and angles which reminded Tobin of a certain type of architecture but she couldn’t put her finger on it. A few of the front windows had stained glass that gave it a classier old look. The front porch extended across the width of the house and she guessed it faced west for the sunsets. 

As the car slows, Tobin unbuckles her seatbelt. She thanks the driver and grabs her crutches and backpack and exits the vehicle. She doesn’t see a car in the driveway but one of those ATVs that look more like a tricked out golf cart and a beautiful deep red Harley Davidson motorcycle with high handlebars and black saddlebags. 

She crutches up the five stairs to the porch and knocks on the screen door. Sammy is there in seconds dog talking to her in greeting. 

“Hi Sammy,” she grins.

“Hey, you!” Kate calls out as she approaches the door. She’s wearing a Red Stars t-shirt and a pair of short tan shorts. Barefoot. 

“Hey,” she greets as Kate opens the door for her. Cocking an eyebrow up at her. “Really?” she says looking at her shirt.  


“Kate smiles and shrugs.

They share a soft hug and Tobin kisses her cheek. She looks around and sees wood. She figures they are in the living room and she notices Kate has a side table near the door similar to hers. She notices a deep brown leather couch with two matching side chairs around a wood and glass coffee table. Tiffany style lamps are on the end tables and a standing one in the right far corner. Next to it sits a beautiful baby grand piano. 

She’s drawn to the artwork on the wall to her right, squinting, she can’t decipher what she is seeing. 

“What are those?” she questions unconsciously taking a step towards the wall. 

“Oh,” Kate says. “The middle one is the blueprint to this house and the others are copies of my favorite ones of Frank Lloyd Wright.” She seems a little embarrassed, Tobin thinks. 

“That’s so cool,” Tobin’s voice is low and has a hint of wonder to it. 

She looks sharply at the other wall. Three large photos or paintings hang here. Of homes. The center one looks familiar. “Are these photos of those homes?” she smiles. 

“Yeah,” Kate says quietly as she smiles back at Tobin. 

They stare at each other for a moment and then Tobin hears a noise coming from further in the house. She looks at Kate questioningly. 

“My brother’s here, want to meet him?” Kate asks brightly, her quiet demeanor gone. 

“Absolutely!” Tobin grins. 

“Drop your pack here and let’s go,” she cocks her head. 

Tobin shrugs off the pack, places it on the floor and crutches along to follow her. A hallway leads off to the left and one goes straight back. They take the straight one which leads to the open kitchen with an island, a large table behind it and further back a cozy sofa, loveseat, recliner and angled around a coffee table.

There is a very large, intimidating looking man sitting at the island. He stands up. He’s bald, has a wild long goatee and is huge. As soon as he looks at Tobin, his face breaks out in a kind smile and his eyes light up. 

“Tobin Heath?” he asks. His voice has the same cadence and calmness as Kate’s. It’s like a masculine version of it. 

She nods. “Yes, sir,” she grins as she crutches towards him. He looks familiar but Tobin can’t place where she might have met him before. 

He reaches out to shake her hand and with his left hand he gently holds her outstretched forearm. “I’m very pleased to meet you.” He smiles. “I’m Jake, Kate’s older and wiser brother.”

“Nice to meet you.” Tobin sees such a resemblance in the two. She glances at Kate. Kate is smiling ear to ear. 

“I’m heading out. Wish I could stay longer, but I've got to get going.” Jake announces as he gives Kate a side hug. “Tobin, don’t let this one piss you off tonight cheering for the Red Stars.” 

“Why would you do that?” Tobin asks, eyes wide.

“I tend to stick with Chicago teams, sorry.” Kate smirks as she shrugs. 

“Oh, it’s on!” Tobin grins. “My Thorns are gonna crush them!” 

“That’s only if they can get through our defense.” Kate says smugly, crossing her arms. 

“That’s my cue to leave,” Jake laughs. “Tobin, nice meeting you, I hope to see you around.” He says as he exits. 

The two girls are in a standoff, smirking at each other as grins slowly spread across their faces. 

“Come on, let me show you around.” Kate says. “So obviously, this is the kitchen and that’s the family room,” Kate directs. They hear the motorcycle roar to life and take off.

Tobin slowly views the kitchen, it’s large with the island. The island has a deep and wide sink and on the back wall is a long counter for food prep. The stove looks commercial quality, sleek stainless steel. The refrigerator is stainless as well. A large window overlooks a grassy area.

She crutches over to the family room area and surveys it. She’s noticed throughout the house the walls were a sandy tan color and it runs into the wall the large flatscreen is mounted on. More Tiffany style lamps provide soft lighting, with recessed lights in the ceiling. To her left, the back wall is made of stone and tan concrete with parts of stones jutting out slightly. The wall is angled into the room a little and higher up, smooth stone provides shelves for a scattering of framed photos. The wall is lit by intricate metal lights casting neat shadows. French doors lead out to a deck area on the third wall. 

This is so homey, Tobin thinks. 

“This is amazing, Kate,” Tobin murmurs as she turns to face her. 

“Thanks,” she says quietly. “Uh,” she looks over her shoulder, “guest rooms are down this hallway and the master is down the hallway off the front room.”

Tobin grins at her. “What is a fronchroom?” 

Kate laughs. It’s musical to Tobin’s ears. “It’s a Chicago thing, I guess. It would be the living room for you heathens.” 

Tobin grins as she nods. 

“So, wanna take a cruise around the property?” Kate says as she looks down at her watch.

“Yeah, sounds good to me.” Tobin agrees. 

Kate grabs two bottles of water from the fridge, slips on her sunglasses and a pair of flip flops and leads Tobin to the French doors. Sammy follows as they walk across the deck and go down five stairs to the driveway. He lays down on the deck.

“We’re taking this?” Tobin grins. 

“Yep!” Kate smiles. She opens the passenger door for Tobin and sticks her hand out for the crutches. Tobin slowly gets in, there’s plenty of room and she’s able to sit comfortably. Kate shoves the crutches on the floor of the back seats and comes around to the driver’s side. 

“Now, we’re just cruising, not mudding, so don’t worry.” Kate says as she puts on a hat and pushes her shades up on her nose. 

She keys the ignition and glances at Tobin. “You ready?” she smirks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin answers.  


“Hang on,” Kate grins. "I've been told I have a lead foot."

Tobin grabs the handle on the roll cage as Kate punches the accelerator. They fly over the grass, which is smooth and soft like a soccer pitch and head towards the tree line. As she approaches it, she slows down to about fifteen miles an hour. 

“So, Jake and I made these trails after I was here about two years. We kept it natural grass so I can just mow them.” She says, cruising along. 

“This is really awesome!” Tobin smiles. She can’t stop smiling. She’s happy. She didn’t know what to expect but, this, this is amazing. It occurs to her that Kate must have some money if she has a property like this. You couldn’t afford this on a cop’s salary, she thinks. Even five years ago the real estate market was thriving in Oregon and Tobin has been kicking herself for not buying a place of her own. She reasons that her nomadic ways were still dominant and the future uncertain with the NWSL back then. She didn’t know where she’d end up. She went and played for PSG overseas and considered repeating that until she was heavily coerced by Jill not to. 

She makes decent money for doing what she loves and her endorsements are picking up. She remembers taking a financial course her church held years ago and that got her interested in finance. She always been very careful about with her money and how she marketed herself. She only endorses products she personally uses, and really likes to deal with smaller companies. She shies away from corporations when she can, but sometimes, the money is just too good. So she vets them just as carefully as they vet her and she makes sure her agent and lawyer approve all contracts. 

But still, she thinks, this place is awesome. 

They’re approaching a small rise and as they crest it, a shimmering lake appears. Kate drives along to a small dock that has a dingy tied up and lazily bobbing in the water.

She cuts the engine. 

Tobin can’t speak. 

“Peaceful, huh?” Kate nudges Tobin’s shoulder. 

“It’s wonderful!” Tobin breathes. 

“So, this is where I’ll kick your ass at the fishing derby,” Kate smirks. 

“I’m looking forward to it,” Tobin grins. 

Kate shifts the ATV into gear, “Let’s go!” 

She does a quick turn that has Tobin hanging on for dear life and speeds back through the woods. Soon they pull up to a large out building that has two massive rolling doors at the front. Kate gets out and moves to the passenger side waiting with Tobin’s crutches. 

“So this is my workshop, slash garage, slash band room and whatever else.” She explains as she unlocks a side door. 

They enter and wait for their eyes to adjust to the dimness of the space. Tobin sees a bright yellow SUV, and sleek black sporty car and another ATV. A small tractor is off to one side. Next to the tractor, the wall is lined with lockers of varying sizes. Further back, there’s a divider wall that separates the width of the back wall. On the right she sees a large worktable and on the shorter side walls are different types of saws and machines. 

“That’s my wood shop,” Kate points. She moves to the other side, “this is where the band I’m in practices.” Tobin crutches towards it to get a better look. 

One wall has multiple guitars hanging on it, the back wall has a riser with a drum set on it, amplifiers are scattered around with microphones and mics. There’s an upright piano facing out from the other wall and a long table littered with other musical instruments. 

“What do you play?” Tobin asks quietly. 

“Guitar and piano,” Kate replies just as quietly. “I sing a little too,” 

Tobin nods slowly. 

“Game time is coming up, do you need anything from the house?” Kate asks. 

“I think I’m good,” Tobin smiles. 

“No notebook or anything?” Kate smirks. 

“Don’t need notes for a win!” Tobin smirks back. 

“Good, let’s watch the game in the pavilion, yeah?” Kate smiles. 

“You lead, I’ll follow.” Tobin shrugs. She has her own pavilion, Tobin thinks. I think she might be out of my league. She shakes her head. “Your place is incredible,” she says. 

Kate gives her a warm smile, “I saved the best for last. This is my woman cave.” 

Back in the ATV, they cross the lawn to another outbuilding. She parks next to a side door and unlocks it. She flicks a switch as they enter and leads Tobin through an open area that has long wood tables with benches on each side. It reminds Tobin of some of the beer gardens she’s been to in Germany. As she scans the room, she realizes there are ten tables that easily fit twenty people each. She stops crutching and studies her surroundings. She guesses the whole building is about seventy feet wide and maybe two hundred feet long. The ceiling has wood panels with intricate wooden arches. Chromed chandeliers hang down over the tables and cast a low amber light. Beer signs, group photos and Chicago sports team logos are carefully arranged along the walls. 

Kate leads her to a waffled wall and when she pulls it back Tobin’s mouth drops open. A huge screen fills the back wall on the left side with three long couches in front of it, elevated movie theater style. An additional couch is along the left wall with some side chairs and tables scattered about. 

The room gets brighter as Kate adjusts the lights and now Tobin can see additional flatscreen TVs surrounding the main one. Then she notices the memorabilia. 

The left wall has framed jerseys under glass. Shelves are sporadically placed holding mementos. Tobin crutches over to view them closer. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Kate asks as she moves away from Tobin. 

Tobin glances at her, “Water is fine,” then she sees it. Kate is heading over to the right side of the room. A huge kitchen area with a large serving counter, refrigerators, a regular commercial style stove, an island with two sinks and a flat hibachi grill under a large stainless steel range hood. 

“Holy shit, Kate!” she exclaims. 

Kate returns to her side with a water bottle for each of them, her eyes downcast. “So,” she says quietly, “I told you my father was a contractor. When he passed away, my brother and I decided to sell his business. Actually, it was in my Dad’s will. Neither of us wanted to get involved with it and I doubt the board would have liked it-“ 

“The board?” Tobin interrupts. 

“It was more of a corporation by then. So we sold it and we both came into some money.” She finishes quietly. 

“Well, this is amazing,” Tobin smiles. 

“Thanks,” Kate nods. She glances at her watch. “Second couch is the best, pick a middle cushion, they recline. Arms folds down on the sides.” 

“I’ll be there in a minute, I want to check these out.” Tobin jerks her head towards the wall of sports stuff. 

Kate nods, “Hit that light switch to your left.” She returns to the kitchen.

Tobin does and the wall illuminates. A signed Santo Cubs jersey, a signed Savard Blackhawks one, team signed Fire and Red Stars jerseys. A youth small softball t-shirt. Tobin glances at Kate as she’s fiddling with a remote. 

“Your first team?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” Kate smiles. Tobin smiles back at her. Her own Mother has all of her old jerseys and most of her awards. Her place is small and she’s always had mixed feelings about displaying stuff. Doesn’t want to feed her ego or something. But this, this, is tasteful and not overstated. 

The next jersey she assumes is college. Signatures litter the back. 

She moves forward, seeing a familiar logo on the bottom of the number of the jersey. 

“Olympics?” she asked. 

“Yeah, Beijing.” 

Tobin nods. She sees the rectangular frame next to it. A silver medal under the glass. 

“We were there at the same time,” Tobin murmurs. 

“Yours is a little shinier,” Kate smirks. 

“Yeah, well,” 

“Come on, it’s starting.” Kate motions as she sits down. 

Tobin makes her way over and sits next to her. Slowly easing onto the couch, she settles in. 

As the players make their way out, the announcer is discussing Chicago’s captain. 

“She plays on the National Team, yeah?” Kate questions. 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies. “Actually, she’s coming over to my place tomorrow morning to visit before her flight.” 

“That’s cool,” Kate nods. She offers Tobin some popcorn from the bowl between them. Tobin takes a handful and starts munching. 

“So, Christen and I dated for almost two years.” She begins. “We broke up almost ten months ago and are still friends.” 

Kate looks at the screen as the Captains shake hands and return to the sidelines. Without looking at Tobin she says, “Friends or friends with benefits?”

Tobin’s hand stops midway to her mouth. 

“Sorry,” Kate says looking down. “it’s a cop thing to be so blunt. None of my business.” 

“No, no, it’s okay,” Tobin says. “I just, I didn’t even think of that.” She takes a drink of water. “We’re just friends. Neither one of us are into that kind of, um, arrangement.” 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you that, Tobin,” Kate says looking at her, regret in her eyes. 

“No, it’s okay,” Tobin reaches out and grabs her hand. “I mean, if we think there might be something here between us, you should know. Full disclosure. I’m an open book.” She smiles. 

“I haven’t been in a real relationship since my senior year in college.” Kate confesses. “It was a rocky one to begin with and dealing with being attacked didn’t help anything. I was a mess.” Kate sips her water. “I’ve been with a few people since for a while but nothing ever clicked.” 

 

“So you’re not seeing anyone right now, are you?” Tobin says slowly. She wants to be sure they are totally upfront with each other.  
Kate shakes her head, “No, last year was the last time I dated someone. Full disclosure.” 

“Good.” Tobin says. 

“Good?” Kate asks. 

“Yeah, good,” Tobin smiles, leans over and kisses her check. She motions with her hand, “here comes kickoff.”

Kate smiles as she reclines her seat and settles in. “Go Red Stars!” she cheers. 

Tobin shakes her head and smirks. 

It’s a tough match with many scoring opportunities but sharp defense and some awesome stops by the goalies keep the game scoreless. 

“That wasn’t a yellow!” Kate bellows as she struggles to her feet. “No way! Not a PK!” 

Tobin remains quiet, trying desperately not to grin or smirk or make any facial expression. She calmly reaches for some popcorn.  


Nadia Nadim takes the penalty shot and scores easily. Tobin pumps her fist. 

“Shit!” Kate exclaims. She looks at Tobin who is grinning wildly at her. “Shut up!” she says lightly shoving her shoulder. 

“What?” Tobin asks, a stupid grin still splattered across her face. 

“Do you seriously think that was a yellow worthy tackle?” Kate asks. 

Tobin shrugs, “Another ref, ah, maybe not. This one, yes. She likes to establish control very early in games and has the tendency to issue most cards in the first half.” 

Kate just looks at her. 

“I mean, she’s a very good ref, don’t get me wrong.” Tobin says as she settles in her seat. “She’s a little predictable. I’m sure you’ve had umpires that were the same way.”

Kate nods. She never thought about soccer refs having styles that they would call a game. Interesting. 

More chances occur but, nothing gets through at the half.

“Bathroom?” Tobin asks as she stands. 

Kate points. “Down the hallway. You’ll have to figure out the right one on your own,” she smirks. 

They both get up and Kate moves to the kitchen while Tobin crutches down the short hallway. Kate hears Tobin’s delightful laugh as a door opens. She pokes head in the fridge, making sure has everything she needs for dinner. 

“Really?” Tobin is smiling as she crutches back to the couch. “You have a beaver on the door? And a rooster on the other one?” 

Kate just wiggles her eyes. “A sense of humor keeps me humble,” she grins. “You want something else to drink?” 

“I’m good for now.” Tobin replies. 

They both relax on the couch as the second half resumes. As the game nears the 70th minute, Kate sighs. 

“This ref looks like she’s playing Uno with all of these cards!” Kate exclaims. 

Tobin laughs and shakes her head. 

“You getting hungry?” Kate asks her, “I can start dinner soon if you want,” 

“I’m good,” Tobin smiles. Then her stomach growls. 

Kate gets up. “I can still watch while I cook.” She says. “Stir fry chicken okay?” 

“Sounds great!” Tobin turns as Kate is walking to the kitchen. “Can I help?” 

“Nope, you have a game to watch.” Kate smirks. “Don’t want your teammates calling you out for not seeing it.” 

Tobin turns back to see the Thorns have another scoring chance denied. She groans. 

“We’re gonna lose,” Tobin hears Kate mutter. She hears the fridge doors opening and shutting and then utensils being placed on the counter. She’s compelled to watch the game, seeing how the defense tightens up and shuts down Chicago.

In extra time Christen gets a yellow. Tobin can see her muttering to herself as she walks back to her position. She’ll be a little pissed tomorrow, she thinks. 

Once the game is over, Tobin makes her way to the counter as Kate is plating their meal. Tobin looks at the cooling hibachi grill. “I’d love to try cooking on that,” she says. 

“The trick is to keep everything moving so it won’t burn,” Kate confides as she nudges Tobin’s shoulder. 

“Wanna eat over there and find another game?” Kate asks nodding towards the couch. 

“Yeah, if you want.” Tobin agrees. 

“Go on over and I’ll bring your plate.” Kate instructs. “I’ve got beer, lemonade, iced tea, water?” 

“Beer is fine,” Tobin replies easily. “Just pick one you like to go with this. I don’t mind different types.” 

Kate nods as Tobin makes her way to the couch. Can she really be that easy going, Kate wonders. I’d like to know some of her preferences. I’ll just have to ask her. She brings the plates over, hands one to Tobin and sets hers down on the couch. She returns with napkins, silverware and two beers tucked under her arm. 

“For some reason, I really like German beer with stir fry.” Kate explains. “The less filtered, the better. It’s a Weiss beer. Pretty smooth. I have some lemon or an orange if you want.” 

Tobin nods as she opens her beer. 

“Oh, do you want a glass?” Kate asks, her eyes wide. 

“Relax, Kate,” Tobin smiles, “this is fine.”

“Yeah, alright,” Kate replies slowly. “I guess I’m just being casual, I should have at least offered you a table to eat at.” 

Tobin laughs, “Dude! This is how I eat most of my meals. Literally, sitting on my couch. It’s fine. I think it’s like a single person thing.” 

Kate switches the stream to another NWSL game. She makes a face as soon as the picture appears. “Kinda shitty stream” she mutters. 

“Yeah, they’re still working out the kinks.” Tobin comments. 

As they eat and watch the game, they continue their casual conversation. 

“So, what does Monday look like?” Tobin asks Kate. 

Kate sighs, “Counseling at nine o’clock, an eye exam at ten thirty, get my staples and stitches out at one and then an MRI at four thirty. After that I intend to nap. What about you?” 

“Are, are you okay?” Tobin asks, her eyebrows knitted together with concern. 

“Yeah, the sensitivity thing is just lingering so they want to make sure nothing else is going on.” Kate says. “Just a follow up.” She looks at Tobin. “What does Monday look like for you?” 

“Start rehab at Providence Park. Go there and eat breakfast with the team and go from there.” Tobin nods. “Oh, and then at four I have my first counseling session.” 

“It’ll be good to get back in the team setting, huh.” Kate comments, taking a sip of beer. 

Tobin finishes chewing, “Yeah. I really miss them,” she nods. 

“How do you feel about going to see someone?” Kate is curious. 

“Okay, I guess,” Tobin says slowly. “I mean, I speak with our sports psychologist and that can get pretty personal. I know I’m going to have to talk about some gnarly stuff, but I know it will be good for me.” 

Kate nods. “Hey, how are your legs feeling?” 

“Well, in the mornings they feel good, like, I walked out to the kitchen and was getting around alright, but as the day goes on they feel heavy, like I’ve played a full game. They don’t hurt as much anymore, but are just like dead at the end of the day.” 

“It’s getting better though?” Kate asks quietly. 

“Yeah, it seems like every morning I feel stronger for a little longer but, just not as quickly as I’d like.” Tobin replies quietly. “It’ll come. I have faith.” 

Their attention turns to the TV as a Houston Dash player scores a goal. 

When they’ve completed their meal, Kate takes the plates, rinses them and throws them in the dishwasher with the utensils she used. From the counter she calls to Tobin, “I have the most amazing dessert to offer you.” 

Tobin cranes her neck to look at her. “Oh, yeah?” she grins. 

“Yeah,” Kate grins and turns to go rustle around at the freezer. She comes back to the couch with two popsicles with napkins around the sticks. “We get real fancy around here, ya know.” she laughs. 

“Pick your color, blue or purple?” 

Tobin reaches for the purple one. “Thanks!” she smiles. “This is great!” 

As they sit eating their popsicles, Tobin suddenly laughs. “This has been a fun night,” she says, “you’re so down to Earth.” 

“Thanks, not trying to put on any airs.” Kate grins as she takes a huge lick from her popsicle. 

“That’s what I like about you.” Tobin says as she attempts to lick the melting popsicle juice running down her fingers. “You’re just you, ya know?” she licks again, “No bullshit, no hidden agenda.” 

“I’m not a big fan of pomp and circumstance,” Kate shrugs, “I don’t like fancy functions and stuff. I mean, I have to go to some of them, but they’re just not my thing. I like to stay in the background and just do what I do in the shadows.” 

Tobin nods. “I get it,” she says, “some of my teammates are super vocal about stuff and all over the place on social media. I prefer to keep a quieter profile. Do stuff I believe in but, do it much lower key.” 

“Having such a familiar face in Portland makes that a little more challenging, I would think.” Kate offers. 

“Yes and no,” Tobin says as she finishes her popsicle. “that’s what I love about Portland, I can be pretty anonymous. Most people as super cool when I’m out and don’t bother me. They just let me do my thing.” 

“Uh huh,” Kate nods. 

“Sometimes fans get a little to in my face. Like, taking photos of what’s in my shopping cart and stuff. I mean, do they really want to know what kind of toilet paper I buy?” Tobin shakes her. “I do most of my shopping online now.” she finishes quietly. 

“That sucks,” Kate says nudging her shoulder. 

“Yeah, it just goes with the territory though.”

They sit in silence watching the game for a few minutes. 

“Kate,” Tobin says laying her hand on her forearm, “tell me about this place? I mean, did you build this house or was it here?” 

Kate smiles at her. “Built it.” She says. When I was ten years old, I kept telling my Dad I wanted to build my own house like he did. So we sat down and started sketching. It became our thing.” 

“That’s cool.” Tobin nods. 

“Yeah, so like, when things would get crazy and I was stressed out, instead of coming and talking to me, my Dad would ask to work on the house. So, we’d go to his drafting table and start drawing. Eventually, I’d tell him what was bothering me and he’d listen and offer help.” 

Tobin smiles. What a cool guy, she thinks. 

“After I was attacked my junior year, I was home for a while and not doing well. We’d sit at the table and I couldn’t do anything. I’d just cry and he’d hold me. We wouldn’t talk. Just sit there.” She clears her throat. “One night I was so pissed about what happened, I was pissed at myself, the world, you name it.” 

Tobin waits. 

“I ripped everything up.” A single tear went down her cheek. Kate moves and intertwines her hand with Tobin’s. 

“I wasn’t thinking, I was just out of control.” She says. “Then I realized what I did and couldn’t stop crying. I saw the hurt in his eyes and it broke me.” 

Tobin squeezes her hand. 

“I left. I went back to school as soon as I could. I couldn’t face him. I was so ashamed. I closed off everyone. I started doing risky things. Drank too much, didn’t study enough, missed practices. I was a mess.” 

“When I came back home for Thanksgiving, I saw that he had reassembled all the plans. There on the table was everything taped back together. He told me, that just like these plans, they could be fixed. They wouldn’t ever be the same, but they would work. From here, we could improve these plans. I too, could be put back together and get through what had happened to me. I wouldn’t ever be the same but, given time, I could get there and improve as well.” She wipes her eye with her thumb and smiles at Tobin. 

“He sounds like an amazing man,” Tobin says quietly. 

“He was,” Kate looks at her. “He really was and I miss him terribly.” She clears her throat. “After he died, we found the official blueprints for the house. He had sent them to an architect and had them drawn up. I built the house off of them and it’s hanging on my wall.”

Tobin leans over the armrest and fiercely hugs her and holds on. After a few minutes, they pull back. Tobin wipes her own cheek from her own tears. 

“You okay?” Kate looks at her. 

“Yeah,” Tobin’s voice is rough. “It’s a sad, uplifting, beautiful story.” 

Kate nods. The sit for a few minutes. 

“Hey, can we go back to the house?” Tobin asks. Her eyes are bright. 

“Yeah, sure, what do you need?” Kate asks. 

“I sketched out and measured my wall.” Tobin smiles. “Do you still want to help me with it?” 

“Absolutely!” Kate grins as she gets up. “Let’s lock up quick and go.” 

They get up and Kate starts shutting off lights and they make their way to the side door. Tobin is a little clumsy getting into the ATV as they head back to the house. Kate runs in and retrieves her backpack and sits it on Tobin’s lap. Sammy jumps in the back of the ATV.

“You okay?’ she seriously asks Tobin. 

“Yeah, the legs are just tired.” Tobin says. “Don’t want to listen to me,” 

Kate nods as she flicks on the headlights and drives over to the outbuilding. “Stay put, I’ll be right back.” Kate commands as she hops out of the ATV. She disappears through the door. A moment later, Tobin hears a rumble and sees one of the large doors retracting upwards. Lights are on illuminating the whole inside of the building.  
Kate jogs up and hops in the ATV, keying the motor and pulling over to the garage, carefully nosing it in. She hops out, circles the ATV and is handing Tobin her crutches while she shoulders the backpack. They move over to the woodshop area and take seats in front of a large table. Sammy finds his bed and lays down. 

“Let’s see it!” Kate exclaims as Tobin digs through one of the pockets. She pulls out some papers, unfolds them and spreads them out on the table. 

“I did a couple of versions.” She says as Kate inspects them. “One of them is my favorite though,”  
Kate is silently studying each one of Tobin’s drawings. One is just done in lead pencil while the other three are color pencil versions with Tobin carefully choosing different shades of brown to represent the wood tones. She nods as she views them individually and then spreads them out in front of her. She looks for another minute, Tobin watching as her eyes bounce from each drawing. 

Kate leans back. “These are cool.” She says. 

“Which one do you like best?” asks Tobin. 

Kate shakes her head, “It doesn’t matter, it needs to be which one you like best.” 

“I know,” Tobin agrees, “but I’m curious. Humor me.” 

“This one.” Kate points to the third drawing. 

Tobin nods and smiles. “Mine too.” 

“Here’s the wall dimensions,” Tobin says shoving another piece of paper at her. Kate nods as she looks it over. 

They discuss the panel and roughly map out how many planks it might take to fill it. They debate whether the planks should all be one height or have varying and decide on a variety. Kate shows Tobin her scrap wood section and tells her they could probably make most of it without having to buy wood, maybe only some special planks. They agree to start work during the week and nail down any other details and discuss lighting options.

As soon as Tobin yawns once, Kate is quick to offer to drive her home and they start to get ready to leave. 

As they drive, Tobin smiles as she thinks about the evening. It was so laid back and natural. Kate seems so nice and down to Earth and easy to speak with. She’s intrigued to learn more about Frank Lloyd Wright so she can ask Kate questions about her house. There’s so many details to it. She wants to spend time there, looking at the drawings and photos closely. She wants to hear Kate play the piano. And she sings. God, she sings? Tobin thinks she might melt at the thought of it. 

Kate’s hand on her forearm brings her out of her thoughts. 

Kate glances over at her, “You alright?” she says, “you’re quiet.” 

Tobin smiles at her. “Just thinking about what a really good time I had with you tonight.” 

“Thanks,” Kate grins, “me too. Thanks for coming out.” 

“What’s on your agenda for tomorrow?” Tobin asks her. 

“My brother and his wife are coming over for brunch, then laundry, then I don’t know. Maybe a nap or just binge watch something. Probably nap so I can do some stuff outside later.” 

“Like what?” Tobin asks, “more midnight mowing?” she grins. 

“More like midnight gardening,” Kate laughs. 

“We didn’t see the garden today,” Tobin frowns. 

“Next time.” Kate promises. “I might even have some veggies to give you.” 

“Oh man, there’s nothing like a fresh tomato or cucumber.” Tobin grins. 

Kate nods. “I know,” 

As she pulls up to Tobin’s building, she asks, “Want me to walk you up?” 

“Nah, I’m good,” Tobin replies. “Text me when you get home?” 

“I will,” Kate nods. 

Tobin swears she just wants to give her a quick kiss, nothing more. But as soon as their lips meet, they both feel a burst of passion and escalate the kiss. Soon they break apart, out of breath and both grinning at each other. 

“Woah,” Kate smiles. 

“Woah,” Tobin nods slowly as she smiles back at her. 

They look at each other for a moment until a flash of headlights pull in behind them. 

“I better go,” Tobin opens the passenger door of the SUV, “text me?”

“Certainly!” Kate nods. And with that, she’s crutching up the entrance, entering her security code and disappears inside. 

Kate sighs as she smiles as drives off. What was that, she wonders. Just one of the best kisses I’ve ever had in my life. I wonder what she thinks. I wonder if her counseling is going to raise her awareness to whatever this is between us. This might be hard for her. I remember my first dating experience after I finally embraced, discussed and accepted what happened to me. It was nerve wracking. I freaked out the first time we had sex. I wanted to and all, but the flashbacks just freaked me out. 

She shakes her head as she drives. We’ll figure it out. She’s worth it. She smiles as she flips her stereo on and starts to jam out on the way home. 

When Tobin enters her apartment, she feels giddy. That kiss was something else. I want more. She makes me so horny. I had so much trouble not touching her all night. I know we need to take it slow. But I just, I just really like her. 

She prepares for bed and mentally goes over her Sunday. Christen’s coming over at ten with coffee. She can only stay an hour because of her flight. It will be good to see her. I miss her. Wait, how do I miss her? As a friend. Yeah, she’s only a friend. What we had was good but I do feel lighter since we broke up. I mean, with her we had a tendency to analyze everything. She needed to be so careful and not be out. I understand that and respect it, but sometimes I feel like it was more because of her image as a ‘celebrity’ and not because of some deep need in herself. I don’t know. She confused me so much. Mixed messages. When was it okay to show affection and when wasn’t it. Usually when I thought it was okay, she thinks wryly. 

Kate's text comes through.

Kate: Home! Thanks for coming over. Too bad about the Red Stars tho.

Tobin: No chance against my Thorns! Had a great night! 

Tobin snuggles deeper under her comforter. Christen’s a good person and a good friend. It will nice to see her, she thinks. I can't wait to get to know Kate better, she smiles as she sets her alarm and drifts off to sleep.


	17. Panic & Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin ramps up her physical therapy at Providence but it doesn't go as planned. She meets her therapist for the first time as well.

“So, I’ll talk to you later this week, okay?” Christen says as she opens Tobin’s door. “See how everything is going?” 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Tobin says with a hand on the door. “Have a good flight back.” 

“I will.” Christen surges in and hugs Tobin again. “Take care of yourself.” She says as she leaves. 

Tobin shuts the door and walks slowly back to her couch. She sits down and reflects on her visit with Christen. Christen had been in tears upon first seeing Tobin, hugging her fiercely and keeping a hand on her while they talked. Tobin skated through details of what happened, having a feeling Christen knew more of what happened than she let on. Christen was polite, asking appropriate questions but never being intrusive, even after their history of being together, Christen was respectful of the boundaries they had established. 

She was supportive, kind and sincere. Never inserting an opinion to what Tobin was sharing, yet gently asking leading questions so Tobin could vocalize herself better for Christen to understand. Christen had a way keeping Tobin calm as so spoke of difficult topics. Kind of like Kate, Tobin thought. 

As Christen had been preparing to leave, she turned to Tobin, a look in her eyes. “I’m glad we can have this,” she said. Tobin cocked her head to the side in question. 

“I’m glad we were able to keep our friendship, Tobin.” She smiled. 

“Me too,” Tobin had said as she hugged her. “I’m so grateful for you. You’re a great friend.” 

“You too,” Christen had said as she began collecting her things to leave. 

When Tobin got up from the couch, she made her way to her bedroom and grabbed her Bible. She opened it and removed the sheets she had made in the hospital. Going to the island in the kitchen, she set them down, got a glass of water, found a pen and began to review her notes. As she scanned them, she added a few lines here and there and smiled to herself when she finished. 

“Hey Per,” she smiled when Perry’s face popped up. 

“Hey kiddo, how ya doing?” Perry grinned. “Your face is looking good. You’re still pale.” 

“Yeah, stitches are out and I’m putting vitamin E on it like you told me.” 

“Let me see your stomach.” Perry commands. 

Tobin holds the phone away from herself as she lifts her t-shirt up with her right hand. 

“Closer, and go across slowly.” Perry instructs. 

Tobin follows directions and watches as Perry studies her wound. 

“That bottom part looks a little irritated still,” she comments. 

“It’s on my abs so it catches,” Tobin says. “If I move wrong, it lets me know it’s there.” 

“But other than that, it’s looking really good,” Perry smiles as she encourages. “How are the other burns?” 

“Just about gone. My thighs were the worst and I’ll probably scar a bit but they don’t hurt now.” 

“Feet?” she questions. 

“My arches get a little tight, but I can touch them and they aren’t sore. Maybe a week or so and it will be gone.” Tobin nods. 

This is the opening to almost every call she has with Perry. It’s never invasive and Tobin knows this is what Perry needs from Tobin so she can be assured Tobin is actually doing well. The only time Tobin refused was when Perry wanted to examine her vagina to see how the stitches were. Tobin flat out told her the undercarriage was good and leave it at that. Perry backed off, embarrassed when she realized what she was asking Tobin to do. 

“How’s the plumbing?” Perry now refers to the lower half as that. 

“Stitches dissolved and it’s not tender or itchy anymore.” Tobin replies. She shivers. That was an uncomfortable experience to have, she remembers. 

“Did Mom go through that after having us?” Tobin asks. 

Perry laughs, “I don’t know, but my friends that did said it really sucked.” 

Tobin grins at her. 

“You’re looking pretty good, kiddo.” Perry repeats. “What’s going on in your head?” 

So, Tobin shares with her the visit from Christen, how she just finished reviewing notes for therapy and how she is eager to get to Providence Park to escalate her physical therapy. 

“What’s going on with Kate?” Perry asks as she sips from a glass. “You still talking with her?” 

Tobin’s grin spreads into a smile and her eyes shine. “Yeah, you know she came over for dinner with the gals Friday and then I watched the game at her place last night.” 

“You like her, don’t you.” Perry states, not questions. She knows Tobin and smiles and look in her eyes tells her more than Tobin could. 

“So much,” Tobin sighs. “I just, I don’t know.” She shakes her head. 

“What?” 

“Timing, maybe?” Tobin questions, “I mean, I know I ‘m a mess. I know I have to work out what really happened to me. I don’t just want to sleep with her. I mean, I do, she’s gorgeous, but I want more.”

“And?” Perry draws the word out. 

“And,” Tobin sighs. “I just hope she willing to wait for me.” She finishes quietly. 

They’re both silent for a moment. 

“Tobin,” Perry clears her throat, “from what you’ve shared with me, Kate seems incredibly nice, very intelligent and seems to have had a similar history as you.” She takes another drink. “I would be shocked if this woman didn’t wait around for you. Right now, it sounds like you’re building a great foundation of a friendship and it sounds like you’re actually communicating to each other.” 

Tobin thinks for a moment. “You know,” she says slowly, “last night we talked about Christen and she told me about her last relationship. We agreed we thought something might be between us,” 

“See?” Perry exclaims. “She’s in to you and is willing to wait. Just go with the flow.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs. “I just think I’m over analyzing everything because I’m a little nervous about tomorrow.”

“That’s understandable.” Perry comforts. “you’re taking a big step in your recovery. There’s no shame if you can’t move this quick Tobin. Everyone has their pace. You just have to find yours.” 

Tobin nods. “Yeah, you’re right.”

They move on to family topics and close their conversation soon after that. 

“Love you, kiddo,” Perry smiles. 

“I love you too, Per.” Tobin says softly. “Thanks for this, you’ve been so awesome.” 

“Shush, next thing you’ll tell me I’m your favorite sister!” Perry laughs. 

After they hang up, Tobin feels tired from the emotions of her morning. She eats a quick lunch at the island as she scrolls through her phone and then heads to the couch and lays down. Not finding any soccer games on, she sees a listing for a Chicago Cubs game. Smiling, she turns it on and settles in under a blanket. She watches for a little while as her eyelids get heavier and she drifts off. 

 

**

 

“Are you okay?” Tobin repeats herself a little louder this time. Fear is laced in her voice. 

“Yeah,” Kate’s sleepy voice comes through on the other end of the phone. “I’ve just had this nagging headache all day. I forgot that the Ecology Club was coming over today so there’s been trucks coming and going all day.” 

“But you’re alright?” Tobin reiterates. 

“Yeah,” Kate replies. She sounds exhausted, Tobin thinks. “I think I’m just going to call it a night though, big day tomorrow.” Kate comments. 

“Yeah, sure,” Tobin glances at her watch. It’s eight thirty. “That’s probably a good idea.” 

“Let’s talk tomorrow, yeah? I want to hear about your day.” She says. 

“Yes, sounds good. Get some rest.” Tobin says quietly. 

“Good night,” Kate murmurs. 

Tobin looks at her phone. She’s worried but is comforted by the fact that she knows Kate is getting checked out tomorrow. 

It’s too early for her to go to sleep so she does some light stretching and a little band work on her legs and then takes a shower. She’s grateful her stomach is healing pretty well. The other night was the first time she could actually sleep on her side. It felt so good. Her back was getting sore from being flat out for so long. 

She gets in bed and pulls out her journal and writes for a while. Recapping her last couple of days. Filling a few pages about Kate. Putting pen to paper to convey her feelings helps her head and heart understand her emotions. Smiling, she shuts the book, places her pen with it on the nightstand and clicks off the light. She moves to her side with a happy sigh, hugging a pillow and easily falls to sleep. 

 

**

 

Backpack is packed, change of clothes, socks, gym shoes, wallet, keys, headphones, Tobin rechecks it. Phone is in my pocket, she taps her thigh. She’s wearing joggers and a hoodie. The morning is a little brisk even though it will eventually get up into the seventies. Kling should be here any minute to take her to Providence Park. 

She’s been puttering around the house this morning. Vacuuming carpets, dusting a little and straightening up. She likes clean lines but not a lot of clutter. Sure, her movie shelf gets messy and she has a pile of papers on her desk in her second bedroom but, she knows where everything is. 

A knock at the door alerts Tobin and she walks over to open it. 

“Yo,” Kling greets her. She arches an eyebrow. “Crutches?” 

“Yeah, I’m bringing them. I was just putting my bag down when you knocked.” Tobin explains. 

Kling nods and elbows the door open as Tobin slings on her backpack and grabs her crutches. They make their way down to the lobby and out to Kling’s car. As Kling pulls out for the short drive to Providence Park she elbows Tobin, “you want to stop for coffee?” 

It startles Tobin. Allison asked her that as they drove to the doctor’s office. The hair on the back of Tobin’s neck stands on end. Goosebumps pop on her arms. She’s grateful she’s wearing a hoodie and Kling can’t see it. 

“Nah, I’m good. If you want to stop, that’s cool.” She replies. She thinks her voice was a little shaky but Kling doesn’t seem to notice. 

Her foot starts to twitch as they drive. Allison. I trusted her. She helped me and then hurt me. God, she hurt me so bad. She flinches as she thinks about the e-stim. She coughs to cover her flinch as Kling sings along to the radio. 

Tobin feels sweat break out across her forehead. This is where she worked. Where she saw me. She saw me all the time. She gave me massages. Oh my God, she touched me. What was she thinking while she was doing that? 

Kling parks her car in a No Parking area on the back side of Providence Park. She turns on her hazard lights and exits the vehicle. “I’ll make sure you get in okay and then move my car,” she explains. 

Tobin takes a deep breath and gathers herself as she opens the door. Kling hands her the crutches and Tobin takes a step forward. As soon as she sees the Player’s Entrance sign she stops. Her breathing picks up and she physically can not move. 

Kling is a couple of steps on front of her and stops to turn around. 

Tobin is now breathing heavy and drenched in sweat. “I can’t,” she mumbles. “I can’t.” 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Kling comes to her side. “it’s okay, it’s alright. You need a minute?” 

“I can’t,” Tobin repeats louder, flinching as she sees Allison hugging her, Allison touching her, Allison roughly fucking her. She knows this is a safe place but she can’t get the thoughts of Allison out of her head. 

“I can’t!” she yells, stumbling backwards as she scrambles to Kling’s car. She’s fumbling for door handle, desperately trying to get in. Kling unlocks the vehicle and puts her hand on Tobin’s back as she opens the door. Tobin flinches, looking up and seeing Allison for a split second. 

“I can’t!” she sobs as she drops in the seat, her head in her hands. “I can’t!” she repeats as if repeating it would somehow help but all she feels is terror and defeat. Her foot is thumping against the side wall of the car. 

“Okay, okay,” Kling comforts. “We don’t have to go, let’s get you back home.” She feels Kling reach around and buckle her seatbelt. 

Tobin’s sobbing and rocking in the seat, hugging her backpack, mumbling quietly in between breathes. 

Wide eyed, Kling gets in the car and swiftly returns to their building. She shuts off the engine. 

“We’re back, okay?” she says softly putting a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin flinches and looks at her, panic in her eyes. Still looking at Kling she fumbles for the door handle again   
and clumsily exits the car. She grabs her backpack, as she runs, leaving the crutches behind. She drops her backpack in the hallway in front of the elevator as she finds her keys. As the elevator doors close she can faintly hear Kling yelling “Tobin, wait!” 

She’s leaning her head against the wall as the elevator takes her to her floor. Sobbing, she exits and stumbles down to her door, hands shaking as she tries to unlock it. “Come on,” she mutters, “Fuck!” 

Her hands are shaking too much, she knows she’s out of control but she just needs to be in her house. Be safe. I gotta get safe. 

Finally, her door is open and she trips as she moves to her room. “Tobin!” she hears Kling yelling. 

She cries out in pain from her stomach and the fall and gets up as quickly as she can, slamming her bedroom door shut and locking it as Kling reaches the entrance. 

She hears pounding on her door and Kling calling for her but she can’t do anything except lay on her bed in the fetal position crying. She flashes to the fear on Kling’s face. She must think I’m crazy, she thinks. “I’m sorry,” she cries. “I’m sorry!” 

She can faintly hear the fear Kling’s voice over her own sobs. Poor Kling, she thinks, I scared her. It just makes her cry harder. She’s hugging her pillow and her stomach is on fire and she’s drenched in sweat and her throat is raw. Her eyes are burning and she squeezes them shut. She hears someone talking and realizes it’s her own voice repeating ‘I’m sorry’. I’ve fucking lost it, she thinks.

Her breath is hitching as she tries to calm herself down. I’m safe. Allison is dead. She can’t hurt me. She repeats this mantra to herself as she struggles to control her breathing. 

After a few minutes, her breathing evens out. She’s just lying there, exhaustion settling over her, when she hears the click of the lock and the door open slowly. 

“Harry?” Allie softly calls out. Her voice mixed with fear, uncertainty and sadness. 

Tobin starts crying again, she thinks I’m crazy, Tobin’s mind flashes. Maybe I am, I can’t handle this. Fuck you Allison, her mind screams as she starts crying harder. 

She feels the mattress dip down as Allie makes her way behind her. She lays along side of Tobin, snuggling close touching most of her body.

“I’ve got you,” she coos. “I’ve got you,” she repeats as she pulls Tobin into her. 

“I couldn’t go,” Tobin cries. “I couldn’t-“ she sobs. 

“I know, I know,” Allie says as she softly rubs Tobin’s arm. 

“She hurt me,” Tobin cries. “She did” she cries, “horrible” she breathes “things” she sobs “to me.” She's shaking violently as she sobs. 

“I know, I know, baby girl,” Allie says calmly, “she can’t hurt you now.” 

Tobin tense up. “But she does,” she cries, “she’s in my fucking head and I can’t get her out!” she rolls over to face Allie and buries her head in her chest, clutching onto to her shirt for dear life. Allie brings both of her arms around her, one holding her tight and the other softly rubbing her back. 

At some point Tobin slips into an uneasy sleep, dreaming of Allison. She’s back on the table, strapped down struggling to free herself. She can feel the thick leather restraints around her wrists and ankles. Allison is straddling her with her fingers deep inside her. She slowly brings her fingers out, licking them as she looks at Tobin. 

“You’re mine.” She says as she grins. ”I’ve got you and I’ll keep you here forever.” She laughs as Tobin uselessly struggles to free herself. 

“I’m going to fuck you so hard, baby.” Allison slides three fingers back in and roughly shoves up. 

Tobin cries out in pain as she raises her hips to ease the angle. 

“You’re mine.” Allison chants as she increases the speed. 

“No! NO! NO!” Tobin cries out. 

“I’ve got you, Tobin.” Allie says as she strokes her sweaty hair. “You’re safe, you’re safe,” 

Tobin’s eye shoot open as realizes it was just a dream. She is crying softly. I’ve never cried this much, she thinks. Not after my Grandpa died, not after the PK I blew in the World Cup or after Rio. 

She feels cold from sweat and is shaky and exhausted. Her mouth and throat are dry and raw, her eyes irritated. She shifts a little and feels Allie grip her tighter. She slowly raises her head and sees Allie’s kind eyes looking at her. 

“Hey,” Allie says softly. 

“Hey,” Tobin replies, averting her eyes, ashamed.

“Don’t you look down, you have nothing to feel embarrassed about.” Allie’s raspy voice calling to her. 

She feels fingers on her chin, lifting to raise her eyes back to Allie. “It’s okay to not be okay.” 

Fresh tears threaten to spill from Tobin’s eyes. “I don’t wanna not be okay anymore,” she says, her voice trembling. 

“Well, I think you gotta put in some work and learn some tools to help you get there,” Allie smiles kindly. “It’ll come, just takes some time.” 

Tobin brings her hand to her face to wipe the snot from her nose. “I’m a mess,” 

Allie surprises her by laughing lightly, “Yes, yes, you are, but we’re gonna help you,” she hugs her tight and holds her close. “I think you got hit by a big emotional truck today.” 

“I think I scared the fuck outta Kling,” Tobin sniffs. “I’m so sorry,” 

“It’s ookaayyy,” Allie says, drawing out the word. 

They rest silently for a few moments. 

“Tobs, you need to shower, you kinda stink.” 

“I don’t think I can move.” Comes the raspy response. 

“We’ll help you,” Allie squeezes her. “You really need to see your therapist today,”

Tobin sighs. “Yeah, I do,” she says pitifully. 

The door slowly opens and a wary looking Kling enters. “Everything okay in here?” she asks quietly. 

“Yeah,” Allie releases Tobin and rolls over to face her, “we’re going to get up and get Tobin a shower,” 

“Megan,” Tobin’s voice trembles, “I’m so sorry,”

Kling comes around to her side of the bed, “Tobin, it’s alright, you scared me but I was scared for you. I’m sorry we didn’t think this through and realize it might affect you like this.” she says softly. “How are you feeling now?” she asks gently. 

“Super shaky and really tired.” She answers. 

“Did you eat breakfast?” Allie asks. 

“I had a yogurt. I was going to grab something at PP,” Tobin replies. 

“Well, it’s almost two so no wonder you’re shaky. Are you hungry?” she questions. 

Tobin shakes her head. “I’m not, but I know I should have something.” 

“What about a smoothie?” Kling asks. “Think you could handle that?”

“Yeah, maybe a small one.” Tobin looks at her. “I’m really sorry,” she says remorsefully. 

Kling bends down to give her an awkward angled hug. “I got you. We’re good.” 

“Damn, Tobin, your hoodie is wet,” Allie says as she slides it over Tobin’s head. “Tobin!” she exclaims, fear and alarm in her voice. 

“What?” Tobin yelps back. 

“Your shirt!” Allie kneels in front of her as Tobin sits on the side of the bed. “You’re bleeding, let me look,” 

Tobin glances down and sees that, indeed, her shirt has a large blood splatter on the front just below her chest. She instantly pales. 

She slowly lifts her shift and stops when she realizes she doesn’t have the strength to lift her arms over her head. Allie silently takes over and gently brings the shirt off. 

That lower third area of her wound has spots of dried blood and a couple areas that are raw and weeping a little fresh blood. 

“It’s not too bad,” Allie evaluates. “It looks worse than it is,” she comforts. “Do you think you can crutch over to the bathroom?” 

Tobin nods, “yeah, let’s try.” 

She struggles a little but makes it to the bathroom and sits down on the shower chair. Allie helps her get cleaned up, washing her hair and carefully cleaning her wound. 

When they finish, Tobin is dressed and can barely crutch back to her bed. “I’m so tired,” she yawns. 

“Why don’t you rest for a little bit, Robin will be here shortly to check you out,” Allie suggests. 

“Yeah,” Tobin mumbles as she closes her eyes, asleep almost instantly. 

“Tobin,” she hears Allie say softly and feels a hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her. 

Her eyes flutter open as she squints around the room. She clumsily reaches for her glasses but her arm feels like it’s asleep. Allie gently grabs them and places them on her face. 

“Hi Tobin, how are you doing?” Robin’s gentle voice calls out. “I hear you had a rough morning,” 

“Hey, Robin,” Tobin greets, surprised her voice sounds almost normal. “I got scared and I panicked,” 

“Yeah, honey, you did,” Robin states. “I’m so sorry we weren’t more considerate that you’d have a problem coming back to the Park,” 

“It’s okay,” Tobin replies, “I didn’t think I would either.” 

“Well, if it’s okay with you, we can continue doing therapy here. It’s not a problem, okay?” 

Tobin nods. “Yeah, that would be good,” 

“Would you mind if we brought over some equipment to get into our next phase?” 

“No, not at all,” Tobin agrees. 

“Great,” Robin nods. “Now, you’re getting a little pressed for time to make your next appointment, so can I see your stomach real quick and get you ready to go?” 

“Yeah, should I sit or?” Tobin questions. 

“Just lay here for now and let me see, then we’ll decide okay?” Robin smiles as she puts on a pair of latex gloves. 

Tobin nods and arches her back a little as Robin lifts her shirt. Tobin closes her eyes and focuses on breathing slowly and evenly. 

“It’s nice and clean but we’re going to put some antibiotics on this lower half and then wrap it.” Robin announces quietly. “This may sting a little bit.” 

Tobin nods and winces as she feels pressure on the raw wound. 

“Okay, now let’s sit up,” Robin instructs. She helps Tobin swing her legs over the side of the bed and locks wrists with her and raises her up slowly. Robin unrolls a layer of gauze and gently places it on her wound. 

“Okay, Tobin, deep breath and then release and hold it.” She commands. Tobin inhales and lets her breath out as Robin takes an elastic bandage wrapping it around her sternum down to her abdominals. 

“Leave it on overnight, I’ll check it and change it tomorrow, okay?” Robin smiles. 

“Do you think you can use your crutches now?” Allie asks. “Robin brought a wheelchair if you think you can’t. I don’t know how much walking you’ll need to do at this place.” 

Tobin considers it. “Can I try to just get to the kitchen? The we can decide?” 

Robin nods. “Sounds fair,” 

They give her a hand up off the bed and watch her closely as she slowly crutches out of her bedroom, down the hall and to the island in the kitchen. 

“I think I need the chair,” Tobin admits wiping a patch of sweat off her forehead from her exertions. 

“It’s just for now, sweetie,” Robin lays a hand on her shoulder, “you’ll bounce back.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods as she swallows the lump forming in her throat. Just for now, she repeats to herself. 

Kling slides a smoothie over to Tobin. “Thanks so much,” she says gratefully as she takes it in her hand. 

Kling sends a wink back at her as she starts putting containers back in the fridge. 

“Here’s your wallet, phone and a hat.” Allie says as she places them on the counter. “Do you have your insurance cards in there?” 

“Yeah, I’m set.” Tobin says around the straw she’s sucking on. 

“We should leave in five minutes, okay?” Allie asks. 

Tobin nods. 

“I’m going to head out,” Robin announces, “I’ll be back with some equipment. Do you care where we put it? Living room or second bedroom?” 

“Living room is fine, more space.” Tobin offers. 

“Alright,” Robin says as she heads for the door, “if I don’t see you later, I’ll be back about nine o’clock tomorrow, okay?”

“Sounds good,” Tobin says, “thanks for everything.”

Allie and Kling say goodbye as she exits. 

“I’m going to hang out and help them bring the stuff in, Brit’s making a veggie lasagna tonight, you want some?” Kling asks. “Nevermind, we’re having dinner with you. We’ll bring it up.” She says with a dismissive wave of her hand. 

“You’ve got stuff for a salad so we’ll have that, too.” Kling announces. 

“Alright Harry, let’s roll!” she grins as she brings the wheelchair to her. 

 

**

 

The office is located in a highrise in downtown Portland in the financial district. It has multiple businesses listed on the board in the lobby. Allie selects the seventh floor which opens to a spacious lobby area. 

A woman behind a desk rises and walks over to greet them. 

“Tobin Heath?” she inquires. 

“Yes ma’am,” Tobin replies. Her foot begins twitching. 

“My name is Carol. Won’t you both please follow me.” She directs pleasantly and leads them through a doorway down a hallway. They pass multiple closed doors until Carol opens the fifth one and enters. 

“Please sit anywhere you’d like and make yourselves comfortable. Your nurse will be in shortly to complete some paperwork before Dr. Thomas sees you.” She gestures with her arm into the large space.

The first item Tobin notices is the artwork on the walls. It’s all photos and paintings of forest scenes. Then she looks at the furniture. In one corner is a desk with two plush leather chairs in front of it. To the right along the wall is a long couch with a coffee table. Opposite of the coffee table are comfortable chairs facing in on angles. 

Lastly, four chairs are arranged in a semi-circle facing the glass window that shows a magnificent view of Mt. Hood. 

“Where do you want to sit, Har?” Allie asks quietly. 

Tobin surprises herself by answering she wants to sit at the desk area. 

Silently Allie wheels her over to the left chair. Tobin rises to get out and Allie offers a hand for her unsteady legs and eases her gently into the chair. Both of their heads swivel when they hear the door open and a woman enters. 

She’s wearing a polo shirt and slacks and moves to stand between them. “Tobin?” she asks as she eyes both of them. 

“That’s me,” Tobin replies. 

“Hi, I’m Nancy, a nurse here. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She says shaking hands. She turns to Allie. 

Allie stands up, “Allie,” reaching to shake her hand. 

“Nancy. Nice to meet you as well.” She smiles. 

“We have to do a little paperwork, if you don’t mind.” Nancy explains as she hands a clipboard to Tobin. “Do you have your ID and insurance cards?” 

“Yes,” Tobin says reaching for her wallet. She hands them over. 

“Thanks,” Nancy says as she moves to the desk. “I’m just going to scan these and get you into the system. While I do that, would you please fill out those forms? The last three pages are privacy policies and a confidentiality agreement with our staff and just need your signature.” 

With the quiet clicking of Nancy at the keyboard, Tobin fills out the forms and signs to the other pages. When she completes it, Allie hands Nancy the clipboard. 

“I’ll just scan these and be out of your hair.” Nancy says as she runs the papers through a desktop scanner. 

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Nancy says as she stands. “So, Dr. Thomas sees an array of clients. Many of them are very high profile politicians, CEOs, athletes and professionals. She has set up her practice to offer the most privacy possible. You’ll notice there isn’t a waiting room. There are four rooms for meetings for your privacy. We strive for our patients to never meet in the hallways, lobby or even in the building. Building security is high to avoid media. On your next visit, you’ll see Carol at the front to check in and she’ll direct you to a room. I might pop in on your visit occasionally. Any questions?” 

Tobin and Allie shakes their heads. 

“Okay,” Nancy smiles as she grabs the clipboard, “Dr. Thomas will be in shortly.” She exits the room. 

Tobin and Allie look at each other. “This is impressive, Tobin.” Allie says. “So, listen, I don’t need to be here if you want. I can wait in the car. I don’t want to invade your privacy.” 

“You know, Al,” Tobin says quietly, “after this morning, I think I’d like to you stay, if you don’t mind.” 

Allie nods. 

“I just,” Tobin clears her throat, “I’m kind of all over the place right now.” She looks down at her thumping foot. She puts her other foot on top of it trying to get it to stop. 

Allie reaches over and touches Tobin’s forearm, “anytime kiddo.” 

The door opens and a tall woman enters. She’s wearing a white doctor’s coat and has a file folder in her hands. Quickly she’s in front of the two girls. Allie helps Tobin stand up as they face the doctor. 

“Dr. Thomas, please call me Jen.” She says as she shakes Allie’s hand. 

“Allie Batista, nice to meet you.” 

“You must be Tobin,” Jen says, as she takes her outstretched hand in hers. “I’m glad to meet you.” 

“Same here,” Tobin replies. 

“Have a seat,” Jen gestures. “Would you like something to drink? Water, juice, soda?” she offers. 

“A water please,” Allie replies. She looks at Tobin. Tobin is staring at the doctor. 

“Tobin!” she says sharply. 

“What?” she jumps. 

“Do you want something to drink?” 

“Oh, um, a water would be great, thanks.” Tobin says quietly. As Jen hands it to her Tobin speaks up again. “I’m sorry for staring but you look just like one of my friends.” 

Jen leans on her desk. “Let me guess,” she smiles, “Lauren Holiday?”

“Yeah!” Tobin smiles and laughs. 

“Holy shit,” Allie says as she realizes how much the doctor looks like Cheney. 

Jen laughs, “Let me tell you, 2015 was a good year for me as well. Free drinks, dinners, people wanted my autograph.” 

“Really?” Tobin asks. 

“Yeah, I can’t tell you how many times people wanted to know if I was getting traded to come play for the Thorns.” She shakes her head. 

They all laugh quietly. 

“So, before we really start,” Jen says as she removes her coat and lays it on the back of her chair. “I’d like to say that I’ve never been vetted and interviewed by anyone as thoroughly as Alex Morgan.”

Tobin and Allie lean back in their seats with their eyes wide open. 

“Uh…” Tobin stutters. 

“No, I think it was great,” Jen reassures. “I wish everyone had a friend or family member that would take the time to learn about a possible therapist. The trust that’s required between us is very important.” 

She makes her way to the front of her desk and hops up on it. “Although, I should have asked her for her endorsement. I could have put it on my business cards. ‘Finally, a therapist who doesn’t have a stick up her ass- Alex Morgan.’”

“She didn’t,” Tobin says with her hands in her head shaking it. 

“She did.” Jen confirms, smiling. “But like I said, it’s a very good thing.” She leans forward. “We’ve got some work to do together Tobin and the sooner we can earn each other’s trust, the more time we can tackle the rough stuff and get you to a better place.” 

Tobin nods. “Yeah,” she likes Jen already. 

Allie is nodding beside her. 

“So, with that said, let’s get to it a little, okay?” Jen says as she sits cross legged on her desk. She nods to the file next to her. “I am a bit familiar with what happened through the media reports. We’ll get to talking about everything soon. What I’d like to know is what is going on you with right now. What do you feel you need to address first?” 

“I freaked out today.” Tobin surprises herself saying. “I was supposed to go to Providence Park for therapy and I couldn’t go in there. I freaked out and scared my friends and myself.” 

“What upset you about being at Providence Park Tobin?” Jen asks quietly. 

“Allison. I know she’s dead but I was seeing her and flashing back to my attack and she hurt me and I freaked out. I was out of control.” Tobin says, her voice shaking. 

“Allison worked there, right?” Jen speaks softly, “so when you got there this morning, you started having memories of your attack and you had to leave?”

“Yeah,” Tobin says, tears forming. 

“That was a trigger. Were you feeling okay up until that point?” she asks. 

Tobin thinks for a moment. “No. Coffee.” 

Allie is looking at her curiously. 

“Kling asked me if I wanted coffee.” Tobin explains. “Allison asked me that in the car that morning. I started feeling nervous and my foot thing started.” 

Jen nods. “So, what happened after that?” 

“I told Kling I couldn’t go in and got back in the car. I was crying and seeing Allison and repeating what happened. It was awful, I feel so bad for Kling.” 

“Where did Kling take you?” Jen inquires. 

“Back to my place,” Tobin says. “But I ran from her and locked myself in my room.” 

“You were scared?” 

“Terrified. I didn’t know what to do.” Tobin nods and takes a drink of water. She once again placesher foot on top of her thumping one to quiet it down. 

“At any point was there something you did that calmed you down a little?” Jen asks. 

“I…” Tobin looks off, remembering. “I chanted, I think, in my mind.”

“Do you remember the chant?” Jen raises an eyebrow. 

“I’m safe, Allison is dead, she can’t hurt me.” Tobin’s voice trembles a little. 

Jen smiles. “That’s a very good start Tobin.” 

“It is?” Tobin asks with wide eyes. 

“Tobin, do you ever do mental visualizations before a game? Map out game scenarios and how you’ll react and overcome them?” Jen asks. 

“Yeah, every game,” Tobin says slowly. 

“So, your chant was kind of like that. Your mind found something to latch onto to calm itself and make you feel better. The reaction of fear and terror to trauma is real. It’s normal. It doesn’t mean you are weak or crazy. It just means that you experienced a trauma and from the bit I’m aware of, it was extremely physical, sexual and mental.” She takes a sip of her water, “We’re going to look at the cues that can trigger your fears. We’re going to look at your fear reactions and give you skills to help control your fear physically and mentally. We’re going to work on desensitizing your trauma and we’re going to help you apply your skills so you can overcome some of those triggers.” 

Tobin just looks at her. 

“I’m not saying this will be easy. Some days you might feel a little raw. But we will get there.”

Tobin nods. “I’ve got to put in the work to get the payoff,” 

“Exactly. I’m here to teach you those skills and recognize when you’re in trouble.” Jen smiles. “Sound good?”

“Yeah,” Tobin breathes out as she nods. 

“Alright, Providence Park. What can we do to lessen the issues there?” Jen asks. 

“Well, for right now, we’re going to continue my physical therapy at my place so I don’t have to go back.” Tobin explains. 

“That’s a good quick fix but, we’ll need to get a game plan when the times comes for you to go back. Keep me in the loop on that, okay?” 

“Will do,” Tobin replies. 

“Okay, that’s it for today. Let me leave you with this: when you recognize your fear, remember your chant. Try your best to not let it escalate. If you can, remove yourself from the environment safely to calm yourself down. If you’re with a friend or someone, communicate to them that you’re having an issue. Before you go out, envision any triggers you might stumble across, develop a plan on how to deal with them.” 

“Sounds good.”

“Good,” Jens says as she slides off her desk. “Get a card from Carol, if you think twice or three times a week to start would work for you, I’d recommend it. Make you next appointments with her. She’ll give you a folder with our practice information and copies of documents you signed. Being an athlete, I’m sure you’d like some sort of routine. So, let’s set one up, alright?” she smiles as she shakes Tobin’s and Allie’s hands. 

“Thank you,” Tobin says. 

“Thank you.” Jen says as she nears the door. “The first step is the hardest.” She exits.

Silently Allie helps Tobin into the wheelchair and wheels her out to the lobby. Tobin and Carol set up her appointments and soon they are back in Allie’s car. They are halfway back to Tobin’s apartment when Allie finally speaks. 

“Okay, I just gotta say it: Dr. Thomas is pretty fucking cool!” 

Tobin is nodding with her. “Yeah and I can’t believe how much she looks like Cheney.” She smiles. 

“But she also reminds me of Julie,” Allie adds. 

Tobin looks at her. 

“Foudy.” 

A slow smile spreads across Tobin’s face. “Yeah, yeah, I can see that.” 

For now, Tobin will be seeing Dr. Thomas on Mondays and Thursdays. She’ll have time to shower and nap after her therapy and then be back home for dinner. 

As they sit in some light traffic, Tobin yawns and lays her head back on the headrest. 

“Tired?” Allie asks quietly. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs, “I’m not used to this emotional stuff. Takes a lot out of me.” 

She shuts her eyes to rest for a moment, then quickly opens them and fumbles for her phone. 

“What are you doing?” Allie asks. 

“I want to text Kate,” Tobin explains as she pulls up her thread with Kate. 

Tobin: Jen Thomas is super cool. How’s your day going? Thinking of you. 

 

**

“Thanks so much for dinner, I really appreciate it.” Tobin says as she wipes her mouth with a napkin. 

“Glad you liked it,” Brit smiles as she takes the plates to rinse them before putting them in the dish washer.

During dinner with Brittani and Kling, Tobin shared with them about her first meeting with Jen and how energized she felt. “I feel like I might be able to get a handle on this. It’s not gonna beat me.” She had said as they ate. 

“Just make sure you stay at your own pace and don’t try to rush, okay?” Kling says quietly. 

“I won’t,” Tobin replies. Kling arches an eyebrow. “I won’t!” Tobin repeats. “I promise,” she adds softly. 

“I know, Tobs, it’s just,” Kling says, pausing, “I just never want to see you that scared again, okay?”

Tobin nods. “I’m sor-“

Kling puts her hand up. “I know, I know. Just… take it slow.”

Tobin bit her lower lip as she nods. She still feels guilty for scaring Kling so bad. She knows she has to get over it but it nags at her. She clears her throat and looks up at the two of them. 

“I’ve got Dove bars in the freezer,” she smiles. 

A little while later after assuring them she could manage getting to bed on her own, Tobin settles on her couch with the folder she received from Carol. As she opens it, she discovers a sheet of recommended reading. Browsing through the list of books, she mentally notes to check them out on Amazon tomorrow. She reviews the other papers and nods. She’ll file the confidentiality agreement in a folder at her desk. She’ll make sure she scans it and sends a copy to her lawyer and agent. She’s been in touch with them since she’s been home, her lawyer uncomfortably asking her if she wanted to file a lawsuit against Allison’s estate. 

She struggled with that for a few days. Asking her Mom and Perry for their opinions. She had a long talk with Alex and another with Mark, her coach. She called Lauren and prayed with her. 

She had called her lawyer back and stated she would want restitution for her medical bills and lost wages from missing National Team call ups. He persuaded her to add a pain and suffering codicil telling her legally it was the smart thing to do. 

Feeling she had accomplished what she needed to for the night, she grabs her crutches and makes her way to her bedroom. Pulling out a sleep shirt and shorts and throwing them on her bed, she heads to the bathroom to begin her nightly routine.

Once she’s settled in bed, she realizes she hadn’t heard from Kate. Figuring Kate feel asleep and dealing with a headache, she decides to text her in the morning. She sets her alarm and removes her glasses, putting both on her nightstand. She clicks the light off and snuggles on her side and slowly falls asleep.


	18. Therapy, Scares, Hard Work and Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin continues her therapy and finds out what's going on with Kate.

When Tobin awakes she feel refreshed. She stretches in her bed and feels as if her legs were lighter. Not heavy as if she played a full game the night before. Her stomach still pulls at her wound but the wrap really helps. She grabs her phone and sends Kate a good morning text and then throws her glasses on and heads to the bathroom. 

After she’s dressed and just finishing her breakfast, a knock at the door signals Robin’s arrival. 

“Good morning!” Robin greets as Tobin lets her in. “How are you doing today?” 

“I feel pretty good,” Tobin smiles. 

“Ready to get to it?” Robin asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods. 

“Why don’t you throw on a good playlist and we’ll start with some stretching, yeah?” 

Tobin grabs her phone and pulls up one of her workout playlists and turns on her sound system. Then they start for the day. 

Tobin is just finishing a salad that Robin had brought with her when a knock at the door interrupts their conversation. It’s Brittani who announces that she’s hanging out for a bit. 

“I need to stop looking at a computer screen for a few hours,” she explains. 

“Well, Tobin is just finishing up. We’re going to do some cool down stretches and then she gets a massage.” Robin states. She looks at Tobin. “You’re okay with that?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says suddenly grateful for Brit’s presence. “I’m cool,”

After cool down, Robin unfolds a chair massage chair and helps Tobin position herself in it. Brit grabs Tobin’s phone and changes the music to a quieter selection of songs. Tobin is relaxed as Robin works her shoulder and back muscles. 

“Tobin,” Robin says quietly, “Would you feel okay getting up on the massage table?” 

Tobin’s head pops up. “Uh, sure,” she says as she slowly gets out of the chair. 

“Would laying on your back be okay?” Robin asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin breathes out. “Let’s try it,” I’m safe, Allison is dead. She can’t hurt me, Tobin begins to silently repeat in her head. 

Once positioned, Robin begins to massage her legs. Oh, that feels really good, Tobin thinks to herself. It takes some time but eventually she relaxes, occasionally repeating her chant. 

“Now,” Robin says, “Can we try you laying on your stomach? I’ve brought some pads we can position on your chest and waist that should take pressure off your wound.” She suggests. 

Tobin rolls over and they position the pads and Tobin is surprised to find herself comfortable on the table. 

“How is it?” Robin asks.  


“Feels good,” she replies as Robin begins to work her leg muscles. “Can you leave these here? I’d love to be able to sleep on my stomach again.”

Tobin almost moans out with how good it feels to have her muscles worked deeply. She would typically get massages a few times a week in season so it’s a very natural thing for her. This one feels like the best she’s ever had. She’s so relaxed, she’s almost drifting off to sleep. 

“Okay, that’s it for today,” Robin announces as she pats the back of Tobin’s calf. 

Tobin sleepily raises her head and grins at Robin, “that was wonderful,” she says. 

Robin smiles. “You want to shower and then I can change your bandage?”

“Yeah, it feels really good with the wrap job, by the way.”

“Good!” Robin replies as she helps Tobin off the table. “Are your legs like jello?” 

“Nah, they feel pretty good,” Tobin says as she heads to her bedroom. She grabs her crutches as she goes. 

“Need a hand?” Brita asks.

“Maybe just hang in my room, just in case?” Tobin suggests. 

After a successful shower and Robin’s departure, Tobin and Brit sit on the couch. Tobin’s trying to find something to watch on TV. She stops on a random channel and looks at Brit. 

“I got a little nervous with the massage. Being on my back.” She admits. 

“You looked pretty relaxed,” Brit offers. 

“I was chanting that I was safe. You being here really helped,” Tobin explains. “Thanks a lot.” 

“I’m feeling a vegan burger would go a long way to repay me,” Brit grins. 

“Well I want meat but you like that one place, right?” Tobin asks as she reaches for her phone. 

As she slides it on, she realizes she never heard back from Kate today. That’s odd, she thinks. 

She texts her again quickly, just shooting off a hey there and then pulls up her app to order some food. 

She hands her phone to Brit so she can place her order. “Order something for Megan too,” 

“Team dinner,” Brit shakes her head. 

“Oh,” Tobin says, missing her teammates instantly. 

Kate pops back into Tobin’s mind. It’s really unlike her not to get back to me, Tobin thinks. We’re fine, I didn’t say anything to piss her off did I, she wonders. 

Brit nudges her, “What’s up?” 

Tobin furrows her brow, “I haven’t heard from Kate in a while and I’m starting to get worried.” 

Brit shrugs, “Maybe call her after we eat?”

“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “I will.” 

“You know,” Brit says as she finishes chewing a bite of her burger, “I didn’t see you use your crutches all day.” 

“Yeah, the legs are feeling pretty good.” Tobin says, “I’m not going to be silly about it, but around the house is good.” 

They hang out for a little while after eating and soon, Brit gets up. “I don’t think we’re going out or anything, so I’ll be downstairs if you need anything. Just call.” Britt says as she leaves.

Tobin nods, “I’m good, but I’ll definitely call if I need to. Thanks again,”

Tobin is sitting at her island with her phone in her hands. She dials Kate’s number. 

“Hello? Tobin?” a male voice answers. 

“Uh, is Kate there?” Tobin asks, glancing down to make sure she dialed correctly. 

“Yeah, it’s Jake. Kate’s brother.” 

“Is everything okay?” Tobin asks worriedly. 

“Uh, now it is,” Jake breathes out. 

“What’s going on?” Tobin asks nervously. 

“Well, she told me you knew she was having a headache, right?” Jake says slowly. “Ended up it was an aneurysm.” 

“Oh my God!” Tobin exclaims as she fumbles the phone nearly dropping it. “Is she okay?” 

“She’s not awake yet from surgery but the doctors feel it was a success.” Jake replies shakily. 

“Jake, I’m so sorry, I know you’re Dad…” Tobin starts. 

“I know,” he says quietly. “They went through the base of her neck and didn’t have to crack open her skull. It’s actually called a Subarachnoid Hemorrhage. Spinal fluid was building up causing the headache and the clot was the cause of the eye problems. They got it in time. Now we wait and see if there are any lingering deficits.” He finishes shakily. 

“But, but, they think she’s going to be okay, right?” Tobin asks quickly. 

“Yeah, but there’s always some risks.” Jake replies. 

They’re both silent for a moment. 

“Jake, are you okay?” Tobin asks quietly.

“I’m scared shitless, Tobin,” he laughs nervously. “But, she’ll pull through. She’s strong. Her vital signs are good.” 

Tears are forming in Tobin’s eyes, “I knew she had a headache but I should-“

“Tobin,” Jake cuts her off. “Playing shoulda coulda woulda is just going to drive you insane. These things just happen, okay? Let’s just roll with the punches and we’ll be alright.” He comforts her. 

“Yeah,” she sniffs out and takes a deep breath. “Can I do anything? For you? Do you need something to eat or?” 

“I’m good, thanks,” Jake replies. “My wife is here pushing food and water down my throat.” 

“Okay,” Tobin says. She feels gutted. Helpless. 

“How about I call you tomorrow and give you an update?” Jake asks sweetly. 

“I would really, really appreciate that.” Tobin breathes out, not realizing she was holding her breath. 

“Okay,” Jake says. “Don’t worry, she’s gonna be fine. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?” 

“Yeah, right,” Tobin says nodding. “She’s gonna be fine,” 

“I’ll call you as soon as I know something, okay?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, “thanks for talking with me and letting me know.” 

“Of course, I’ll talk to you later,” 

“Alright, bye,” Tobin sins off. 

“Bye, champ,” Jake ends the call. 

Tobin sits at her island, holding her phone in her hand. Staring at it. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She dials. 

“Allie?” she croaks, her voice betraying her emotions. 

“What’s wrong Harry?” Allie says, instantly concerned. 

“Kate,” Tobin’s voice wavers, “Kate’s in the hospital, she had an aneurysm, they did surgery, they think she’ll be okay but they don’t know and she’s not awake yet and I don’t know what to do.” Tobin’s emotions are rising and her foot is starting to thump against the island. 

“Okay, okay,” Allie soothes, “just breathe a little. Take some deep breaths.” 

Tobin inhales and exhales as she tries to settle herself down. “Okay,” she says. 

“Where are you?” Allie asks. 

“I’m home.” 

“Okay, so tell me how you found out?” 

Tobin repeats her conversation with Jake. 

“So, he said the doctors thought it was a success,” Allie reasons. “that’s awesome.” 

“Yeah, but there’s risks,” Tobin argues. “He said there could be def-, deficits.”

“They have to say that, Tobin,” Allie soothes, “she’s going to be alright,” 

“I really hope so,” Tobin sniffs. 

“Do you want to stay over?” Allie asks. 

“No,” Tobin replies. She just wants to be alone and not under anyone’s watchful eyes. “I’ll be okay,” 

“You sure?” Allie asks slowly, “it’s not a problem,” 

“Nah, I’m just gonna journal for a bit and then go to bed,” Tobin replies. 

“Maybe you should take one of those Valiums they gave you,” Allie suggests. 

“Nah,” Tobin says. “I’ll just chill, I’ll be good. Thanks for talking with me. I really appreciate it.” 

“Tobs,” Allie sighs.

“I’m not going to do anything stupid, Al.” Tobin declares. 

“Alright,” Allie says. “Goodnight,” 

“’Night,” Tobin signs off. She lets out a sigh and looks around her place. Poor Kate. This sucks. I hope everything works and she’ll be fine. She gets up and walks over to her bookshelf and opens an ornate carved stone box. She removes her dugout and a lighter and heads over to her patio. I just need to chill, she thinks. 

She sits down in one of her patio chairs and looks out across the city. She takes a quick hit and sits back for a few minutes. Kate will be alright. Would it be too soon to visit her tomorrow in the hospital? Should I bring her something? Like flowers? Does she like flowers? Did she have flowers at her house? Her house is amazing. I’d like to really look at her photos and her sports memorabilia. I wonder what Jake does? Does he work? I wonder what her father’s company was called. I wonder how much it was worth. Maybe Jake doesn’t have to work. 

Why does my foot twitch when I’m nervous? How did that happen? How can I stop it? I’ll have to ask Jen about it. I need to check out those books they recommended. 

With that, she takes another hit and heads in. She puts her dugout and lighter away, finds her iPad and pulls up Amazon. She retrieves the list from her desk and crawls into bed. She spends some time reading the reviews of the recommended books and selects four she thinks would be interesting. As she clicks to place her order, she nods knowing she should receive them Thursday. 

Getting a little sleepy, she gets up and prepares for bed. When she’s finished, she snuggles under her covers, sets her alarm and clicks the bedside light off. 

Sleep comes almost immediately. 

As she lets Robin in the next morning, she informs her that she’s expecting an important phone call that she will need to take. Tobin is tense, nervous and hopeful Jake will call soon. She repeatedly takes deep breaths to calm herself down. If Robin notices her demeanor, she doesn’t acknowledge it. 

As she is finishing her warm up stretches, a knock at her door interrupts them. Robin answers it and when she returns, she sees Sinc trailing along behind her carrying two big bags of ice. 

“Hey!” Tobin greets, wrapping her in a hug, “How are you?” 

“Alright,” Christine replies gesturing to her left foot incased in a walking boot. “I took a knock yesterday so I was sent to see Robin.” 

“Is it bad?” Tobin winces as she asks. 

“I don’t think so, but it does hurt.” Sinc replies. “I don’t think I’ll need an X-ray or anything.”

“Well, glad to have the company,” Tobin grins, “Robin can be a real task master one on one.” 

“Hey now,” Robin grins. “You ain’t seen nothing yet!” 

Robin directs Tobin to put on a heart rate monitor and warm up on the stationary bike and SInc onto the massage table so she can evaluate her ankle. She then takes the ice and disappears into Tobin’s room and returns quickly. 

Soon Robin is giving Sinc an ultrasound treatment on her ankle and Tobin’s a sweaty mess from pedaling. Robin glances at her tablet that has been monitoring Tobin’s workout and tells her to start cooling down. 

After completing Sinc’s treatment, Robin helps Tobin get off the bike. Her legs feel like jello and she’s unsteady. 

“Totally to be expected,” Robin tells her. “I had you do three miles to start and we’ll see how you feel. If we have to back off, that’s fine.” She helps Tobin make her way to the floor mat and begin her cool down stretches. She leaves and heads to Tobin’s room and returns with an ice bag for Sinc’s ankle. 

“Let’s ice for a little bit’” she suggests. 

SInc is laying on the table with her foot elevated and the ice bag firmly attached around her ankle. 

“Tobin,” she says quietly, “Have you heard how Kate’s doing?” 

Tobin gives her a confused look. 

“Allie called me last night.” She explains. 

“Not yet.” Tobin bites her lower lip. 

Sinc nods her head. “I’m sorry,” 

Tobin looks at Robin, “A friend of mine is in the hospital, she had an aneurysm and had surgery yesterday. I haven’t heard yet how she’s doing.” 

Robin nods, “Oh, that’s awful. I’m sorry. I hope she’s okay,” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says as she swallows the lump in her throat. 

After a few minutes of discussing the upcoming game, Robin unwraps the ice bag from Sinc’s ankle, wraps her ankle in an elastic wrap and has her put the boot back on. She gets Tobin up on the table for an ultrasound treatment on her legs. 

“No massage?” Tobin asks. 

“Today, ultrasound. Tomorrow, massage.” 

As Robin completes the ultrasound, she looks at the two girls. “How about we eat lunch and then you can finish with an ice bath.” 

Both groan at the thought but nods their heads dutifully. 

“I don’t even know what I have in my fridge,” Tobin mutters as she crutches over to the kitchen. She opens the fridge to look around. She sees a covered Pyrex container with a note on it that says ‘eat before Thursday’ in a loopy writing. 

She brings it out and inspects it. She looks up at Sinc and Robin. “Is this Sonnett’s Mom’s chicken alfredo?” 

Sinc’s eyes go wide and Robin smiles. “It sure is. There’s garlic bread too.” 

“Is today a cheat day?” Sinc asks. 

Robin grins. “Yeah, for your hurt ankle and Tobin needs to fatten up a little.” She looks at her. “Do you know you’ve lost almost fifteen pounds?” 

“I had no idea.” Tobin shakes her head. She slides the glass dish into her oven and looks for the garlic bread. 

Her phone rings and she lunges for it. Kate. Sinc waves her away from the kitchen and Tobin uses one crutch as she answers the phone and goes into her bedroom. 

“Jake?” she asks. 

“Why would my brother be using my phone to talk to you?” Kate’s scratchy voice says. “Please don’t tell me he’s flirting with you.”

“It’s you!” Tobin breathes out. “You’re okay?” 

“Yeah, pretty good, all things considered.” Kate answers. Tobin can hear the smile coming through the phone. 

“I’m so happy.” Tobin’s voice wavers. “I was so scared for you.” 

“Honestly, I was so out of it, I wasn’t scared at all.” Kate answers. “My head hurt so much I couldn’t think to be scared.” 

“How are you feeling now?” 

“My neck is a little sore from the incision and I have to wear a stupid neck brace for a few days. But no headache, No light sensitivity. They have to do some tests later today to establish my field of vision, but other than that, I’m good.” 

“Where are you?” Tobin asks. 

“Uh, University.” Kate replies. “They transferred me here.” 

“Would it be okay if I came to see you tonight? I mean, if you’re tired or something, I totally get it, it can wait or if family comes first-“ Tobin rambles. 

“I want to see you.” Kate cuts her off. 

“You do?” Tobin breathes out. 

“Yeah, ya goof,” Kate laughs, “I do. Tonight. Can you come?” 

“Yeah! Sure!” Tobin exclaims. “Can I bring you anything?” 

“I’m good for now.” Kate replies. “But maybe I can count on a salmon dinner soon?”

“Absolutely! Anything you want.” Tobin says quickly. “What time should I come?”

“Anytime after six thirty would be perfect.” Kate says. “Room 442.” 

“Okay, I’ll be there.” Tobin promises. 

“Good, I’m going to eat something and then take a nap before I have to get my tests done.” 

“Okay, sounds good.” Tobin says. She can’t stop smiling. “I’ll see you later.” 

“Bye, champ.” 

“Bye!” Tobin grins as she ends the call. 

She sits on her bed smiling to herself. She heaves herself off the mattress and grabs her crutch and heads back to the kitchen. 

SInc is just plating the dishes and Robin is getting the garlic bread out of the oven. Both look up as Tobin as she nears them. Sinc raises her eyebrows. 

Tobin is grinning wildly at them. “I just talked to her. She sounds great!” 

Sinc moves around the island and gives Tobin a tight hug. “I’m so glad. So glad.” She says. She pulls back, keeping her hands on Tobin’s shoulders looking her in the eyes. “I’m really happy for you,” she says warmly.  


“Thanks,” Tobin smiles. 

“Let’s eat!” Sinc squeezes her arms and releases her as she spins back to the table. She grabs the plates and Robin brings over glasses of water. 

“That’s great news, Tobin.” Robin smiles. 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees. “I’m going to see her tonight.” 

“I'll drive you wherever you need to go. I’ve got nothing going on.” Sinc offers. 

“Nah, I’ll just grab an Uber.” Tobin shakes her head. 

“What hospital is she in?” Sinc ignores her answer.

“University.” 

“That settles it. That’s on the way to my place. I’ll hang out here and drop you off. You will text me when you’re ready to go home and I will pick you pick and deliver you back here.” Sinc says. 

Tobin opens her mouth to argue but Sinc raises her hand to her. 

“Captain’s orders.” 

Tobin shuts her mouth and nods. She knows better not to argue. 

“Hhmmm,” Robin says as she eats, “maybe I should tell my kids I’m the Captain of the house.” She smiles. “Maybe they’ll clean their rooms without crying and carrying on.”

They share a laugh. 

“Okay, so how did Em’s Mom’s most awesome dish get in my house?” Tobin questions as they eat. 

“Maybe there’s a few things in the freezer at PP of some of your favorite dishes that the girls have made and insisted I bring over to feed you.” Robin explains. 

Tobin’s fork slips out of her hand. “Really?” she asks. She looks at Sinc, “Chris, they cooked for me?” she asks softly. 

Sinc leans over and places her hand on Tobin’s forearm. “Everyone just wants to help in any they can,” she says softly.

Tobin swallows down the lump forming in her throat. “That’s so sweet.” 

Sinc releases her hand and goes back to eating. Tobin grabs her fork and does the same. 

The trio discuss local news and trivial subjects for the remainder of the meal. Tobin refuses to let them do the dishes and instructs them to leave it. She states it’s part of her therapy to perform those tasks, grinning as she embellishes the positives of washing pans and plates. 

Robin heads to Tobin’s room and she can hear water running. She turns to Sinc. “Are you doing an ice bath?” 

“Yeah, not sure if it’s whole legs or just the ankle though.” She replies. 

“Did you bring clothes?”

“Yeah, they’re in my bag. I’m set.” Sinc confirms. 

“Oh ladies,” Robin calls out. Towels in hand. “Legs for both you. Eight minutes.” 

Tobin grabs her crutches. Her legs are feeling fatigued. 

Robin has used Tobin’s whirlpool bath that they both can easily fit in for the treatment. After shedding their shoes and socks, they swing their legs over and sink into the icy water. Robin goes to the living room to reset the equipment and pack up for the day. 

Hugging herself Sinc looks at Tobin.

“What?” Tobin asks. Christine is chewing on her cheek as she looks at her. 

“Tobin, I want you to think about something, okay?” she asks. Her tone is serious. “I mean, I don’t want an answer right now. I really want you to seriously think about this and we can talk about it later.”

Tobin nods, having no clue what she could possibly be talking about. 

“So, the team is struggling a little,” Sinc starts, “not on the field completely, but mostly off the field. I spoke with Mark and I think I know a big part of the issue.” 

Tobin nods again, feeling apprehensive.

“The girls want to see you.” Sinc blurts out. “They miss you. They only hear from a few of us about how you’re doing. I don’t want to bring it up, but the last time they saw you was pretty horrible.” 

Oh, Tobin thinks. The FaceTime call with Allie. I get it now. She hangs her head. “I should be calling every one of them. I’ve been so selfish.” 

“No, no, no!” Sinc exclaims. She jerks forward and they both gasp from the icy water hitting warm skin. 

“It’s not that,” she says, “I swear.” She holds her hand to her heart. “Everyone understands you’ve needed time.” She pauses. “I think it would do wonders for them to see you now, up and about and talking and doing well. With you not around PP, it makes it so different.” 

Tobin looks at her. 

“I think a team get together at my house would be a great place for you to see everyone. No public, just team. I just want you to think about when you feel like you would be okay with that. You would have at least two weeks to think about it. This week is out, we’ve got stuff almost every evening and next week is an away game.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says. “Yeah, I’d really like to see them all.” She smiles. “That’s a great idea Cap.” 

“Good, so I’ll tell them you’re excited for it and we’ll work on a day that’s good. We should have some time off after the away game so one of those days would be good.” 

“Yeah, I still get the travel emails and stuff so we’ll figure out a date. Can I insist on one thing, though?” Tobin asks. 

The timer goes off and they slowly get out of the bath. 

“Sure anything.” Sinc says as she dries off. 

“I pay for all the food and drinks.” Tobin states firmly. 

Sinc looks at her and sees the determination in Tobin’s eyes. She nods. She understands. 

“That’s fine.” She holds up her hand. “But the team picks the food!” she grins. 

“Whatever!” Tobin pushes her shoulder. 

They come out to the living room where Robin is collecting her bag and her purse. 

“Look at those nice, red legs!” she exclaims and laughs. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” 

“Thanks again for everything, Robin,” Tobin says as she crutches behind her to let her out. 

“Later!” Sinc yells. 

Yawning as she crutches back to the living room, Sinc regards her closely. 

“A nap sounds good to me. What time are you going to the hospital?” She asks. 

Looking at her watch Tobin calculates. “We can sleep until five. I need to shower before we go.” 

Sinc nods. 

“Come on,” Tobin jerks her head towards her room. “You won’t be comfortable on my couch. You’re too tall.” 

“Oh, I suppose dinner at Kate’s is off this week. We’ll find a time to reschedule,” Tobin comments. 

Sinc trails behind her and draws the blinds to darken the room as Tobin gets in bed. Once they’re both settled, Tobin says softly. “Hey Chris?”

“Yeah?” 

“Uh, will, you, uh,” Tobin stutters. 

Sinc rolls over and brings Tobin in close. “I’ve got you,” she says as she wraps her arms around her, mindful of her stomach. Tobin sighs as she rests her head on Sinc’s shoulder. 

Sinc slowly rubbing her back.

“Thanks,” she yawns. 

 

“Call me when you’re done and I’ll come get you.” Sinc orders as Tobin has one hand on the door of her car. 

“I will,” Tobin promises. “Thanks!” she gently shuts the door and crutches into the hospital. She’s wearing a light blue long sleeve button down with her ripped skinny jeans and a pair of sandals. She debated about a hat but her hair air dried okay so she went with it. Her legs feel better after the ice bath and napping, so she crutches along fairly easily. 

As she crutches to Kate’s room, she smiles. I’m so happy she’s okay. 

She lightly knocks on the door and hears “come in,” from inside. She enters and quickly looks for Kate. She’s lying in bed with the back elevated so she’s sitting up. She has on a plastic padded neck brace and an IV is sticking out of right hand. She looks pale. Like, deathly pale. Her complexion is light to begin with but she looks almost white. Her eyes are a little sunken in and but she’s smiling at Tobin. 

“Hey you!” she calls grinning and reaching her left hand out. 

“Hey,” Tobin smiles as she crutches over and takes her hand. 

Giving it a light squeeze, she asks, “How are you?” 

“I’m good now that you’re here!” Kate replies cheekily. 

“What kind of drugs do they have you on?” Tobin grins back at her. 

“The good kind, right Doc?” Kate grins to the woman sitting in a chair near the end of the bed. 

Tobin looks startled for a moment. She didn’t even notice someone else was in the room. All of her attention was directed to Kate. 

“Oh, hi!” she greets. 

The woman stands up and reaches out her hand, “Liz Berkin.” She’s taller than Tobin with long blond hair and wearing dress slacks and a blouse.

“Tobin Heath,” Tobin shakes her hand. 

“Actually, it’s Dr. Berkin and she’s one of my best friends.” Kate informs Tobin. 

Tobin nods and smiles, “It’s very nice to meet you,” she says to Liz. 

“Likewise, Tobin,” Liz smiles at Tobin warmly. “Kate doesn’t shut up about you. Nice to see you’re up and around.” 

“Thanks, I’m grateful to be around,” Tobin says quietly looking at Kate. 

“Me too,” Kate chimes in. 

The room is quiet for a moment, each of them reflecting on how just a few weeks ago, everything could have turned out much different. 

“So, uh,” Tobin starts, “are you okay? How did this happen?” 

“Sit,” Kate directs to the chair on her right alongside the bed. Liz is sitting on the left side at the same distance. Tobin notices the chairs are positioned that way so Kate doesn’t have to move her neck to converse and can maintain eye contact with the her and Liz. 

“After I spoke with you Sunday night, I did go right to sleep. But this headache was so intense, I was in so much pain, I knew something was wrong. I called Liz and by then I could barely speak. I remember her talking to me in my room and the next thing I remember is waking up here sometime during the night last night or this morning. Jake was here with his wife Cath and I remember they both looked so scared. I think I feel asleep after that. This morning was when the doctors filled me in on what happened.” 

Kate looks over to Liz who picks up the story. 

“So when Kate called me, I knew instantly something was very wrong. She was slurring her words, repeating herself and not making much sense. As I drove over to her house, I called 911 so they could meet me.” She stops to take a sip of her coffee. “By then, Kate was pretty much unconscious and couldn’t tell us much. I feared she had had a stroke or possibly an aneurysm.” 

Tobin moves her hand over and lightly grabs Kate’s calf as Liz speaks. 

“They transported her and I called ahead to the hospital. By the time we arrived and they did a first assessment, a chopper was ready to take her to University. Fred, our best neuro, was on vacation and I maybe, sorta, overrode policy a little and had her transferred here.”

Tobin raises her eyebrows and looks at Liz. 

“She doesn’t like the other neuro,” Kate explains. 

“He’s a dick and I didn’t want him to operate on my best friend. I was merely being a patient advocate.” Liz defends. 

“Well, I heard when you learned he was on call you said, ‘No way, not that motherfucker!’” Kate smiles. 

“Your brother tells lies.” Liz smiles. “Lies, I say.” She turns to Tobin, “Anyway, tests showed spinal fluid leakage and a catscan showed the aneurysm. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to hear they would go through the neck and work up instead of cracking open her stupid skull.” 

“Once they were positive the aneurysm was stable for the time being, she was scheduled as the first operation that morning. It was a four and a half hour surgery. The aneurysm was successfully repaired and the spinal fluid leak was patched. The doctors are happy and expect a full recovery.” Liz finishes and drinks her coffee. 

Tobin can’t speak. She’s staring at Liz with her mouth slightly open and fear in her eyes. 

“I’m okay, Tobin,” Kate says gently and reaches out her hand for Tobin to take. Tobin scoots her chair up a little so she can grab it. 

“Yeah.” Tobin breathes, letting out the breath she had been holding. She’s a mix of emotions and one that stands out is guilt. Guilt that her situation ended up putting Kate’s life at risk twice. First from responding to the call and getting shot and second, this new development. 

“Did, um, did the doctors think this happened because of, um, because of,” Tobin pauses, trying to stop stuttering, “what happened a few weeks ago?” 

Kate looks at Tobin with wide eyes. Holy shit, Kate thinks, does she think the whole deal with Allison led to this? Does she think she’s responsible? Does she feel guilty? Fuck! 

Liz can see both of the women struggling and intercepts them before either can speak. 

“Tobin, I spoke with the neuro here and asked the same thing.” She states. “He said that the possibility existed that it could have occurred when she answered the call. However, the fact that her gunshot wound never entered her cranial cavity, the odds seem low.” 

She clears her throat, “After speaking with him and consulting with our guy Fred, combined with Kate’s family history, we strongly feel she had this aneurysm for a long time. Possibly even was born with it.” 

Tobin swallows hard as she looks at Kate. Kate smiles at her. 

“Jake is getting a catscan tomorrow to see if he is carrying one.” She says quietly. “My grandpa died years ago and they never exactly knew the cause but looking back, it probably was an aneurysm as well.” 

“Wow,” is all Tobin can say as she squeezes Kate’s hand. 

“Yeah wow,” Kate smiles at her and squeezes back. 

Liz has a smug look on her face as she glances at the two of them. 

“So, Tobin,” she starts, “how are you doing?” 

Tobin jumps a little, shaken out of her reverie as she was staring at Kate. “Oh, I’m good,” she nods, “I’m feeling stronger a little more every day. I just started biking to ramp up my therapy, my eye bone is healing and so is the wound on my stomach.” 

“That’s good,” Liz nods, “really good,” she sips her coffee. “I understand you’re a soccer player.” 

“Yeah, I play for the Thorns,” Tobin replies. 

“And the National Team,” Kate adds. Tobin shrugs. 

“So, your doctors don’t think there’s any lingering tissue issues with your muscles?” Liz asks. 

“Liz!” Kate hisses, scowling at her. 

“What?” Liz asks. 

Tobin waves at her, “It’s fine,” she says, “as of now they don’t but it’s only my first few days of pushing the physical level. Before this, I was mostly stretching and doing band work. We’ll see in a few weeks if I plateau, but they’re feeling pretty good about it.” 

“Sorry,” Liz apologizes, “it’s a doctor thing. We ask about your business,” 

“It’s all good,” Tobin smiles. “Say, did you see me that day or?”

“Nah,” Liz replies, “you went straight here and Kate came to me. Our ER was loaded so we couldn’t take you both.” 

“Oh,” Tobin nods. 

“So yesterday was your first day back at Providence Park? How did it go?” Kate asks. 

“Um,” Tobin eyes cloud over a little, “yeah, so that didn’t go as planned.” She says as she shifts in her chair. “I kind of had a panic attack outside the doors and freaked out a little. I went back home.”

“Oh no!” Kate squeezes her hand. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Tobin gives her a small smile, “I met with Jen and got some ideas on how to work through it. I just feel bad because I really scared my friends. I’m doing my therapy at home still. I’m not ready to go back to Providence Park yet.”

Kate and Liz nod. 

“How do you like Jen?” Liz asks. “If you don’t mind my asking, she’s a friend.” 

“She’s super cool!” Tobin says grinning, “She reminds me of my friend Lauren and she talks like Julie Foudy.” 

Both Kate and Liz laugh, “Don’t tell her that!” Liz warns, “She’ll never stop about it!” 

“Yeah,” Kate says, “she’s a huge soccer fan. It’ll go right to her head!” 

“Really?” Tobin asks, “she didn’t mention it when we spoke.” 

“Oh Tobin, she’s not gonna bring that up during therapy unless it somehow relates to what you’re talking about. She’s a professional.” Liz explains. 

“We’ll get her over for a match at my place sometime and the two of you can talk.” Kate smirks. “She’ll be on cloud nine the whole time.” 

Tobin nods. “That’d be cool,” she agrees. “So, Liz, what type of doctor are you? Do you specialize?” 

“Yeah,” she nods, “I’m an ER doc, trauma specialist.” 

“Woah,” Tobin shakes her head, “That must be something, huh?” 

“Yeah, well, she’s an adrenaline junkie so that’s her fix,” Kate explains. “I won’t let her jump out of an airplane.” 

“Well, I’m sure there’s a lot of people who are thankful for your services.” Tobin says seriously. “I know I am,” 

Liz nods to Kate, “I knew I’d like her,” tilting her head at Tobin. “You’ve got a good one Kate, she’s cute too!”

Tobin blushes. Kate squeezes her hand. 

“Alright, so I’m gonna roll.” Liz says as she stands. “I’ve got early rounds tomorrow.” 

Tobin stands as well to face her. “It was very nice to meet you Liz, I hope to see you again soon,” 

“Nice to meet you as well Tobin,” Liz says as she nears her. “I’m going to give you a hug because I’ve never seen Kate happier than when she speaks about you,” Liz gives her a quick hug. “Okay, maybe when she talks about the Cubs winning the World Series but you know what I mean,” she laughs. 

Tobin grins at her. She’s pretty cool, she thinks.

Liz nears Kate’s bed and bends over to hug her. “Now, you little shit,” she warns, “I know people here. Listen to your doctors and nurses. Do what they tell you.” 

“I will,” Kate smiles at her. “I will.” 

“This is serious business,” Liz points at her. “Don’t fuck around.” 

“I won’t, I promise.” Kate says laying her hand to her heart. 

Liz spins around. “Tobin,” she points at her speaking sternly. “Watch this one. Don’t let her do anything stupid. Like midnight mowing.” 

Tobin looks at her with wide eyes, “Yes ma’am,” she answers back quickly.

“Liz, stop it,” Kate smacks her arm, “you’re scaring her.” 

Liz drops her eyes to the ground, “Sorry,” she mutters. She looks at Tobin. “She’s just my best friend, ya know? And I’ve almost lost her twice in a month.” 

“I understand,” Tobin replies gently. “I’d feel the same,” 

“Okay,” Liz smiles at her and then Kate. “later, you two.” She says as she leaves the room. 

Tobin lets out a deep breath as she sits back down. She smiles at Kate. 

Kate wiggles her eyebrows, “Alone, at last,” she smiles. She leans forward, “Will you kiss me, please?” 

Tobin grins wildly as she gets up, lowers the bed rail on her side and slowly sits on the bed. She leans over and puts her right hand on the bed to the left of Kate and leans forward. As she does, she gently caresses Kate cheek with her left hand, fingers ghosting over it. Kate reaches up and gently curls her fingers around Tobin’s right bicep. They come together softly, slowly exploring each other. Tobin pulls back and looks at her. 

“Hi,” she smiles. 

“Hi,” Kate grins. 

“So, you’re really doing okay?” Tobin asks her quietly. Seriously. 

Kate sighs. “Not gonna lie.” She says. “They found some issues. I have limited peripheral vision. They think it’s because of the bleeding and swelling that happened. They feel in a few weeks I should get it back.” 

“Kate,” Tobin’s voice cracks.  


“It’s okay, it should come back.” She says. “They’ve seen it before.” She moves her hand from Tobin’s bicep and wraps it around the back of her neck, pulling her in close. They kiss again, bringing a new intensity to it, communicating without words. As their tongues intertwine, Tobin moans quietly and Kate responds with one of her own. Kate’s other hand reaches up and she runs it through Tobin’s hair.

After a few minutes they pull back, panting and grinning. 

“Okay, so that was…” Tobin trails off. 

“Yeah,” Kate smiles, her hand back to lightly rubbing Tobin arm. “That was all kinds of awesome.” 

“You do things to me,” Tobin says, her voice and sexy. Kate squeezes her legs together as feels wetness growing. 

“Tobin, we can’t do that here.” Kate says, “You’re getting me all hot and bothered and we’re not ready to do all of things you’re making me want to do with you right now,” she’s smirking and there’s lust in her eyes. 

Tobin pulls back a little bit, “You’re just as guilty, babe,” she smirks back at her. “I’m gonna have to take a cold shower when I get home.” 

Tobin kisses her gently and moves back to her seat, holding her hand again. 

“So how long do you think you’re in here?” she asks Kate. 

“Maybe one more day.” Kate nods. “I’ll get another scan next week but this week I should really be taking it easy.” 

“Do you have help?” 

“Well, most people can come by after work, I should be able to manage mornings and stuff.” Kate states. 

“Consider staying with me?” Tobin asks. “I’m home all the time, Samson can come too. We could see if we get sick of each other. I owe you a salmon dinner.” 

Kate looks at Tobin.

“Let me think about it?” she asks. “I don’t know if Jake has made plans or anything.”

Tobin nods furiously. “Yes, I understand.” She smiles. “Anyone who wants to visit would be welcome. Not a problem.”

“Yeah,” Kate smiles back at her. “Let’s talk about it tomorrow, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees. 

Kate yawns and her suddenly looks tired. 

“I should go,” Tobin suggests. She takes out her phone and texts Sinc. 

“I wish you didn’t have to,” Kate murmurs, her head resting on her pillow. “I’m so tired all of the sudden.”

“I can come back tomorrow, if you want?”

“I want,” Kate sleepily grins. “I also want another kiss. It’s the best medicine.” 

Tobin grins as she stands over her and bends to kiss her gently. “Sweet dreams, sweetheart,” 

“You too, champ,” Kate mumbles as she drifts off to sleep. 

Tobin stands there for a moment, gently brushing Kate’s hair from her face. She bends over one last time to kiss Kate’s forehead. Then she grabs her crutches and heads out of the room, shutting the lights off at as she exits. 

Sinc pulls up about five minutes after Tobin got outside the hospital doors. 

“How is she?” she asks immediately. 

Tobin gives her a huge smile. “She’s amazing.” 

 

When Tobin gets home, she pulls out her phone and flops down on her couch.

“Tobin! Hey, how are you!” Emily’s voice comes through. 

“I’m feeling pretty good,” Tobin replies. “How are you doing?” there’s background noise. 

“Hang on a second,” Em says as she jostles her phone for a minute. “Okay, sorry,” 

“That’s fine,” Tobin says. “I wanted to thank you for the chicken alfredo. It was awesome!”

“Oh, you’re welcome,” Emily says, “I just didn’t want you to worry about figuring out what to eat and I know you like it.” 

“Well, I really appreciate it. It was very kind of you.” Tobin states seriously. 

“How are you doing?” Emily asks her. 

“Well, I’ve had a couple of bumps along the way, but I’m getting there.” Tobin replies. She goes on to tell her about her panic attack and her first meeting with Jen. 

“Allie told me about Kate, how is she?” 

“Really good, I just got back from seeing her.” Tobin smiles as she replies. 

“That’s awesome, Tobin.” Emily says. “I prayed for her when I heard.”

“Well, it worked.” Tobin says, “thanks,” 

“She’s such a cool person. I’d like to hang with her again.” Emily states. 

“Yeah, we’ll work on that.” Tobin grins. “Once she’s feeling better.” 

“That would be cool.” Emily agrees. “Listen, I really want to catch up, but I’ve got to go. Would it be cool if I stop by sometime?” 

“Yeah, just give me a heads up, maybe a few of us could do dinner soon.” Tobin offers. 

“Yeah, definitely.” Emily confirms. “after we get back from Kansas City.” 

“Sounds good, take it easy,” Tobin yawns. 

“Get some rest, I’ll talk to you soon,” Emily says as she signs off. 

“Yeah, later,” Tobin clicks off the call. 

She gets off her couch and begins her bedtime routine. She looks forward to seeing Kate tomorrow and she really hopes she decides to stay with her. That kiss, she smiles. If she can make me feel that way from kissing, she’ll kill me if she really touches me. 

As she lays in bed with the lights off, she thinks about those kisses. She sighs as she remembers Kate’s touch on her arm, lightly squeezing her bicep as their kisses intensify. She makes me so horny, Tobin thinks. She is so hot. Is it too soon to be thinking like that? Is there a timeline for sex after rape? Will I freak out having sex again? I really need to talk to Jen about this. She needs to know everything Allison did to me. 

She arranges the cushions so she can lay on her stomach. She shakes those thoughts from her head and imagines herself on a beach, the blue sky, the ocean noises as the waves meet the shore. She sighs as she relaxes and slowly falls asleep.


	19. Houseguest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate comes to stay.

When Tobin awoke Wednesday morning, she is all business. Quickly dressing, eating and making a to do list in the event Kate is coming to stay with her. She placed an order online for groceries, put clothes in the washing machine and straightened up her living room. She was finishing up a call with her Mom as she let Robin in. 

Tobin jumped right to work, stretching and preparing for today’s workout. Robin evaluated her by first assessing how her legs felt after biking three miles yesterday. 

“They were tired last night,” Tobin admits, “but they weren’t really sore. At least, nothing unusually sore.”

“That’s great!” Robin says cheerfully. “We’ll continue with three today, actually for the rest of the week. Over the weekend I’d like you to do this same routine.” 

“Yeah, okay, sounds good.” Tobin nods. 

“Oh, and make sure you use the heart rate monitor and make room in your freezer.” Robin instructs. 

Tobin arches an eyebrow. “My freezer?”

“You’ll need some ice for the ice baths.” Robin smiles sweetly. 

“But, of course!” Tobin grins. She wonders if she can find someone who delivers ice. 

“Riveter’s Liquors.” Robin states. 

Tobin looks at her questioningly. 

“They deliver ice. Booze and snacks, too.” She answers. 

“Thanks,” Tobin grins as she continues stretching. 

Tobin is halfway through her biking when there’s a knock at her door. As Robin leaves to answer it, Tobin shakes her head. This place is a revolving door with people coming and going.

She turns to see who is following Robin when she hears Sinc’s voice ring out. “Morning Tobin!” 

“Hey Sinc, how’s it going?” Tobin greets. 

“Good, had a little swelling so I’m back for some treatment.” She’s carrying a two ice bags and a plastic bag. 

She sets them down and brings the plastic bag to her kitchen. As she unwraps it, Tobin’s curiosity takes over. 

“Whatcha got?” she asks. 

“Mana made you that pork dish,” Sinc grins. 

“Oh man! No way!” she exclaims. 

“Yeah, she said we have to play luau music while we eat today.” Sinc says smiling. 

“That’s cool!” Tobin giggles as she pedals. 

“You’ve got a rice cooker, yeah?” she asks. 

“Bottom cabinet, left side of the island,” Tobin directs. 

Sinc retrieves the rice cooker and sets it on the counter. She gets the bag out of rice out of the bag she brought in and sets it next to the cooker. “I’ll warm up the pork in the oven, so I’ll put that on at ten o’clock. I’ll put the rice on at eleven.” 

“I’m hungry already,” Robin laughs. 

Soon Tobin is on the mat stretching and Sinc is on the table getting an ultrasound treatment. 

“Tobin, you shaved five minutes off your time from yesterday,” Robin reports as she looks up from her tablet. 

“I’m feeling good today,” Tobin replies. 

“Good!” Robin smiles. “Let’s keep this same routine until Monday then.” She states. “We’ll increase the miles and the band resistance levels next week.”

Tobin nods. This is good, she thinks. I got this. 

Tobin is sweaty and winded after doing her band workout. She feels good, not unnaturally tired or sore. Her fear of having some lingering muscle issues is dwindling but she knows she shouldn’t get too optimistic yet. She decides she’ll just keep pushing herself and see how it goes. She knows she has a ways to go to get her fitness level even close to what it once was. 

Lunch is in the oven, Sinc is on the mat with her leg elevated against the table. Tobin is on the table getting her massage. She trusts Robin and doesn’t feel nervous today with the massage. Routine, she thinks. The routine is good for me. Having Sinc here helps. I’m not alone. I know I can’t keep this comfy bubble forever, but I can for a little while. Then we can move things forwards. Maybe I can lift at Garga’s gym for a little bit. I know I’ll max out of the band workouts soon. 

As they settle at the table for lunch and begin eating, Tobin clears her throat and looks at Robin. “Can I ask you something?” she says quietly. 

“Sure, Tobin,” Robin smiles, “anything.” 

“Did you ever get,” Tobin pauses, “a weird feeling being around Allison?” 

The smiles slides off Robin’s face. Tobin glances at Sinc and sees her eyes darting between them. 

Robin shakes her head, “I wish I could say that, I mean, I wish I could’ve said that months ago, honey and then maybe you wouldn’t be in this situation.”

Tobin nods as she takes another bite. 

“Allison,” Robin sighs, “Allison was always happy, really easy to work with and never, ever gave me any pause to think otherwise. She even mentioned a mysterious boyfriend to me a couple of times.” She bites her lip. “Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you this, but since what happened, we’ve been having meetings to discuss it with the staff. We’re all trying to understand how this, this, obsession, or whatever you want to call it, got so dangerous.” 

“We have too,” Sinc adds, “we’ve met with Stephanie to talk about what happened to you. I think what bothers everyone is the fact that nobody really saw it coming.” 

Tobin’s biting her lip. She feels guilty that so many, her friends, are having difficulty dealing with this as well. She feels responsible in some way and she knows that she shouldn’t but she does. 

“This is not on you so stop even thinking that.” Sinc says sternly. 

Tobin flinches in her chair. “I-“

“Tobin,” Sinc says, her voice soothing, gentle, “I know you, okay? I know how you are and I know a part of you is feeling bad that the team is doing some soul searching because of what happened. It’s not on you. It will never be on you. You did nothing wrong. This is not your fault.” 

Tobin takes a deep breath as a tear slides down her cheek. She swipes at it with her thumb, praying she doesn’t start crying. “It’s hard,” she says, her voice trembling. 

Both women nod at her. 

“I…I guess I’m struggling to find the deeper reason of why this happened.” Tobin says as she clears her voice. “I don’t doubt God and His plan for me, but, right now, it’s just hard to see.” 

“Jeremiah twenty-nine eleven.” Sinc looks her directly in the eye. 

Tobin thinks for a moment. She slowly smiles as she remembers it. Her and Sinc have spoken about faith and God before but really hadn’t had any deep discussions so she doesn’t really know how into it she is. 

She nods her head. “Thanks,” she smiles. Sinc smiles back. 

“Tobin, it will all come together. It just takes time.” Robin says quietly. 

They all take a deep breath and are silent. 

“This pork is so awesome.” Tobin says as she starts eating again. They do as well. 

They speak about the Timbers and their upcoming match against Seattle. “They spanked Houston and then lost to the Breakers.” Sinc says. “Kop is a brick wall usually, so that game was weird.” 

“I’m happy Rose is doing so well.” Tobin adds. 

“Okay, so now that we’re done eating, maybe the two of you can continue your soccer talk in the ice bath?” Robin says sweetly, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Eight minutes, legs for you both. I’ll take care of the dishes.” 

“Robin, really, I’ll do the dishes-“ Tobin starts. 

“Ice bath. Now.” Robin says as she waves her off. 

They push their chairs back and Tobin grabs her crutches in case she feels weak afterwards. As they slide into the tub, Sinc looks at her. “So, have you heard from Kate yet?” 

“Not yet, she said she’d call after she spoke with her brother.” Tobin shrugs. Sinc nods. 

“What do you have going on for the rest of today?” Tobin asks her. 

“Heading back to PP for team dinner and then some more meetings. We’ve been going over transitions and making faster connections. Then we practice it the next day. It’s coming together.” 

“It’s so weird to not be on the pitch,” Tobin says. “I feel a little lost.” 

Sinc pushes a wave of cold water at her. Tobin yelps. 

“We’ll help keep you on your path,” she says warmly. 

“Thanks,” Tobin says quietly. 

“What are you doing for your rest of the day?” Sinc inquires. 

Tobin smiles. “Hopefully having a houseguest.” 

Tobin gets the call as she walks down her hallway after seeing Robin and Sinc off for the day. 

“Hey cutie” Kate greets her. 

Tobin blushes as she replies, “Hey! How are you?” 

“I’m free and at home.” Kate gushes. 

Tobin’s stomach drops a little and she frowns. “Oh, that’s great!” she says with as much enthusiasm as she can muster. 

Kate must sense it because she replies quickly. “So, I’m calling to see if your offer still stands? I wanted to make sure it’s not because of the drugs I was on last night.” 

Tobin’s smiling. “Of course!”

“Good, I’m packing right now. Well actually, my sister in law is packing. I’m directing.” Kate informs her. “Jake and Cath have a crazy week of work stuff to coordinate so this would be awesome.” 

“I really can’t wait,” Tobin says earnestly. 

“Neither can I,” Kate says quietly.

They’re both silent for a moment. 

“Okay, so here’s the plan, if it works for you: the four of us will over in about an hour and a half, I have a shit ton of food to bring so do you have some room in your freezer?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin responds. The ice, what should I do about the ice? “Do you by chance have a fairly large cooler you could bring over?” 

“Yeah,” Kate says slowly. 

“I need to have ice delivered daily for a while. If you brought a cooler, I can put it in there and have room for whatever you’re bringing.” Tobin explains. 

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Kate says. “I have a big one that has wheels so that might work?” 

“Perfect!” Tobin grins. I have room in the bathroom, I can just keep it in there, she figures. “What else?” 

“Cath insists in bringing dinner.” 

“Fine with me.” Tobin agrees. She can’t stop smiling. “What else?” 

“Uh, I think that’s it.” Kate replies. 

“Good, so finish packing so you can get here!” Tobin laughs. 

“I’ll text you when we’re downstairs,” Kate promises. 

“Cool,” 

“Bye Tobin,” Kate smiles. 

“Bye Kate,” Tobin smiles as she ends the call. 

She heads for her bathroom to shower and get ready. She feels a little tired and realizes she hasn’t gotten in a nap. She laughs to herself because it makes her feel like a toddler discussing her own nap schedule. Kate might be tired too, maybe we can take a quick nap after dinner or just go to bed early, she figures. 

After showering and dressing, she heads to her living room and examines it. Looks good. Nothing is out of place. She texts Mana a thank you for the delicious pork lunch and calls Alex to check in with her. Five minutes after she hangs up with Alex, her phone buzzes. Kate’s here. 

A surge of excitement, butterflies and happiness course through Tobin as she makes her way to the door. Just as she opens it she hears the ping of the elevator and sees Kate as she walks with Samson. Two figures are behind her carrying a backpack, wheeling a suitcase and dragging a cooler. Jake and Cath. 

“Hi you,” Kate smiles as she hugs Tobin. 

“Hi you,” Tobin murmurs as she inhales her scent. 

“Hey Tobin,” Jake greets, “I’d like you to meet my wife Cath.” 

“Hi,” Tobin greets smiling. She just can not stop smiling. “Pleased to meet you.” 

“You too,” Cath smiles letting go of her hand. 

“Can I take something?” Tobin offers. Jake offers her the cooler and she pulls it into the kitchen. 

“You can just leave the suitcase in the hall,” Tobin offers. “Hi Sammy!” She greets him as his tails wags furiously. 

The three women walk into the kitchen, Tobin pops the lid on the cooler and her and Cath begin to unload it. 

“So,” Kate explains, “I have some fresh vegetables from the garden, and a few items from my fridge we need to eat soon and then some meals some of my friends dropped off.” 

“Let’s look in the fridge and see what I’ve got, people have been bringing me food daily.” Tobin suggests. “Jake, can I get you something to drink?” 

“Got any beer?” he smiles. 

“Yeah, what do you like? I’ve got a few.” 

“Surprise me,” he smirks. 

Cath and Kate stifle laughs. Tobin looks at the two of them confused. “What?” she asks.  
“It’s his game,” Kate explains. “He always says you can judge a person by the beer they have in their fridge.” 

“Really?” Tobin frowns. 

Kate leans on her shoulder. “It’s totally a joke, though.” She explains. “He comes up with amazing, hilarious analyzations on the beer you deliver.” 

Tobin smirks. She knows exactly which beer to present him with. 

“Here ya go,” she smiles as she hands him his beer and a glass. He inspects the label. 

“Live Oak Hefeweizen?” He asks. “Never heard of it.” 

“It’s out of Texas.” Tobin explains. “It’s one of my favorites.” She smiles. She knows Kate likes German style Weiss beers, so she would probably like this one. She figures, if he’s going to judge her, he will be also judging his sister. 

Jake smirks at her as he catches on her game as he pours his beer. He’s a smart cookie, Tobin thinks. 

“Let me taste it,” Kate insists, grabbing for the glass. 

“No alcohol, doctor’s orders.” Cath states. 

“I can have a sip,” Kate complains as she takes a sip of the beer and hands it back to Jake. She swishes it around her mouth a little and swallows. Tobin can’t stop looking at her throat as she does. 

Kate smiles. “That’s really good,” she praises.

Jake is sticking his nose in the glass and making a show of his tasting efforts. After he swallows a sip, he looks at them with a gleam in his eyes. 

“It’s creamy, I taste a hint of bananas?” he asks. 

Tobin nods. 

“This is very good.” He says as he stands up. “I’ve never had this before. Can you get this locally? I’ve never seen it.” 

Cath and Kate stop messing in the kitchen, looking at each other. Jake has never before not joked with someone about tasting a beer. Unless he’s building up to an intricate joke,  
this has never happened. 

“Actually, I order it from the brewery.” Tobin explains. “To me, this is almost as close to a real German beer you can get in the states.” 

Jake is nodding as he holds his glass up to the light. “See how the foam settles on top? That layer of beer bubbles that’s not foam- that’s what makes this a great beer.”  
“Have you been to Germany?” Tobin asks. Jake shakes his head. “Well, the beer halls there…” Tobin tells him a few stories of some of the different types of beer she’s had over there. 

Soon Jake is asking her if she has a six pack left so he can see if there’s any distribution info on it. He’s telling Tobin about his bar as they walk to her pantry and she pulls out the case. 

As they talk, Tobin realizes she’s been to his bar a few times. Maybe that’s where she recognizes him. As he moves to put the case back, she pulls out a six pack and hands it to him. “Take this with you tonight,” she offers. 

“No man, I can’t do that,” he says, shaking his head. 

“Take it,” she insists. “There’s no joy to life if you can’t share cool stuff with others. Next time, let me try one of your favorites.” She smiles.

Jake smiles as he nods and walks to put it on the side table near the door. Coming back towards Tobin he asks, “Do you like fruity beers?” 

She nods as she smirks and replies, “Dude, I like all things fruity!” 

The others groan at the joke and Tobin sends a wink over to Kate. She is so fucking hot, Kate thinks. 

“You guys good?” Tobin asks as she passes them, a hand lingering on Kate’s shoulder. They barely nod as Tobin grabs a beer for herself and a glass and meets Jake at the island. She sets the glass down and says, “Now here is how the Germans pour a beer,” demonstrating as she speaks. 

Kate pulls Cath over to the back counter as she unwraps a foiled package. “What is happening? I’m so confused!” she whispers. 

Cath shakes her head as she smiles knowingly. 

“What?” Kate hisses. 

“It’s simple,” Cath whispers back. “They’re bros.” she explains. They both look up to see Tobin and Jake laughing as he fist bumps her. Tobin is asking him about his bar. “Jake  
really likes her. Like really.” She smiles. 

As Kate watches them bonding, a warmth spreads through her chest. She smiles as she glances at Cath who is smiling as well. She goes to her backpack and pulls out the mat and dishes for Samson and fills one with kibble and gets water for the other. Samson comes over and eats with gusto. 

“Can I help with anything?” Tobin asks Cath during a pause in their conversation. 

“Uh, I think we’re set,” Cath answers. “Just need to set the table,” 

With that Tobin gets up and heads towards her cabinets while urging Cath and Kate to sit down. She grabs plates and silverware, setting it on the counter and grabbing salt and pepper. Kate gets up and grabs the silverware following Tobin to the table and setting them down at each place setting. They bump shoulders as they set the table and smile at each other. 

Tobin returns to the island and lays a linen napkin flat out and begins folding it in an intricate manner. Suddenly, it becomes a swan. 

“How did you learn that?” Cath asks. 

“When we travel, sometimes we get hit with a lot of down time.” Tobin explains as she starts the next napkin. “I like to learn something to keep me occupied.” A lizard appears. Then a monkey. Tobin is now sticking her tongue out and her brow is furrowed with concentration as she makes the last one. Kate is standing next to her watching with interest. 

Soon, Tobin is holding a flower in her hand and presenting it to Kate. “For you,” she murmurs gently placing it in her hands. Kate gives her a peck of a kiss on her cheek and grabs the lizard. Tobin follows her with the monkey and the swan and they grin as they set them on the plates. 

Jake and Cath look on with amused expressions. “I’m guessing I’m the monkey,” Jake smirks.

Tobin turns red as Kate rubs her back. “I’m sure there’s no subliminal messages in Tobin’s napkin art, right?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin smiles. “I only know how to make those four.” 

As they sit down for dinner, Tobin leans over as she notices Kate holding her fork. “You’re a lefty too?” 

“Yeah, Kate nods, “Most things I do lefty but I do a lot righty as well.” 

“Oh, like what?” 

“I’m a switch hitter,” Kate replies. 

Tobin arches an eyebrow at her. 

A flush creeps up Kate’s cheeks as she huffs out, “Just for sports. Baseball and golf. I swear!” 

Tobin’s laugh startle Jake and Cath as they come to the table. 

“What?” Jake asks, a smile playing on his lips. 

“Kate just told me she’s a switch hitter.” Tobin says dramatically. 

Cath smiles. “Kate dear, I’ve known you since you were fourteen, I really don’t think you-“ 

“We were talking sports!” Kate exclaims. 

When they stopped laughing, Jake catches Tobin’s eye. “Would you mind if I said Grace?” 

Tobin smiles broadly, “Please,” she says. 

Kate extends her left hand to Tobin and reaches across for Jake’s and Cath and Tobin join hands and they all bow their heads. 

“Bless us, O Lord, for these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.” 

“Amen,” they repeat and Kate squeezes Tobin’s hand before dropping it to start eating. 

Tobin takes a deep breath as she lifts her fork, this just feels so perfect. So comfortable. So right. Is it too early to be thinking this? What does Kate think? Does she feel the same way? 

“All I’m saying is to let me take care of it for now,” Jake is saying. Shit, Tobin thinks, what did I miss? 

“Alright, but just keep me in the loop, okay?” Kate replies easily enough. She doesn’t seem pissed or anything Tobin notes. “Liz and I weren’t talking about band stuff last stuff last night. I don’t know when they’ll say I can play out live yet,” 

Oh, her band, Tobin nods to herself. 

Leaning against Kate’s shoulder, Tobin asks, “Uh, how often do you guys play?” 

“This time of year, usually once a week and then in summer we’ll playout on Fridays and Saturdays.” 

“So, on a regular night, what instrument do you usually play?” Tobin asks with interest. 

“Ah, acoustic and electric guitars,” Kate replies as she takes another bite. 

“You should hear her, Tobin,” Cath says, “I love when she plays piano,” 

Kate rolls her eyes as she pierces another bite of food, a light blush appearing on her cheeks. 

“When you did the classical recital at the community center,” Cath continues, “I had goosebumps.” 

Kate opens her mouth to say something but she shuts it and nods. 

“Who is your favorite composer?” Tobin shifts to face her. 

“Debussy,” Kate answers quietly. 

“Claire de lune?” Tobin questions. 

Kate looks up quickly with large eyes as she nods. 

“That piece was our Mom’s favorite.” Jake explains. 

“My Mom loves classical music,” Tobin says, “She’s more of like, into the top ten of all composers but that one is absolutely her favorite. It just evokes such feelings.”  
Jake and Cath nod as Tobin speaks. Kate is staring at her, her mouth barely concealing a quirky grin. 

“Tobin, do you play any instruments?” Cath asks. 

Tobin laughs as she shakes her head. “My Mom tried piano lessons for me and I lasted, like, five minutes. I just wanted to be outside playing soccer. Like, all the time.” 

Dinner conversation continues with topics of coolest concerts they’ve been to, best vacations and what animal you could be. There is much banter around the table and Tobin loves every second of it. 

As they finish their meal, Jake stands up and begins clearing plates. Tobin pushes her chair back and he shushes her. 

“Let me help you get set up,” she bargains. 

“Tobin, you aren’t one of those anal freaks that has to load the dishwasher a certain way, are you?” he grins. 

“Nah.” She grins back at him. “I’m lucky I buy the right kind of soap for that thing.” 

They chat easily as they take care of the dishes and when Tobin looks up she sees Kate has a peculiar look on her face, staring at her. She raises an eyebrow at her and Kate’s huge smile makes it easy for her to reciprocate. 

They get another drink and relax in the living, Kate siting close next to Tobin. Their legs are touching as they share the couch and they continue to talk about music. Tobin can feel herself growing more tired by the minute. After she yawns for the second time, Kate nudges her and mouths “Tired?”

 

Tobin shrugs her reply, she doesn’t want the night to end so soon. Cath picks up on the exchange.

“Sammy,” she calls out, “come here, boy.” She’s petting him as she speaks. “How about Jake and I take him out and then we’ll hit the road.” She says. “I’m sure you must be getting tired Kate.” 

“Oh, that’s o-“ Kate starts but is cut off by Jake. 

“We got it.” He stands and heads for the door, Cath and Sammy following him. “We’ll be back in a few.” 

“Okay,” Kate calls out, “thanks!” 

As soon as the door shuts, Tobin grabs her hand and squeezes. “Hi, you!” she says. Kate stands holding Tobin’s hand and straddles her lap. “Hi, you,” she says slowly as she leans forward for a kiss. Tobin brings her arms around Kate and rubs her back softly as she grips her waist. 

Kate smiles as she breathes in Tobin’s clean as the ocean scent. “Much better,” she sighs as she kisses Tobin. She’s running her hands along Tobin’s back, feeling her shoulder muscles and her tight body through her shirt. Kate pulls back a little and winces as she juts her chest out and pulls her elbows to her sides. 

“You okay?” Tobin asks, breathing a little heavy. 

“Yeah, my neck is a little stiff,” Kate explains. 

Tobin gives her a quick on the lips. “Get up,” she orders. 

She takes Kate’s hand and bring her over to the exercise mat. Tobin bends down and flips over a section of it. She stands on the double layer and pulls Kate in. Standing on the mat makes her taller than Kate by only an inch or so. 

“Come here,” she whispers, pulling Kate into her arms. As they meet and their tongues explore each other, Tobin grasps her hip and is still rubbing her back. Kate, feeling more aggressive, glides her hands down Tobin’s back and gently holds her ass. She squeezes as she pulls Tobin into her so their fronts are touching. They both moan at the contact. 

When breathing becomes an important issue, they pull back, breathless and grinning. 

“Uh,” Tobin says as she licks her lips. 

“Yeah,” Kate says, her eyes darkening into a deeper blue. 

“We should stop,” Tobin says. “You’re making me all kinds of crazy here,” she explains. “I want to do this right and I’m not sure I’m in the right head space just yet.” 

“You do the same to me,” Kate admits. “I’m so horny for you right now,” she breathes, “but I really don’t want to push you nor do I wanna have our first time being with me in a neck brace.” She grins wryly. 

They stand apart holding hands, just staring at each other. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Tobin says quietly. 

“You are too, Tobin.” Kate says seriously. “I’ve wanted to get to know you since I first laid eyes on you.” She admits. “I so desperately wanted the first time I visited you in the hospital to go well.” 

“I was so excited to see you, I was glad you came.” Tobin confesses. “I talked Allie’s ear off about how much I wanted to meet you.” 

Kate smirks. 

“What?” Tobin asks cocking her head to one side. 

“I know,” Kate grins wickedly. 

“You know?” Tobin asks. 

“She called me and we set it up.” Kate grins. “She told me how you didn’t want anything special or like a big deal, and neither did I so it worked perfectly for me to just drop by.” 

“Allie!” Tobin whispers. 

“I was planning on coming before she called me, but her push made it so much easier.” Kate admits. “She’s a really good friend, Tobin.” 

Tobin nods as she hugs Kate, “yeah,” she says. 

A knock at the door alerts them to Cath and Jake’s return with Samson and soon they are saying their goodbyes. 

“It was really nice to meet you,” Tobin says to Cath. 

“You too,” Cath says, giving her a hug, “see you soon.” 

“Yeah, I’ll make dinner next time,” Tobin offers. 

“I hear you do something pretty awesome with salmon,” Jake says as he slings an arm around Tobin’s shoulders. “Keep this one in line, okay?” he points to Kate. 

“Will do,” Tobin smiles. 

“Thanks for everything,” Kate hugs Cath and moves to Jake, Love you, bro.” He kisses the top of her head as he hugs her. “Take it easy, kiddo.” He says gruffly as they depart. 

Tobin and Kate bump shoulders as they walk away from the door. 

“Are you tired?” Tobin asks her quietly. 

“Yeah,” she sighs, “I’m feeling a little wiped out.” 

“Let’s get ready for bed.” Tobin suggests. She tilts her head towards her bedroom and Kate nods. Tobin grabs her suitcase and wheels it in. She gets a luggage stand from her closet and unfolds it along the wall next to the door. She lifts the suitcase on it an unzippers it. 

“I have a double sink, so you can set up there if you want,” she offers. 

“Okay, yeah, sounds good.” Kate mumbles. Her energy is leaving her quickly. 

Tobin looks at her carefully. “So, do you have any meds you need to be taking?” 

“Outside pocket of my backpack,” Kate sighs. She’s tired. Very tired. She pulls out sleep shorts and a shirt, silently thanking Cath for packing them on top. Tobin returns with a plastic baggie containing three pill bottles and brings them into her bathroom. She gets out a wash cloth, hand towel, a cup for water and slides the toothbrush holder to the middle of the counter between the sinks. 

She places her face wash there as well, not sure if Kate would want to use it. 

As Kate enters, she mumbles thanks as she places some items on the counter. Tobin leaves to change and returns quickly. They bump elbows once or twice as they brush their teeth and smiles at each other. Tobin pulls out her retainer case and eyes Kate. 

Kate smiles as she nudges her case with her hand and finishes brushing her teeth. 

When their finished, Tobin takes her hand and leads her out of the bathroom. As they approach the bed, Kate sighs. 

“Tobin,” she says, her voice tired and a little muffled with the retainer, “as much as I would like to make out with you the whole night, I need to sleep.” 

“Me too,” Tobin agrees as she pulls down the comforter. “Do you need extra pillows or anything?” 

“Nah,” Kate says as she slides in on the right side, “I’ll be out, won’t matter.” 

Tobin makes her way around the bed, getting in and clicking off the light next to the bed. She grabs her phone and sets her alarm. 

“Me too,” she agrees yawning, “I’m beat.” 

She moves closer to Kate who is lying flat on her back. Kate reaches an arm around her and pulls her tight, Tobin resting her head on her chest. She lightly strokes Kate’s stomach.

“Tonight was awesome,” she says quietly through another yawn. 

“Yeah,” Kate sighs happily as she falls asleep.


	20. Big Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has some big emotions at therapy. How does Kate handle it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still really suck at summaries. Sorry.   
> As always, the kudos are awesome and the comments mean much to me. Thank you for that. Happy 20th chapter! Thanks for sticking with me.

Kate wakes up and realizes she’s on her side. Her neck brace is sweaty and her cheek is sticking to it. It feels good to not be on her back. Her hand is petting something soft, Samson? She cracks an eye open and realizes her arm is on Tobin’s back with her hand in Tobin’s hair at the base of her neck. She stills it and studies Tobin. She’s sleeping on her stomach, her right arm squished alongside Kate and her left arm trailing out from under the covers with her hand draped off the bed. 

Her long lashes lay against her cheek, the ugly bruise now a lighter yellow with a little greenish tint to it. The cut above her eye is healing nicely, just a thinish red line. Her mouth is slightly open, lower lips chapped and there’s a small line of drool spilling out onto the sheets. She has no pillow and Kate wonders if she’s uncomfortable. Her brow is furrowed, as if in deep thought or a bad dream. 

Her eyes crunch down more and lines appear across her forehead as she moans softly. “No,” she breathes out quietly. Kate feels Tobin’s right hand curl into a fist. She sees her shoulders tense up a little. “Please,” her voice cracks as she says it. 

Remembering the nightmares she endured, Kate lightly scratches at Tobin’s scalp, hoping to divert her attention. Tobin responds by moving her right hand up to her head, as if to protect it from a blow. Her left hand moves inward as she slowly curls into the fetal position. 

Kate slides her hand down to rub her back, “Tobin,” she calls out quietly. Tobin mumbles something and her breath hitches. “Please,” she pleads a little louder. 

Kate moves her hand and grips Tobin’s bicep, giving it a squeeze. “You’re safe,” she says. She doesn’t want to startle Tobin awake, she knows how scary that can be. 

Tobin is crying quietly, her breath becoming uneven. 

“Tobin,” Kate repeats as she shakes her arm a little more aggressively. 

Tobin’s eyes open with a sharp intake of air and she wildly looks at Kate. 

“You’re okay,” Kate sooths, rubbing her back again. “You’re safe, it’s just a dream.” 

Tobin is still breathing heavy as she moves her right hand to reach for Kate. She lays her hand on Kate’s sternum, slightly pulling at the fabric of her shirt. 

“You’re safe, mavourneen.” Kate repeats, smiling at her. “Just a dream.” 

Tobin is blinking rapidly as she gains consciousness of her surroundings. She takes a deep breath and releases it. “Hi,” she says, her voice cracking. 

“Hi, beautiful,” Kate smiles.

Tobin moves her hands to face, wiping her tears away. “It was a dream,” she says, her voice low and scratchy. 

“Yeah,” Kate nods. “Just a dream.” 

Tobin rolls to her back. “Whew,” she says. She turns her head to face Kate. “It was bad,” her voice trembles a bit. 

“Allison?” Kate asks quietly. 

Tobin nods. She rubs her face with hands again. “Yeah,” she says quietly. 

Tobin reaches out her left hand and Kate takes it. She’s staring at the ceiling. “Kate?” she asks. 

“Hhmm?” 

“Do the dreams stop?” her eyes are watering again. 

“They do, mavourneen, they do.” She reassures her gently. 

Tobin turns her head and looks at Kate, eyes questioning her. 

“It’s Gaelic for darling,” Kate explains, smiling. 

A true smile forms across Tobin’s face. She squeezes Kate’s hand. 

“Couple of questions,” Kate says. Tobin’s eyebrows raise. 

“Where is your pillow and how did I get on my side?” she asks. 

“You woke up last night and were uncomfortable and I got you on your side,” Tobin answers. 

“I don’t remember that,” Kate says. 

“Well, you were pretty out of it,” Tobin explains. “You hit me in the head and said, I quote, ‘I have to get off my fucking back before I fucking go insane.’”

“Oh, no!” Kate gasps. 

“Yeah,” Tobin smiles. “I asked you if you wanted to sleep on the couch with your feet on the ottoman, you pouted.” 

“I pouted?” Kate asks. 

“You started crying and said you wanted to snuggle with your hottie,” Tobin smiles. “So, I helped you roll over and didn’t have enough pillows in here so I let you use mine. I didn’t want to get the others from the spare room.” 

“Tobin!” Kate whines. 

“It was fine, I was fine,” Tobin placates. “It wasn’t for long,” she squeezes Kate’s hand. “I’ll put some in here for tonight.” 

Kate sighs. “I’m sorry,” 

“Not a problem,” Tobin smiles. 

“Alright,” Kate sighs again. “So, what does today look like for you?” 

“I’ve got therapy starting in,” Tobin reaches for her phone, “an hour and a half, that should last until about one. Then I nap until about two thirty, shower and see Jen at four until five. After that, I’m done.” 

Kate nods. 

“What about you?” Tobin asks. 

“I want to eat, shower and take Samson out. Then, I need to check my emails and return some phone calls. After that, nothing much. Just lay low.” 

“You can set up in the spare room, if you want,” Tobin offers. “I’ve got my desk in there and you can use my laptop if you didn’t bring one. Just, do whatever you need to do.” 

“Okay,” Kate smiles. 

“I take an ice bath in the tub around twelve forty-five, so if you want to nap, you can in the spare room, or watch TV in the living room.” Tobin rambles. “Oh, and eat whatever you   
want, we eat lunch at noon if you want to eat with us.” 

Kate smiles at Tobin. 

“What?” Tobin asks. 

“I forgot how scheduled being an athlete is, that’s all.” She smiles, “do your thing and I’ll figure out mine, okay?” 

Tobin nods. “Sounds good,” she grins. “I should get up, what do you normally eat for breakfast?” 

“Would you mind if I just sleep in a little more?” Kate asks as she yawns. 

“Not at all, I’ll be quiet,” Tobin grins as she rolls over and leans towards Kate’s face. “Can I have a good morning kiss?”

“Tobin, I’m sure I have retainer dragon breath right now,” Kate laughs. 

“I’m sure I do too, so we’re even.” She wiggles her eyebrows. 

Kate pulls her in and kisses her. “Good morning,” she murmurs. 

Tobin sits up on her knees. “Good morning!” she smiles and leaves the bed. 

She turns around quickly. “Are you comfortable? Do you want to change sides or anything?” she asks. 

“I’m good,” Kate sighs as she snuggles in. 

“I’ll take Samson out, I have time.” Tobin states. 

“Okay,” comes the sleepy response. 

“Okay then,” Tobin says quietly. 

As Kate closes her eyes, she can hear Tobin quietly moving around the room and the bathroom door click shut. She smiles as she falls back to sleep. 

 

Tobin is petting Samson after they had come back from his walk when she opens the door to greet Robin but instead sees Allie and Sinc smiling at her. 

“Hey guys!” Tobin greets with Samson at her side. 

“Morning Tobin!” Allie says as she hugs her. “How are you today? Samson!”

Allie bends down to pet him and receive kisses. 

Tobin smiles. “I’m good, can ya keep it down?” she asks quietly as she turns and leads them into the kitchen. She’s in the middle of eating breakfast. 

“Oh, we don’t want to wake a houseguest?” Allie grins slyly. 

Tobin’s smile gives them the answer before she can say anything. 

“Where is she?” Sinc asks, looking around as she pets Samson. 

“In bed still, she just had surgery, ya know.” Tobin says through a mouthful of yogurt and granola. 

They nod. 

“How was last night? What did you guys do?” Allie asks. 

“We had dinner with her brother and his wife and then we went to bed.” Tobin replies. “We were both exhausted. I didn’t nap.” 

Sinc grins, “Kate didn’t get to see cranky Tobin, did she?” 

“Nah,” Tobin shakes her head, “I wasn’t cranky, just tired.” She moves to the sink and rinses her bowl and puts it and her spoon in the dishwasher. 

“So, what brings you guys here? Need treatment?” she asks. 

“Ultrasound and band work for me,” Sinc answers. 

“Little thigh pull, stretching it out and ultrasound.” Allie says. 

“You both good for Saturday?” Tobin looks between them 

“Yep!” they answer in unison. 

Samson come around the island and sits next to Tobin. “what’s up buddy?” she asks as she pets his head. He walks down the hallway and sits outside of her bedroom door. He turns and looks at Tobin. 

Tobin walks down and opens her door and Samson enters, crawls up on the bed and lays next to Kate. 

She smiles as she quietly shuts the door and returns to Allie and Sinc. 

“Robin should be here any-“ Tobin says as a knock sounds. “minute.” She says as she answers the door. 

As soon as Robin greets them all, she puts them work. Tobin has her music playing quietly and the three go through their routines. 

Somehow, Tobin persuades Robin to let her increase her biking distance to four miles as she’s pedaling. She’s feeling good, the sweat building she as pedals hard. She’s done quickly and is surprised when Robin reports her time is only two minutes over her fastest three miles. She smiles. 

Tobin and Allies are doing partner band work on their legs while Sinc is getting her ultrasound on her ankle. When Sinc is finished, she starts her own band work, Allie gets her ultrasound and Tobin begins a seemingly endless amount of pushups. 

Tobin lays flat on her stomach, arms out as she breathes deeply after her pushups. Her arms are burning a little and she is a sweaty mess. She wonders if Kate is up yet and thinks   
she hears the shower going. She rolls to her back and stares at the ceiling. 

“You okay?” Robin asks from the table.

“Yeah,” Tobin breathes. “What’s next?” 

“Pull out the green Tupperware dish in the fridge. Put it in a casserole dish and put it in the oven at three hundred and twenty-five degrees for forty minutes, please.” 

Tobin gets up and heads to the kitchen. “What is this?” she asks suspiciously as she stares into the dish. 

“Lindsey called it the Great French Surprise?” Robin says uncertainly. 

“No way!” Tobin says excitedly. “Really?” 

They all look at her. 

“Is there a salad?” Tobin asks. “Please tell me she made a salad?” 

“It’s in a baggie and there’s a little container of dressing.” Robin informs her. 

Tobin practically skips around the kitchen as she pulls out dishes and silverware and places them on the island. 

“What’s the big deal about the Great French Surprise?” Allie asks. 

“The last time I had this was in France,” Tobin explains. “It was amazing.” 

The other three nod their heads and go back to what they were doing. As Tobin puts the pan in the oven, she hears her bedroom door open. Samson trots down the hallway and nudges Tobin to pet him as his tail wags furiously.

“Hi you,” she smiles as Kate walks toward her. Kate’s wet hair is pulled back in a ponytail and she’s wearing a pair of short, faded jean shorts and an ASU softball t-shirt.

“Hi you,” Kate smiles back as she goes to give Tobin a hug. 

“I’m all sweaty,” Tobin pulls back. 

“I don’t care,” Kate orders and hugs her. 

“Kate!” Allie and Sinc exclaim.

“Hi guys!” she greets. 

“Robin, I’d like you to meet Kate, Kate this is Robin, our trainer.” Tobin introduces. 

“Very pleased to meet you, Kate.” Robin says as she shakes her hand. “You’re looking well so soon after surgery,” 

“I’m kind of shocked how good I feel,” Kate admits. “Now if I can just get out of wearing this stupid thing,” she motions to the neck brace. 

“How soon did they say?” Tobin asks her. 

“Maybe Monday,” Kate answers. 

“That’s not too bad, you had surgery on Monday, right?” Robin comments. 

Kate nods. “Speaking of which,” she turns and hands her phone to Tobin, “Could you take a pic of my neck incision? I want to see it.” 

She takes off her brace and holds her ponytail to the side. Tobin looks at it before she snaps the photo. It’s about an inch and half long with ten stitches at the top and six steri-strips at the bottom.

Kate is studying it as she chews on the inside of her cheek. 

“Robin,” Tobin calls out and motions her to come close, “why would they put both stitches and strips?” 

Robin peers at Kate’s incision. “Most likely the stitches are stronger to hold where it bends.” She explains. “How does it feel?” 

“Pretty good, doesn’t feel like a deep wound or anything right.” 

Robin nods. “It looks good. Clean.” She looks at Tobin, “Range of motion testing, okay?” 

“Yep,” Tobin nods. 

“I’m gonna walk Samson, are your keys by the door?” Kate asks as she puts the brace on and heads towards the hallway. 

“Yeah, in the basket,” Tobin says as she moves to the mat. 

Allie is icing her quad and Tobin is finishing her testing when Kate returns. 

Sinc is in the kitchen pulling out the casserole dish. “Kate, did you want to go right to lunch or eat something lighter?” 

“Whatever you’re having if there’s enough is fine,” Kate replies. 

“Are you ready for the Great French Surprise?” Allie smirks. 

Kate’s eyebrows shoot up. “And that is?” 

“What we’re eating.” Sinc grins. 

Kate looks to Tobin who is wiping her sweaty face with the bottom of her shirt. She can’t look away from her exposed abs. 

“Uh, Tobin?” she asks. “What, what is the Great French Surprise?” 

Tobin looks up and grins. “It’s a French cassoulet, made with pork sausages, duck, maybe some mutton, and white beans. It’s amazing!” 

“Mutton?” Allie scrunches her nose. 

“Lamb,” Sinc elbows her. “Just a little older.” 

“Ladies,” Robin announces, she’s looking at her phone. “I’ve got to run back to PP.” She looks at them. “Can I trust you and Sinc to do eight minutes of legs?” she’s looking at Tobin. 

“Yeah, absolutely!” Tobin grins. 

“You need to ice your back as well. There’s some tightness there. Are you sure it’s not hurting?” 

“Well, a little,” Tobin answers quietly. 

“Okay,” Robin says a little unsure. “Kate, eight minutes in the ice bath for those two, okay? I’m counting on you. And twenty minutes on your back, Tobin.” 

Kate laughs. “Sure thing, Robin.” 

“I’ll see you all tomorrow.” She heads for the door, “Tobin, don’t forget to order ice.” 

“Okay!” Tobin calls out as she is portioning out the salad onto small plates. 

The others gather around her. “Water good for everyone?” Allie asks as she pulls out some glasses.

As they eat, Tobin explains the history of the Great French Surprise and how Lindsey had taken a cooking class in France and this was the only item she understood how to make.   
They all agreed it was delicious and Lindsey did a great job. Allie was taking photos of them eating and their plates and texting them out to the team. 

“I’ll do dishes, you guys go ice,” Kate orders. “Can’t disappoint Robin,” 

The trio head to Tobin’s bathroom and dump two bags into the cold water. As Tobin and Sinc slide in, Allie perches herself on the side of the tub. 

“Sooooo,” she says looking at Tobin, “how’s it going?” 

“Good?” Tobin answers, she’s confused. 

“With Kate?” Allie whispers. 

“Oh, fine.” Tobin shrugs. 

Allie rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean, you ass!” she hisses. 

“It’s been fine.” Tobin answers. 

Sinc pushes a wave of icy water at her. 

“Hey!” Tobin yelps. Sinc just grins at her. 

“She’s right out there,” Tobin says quietly. “We’re not doing this.” 

Allie sighs as she gets up and leaves the bathroom. 

“Where are you going?” Tobin asks. 

“To talk to Kate,” Allie smirks. 

“Allie!” Tobin yells. 

Sinc laughs. “Tobin, relax, she’s messing with you.” 

“I hope so,” Tobin sighs. 

“Come on, she wouldn’t do that. Not right now, anyway. Kate just had surgery.” She reasons. 

“Is our time up?” Tobin asks. 

“Two minutes left,” Sinc answers. “In a rush?” 

“No, I just wanna take a shower and nap. I’ve got therapy at four.” 

“Nervous?” Sinc asks cautiously. 

“No,” Tobin replies, “I like her, I don’t think it will be scary or anything. I think I can trust her.” 

Sinc nods. “Good,” she glances at her phone. “We’re done.” 

They hoist themselves out of the tub and Tobin goes directly to the shower. 

Sinc dries off and finds Allie in the living room on the floor with Samson. 

“We got to go,” she orders. “Kate, good seeing you!” 

Allie scrambles up, “Later, Kate!” 

“Bye!” Kate calls out. She’s drying the casserole dish. 

After the door closes, Kate can hear the shower going. She knows it’s only been a few hours since she got up but she thinks she could use a nap as well. Do you really need a nap or do you just want to put our hands on Tobin, she questions herself. She did look so fucking hot all sweaty. Calm it down, she’s not ready. You just can’t jump her bones, she’ll freak out. You have to let her lead this. She shakes her head. But she kisses so good, and her hands, oh, what I’d like for them to do. Just stop it, she scolds herself. You of all people should understand what she’s going through. Just, calm your tits. Get to know her more. Be a friend. A friend who likes to make out with her. She smiles. 

The shower goes off.

When Tobin peeks out in the hallway, Kate is wiping down the table and talking to Samson. 

“You’re my good boy, aren’t you?” she says. “We’ll go out later, dude.” Samson is thumping his tail and knocking his head into her hip. Kate’s back is to Tobin and she stretches across the table to wipe a corner. Oh man, that ass, Tobin thinks. She’s so hot. I want her. Am I ready? No. She’s not ready. We talked about this last night. Just take it slow. She takes a deep breath. All in good time. 

Tobin walks across the hallway into the spare room and grabs two pillows off the bed and brings them back into her room. Then she heads to the kitchen. 

“Hey,” she says, approaching Kate, “I’m gonna lay down for a while, then get ready for therapy.” 

Kate smiles, “I think I could use a nap as well,” 

Tobin smiles and embraces her. “Let’s go.” 

As Tobin closes the blinds to darken the room, Kate slides in bed. “Thanks for the pillows,” 

“Oh, yeah,” Tobin says as she gets in bed. “Thanks for doing the dishes.”

“Come here,” Kate invites, she’s on her side. “I want to be the big spoon,” 

Tobin slides over as Kate moves up against her, their bodies flush, legs tangling. Kate’s right arm is under Tobin’s pillow and her left is softly stroking her shoulder. 

“This is nice,” Tobin murmurs. 

Uh huh,” Kate agrees as she moves her hand to Tobin’s stomach. She can feel the bandage Tobin is wearing and wonders how the wound is healing. She lets out a sigh as she relaxes. She hears Tobin’s breathing slow and wonders if Tobin feels as great about this as she does. She smiles as she closes her eyes. 

 

“Babe, I’ve got to go,” Kate hears as she slowly regains consciousness. She opens her eyes and squints at Tobin, sitting on the edge of the bed, her hand on her shoulder. 

“Okay,” she replies as she sighs. 

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” Tobin says, “Oh, and I took Samson out so he’s all set.” 

“Thanks, mavourneen.” She mumbles falling back asleep. 

She doesn’t see the big smile on Tobin’s face as she leaves the room. 

 

 

Tobin is in an Uber, on her way back to her place from her therapy session. She feels sick to her stomach and it’s taking everything she has not to vomit all over the back seat of the vehicle. She’s sweating, even though it’s in the seventies. Her foot is twitching, her back hurts and she realizes she didn’t ice it. The session went well, Jen was easy to talk to. All she did was ask her to tell her about Allison. Tobin went into detail about their friendship, then the rape. She told Jen about her dreams and how real they feel. How she can feel paralyzed from the shackles she was in. How helpless she felt. 

Jen told her that the more she spoke about it, the less power it would have over her. She had to accept that it happened and learn to face the triggers that will catch her off guard. 

Jen knows Tobin can do it. Tobin told her details of her attack she hasn’t mentioned to anyone. It felt good to get it out but she still feels sick over it. 

She crutches into her apartment and hears Kate talking to someone. Please, she prays, don’t let someone be here. She heads to the kitchen to get a drink and hears Kate ending her call. 

Tobin is standing at the counter drinking a glass of water. She’s not focused on anything. This isn’t good, Kate thinks. She sees Tobin is pale, her hand shaking as she drinks and she’s sweating profusely. I know this feeling. 

“Hey,” she says quietly. 

“Hey,” Tobin answers, eyes looking at the counter. “I’ll be right back,” she says and crutches to her room. 

Kate listens intently and when she hears Tobin violently puking, she gets up. She strides to the bedroom and can hear Tobin alternating between vomiting and crying. She enters the bathroom and sees Tobin kneeling in front of the toilet, one hand holding her hair back, the other clutching the top of the toilet tank. 

Kate grabs a hair tie from the bathroom counter and gently takes her hair in her hands. She pulls it back and places it in a ponytail. She fills Tobin’s water cup and sets it on the counter. Then she kneels slightly to the side behind Tobin and slowly rubs her back. 

Tobin is now crying more than being sick. She spits a few times into the toilet and that’s when Kate hands her the water cup. “Here,” she offers quietly. 

“Thanks,” Tobin mumbles as she rinses her mouth and spits again. Kate takes the cup from her, she doesn’t think she’s done yet. She just has a feeling. Call it a cop instinct. Tobin leans over the bowl, breathing heavy. She’s not speaking and Kate imagines she either willing herself to stop being sick or willing herself to keep purging. 

When the dry heaves continue for fifteen minutes, Kate begins to worry about Tobin’s back and ribs. Fuck, she thinks, she didn’t ice her back. When Tobin stops with the dry heaves for a few minutes, Kate refills the cup and offers it to her again. Tobin twists to her side and takes the cup with her right hand and grabs Kate’s hand with her left. 

Kate slowly rubs her thumb across the top of Tobin’s hand as she rinses and spits again. Tobin sets the cup on the back of the toilet tank, gripping it again only to lean her head against her arm. Her breathing has returned to normal. She stays that way a full minute and then slowly slides her butt back over her feet. She twists to her side and ends up sitting with her legs crossed and back against the bathroom wall. Kate slides into the same position opposite of her, their hands still interlocked. 

They don’t speak. They don’t make eye contact. They sit for a few minutes and then Kate squeezes Tobin’s hand. “Come on,” she says gently as she pulls her up. “Brush your teeth?”   
Tobin nods and grabs her toothbrush. While Tobin brushes her teeth, Kate wipes the toilet with a Clorox wipe and tosses it in the garbage can. She places Tobin’s cup back in its’ place and sees she is finished. She grabs her hand again and leads her to the couch in the living room. 

“Sit.” She commands as she leaves the room. She returns with a couple of pillows and tosses them on the couch. Then she grabs a blanket off the recliner and stands in front of the TV with the remote in her hands. As a movie begins, she settles on the far right side of the couch with her feet on the ottoman, a pillow propped behind her head and drapes a blanket over her legs. As she puts the second pillow on her lap, she calls out to Tobin quietly. 

“Tobin, come here, asthore,” 

Kate hands Tobin the blanket off the back of the couch as she scoots over and slowly stretches out with the pillow to her chest and head in Kate’s lap. Her left hand grips Kate’s left knee tightly as Kate begins to rub her back. 

Kate’s fingertips can feel Tobin’s breath hitch and her thigh feels a teardrop. She moves her right hand to cradle Tobin’s head. Samson whimpers from his spot on the floor. 

“It’s okay, Sammy,” Kate says quietly. “She’s gonna be okay.” she squeezes Tobin’s shoulder as she says it and Tobin lets out a soft sob. Her shoulders are moving with her cries and her grip on Kate’s knee is getting painful. She calms after a few minutes then wiggles her right hand behind Kate’s back and grips her hip. She releases Kate’s knee and moves her hand behind her back and Kate takes it in hers. 

They lay like this for the first half of the movie, Kate unsure if Tobin is awake or not. Her breathing is shallow and rhythmic. She can feel that she’s relaxed but she hasn’t grown heavy on her like a child does as they fall asleep in your lap. 

“Tobin,” she says gently as she pauses the movie, “I need to eat something,” she taps her head so she can get up. 

Tobin gets off the couch and heads to her room. Kate’s concerned, she doesn’t know what’s going on in her head, especially since she really hasn’t spoken in the two hours she’s been home. Kate just trusts her gut and makes her way to the kitchen. She feeds Samson and as she’s cutting the sandwich in half to place on a plate for Tobin, she appears at her side. 

“PB and J?” she asks. Kate nods. “You want chips with that?” 

“You have chips?” Kate asks dramatically. 

Tobin offer her a subdued smile, “Yeah, I’ll show you my junk food stash.” 

She turns to the pantry and pulls out a box of protein mix. She opens it and Kate sees that it’s filled with candy, candy bars and little bags of chips. 

“Ha!” she laughs. “Pretty good hiding spot!” she says as she reaches for a bag. 

Tobin smiles as she takes one as well and then closes and puts it away. Kate hands her a glass of water and they both make their way back to the couch. Kate sits back in her corner and Tobin sits next to her, their legs and shoulders touching. 

“Why is she so upset about her dowry?” Tobin questions before Kate continues the movie. They’re watching The Quiet Man starring John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara. 

“It’s a custom to receive it. It represents her freedom from her family and her identity.” Kate explains. 

“But she got the furniture, she doesn’t need the money.” Tobin presses. 

“It’s legally hers and she feels it validates her marriage. It’s, like, what she brings to the table, so to speak.” Tobin nods. 

They silently watch the film as they eat. When Kate is finished, she leans forward to place her plate on the coffee table but Tobin intercepts it and gets up from the couch. She walks to the kitchen and puts the dishes in the sink. 

Kate removes her neck brace and sets it down on the coffee table and goes to the kitchen. She slides past Tobin and opens the freezer. 

“Dessert?” Tobin asks. Her voice is near normal, still subdued, as if she is unsure how to speak to Kate. 

“For you? Yeah, ice for your back.” Kate smirks. “I’m not gonna let Robin be mad at me.” Tobin frowns. 

“We’ll have something later, okay?” Kate barters as she hugs Tobin. They stay locked in the embrace as Tobin tries to communicate to her how incredibly grateful she is for her presence. Kate doesn’t push her to talk and seemingly knows exactly what Tobin needs. 

“Where are your plastic baggies?” Kate asks. Tobin groans and retrieves them. 

“What’s up with the brace?” Tobin asks as they head back to the couch. 

“I talked to Liz earlier,” Kate explains. “She said it was okay to take it off for sleeping and laying around.” 

She hands Tobin the ice pack and arranges the pillows on the end of the couch. She lays down, fully extended across the cushions. She reaches a hand out to Tobin for her to lay down. Tobin slowly places a knee in between her legs as she brings herself gently onto Kate. She balances the ice pack on her back and slowly pulls the blanket over her. 

With her head on Kate’s chest she brings her arms around her waist as Kate lifts each hip up so she has easier access. She holds Kate tightly. 

Kate starts the movie and slowly rubs Tobin’s upper back and shoulders. After a few minutes she gently frees Tobin’s hair from the ponytail and shakes it out softly. Then she brings her nails to the base of Tobin’s neck and scratches lightly. 

Tobin shivers and squirms as goosebumps spread across her whole body. Kate smiles as she brings her hand to the nape of Tobin’s neck and grabs a fistful of hair, pulling slightly. She releases it and runs her fingers through her hair. She repeats the move as they continue watching the movie. 

Tobin laughs outright at some parts of the movie. It’s a genuine laugh and it warms Kate’s heart. She’s smiling as she anticipates the next scenes to hear Tobin’s reaction and she’s rewarded with her musical laugh. She’s grateful she made this her movie choice, it always works for her when she’s feeling down. 

She feels Tobin must be feeling overwhelmed by the strong emotions she’s been experiencing and how they presented themselves physically to her earlier. She wonders if Tobin has ever had a panic attack or been around any victims of trauma. 

She remembers how she felt after some of her own therapy sessions. Ranging from being ashamed to furious to masturbating to relieve her overdriven sexual self. The guilt she felt talking about how she orgasmed while being raped. The dark ideas creeping into her consciousness about being tied up and dominated. Dominating another. Trying to swear it off and then trying to find partners who might be interested in doing that. 

Don’t go there she warns herself as she subtly shifts underneath Tobin’s weight. Ignore what you’re feeling with this one right now. She’s not in the right mindset for anything like this. Be careful. 

The movie ends and Kate wonders what to do next. Will Tobin talk? Does she need space? Should she leave? Tobin’s been letting her lead the whole evening and seems grateful for   
what she’s been doing. She just hasn’t vocalized anything. 

Kate leans forward and puts her hand under the blanket and removes the melting ice pack from Tobin’s back. She places it on the ottoman near her feet. 

“Thanks,” Tobin murmurs as she shifts a little. 

Kate takes both her hands and lightly grips Tobin’s head slowly moving it so she’s looking at her. “How are you doing?” she asks quietly. 

Tobin’s eyes flick down as she responds. “I don’t think I can handle this,” she says. “I don’t like how I feel.” 

Kate strokes Tobin’s cheek with her left hand. “I’m guessing you had a day of big emotions,” Kate starts, “I don’t need to hear it, not if you’re not ready to share. It’s okay to not be okay after a day like that. What scares me is that you’re keeping it in.” she looks away for a moment. 

“I kept in for a long time and all that did was mess me up more, Tobin.” She continues. “For me, it wasn’t until I realized music was my outlet to feel better. Not performing, just playing. Other than hitting a soccer ball, do you have something that helps you feel better?” 

“My journal.” Tobin replies. 

“Consider doing some of that tonight, love. See if it helps.” Kate suggests. 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, pulling back to get up from the couch. “That’s a good idea.” 

She sits sideways on the couch and pulls Kate’s legs on her lap. She’s stroking her shin with a hand and looking down. “Thank you.” She looks up at Kate. 

“Thank you for being everything I needed tonight.” She says. “I don’t know how it’s possible that we’ve only known each other for, like, two weeks and you know me so well. I can’t convey to you how grateful I am that you’re here with me.” She finishes quietly. 

Kate swings her legs off the couch and gets up. She takes Tobin’s hands and pulls her off the couch and into a hug. 

Tobin clings tightly to her, sighing deeply as they hold each other. 

“I’m gonna go journal for a bit,” she says as she pulls away. “Maybe that will help me process things a little.” 

“Sounds good,” Kate smiles. “I think I saw some Dove bars in the freezer, dessert in a while?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin smiles. It’s a genuine smile and Kate returns one just as big and sincere.


	21. Shut Up And Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Kate share some intimacy- smut warning.  
> Tobin meets Kate's friends.  
> Tobin gets to hear Kate's band. Their friends all get together and shenanigans ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a huge chapter. Gotta admit, I'm pretty proud of this one. My favorite so far. So, curl up with a drink and a snack a I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Kate's band plays out and if you're interested, here's the playlist. So, I get a lot of shit because my music tastes rarely go past 2002. So, bare with me. Maybe you want to give a listen to these songs as Kate introduces them to give it more depth. Or maybe not. You do you. 
> 
> 'Ol 55- Sarah McLachlan  
> I Am Your Child- Barry Manilow (give it a chance, yo)  
> Why Walk When You Can Fly- Mary Chapin Carpenter  
> Shut Up and Kiss Me- Mary Chapin Carpenter  
> Closer I Am To Fine- Indigo Girls  
> Tonight The Heartache's On Me- Dixie Chicks  
> Photograph- Ringo Starr  
> To Make You Feel My Love- Adele  
> Handle With Care- Traveling Wilburys  
> Best Of What's Around- Dave Matthews Band  
> What I Am- Cathy Richardson
> 
> So, some of these you might know, others, maybe not. Let me know if you like them. And thanks so much for the comments. The feedback really means something. 
> 
> Have a safe and Happy 4th- keep all of your digits intact!

“What does Monday look like for you?” Tobin asks Kate. It’s Friday and they’re sitting at the table with their phones out reviewing schedules. 

“I have a doctor’s appointment at noon and that’s it.” Kate replies. 

“Mine’s at ten and then I see Jen at four.” Tobin states. “I don’t know if they’re going to want an MRI,” she trails off. 

“Are you going to be okay going with Robin?” Kate looks at her. 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies. “I think it will be fine.” She says with conviction. 

 

Last night Tobin hung out in her room writing in her journal. She wandered out after ninety minutes looking for a hug from Kate and Dove bar. Her mood was brighter, not her normal self, Kate wouldn’t have expected it. They talked quietly about when they were kids, how they fell in love with the sports they played. Kate again held Tobin tightly as they fell asleep. 

In the morning, Robin informed Tobin of the doctor appointment. Since she was having some discomfort and tightness, they wanted to check it out. She limited Tobin to some stretching and icing. No biking. No bands. They were backing off her therapy until they could determine what was going on. 

Tobin took it well enough. She was disappointed but looking at the big picture of her health, she didn’t want to be reckless with an injury. She missed the pitch terribly, missed her teammates. She was feeling so removed from them this week with their evening meetings and them being gone next week. 

Not driving was starting to wear on her as well. She liked to be able to hop in her car and head out for a drive anytime she wanted. Play some music loud and forget about everything for a time. She knew Kate was sensing her restlessness but she didn’t know exactly how to vocalize it. 

“Tobin,” Kate says softly, “how would you feel about hanging out at my place for the weekend?” she asks. 

Tobin smiles. “That would be pretty awesome.” She agrees. “I’m getting cabin fever being cooped up here.”

“I know you said you have some paperwork and emails to work on,” Kate starts. 

“I can just bring my laptop with,” Tobin offers. “Want to go tonight?” 

“You sure?” Kate smiles. 

Tobin nods. “After nap?” 

Kate shakes her head. “Yes, after nap, we’ll pack up.” 

When they awoke, Kate packed up quickly and then took Samson out for a short walk. She knew he would enjoy being back home so he could run free for a while and burn off some energy. She smiled at the thought of having Tobin spend time at her place. In her bed. Knock it off, she warned herself. She’s not ready. You’re not ready. Okay, maybe you are. But you have to respect her and let her dictate how far she wants to go. 

She finds Tobin in her bedroom zipping up a soft sided bag. “Bring a bathing suit?” she asks with a smile.

“Um, no? Should I grab one?” Tobin looks up at her. 

“Yeah,” Kate nods. “I have a beach.” 

They grab the cooler and throw some of the food items in there and Tobin grabs a six pack of her beer. 

In the Uber, Kate elbows Tobin for her attention. “Would it be cool if I invited some friends over to watch the game tomorrow?” she’s looking down at her phone. 

“Yeah, sure.” Tobin agrees. “We have that salmon, I can make dinner before the game, if you want.” She offers. 

Kate nods and smiles and starts texting. 

Tobin’s grinning at her mischievously on the back deck. 

“What?” Kate questions suspiciously.  
“I feel like I’m on vacation.” Tobin grins. “Wanna get baked?” 

Kate laughs. They’ve unpacked, she’s sorted her mail and Tobin’s gone through her emails and completed whatever paperwork she’s needed to. They have no other obligations for the night. 

“You know,” Tobin explains. “This will help my back.” Her seriousness is betrayed by the shit eating grin plastered on her face. 

“I’m sure it will help my neck.” Kate nods in agreement. 

They sit on the deck passing the bowl to each other a couple of times as they talk about their families. Tobin explains her relationship with her Dad and how she hasn’t spoken to him directly since everything happened. It hurts her that he hasn’t called but it also makes her feel bad about herself that she hasn’t reached out to him either. 

“I’m sorry you’re going through this with your Dad.” Kate says, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs. “It just sucks.” She takes a deep breath. “Let’s talk about something happy.” 

“Well,” Kate says as she pulls Tobin out of her chair, “I’m happy you’re here.” She plants a kiss on her nose.

“Me too,” Tobin says and gives her a soft kiss on the lips. “I’m getting hungry. What do you wanna do for dinner?” 

“Enchiladas and Spanish rice?” Kate quirks an eyebrow. 

“Sounds great!” she says as she grabs her hand, heading for the door.

 

“We should head in,” Kate says as she sees Tobin growing increasingly drowsy by the minute. They’re in the woodshop and have selected all the pieces to use for her cool wall piece. Tobin had taken a muscle relaxer after dinner because her back was bothering her. 

“I hate how this makes me feel,” Tobin complains as they walk back to the house. 

“Backs are tricky things,” Kate cautions, “you don’t want to screw it up more.” 

“I know, but these meds just make me feel like a zombie.” Tobin leans into Kate as they walk. “I feel so clumsy.” 

“As if you were graceful,” Kate laughs. “Nice wood pile selection, eh?” 

Earlier Tobin had grabbed a board and as Kate warned her to be careful, Tobin grinned at her and claimed she was a pro. As she pulled the board out, it triggered a small avalanche of boards and she narrowly escaped injury. 

“Most of the time I am,” Tobin grumbled with a grin. 

 

 

“Yes,” Tobin moans, “please.” 

Kate awakens and opens an eye to see Tobin next to her, legs moving in bed. She’s flat on her back, the covers flung off with her right arm above her head gripping the wrought iron rail of the headboard. Her left hand is gripping her chest over her sleep shirt, squeezing her breast gently.  
Kate’s head pops up when she realizes what is happening. She’s witnessing Tobin having a very sexual dream but she not sure if it’s a nightmare or what. Should I wake her, she wonders. 

“Kate,” Tobin whispers, “please. I need it.” Holy shit, Kate thinks.

What the fuck do I do now, Kate thinks. Ignore her? Pretend as if she’s not doing this here? She lays her head back on her pillow as she watches Tobin’s face. Her eyes are screwed shut, her brow furrowed and she’s starting to breathe faster. 

Kate’s mouth opens as she sees Tobin’s hand leave her breast and slowly trail down towards her waist. “Kate, please,” Tobin pleads. 

She’s not going to touch Tobin at all. No way, she thinks. I don’t want her to think I’m taking advantage of her. 

“Kate,” Tobin moans as her hand hovers over her center. Is she going to, Oh my God, she is, Kate realizes. 

She does it. She sees Tobin’s shoulder drop as her hand slides between her legs. She can just see Tobin’s hand slide under the waistband of her sleep shorts. Tobin takes a deep breath as she quickens her pace. 

“Yes,” she moans. “Don’t stop,” she says. Her voice low, drowsy and full of want.

Kate’s head is up and she’s gripping her pillow as she watches this unfold. Tobin’s hips start moving slowly as fingers tease herself. 

“Right there,” she breathes out. Hips beginning to thrust higher. “Mmmmm” she hums as her legs spread out wider. Hips beginning to buck forward. 

“Oooohhhh” Tobin groans loudly. Kate thinks she’s going to cum just watching this. 

“Uh,” Tobin grunts, “uh, uh,” her head leaves her pillow and her back arches. “Kaaaaaaaate!” she moans as she cums. She flops back onto the mattress, breathing heavy.

Kate studies her closely as Tobin lays there, eyes closed, catching her breath. She’s not awake, she surmises. Those muscle relaxers must be pretty strong. She’s beautiful. She wants to touch her but she knows that wouldn’t be the best thing to do. 

She snuggles back under the covers as she still watches her come down. Tobin slowly rolls to her side, facing Kate with a hint of a smile on her face. She sighs deeply as she scrunches into her pillow, oblivious to Kate and the world.

Kate’s never witnessed something like this before. Sure, she’s been with a few girls who liked to masturbate together but they would both be awake and experiencing it along side each other. How am I going to handle this in the morning, she wonders. 

She rolls flat on her back, thinking. I’ll just let Tobin take the lead and sees what she says and go from there she decides. She sighs again and rolls over away from Tobin and drifts off to sleep. 

 

Kate feels eyes on her, studying her. She doesn’t hear Samson’s panting so she knows it’s Tobin. She cracks an eye open. Tobin is peering at her with a slightly confused look on her face. “Morning,” Kate says sleepily.

“Hey,” Tobin says, her voice a little off, groggy. 

Kate looks at her as the memory of last night comes rushing back to her. “What’s wrong?” she asks quietly. 

“Did we,” Tobin clears her throat, “did we, um, do it last night?” she asks nervously. 

“No,” Kate replies seriously, “we didn’t.” 

“Oh,” Tobin says, her forehead creased with worry lines. She rolls on back sighing loudly and stares at the ceiling. “It must have been a dream.” She mumbles. 

“Are you okay?” Kate asks quietly. 

“Yeah,” Tobin answers. “I guess, it, just,” she stops. “It was just so vivid.” She’s rubbing her face with her hands. 

This is it, Kate thinks. Do or die. I hope I don’t kill her from embarrassment. “Yeah, it was.” 

Tobin’s head quickly turns to look at her. “What?” 

Kate reaches for Tobin’s hand and takes it with both of hers. “You were a little vocal last night.” 

“I was?” Tobin’s astonished. 

“Yeah,” Kate nods. “You, um, were asking for me.” 

Tobin’s eyes go wide as she begins to remember some of her dream. “You heard?” 

“Yeah,” Kate smiles at her. 

“Oh my God,” Tobin exclaims loudly. Her eyes, wide and panicked. “I’m so sorry! I’m so embarrassed! I don’t know what I was thinking. I keep having these dreams and they’re so twisted-“

“Tobin,” Kate squeezes her hand with both of hers. “Stop.” She says. “It’s okay, it’s alright,” she smiles at her. 

Tobin nods as she closes her eyes. “You must think I’m a freak.” Tobin won’t look at her. Kate thinks she sees tears forming in her eyes. “Hey, hey,” she soothes, “you’re fine. I understand those dreams. I had them for months. They’re confusing.” 

Kate pulls Tobin close to her and hugs her tight. “It’s okay, mavourneen.” She whispers in her ear. “It’s okay.” 

She holds her for a moment and slides on top of her. Redirect her attention, she thinks. “It was really hot,” she says as she kisses her. Tobin’s lips find hers and they slowly explore each other’s mouths. Tobin gently bites Kate’s lower lip and when she releases it, Kate moves her head to lightly kiss Tobin’s neck. 

“You almost,” Kate whispers in her ear, “had me cumming just watching you.” She tongues Tobin’s ear then she moves back to her neck. Tobin moans at the touch and brings her hips forward. 

“Was it hot?” Tobin mumbles. 

“Yeah, it was,” Kate breathes hotly against her neck. She slowly pulls away and looks at her. “Play your cards right today and maybe I’ll give you a show tonight, champ.” She smirks.  
Tobin’s eyes shoot wide at this. She grins. “I’ll hold you to that,” she smirks and slaps Kate’s ass. 

Kate laughs and buries her head in Tobin’s neck. “We’ll see!” 

 

“This is really good, Tobin!” Liz exclaims as she takes another bite. “When Kate told me you were cooking, I was a little nervous.” She admits. 

“Liz!” Kate screeches. 

“Come on!” Liz elbows her. “I’m only basing it off of you!” she explains. She looks at Tobin. “When I first met her, she was fresh out of college and let’s just say, her cooking skills were subpar.” 

“Okay,” Tobin says drawing out the word. She’s a little confused. 

Liz notices. “She was an elite athlete. You are an elite athlete. She couldn’t cook. Therefore, I thought you couldn’t.” she smiles. “Thanks for proving me wrong.” 

“You’re such a dick, Liz.” Kate complains. 

“That’s a pretty small subject sampling, Liz.” Jen smiles. 

Tobin laughs. “Before I was in high school, my Mom made it a point to show me how to cook stuff,” she says. “In the off season, the place I trained at was only about a half hour away so I was home most nights. My Mom would help me make dinner and explain how to read recipes and understand the different types of pots and pans.” 

“That’s so cool!” Jen exclaims. 

“Yeah and then when I signed on my first pro team, I moved to California. I was living with a couple of other girls and we would be responsible for most of our meals. My Mom made this awesome scrapbook with recipes and her tips of how to make cooking easier.” 

“That’s really sweet,” Kate says. “Did she pass down family favorites?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods. 

“Well, I know how to make my Mom’s famous stuffing for Thanksgiving. But putting together something like this? I don’t think I’d pass.” Laughs Kayla.  
Jen, Kate and Liz quickly glance at each other. 

“The Great Chicken Failure of 2012” Liz says. 

Kayla buries her head in her hands. “Guys!” 

Tobin looks around the table as the other girls are laughing hysterically. 

“So,” Kate says as she laughs, putting her hand on Tobin’s forearm. “Kayla invites us over for a chicken dinner. The chicken was,” she pauses, “not so good.” 

“The stuffing was!” Liz laughs. 

“I barely got home before I was violently puking and crapping myself.” Jen laughs as she shakes her head. 

“Let’s just say, we all met up again at around two in the morning at the ER for food poisoning.” Kate explains. 

“That’s awful!” Tobin exclaims. 

“Yeah,” Jen giggles, “it was but now…” she’s laughing. 

“Now,” Kayla says dramatically, “these dicks won’t ever let me forget it. Just last year when I mentioned I was going to have my boyfriend over for dinner for the FIRST time, and these assholes have someone deliver Imodium, barf bags, toilet paper and directions to the hospital to MY HOUSE while we’re eating dinner!” 

The table erupts in laughter. 

“You’re all so lucky Tom loves me,” Kayla says as she points her fork around the table. “I was so embarrassed having to explain to him what it was all about.” 

Tobin reaches for her beer and takes a sip. The night has gone so well. Kate’s friends are cool and laid back, welcoming Tobin instantly and setting her at ease. She feels comfortable and senses that Kate does too. Kate didn’t mention it or show any nerves but she knows tonight is important. She doesn’t feel strange hanging out with Jen after she confessed to her the awful things that happened. Jen doesn’t give her knowing looks or asks any prying questions. She’s really great, Tobin thinks. 

“Oh!” Liz exclaims. “Ten minutes to game time! Where are we watching it Kate?” 

“Let’s stay here,” Kate suggests. 

They all stand up and take their plates to the island and Liz and Tobin begin scraping and rinsing them before placing them in the dishwasher. Kayla and Kate wrap any leftovers and place the pans in the sink. “I’ll get them at half time,” Kate insists. 

They grab drinks and settle in the family room. Kate pats a spot for Tobin next to her on the couch with Liz on the far side. Jen and Kayla take seats in the recliners. 

They cue up the feed and Liz asks Tobin for her take on Seattle. As Tobin is sharing her thoughts, Kate gets up and excuses herself for a moment. 

The National Anthem has been completed and there’s a commercial break for kick off. Kate enters the room wearing an older Thorns t-shirt and hat with a scarf draped around her neck and a sly smirk on her face. 

Tobin arches an amused eyebrow at her as she sits down next to her. The others laugh. 

“What’s this?” Tobin asks. 

“Ah, mavourneen,” Kate says laughing, “I don’t want you to get the idea I hate your team!” 

“You did last week,” Tobin teases back. 

“That’s because they played Chicago!” Liz laughs. 

Tobin nods and takes a drink, smirk on her face. Kate bumps her shoulder and gives her a smile. “I can’t wait to wear this to your first game back,” she says quietly, “although this shirt needs to go.” 

Tobin looks at her questioningly. 

“I need a Heath jersey,” Kate smiles. 

The smile doesn’t leave Tobin’s face to for the entire first half. Even when Jess Fishlock scores in the first minute. The girls are fun to watch the game with. Liz yelling loudly and animatedly at the screen, Jen offering creative cusses to the refs and bad calls and Kayla asking what happened when the Thorns score on a Seattle own goal. 

Kate intertwines her hand with Tobin’s and rubs her thumb on the back of her hand as they watch. She feels Tobin tense up as plays develop and then sink back into the couch when plays fall apart. The Thorns look sloppy and the midfield isn’t clicking with the defense or offense. Seattle scores again in the thirty-ninth minute. Glancing at her, she sees Tobin’s biting her lip with her eyes on the screen. The Thorns are down 1-2 going into the half. 

Kate brings disentangles her hand from Tobin and moves it to her back and begins to lightly trail her nails down it. Tobin arches forward a little and turns to her offering a tight lipped smile. Kate winks at her and pulls her in towards her in a side embrace. 

At half time Tobin pops up and declares she’s cleaning the pots because she has to do something. Kate gets her set up at the sink and gets drinks for the rest of the girls. Samson starts barking at the front door and leaves the kitchen to see who’s there. 

“Steve!” she exclaims loudly. “What are you doing here?” Moments later she appears in the kitchen with an older man. Tobin recognizes him as the cop on the scene outside of the house. The one who took Kate’s shirt. 

“Hi Tobin!” he greets heartily offering a hand. “Nice to meet you!” 

“You too, Steve.” Tobin smiles back as they shake. 

“Tobin, can Steve have one of your beers?” Kate asks. 

“Absolutely!” Tobin smiles. “Help yourself,” she offers. 

“He loves German beers and I told him yours is the best one I’ve ever had.” Kate explains. 

“Maybe we’ll get another convert,” Tobin laughs. 

“Is it a Weiss beer?” Steve asks as he’s inspecting the label. “Texas?” 

Kate and Tobin nod. “You want a glass?” Kate asks. 

“Nah,” Steve says waving his hand. “Hey, the game is back on.” He says as he greets the others and takes a seat on the loveseat. 

Tobin and Kate return to the couch and Kate is practically on Tobin’s lap. In the eighty-second minute Kling sends in a beautiful ball for Allie to head into the goal. Everyone is on their feet yelling and cheering for the equalizer. Tobin sits forward on the couch, tense, for the rest of the game. Kate’s hand is on her back rubbing lightly. 

The game ends in a tie and Kate gives Tobin a hug. “It’s because I’m wearing my gear,” she smiles. 

“You’re a lucky charm.” Tobin grins as Kate leans in to give her a kiss. 

There’s another knock at the door and Liz answers it. She comes back with a group of five or so people smiling as they see Kate. Kate looks surprised as she goes to greet them. She looks for Tobin after giving them all hugs and cocks her head, motioning for her to come over. Tobin moves to the group and Kate introduces them. 

Liz gets them all drinks and Tobin sees some of them have brought their own. She shoots Kate a searching look and Kate shrugs her shoulders. 

As Liz is in the kitchen opening a bottle of wine, Kate corners her. “So,” she says suspiciously at Liz, “what’s up?” 

“Uh,” Liz smiles, “jam night. You can go back to the house whenever you want, I’ll lock up.” 

“Oh,” Kate’s surprised. “okay, do you think I can play a little? I haven’t touched my guitar in a while.” 

“Hey Fred!” Liz calls, “Come here!” she motions. 

Tobin is in the family room, standing by the couch speaking with Jen about the game. She can see a little huddle in the kitchen and wonders what it’s about. Jen taps her arm. “You might be in for a treat tonight.” 

“Oh?” she asks. 

“Jam night with the band,” she informs her. “You’ll get to see your girl play.” She grins. 

A few minutes later, Tobin is looking at her phone when Kate snakes an arm around her. “What’s up, buttercup?” she asks playfully. 

“Uh, the girls want to get together tonight. Pinoe wants to see me and so do the others before they leave.” Tobin explains with a frown on her face. 

“Ask them to come here?” Kate invites. “Plenty of room, plenty of drinks. Maybe even some midnight pancakes.” She smiles. 

“Really? You’d be cool with that?” Tobin asks. “’Cause I could just go-“ 

“Tobin, invite your friends here. Have them Uber because I think they’ll get a little shitfaced.” Kate smirks and kisses her. 

Tobin hugs her and starts texting. A few moments later, she’s talking with Steve and feels her phone. She apologizes to him and looks at it. A huge grin crosses her face. They’re coming. 

“My friends are coming over,” she tells him happily. 

“Cool, can’t wait to meet them.” He says genuinely. He has a gentle way about him and Tobin can see why Kate speaks so highly of him. “Now, you text me the info about this beer because it is one of the best I’ve ever had.” They take out their phones and exchange info with Tobin promising him the brewery information. 

People are leaving the house and heading for the barn to tune up and get started. Tobin passes through the family room, picking up cups and empty bottles. Kate returns to the kitchen from her bedroom where she’s changed clothes. She has on faded jeans with the red Thorns shirt still and a navy and red plaid flannel. 

“They coming?” Kate asks her as Tobin is removing the full garbage bag and placing an empty one in it. 

“Yeah,” she says smiling broadly. 

Kate turns and looks around seeing that they’re the only two in the house. She pulls Tobin in and kisses her deeply. Tobin reciprocates and glides her hands along Kate’s sides as she does so. Kate moans lightly as she grips the back of Tobin’s head and pulls her in again. They make out for a couple of minutes and pull apart breathless. 

“Let’s go!” Kate exclaims and takes her to the deck. She pulls out her bowl and lights up, “I just want to take the edge off, I’m a little nervous.” She explains. 

They both take a couple of hits and head to the barn. Tobin sees the band members are milling around with their instruments, doing a soundcheck. More people are gathered in the open space in front of them. On the wall to the left is a bar complete with a chest high refrigerator with glass doors she didn’t notice before. Kate gives her hand a quick squeeze and heads to the band. Jake is standing behind the bar, curling a finger in Tobin’s direction. 

“Hi Jake!” she says as they hug across the bar. 

“Tobito!” he exclaims. “Are you on any prescription drugs?” he asks. 

Tobin shakes her head, confused. “Not today?”  
“Good,” he smirks as he grabs a bottle. “You’re doing two shots with me. Come around to this side.” He orders. She does as she’s told and stands next to him. 

He puts a large arm around her as he pours four shots of whiskey into shot glasses. “Tobin,” he says seriously. “I know you and Kate haven’t been together long, but I’ve never, ever seen my sister so happy and at peace than when she’s been with you.” He gives her a side hug. 

“When she talks about you, her whole body reacts. Her face lights up, her eyes gleam and she’s so animated speaking about you.” He continues. 

“You two are good for each other.” He states as he hands her a shot glass. 

“She’s awesome,” Tobin agrees. “She knows what I need before I do,” 

“Aye, that she does,” Jake says knowingly. He raises his glass. “Our first toast is to Kate. May you both old grow together!” 

They clink glasses and take the shot. Tobin is shocked at how smooth the whiskey is. It doesn’t burn her throat, in fact, it tastes really good. 

“What is this?” she asks him. 

“Tullamore Dew, a nectar created from God’s own hand across the pond on the old sod,” he replies with a deep Irish brogue. 

“It’s so smooth,” Tobin comments. 

“Aye, that it is,” he agrees as he hands her another shot. “To our Lord and Savior, for you and Kate, he made ya and he matched ya, may he heal ya and bless ya.” They clink glasses and down the final shot. 

He pulls Tobin into a bear hug and holds the back of her head with his huge hand. 

They pull apart and he nods to his left. “Go to your lass, she’s looking for ya,” he hands her a water bottle and slaps her ass.

Tobin looks and sure enough, Kate is looking her way. She smiles as she leaves the bar area and makes her way to Kate. 

“What trouble are you getting into?” Kate questions her suspiciously with a gleam in her eye. 

“I ran into your brother,” Tobin smiles as she explains. “He insisted we have a couple of shots.”

“Oh, Lord,” Kate raises her eyes to the roof. “What did he make you toast to?” 

“We toasted to you and God.” Tobin replies sassily. “Two of my favorites.” She takes Kate in her arms and gives her a kiss and she squeezes her ass. 

“Okay, champ,” Kate laughs. “Stay away from him for the rest of the night or you’ll be feeling awful tomorrow. He’s trouble.” 

Tobin grins as she holds up her water bottle. “Yes ma’am, will do!” 

For the next half an hour, Tobin is meeting a flood of Kate’s friends and their significant others. Jen or Kayla are always by her side, making introductions and keeping conversations quick before moving Tobin to the next group. The three of them are taking a break and getting some fresh air by the doors when they see two vehicles pull up and a bunch of girls exit. 

“They’re here!” Tobin says happily as she pulls Jen and Kayla with her to meet them. 

“Harry!” Allie shrieks as she runs up to her. She pulls Tobin into a hug, lifts her off her feet and spins her around. “I’ve missed you!” 

“So have I,” Tobin laughs as she hangs on to Allie’s arm to wait out her spinning head. 

Tobin introduces Kayla and Jen to Allie, Sinc, Emily, Kling, Brittani, Mana, Lindsey and Pinoe. The two invite the girls to follow them to the bar while Pinoe hangs back with Tobin. 

“It’s so good to see you,” Megan says with tears in her eyes. “I was so scared for you.” 

“Thanks,” Tobin says as they hug again. 

“You doing alright?” she asks Tobin. 

“Pretty good, getting there.” Tobin replies. 

“Well, let’s go have some fun!” Megan takes her hand and they enter the building. “Where’s the bar?” 

Jake has shots lined up on the bar and is shouting various ridiculous toasts to girls and they are loving every minute of it. He insists Tobin come around the bar with him and makes her pour another round. He pulls out the Tullamore and pours two for them. 

“Your last one,” he says bumping her shoulder. She grins. 

“What have you already toasted?” she asks the group. 

“To soccer!” shouts Pinoe. 

“To cleats!” yells Allie. 

“To shinguards!” laughs Jen. 

“Wait, I got it!” Sinc says, waving her hands. She raises her shot glass. “To Tobin! We love you!” 

“To Tobin!” the group shouts. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see that most of others were drawn to the loud toast. She raises her glass higher and downs the shot. Jake hugs her and she moves out from behind the bar. 

Kayla finds her and hands her another water bottle and give her a hug. “They’re awesome!’ she grins. 

“Yeah,” Tobin shakes her head as she glances back, she sees Jen and Steve are talking with the girls laughing at something Pinoe said. 

She arches her back a little feeling the tightness creeping in from standing too long. Kayla notices. “You wanna sit for a bit?” she asks. 

“Sure,” Tobin agrees. She doesn’t know if it’s just a coincidence or if Kayla is that perceptive.

“Good, ‘cause I know where the best seats in the house are!” Kayla grins as she takes Tobin’s hand and pulls her along. 

There’s a clear space in front of the band and Tobin didn’t realize that they are actually on a stage higher up from the ground. Miss much, she wonders. Kayla leads her to the left side a few feet away from the piano. 

“This is where your girl hangs out.” Kayla leans in to inform her with a grin and an eyebrow wiggle. 

Tobin blushes and Kayla playfully slaps her arm. 

The lights dim and stage lighting appears on the band. Kate takes a drink of water and steps up to the microphone. She’s wearing a straw cowboy with a navy bandana as the headband, her long hair flowing out from underneath. God, she looks so hot, Tobin thinks.

“Hey everyone!” Kate greets. “Thanks for coming out to Jam Night.” Applause fills the barn. “I’ve been cleared by Fred to play as long as there’s no headbanging.” She grins. “I want to thank everyone one of you that’s been there for me these past few weeks. I’m so happy to be able to stand up here and see your faces.” 

Shouts of ‘Love you Kate!’ come from the back of the barn. 

“Love you too guys,” Kate smiles. “So, let’s get to this, yeah?” Everyone yells and applauds. 

“The band has let me choose the first set list and tonight we’re playing songs that made me love music. There’s gonna be some oldies, some goodies and some you might not know. But each of these songs have meaning to me, whether it’s the lyrics or the music. This one is both.” Kate grins as she moves to the piano. 

She begins the first chords and starts to sing: 

 

“Well my time has come quickly,  
I go lickety-splity, down to my ol’ 55,  
I pulled away slowly,  
feeling so holy God knows I was feeling alive.” 

 

Tobin is instantly mesmerized. The hair on the back of her neck stands on end and she feel goosebumps break out down her arms. When the chorus starts, the harmony with the background singers is so smooth, she looks to see Liz on the right corner, singing and holding a wine glass in the air as her voice blends magically with Kate’s. She doesn’t know this song but it’s instantly a favorite. 

When it’s over, Tobin hears clapping and yelling and whistling and she lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. 

“Thanks!” Kate smiles out to the crowd, “This next one, this one is for my parents. I miss them so much, but I don’t miss them when I play this. This is I Am Your Child.” 

 

“I am your child,  
wherever you go,  
You take me too,  
Whatever I know,  
I learned from you.  
Whatever I do,  
You taught me to do,  
I am Your child,  
And I am your chance…” 

 

Tobin’s enthralled by Kate’s voice and her playing. These lyrics she’s singing are nearly bringing her to tears. It’s a beautiful song, so simple, yet so moving. When it ends she’s standing as she cheers and looks over her shoulder to see so is everyone else. 

Tobin turns her head to see where everyone is and notices Jen huddled with Sinc and Allie near the open doors. It looks like they’re in a serious conversation with Allie gesturing with her hands and Sinc looking almost grim. Just as Tobin thinks she maybe should go over there, they clink their beer bottles together laughing and Jen gives each of them a hug. She shakes her head, grateful everyone is getting along. 

“Thanks,” Kate says quietly, “that’s a special one.” She clears her throat and looks over to the bar and gives Jake a quick head tilt. “This next one made me realize that the world is a big place with a lot bad shit happening whether it’s crime, poverty, humanity, politics, whatever. We have to pursue our dreams and keep reaching for happiness. This is Why Walk When You Can Fly.” 

She starts playing the piano with a delicate touch before singing. Then she sings a capella.

“In this world here’s a whole lot of trouble, baby  
In this world there’s a whole of pain.  
In this world there’s a whole lot of trouble, but  
A whole lot of ground to gain.” 

She sings the first two verses before the band comes in with Liz playing the violin and singing harmony. It has a soft country flair with gentle piano throughout. Tobin is loving this. She always enjoys hearing new music and hearing it live is always cool. But when it’s Kate, this sends her into a different orbit. She looks so sexy behind the piano as she plays. She’s so confident, her voice magical with an Adele like quality. 

After the applause dies down Jake brings Kate a beer, she holds it up, says cheers and takes a chug. Tobin squints and recognizes the label. Someone bumps her left shoulder and she turns to see Jake shoving a water in her hand. 

“Sometimes a song is great just because it’s playful and fun.” She smiles and looks right at Tobin. “This is Shut Up and Kiss Me.” 

She starts playing a funky piano riff as the band comes in with a good beat. Again, it has a little flair of country but isn’t super twangy. 

 

“Don't mean to get a little forward with you  
Don't mean to get ahead of where we are  
Don't mean to act a little nervous around you  
I'm just a little nervous about my heart 'cause  
It's been awhile since I felt this feeling  
That everything that you do gives me  
It's been so long since somebody whispered  
Shut up and kiss me.”

 

Kate is looking Tobin as she sings those last two lines with a playful grin on her face. Tobin is blushing furiously as she smiles back at her. She feels a hand on her shoulder and sees Allie smiling down at her. She slips her arm around Tobin’s waist as she stands and listens. 

“They’re pretty fucking awesome Tobin!” Allie exclaims. Tobin nods and grins at her. 

The song is over and Kate looks over at Tobin. Tobin wiggles her eyebrows at her and Kate laughs as she stands up and goes for her guitar. Liz moves over to stand next to Kate as she explains the next song. 

“This one reminds me that sometimes you can’t do it alone. You need people in your life who are smarter than you to help get you through the hard times,” She’s looking at Jen. The she looks over at Liz and smiles. “The good Doctor here is gonna help me with this one. This is Closer I Am To Fine.” 

She starts on her acoustic guitar as one of the other guys joins her on his. 

 

“I'm tryin' to tell you somethin' 'bout my life  
Maybe give me insight between black and white  
And the best thing you've ever done for me  
Is to help me take my life less seriously  
It's only life after all, yeah”

 

The crowd hollers and cheers as Liz sings the next verse. 

“Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable  
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear  
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket  
I sailed my ship of safety 'til I sank it  
I'm crawling on your shores.”

 

The crowd knows this song as they sing along with the chorus. It’s loud, boisterous and fun and as Tobin looks around, she sees everyone is smiling and having a great time. She looks back to Kate and sees her eyes shining as she sings. The song ends to raucous applause and hollering. 

“Now, you know I’m from Chicago but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a good country song. You know, the old tale of being cheated on, the twang and Liz killing it on violin. So, y’all we’re gonna do one called Tonight The Heartache’s On Me.” 

The drummer counts off and Kate begins to sing: 

 

“You could've heard a pin drop  
When they walked through the door  
Had to turn my eyes away  
My heart fell to the floor  
Someone whispered, "Where's her halo?"  
'Cause she had an angel's face  
He stood there smiling, holding on  
To the one who took my place.”

The harmonies start with the chorus and Tobin can hear Pinoe yell out a loud “Yeehaw!” She turns to look and sees they are still gathered around the bar milling and talking with other people. She smiles as she sees them mix in so well. They all look like they’re having a good time. 

When the song over, Kate takes off her hat and wipes the sweat from her forehead as she smiles looking out at the crowd assembled. “Sometimes a sad song helps you make it through tough times. You know, it’s okay to be sad and play sad songs to help you process your emotions. This is one of mine. It’s about lost loved ones. It’s called Photograph.” 

She moves back to the piano and starts playing. 

 

“Every time I see your face  
It reminds me of the places we used to go  
But all I've got is a photograph  
And I realize you're not coming back anymore  
I thought I'd make it  
The day you went away  
But I can't make it  
Till you come home again to stay.”

 

It’s a sad song but somehow the music is uplifting. Tobin can picture herself belting out this song while crying over a breakup or the death of someone. Her thoughts are interrupted by Kate speaking again.

“Sometimes a long song can be sad or happy, I like to think this one is an offering, I just think it’s a beautiful song that reaches into your heart, this is called To Make You Feel My Love.” 

She plays the first chords, glancing nervously at Tobin as she starts to sing: 

 

“When the rain  
Is blowing in your face  
And the whole world  
Is on your case  
I could offer you  
A warm embrace  
To make you feel my love.”

 

Her voice is crystal clear and powerful as she hits the notes. It’s full of emotions and Tobin feels that she’s intentionally not looking at her. The lyrics are full of want and right now, Tobin wants her. She doesn’t care if anyone thinks they are going too fast or they are just bonding over a shared experience. She doesn’t care if her sister thinks she’s in way too deep and will be devastated if Kate hurts her. She doesn’t care if her brother darkly hints that this ‘thing’ he called her relationship with Kate is just something to ease the pain of her kidnapping and rape. She doesn’t care if Allie or Alex thinks she should slow down and think about what she’s doing. She doesn’t care if the press gets wind of her and Kate and she gets outed and she’s splashed across the headlines and branded as yet another gay female athlete. She doesn’t care if churchy people call her a sinner and think she’s disgusting for loving another woman. She doesn’t care. She wants to be with Kate. She wants to spend her life with her and grow old together. She feels it in her bones and knows it’s not the booze talking. She’s getting emotional at the thought of it and quickly swipes her eye to brush back a tear just as Kate finally glances at her. Kate smiles as she sees Tobin give her the most beautiful smile she’s ever seen. Tobin’s eyes are filled with adoration and Kate has never felt so loved as she does in that one quick moment.  
The song is over and somehow the cheering is louder than before. 

“Thanks,” Kate says as she nervously wipes her hands on her jeans, “that song,” she pauses, she doesn’t know what to say, “that’s just some fucking song, yeah?” 

She moves across and grabs her guitar again slinging the strap over her shoulder. She straightens her back a little and a quick flash of discomfort crosses her face. She smiles to cover it but those who are looking see it. 

“So, there’s a couple tunes left for me to play and then we’ll take a break. Before we do that, let’s hear it for the band, yeah?” She turns to face them, “I’ve never met a group quite like this.” She says as she introduces them to much applause. 

“So it’s Jam Night and that means we have got to jam!” Kate nods at the band. “Handle With Care.” 

 

“Been beat up and battered 'round  
Been sent up, and I've been shot down  
You're the best thing that I've ever found  
Handle me with care  
Reputations changeable  
Situations tolerable  
Baby, you're adorable  
Handle me with care.”

 

The band is jamming with everyone getting in on singing some lines. It’s a song you can’t stop your foot from tapping along with. Some couples have drifted to the dance floor laughing and spinning each around. Pinoe and Kayla are swinging each other around and Sinc and Emily are dancing with Jen and Allie. 

“I don’t know about how you guys feel but sometimes I feel like music can capture the emotions you can’t speak. It’s the music of this song showing off these amazing people standing up here with me. When it’s the perfect blend of words and music, it just sets something off in my soul. This song is for all of you guys. This is the Best of What’s Around.” 

She gives a nod and they start playing. 

 

“Hey my friend  
It seems your eyes are troubled  
Care to share your time with me  
Would you say you're feeling low and so  
A good idea would be to get it off your mind

See you and me  
Have a better time than most can dream  
Have it better than the best  
So we can pull on through  
Whatever tears at us  
Whatever holds us down  
And if nothing can be done  
We'll make the best of what's around.”

 

As Tobin listens to the words she realizes this is the one. This is their song. Kate’s done so much for her and she can only hope she gives Kate the same. When Kate sings the line “Turns out not where but who you're with that really matters.” She points her finger to everyone in the barn and finishes looking directly at Tobin. She shakes a chill that runs down her back and smiles as Kate finishes the song. 

The group goes nuts clapping and yelling and Kate turns her back and from her angle Tobin can see she’s wiping her eyes. She turns around smiling. 

“How about these guys, huh?” she yells waving her arm to the band. Another round of applause ensues and Kate grinning wildly. When the barn settles down, she steps up to the microphone. 

“So, Doctor’s orders say this is my last song for the night,” She says, sending a look over to Liz and whom Tobin assumes is Fred. Boos come from the group. “Don’t worry, y’all,” she says, “they’re gonna still be jamming out tonight.” Cheers in response. 

“So my last song is for all the ladies out here tonight,” she announces, “you guys are killing it out there and we have to stick together and keep raising each other up. When we’re feeling those insecurities, those moments of self-doubt, we have to remember to own our awesomeness. This is for you guys.” 

Liz comes up to stand next to her with a mic and her violin. Kate strums her guitar and the band plays softly. 

 

“Intangible, incredible,  
Inventive, unforgettable.  
Exceptional, desirable,  
Successful, undeniable.  
Adaptable, agreeable,  
Approachable, amenable.  
Invaluable, respectable,  
Powerful, indespensible.  
I am beautiful,  
I am magical,  
I am fantastical,  
Nothing’s gonna bring me down!”

 

All of the women in the barn are in front of the stage hopping with a fist raised and when the chorus comes around the second time, they are singing it loudly. It’s an empowering song and everyone is getting into it. 

When Kate finishes, she bows to the applause and once again, swings her arm out to compliment the band. She looks around at all gathered before she speaks. 

“Thanks so much, you guys,” she says as she takes her hat off to wipe the sweat from her forehead again, “I’ve had some moments where I thought I might not be around to do this anymore. Thanks for coming out and being so awesome. I can’t thank you enough, you all mean so much to me.” She looks back at the band, “We’re gonna take a break and then these guys will be back to tear it up some more!” 

She hugs each of her band members as they make their way off stage, embracing Liz for an extra second. Liz is holding Kate’s shoulders and speaking into her ear as Kate nods. Liz hugs her again and they pull apart smiling. Liz smacks her ass as she moves off the stage. 

Kate comes directly to Tobin, ignoring people calling her name. She takes Tobin’s hand and pulls her through the crowd, raising two fingers to Jake as she approaches the bar and he hands her two beers. Tobin’s beer. She leads her outside and walks around the corner of the barn and over to the garden. 

She turns and stands in front of Tobin head down, not looking at her. The barn’s security lighting is reaching far enough to just illuminate her face. She looks up at Tobin and appears scared, vulnerable, nervous and shy. They both take a pull on their beers and Tobin looks at her closely. 

“You are incredible,” Tobin whispers as she wraps an arm around her, pulling her in for a hug. Quickly Tobin feels Kate lean on her, her legs feeling weak. Her shoulders sag as Kate relaxes, loving the feel of being in Tobin’s strong embrace. 

Tobin is resting her chin on Kate’s shoulder and turns her head slightly to quietly murmur, “That was amazing.” She’s stroking Kate’s back slowly as if she can slow Kate’s rapid heartbeat which she feels against her own chest. Kate sighs and leans her head against Tobin’s. They stay quiet, just being together for a few minutes as Kate collects herself. 

Kate pulls back a fraction to look at Tobin. “You liked it?” she asks quietly, her eyes still full of uncertainty. 

“I loved it!” Tobin’s smile could erase the darkness of the garden. “I feel so much closer to you from the songs you sang. You’re so right about how music can convey the emotions you can’t speak.” 

“It made me nervous to sing in front of you, I didn’t want you think too much about certain songs or feel pressured about the lyrics-“ Kate rambles. 

“Sssshhhh,” Tobin whispers as she moves her mouth next to Kate’s ear, “Shut up and kiss me.” 

Instantly Kate’s head swivels as she crashes her lips against Tobin’s. They passionately kiss, tongues battling for domination and both moan at the same time, further encouraging each other. Tobin pulls her close, running one hand up Kate’s side as the other holds her neck in place. Kate raises her hand to Tobin’s jaw as she drops her other to Tobin’s stomach, inching under her shirt to feel her abs. 

They pull apart breathless, grinning at each other. 

“That was a cheesy line, Tobin!” Kate laughs. 

“Well, you sang it!” Tobin exclaims, laughing.

“You actually said it!” Kate grins.

“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” Tobin laughs as she wiggles her eyebrows. They kiss again, softer, slower this time. 

“We should go back,” Kate suggests, “You ready to call it a night?” Tobin nods as she takes her hand and they both walk back to the barn. 

Liz, Jen and Kayla are hovering near the big doors with Sinc and Emily, trying not to look suspicious. Seeing the two approach, they clink their bottles together and laugh at themselves for being busted. 

“You were terrific Liz!” Tobin says as she hugs her. 

“Thanks Tobin!” she replies. “I hope you had a good time.”  
“The best!” Tobin smiles. “This was a great night!”

“Oh no,” Sinc says looking over to the stage, “looks like shit just got real.” 

They all turn to look and see Pinoe and Kling on the stage talking to Fred and some others as one of the guys hands Pinoe a guitar. 

“Go!” Jen says, softly pushing Tobin and Kate towards the house. “Get out while you still can!” 

Tobin looks unsure and Sinc grabs her arm. “You look in pain, Tobs,” she says quietly, “just go, I’ll film it and send it to you.” 

Tobin opens her mouth to reply but Emily beats her to it. “Dude, these guys are awesome, we’ll be fine,” she says, sensing Tobin’s feeling mixed emotions about leaving her friends. “Go, we’ll talk to you later.” 

Tobin hugs Sinc and Emily telling them to kick some ass next week. Kate hugging Jen, Kayla and Liz at the same time, they laugh as they bump each other as they switch positions to say goodbye to each group of girls. 

Kate takes her hand and leads Tobin back to the house. Samson suddenly appears by her side and Tobin reaches to pet him as they walk along. “Guess he’s ready for bed, too?”

Kate nods as they reach the deck and enter the house. Samson goes to his water dish noisily lapping some up. He then goes to the family room couch and lays down on it, sighing as he stretches out. 

“He’s got the right idea.” Kate smiles as she leads Tobin through the house to her bedroom. 

“How are you feeling?” Tobin asks her quietly as she rifles through her bag finding some sleepwear. 

“Tired, my neck’s a little sore, I’ll probably take a pain pill.” She replies from the dresser where she’s doing the same. She turns to Tobin, “you didn’t have a ton to drink, did you?” she asks seriously. Tobin shrugs, “Like, three shots and three beers the whole evening, oh and Kayla and Jake kept giving waters.” 

“You’re not drunk are you?” 

“Nah,” Tobin replies, wondering where this is going. She looks at Kate questioning her. 

“Sorry,” Kate blushes, “I didn’t mean to interrogate you. I just want to know if you’re okay to take a muscle relaxer. You look a little pale and in pain and you’re walking funny.” 

Tobin’s back is hurting her. She just kept brushing it aside, having too much fun and not wanting to bow out from the night early. She really didn’t think anyone would notice.  
“I-“ she starts, then stops. “yeah, I was buzzed early but I’m good now. That’s probably a really good idea.” Without thinking, she takes her shirt off and her bra to put on her sleep shirt, which is really just an old, comfy t-shirt. As she gathers the other shirt in her hands, she looks up. Kate is watching her, there’s a hunger in her eyes. Kate strides across the room and stands in front of Tobin. 

She looks her up and down and Tobin just stands there, wondering what she’ll do next. Kate takes a step forward and smiles. “You’re so beautiful, Tobin,” she says and gives her a light peck of a kiss. She turns and heads off to the bathroom. 

Tobin shakes her head and puts her shirt on, a smile creeping across her face. She slides her jeans down and stiffly gets her legs free and puts on her shorts. She’s feeling the back pain now. She moves to the bathroom and bumps elbows with Kate as she’s brushing her teeth. Kate gives her a toothpaste filled smile and continues brushing. 

Tobin has just finished taking her contacts out when Kate slides her pill bottle over to her. She squints at it to double check the label. “It says you can take two,” Kate murmurs. 

“You think I should?” Tobin questions. 

Kate nods. “We can do whatever we want tomorrow. A lazy day is fine.” 

Tobin downs the pills as Kate leaves the bathroom to check the house one last time. 

Tobin is sitting up in bed, writing in her journal even though she is tired. She has her glasses on and is biting her pen as she thinks about how to word something when Kate walks in the bedroom and shuts the door. 

Tobin looks up and sees that look in Kate’s eyes as she slowly walks across the room and around the bed to Tobin’s side. She gently removes the journal from Tobin’s hands the pen falls from Tobin’s mouth. Kate takes the pen and places it with the journal on the nightstand. 

“You look really hot wearing those glasses,” Kate says, her voice low and seductive. 

A slow smile spreads across Tobin’s face, “yeah?” she questions. Her voice rough from speaking over the noise of the night. 

“Yeah.” Kate says as she kneels on the bed and straddles Tobin. She leans back on Tobin’s thighs as she sits. “I think it’s time for paybacks because you’ve been driving me crazy all day.” She leans forward and slowly kisses Tobin. 

They make out a little but when Tobin goes to grab Kate’s hips, Kate backs away. She takes Tobin’s hands and puts them under the covers. “No touching.” She smiles. “I didn’t get to so neither do you.” She pulls the covers tight across Tobin’s chest and scoots her knees up effectively trapping her under the comforter. Her hips are riding high over Tobin’s lower abs. 

She reaches over and shuts the light off revealing moonlight coming in from the three skylights in the room. As Tobin’s eyes adjust, she can see Kate is smirking as she lets her fingers flow along her chest. Tobin’s mouth drops open as she watches Kate slowly massages her own breasts and slowly roll her hips seductively. 

“Tobin,” Kate says softly, “I can’t lie to you.” 

Tobin looks up quickly, not understanding what Kate could be talking about. 

“I really was speaking to you tonight through most of those songs.” Kate admits as she slowly slides her left hand down under the elastic of her underwear. Tobin can see her fingers moving under the fabric. “I know it’s so soon,” she says as she begins to slowly thrust her hips, “but I think I’m falling for you.” 

She pulls her head back, exposing her throat. Tobin considers tearing herself out of the comforter to take her in her arms and run her tongue along that throat, that beautiful, long throat. Just as she starts to wiggle a little, Kate speaks. 

“I’m thinking about you licking and biting my nipples right now,” she says as she moans softly as she works on her breast with her right hand. Tobin sees her hand is moving in a circular motion under the fabric as her hips are moving more. 

“Mmmmmm,” Kate moans as she continues. “now I’m thinking of you running your tongue over my clit.” Her breathing is becoming increasing heavier as is Tobin’s. Tobin has never experienced something like this before. She can feel the wetness pooling in between her legs and she’s grateful they’re together under Kate’s weight. 

Kate’s right hand leaves her breast and she slowly reaches forward to grip the headboard next to Tobin’s head. She lifts her ass off Tobin’s legs and leans forward so their foreheads are nearly touching. 

“Now I’m thinking of your long fingers as they enter me and you start to fuck me senseless.” Kate says as her hand reaches lower as she puts two fingers in herself. She moans loudly and throws her head back. Tobin moans as well. This is the hottest thing she’s ever experienced besides actually having sex. 

“Oh, Tobin,” Kate moans sensually, drawing out Tobin’s name as if saying a prayer. She furiously fucking herself and her hips are moving in sync with her fingers to get as deep as possible. 

“Yes, so good,” she says as she continues. “You feel so good,” she moans out. Tobin thinks she’s going to lose all control if this doesn’t end soon. Her hips are undulating under Kate but there’s no friction, no satisfying friction. 

Suddenly Kate arches her back and throws her head back as she orgasms, her legs slightly quaking, her mouth open without noise. A fine line of perspiration covers her forehead as she slowly leans forward to rest her head on Tobin’s chest. She’s breathing heavy and so is Tobin. Tobin’s feeling a little dizzy from it all as her breathing slowly returns to normal. 

Kate looks up at Tobin with a wicked grin on her face. “So, at this point last night, you simply rolled over and that was it.” 

Tobin’s mortified thinking of and it must show on her face. “Ah, mavourneen, I’m not going to leave you totally hanging.” She leans in and kisses her, their tongues move slow at first and then Tobin can’t stop, trying to convince Kate to continue.

Kate pulls back again and smiles at her. “I’ll be right back, champ.” She gets up and heads to the bathroom. 

Tobin releases a breath and looks around. She struggles to get her hands free and realizes the muscle relaxers have kicked in much more than she thought. She moves her hands clumsily to remove her glasses and ends up smacking herself in the face. She shakes her head thinking, only you, dumbass would be too drugged up to do anything about this. 

She’s smiling as Kate returns. Kate looks at her a little startled. “What’s wrong?” she asks. 

“The drugs have kicked in,” Tobin says but hears her words are slurred. Her eyes pop open and Kate approaches her and sits next to her. 

“Are you alright?’ she asks, concern in her voice as she removes Tobin’s glasses and places them on the nightstand. 

Tobin lazily nods her head. “Muscle relaxers,” she mumbles. “Soooooo relaaaxxxxed.” Her head bobs a little as she tries to keep it upright. 

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” Kate exclaims as she shakes her head. “Alright you, it’s time for bed.” She gets up and stands next to the bed. 

Tobin’s head lolls back and hits the metal frame of the headboard, making a dull clanging noise. 

“Ouch,” she mumbles with a shit eating grin on her face. 

“Okay, here we go,” Kate leans in and snakes her arm around Tobin’s back grabbing Tobin’s side just under her arm. Her right hand goes under Tobin’s legs which are still pressed together. In one quick move, she slides Tobin down the bed about two feet and gently lays her back as she adjusts a pillow under her head. 

“When they kick in, they really kick in, huh?” she comments. Tobin loosely swings her head in her direction and smiles. 

“That was so fucking hot,” she slurs. “I’m gonna wife you up one day.” 

Kate laughs, “yeah, we’ll see about that sweetie,” she says as she pulls the comforter up to Tobin’s neck. She walks around the other side of the bed and slowly gets in. “Let’s have at least one official date and then we can go from there, eh, champ?” 

She lays next to Tobin on her side bring Tobin’s arm around her back and laying on her chest. “You good?” she asks. 

“Soooo, good,” Tobin replies, eyes shut, nearly passed out. 

“Goodnight, asthore,” Kate sighs as she shuts her eyes.


	22. A Step Back and A Move Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has another mini episode of panic along with a setback with her back. Her and Kate enjoy some domestic time together and learn about each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I suck at chapter summaries. This is a sort one, the next one will be longer and moves the story along.

“Tobin!” Kate says sharply, pushing and pulling her shoulder aggressively. “Come on, wake up!” she urges. 

Tobin moans and rubs her face into her pillow as she slowly stretches her legs and shifts her torso trying to get comfortable. 

“Later Ma,” she grumbles. 

“Tobin! Get your ass up!” Kate says loudly, flinging the comforter off her. 

“Ugh!” Tobin exclaims as she curls into the fetal position and hugs her pillow. “What?” 

“It’s two o’clock in the afternoon, do you think you might want to eat lunch or just wait for dinner now?” Kate says sarcastically. 

Tobin rolls over on her back, squinting as she looks at Kate who’s on her knees next to her on the bed. 

“Two?” she says as she rubs her eye with her fingers. The cobwebs were clearing from her head as she registers the bright sunlight pouring into Kate’s room. “Holy shit.” She says softly, shaking her head. 

“Yeah, I was starting to get really worried,” Kate explains as she rubs Tobin’s bicep. “I was beginning think you were in a coma.”

“I’m sorry,” Tobin says quietly. 

“It’s not your fault,” Kate says giving her a small smile, “but you’re never taking two muscle relaxers again.” 

“Agreed,” Tobin replies as she pushes herself into the sitting position. She blinks rapidly a few times trying to comprehend that she’s slept so late. 

“What have you been doing?” she asks Kate. 

“Well,” Kate starts, “I was going to clean up but everything was done last night. So, I just chilled with Samson and did some reading.” 

Last night, Tobin thinks. Last night, she smiles as the memory creeps back to her. 

“How’s your back feel?” Kata asks quietly. 

“Pretty good right now.” Tobin replies. She stretches her arms above her head and yawns. “How’s your neck?” 

Kate nods, “Alright, I took some Tylenol and it feels pretty good.” She slides off the bed and reaches for Tobin’s hands. “Come on,” she says pulling her up, “let me make you something to eat.” 

“Alright,” Tobin agrees, “let me meet you out there.” She says and she heads to the bathroom. 

“You look like you could use a coffee,” Kate says sliding the mug across the island to her as Tobin sits. 

“Yeah,” Tobin yawns again. “I feel super foggy, not, like hungover, just out of it.” 

“I felt like that for a couple of days after surgery,” Kate comments. “I didn’t like it.” She turns to the stove. “You want a breakfast sandwich?” she asks looking at Tobin over her shoulder. She’s not wearing her brace, Tobin notes. 

“Sure,” Tobin agrees, “can I do anything? Dishes or something?” 

“Nah,” Kate answers as she slides a dish into the microwave and puts two slices of bread in the toaster, sliding the lever down. “I had everything cooked already.” 

Moments later she delivers a plate to Tobin with a steaming hot sandwich on it. 

“Thanks,” Tobin says lifting it up and begins eating. She didn’t realize how hungry she was until she could smell the coffee. 

“So,” she says in between bites, “those songs last night,” she says, “were awesome.” 

“Thanks,” Kate says shyly, eyes cast downward. 

“Do you think you could give me a playlist of them?” Tobin asks with hopeful eyes. 

“Really?” Kate asks, clearly surprised. 

Tobin nods her head with eyebrows high above her glasses. 

“Yeah, sure.” Kate shrugs her shoulders. 

Tobin quickly finishes her sandwich and coffee. “Last night was pretty amazing,” she smiles. 

“Yeah,” Kate grins, “it was really good to play with the band again.” 

“That too,” Tobin smirks and sees Kate blush. 

Tobin leaves her chair and comes around to where Kate stands. She pulls her in for a hug. “You are so fucking hot, Kate.” She says as she kisses her. “I think you sabotaged me by letting me take two pills,” she smiles. “You knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you.” 

“Well,” Kate says as she returns the kiss, “that may have entered my head but certainly not you passing out until the afternoon.” She smiles. “Up for some fishing?” 

“Fishing?” Tobin asks, surprised. “Uh, yeah, I haven’t fished in a long time.”

“Good.” Kate nods. “Get dressed, it’s going to be about seventy-five but there’s a breeze so grab a hoodie.”

“Alright,” Tobin nods as she heads to Kate’s room, “Gimme a few minutes.” 

 

“Here, use the jib bait, the bass seem to like them,” Kate says handing her a small tackle box. 

Tobin inspects the selection and looks up at Kate, “silver?” 

Kate nods as she casts out into the water. They’re sitting on the small dock with their feet dangling over the side. The sun is shining and a slight breeze is coming at them. Samson is running along the water’s edge scaring the turtles that are trying to sun themselves on logs and rocks. 

They sit and talk in spurts and alternate in peaceful silence. It’s comfortable silence, neither of them compelled to force a conversation just for the sake of talking. Kate is thinking about how Tobin was able to calm her down last night after she got off the stage. She was worked up, on the verge of crying because she was so scared of what Tobin might think of her song selection. Tobin has this peacefulness about her, she thinks. Even though, right now, she’s going through some heavy shit, she finds a way to be there for me. She smiles as she casts again, throwing her line out far from the dock. 

Tobin is contemplative as well. Thinking of how Kate worried for her this morning, how she comforted her the other night with her nightmare. How she was understanding of Tobin’s illicit dream and the actions afterwards. She just gets me, she thinks. How she just let me be after that awful therapy session when I was a wreck. She just, comforted me and said and did all sorts of things to make me feel better and did it so naturally, like it just was who she is. 

She turns her head to look at Kate and sees her smiling to herself. She leans over and bumps her shoulder and smiles at her. “This was a great idea.” 

They fish until the sun lowers in the sky, dusk approaching. They bicker about who caught the largest fish, they laugh about Tobin’s fish jumping off the jig just as she was bringing it in. On a break they huddle together and laugh hysterically at the videos Sinc sent Tobin from last night. Pinoe performed a very blue song about a traveling lesbian that had the crowd going bonkers and giving her a standing ovation. Allie sent her videos of the group singing and dancing with Jen and Kayla. The band was playing a Cyndi Lauper song and they were busting out their best eighties dance moves. 

Kate pulled out her phone and played a video from Jake at the bar singing with ‘O, Canada’ with Sinc and a bunch of other people. Kayla sent one featuring Kling and herself dirty dancing to a Salt N Peppa song. 

The they went through their text messages. 

There was a string of messages about how Allie was going to get Jen to come a game and spread a rumor that Lauren Holiday was there and thinking of coming out of retirement to play for the Thorns. The thread escalated to a bet that they could get Jen on TV at the game and have the announcers say something. 

A text from Lauren that was just a series of question marks. Another from her asking Tobin to call her soon. 

Jen sent multiple messages about how she is considering taking up soccer. Photos of her feet asking Kate to ask Tobin if her feet were good enough for soccer and look hot in cleats. 

Sinc thanking Tobin for an awesome evening and asking her to please thank Kate. Then a group text about how all of the Thorns love Kate and Tobin should lock it down. Kate getting a similar group text about Tobin and how hard the soccer girls can party. 

Jake sending a text saying he thinks soccer girls party harder than the softball girls. 

Kate and Tobin laughed until their sides hurt and then some more. 

They ate a leisurely dinner on the couch, watching baseball. They talked about the week ahead of them and agreed for Kate to come with Tobin for a few days and then Tobin would stay with Kate later in the week. They fall asleep in each other’s arms, both feeling that they had the perfect weekend.

 

It’s Monday and Tobin is stretched on the couch, her shoes off, hands behind her head as she talks. She’s rambling about how she’s nervous about going back to Providence Park. Not because of the actual park but because of her freak out. Jen’s discreetly taking notes as she speaks. Tobin shares her thoughts about her relationship with Kate. Just what her family and friends are saying to her to get Jen’s opinion about how fast it seems they are moving. 

She talks about her nightmares. She talks about therapy. She talks about how sick she was last week after therapy. She talks about what Allison did to her. How she’ll remember something new. She talks about how Kate suggested she start journaling again. How wonderful Kate was during her horrible night. 

Jen gives her some ideas on how to work through a few of her topics. She suggests Tobin visit Providence Park, just pass by it in a car, then maybe get out and walk around outside it. 

When Tobin gets home, Kate is sitting on the couch with her laptop. She looks up as Tobin comes in and puckers her lips for a kiss. Tobin gives her quick kiss and sits down next to her. 

“Whatcha doing?” she asks as she’s petting Samson.

“Helping my brother coordinate some projects for the upcoming Stand Together week.” Kate replies. She’s got a notebook next to her with a list with lines running through it. 

“Stand Together?” Tobin asks. “You guys are involved with that?” 

Kate nods. “Yeah, it’s Jake’s thing mostly bit I like to help out when I can.” 

Tobin is looking at her curiously. “How?” she asks tilting her head. 

“Well,” Kate takes a deep breath, “Jake usually is in charge of contacting the local charities and coordinating with the businesses that sign up to donate their time. Then he coordinates with the pro teams to let them know what’s going on and if they’d like to help.” 

“You mean Thorns and Timbers, don’t you?” she asks. 

Kate nods shyly. “Yeah,” 

“I knew I recognized Jake from somewhere but I couldn’t place it.” Tobin shakes her head, “I’m so embarrassed, I should have known. How involved are you guys really?” 

“Jake sorta started it a few years back with some of his friends and our foundation supports it.” Kate explains. 

“You have a foundation?” Tobin asks, eyes wide. 

Kate is blushing furiously as she nods. “We have a couple that focus on different areas that need help.” 

“Wow,” Tobin says softly as she looks at Kate, “that’s really something.” 

“Yeah, it’s amazing how much it’s grown and how much people really get into it.” Kate responds. 

“So,” Tobin asks as she slides an arm around Kate’s shoulder, “do I need to Google you to learn more about you?” she grins. 

Kate snaps her eyes on Tobin, “That sounds like a line you would get,” she laughs. “Let’s Google each other after dinner, yeah?” 

Tobin nods. “Yeah, I’m getting hungry. What do you have a taste for? Chicken and pasta?” she asks as she gets up and heads to the kitchen. 

“Sounds good, what I can do to help?” Kate asks as she shits down her computer and slides off her lap. She follows Tobin to the kitchen. 

“Pick out a vegetable?” Tobin suggests. Kate nods and heads to the fridge. 

They make dinner together and once they sit down they begin to catch up on their day. Tobin asks her how her doctor’s appointment went. 

“I can slowly begin to start working out again at the end of the week. I can start driving too!” she smiles. 

“How about your eyes?” Tobin asks as she takes a bite. 

She sees Kate’s eyes cloud over for the briefest moment before she responds. “Eye doctor on Thursday. They say it takes some time, I think it’s slowly getting better.” 

Tobin nods. She’s lying to me, she thinks. Should I call her on it or no, she wonders. I’ll just leave it, she’ll tell me when she’s ready. I won’t push her. 

“I can start driving too,” Tobin smiles. “I was thinking of swinging by Providence Park tonight.” 

Kate’s eyes go wide. 

“You want to come with?” Tobin asks, “I just want to walk around outside. See how I feel.” 

“Yeah, sure!” Kate grins. “That’s a big step,” she looks at Tobin closely. “You gonna be okay?” 

“I honestly don’t know,” Tobin admits, “I do know that I’ll feel better if you’re with me.” 

Kate reaches her hand across the table and squeezes Tobin’s. “Let’s do it then.” She smiles. 

 

Tobin is pacing up and down the sidewalk. The area is deserted with the team being gone and the Timbers practice over hours ago. She’s taking deep breaths as she walks, Kate leaning up against the building watching her. Samson is on his leash and sitting patiently next to her. Tobin’s head bobs a little as if she’s agreeing with something she’s saying to herself. She stops and looks at Kate. 

Kate just gives her a small smile. Tobin walks to her and leans next to her. Kate gently takes her hand and squeezes it softly. 

“I’m not letting her get to me,” Tobin says quietly. When Kate looks at her, she can see the determination on Tobin’s face. 

“You’ll get this, Tobin.” Kate says confidently. “She’s not gonna stop you.” Samson licks Tobin’s hand and she pets his head. 

They walk along the sidewalk a bit when they see a man exit the building. He turns towards them and a look of recognition passes his face. 

“Hey, Tobin!” he greets. It’s Gavin, the General Manager of the team. 

“Hi Gavin,” Tobin says as she shakes his hand. “This is Kate,” she introduces. 

A quick look of recognition flashes across his face as he shakes her hand. “Good to see you again, Kate.” 

He bends down, “Hi Samson!” he greets as he pets him.

“How are you?” he questions looking up at Tobin.

Tobin nods, “Pretty good,” she says, “just” she gestures to the building, “trying to build my nerve up.” 

A look of understanding appears on Gavin’s face as he gestures to the building. “You take all the time you need Tobin,” he says warmly. “All the time,” he looks directly at her. “Anything we can do to help you, you call me, okay?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Tobin says. 

“No, I mean it.” He says a little forcefully. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re disconnected from us, okay? You’re family. We take care of our own.” 

“Thanks Gavin,” Tobin says as he reaches in to hug her. 

“I mean it, like, if you need to go clear your head and go surfing in Hawaii or something, I’ll make it happen. No worries.” 

Tobin smiles, “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

He turns to Kate. “Are you coming to tonight’s meeting?” 

Oh, Stand Together, Tobin thinks. That’s how he knows her. 

“Nah, I let Jake take care of that stuff,” she says shyly. 

“Well, I know you’re the reason he has ‘that stuff’ put together, so let me just say thanks.” He smiles. 

“You’re welcome,” she says warmly. 

“I gotta run, but I hope to see you guys soon,” he says and points to Tobin. “Anything, okay?” 

Tobin nods as he turns and walks to the staff parking lot. 

They’re silent for a few minutes as they slowly make their way back to Tobin’s illegally parked car. She just put the hazards on while they walked around. 

“Gavin’s a good man,” Kate says quietly. 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, “he is.” 

“You good?” Kate’s looking at her. 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods. “I think I am. That wasn’t too bad.” 

They get in the car and head back to Tobin’s place. They sprawl out on the couch and watch some mindless TV for a bit before deciding to walk Samson before going to bed. As they settle in to sleep, Tobin sighs and rolls over to Kate. 

“What’s wrong?” Kate asks. 

“I completely forgot to Google you tonight.” She says with a sly smirk. 

“How about we verbally Google each other tomorrow over breakfast, alright mavourneen?” 

Tobin gives her a slow kiss, “Sounds perfect.” 

Tobin reaches for Kate and settles her head on her chest wrapping her arms around her. She gives her a tight hug, holding it for a few moments before releasing her. She feels Kate mold into her seemingly seeking her touch. Tobin relaxes and keeps arms in place and gently pulling Kate onto her own chest. Kate sighs as she nestles herself on Tobin and they fall asleep. 

They awake to rain, overcast skies provide a dimness that forces Tobin to turn on a few lights in the living room. They play twenty questions as they eat breakfast, laughing over the ridiculous questions they ask each other. The last seven questions grow serious asking about previous relationships and why they didn’t work out. The broach each other’s attacks carefully wording questions to be gentle. Tobin more concerned with how Kate handled her therapy sessions, seeking to learn if she should be asking different questions to Jen. 

Kate concerned about how Tobin thinks she’ll handle her visit to Providence Park facilities and how Allison’s past there would affect her. 

They avoid discussing their actual attacks, wordlessly agreeing to table it for now. Kate insists on doing the dishes so Tobin can pull out the bands and other equipment and have it ready. Tobin cranks some music to pump herself up before Robin arrives. Kate busies herself on her laptop while sitting on the couch. 

Robin explains they’ll be doing more stretching and some other therapies for her back. Tobin did end up getting a different prescription for a muscle relaxer so Robin tells her to start taking them regularly and no driving until she knows how she’ll feel while on them. 

They spend the morning doing slow stretches and Tobin gets on the table for a back massage. Robin heats a sandbag style pad in the microwave to provide a warm compress for Tobin’s back as well and then alternates with icing. They repeat this a few times and then break for lunch. 

Over a leafy salad with chicken they catch up on how the team is doing on their trip. Tobin’s been texting Allie and Kling checks in. They laugh over the weekend adventures and Tobin and Sinc nail down that they will do dinner at her house on Monday. 

When they start up again, Robin looks at Tobin nervously. “So, Tobin, the next part of your back therapy is important. I wouldn’t be asking you to do this if it wasn’t going to help you.” She’s reaching into her bag and pulls out the box of a TENS unit. 

Tobin visibly stiffens upon seeing this and nervously crosses her arms on front of her. Her foot start twitching and she has to lean on the training table because it’s so violent. 

“Um, R-R-R-Robin,” Tobin stutters, “I d-d-d-don-don’t feel r-r-r-r-real comfortable about this.” 

Kate’s head instantly pops up from where she’s sitting on the couch and she looks intently at Tobin. She can see her body language showing her to be completely nervous. She foot is twitching to the point that Tobin has her weight on the table and she is beginning to sweat. She doesn’t remember the last time Tobin’s foot was twitching. 

“I know, honey,” Robin says softly. “I know, but you need this.” 

Tobin and Robin are in a standoff, Tobin looking down at her foot and willing herself not to cry. She’s repeating her mantra in her head but it doesn’t seem to be working. She’s now gripping the edge of the table so hard, her knuckles are white. 

Kate quietly gets up from the couch and stands in front of her. She glances at Robin and gives her a small, tight-lipped smile. “Tobin?” she says quietly. Tobin slowly looks up at her. Her eyes are vacant, as if she is completely off somewhere else. She flinches a little when Kate lightly runs her hand along her left bicep. 

“Mavourneen, let’s lay on the table, okay?” she asks her gently and takes her hand. Tobin’s hand is clammy and Kate can feel her shaking slightly. Kate leans on the table next to her and bumps her shoulder. “Today is Tuesday. You’re home in your apartment. I’m here and so is Robin. We’ll make sure you’re okay. Allison can’t hurt you. Those memories of her can’t hurt you. So, let’s take a deep breath and lay on your stomach on the table, okay? I’m going to be right here and you’ll be alright.” 

Tobin takes a deep breath and nods. She glances at Robin. “It’s not you,” she mumbles. 

“I know, sweetie,” Robin says gently. “Listen, you will have the box right by your head. You’re going to control it, okay?” 

Tobin nods but she still looks like she’s going to cry. Her lip is trembling. She looks at Kate and Kate opens her arms and hugs her. She hiccups a couple of times, but then takes some deep breaths. She releases herself from Kate and then slides on the table. Kate grabs a chair from the kitchen and brings it next to the table. 

She sits so that Tobin is looking at her and she puts her hand on Tobin’s shoulder, fingers lightly scratching. Kate nods at Robin. 

“Okay, Tobin,” she places the box next to her. “once I attach the leads, you can turn it on.” 

She moves down the table out of Tobin’s sight. “I’m moving your shirt up a little so I can put the pad on. I’m going to put the pad on your back right now, you’ll feel the cool gel.” 

She explains as she places it on her. Tobin eyes squeeze shut and Kate and is rubbing her shoulder and murmuring in her ear. 

She’s breathing heavy again and she reaches a hand out to Kate. Kate grabs it and Tobin squeezes. She’s nodding her head and slowly opens her eyes. She looks at the box and moves her left hand to it. Her hand is shaking as it hovers over the control box. She’s biting her lower lip and her eyes are darting around trying to focus on anything except the box in front of her. She suddenly slides of the table and jumps away from it. 

“I can’t,” she mutters shaking her head. 

“It’s okay,” Robin says gently.

Kate stands next to her. “Tobin, what’s the trigger?” she asks quietly. “Is it this?” she shoves the TENS control box in her hands. Tobin studies it as if she has never seen it before. 

“I don’t think so.” She says quietly. 

“Is it the gel pad?” Kate asks as she rubs the pad on Tobin’s back.

Tobin shakes her head. Robin is standing quietly next to the table, unsure if she should call it a day or force Tobin to do this therapy. She looks to Kate. Kate gives her a slight nod. 

“Tobin, is it the table?” Robin asks. 

Tobin jerks her head at Robin, looking at her curiously. She moves her gaze to the upholstered table. She thinks about it and then slowly leans down and smells it. That faux leather vinyl scent permeates her nostrils. Just like when Allison had her strapped down. 

Tobin slowly nods. “I think it is. The smell.” She’s feeling a little more in control, as if admitting it was important or something. 

Robin smiles, “Tobin, that’s great!” she smiles. Tobin looks at her quizzically. 

“Identifying triggers is a very big deal,” she explains. Tobin glances at Kate and she is nodding at her. 

“It is?” she asks. “Yeah, I guess it is,” she mumbles to herself. She looks around. “You think we can do this on my couch?” she asks Robin. 

“Absolutely.” Robin nods as they move to the couch. 

Tobin is scratching her eyebrow as she looks at the couch. 

“Uh, Kate?” she asks. “Would, um,” she shifts her stance, clearly uncomfortable. 

“How about you rest your head on my lap?” Kate offers. 

An embarrassed smile crosses Tobin’s face, “that would be great.” 

Kate grabs a pillow and lays it next to her and Tobin stretches out along the couch, her chest on the pillow and head in Kate’s lap. She wraps her right arm around Kate and holds her hip and rests her left hand on Kate’s knee. It’s the same position they were in watching The Quiet Man last week. 

Robin attaches the leads and hands Kate the box. “Tobin, just dial it up until you feel the muscles engaging. Low and steady, just relaxing, okay?” she instructs. 

Tobin slowly moves the dial and then stops. She nods to Kate who places the box on the ottoman. 

“How long should she have this on?” Kate asks. 

“At least an hour and then off for an hour and back on again.” Robin says as she heads to the kitchen table. “I’ll write you out some guidelines. She should be doing this as much as possible right now.” 

“I’m right here, ya know.” Tobin’s head pops up as she smiles at Kate. 

“I know,” Kate grins at her, “but Robin told me to keep you in check and I take that seriously.”

Tobin squeezes her knee as she puts her head back down. Then her index finger softly circles around her skin. Kate grabs the remote and pulls up Netflix to find a movie. “In the mood for a mystery?” she asks Tobin. 

“Sure, whatever is fine,” Tobin agrees. 

“Okay guys,” Robin calls from the kitchen, “I’m leaving. You have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Thanks Robin,” Tobin calls out, “thanks for everything.” 

“You’re welcome, Tobin,” she smiles as she looks at Kate. “You did really well today.” 

“Bye, Robin,” Kate raises a hand. 

Robin sends her a wink as she lets herself out. 

 

“And Then There Were None?” Tobin questions. “When was this made?” 

“1945, it’s based off a book by Agatha Christie.” Kate responds, wiggling a little in her excitement. “I love this movie. You’re going to see someone from The Quiet Man in this as well.” 

“It’s black and white?” Tobin asks. 

“Yeah, now, shush.” Kate says. “It’s starting.” 

The dramatic musical score grabs their attention. 

“Who are all these people?” Tobin asks. 

“Shush!” Kate taps Tobin’s head, “they’ll explain.” 

Kate feels Tobin snuggle in and sigh when she pulls Tobin’s hair free from her hair tie and slowly massage her scalp. They watch as the plot unfolds. About forty minutes into the movie, Kate pauses it.

“Hey!” Tobin exclaims looking up at Kate. 

“You need to shut down the E-stim and we should probably eat something.” Kate explains. Tobin raises herself up off the couch as Kate turns the unit off. “We’ll do another later, okay?” she offers. 

Tobin nods as she enters the kitchen and starts rummaging through it. “I don’t know what I want,” she’s talking to herself. She’s moving items around and looking at covered dishes. 

“Let me see,” Kate says as she elbows Tobin out of the way. Tobin’s grinning at her. “We both should be eating healthier now, you know,” she sasses Kate. 

“I know, I know,” Kate smiles back at her. She looks in the freezer and pulls out a few items then places them back in. She’s looking at the open fridge tapping her fingers on her chin. 

“I got it!” she exclaims and starts grabbing items and putting them on the island. “Can you get me that skillet I like so much?” she asks Tobin. Tobin does and sets it on one of the burners. 

“Alright, go.” Kate commands and flicks her fingers at Tobin to leave her alone. Tobin grabs her phone off the island and sits in one of the chairs texting someone. Kate moves around the kitchen, opening cabinets to find some spices and setting them out. She’s chopping some fresh vegetables and soon Tobin can smell something amazing. “Do you like mushrooms?” Kate asks her. 

“Yeah.” Tobin answers looking up at her. “Can I do anything?” 

“Waters, plates and silverware?” she answers. Tobin retrieves the items and starts on the drinks. 

They settle back on the couch with plates of a stir fry veggie dish and start the movie again. 

A few minutes in, Tobin nudges Kate’s shoulder. “This is really good, thanks.” 

Kate gives her a nod and nudges her back. “No problem.” 

When they finish Tobin takes the plates out to the kitchen and returns to the couch. Kate pauses the movie again and attaches the leads to her gel pad and Tobin lays down back in place. She turns on the unit and the movie and Kate rubs her back as Tobin trails her hand down Kate’s shin and calf. 

The movie finishes and Tobin looks up at Kate. “That was” she starts, “how did” she pauses, “I didn’t think-“ 

Kate laughs at her. “You liked it?” she’s amused at Tobin’s reaction. 

“Yeah,” Tobin laughs. “It was really good.” 

“One of my Mom’s favorites. With so many cops in the family, she really liked mysteries.” 

“I’ll have to ask my Mom if she’s ever watched it.” Tobin comments. She grabs her phone and starts texting. 

“Don’t give away the ending,” Kate admonishes. “Just in case she hasn’t.” 

“I won’t,” Tobin nods. 

Her phone goes off and Tobin laughs at the response. She passes her phone over to Kate. 

‘That Kate is educating you in the classics. Keep her around.” 

Kate blushes and hands the phone back to Tobin. 

Tobin looks down, smiling at her phone. “You know,” she begins, “I can’t thank you enough for today. Again, you helped me and kept me calm, well calmer, and you even helped me figure out what it was that was upsetting me.”

“Mavourneen,” Kate leans into her, “you did it yourself, I just gave you a little push. Soon, you’ll learn how to figure it out faster and quicker.” 

Tobin turns to face her and she slowly raises her left hand to caress Kate’s cheek. “Thank you.” She leans in and kisses her softly. Kate returns the kiss and holds on to Tobin’s bicep. “We didn’t get a nap today. Let’s go to bed, yeah?” she asks quietly.


	23. I've Never Felt Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin has an unexpected meeting. Kate is back on the job. Together they watch the DVD of Allie's FaceTime call with Allison. Smut ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fairly large chapter. Thanks to you that are sticking around. Comments are always welcome! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

“I don’t know, Lex,” Tobin is exasperated. “I know I put it on my desk and then I found it in the kitchen. It must have just walked itself over there.” She referring to an invitation she’d received from a sponsor to attend a function of some sort. 

“Well, contrary to popular opinion,” Alex drawls, “I know you’re organized and responsible. Maybe someone else moved it? Like, your roommate?” 

“Alex!” Tobin exclaims. “Come on, man!” 

“I’m teasing.” Alex assures her. “Just ask Kate, see if she grabbed it by accident?” 

“But there’s other things, like, stupid things, like my laundry detergent was out of place.” Tobin persists. 

“Did Kate do laundry? Maybe you’re just not used to your stuff being moved around with her being there.” Alex reasons. 

“Maybe,” Tobin admits. “But that doesn’t explain why my shoes were mismatched in my closet. Like, weird little stuff like this has been happening for the last week. The shoe thing just tops them all.” 

“Hmm,” Alex contemplates, “do you think you’re sleepwalking again?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t think so, Kate would tell me, I think.” 

“Oh, would she now?” Alex is grinning at her through the phone. 

Tobin blushes as she runs her hand through her hair. “it’s not like that, we’re sleeping together but not like, sleeping together, you know?” 

Alex nods. “You know, talk to Kate. She’s a cop. She sounds analytical and reasonable, maybe she can shed some light on it. Have some insight.” 

“Yeah, I will when she gets back.” Tobin agrees. Kate was out walking Samson. “So how are you feeling? Close to playing?” 

Alex describes her rehab and is excited to be back training with the team. She’s a few weeks away from playing but is hopeful she can increase her rehab and get healthy quick.  
Kate’s opening the door as they sign off from their call. Tobin stands to greet her and pet Samson as he stops at Tobin’s side for a belly rub. 

“Want a water?” Tobin asks as she moves to the fridge. 

“Sure,” Kate replies as she sits on the couch. 

Tobin brings the bottles back to the couch and sits next to Kate. She’s bouncing her knee a little as she sips from her bottle. 

“What’s up, buttercup?” Kate asks her as she eyes Tobin’s nervous posture. 

Tobin’s looking around the room as she sighs, “Have I been sleepwalking?” 

Kate draws her head back, surprised. “Not that I know if,” she answers. 

“You see, um, some weird things are happening and I feel like I’m going a little crazy or if maybe, like, you’re moving stuff and I don’t know it?” Tobin rambles quickly. 

Kate studies Tobin, her knee is bouncing but her foot is still and not twitching, she’s nervous but not scared, she notes. “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?” she asks. “Maybe I can help.” 

Tobin explains her moved invitation and laundry detergent, the mismatched shoes. “I feel like things are out of place? It’s unnerving.” Tobin finishes. 

Kate’s quiet, looking at their intertwined hands. “Are you getting any weird emails or tweets or anything like that?” she asks. 

“No emails, I rarely look at social media tags. Some of the fans are intense.” Tobin explains. 

“Phone calls?” Kate asks. 

“No, what are you thinking?” Tobin asks. 

“I think you should change your door lock.” Kate answers firmly. 

“What?” Tobin looks at her curiously. “Seriously?” 

“Listen,” Kate says as she pats Tobin’s leg. “Your friends are great and I wouldn’t put it past them to pull pranks like this. As pranks, they would be awesome. But your friends are also very considerate and kind. So, I don’t think they would do this to you right now. You could check with them and ask, but I think maybe someone got in here and pulled this shit.  
Someone you may not know.” 

Tobin considers Kate’s suggestion. She nods. “Yeah, I don’t think they would do this, plus they haven’t been around in a while.” She grabs her phone and looks up local locksmiths. 

She stands up and calls to schedule one to come out. 

Kate is pensive as she sits in the couch. She’s chewing the inside of her cheek as she plays with the cap on her water bottle. 

“What?” Tobin asks as she sits back down. 

“Have you ever had stalker issues before?” Kate asks her quietly. 

Tobin grimaces as she nods her head. “There’s been a few times things were a little tense but mostly it’s been teenage girls. Nothing that went so far as Police intervention. With the National team, things got crazy after the World Cup. Here in Portland, it’s been cool. People let me be most of the time.” 

“Well, I think you should consider letting Thorns security know about this and let Brittani and Kling know as well, seeing as they live in the same building. I haven’t noticed you having any weird episodes, like you’re not aware of what you’re doing, you’re not sleepwalking, so I would treat this seriously.” 

Tobin nods. She reaches for her phone again and texts the John, head of Thorns security asking him to call her when he has a chance. 

“We’ll just be a little more vigilant when we go out, look for anyone following us or cars. I don’t think you need to worry, but it’s much better to be safe than sorry.” Kate assures her. 

Tobin nods again, she’s got her mouth quirked to the side almost pouting but Kate can see that she’s thinking. She sighs and looks at Kate giving her a wry sigh, “It’s weird, right? Like, you don’t think I’m overreacting?” 

“Yes, it’s weird and no, I don’t think you’re overreacting.” Kate confirms. “This does sound a little like stalker behavior, doing little shit like this to unnerve you.” 

“You don’t think it’s connected to…” Tobin trails off.

“No, I don’t.” Kate says quickly as she rubs Tobin’s back. “I bet it’ll stop once you change the lock.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Tobin breathes deep as if that will help her gain confidence. She turns to Kate, “I’m going to go up to Providence Park, want to come?” 

“Sure,” Kate smiles as she gets up. “Come on, Samson!” she calls as they head for the door. 

 

They move to Kate’s place on Thursday night with Tobin meeting Robin at her place for therapy on Friday. Robin brought over a fitted sheet for the table that she doused with a fresh cut grass scent and Tobin easily got on the table for treatment. She was struck by Robin’s kindness and understanding. 

John had been alerted and had Tobin scan over the receipt for her locksmith bill so the Thorns could reimburse her. Tobin argued but eventually gave in. Just as she was preparing to leave her place to head back to Kate’s, there was a knock at her door. Looking through the peephole, she was surprised to see to Gavin and Merritt Paulson the owner of the Timbers and Thorns. 

“Sorry to drop by unannounced,” Merritt apologized as Tobin let them in, “we were out doing some errands and thought we’d stop in.” 

“No, it’s okay,” Tobin says as she leads them to her island. “Would you guys like something to drink?” 

“No, thanks,” Gavin says as he reaches into to his leather shoulder bag, “we wanted to give you a few things.” 

Tobin’s stomach drops as if she’s on a rollercoaster. Like, my release, she wonders. 

Merritt must see Tobin’s expression because he quickly speaks up. “Tobin, you’re a Thorn until you are ready to hang up your cleats, okay?” he says gently, “We’ve been doing some things behind the scenes and wanted to give you some information so you wouldn’t be taken by surprise.” 

“Robin told me you were thinking of trying to come in for therapy sometime next week.” Gavin says as he spreads out a couple of folders on the island. “Sinc and Allie want to meet with you first, before you do come in, okay?” 

“Okay,” Tobin agrees. 

“They just want to get you caught up with some team stuff before you’re back in the fold.” Merritt states. 

Tobin nods, seems reasonable, she thinks. They probably want to discuss the team’s mood and any gossip Tobin should know about. 

“Have a seat,” Gavin gestures to Tobin. She sits down. 

“Tobin, what happened to you with Allison, was a horrible event. We are all still trying to process it just as you are. As a team, we feel some responsibility for it, although, from every indication from all the interviews conducted by the Police, not one person had any suspicion that Allison was capable of doing what she did.” He clears his throat. 

“We are working with your lawyer to cover your medical and therapy costs and we will be also offering you a sizable amount for pain and suffering. Your lawyer would tell you we should not be speaking of this to you, in case things ever went to court, but we confident we can work with him and get a satisfying agreement. He’s a cool guy and everything is going fine, we just want you know up front, we are voluntarily offering this.” 

“Oh,” Tobin says, surprised. This was news to her. 

“With that said,” Merritt takes the floor, “after everything happened I may have been a little paranoid and expressed to Gavin that we do fresh background checks on the entire operation.” 

Tobin’s eyes are wide at hearing this. 

“Actually, after he calmed down, we opened up a conversation with staff and asked for voluntary permission as a way to make you feel more comfortable coming back.” Gavin says. He slides a folder over towards Tobin. “This is all Thorns staff, your teammates, coaching and training staff.”

He slides another one over, “This is the entire Timbers staff and team as well.” 

He slides a third one over, “This is all game day volunteers and security personnel.” 

He slides the last one over, “This is all Providence Park concession staff, cleaning and grounds crews, the DA staff and all office staff.” 

Tears are welling in Tobin’s eyes as she realizes the enormity of what they did. 

“We take care of our family, Tobin,” Merritt says quietly. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a small case. “This is the only copy of the video of your attack from the FaceTime call Allie Long had with you. It’s never left my possession since John gave it to me.” He places on the island.

“Tobin,” he clears his throat, “Gavin and I watched it.” She looks up sharply at them. She sees they both have tears in their eyes. “I wouldn’t blame you one bit if you come and ask for a trade. Know that if you’re struggling here, we will do our best to help you in any way.” He says. “Even if that means sending you to another team.” 

“We just want what’s best for you,” Gavin says. 

Tobin has her hand over her mouth as she looks at the island with the files and the DVD. She looks back up at them. “I, I, I don’t know what to say,” she starts, her voice rough, “thank you so much, this is, it’s just, it’s overwhelming.” She can feel the tears falling and she makes no effort to stop them. 

“Come here, kid,” Merritt says as he pulls her in for a hug. She starts sobbing in his arms, and feels a little embarrassed until she pulls away and sees that he was crying too. “I’m so sorry,” he sniffles. 

Gavin grabs her and hugs her tightly, holding the back of her head with one hand. “You do this how you need to do this, okay?” he says, “Don’t rush or push yourself too hard.” 

Tobin nods as they break away. The three stand there wiping their eyes and laugh a little as Tobin grabs some Kleenex for them all. They all take a deep breath at the same time and grin at each other. 

“Okay, well that was pretty cathartic,” Merritt says. 

Tobin and Gavin nod their heads. “Totally,” Tobin says. 

“Okay, so, we’re going to go,” Gavin says, “we’ll see you when we see you, okay?” 

“Yeah, absolutely,” Tobin confirms. “Thanks for everything, this was so…” 

Merritt just nods, “See ya, kid.” 

 

After she closes the door she leans against the wall. She’s trying to process what just happened and can’t believe they really did what they did. She shakes her head and grabs her backpack and brings it to the island. She stuffs the DVD and the files in there thinking maybe she will look through them over the weekend. 

As she closes her car door at Kate’s house, she can hear the piano from off the front porch. Tobin stays outside by the screen door as she watches Kate play some song she doesn’t recognize. It’s classical, it sounds a little aggressive, and she can see Kate’s furrowed brow from her profile. She’s upset about something, Tobin realizes. She studies Kate’s posture and sees her shoulders are scrunched up, her back stiff and the frown on her face. Kate plays the last chord and looks down at the keys taking a few deep breaths. 

Tobin knocks lightly on the screen door and sees Kate swivel around in surprise. “Hey,” Tobin says, smiling at her, “how’s it going?” 

“You can let yourself in, you know,” Kate smiles at her as she opens the screen door. “How long were you out here?” 

“Just a little bit,” Tobin says as she slides her backpack to the floor and takes Kate in her arms. “I love hearing you play. I missed you.” She murmurs as she kisses her. 

She can feel Kate relax as she returns the kiss, her body touching Tobin’s as much as possible. Their tongues tease each other as they each shift their heads as they continue to kiss. Tobin starts to slowly rub Kate’s back as Kate slides her hands along Tobin’s sides. Tobin moans as Kate shifts to slowly kiss Tobin’s neck and make her way up to her ear. 

Tobin pulls her in tighter and reaches down to grab Kate’s ass and pull her in. 

They pull their heads back and smile at each other. “Well, that’s a nice good afternoon greeting!” Tobin laughs. 

Kate leans her head on Tobin’s neck. “You got here at the right time,” she says softly. 

“Yeah,” Kate says, lifting her head up to look at Tobin, “it’s beer o’clock!” She smiles. She leads Tobin to the kitchen and grabs two beers and heads for the couch. She makes Tobin sit down and she sits on the floor in between her legs. Tobin takes a drink and puts her bottle on the end table. She reaches down and begins to lightly massage Kate’s shoulders. 

“So, what’s going on, babe?” she asks her quietly. “You looked a little upset when you were playing and that song seemed pretty intense.” She can feel Kate’s muscles are tight. 

Kate pulls her knees in and rests her head on them as Tobin continues the massage. Tobin remains quiet as she gently starts on Kate’s neck. She doesn’t want to be rough around her scar and isn’t really sure if she should be massaging it at all. 

After a few minutes Kate lifts her head up, “They put me on desk duty,” she says quietly. 

Tobin keeps massaging Kate’s neck and lower scalp, running her nails along the base of her neck. “Mmhhhmmm,” she replies. “Is it temporary?” 

Kate sighs, “Yeah,” her voice is sad. “For a while until I can get my fitness up and take my evaluation tests.” 

“So, you’re kinda on the DL, then?” Tobin asks. Kate turns her head and smiles at Tobin, an amused look in her eyes. “Yeah, I guess,” she says, “you can go a little deeper in my neck, mavourneen.” 

Tobin dutifully begins to apply more pressure on her knotted neck muscles. “Oh,” Kate moans, “that feels so good,” 

“You’re really knotted up here,” Tobin comments. 

“It’s where I carry my stress.” Kate responds as she takes another drink. 

“Let me work on that, babe,” Tobin whispers as she moves her hands to Kate’s shoulder and slowly kisses the back of her neck. Kate lets her head fall to her knees and sighs as Tobin slowly works her way to the side of Kate’s neck leaving light kisses. She pulls back and moves her hands to her neck and begins to work her muscles deeper, applying more pressure. She can feel Kate loosen up and stops for a moment, gently taking a hold of Kate’s head with her hands and rolling it gently through a series of range of motion moves. 

“Mmmmm,” Kate moans out as Tobin starts to get turned on from the noises Kate is making. She moves her hands down to her trapezius muscles and work those for a bit and finishes with her shoulders. Kate leans back in between Tobin’s legs and they sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Tobin grabs her beer and is drinking it when Kate speaks. “I thought they might permanently put me on disability.” She says quietly. 

Tobin’s surprised by this and doesn’t know what to say. “Come on up here,” she says and guides Kate to sit on her lap. “What do you mean?” 

“Well, my vision isn’t that great yet and then being shot in the head and having an aneurysm, I might be considered unfit for duty.” 

“Kate,” Tobin’s voice is broken pronouncing her name with two syllables. “Oh, no.” 

“Yeah,” Kate says sadly. “I think they’re just giving me more time to heal and see if my vision improves.” 

“Oh, babe,” Tobin says, her voice trembling, “I’m so sorry.” 

Kate lays her head on Tobin’s chest and plays with the hem of Tobin’s shirt sleeve. “Yeah,” she says. “I don’t know, it sucks.” 

They’re silent as Tobin holds her tightly in her arms trying to hold back tears. Kate’s been so strong, she thinks, and now this news. Her breath hitches a little and the sharp intake of air makes Kate turn to her. 

“Asthore,” she says, “it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” She lovingly lays her palm on Tobin’s jaw. “I’ll get better, I can already see some improvement.” Kate assumes correctly that Tobin feels some responsibility to her situation. She brushes a tear out from under Tobin’s eye. “I’ve got some time.” 

Tobin smiles sadly at her and drops her head on her shoulder. “If there’s anyone who can do it, it’s you, babe.” She says quietly. 

They sit for a few minutes, both lost in thought about their own uncertain futures. When Tobin’s stomach rumbles Kate laughs quietly and gets up, extending her hand for Tobin to take. 

“Come on,” she smiles, “you’ve got a lesson in hibachi cooking tonight.” 

“Really?” Tobin’s eyes are wide. “Cool!” 

They go out to the pavilion with Samson joining them as they make their way to the kitchen. Kate starts pulling out a bunch of different bowls and setting them on the counter next to the flat top grill. Kate produces an apron and offers it up to Tobin. “The oil can splatter sometimes,” Kate explains as she reaches up to place it around Tobin’s neck. She moves her body against Tobin’s as she grabs the strings in back and ties it around her waist. Tobin is smirking at her the whole time. 

“So, lesson one is always to have a safe place on the griddle,” Kate explains, “A place that has little to no flame so you can move food over there so it doesn’t over cook.” She turns the burners on and sets three zones to a medium flame and the one to the far left and low flame. 

“Lesson two: you start cooking the foods that take the longest and them move them to your safe zone while the other ones cook.” 

Tobin nodding as Kate speaks. The lesson continues as Kate shows Tobin how to cook and move everything around so it’s seasoned properly. Kate is shooting a video of Tobin frantically trying to keep everything from burning as she prances around behind the grill. With Tobin doing most of the cooking, they end up with a presentable dish of shrimp and steak cubes with onions, zucchini, mushrooms and sliced carrots. 

“That was so much fun!” Tobin exclaims as they sit on the couch to eat. Kate flicks on the TV to ESPN to watch the highlights of the day’s games. 

“So, how was your day?” Kate asks. She notices Tobin freeze for a moment before loosening up a little. What happened, she wonders. 

Tobin relates her day with Robin, how she brought a different scented sheet, this one smelling like fresh cut grass. How she easily got up on the table and how understanding Robin’s been with everything. 

“I should really do something for her, like a night out with her husband or a family thing.” Tobin contemplates as she’s finishing her meal. She sets her plate down and takes a drink of water. Tobin pauses for a minute and takes a deep breath. 

“Just as I was packing up to come here, Merritt Paulson and Gavin stopped by.” She says. Kate lowers her plate and sets it on her lap. 

“What did they want?” she asks quietly. She knows it’s not every day the owner of a pro team just swings by unannounced to talk with a player. 

“For a second I thought they were going to release me,” Tobin bites her lower lip, “then the most amazing thing happened.” 

“What?” Kate asks quickly. 

Tobin tells her about the lawyer thing, taking care of bills and the settlement, the background checks of the Thorns and Timbers and everyone who works on the park. 

“It was voluntary?” Kate’s eyebrows are high on her forehead.  
Tobin nods, she’s trying to keep it together. “Yeah,” she says, her voice breaking slightly. “Can you believe it?” 

Kate looks at her for a moment, seeing how Tobin is so vulnerable, so humble and not even realizing what an impact she has on so many people. She gives Tobin a soft smile, “Yeah, actually, I can believe it.” 

Tobin looks at her incredulously. “Really?” 

“Yes.” Kate answers simply and then tells her why. 

“I just do what I do,” Tobin mumbles.  
“And that’s what makes you so incredibly amazing.” Kate says in a voice full of want. Tobin hears it and registers that feeling as well. She had thought about and prayed on it and felt she was ready for the next step with Kate. She knew she might stumble or have some scary moments but she knew that Kate would understand and help her through it. She wanted her. Wanted her badly. 

They both stare at each other hungrily and they can feel the air change between them. Samson must sense something because he lopes in and puts his head between their knees, whining at them. 

“What do you want, you goof ball?” Kate laughs, breaking the moment. Tobin pets his massive head and smiles at Kate. She winces as Samson drags his tongue over her jaw and up her cheek. “Ew!” she laughs. “You’re full of slobber!” she says as she raises her arm to wipe the spit on her sleeve. 

When their laughing dies down, Kate looks at Tobin. “Take the settlement, Tobin. Don’t argue with them about it. It’s the smart thing to do. It won’t hurt the organization and you’ll be set for long after your playing days are over.” She says seriously. 

“Yeah.” Tobin nods. “I just don’t want it to be, like, public knowledge or anything.” 

“Your lawyer can draft it to be non-disclosed.” Kate offers. “They would probably want that. I doubt they even want it to get out anyway,” she says. 

“Why?” Tobin asks. 

“Because in many people’s eyes, it would look like an admission of guilt.” Kate replies. 

“Oh,” Tobin says looking down. “You’re right, it would.” She pulls her phone out from her pocket and quickly writes a text. “Taken care of.” 

“What did you just do?” Kate asks. 

“Texted my lawyer to keep everything on the down low. Non-disclosure. Secrecy. Sealed in wax, that type of thing.” Tobin smiles. 

“You’re a dork.” Kate laughs. 

“I’m your dork.” Tobin smiles. 

“Yeah, yeah, you are.” Kate agrees beaming out a smile. 

“Come on,” Tobin picks up her plate, “let’s clean up.” 

They clean up the kitchen and head back to the house. Even though it’s early, they both get ready for bed and end up there. Tobin is journaling and Kate is reviewing the background checks. She has a notebook next to her that she occasionally will write something in. They work in silence, Tobin stopping a few times to wipe her eyes. Kate reaches her hand out and grabs Tobin’s and gives it a squeeze. 

Tobin pauses as she’s biting her pen, obviously thinking about something. She starts writing quickly as a smile spreads across her face. She exhales loudly when she finishes and closes her journal. She sets it and the pen on her nightstand. She looks at Kate as she is scanning one of the files. She’s wearing her glasses and is absentmindedly twirling her pen as she reads. 

Tobin smiles as she looks on, feeling a warmth in her chest. I love her. She is just so amazing. I hope she can get back to her job. She loves it. I hope her eyes get better. 

She doesn’t realize she’s frowning until Kate bumps her shoulder. “You okay?” she asks. She’s looking at Tobin closely. 

“Yeah,” Tobin gives her a half smile. “I’m just concerned about you.” She says. “I just want you to get back to your job.” She finishes quietly. 

“Mavourneen,” she says, “it’s out of my hands so I just need to let it go. It’s up to God and whatever His plan is for me.” 

Tobin nods, “You’re right,” she says, “I just don’t want you to be unhappy,” 

“I’ll always find happiness in something,” Kate says as she leans closer to Tobin, “or someone.” She finishes as she kisses her. Tobin lifts her hand to Kate’s jaw as they kiss. Its’ soft and gentle and quick. 

Kate pulls back and starts moving the files spread out on her lap and moving them and her notebook to her nightstand. 

“When do you go back to work?” Tobin yawns. 

“This Wednesday, nine to five, Monday through Friday,” Kate sighs. 

“What?” Tobin asks as she lays her hand on Kate’s arm. 

“It’ll be like secretarial work or something stupid.” Kate frowns. 

Tobin’s quiet for a minute as she looks up at the ceiling fan. “Maybe it won’t be so bad,” she says quietly. “Maybe it’ll be like you’re doing things for the team that’s out there playing the game and you’re on the sidelines keeping everything together so they can play the best.” 

Now it’s Kate’s turn to be quiet as she thinks about what Tobin has just said. She looks at Tobin who is sleepily staring at the ceiling fan, her eyes half open, sleep about to take her. 

“Like, change my mindset to a serving one for the others in the department?” Kate pauses. “That’s really insightful, Tobin.” She rolls over and places a kiss on Tobin’s lips. “Thanks,” she says as she smiles into Tobin’s sleepy eyes. “I needed to hear that.” 

Tobin smiles tiredly and nods. 

“You ready to sleep?” she asks Tobin who is yawning. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says as she slides down under her covers. 

They turn off the lights and snuggle in, holding each other. 

“Tobin?” Kate asks. 

“Yes?” 

“Do you think you want to watch the DVD?” Kate asks her quietly. 

“I do,” Tobin replies just as quietly. “I only remember flashes of the end and I want to see what my teammates saw so when I see them Monday, I know what they saw.” 

“Would it be okay if I watched it too?” Kate asks. 

“Absolutely.” Tobin quickly replies. “I know you don’t really have any memories of it, maybe it will help you.” 

“Maybe we should watch it tomorrow?” Kate asks. “It would give us Sunday to process it.” She suggests. 

“I think that’s a very good idea.” Tobin agrees. 

Tobin snuggles into Kate’s side and they both fall asleep, tired from a long day. 

 

Tobin wakes to the smell of bacon. I am so hungry, she thinks, Kate is so sweet to make me breakfast. I need to cook lunch or dinner tonight. She shifts a little and realizes Kate has her arm around her and their legs are tangled together. Kate is still sleeping soundly, little breaths puffing on Tobin’s neck. 

“Kate,” she says quietly, “babe, wake up.” 

“Mmmmm,” Kate says as she tries to pull Tobin closer. 

“Kate,” she says a bit louder, a little panicked. “Someone’s in the house. Cooking bacon.” 

Kate’s eyes pop open and she blinks a few times. She yawns. “It’s either Liz or Jake. Go back to sleep.” She shuts her eyes. 

“Uh, babe,” Tobin says as she shifts in bed, “I’m gonna get up, okay? I’m starving and that bacon is calling my name.” 

Kate just sighs. “Leave me, mavourneen,” she says, “I’ll be up in a while, love.” 

Tobin leaves the bed and goes to the bathroom, showering quickly, brushing her teeth and putting on clothes for the day. She makes her way to the kitchen and is greeted by Liz who’s standing at the stove, making scrambled eggs. 

“Good morning,” Tobin she greets, smiling at Tobin. 

“Hey, how’s it going?” Tobin asks. 

Liz nods, “Good,” she says, “I made coffee if you’d like some.” 

“Cool,” Tobin says and opens the cabinet where the mugs are kept. 

“Know your way around, huh?” Liz grins. 

Tobin blushes a little, “I guess, a little,” she replies as she pours herself some coffee. “This is a nice surprise. Can I do anything to help?” 

“I’m just about finished.” Liz states, “plates and silverware?” 

“On it.” Tobin says as she gets the items. 

As they start eating, Liz stops eating and looks at Tobin. Tobin can feel her eyes on her and looks up from her plate. “What’s up?” 

“Kate told me about desk duty, yesterday.” Liz says quietly, “How’s she taking it?” 

“I think she’s more upset about it than she’s saying,” Tobin admits. “But she says she thinks her eyes are getting better and she just needs more time.” 

“I pray that’s true,” Liz replies quietly. “But, Tobin, I’m going to be straight with you, as a Doctor I don’t think it’s coming back. I will never tell her that, but statistically with her condition, it seems unlikely.” 

Tobin drops her fork and jumps, startled by the clatter of it against her plate. She looks down and then back at Liz. She audibly gulps. 

“I mean,” Liz starts, “Some people do get it back, but it’s a really low number.” 

Tobin takes a sip of her coffee. She’s no longer hungry. “Well, if anyone can do it, I believe Kate can.” She states with quiet determination, looking Liz directly in the eye. 

“I know, I know,” Liz comforts, “I just, I want,” she sighs, “Kate won’t always listen to me. I don’t want her to ever think I said ‘I told you so’, you know? I don’t want the both of you to be blindsided if it ends up that way.” 

Tobin studies Liz for a moment, seeing her fidget in her chair as she begins eating again. 

“That must suck Liz,” Tobin says, realizing how hard this must be for her, “to have that medical knowledge and see your best friend going through this.” 

When Liz looks up, Tobin sees the tears in her eyes. Liz just nods and she takes another forkful. Tobin thinks she’s struggling to keep it together and won’t talk about it again. Her attention is diverted to Samson, who’s trotting down the hallway happily wagging his tail. 

“Kate’s up,” Liz mutters as she gets up and scraps her dish in the garbage. Tobin does the same, knowing she won’t be able to eat anything. She lays her hand on Liz’s back and rubs it for a moment. Liz nods, straightens up, wipes her eyes and smiles at Tobin. Both realize a significant moment has occurred between them and Tobin smiles back. 

“We’ll get her through it,” Tobin says softly, “together.” Liz nods as she opens the dishwasher door and takes Tobin’s plate. 

“We will.” Liz says determinedly. 

Tobin moves back to the island, “You want some more coffee?” she asks, as Liz starts rinsing the utensils. 

“Yeah, thanks,” she smiles. Tobin grabs both mugs and is at the coffee maker. She gets another one for Kate. 

“How do you take it?” Tobin asks Liz. “Two creams and one sugar.” 

“Oh, just like Kate,” Tobin observes, as Kate enters the kitchen the kitchen. 

“Morning,” Kate greets as she gives Liz a hug. She slides next to Tobin. “What’s just like Kate?” she asks grinning. 

“You and Liz take your coffee the same way,” Tobin explains. “Good morning,” she says leaning over to kiss Kate. 

“Good morning,” Kate kisses her back and rubs her arm. “For me?” she looks at the third mug. Tobin nods. “Thanks,” she says as she moves towards the island. 

“Here,” Liz slides a plate to her.

“Oh, thanks!” Kate grins. She looks at Liz. “Your eyes are red,” she observes, “too much Tabasco in your eggs again?” 

“You’d think I’d learn,” Liz sighs as she smiles. “They’re so good like that though.” 

Tobin laughs, “I do the same sometimes with chicken wings.” 

The three girls chatter about everything and anything as Kate eats her breakfast. They laugh over some of the antics from Jam Night and Tobin shows Liz some of the videos that were sent. 

Kate looks at the clock, “Early game today, right?” 

“Yeah, it should be starting in a few minutes.” Tobin says. “Stay to watch?” she asks Liz. 

Liz shakes her head, “I’m working soon,” she says as soon hugs Tobin and then Kate. “Just wanted to see your ugly mugs before I headed to Insanity Land.” She grins. 

“See you later,” Tobin laughs. 

“Go Thorns!” Liz yells as she opens the door and leaves. 

Tobin lays on the couch and Kate slides in laying half on her. As they watch the game, Kate can feel Tobin’s body relax and she realizes she has fallen asleep. It’s not even halftime and the game is actually pretty boring. Both teams look listless with each having a few scoring chances. 

Kate is getting restless and slowly gets up and goes to the kitchen. She makes some sandwiches and gathers some drinks and snacks and heads to her room. She comes back and put other items in a canvas bag and goes outside to the barn. When she comes back with the ATV, she sees Tobin is still sleeping. 

“Tobin,” she says softly as she rubs her shoulder, “wake up.” 

Tobin mumbles some jibberish that Kate’s not even sure is English and rolls her head towards the couch cushion. She is so freaking cute, Kate thinks. 

“Samson,” she calls, “wake up Tobin!” she commands. With his tail wagging, Samson puts his front legs on the couch and begins to lick Tobin’s face. 

“Stop!” Tobin giggles as Samson continues the tongue bath. “I’m up! I’m up!” she says as she slides her feet over to sit up as she pets him. 

“You’re evil!” she says looking up at Kate. Kate is grinning. 

“Let’s go,” she grabs Tobin’s hand. “The game’s boring, no offense, so let’s go to the beach.” 

“None taken, it’s my team and I feel asleep!” Tobin laughs as she follows. 

They take the ATV to the beach with Samson jumping in back and he scurries out to chase butterflies. Kate pulls out her bag and tosses a towel to Tobin and puts one down for herself on the sand. They sit for a bit and Kate tells her about what the Ecology Club has been doing with the area and how they timbered out some older woods a couple of weeks ago. 

“How far out does the sand go?” Tobin asks. She’s wondering if she can put her feet in the water. 

“It goes out about twenty yards deep and fifty yards wide.” Kate says as she stands up. “Want to swim?” 

Tobin looks up at her, squinting with the sun in her eyes. “I don’t’ have my suit.” 

Kate smirks at her as she takes her t-shirt off, “It’s just us here.” She says seductively. Tobin’s distracted by Kate’s pert breasts. 

“Uh, yeah,” she says as she scrambles up, shedding her shirt and taking off her sports bra. They grin at each other as they both begin to take their shorts and underwear off. 

“Come on,” Kate offers her hand and Tobin willingly accepts and they head to the water. They both squeal when their toes hit the cool water but they trudge on. When they get to waist level, Tobin drops her hand from Kate and submerges herself and swims further out. 

Kate follows her and wraps her arms around Tobin’s neck and they float in the water. Tobin kisses her as she guides them closer to shore so she can stand up. Once standing, she slowly grabs Kate’s ass and deeply massages it as she pulls her closer so their bodies are flush together. They both feel each other’s hard nipples and Tobin lightly bounces on her toes as they slowly dance through the water. Kate is sucking on Tobin’s neck and moving up to her ear lightly tonguing it. Tobin’s left hand roams from Kate’s ass up to her back and around the side to firmly cup her breast. Kate moans as Tobin slowly squeezes it, with her tongue on Kate’s neck, licking and sucking. 

Tobin pulls back to bring both of her hands onto Kate’s breasts, massaging them she stares at Kate. 

“You’re so beautiful,” she mumbles as she kisses her. Kate reaches around and holds Tobin’s legs, pulling her up around her. 

“Put your arms around me,” Kate commands, her voice low. Tobin grips the back of Kate’s neck as Kate brings her hands to Tobin’s breasts. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time,” she says as she massages her and begins to grind her hips against Tobin’s core. Tobin’s head falls back, half in the water as she moans. Kate lowers her head and brings her lips to Tobin’s breast, lightly teasing around the nipple with the tip of her tongue. 

Tobin changes her grip by moving her hands to Kate’s shoulders and bringing her chest up to Kate’s face. Kate begins to suck on her nipple and skimming over it with her teeth. 

“Oh, Kate,” Tobin moans, “don’t stop, please.” Kate does it again and moans herself feeling so turned on. 

“Kate, yes, please -ow!” Tobin yelps, flinging herself from Kate’s grip and disappearing under the water. 

“Tobin!” Kate yells as she splashes around with her arms out. Tobin’s head pops to the surface, she’s coughing and sputtering. 

“Something bit me!” she exclaims. Kate feels something swim between her legs. 

“Aaahhh!” Tobin flailing around, “what the fuck!” She’s still coughing. 

Kate grabs her hand and beelines it for the shore. She starts laughing hysterically as she drags Tobin from the water and they fling themselves down on their towels. Tobin’s laughing with her as they shake the water from their hair. 

“What the Hell, man?” Tobin laughs. “Something bit my foot!” she exclaims as she raises her right foot to inspect it. Sure enough, there’s a small semi-circular bite mark on the side of her foot, just below the pinkie toe. 

“Looks like a turtle bite,” Kate comments. 

“That fucking hurt!” Tobin says as Samson comes to lick her face. “Thanks,” she says as she gently pushes him away. 

“Samson, easy now,” Kate commands. He sits and looks at the two of them. 

“Well, that sure ruined the mood.” Tobin frowns at Kate. 

“Maybe we can pick up where we left off?” Kate raises her eyebrows. 

Tobin smiles, “That would be nice, but I really do not like the idea of our first time being sex on sand and dealing with all that.” 

Kate nods. “Good point.” 

Tobin leans in and kisses Kate slowly. “Maybe later?” she asks her. Oh my God, Kate thinks, her voice is so fucking sexy. 

“Only if you want, mavourneen,” she replies as she returns the kiss. “I’ll follow your lead, I want you to be sure.” 

Tobin nods and returns to looking at her foot. “I think it’s gonna bruise,” she murmurs. 

“We can ice it when we get back,” Kate teases. “Eeekk!” she squeals as Tobin wrestles her onto her back. At the same time, they both realize they are naked. They both jump back and look sheepishly at each other. 

Kate’s eyes drift downward and she lightly touches Tobin’s wound. “This is healing beautifully,” she comments as she retracts her hand. Tobin glances down, “Yeah, the vitamin E seems to help.” Her scar is still red but the areas that had opened up and bled have become smooth. Faint lines from those scars can be seen.

“I don’t know about you, but there are some areas on me I do not want to get sunburned,” Kate comments as she reaches for her shirt and puts it on. 

“Good idea,” Tobin agrees and does the same. They both get dressed and find some shade under a tree to eat the snacks Kate put together. 

They watch highlights from the Thorns game from Tobin’s phone, seeing the drew a tie 0-0. Tobin frowns but shakes her head. Kate touches her arm and looks at her. 

“There’s nothing I can do right now, it’s frustrating but it’s the truth. My back is feeling better so when I go in for therapy, we’re going to increase it again.” She says, “I just feel helpless, I know you know that feeling. Seeing the team play on without you. It’s just not always easy to let it go.” 

Kate nods as she thinks back to her playing days. “Yeah, I know.” She says as she rubs Tobin’s back. “You’re on a positive path now, so let’s just keep the good mojo going?” 

Tobin smiles, “You’re right.” She says, “so what do you think: shower, nap and then watch the DVD?” 

“No dinner?” Kate questions. 

Tobin shakes her head. “I don’t want to watch it on a full stomach.” 

“Oh,” Kate thinks about it for a moment. “You’re right.” 

They gather their items and Kate calls for Samson who is barking at turtles by the water’s edge. He reluctantly follows them to the ATV and hops in the back. Without speaking about it, they take separate showers and meet up again in Kate’s bed. Kate falls onto her back as Tobin sets an alarm and crawls in. 

“This feels good,” she whispers as she pulls the light cover over them. 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees as she lays her head on Kate’s chest. They fall asleep easily. 

 

“You ready” Kate asks as she’s walking back to the couch holding the remote with the DVD cued up and ready to go. She let Samson go play outside while they watched the DVD. Tobin takes a deep breath and looks at her as she releases it. “Yeah,” she says, “let’s do this.” Her voice is determined but her eyes give way to nervousness. 

The black screen gives way to Allison’s enlarged face and Allie’s in the upper corner. It’s clear it’s on a projected screen in a hotel conference room. The rows of chairs show the Thorns players and Tobin locates Allie front and center with Sinc next to her. 

“Tobin?” Allie cries, Tobin and Kate can see Allie’s near tears, her lower lip trembling. 

“Hi Allie!” Allison replies cheerily. “How are you?” 

“Uh, hey Allison, are you alright? Is Tobin with you?” Allie asks her face filled with confusion. 

“Oh yeah, she’s right here.” She laughs. “She’s a little tied up at the moment.” 

“Um, where’ve you’ve been?” Allie is clearly struggling. 

“Oh,” Allison runs a hand through her hair. “Just hanging out, getting to know one another.” 

“Hang on a sec.” Allison says and the screen goes dark. Tobin and Kate hear muffled speaking.

“I wish I could say it’s been a pleasure knowing you, Allie, but it really hasn’t.” Allison smiles. “Do you have me a speaker and a projector?” 

“Yes,” Allie nods. 

“Whole team there?” Allison grins. She looks like a lunatic, Kate thinks. She’s fucking naked and acting like this is just a happy conversation. 

“Yes,” Allie repeats. Tobin sees Sinc grab her leg. 

“Great, let me get Tobin for you.” Again the screen goes black and jostling noises are heard. 

The room can see a finger blocking the camera as Allison speaks again. 

“Tobin,” she says gently. “Tobin, its’ time to say goodbye.” 

Gasps fill the room. Someone mutters “Fuck!” 

Tobin’s face fills the screen. She looks exhausted. Her left eye is almost swollen shut. Her face is alarmingly pale and splattered with blood, dried tears, snot and vomit. Holy shit, Tobin thinks. She glances at Kate who has gone pale. 

That mother fucker, Kate thinks, what the fuck did you do to Tobin, she wonders. 

“Tobin?” Allie cries. “Tobin, honey can you hear me?” Tobin is tearing up at the sound of Allie’s terrified voice. 

Kate places her hand on Tobin’s knee, gripping it tightly as they watch Tobin struggling to focus on the screen. She’s working her throat as she struggles to speak. 

“A-a-al-Allie?” she asks as she squints. “Are you there?” Neither Tobin or Kate recognize Tobin’s voice, it’s raw and low and rough.

“Oh, Tobin I’m here, we’re all here!” They hear Allie reply 

“Allie, you’ve been a great friend…” At this Tobin scootches back into the couch and draws her knees to herself, curling into a ball. Kate lays her hand on Tobin’s back and rubs it lightly. 

“Tobin, we’re with you. Feel our strength, baby.” Allie is crying. 

“Al, can you tell my Mom-“Tobin’s voice cracks and she turns her head as tears begin to slide from her eyes. Tobin now has tears forming in her eyes as she watches. 

Allie nods. “I will, sweetie. But you’ll tell her yourself.” She cries. They see Sinc grasp Allie’s shoulder. 

The phone swaps back to Allison. 

“Well that was a nice heartfelt moment.” Allison laughs as she fakes drying her tears. 

“That fucking cunt!” Kate exclaims lowly. 

“The show will start in about two minutes. Let me show you around a little.” Allison says as she pans the camera back to Tobin. Her eyes are shut and her lips are moving as if she is praying. Allison backs up a little to show the restraints. Then she moves slowly down her chest and torso. 

Tobin’s eyes are wide open as she sees the amount of hickeys covering her neck and chest, bite marks on her breasts, below her sternum showing a large, angry red stripe. It’s a bit bloody and about three inches wide and maybe eight inches long. Below that they can see some of the E-stim gel pads. 

Kate grabs Tobin’s knee and tightly clutches it. 

“You know, Tobin’s been a trouper.” Allison says. “She took the belt real well. Didn’t pass out until after.” Allison suddenly shifts to her right. 

“That must be you,” Tobin murmurs. Kate nods. 

“Well, things are going to get started sooner than I thought.” Allison says as she leans over to her left and places the phone in a cradle. 

The view changes to one that shows Tobin lying on a padded table with Allison straddling her hips. Both are naked. Kate and Tobin can see one of the far walls that has photos of Tobin and closer to them, a few dildos are laying on the wide table. 

“Help!” Tobin suddenly croaks with as much power as she can. 

Allison slaps her across the face and grabs at something on other side of the table. 

“Fucking bitch!” Kate mutters, her grip on Tobin’s knee near painful. 

“Help, I’ve fallen down!” Allison yells in the direction of the door. Tobin and Kate see the Thorns start yelling as they see Allison has a gun in her hand. 

“Where are you?” Kate’s voice calls out as she enters the doorway with a gun raised. 

“Spags?” she says with a hint of recognition. 

Now Kate’s eyes are wide open, her mouth is too. She’s taken her hand from Tobin’s knee and is sitting stiffly with her back straight. 

Allison fires her weapon striking Kate in the right shoulder. Kate stumbles back firing at Allison. Allison flinches and fires again and Kate crumples to the floor. 

Tobin lets out a strangled sob as she grabs Kate’s hand and squeezes it. Kate allows their fingers to interlock and she squeezes back. 

“Oh my God!” Allie cries. 

They see Sinc leaping up from her chair and swiveling around to face the back of the room. “Have they found her?” she cries. “Someone has to help her!” She’s yells as she brings her hands to her face as she sobs. Amandine gently takes Sinc in her arms as they sit back down. Somewhere in the back of the room, Tobin and Kate can hear someone getting violently ill. 

Allison looks down at her side and sees that she’s been shot. She slowly slides off the table and stands next to Tobin. 

“Not fatal,” Kate mutters angrily.

“Ready Tobin?” Allison asks. 

Tobin and Kate hear more cries fill the air and they jump as they see Tobin suddenly jolts up as the current strikes her abs pulling her head and neck forward as she gasps from breath. 

Tobin’s feet hit the floor and she’s sitting upright, just as straight as Kate. Their hands still locked together. Kate glances at Tobin and sees a look of horror on her face with tears streaming down. Kate is wiping her eyes furiously as she glances back to see as soon as it starts, it stops. 

“That’s pretty cool!” Allison smirks. “But something’s missing.” She reaches for a navy container on the table. Morton Salt. 

“Oh no!” Tobin whispers as she brings her free hand to lay on her wound. 

“Tobin, I think this just might put you over the edge.” Allison says as she opens the container and pours the salt on the open wound across Tobin’s stomach. 

“Fuck!” Kate yells. She’s so angry. Angry at Allison, angry she got shot, angry Tobin had to go through this. 

They watch as Tobin’s head slams back into the table. Her body rigid. Her mouth hanging open. No words. No moans. No screams. No air. She starts to tremble. Then violently shake against her restraints. Her face twisted in agony then suddenly going limp as a rush of air leaves her lungs and she takes a huge breath. 

“Fuck,” Tobin quietly breathes out, her eyes glued to the screen. She’s rubbing her stomach unconsciously. 

“Now you get to see her when they all light up.” Allison laughs. 

“No, no, no, no,” Tobin is chanting as she squeezes Kate’s hand. 

Kate cries out as Tobin’s scream fills the room. “Oh God!” she exclaims as she sees Tobin’s legs twitching, toes forward, back arched, chin against her chest. Every muscle standing out as she endures the electricity coursing through her. 

They can see some Thorns players looking away. Some on their knees praying. Crying. A few get up and move to the back of the room out of their view.

They watch as Tobin slams back down on the table, gasping and choking and struggling to breathe, her chest heaving. 

“Tobin,” Allison says as she moves closer. She strokes Tobin’s hair. “I love you.” 

Mouths open in horror they watch as Allison raises the gun to her head, pulls the trigger and her body falls out of view. 

The team screams out. 

Kate and Tobin scream out. 

Tobin is breathing heavy as she watches. Kate disentangles her fingers from Tobin’s and Tobin quickly grabs her and moves her to her lap. Hugging her fiercely, her head on Kate’s shoulder. Kate places her hands on each of Tobin’s thighs. 

“Tobin!” Allie cries out. “Focus!” she instructs. 

“Hurts!” Tobin cries out, her voice cracking.

“Breathe with me!” she begs. “In!” 

“Out!” 

“In!”

“Out!” 

She repeats this as Tobin begins to follow her instructions. Her breathing slowing but with jagged sounds when she inhales. Tobin slowly rolls her head to the right so she is looking at the phone. Eyes half open. Exhausted. Broken. She slowly closes her eyes. She’s lucky to be alive, Kate thinks. She’s lucky she didn’t have a heart attack. How many times did Allison put her through that? How many times did Allison force herself on Tobin?

“No!” Allie yells. “Stay awake! God dammit Tobin! Stay awake!”

How is Allie keeping it together, Tobin wonders. She looks terrified. 

Kling is suddenly next to Allie. “Tobin!” she yells. “Open your eyes!” 

Tobin slowly responds. 

“Remember that time in Brazil with the huge water buffalos blocking our path?” 

Tobin slowly nods. 

“Remember what we did to Kelly after we got back safely?” she asks. 

Tobin nods again. 

“Well, I just so happen to have recently acquired a very life like snake and I need your help putting it in her bed at our next camp. Ya gotta stay awake buddy!” 

“Yeah…” Tobin mumbles. 

Sinc’s face enters the picture. “Tobin! Remember our Canada vs. USA dance off during the rain delay?” 

Tobin cracks a half smile. I don’t remember any of this, Tobin thinks. 

“I demand a rematch, eh!” Sinc exclaims with her best Canadian accent. 

Suddenly a loud crash is heard in the room. They see Kate struggling to get up. Tobin hugs Kate tighter. 

“The cop!” Emily yells. “She’s getting up!” Sonnett is pointing to the screen. 

Kate and Tobin watch as the Thorns players and staff scramble to stand in front of the large screen. They’re cheering on Kate as she struggles to get her balance. They can see blood trailing down the right side of her neck. She looks disoriented. She quickly takes in the room. Looks at the floor at Allison for a moment. Her face twisted with grief and disgust. She takes a deep breath and makes her way to the table Tobin is laying. 

“I’m Sergeant Kate Doyle of the Fairview Police.” She states, putting a shaking hand gently on Tobin’s shoulder. “What’s your name?” 

Tobin looks at her with dull eyes. “Tobin. Heath.” Tobin replies squinting. 

“Well Tobin, let’s get you out of here.” Kate says reaching for the strap on her Tobin’s left wrist. 

“20-18 this is 20-16” Kate calls into her mic. 

“20-18, over.” 

“Suspect down. Officer down. Need two ambulances.” Kate states. 

She frees Tobin’s left hand and gently brings her arm to her side. 

“Tobin, you’ve been very brave,” she says softly. “Can you be brave for just a little longer?” 

“You were so sweet,” Tobin says as she plants a soft kiss on Kate’s neck.

 

They see Tobin gulp and nod affirmatively. 

“20-16 what’re injuries?” the radio goes off. 

“Uh, took one to the shoulder with the vest and um, a round to the head I think.” Kate replies. 

“Kate!” the dispatcher cries. 

“Please just get back up here.” Kate pleads. 

The mic goes off with various commands and responses. 

Kate is freeing Tobin’s left leg and notices the pads and wires. “E-stim?” she asks looking at Tobin. 

Tobin nods her head as some tears start to fall. As Kate is disconnecting the wires from the pads, she suddenly shoots her head up. “Do you smell something?” she asks scanning the room.

“20-18 this is 20-16. Natural gas leak at this location. Removing victim from home. Need a fire response.” 

“That smell of gas was so strong,” Kate comments. She realizes the memory of this is slowly coming back to her. Just bits and pieces. 

“Fuck!” Kate mutters as she moves to the opposite side of the table. She’s moving fast to quickly release Tobin from the restraints and yanks the wires from the pads. Kate stumbles a little reaching for a blanket on the floor. 

“Am I hearing things or do you hear muffled screaming?” she asks Tobin.

“I hear it,” Tobin rasps. “Basement?” 

Kate brings her arm beneath Tobin’s shoulders and sits her upright slowly. Tobin whimpers from the pain. Keeping her left arm around Tobin’s shoulders, Kate gently grabs Tobin’s left knee and twists her legs so they are dangling from the side of the table. She takes the blanket and drapes it around Tobin’s shoulders.

“I’m sure this is gonna hurt like hell, but we gotta get out of here.” She says as she backs in between Tobin’s legs. 

“You ready?” she asks. 

Tobin takes a deep breath. “Yeah,” she breathes out. 

“Count of three and we go.” Kate instructs. 

“One, two, three!” she says as she lifts Tobin onto her back. Tobin cries out from the pain as Kate brings Tobin’s arms around her neck and firmly holds them at the wrists and begins to carefully make their way out.

Allie and Emily are standing in front of the screen, holding each other as they cry. 

“I can’t believe we just witnessed that!” Kate and Tobin hear Kling’s voice state as they see her looking at the screen. The room is empty. The table bare except for a few wires hanging off it. 

Everyone in the conference room is talking at once. A small group in the corner is praying.

“She’s back!” Kling yells as she points at the screen. 

“Who?” asks Mana. 

“The cop!” Kling exclaims. “She just came back in and went to the left of the screen.” 

“The fucking house is going to blow up- is she crazy?” Sinc asks. 

“At that moment, I think I was,” Kate says giving a little laugh. 

Moments later they see Kate with a teenage girl on her back and one in her arms as she staggers from the house.

“What a fuckin’ badass!” Emily proclaims.

Not even a minute later, a loud explosion is heard, the room erupts in flames and the connection lost.

The screen goes dark. It’s over. 

Both women are breathing heavy, adrenaline coursing through their bodies after witnessing this event. Kate can feel Tobin’s chest rising and falling against her back. She sounds like she’s hyperventilating, Kate thinks. Kate turns around straddles Tobin’s with her legs along the outside of Tobin’s thighs. They stare at each other, a look of astonishment in their eyes. Both realizing the miracle of them living through the experience they just witnessed. 

Tobin’s eyes drift to Kate’s lips and she leans in and kisses her. A fire ignites in both of them and they passionately kiss, tongues battling for domination, hands on skin. Tobin reaches to lift Kate’s shirt and raises an eyebrow as Kate nods. She flings it to the floor as Kate grips Tobin’s tank top and does the same. Their hands immediately cup each other’s breasts, squeezing and teasing as their mouths meet again. Kate slides her head to Tobin’s throat and licks as she slowly moves to her neck, biting it and gently sucking and licking to cover the sting. Tobin’s moaning as her left hand reaches Kate’s ass, slipping under the waistband to feel her tight skin as she massages. 

Kate moves up to Tobin’s ear, teasing it with her tongue as she whispers, “Can I taste you?” 

“Yes,” Tobin moans, “yes,” she pants, “please.” 

Kate’s on her knees between Tobin’s legs, Tobin’s hips lifting as Kate slides her shorts and underwear down in one swift move. Kate pulls Tobin towards her so her ass is barely on the couch, slouched back. Kate leans forward and reaches for Tobin’s breasts as she kisses her sternum and trails down to kiss her wound. She licks her abs as she goes, leaving light kisses along the way, thinking of how defined Tobin’s body is even after being away from hard training for a month. Her hands follow, massaging her torso and when she looks up, she sees Tobin with her head back, mouth open, eyes closed, moaning in that voice that makes Kate wet. 

She is massaging Tobin’s thighs in a circular motion, getting closer to her core with each pass as she trails kisses and licks her abs. The higher her hands get, the more she spreads Tobin’s legs apart. “Please, yes,” Tobin’s moaning, her voice filled with desire. 

Kate’s lowers herself to view Tobin’s glistening center, Tobin’s hips riding up in want. She brings her tongue to her clit and lightly teases it causing Tobin to moan loudly. She’s looking at Tobin thinking this is it, this is the moment. She drops her tongue against her and applies pressure as she swirls it against and around her clit again. 

“Babe,” Tobin moans, “don’t stop,” she pants, “please.” 

Kate’s distracted because she can’t stop looking at Tobin as she loses herself in pleasure. Kate buckles down, determined to have Tobin pulling at her hair soon, begging her to stop. She runs her tongue through her folds, hands firmly on Tobin’s thighs to keep her in place. 

She drops down to Tobin’s entrance, licking a circle around it before tonguing it and entering. “Oooohhhh,” Tobin moans loudly as Kate presses on. Kate’s circling it, widening her entrance before plunging her tongue in as hard as she can. Tobin’s hips are bucking and Kate glances up to see Tobin gripping her breasts as her head is flung back, moans coming from her. A fine bead of sweat covers her forehead and neck. 

Kate continues on, she can’t get enough of Tobin’s scent, her earthy scent, it’s intoxicating. She tastes so mellow with a hint of sweetness. She wants to drown in it. Kate can feel her own wetness leaking down her thigh. As she is plunging her tongue into Tobin again she feels Tobin’s hips cant towards hers. She’s bucking and moaning and now she’s slid her hands down, under her own thighs to grip her hamstrings. 

“So, good,” Tobin pants, “don’t stop.” Tobin’s mind is racing, the pleasure shooting throughout her body. Her toes are tingling, every nerve feels like it’s on fire. Every time Kate enters her, she wants something more to fill her up, fingers, a dildo, anything. She’s never been one for deep penetration before but now she wants anything, she’s desperate.  
“Kaaaaate,” she moans as Kate moves her tongue back to her folds, long licks as she then takes her clit in her mouth. Tobin feels the pull in her hips, she’s bucking uncontrollably. 

Just as Kate begins to suck on her clit, Tobin explodes with a loud moan. 

Kate keeps sucking as Tobin’s head burrows into the couch her mouth open, a continuous moan coming from her lips. Her hips jerk into her and Kate rides it, swirling her tongue as she sucks. Tobin’s legs are twitching, her thighs quaking, toes pointed. Moments later she falls back, her body relaxes. Regretfully, Kate takes her mouth away, swiping at the moisture on her chin with her hand and wiping it on her shorts as she moves up to straddle a panting Tobin. 

Tobin’s head is to the side, her eyes are half shut, she’s breathing heavy, her arms at her sides, useless. A small line of drool is coming from the side of her open mouth and she’s quietly moaning with each exhale. Kate thinks she’s never looked more beautiful. She reaches up to wipe the drool from Tobin’s mouth and that’s when Tobin’s eyes shift to her. 

A slow smiles spreads across her face and she turns her head to face Kate. “That was,” she says, “I can’t,” she pants, “You were,” she grins, “holy shit!” 

Kate smiles as she leans in and kisses her. Tobin’s eyes are still dazed and she still hasn’t really moved. “Are you alright?” Kate asks. 

“I can’t move,” Tobin smiles lazily, “you knocked me out,” she leans forward a bit to kiss Kate. “I think I need a few minutes,” she says as her hips jerk a little. “I’m still feeling it,” 

“You relax, I’ll be right back,” Kate says as she leaves the couch. A few minutes later she returns with a washcloth and kneels next to Tobin who hasn’t moved yet. She gently wipes away the sweat from her forehead and neck and then reaches down in between her legs and cleans her up.

Tobin extends a clumsy hand to her and pulls her in for a kiss, she brings her left hand up to her jaw and caresses it as she sweetly kisses her. “Bed?” she asks. 

“Bed,” Kate agrees, “Now,” she says as she pulls her up. Tobin trips a little as she gets her legs under her and giggles. “Holy fuck, Kate,” she laughs, “You knocked me on my ass!”

“Well, you know,” Kate says as she playfully blows air across her nails and flicks her fingers, “that’s what happens when you have the best.” She continues to drag Tobin through the house to the bedroom with Tobin’s musical laugh echoing as they go. 

 

It doesn’t take long before Tobin has Kate moaning and squirming in pleasure. 

“Oh, Tobin!” she moans loudly as two of Tobin’s long fingers enter her as she slowly pumps them forward and back while she’s slowly nipping and sucking on one of Kate’s breasts. 

Tobin’s leg is between her thighs with her hand in front so as she thrusts her hips to grind into Kate, her fingers move deeper. She picks up the pace and they are moving as one, Kate moaning with each thrust. Tobin begins to curl her fingers as she pulls back, hitting Kate’s g-spot causing her to moan loudly. She’s panting, her breaths coming in short intakes as she moans on her exhales. 

Tobin rakes her teeth over Kate’s nipple as she arches her back for more. Tobin is moaning as she brings her hips into Kate’s pelvis, sometimes stopping to grind on her. 

“Kate,” Tobin moans, her mouth next to her ear, “you feel so good on my fingers, you’re so fucking tight,” she pants as she thrusts again and again into Kate. 

She continues to thrust as Kate’s groans become louder, her hips moving faster. Tobin rakes her teeth over Kate’s nipple one last time as Kate loudly exclaims, “Oh God!” and she lowers herself in between Kate’s legs. She stops pumping her fingers, choosing to curl them quickly over Kate’s g-spot as she takes Kate’s clit in her mouth. She swirls her tongue around it and begins to suck. 

Kate arches her back, her hips out of control, her breathing coming in loud pants. “Tooobinnnnnn.” She moans as if it’s a prayer, light and musical. Tobin wants to hear it again and again and continues curling her fingers in Kate and alternating between sucking her clit and swirling her tongue around it. She feels Kate cum again against her tongue and after the third time, she’s going for number four when Kate’s hands are in Tobin’s hair begging her stop, “I can’t,” she pants, “please, asthore,” she pleads. 

Tobin rests her dripping wet fingers in Kate’s belly as lays her head on Kate’s hip, looking up at her, eyes filled with adoration. She’s gently rubbing Kate’s thigh with her right hand as Kate tries to control her breathing. 

“How did you,” Kate pants, “your fingers,” she exhales, “fuck.” 

Tobin is grinning as she watches Kate come down. Her hips jerking with aftershocks. Kate trails her fingers through Tobin’s tangled hair, they’re both sweaty and tired. When Kate’s breathing returns to normal, she gestures for Tobin to pull herself up alongside her. She takes Tobin’s hand and licks and sucks herself from it. 

They fall asleep in that position for an hour waking when they both grow too hot from each other’s skin. Kate sits up, stretching her arms. It’s still daylight but the sun is lowering is the sky. 

“I’m hungry,” Tobin mumbles as she rolls on her back. “And I feel gross and I smell.” 

“Same here, mavourneen,” Kate smiles down at her. “Let’s get cleaned up and eat.” She says as she leaves the bed. 

They take separate showers and meet in the kitchen where Tobin is already pulling out some different foods. She’s chewing on a carrot as she does it, humming a song Kate doesn’t recognize. 

“Hungry?” Kate laughs as she bumps Tobin’s shoulder. 

“Starving!” Tobin replies with a mouth full of carrot. 

“Gross!” Kate laughs again. She moves Tobin out of the way, “here,” she hands her a Tupperware dish. “Lasagna.” 

“Oh yeah!” Tobin exclaims opening the dish and sticking her fingers in it.

“Do you mind if we heat it up?” Kate asks sarcastically. Tobin looks up at her, a dribble of red sauce on her cheek. 

“Oh,” she says sheepishly, “you wanted some?” 

Kate shoves another carrot stick at her and pushes her to the island. “Sit down, Bugs,” she says as she plates two large pieces and sticks one in the microwave. 

She puts a couple of slices of bread in the toaster and gets out butter and a container of garlic. The microwave dings, Kate retrieves the plate and slides in the next one. The toast pops up and she butters the slices quickly and adds a dash of garlic salt. She serves Tobin her plate with a piece of bread and as she turns back, the microwave signals her dish is done. Tobin had gotten them each a glass of water and silverware and was waiting patiently for Kate. 

“Go ahead,” Kate says as sits down. 

“I wanted to wait for you.” Tobin says simply. It’s a simple gesture that’s not lost on Kate and she’s touched by it.

“Thanks,” she says. 

Tobin reaches her hands across the table and bows her head. “Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you for bringing us together and allowing us to have each other in our lives. We ask for your continued wisdom and guidance as we move forward. Please bless this food to our bodies, in Your name we pray, Amen.” 

“Amen,” Kate says quietly as she reaches for her fork. 

They eat in silence for a few minutes mostly because they are very hungry, busily shoving the lasagna in their mouths. 

“This is really good,” Tobin comments as she’s wiping up the sauce on her plate with her garlic toast.

“Kayla made it, Liz left it here this morning.” Kate explains as she takes a sip of water. 

Tobin looks up quickly, her face concerned, “We’re not gonna get food poisoning, are we?” she asks seriously. 

Kate almost spits her water out as she swallows first before laughing out loud. “What?” she exclaims. “NO!” she laughs. 

“But, the great chicken incident,” Tobin is still very serious. 

“Oh, that!” Kate laughs. “Oh, no, sweetie,” she reaches across and lays her hand on Tobin’s forearm, “Kayla’s come a long way since then,” she comforts her. “No food poisoning since.” She nods. 

Tobin is still not convinced. “Are you sure?” 

“I wouldn’t lie to you about this, mavourneen,” Kate states smiling at her. “I’m eating it too.” 

Tobin sighs, “Okay, I just,” she starts, 

“It’s okay,” Kate repeats. “I didn’t realize that story traumatized you.” 

Tobin laughs. “Well, I’d eaten the whole huge piece and then you spring on me that Kayla made it and it was the first thing that came to mind!”

“Your face was priceless!” Kate laughs. 

“I was scared!” Tobin replies laughing. 

“I would be too,” Kate agrees. “We gave Kayla cooking lessons downtown for Christmas that year.” 

“Was she pissed?” Tobin asks. 

“A little offended at first,” Kate replies “then she went to the first lesson and loved it.” 

“That’s cool,” Tobin bobs her head. She reaches across for Kate’s empty plate and picks her up and heads to the sink. She rinses the plates and silverware and places them in the dishwasher.

She stands at the counter looking at Kate. “I was thinking of us chilling out on the deck with a beer for a while and then maybe I’d do some journal writing.” She says. “Did you want to play your piano for a while?”

Kate nods, “Solid plan.” 

“If you don’t mind, we can open the house up?” Tobin asks, her eyes hopeful. “I’d really like to hear you play, if that’s cool.” She glances down quickly, “if it’s a personal thing, I understand.”

Kate gets up from her chair and stands in front of Tobin. She drapes her arms around her neck, interlocking her fingers. “I don’t mind you listening at all,” she says quietly as she kisses her. Tobin’s hands find Kate’s hips as she kisses her back. 

“I just want to be considerate and let you do your thing,” Tobin mumbles. 

“You’re very considerate,” Kate says as she kisses her neck, “so considerate,” she tongues her ear a little, “maybe later I’ll show you how considerate I can be.” 

Tobin smiles as she kisses her. “Solid plan.” 

They grab a couple of beers and head out to the deck. Samson greets them and Kate goes back in the house to return with his food dish. They sit on the deck, passing a joint between them as they sip their beers. 

“We were you scared?” Tobin asks. “When you answered the call?” 

“Well, most of it is coming back to me, but I don’t think scared would be the word,” Kate explains, “more like, hyperaware. Aware of your surroundings, aware of what might happen,” 

“I was scared when she shot me,” Kate admits, “I was scared when I smelled the gas and was trying to get you out quickly, I was so dizzy, I thought I would fall over.” 

“What about when you went back in for those girls?” 

Kate shakes her head, “Adrenaline and duty.” 

“Have you seen those girls since?” Tobin asks quietly. 

“Jaimie and Mara?” Kate nods. “Yeah, a couple of times. I think they want to meet you but are afraid to ask.” 

“Really?” Tobin asks, surprised. 

“Yeah, you idiot.” Kate grins, “They both play soccer and you’re their idol.” 

“Huh,” Tobin says as she chews her lip. 

“If you want, we could go to one of their club games when you’re ready to be out in public. It would be pretty low key.” Kate suggests. 

“Maybe I could get tickets for a Thorns game for their team or something.” Tobin thinks aloud. 

“Bring them each a jersey and sign it?” Kate offers. 

“Are you super sure they like me? ‘Cause I’d feel like a dick bringing them stuff if they weren’t.” Tobin says as her eyes narrow. 

“Their Moms told me they alternate wearing the number seventeen for their games, mavourneen.” Kate smiles. “I think it’s pretty serious.” 

“I feel responsible for them being taken and abused.” Tobin says suddenly, her eyes getting a little wet. 

“Tobin,” Kate says sternly, “that’s on Allison, not you.” Her voice softens, soothes. “You didn’t even know they were there until the end. You’re not responsible, love.” 

Tobin’s quiet. She wipes her eyes, “Yeah, well I still feel shitty about it.” She turns to look at Kate, “You were talking to their parents?” 

Kate nods. “Yeah, at the hospital a couple of times and then when I visited them at home.” She takes a drink, “I hooked them up with Jen and one of my foundations is paying for their therapy.” 

Tobin reaches her hand across her chair to hold Kate’s. She squeezes it. 

“I was thinking,” Tobin begins, “depending on how I feel being back at Providence Park, of maybe going to the game Saturday.” 

“Really?” Kate’s eyes are wide as she squeezes Tobin’s hand. 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods. “I just, I feel like I want to, like, go out to dinner and stuff and maybe being at the game would be a way people around to know I’m here and won’t be shocked or something if they see me. And maybe they’ll just give me some space.” 

Tobin turns to Kate again. “Would you come with? With Samson?” 

Kate is nodding and smiling before Tobin finishes asking. “Of course!” she says. “Sammy’s got a cool therapy vest he can wear to get in.” 

“Okay,” Tobin smiles. “Maybe we’ll talk about it on Thursday? I’ll know how I feel about it by then, I’m sure.”

“Solid plan.” Kate grins. 

“Solid plan.” Tobin smiles back. 

“Depending on how that goes, maybe we can hit up the girls’ soccer the following week?” Tobin asks. 

Kate nods. “Just let me know, I’ll plan it.” 

“Good.” 

“Do you think I can take you out on a date next week too?” Tobin asks shyly. 

“I’d love too.” Kate agrees.

 

They sit in comfortable silence, both basking in the thought of future plans together. Tobin swings their hands back and forth gently. 

“Tobin,” Kate’s voice is serious. “Do you want to talk about your attack?” 

Tobin stops swinging their hands and looks at Kate. 

She nods. “Will you tell me about yours?” she asks. 

“Absolutely,” Kate squeezes her hand. “His name was Pete Desmond, we called him Petey D. He was going to school to be an athletic trainer so he worked with all of the teams at school. He had a girlfriend who played on the volleyball team. He was a nice guy.” She starts. 

“One night we got back late and I was icing my knee down in the ice bath, took a hard slide and clipped the catcher’s knee and it swelled up like a balloon. Gail, our female trainer got a call that her dog was sick so she left in a panic.” 

“ASU was pretty strict on not having boys and girls alone, especially at night, especially late after everyone else left.” Kate tips her bottle at Tobin. “It just shows how none of us ever thought of Petey that way. Nobody stayed with me because no red flags were raised. It wasn’t a big deal. Anyway, just as I am drying off, Petey comes up behind me and knocks me out with a five pound weight. He picks me up as I’m dazed and starts to carry me off. I try fighting him and he hits me again. I black out and when I come to, I’m down with my head near the floor on a decline bench. He’s taped my mouth shut, my hands together and my legs are pulled forward and taped to the base on each side of the bench. Basically, my ass is hanging off it. My shorts are off and he’s mumbling about his girlfriend and how she cheated on him and he’ll show her. By this time, it’s like two o’clock in the morning.” 

Tobin’s mouth is hanging open, her eyes as big as saucers. 

“He doesn’t lube up or anything, just forces himself into me the first time. That hurt really bad and it must have hurt him too because he stopped and spit on his hand and then started again. I’d been a couple of guys in high school and had slept with them, part of me finding out if I was really gay or not, I guess.” 

Kate finishes her beer and raises her eyebrow at Tobin. Kate’s back in a minute with two fresh beers. 

“They caught him at around six o’clock in the morning, still going at it, with me nearly passed out. The head trainer had to be dragged off him. He gave him a busted nose, busted eye socket, a couple of broken ribs and had grabbed a scissors before the security guards grabbed him.” 

They both take a drink. 

“There were nine condoms on the floor and one still on him. I was transported to the hospital, where they checked me out. I needed fifteen stitches in my head and had a low grade concussion. I was in the hospital for two days and then went home to Chicago with my parents. Fall break was coming up so I arranged it with my instructors. They were very understanding.” She pauses. 

“The second day I was home, I got a call from my coach telling me that Petey had hung himself in his jail cell the night before. His suicide letter expressed remorse and he apologized to me.” 

“Oh my God, Kate!” Tobin yelps. 

“Yeah,” she says sadly. “That was hard to swallow. I was grateful there would be no trial and a small part of me that l didn’t like was glad he was gone. I felt guilty that did he killed himself even though I knew it was on him. I felt suffocated by my feelings. I tried hard to act normal during the day around my family, especially Evan. He knew I was sad and got hurt but didn’t understand had happened.” 

She takes a drink, “Break couldn’t get over fast enough. I promised my parents I would start seeing a therapist and told them I would be fine.” 

She looks directly at Tobin. “I don’t want to shock you or anything but my next year was crazy. I threw myself into training and practice, ignoring my friends that were truly trying to help me. I made the National Team and was preparing for the Olympics. My classes were going fine, I was able to keep up, I liked being busy. I trained until I wanted to drop, I studied until I thought my eyes would burn out of my head. I broke things off with my then girlfriend who I wouldn’t talk to about anything that happened. I made myself unavailable for any situation where I might have to talk about my feelings. I hooked up with random girls and drank a little too much sometimes.” 

She shakes her head. “Evan died and then my Mom. How I managed to graduate with honors and go to the Olympics, I’ll never know. I got a job lined up out here because Jake invited me to live with him for a bit until I got my feet under me.” 

She takes in a deep breath. “This place was my salvation. Nature, the earthiness,” she smirks at Tobin, “being able to legally toke up really helped get my head straight. I met Jen through a Police Department referral and my healing truly started.” 

Tobin is looking out to the yard, her face serious. “You can speak about it with such grace and poise,” she says quietly, “I envy that.” 

Kate rubs Tobin’s forearm that’s resting on the arm of the chair. “I’ve had a long time to deal with it and learn and I’ve actually spoken publicly about it a few times. It’s not easy the first few times, but after a while, I was able to detach myself from the emotion of it.” 

Tobin nods as she bites her lip. 

Kate shifts in her chair. “Look, I don’t know if this is the right time to tell you this but, since we’ve met, I’ve never got the feeling like we’ve ever held things back from one another.”  
Tobin brings her leg up to swivel in her chair and face Kate. “No, I haven’t gotten that feeling either,” she says. “Go for it.” 

Kate takes a long pull from her beer and looks at Tobin. “I had a very hard time realizing I, a lesbian, had one of the best orgasms of my life while being raped by a guy.” 

Tobin’s eyes open wide at her admission. Kate laughs, “You would totally suck at poker, dude.” 

“What?” Tobin looks at her confused. 

“Your face, you just give away your emotions.” Kate smiles. 

Tobin blushes as she looks away. She’s quiet and Kate feels that she’s contemplating something. Kate rubs her forearm to let her know she’s with her. 

“Allison raped me so many times I lost count. From sometime on Tuesday afternoon until Thursday afternoon she would rape me,” Tobin’s voice is shaky but strong. “Sometimes she would just use her tongue, sometimes her fingers. Sometimes she would use a dildo that part of went into herself.” 

Tobin takes a drink of beer. 

“In between she would turn on the E-stim. I have never felt pain like that in my life, I thought I was going to die sometimes. I felt like my heart was racing and was going to pop out of my chest. I begged for her to stop and she would laugh and tell me she loved me. I would beg for water and she would make me eat her out for it.” 

She sighs as she looks up at the darkening sky. “I was never with a guy before. I was always set on marriage first, then when I finally realized at the end of my sophomore year in college that I actually liked girls, I dated a couple girls. I didn’t have sex until my junior year.” 

“So Allison,” Kate begins.

“Yeah, she took my virginity so to speak.” Tobin looks at her. “The first time she did it, it slow and she used lube and it didn’t hurt too bad. I had one of the best orgasms in my life. After that, it wasn’t so enjoyable, she used different size dildos and ripped me up.”

“Mavourneen,” Kate says as she squeezes Tobin’s forearm, “for me, it was mostly because I was helpless, I didn’t have control. What fucked me up was that I didn’t accept that I enjoyed being dominated. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s not the kink society makes it out to be. It’s just another healthy way to express your sexuality.” 

Tobin is nodding, “I think I liked that part of it too,” she says quietly. 

“Well, you need to process that a bit, I think.” Kate says, “That’s a big deal to learn about yourself. I’ll never pressure you about it, you let me know if you ever wanna try it. It’s not like you didn’t get me off earlier or anything. It’s not something I always have to have. But if you’re curious….” 

Tobin grins shyly at her. “Okay.” She stands up. 

Kate stands as well and they hug. “You’re so easy to talk to,” Tobin says in her ear. “Thank you so much.” Kate kisses her lightly. “You as well, asthore.” 

“What do you think of me letting Jen watch the DVD?” Tobin asks. 

“Why don’t you bring it with, explain it, tell her exactly what’s she’s going to see and ask her?” Kate suggests. “I don’t want her to freak out about it.” 

“Neither do I,” Tobin replies. “I really like her. Ooh, I almost forgot, what size shoe does she wear?” 

“I think a nine or a nine and a half, why?” Kate answers. 

“I got her some cleats,” Tobin smirks. 

“You ass!” Kate laughs, “that’s awesome!” 

“I’ll give them to her the next time we see her socially.” Tobin grins. 

“Solid plan,” Kate nods. 

“Solid plan.” Tobin smiles. 

Kate squeezes her again and they break apart, “I think I’m going to go play for a bit,” 

“Yeah, I’d still like to write a little,” Tobin says as she grabs her empty beer bottles. Kate grabs hers and they head into the house. 

Tobin headed for the bedroom to get her journal and Kate to the living room to sit at the piano. She was sorting some sheet music as she watches Tobin exit the hallway, now wearing glasses, and heads back to the family room. 

Kate’s feeling nostalgic and wants to play some comfort music. She hasn’t been to Mass for weeks now and she misses it. She shuffles her line up for the night just choosing random songs that seem to jump out at her. Some she wants to sing as well and she hopes it doesn’t disturb Tobin. 

Tobin is scribbling away at the island in the kitchen as the music starts, distracting her for a moment. She recognizes it as Let There Be Peace On Earth, one of favorites from church. They always played it Christmas and it brings a smile to her face as she continues to write. She can’t believe the conversation she had with Kate and how easily she revealed one of the most disturbing thoughts she’s had about her attack. Maybe, she thinks, just maybe, talking is really the key to getting over it. She’s so grateful that Kate knows exactly how she feels about having an amazing orgasm during a rape, it’s so comforting to her. She doesn’t feel dirty anymore, she doesn’t feel like she’s harboring this twisted kink. She wonders if the few books she bought has any information on it and makes a note to check them out when she’s home tomorrow. 

The familiar chords of Amazing Grace come next and Tobin smiles again. To her, this song brings a mix of emotions, the lyrics providing inspiration and the actual music bring her sadness. It’s been played at so many family funerals that sometimes it’s hard to enjoy it anymore without thinking of the loved ones Tobin has lost in her life. She wonders how it would be if Kate sang it. Probably incredible. 

She goes back to her journal as the song continues, writing about how she feels confident and wants to learn more about identify her triggers. She wonders what scenarios could cause her more. She’s excited to talk to Jen tomorrow, excited that she’s feeling this confidence that she can tackle whatever is put in front of her. 

She doesn’t recognize the next song but it’s beautiful. She’s writing about how deeply she feels for Kate in a way she hasn’t like any of her past relationships. They seem to balance each other out, she thinks she’s there for Kate just as much as Kate is for her. She hopes she is. Tobin realizes she sometimes feels needy and can’t articulate what it is she needs. Kate just seems to understand her. She doesn’t always understand Kate, like on Friday when she came here and Kate was upset, she knew she was upset. That was a good thing, that she could read her like that. She didn’t know what upset her but she just waited it out. She hoped Kate felt loved by her actions, just massaging her shoulders and quietly waiting for her to speak. She didn’t know if Kate wanted her to keep asking questions or not. But then, Kate started talking and that was good. She likes taking care of Kate and being able to make her feel better. 

A new song begins and Kate’s voice fills the living room. 

“You shall cross the barren desert  
but you shall not die of thirst  
you shall wander far in safety  
though you do not know the way  
You shall speak your words in foreign lands  
and all will understand  
You shall see the face of God and live

Be not afraid  
I go before you always  
Come follow me  
And I will give you rest”

Tobin recognizes this one instantly as Be Not Afraid. Her grandmother told her stories about how the church introduced the song in the seventies with guitars and everyone freaked out because they thought the hippies were trying to take over. The message is so beautiful and the melody so gentle. 

She’s just about finished writing her thoughts on the day when Kate begins to play Amazing Grace. As soon as Kate begins to sing, Tobin flips her journal shut and sets her pen on it. She wants to see Kate sing but doesn’t want to intrude. She sits back in her seat and closes her eyes. The music sounds so rich, almost as if there’s more than just the piano playing. Kate’s voice, angelic as she sings in Latin. Tobin slides out of her chair to take a peek down the hallway. Kate’s eyes are closed as she plays and sings, this is definitely a song she knows by heart. 

Tobin feels a rush of emotions as she realizes she truly loves Kate. Looking at her, she squints to see her eyes are wet with soft tears, but the smile as she sings betrays it. Kate’s body moves with the music as she sings along, so freely. Tobin thinks the tears are from the beauty of the song. After all, it is praising Jesus’ mother and she knows enough about Catholicism to know they revere Mary. Tobin turns from her spot and leans against the wall. 

The song ends and there’s a pause, just when Tobin thinks she should check on Kate, her mouth drops open when she hears the first three notes of the next song. Filled with emotions Tobin slides to her knees as she hears Kate begin to sing one of the songs that Tobin holds closest to her heart. 

“I can only imagine what it will be like  
When I walk, by your side  
I can only imagine what my eyes will see  
When you face is before me  
I can only imagine  
I can only imagine.”

It was 1999 and Tobin was eleven years old, getting a ride home from her youth group after talking about what Jesus meant to them. Rachel, one of the high school youth leaders, was driving and she told Tobin about this awesome song that just came out. She played it for Tobin as they drove and it really connected with her. Rachel had said, if this was how it would be, the Lord could take her when He pleases. That scared young Tobin and she protested, feeling like that wasn’t something Rachel should say. When they pulled up to Tobin’s driveway, Rachel hugged her and told her that she shouldn’t be afraid to live and chase her dreams ever because God would be with her every step of the way, she should go, work hard and be the best soccer player ever and the biggest reward was waiting for her at the end. 

The very next day, Tobin rushed to the store with her hard earned chore money and bought the CD and played it every day after. Sometimes multiples times a day. She couldn’t get enough of the song. Her sister bought her a portable CD player with headphones after the first week because she couldn’t take it anymore. 

When she heard two weeks later that Rachel was killed in a car crash, she sobbed for hours. She was inconsolable downstairs on the couch. When she dragged herself up to her room to go to bed that night, she popped on her headphones and played this song. Instantly she calmed and smiled remembering what Rachel told, she was walking with Jesus.  
Looking back, Tobin realizes Rachel was her first crush, she always followed her around and watched her play high school soccer when she didn’t have a game herself. Rachel always made time for her and never shunned her in favor of her own friends her age, especially when an awkward Tobin would approach her shyly after a game. Rachel wore the number seventeen jersey and Tobin made a vow to try to get that number and play, not just for Rachel’s memory, but for the glory of God. She never told anyone about Rachel, the song or why she chose the number. She only shared that she played for God’s glory. 

She’s crying because it’s beautiful. She’s crying because the memory of Rachel solidifies her love for God and makes her stronger. She’s crying because she’s certain now, through tonight’s conversation with Kate, that she can heal from the trauma she experienced. She’s crying because she knows she shouldn’t be ashamed of anything that happened to her. 

She’s crying because the woman she loves obviously loves that song and God just as much as she does.

She rests her glasses on her head as she’s wiping her eyes when she sees Kate’s feet in front of her. 

“Tobin!” Kate exclaims as she drops to the floor. “Are you okay?” 

Tobin is nodding but she can’t find any words to speak yet, her breath hitching and her tears still flowing. Kate pulls her in and hugs her tightly, not knowing what brought this wave of emotion on Tobin. It only takes a few minutes when pulls Tobin pulls back and looks at Kate. She looks completely wrecked, panicked and on the verge of tears herself. 

“It’s okay,” Tobin smiles through her tears, “I’m fine,” she says as she hugs Kate just as tight. “It was so beautiful, Kate,” she says, “those songs, your voice, I couldn’t help it. It was just so beautiful.” She rocks forward and back a little as she rubs Kate’s back. 

Kate pulls back and studies Tobin. “You sure you’re okay?” she asks her quietly, seriously. 

Tobin nods and smiles at her, “Yeah, babe,” she says, “I am. It was good crying. Happy crying.” 

Kate still looks uncertain that Tobin didn’t have some sort of mental breakdown. She’s eying Tobin as if she’s a wounded animal that needs to be approached slowly, carefully or if she says the wrong thing, Tobin will shatter. 

Tobin stands and pulls Kate up with her and leads her to the couch. They sit on the middle cushions sideways facing each other. Tobin is smiling at Kate and Kate is looking confused and a little scared. 

“Wait one second!” Tobin exclaims and jumps from the couch. She returns with two water bottles handing one to Kate. Kate looks down at it as if she’d never seen a water bottle before. Tobin takes it from her hands and unscrews the cap and gives it back to her. She takes a large swig of her own and sets it down on the coffee table and takes one of Kate’s hands. 

“Babe, something amazing was happening to me while you were playing.” Tobin begins and she’s looking at Kate with such adoration. “When you played Let There Be Peace On Earth, I realized how important speaking about our feelings was. Our talk on the deck, it was, I don’t know, like, completely unfucking believable! Like, how many sessions with Jen would that have taken to get me to talk to about how I felt during everything? It’s talking. It’s talking with you, Kate. You make me so comfortable, I can talk about anything with you. Easy, hard, it doesn’t matter.” 

“I don’t think I could ever tell Allie or Alex or Lauren some of the things we talk about. They’re my best friends but there’s just some places we don’t go to, you know?” Tobin is looking at Kate expectantly and all she can do is nod. 

“Be Not Afraid is my Grandmother’s favorite hymn. I can remember holding her hand in church when we would sing it.” Tobin smiles at the memory. “In 2009 I got sick. Like, really, really sick. The doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me, I was puking all the time, I had no energy, I could barely get off the couch. My Grandma would send me notes to encourage me and let me know she was thinking of me. She would always write the lyrics of that song on the inside of the card and I would read them every single time. It gave me strength when I didn’t have it.”

Tobin stops to take a drink of water. She looks at Kate with a grin and her eyes blazing with a passion Kate’s never seen before. 

“Then you played I Can Only Imagine.” She says and looks down and takes a deep breath. She looks at Kate. “I have never told anyone this before. This song, in a way, changed my life.” 

Kate’s eyes are wide as she looks at Tobin. 

Tobin tells her of her crush on Rachel, how perfect and nice Rachel was, being so kind to her as an awkward, confused youngster. How she played soccer so well, how she always made time for Tobin. How she shared her stories about faith with the youth group and always adding more on the drives home just for Tobin, as if she knew Tobin was more curious and devout than the others. She tells Kate about the song and how special it became to Tobin, how she played it endlessly because it filled in the gaps she had about God. She tells Kate how Rachel told her to always chase her dreams. Rachel was the first non-family member who truly believed in her at such a young age. 

Tobin looks down when she tells Kate of Rachel’s death in a car accident at the age of seventeen. She tells her how seventeen was Rachel’s number. She looks into Kate’s eyes as she tells her how she took Rachel’s number, not just to play for memory, but also for the glory of God and to remind herself to always put Him first. 

“And for you, you of all people, to be playing that song, tonight, after everything we talked about, it was, like, this amazing God thing.” Tobin says, “Like an affirmation that it’s okay for me to feel these things I feel, like, I know I’m strong enough to get through this, and, like…” she drifts off, looking away. 

She clears her throat and looks back at Kate. “The fact that you played that song,” she says quietly, “means more to me than I can ever say.” 

Kate’s eyes are a little glassy with unshed tears as she looks at Tobin. She smiles shyly at her and stands up. She extends her hand to Tobin and pulls her up and into a hug. Tobin sighs as soon as Kate’s arms surround her and Kate does the same. She’s stroking Tobin’s hair lightly as she rubs her back. 

“You know,” Kate starts, “I didn’t,” she pauses, “those songs just sort of chose themselves tonight, Tobin.” She says. “I didn’t think about it ahead of time.” She smiles. “Each of those songs mean something special to me. But some, I haven’t played in a long time.” 

Kate leans in and kisses her softly. “I think it was a God thing for both us tonight, mavourneen.” Tobin kisses her back, “Yeah,” she says quietly. 

Kate hugs her again and then heads to the back door to call Samson and have him come on for the night. He nuzzles Tobin as soon as he sees her before flopping down for his belly rub. Tobin laughs as she kneels to pet him and talk to him in a cute baby talk voice. 

Kate locks the doors and shuts off light as they move to her bedroom. Tobin yawns as soon as she sees the bed and goes to grab some sleep clothes. After they both change and complete their nightly rituals, they meet in bed. 

“We should change the sheets,” Tobin murmurs tiredly.

Kate stares at Tobin hungrily. “We’ll do it tomorrow,” she says, her voice low as she shuts off the light and moves across the bed, taking her shirt off as she does. “I don’t know why I bothered,” she laughs as she bends over Tobin and kisses her. “I want you,” she says, her voice low with desire. 

Tobin brings her arms around her and quickly rolls her over so she’s hovering above her. “Me first,” she says as she kisses her. She drops down to Kate’s neck and lavishes kisses and gentle bites. Kate moves her hands down Tobin’s back and begins to lift her shirt up and brings it over Tobin’s head. Tobin pulls back and flings off the shirt, smiling down at Kate as she does. She kisses her lips and Kate’ bites Tobin’s lower lip, keeping her their while Kate brings her hands to Tobin’s breasts. Tobin moans as she moves closer when Kate releases her lip and they lock lips, hungrily exploring each other’s mouths. 

Tobin brings her left hand to Kate’s breast, massaging it and rolling her nipple through her fingers. She moves back to Kate’s neck and trails down to her chest and licks her way to her breast. Kate moans as Tobin takes it in her mouth, swirling her tongue around the nipple. Her hand slowly snakes down and she scratches across Kate’s belly. Her leg is in between Kate’s and she lightly moves it forward against Kate’s center. Tobin crawls back a little and gathers Kate’s waistband in her hands. Kate lifts her hips as Tobin slowly slides them off, revealing Kate nakedness. 

“You’re so beautiful, Kate.” She marvels at her as she gently kisses her lips. She slowly moves down again, trailing her tongue along Kate’s neck, licking her breast as her right hand massages the other. She makes her way to kiss each of Kate’s hip bones and softly kisses her inner thighs as runs her left hand along Kate’s silky smooth skin. She dips her face in between in her legs, inhaling the unique scent of Kate which drives her crazy. Hands on both thighs, massaging slowly and she spreads them slightly and runs her tongue through her folds. 

“Oh, Tobin,” Kate moans as she lazily runs her hand through Tobin’s hair. She can feel Tobin’s long hair on her thighs, lightly tickling her as she grinds her hips towards Tobin’s mouth. She’s doing amazing things to her with her tongue and Kate is so wet and ready for her. Tobin licks delicately around Kate’s clit, teasing gently as she squeezes Kate’s thighs roughly. She slowly enters her with two fingers and begins to slowly move forward and pull gently back. She’s still licking her folds and teasing her clit as she goes. 

“Faster,” Kate moans as her hips increase their rhythm. Tobin complies and applies more pressure to Kate’s clit at the same time. Tobin tilts her head forward to take Kate’s clit in her mouth and suck it as she curls her fingers along Kate’s walls. 

“Uh,” Kate moans, “yes!” she says as she presses Tobin’s head closer to her clit. Tobin leaves her fingers curled as she increases her pace and basically just drags them along Kate’s g-spot, faster and faster as Kate emits a loud moan. Her hips are off the bed, heels dug in as her hand falls away from Tobin’s head. 

She relaxes into the bed as Tobin lifts her head and slowly removes her fingers, licking them clean. She crawls up next to Kate, lying with her head resting on her hand, watching as Kate’s breathing slows. Kate turns to her and smiles slowly, “That was so good, mavourneen,” she says as she leans her head forward. Tobin leans in as well, meeting for a slow, sensual kiss. 

Tobin brings her hand to Kate’s cheek, softly caressing it as they kiss. Kate’s hands are rubbing up and down Tobin’s back, feeling her muscular frame. Kate slowly glides her fingers lower and brings them to Tobin’s front, trailing her abdominals reaching up to finally cup her breasts. Tobin moans into Kate’s mouth as Kate squeezes her breasts and then circles her nipples with her fingertips. 

Kate reaches up and presses Tobin’s shoulder back, guiding her to slowly lay on the bed. As Kate now straddles Tobin, she lays her legs between Tobin’s and slowly rocks her hips. 

Soon, Tobin is meeting the gentle thrusts as she gets more turned on. 

Kate leans back, kneeling over Tobin. “These have got to go,” she says as she toys with the waistband of Tobin’s shorts. Kate scoots back as she slowly draws them down Tobin’s long legs and she tosses them off the bed. She massages Tobin’s muscular calves and moves higher to her thighs and then up to her shoulders as she lays, stretched out across Tobin. They kiss again and Kate brings her lips to Tobin’s neck and throat, licking and sucking, careful not to leave any marks. 

Tobin begins to rock her hips against Kate’s leg, she trying to get any friction to relive herself from the ache of want in between her legs. Oh my God, Tobin thinks, this feels so good. She moans as Kate begins to massage her right breast while taking her left into her mouth. 

“Kate,” she moans, “please, I need you,” she pleads as she arches her back. Her hips are moving a little faster against Kate’s leg. 

“What do you need, asthore?” Kate’s voice is low, God, she’s so sexy, Tobin thinks. 

“Touch me,” Tobin’s nearly whining. “Please,” she begs. 

Kate drops her hand from Tobin’s breast as she still licks and sucks her on her other one. She trails her hand down, teasing as she massages Tobin’s thigh, slowly, ever so slowly getting near to where Tobin needs it most. 

“Oooohhhhhh,” Tobin’s loud moan escapes her mouth as Kate is finally running two fingers through her drenched folds. 

“You are so fucking wet,” Kate is nearly moaning as well. She teases Tobin’s entrance with her two fingers, not entering her bit slowly circling it. Tobin’s hips are rapidly moving as she moves her arms above her, her hands gripping the metal railings of the headboard. 

“Yes, please,” she’s moaning, “Oh, Kate,” her breathing growing heavy, “yes,” Kate removes her lips from Tobin’s breast and leans up on her right elbow so she can see Tobin. Her head is back, arms above her, muscles standing out as she tightly grips the railing. Her hips are gyrating against Kate’s fingers. 

Kate watches Tobin’s face as she slowly enters her with her fingers. Up to the first knuckle as Tobin is desperately trying to thrust against them. She slides them in further as Tobin lets out another moan that has Kate so wet it’s ridiculous. 

“Yes, yes, yes,” Tobin chants as Kate begins thrusting into her harder. Tobin’s head is swimming, all she feels is pure bliss. Her toes are tingling, her legs spreading themselves wider, she needs Kate deeper. She arches her hips for more as Kate drives in further. “Mmmmmmm,” Tobin’s moaning, this is it, this is what she wants. 

Tobin’s hips are bucking and Kate is meeting her with her hand. She feels the tingling sensation moving up her legs to her hips and then pure release. She arches her back, her head falls forward, mouth open, no sounds coming from her. Her legs grow slack, her hips twitching as the orgasm runs through her. 

Kate smirks slightly as she lowers herself in between Tobin’s legs, still slowly pumping her fingers in and out. As Tobin comes down slightly, Kate starts up again, increasing the motion and curling her fingers over Tobin’s g-spot.

What the fuck, Tobin thinks as Kate renews her efforts, it’s sending Tobin off the edge, already hyper sensitive from her first orgasm. Her breathing grows rapid, panting loudly through her mouth, tightly gripping the railing. She can feel her legs jerking every time Kate hits her g-spot and when she feels Kate’s mouth on her clit, her back arches. 

She cries out as Kate begin sucking on her clit, swirling her tongue around it, her fingers still moving in her. Spots begin to form in her vision, she’s shaking uncontrollably as she yet another orgasm unleash. She stops breathing as it washes over her, she’s dizzy as it takes control, her hips quaking, every nerve ending firing. Then blackness. 

She’s still breathing heavy as her eyelids flutter open, focusing on Kate’s face peering at her, concerned. 

“Are you okay?” Kate asks quietly. 

Tobin is still blinking rapidly, shaking her head to release the cobwebs. “Yeah,” she smiles, “that was amazing,” 

“You scared the fuck out of me, Tobin,” Kate says as she runs her hand over Tobin’s forehead, moving her hairs back. 

Tobin looks at her curiously, confused. 

“You passed out,” Kate explains, “for, like, twenty seconds,” 

“Oh,” Tobin replies, she doesn’t know what to say. “I did?” 

“Yeah,” Kate answers with a small smile. 

Tobin pulls her in and hugs her as Kate lays her head on Tobin’s chest, “I told you earlier you knocked me out,” she says as she places a kiss on Kate’s head, “this time you really did,” she grins. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kate asks again, lifting her head to look at Tobin closely. 

“I’ve never felt better, babe,” Tobin says, kissing her lips. Exhausted from their activities, they fall asleep quickly in each other’s arms.


	24. You Did This For Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin finally learns what those meetings the Thorns were having a couple of weeks ago as she prepares for her first back inside Providence Park.

 

 

They wake up late on Monday which has Tobin scurrying around trying to get back to her place to meet Robin. With wet hair and a granola bar in hand, she kisses Kate at the door. Kate will come by for lunch and then leave when Tobin has her appointment with Jen. 

Kate shuts the door and goes back to her room, contemplating going back to sleep before deciding to strip the bed and start her day. She smiles remembering last night, the feeling of Tobin’s hands on her, her kisses and how she made her feel. 

Smiling, she shakes her at the thought of Tobin passing out. She’s read before about that happening to people but never had been with one who actually did. She knows it usually is not anything serious medically, but will talk to Tobin if it happens again so she can get checked out. She wonders if Tobin’s passed out before or if it’s something new. She also wonders if it has something to do with the prolonged exposure to the E-stim she experienced. She hopes Tobin doesn’t have any lingering effects from her time in captivity.  
She eats breakfast and starts cleaning the house and doing a few other chores before it’s time for her to shower and head over to Tobin’s place. 

Tobin is just finishing her grocery list and figuring out a delivery time when Robin knocks on her door. She’s feeling rushed from sleeping in she and she doesn’t like it. It takes her almost an hour before she settles into her routine with Robin and she apologizes to Robin for being so flustered. They are progressing on her flexibility, her back is feeling so much better the doctor has released her to start biking again. She’s been off the muscle relaxers and feels great. This excites Tobin as she sits in the saddle, ready to begin her three miles. Right away she feels the soreness in between her legs from Kate and it makes her blush so furiously, Robin asks her if she’s okay. 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods her head, blushing even more from Robin noticing. “Just excited to be back doing this,” she says, hoping that will explain it away from any further questions. 

Kate is standing in front of Tobin’s apartment, holding the key in the palm of her hand. Tobin and Kate had exchanged keys the other day, both making it seem casual and both knowing it meant more. She smiles at the thought as she inserts it into the lock, twisting the doorknob and entering. 

“Hey, babe!” Tobin greets from the kitchen where she’s plating lunch. Robin is over by the table pulling out the E-stim unit for after lunch. 

“Hi!” Kate smiles as she kisses Tobin. “How’s it going?” 

“Great!” Tobin responds happily as she sets two plates down on the island. Kate grabs the third and follows her. 

“Hi Kate!” Robin greets as she comes to the island. 

“Hi Robin! How was your weekend?” Kate asks. 

They talk easily as they eat their lunch. Kate offers to clean up the kitchen as Tobin and Robin get back to the end of their training. Tobin’s on the mat doing band work, puffing as she exerts herself. When Kate quickly finishes the dishes, she pulls the background check files from her bag and begins reading them. She hasn’t finished them yet and wants to get it done before she goes back to work. 

Soon Robin is packing up and Tobin is headed to take a quick ice bath. Kate absentmindedly says goodbye to Robin, fully engrossed in her reading. She has a couple of files that bother her and made a few notes about them in her notebook. She hears the shower start and she closes the file she’s reading and heads to the bedroom. 

She undresses quickly and slides under the covers, a smirk across her face. She quickly remembers to set her alarm to give Tobin enough time to get ready to go to her appointment with Jen and sets her phone on the nightstand. She factored in enough time for Tobin to shower again. 

Tobin exits the bathroom wearing only a towel with her hair dripping a bit as she sees Kate. “Hey,” she grins as she heads for her dresser to get clothes. 

“You won’t need those, mavourneen,” Kate says, her voice low, “get over here.” She draws back the covers to reveal her nakedness to Tobin. Tobin’s eyebrows shoot up as a smile crosses her face. She drops the towel and stands at the foot of the bed. 

“Ms. Doyle, what did you have in mind?” she asks as innocently as she can with the smirk flashing across her face. 

“Why don’t you come over here and find out, Ms. Heath.” she purrs back. Tobin crawls forward towards her and slides under the covers. 

“Are you sure you have everything you need?” Kate asks her as they head towards the door. 

Tobin pats her pockets and nods, “Wallet, phone, DVD and keys,” she smiles, “I’m good.”

Kate nods and they leave the apartment and head down the hallway to the elevator. As they’re riding down, Tobin nudges Kate’s shoulder. Kate looks at her expectantly. 

“Big plans for your last day of freedom tomorrow?” Tobin asks. 

Kate nods as she smiles, “Yeah,” she says as she links fingers with Tobin, “spending it with my favorite person.” 

Tobin beams at her, her smiling contagious. “How about I stay at your place tomorrow night?” she asks, “I’d like to see you in the morning.”

Kate leans over and kisses her cheek as the doors open. “That sounds perfect.” 

Tobin hugs her as her Uber pulls up. “I’ll talk to you later tonight, okay?” 

Kate nods. “Have a good appointment with Jen and a great time with your team.” She kisses her and they break apart, Tobin waving as she gets in the vehicle. Kate gets in her car and makes the twenty minute drive back to her place. She thinks about how she intentionally uses the word appointment instead of session after Tobin had shared with her that what Allison used during her ordeal. She doesn’t know if it’s a trigger word for Tobin but she made the mental to try not to use the word around her. The next time the subject comes up, she’ll ask her about it. 

Liz is coming over for dinner and she wants to get started on it. She smiles at the thought of catching up with Liz. She knows she’ll be interrogated about Tobin but she can’t wait to share it all with her. 

Tobin’s appointment with Jen goes really well. They both sit cross-legged on the couch with Tobin rapid firing about her weekend and the amazing epiphanies she’s had. She’s telling her about Kate helped her so immensely in so many different ways, talking, the music, the sex. Liz is recording their time together with her phone, because she can’t keep up taking any notes because Tobin is talking so fast. When Tobin exhausts herself twenty minutes later, they sit in silence for a moment. 

“One more thing,” Tobin says as she holds up the DVD, “I don’t know if you want to watch this or not. It’s pretty graphic and very upsetting.” She proceeds to tell Jen exactly what she would witness. Jen’s eyes flicker when Tobin tells her about Kate getting shot. 

Jen nods. “I have to be a professional and do this.” She says slowly as she reaches for it. “But damn, I don’t want to personally.” 

“I just,” Tobin starts, “I know you and Kate are best buds, but to be honest, it freaked me out seeing that happen and she was sitting right next to me.” She finishes quietly. 

“I know,” Jen says. “I’ll be okay. But thanks for warning me and caring about my feelings.” Jen straightens up. “Now, your homework is this:” she reviews Tobin’s methods for identify triggers, calming herself down when she’s feeling uncomfortable and reminds her to let whoever she’s with know if she’s feeling uncomfortable. She does this a few times as Tobin is getting ready to leave, and Tobin wonders why she’s being so adamant about it. 

Jen puts a hand on Tobin’s shoulder, “I know you’re meeting the team tonight and I want you to be prepared. People with good intentions sometimes ask very inappropriate questions and can make you feel uncomfortable.” 

Tobin nods, now understanding. “Thanks,” she says as she gives her a hug, “you’re the best!” 

“Have a good night, Tobin,” Jen says as she watches walk down the hall. 

 

As Tobin opens the door to leave the building, she sees Allie and Sinc waiting for her. Both hug her tightly in their greetings, missing the midfielder. Allie slings her arm around Tobin’s shoulder for the short walk to Sinc’s SUV, “How ya doing, Harry?” 

Tobin’s smile answers the question. “Really well,” she says as they approach the vehicle. “Things are going great!” 

Allie offers her the front seat and slides in the back. They chatter about their traveling, what’s for dinner tonight and how the team is excited to see her. 

“We have to make a quick stop,” Sinc says as she turns in traffic. 

“That’s cool,” Tobin agrees, she’s just along for the ride tonight. She knows it won’t be a late evening, with the team having training in the late morning. 

Allie is talking about how she wants her dogs to meet Samson and how she thinks he would be a good role model for them. She has them laughing about their antics when Tobin notices they’ve pulled up to Providence Park. 

“Oh, did you forget something?” Tobin turns to Sinc. 

“Not exactly,” she says as she stops the SUV. Tobin looks and sees John coming towards them. Sinc shuts off the vehicle and Allie is already out of the back of the SUV. She opens Tobin’s door, and gestures to her. “Come on,” 

Tobin unbuckles her seatbelt, confused as to what’s happening. She gets out and looks at the three of them. 

“I’ve been walking around out here,” she says, “I’m good,” 

“Hi Tobin, how ya doing?” John asks. 

“Good?” she replies, still confused. Sinc slings her arm around Tobin’s shoulder and Allie has hers around Tobin’s waist. They start walking down the sidewalk along the park. 

“Listen Tobin,” Sinc starts, her tone serious, “I know you’ve been coming up here and that’s great. But you should really get a sneak peek before you come in tomorrow.”

“Guys,” Tobin says, “you don’t have to do this,” she starts. 

“Yeah,” Allie says, “yeah, we do.” They stop in front of the Players’ Entrance. “Tobin, none of us want you to feel uncomfortable being here. We made some changes and we don’t you to be overwhelmed when you see them.”

“We know how private you are and just don’t want you to have your first reaction to the changes be while this place is loaded with people,” Sinc says, “just in case you react adversely.” 

“Adversely?” Tobin looks at Sinc, “you mean freak out, right?” she’s getting a little angry and then realizes this is why Jen was so adamant about Tobin remembering her triggers and identifying them. 

“Have you two been talking to Jen?” she swiftly steps out of their grasp and stares at them, her arms crossed and posture defensive. 

“Just twice,” Allie says, her eyes wide, clearly not expecting this reaction from Tobin. 

“Once at Jam Night when we told her of what we did,” Sinc says. 

“And once to let her know we were doing this tonight.” Allie finishes. 

Tobin steps back, “We’re not ‘doing this’ whatever it is tonight.” She says, getting pissed. 

“Tobin, look, I know-“ Allie starts, a scared look on her face. 

“No, you don’t fucking ‘know’ anything!” Tobin angrily says taking another step back.

“You’re right, we don’t.” Sinc says softly. Tobin turns to look at her, feeling her foot start to twitch. 

“We don’t know how you feel about this, that’s true,” Sinc says, “but we’re being selfish. We’re being selfish about you because we love you. We love you and want you to be okay with being here. So, we thought we’d come in, just the three of us, so you can check it out in private and see how you feel. Get your reactions and emotions under control tonight, so tomorrow can be business as usual and you won’t have anxiety over it.” Her voice is soft and gentle as she speaks, not condescending or patronizing, just honest. 

The three are standing in a triangle, Tobin trying to control her breathing. As she’s calming down, Tobin realizes that this is a very good idea. The idea of herself freaking out in front of a bunch of staff embarrasses her. She doesn’t want to give anyone a reason to think she’s some sort of mental case because of what happened. She should do this, she might want to kill them for ambushing her, but she knows she should do this. 

She slumps her shoulders as she’s overcome with emotions, they’re being so considerate, she thinks. “I’m sorry,” she says, her voice cracking. 

“We don’t have to do this if you really don’t want to,” Allie says as she slowly approaches her. 

“No, we should,” Tobin should as she reaches forward and wraps her in a hug. “Thank you,” she says, squeezing her tightly. She looks to Sinc, who has tears in her eyes. “Come here,” she says enveloping her in a tight hug. “This is so thoughtful, thank you,” she says as tears spill down her face. 

They stand back, all of them wiping their faces. Tobin clears her throat and takes a step forward. “Let’s do this.” 

“Remember your code?” Allie asks. 

“Yeah, Harry,” Tobin smiles as she punches it in with a slightly shaking hand. They follow her in as she glances around, noticing a new paint scheme. She takes a step to the right towards their locker room when Allie grabs her hand. 

“This way,” she says tugging her. Tobin glances up and sees the dark green emblem of the Timbers with the locker room where the Thorns one once was. 

“What the?” she mutters as she turns to face the left. The Thorns emblem is above them, the walls painted in red, white and black. 

“We had a team meeting a couple of weeks ago, after you first tried to come up here. Both teams, Merritt and Gavin were there too.” Allie explains. “Gavin asked us permission for a background check and everyone said yes immediately. Then, I didn’t go into detail, I just said you were struggling with coming back here. Everyone understands that you might. Especially since she worked her and all.” 

“So we asked if there was anything else we could do to help you feel comfortable.” Sinc takes up the story, “Then Diego Valeri stands up and says “It’s simple, let’s switch locker rooms, training rooms, everything.’” Sinc pauses. “We all just stare at him and then everyone starts nodding and talking and then we realize Gavin and Merritt are there. We all stop and look at them. Gavin looks at Merritt and Merritt shakes his head. Then he says, ‘Diego, I don’t know why I think didn’t think of that myself,’ and he’s smiling. He asks how should we do it, since we’re both in season.” 

Allie takes over. “And then everyone starts talking and then Sinc and Ridgewell are standing on their chairs yelling at everyone to shut up. They both come up to the front of the room and start writing on the dry erase boards. By the end of the night, a plan was formed, committees were made and the go ahead was given for us to start the next night.”  
Tobin looks at them, speechless. She looks at Sinc, who’s eyes are downcast. Tobin takes a step forward and she looks up. “You did that for me?” she asks, her voice trembling. 

“Yeah, dude,” Sinc sniffs, “we all did.” Tobin launches herself into Sinc’s surprised arms, sobbing. She’s completely overwhelmed that the organization would do this for her. Not just her team but the Timbers as well. Not just to say it’s okay to switch, but to do the work at night after practice. To give up their time for her. Her legs buckle and she feels Sinc tighten her grip. “I got you,” she says softly. 

Allie pulls the folding chair the security guard would use forward and places it right behind Tobin. Sinc gently lowers Tobin onto the chair without Tobin leaving her arms. She kneels in front of her as Tobin continues to cry. Her sobs lessening and her breathing slowly returning to normal.

She looks up at the two women, her face still masked in disbelief, “You guys like moved furniture and painted and stuff?” she asks. 

“Yeah, we did,” Allie says smiling. “It was a blast.” 

“You’ll have to ask Kling about the paint incident.” Sinc grins. 

“This is too much,” Tobin says shaking her head. “I can’t believe it.” The three of them wipe their eyes. 

“Why don’t we check it out?” Allie suggest as she gets up, “Seeing is believing.” She reaches her hand out and Tobin takes it. Tobin discovers her foot has stopped twitching and is grateful for small favors. She slowly walks down the hall, hand in hand with Allie as Sinc explains the photos lining it are great moments from past seasons. A cool black and red paint scheme make the photos pop and add to the dramatics of it. 

“Here’s the kitchen,” Sinc says opening the first door they see. The tables and chair are the same but the room is different. Positive sayings are painted on the white walls in red and black lettering. The refrigerator and microwave are located to the side in an alcove with a larger cooler for drinks, a long counter has a sink and cabinets above it. 

“Wow,” Tobin says as she looks around. “This is really nice.” 

“Check this out,” Allie says pointing to multiple flat screen monitors around the room. 

“Come on,” Sinc says as she tilts her head for them to follow her. 

“Meeting room,” Allie announces at the next door. “We only repainted this, the guys are using our furniture right now and will get new chairs later.” 

The meeting room looks similar to their old one except for the chair upgrade. Sleek, high backed office chairs replaced their one piece molded plastic ones behind the narrow tables. The projector screen is a little larger Tobin notices. 

“Mark’s office, coaches offices, equipment room, weight room,” Sinc ticks off as they pass locked doors. She swivels to face Tobin, a big grin on her face. “Our locker room.” She says excitedly. 

Allie leads Tobin into the dark room, while Sinc hits the lights. 

Tobin looks to her left and sees a wall adorned with the Thorns logo and their core values painted around it. Pride. Together. Winner. Community. Character. Commitment. Fans. Passionate. 

She touches the wall and traces her fingers along the words. She turns her head and see the lockers, bright red with black chairs in front of them. Larger lockers than their old ones with large numbers over them, training gear hanging and ready for tomorrow’s practice. She makes her way to number seventeen and fingers her workout shirt. She takes a deep breath and turns to Allie and Sinc who are watching her. 

“This is incredible,” she says softly, tears shimmering in her eyes. “I just, I still,” she stammers, “I can’t believe this happened.” 

“It was pretty amazing how smooth it all went,” Sinc says, “everyone pitched in, we laughed a lot and told a bunch of crazy stories.” She takes a deep breath. “We were just missing you.” 

Tobin nods as she looks them. 

“We talked about how you would paint something or what we thought you’d like.” Allie says as she pulls Tobin in a side hug. 

“Check this out,” Sinc calls out leading them through a short hallway in back to where the bathrooms and showers are. They’re larger with individual stalls with curtains and a bench. 

Sinc leads them to the bathroom, flicking a switch and turning on an exhaust fan. 

She grins wickedly at them, “Let’s christen this place,” she suggests, pulling a one hitter from her pocket. 

They each take a couple of hits, soon laughing about past adventures of smoking up in clandestine places. 

“Okay,” Allie says when there’s a pause in the conversation, “you ready for the Training Room?” 

Tobin straightens up and nods. “Let’s do this.” 

The three leave the locker room, shutting off the lights as they go and walk further down the hallway. Tobin looks up at the sign on the door and takes a deep breath. You can do this, she says to herself. Allison has no power over you, she’s dead. She can’t hurt you. She bounces on her toes before grasping the handle and turning it. 

Allie clicks the lights on to reveal half black and half red walls with white trim, a larger space in the middle with benches and tables coming out from the back wall. The whole room is completely different from their old training room. Fitted sheets cover the tables which makes Tobin sniff the air. She smiles recognizing the faint smell of cut grass. She walks around checking it all out. One corner has a large mat on the ground for stretching. 

I can do this, Tobin thinks. This will work. She turns to the girls and smiles. “This is pretty rad,” she says as she approaches them. “I think I got this.”  
Sinc puts an arm around her shoulder as they slowly leave the room and walk down the hall. “Let’s go see your team, eh?” 

Tobin nods and smiles. “Yeah, I’ve missed them.” 

“Kate, I’m so glad Allie and Sinc made me go and check it out.” Tobin says into the phone. “It was the best idea ever.” She’s lying in bed later that night. She’s already told Kate about how good it was to see everyone and laugh and catch up with the teammates she doesn’t speak to as much. There was crying upon seeing Tobin enter Sinc’s place, crying as different teammates approached her for the first time after seeing her in agony on the big screen over a month ago. Tobin found herself comforting them, telling them she was doing good, feeling stronger and healing well both mentally and physically. Nobody asked intrusive questions or mentioned Allison. It didn’t take long for all of them to grow back into the comfortable routines they had with each other and laugh and talk about training, games and what they thought about their chances this year. 

Repeatedly she was told how much they missed her, not just on the field, but traveling, in the locker room, at meals. She felt loved and appreciated and it was a bit overwhelming at times. Kling, Allie, Sinc and Lindsey were all watching her closely, casually monitoring conversations to make sure Tobin was doing okay. They weren’t obvious or annoying about it, simply part of each group Tobin was in, rotating their presence so as not to be overbearing. Tobin appreciated how they had her back and were so cool about it. 

“I’m glad you had such a great night, mavourneen,” Kate replies. “That was important and I’m glad Allie and Sinc are so incredibly thoughtful. They’re really good friends, Tobin.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies quietly. “They’re actually pretty amazing.” 

They pause for a moment, both thinking about how important the entire evening was for Tobin. 

“So, hey,” Tobin says after a minute, “how was your dinner with Liz?” 

“Oh, it was good!” Kate smiles as she answers. “We had a really good talk.” She shares how Liz is dating a new guy and how she’s nervous but he’s so cool and relaxed. How they met at a pharmaceutical convention a few weeks back and had been talking. She excitedly tells Tobin that she can begin to workout lightly and should be back to normal workouts in two weeks. She’ll most likely be on desk duty for a few weeks and then take her aptitude, shooting and physical fitness tests to get reinstated to full duty. 

They’re both yawning into their phone’s as they talk, unwilling to end speaking together. 

“I miss you next to me,” Tobin laments. “It’s weird.” 

“I miss you too,” Kate replies quietly, “we’ll have to figure out something that works for us.” 

“Yeah,” Tobin yawns and mumbles something. 

“What was that?” Kate asks. 

“I said, it seems like we were on a weird vacation or something.” Tobin explains. 

“Yeah,” Kate yawns. 

Tobin sighs, “Kate,” she starts, “I’m getting super tired,”

“Yeah,” Kate yawns again, “I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?” 

“I’m coming over after I leave Providence Park, so we can nap.” Tobin states. 

“Do you know what time?” Kate asks. 

“Not sure, I’ll probably be doing fitness testing all day,” Tobin grumbles. “I just want to run. I miss it so much.” 

“You’ll get there, sweetheart,” Kate comforts, “best not to push it.” 

“I know,” Tobin sighs, “I know you feel the same way.” 

Kate is touched that Tobin acknowledges Kate’s situation on the same level as herself. “Thanks, mavourneen.” 

“Goodnight, babe,” Tobin says. 

“Goodnight, asthore,” Kate says and they end the connection. 

 

Just as she suspected, Tobin’s morning was spent doing fitness testing. Pullups, pushups, sit ups, which made her sore already, balance and flexibility testing. After a short lunch break, the team doctor came by and they hooked up Tobin to the E-stim, making sure she was absolutely positive she was comfortable doing the muscle response test. Robin was her testing proctor and that made Tobin feel safe. After the E-stim test, which meant they hooked up gel pads to various muscles and recorded at what level they twitched and was not painful in the least, they stood her in front of a treadmill. 

“Would you like to try the CO2 test?” Dr. Fisher asks. They’re in the weight room which has multiple cardio machines in it as well. 

“Absolutely!” Tobin smiles. Even though most athletes hate the test because a mask is strapped to your head and inhibits your oxygen intake until exhaustion, she revels in it. 

“I really want to know where I stand with my fitness level,” Tobin explains. 

“Just, don’t get crazy Tobin,” Robin cautions. “We want you to be able to walk tomorrow.” 

Tobin shakes her head. “I’m here ‘til exhaustion.” She says firmly, “That’s the test.” 

Robin rolls her eyes and smiles. “Alright, let’s get you hooked up.” 

After the ten minute warmup, Tobin’s enthusiasm for the test wanes after the first ten minutes. Then she digs in and pushes herself running as hard as she can on the inclined treadmill. Another few minutes goes by and she is feeling as if she can’t breathe. Just a minute after that, just as she started seeing spots before her eyes, they stop the test before she stumbles. 

Tobin is standing with wobbly legs and her fingers laced behind her head as she takes deep breathes to recover. Her legs are a little wobbly, but the fire she feels in them feels good. Like, normal to her. She knows she usually lasts longer on this test, but she also knows she hasn’t run in over a month. 

Dr. Fisher is standing behind the portable computer station, analyzing the data. Tobin can see her eyes dancing across the screen as she moves the mouse to get comparative tests. “Come look,” she says as Tobin moves next to her, Robin looking on as well. 

“The right side shows your pre-season test and the left shows today. As you can see, you started out on pace as pre-season and your levels started changing after the first thirteen minutes.” She points at the graph. “Those few minutes, well, you were tanking out.” 

Tobin nods. “Yeah, I started seeing spots.” She admits. 

“Well, based on this, if I had to give you a percentage of where I think you’re at, it would register as about 65%.” Dr. Fisher says, looking at Tobin carefully. She sees Tobin’s shoulders slump at the news. 

“However,” she says, switching screens around to show the rest of the fitness testing, “based on these scores with your flexibility, strength and balance, overall, I’d put you at 80%.”  
Tobin relaxes at that evaluation. She nods and smiles at the two of them. “I can work with that,” she says and exhales a deep breath, “I honestly thought it would be much lower.” 

Dr. Fisher and Robin smile at Tobin, “Tobin,” Dr. Fisher says, “you perpetually have the highest fitness scores on this team, it’s a testament to your work ethic that you’re recovering so well.” 

“Why don’t you take a ten minute ice bath, shower up and change and by then we’ll have drawn up an updated therapy plan to review?” Robin suggests. 

“Sounds good!” Tobin smiles, “Thank you both for this, I really appreciate it.” 

She does as she’s told and as she’s dressing, she can hear some of the players coming in from practice. They laugh and chat before Tobin heads to Robin’s office to review her plan. Soon she’s out of the building and in her car driving to Kate’s place, fingers tapping the steering wheel along to a song in her head. 

“Hey Sammy,” Tobin greets as she squats down to get kisses and pet him. “Where’s Kate?” she asks him as if he’ll answer. He turns and spins away, tail wagging as he heads for the kitchen. Tobin stands back up and follows. 

Kate is in the kitchen and turns to greet Tobin, “Hi sweetie,” she says as she envelops Tobin in a hug. “How was your day?” 

“Hey babe,” Tobin greets and kisses her lightly. “It was really good. How was yours?” 

“Good, catching up on chores, waiting to take a nap,” she grins. “Have you had your protein drink?” she asks, gesturing to the can of mix and cup she has laid out. Tobin shakes her head. 

“No, I left right after and forgot,” she says as she moves to the counter. “Thanks,” she says as she scoops out the powder into her cup and adds another one before filling it with water and stirring. She takes a drink and then takes Kate’s hand in hers and leads them towards the back door. She kicks off her shoes as they head to the deck and sit. 

“So, you were okay being there today?” Kate asks quietly. 

Tobin nods as she’s drinking. “Yeah,” she says, wiping her mouth, “I had a couple of moments of being uncomfortable, but Robin was there and I worked it out.” 

“Yeah?” Kate says. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, reaching for her hand. “They did a muscle response test with an E-stim unit that made me a little nervous but I handled it. It was cool.” 

Kate lets out a huff. 

“What?” Tobin asks. 

“Seems a little inconsiderate to have them do that on your first day back,” Kate says sharply. 

“No, no,” Tobin says quickly, “it wasn’t like that. Dr. Fisher just asked and it was fine if I didn’t want to, I just really wanted to have the complete fitness test done so I can see where I’m at in terms of my recovery.” 

Kate sighs, unconvinced. 

“If anything, I pushed for it, they didn’t. I was a little nervous, yeah, but I was good to go. Jen trained me well. No tears, no twitching. I promise.” 

“If you’re sure,” Kate says slowly as she watches Tobin chug the rest of her drink down. “I just don’t want them pushing you around.” 

“They didn’t babe,” Tobin smiles at her, “but thanks for looking out for me.” She squeezes Kate’s hand and yawns. 

“Tired?” Kate asks. 

Tobin nods and turns her body to face her, a huge smile on her face and a gleam in her eye, “Yeah, but I got to run!” 

“Beep test?” 

“No, VO2.” Tobin grins. 

“Oh,” Kate grimaces. “I hated that one.” 

“It’s not my fave either, but I love the technical results. It really completes the fitness profile.” She excitedly tells Kate of her fitness scores and new therapy program. The staff wants to remain conservative with her recovery and not increase training levels too quickly. They are in touch with Dawn and the National Team medical staff so they are all on the same page.

They sit in silence for a moments before Tobin points out to the trail that heads to the lake. “How far is it from here to around the lake back?” she questions. 

“Two point nine seven miles.” Kate answers. “From two steps off the deck to five yards from the steps.” 

“You run it a lot?” Tobin asks. 

Kate nods. “Yeah, Samson can run that distance with me a couple of times a week. Before everything happened I would do six miles three times a week and nine of Saturdays.” 

Tobin grins. “I’m released to run. Starting with three miles daily as of tomorrow.” 

“Yay!” Kate exclaims. She pulls Tobin’s hand to get her up from her chair. “That’s awesome, we can run together unless you’re going to leave me in the dust.” she laughs as they head back into the house. Tobin stops off to rinse out her cup and put it in the dishwasher. 

Yawning, she follows Kate to the bedroom and they both moan in relief as they get in bed. Kate lays her head on Tobin’s chest with her hand on her stomach. She feels Tobin rubbing her back momentarily and then stop. She looks up and sees Tobin’s eyes closed, lips slightly parted. She’s out, Kate thinks as she lays her head back down. Today must have been pretty tiring. She sighs deeply as she relaxes and soon she too drifts off to sleep. 

The chimes of her gentle alarm bring Kate back to consciousness. She reaches for her phone and shuts it off as she looks over to Tobin. Tobin’s on her stomach, face turned to Kate, hand near her head, fingers splayed out. Her lips are parted, she’s drooling a little which Kate finds endearing. Her long eyelashes lay against her cheek, her face looks relaxed. Her breaths are slow and rhythmic with a soft snore coming out with her exhales. I bet she’s louder when she’s drunk, Kate thinks and smiles. I’ve seen her drugged up a bit, I bet she’s hilarious when she’s drunk. I wonder if she ever really gets drunk. She’s so into her body performance I wonder if she ever let’s go. 

Kate glances at her clock and sees that it’s after five. I wonder how long Tobin can nap and still sleep for the night. Oh wait, Kate grins, I know what will knock her out. She thinks about how Tobin’s hands and tongue make her feel and she starts to get a little horny. I’ll wait for tonight. I should start dinner and then I’ll wake her up. Better yet, I’ll send in Samson. She grins again and slowly gets out of bed to head to the kitchen. 

Kate ponders what to make for dinner and opens her phone up to skim some recipe ideas for chicken. She figures Tobin eats a lot of chicken in season so she wants to find something healthy and maybe a little different than what she normally makes. She finds one out of a Clean Eating magazine and sets her phone down to gather the ingredients. She soon has it simmering away and she heads back to her room to wake up Tobin. 

Tobin is in the same position as before so Kate slowly sits on the side of the bed and starts to lightly rub her back. She feels Tobin stir under her hand and she begins to massage one of her shoulders. “Mavourneen,” she says quietly, “time for dinner.” Tobin makes a noise which Kate can’t distinguish as words, moans or a mumbling. She presses deeper on her shoulder. “Don’t make me get Samson in here,” she says a little louder. 

Tobin turns her head to face Kate and sleepily opens her eyes. “Hey,” she says, her voice rough. 

Kate smiles down at her. “Dinner’s ready in two minutes.” She says as she stands. Tobin shuts her eyes again when Kate firmly slaps her ass. “Let’s move it, Heath!” she laughs. 

Tobin tries and fails to catch Kate’s arm as she scampers out of the bedroom back to the kitchen. 

As they eat, Tobin’s phone is blowing up with text messages. After the sixth notification, she glanced at it and then turned off her sound. “Do you need to get that?” Kate asks. 

“Not while were eating.” Tobin shakes her head. It impresses Kate that Tobin’s so considerate and doesn’t just jump on her phone. 

They finish eating and Tobin insists in doing the dishes. “So, are you coming home after work or going out with people to celebrate your first day back?” she asks as she’s rinsing the plates. 

Kate just looks at her. “I, uh, I don’t know.” She says. “I haven’t given it a thought.” She shrugs. 

“Okay,” Tobin nods her head as she puts the plates in the dishwasher. “I wasn’t sure of your plans. “ 

“I honestly didn’t even think about it.” Kate says, sensing Tobin wants something of her and doesn’t want to ask. She thinks about it for a minute. “Maybe I’ll suggest to go out Friday after work of anyone asks. I’m sure I’ll be tired.” 

Tobin nods again and waits a moment before speaking. “Would it be okay if I came here after rehab and made you dinner?” 

Kate smiles at her. “It would be very okay for you to be here when I got home and for you to make me dinner.” She gets up from the table and moves to Tobin’s side. “I would really like that.” She kisses the side of her cheek. “You’re too sweet.” 

Tobin turns to face her. “I just want to do something nice for you so you can relax.” She says quietly. “You do so much for me, sometimes I don’t even think you realize it. And I appreciate it so much.” She reaches out and envelops Kate in hug. “I’m just so grateful for you.” 

Kate brings her lips to Tobin and they kiss slowly. “I’m so grateful for you too.” Kate smiles. 

“Do you usually run in the morning or after work?” Tobin asks, looking intently at her. 

“Usually after, why?” Kate replies. 

“Wanna run together tomorrow after work?” Tobin asks, her expression hopeful. 

“Yeah,” Kate smiles. “That’d be cool.” She nods. 

Tobin grins at her. “Cool.” She grabs her phone and starts looking at the texts. She’s chewing the inside of her cheek as she reads them and smiling. 

“So,” she says facing Kate. “This weekend we play Boston but I don’t think we’re going to hang out after. Like, nothing official. Then we travel to Washington, but I’m not ready to start traveling with the team so I’ll be here. But the week after that, Kansas City is coming on Wednesday and a bunch of people want to get together after that game. Would you like to go to that game and hang out with us after?” 

“Yeah, that sounds good to me.” Kate answers. “What about after this week’s game? Going out?” 

Tobin shrugs. “I don’t know, Kate.” She looks down at her feet and then up again to scan the room and finally back to Kate. “I’m not sure how I’ll feel after the game. Would it be cool to play it by ear?” 

“Absolutely.” Kate nods. She realizes that it could be an emotional day for Tobin to go back to Providence Park to watch a match. She also knows Tobin tires out after dealing with her emotions preferring to shut down and usually sleep it off and then process it later. 

Kate studies Tobin, watching as she scrunches her lips up, her brow furrowed. Kate feels Tobin’s thinking about her appearance at the game and is maybe worrying about it. “Are you second guessing going to the game? Do you think you’re not ready yet?” 

“No,” Tobin says slowly. “I need to do this. I want to do this.” She takes a deep breath and slowly exhales. “It’s time for me to do this.” 

“Okay,” Kate nods and gives her a peek on the cheek. “Let’s go work on your wood panel for a bit, yeah?” She thinks it will be a good distraction. 

Tobin’s face lights up. “Yeah!” she says enthusiastically.


	25. Getting A Routine And Going To A Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin continues to make progress in her therapy, both physical and mental. Her and Kate are sorting out their daily lives as Kate goes back to work. Kate and Samson attend Tobin's first game to watch at Providence Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for joining me this far along. I think we've established the basis of Tobin and Kate's relationship so far. Now the plot will thicken moving forward. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Oh, I took some liberties of the game and who scored and all, ya know, for dramatic effect. Hope you like it.

“You’ve got everything?” Tobin asks her one last time as they open the door to leave. 

“Yes, dear.” Kate smiles. She’s opted to go in a little earlier and change into her uniform at work. 

“Your lunch?” Tobin asks anxiously. She’s nervous for Kate for some reason and wants her day to go as smoothly as possible. 

Kate holds up a lunch sack and wiggles it. “Let’s go, you’ll be late.” She orders as she lightly pushes Tobin out the door. 

Tobin hugs her and gives her a kiss. “I’ll see you later. Have a good day.” 

Kate kisses her back. “You too,” she says. “See you tonight.” 

They head to their cars and leave for their separate destinations. 

 

The first chance Tobin gets to look at her phone is at lunch and she sees a text from Kate. 

Kate: I’m a well-armed secretary. :/

Tobin grins as she replies. ‘I’d let you file my reports.’

Quickly the dots bubble up and a reply comes through. 

Kate: I’d like to defile you somewhere… 

Tobin grins as she types. ‘Maybe you’d like to frisk me tonight, ya know, stay in practice.’

Kate: I really want you to spread ‘em. 

Tobin blushes. She glances around to make sure nobody is watching her even though she is alone in the room. ‘You have the right to remain silent, but I know you can’t when I’m between your legs.’ 

Kate: Jesus, Tobin, you’re making me wet reading this. I’ll strip search you tonight. Gotta go. 

‘You do the same to me, babe. Have a good rest of the day!’ Tobin texts. She knows she’s blushing and she takes a deep breath. She’s got a weight lifting session next, then a massage, an ice bath and she’s done for the day. She can’t wait to see Kate tonight. She hopes she wears her uniform home. Reluctantly she gets up and wads up her garbage and heads out to begin her afternoon. 

Kate’s turned down multiple offers for getting a beer tonight, instead deferring them to agreeing to Friday night. The last half hour of her day is spent at a desk with her leg bouncing, anxious to leave. Her first day back is uneventful, processing reports and taking calls for detectives. The amount of people who made it a point to stop by her desk was overwhelming. Starting with Steve who explained her new duties and gave her a hug to other street officers she barely knew. Everyone showed genuine concern and were happy to her being back and doing so well. 

Tobin had everything ready to cook, she just wasn’t sure if Kate would be starving when she walked in or not. It would only take twenty minutes to have dinner ready so she opted to just wait. When she heard Kate’s car pull up, she met her at the door. 

“You are so hot.” Tobin states as Kate climbs the stairs still in her uniform. Tobin pulls her into a hug as she opens the door. Samson is next to her wagging his tail and talking to Kate. Kate goes to one knee to pet him and stands up wiping her cheek from the slobber. She takes Tobin’s hand and they enter the house. 

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be starving or not….” Tobin trails off as they reach the kitchen where Kate sees dinner is prepped. 

“Well,” she says in a low voice, “after those texts today, I wasn’t sure what I’d be greeted with at the door.” 

“Oh,” Tobin says, “oh!” as she blushes. Kate rubs her back as she passes her and heads to the fridge. “I’m having a beer to celebrate my first day. You want something?” 

“I’ll take a water.” Tobin says. “So, dinner now? It’ll be ready in twenty minutes.” 

“Yeah,” Kate agrees easily as she slides into the stool around the island. “I’ll wait for paybacks later,” she smirks as she takes a sip of her beer. 

Tobin shakes her head as she starts making their meal. A simple salmon dinner with fresh vegetables she picked from the garden. After she had gotten to Kate’s she took a quick nap, getting up long before she normally would. She was excited and anxious being here and making dinner. She wanted it to be nice for Kate. She had gone out to the garden and picked some fresh zucchini and tomatoes and noticed it could use some weeding. After getting the meal prepped, she and Samson went out and she got about half of it completed before seeing the time and knowing Kate would return soon. 

Kate tells her about her day as Tobin cooks. They continue chatting about what they each did through their meal and agree to go out to work on Tobin’s panel before they go for a run. They have the boards selected and Kate teaches Tobin how to properly sand the planks to bring out the grain. Working together they complete half of the planks done and then head in to change for their run. 

 

Feet moving together in time, they run down the trail to the lake. Both are grinning as they go, enjoying the moment. The circle the lake and head back both running at the same pace, enjoying the activity together. As they stretch to cool down on the grass near Kate’s patio, they grin again at each other. 

“I’ve missed this.” Tobin states as she stretches her hamstrings. 

“Yeah,” Kate says, “that felt good.” She stands up and places her feet on the first step to the patio, stretching her calves. Tobin stands next to her a moment later to do the same. 

“You know,” Tobin says, “I know something else that would make you feel really good.” She waggles her eyebrows at Kate. 

“Shower?” Kate grins. 

“Solid plan.” Tobin says as she smacks Kate’s ass as she heads up the stairs. 

Thursday morning finds Kate and Tobin rushing around to get out of the house on time after missing their alarms. They plan on Kate coming over to Tobin’s on Saturday before they head to the game and spend the weekend at her place. Neither look forward to sleeping alone and even though they’re only about twenty minutes away from each other, they’re having a hard time juggling their schedules to establish a routine. They had a serious discussion about it and it agree this would be best for now. 

Tobin’s meeting with Jen was emotional as they both cried over the DVD. Jen was in absolute shock of seeing what occurred and broke out her professional composure as soon as she saw Tobin in her office. After they both recovered from the tear soaked greeting, Jen was back to business. 

“Tobin, you know you should have absolutely no guilt over what happened to you.” Jen states as she folds her leg under herself on the couch. 

“I don’t think it’s so much as guilt over what happened as to guilt of how it made me feel sometimes.” Tobin whispers. She’s been thinking a lot of her talk with Kate on the deck a few days ago. 

“First off, the body will always respond physiologically to stimuli and that does include sexually. Secondly, you can’t feel guilty for experiencing what is normally pleasure in a non-normal situation. Just because you orgasmed during a rape doesn’t mean you weren’t still raped. You were held against your will, drugged and assaulted. None of that was on you.” 

Tobin nods. “You’re right.” 

“You told me you previously had never been, uh, penetrated before then, right?” Jen asks softly as Tobin nods again, blushing. 

“It’s not a bad thing if your body responded positively to that stimuli, Tobin.” She says gently. “It doesn’t make you dirty for discovery your body likes it. It doesn’t mean you have a kink or a fetish or anything like that. Sexuality is fluid and so is discovering what gets you off. Maybe eventually you would have been introduced to it through someone you were seeing down the line. Or maybe other people you know are into it a little.” 

Tobin is blushing furiously as Jen speaks. She’s not used to talking about sex so bluntly, at least not sitting fulling clothed in an office with another woman. In bed, she’s told whoever she’s been with what she likes and how she likes it. This is different. Plus, Jen knows Kate. It makes her uncomfortable. 

“Listen, women these days are proud about sex and what they like. I don’t mean, like, flaunting in the streets necessarily, but if they want to use a vibrator, they do, if they want to use a strap on and have a willing partner, they do. Sex toys are, like, Amazon’s top ten selling items. No shame, okay?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies, rubbing the back of her neck. “I think I just need to think about it more. Process it more.” 

“That’s good. Separate what you like sexually from what happened with Allison. Daydream about what you want. What it should look like.” Jen nods. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, warming up to the idea a little more, “maybe I’ll talk to-, uh, maybe we can talk about more.” She finishes looking down, knowing her blush has spread down her neck. 

Jen smiles. “Just think about it, okay? Positively. It’s okay to feel good about it.” 

 

Tobin and Kate find they rarely converse or text during the day except at lunch due to their schedules. They both know it’s their jobs but it doesn’t make it easier. On Friday Kate calls her as she heads to the bar where she’s meeting her co-workers. 

“This sucks,” she laments. “We need to think this over again.” 

“I agree.” Tobin smiles into the phone. “We should at least have dinner together each night.” 

“Why didn’t we think of that before?” Kate whines. 

“I don’t know.” Tobin says laughing. “Why don’t we rotate dinners during the week? And running together? I like running with you.” 

“Yeah,” Kate agrees. “Me too. We’ll figure it out. Are you excited about tomorrow? Going to the game?” 

“Yep.” Tobin answers quickly. Kate can hear the smile in her voice. 

“You’re sure you won’t get ambushed by the media?” Kate asks her again. She had brought it up yesterday and suggested Tobin speak with the Thorns PR people so no accidental media onslaught was had. She was a little surprised that Tobin had already thought about that possibility and had spoken to the Dave and the others to make her feelings known. 

She just wanted to make sure. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, her voice a little annoyed. “Dave asked me one last time if I wanted to do a quick presser but I shot him down. He knows I’m not ready. He’s just doing his job. It’ll be fine.” 

“Good.” Kate states. “I just don’t want you uncomfortable.” 

“I’ll be good, you’ll be there so I have no worries.” 

“Aren’t you sweet.” Kate smiles. “I’ve just pulled up. I’ve got to go.” 

“Have fun!” Tobin commands. 

“Yes ma’am.” Kate says as they close their call. 

 

 

“You ready for this?” Kate asks Tobin as they sit in the car. Tobin switches the engine off and looks at Kate. 

Tobin looks at Kate, her face solemn. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.” Kate replies and brings her hand to Tobin’s gripping it lightly. 

“Would you be offended if I introduce you some people as my friend?” Tobin asks softly. 

Kate shakes her head. They’ve talked about how out they want to be so this isn’t a surprise that Tobin’s asking her. “Not at all.” She squeezes her hand. 

“Would you be okay if I introduced you to some people as my girlfriend?” Tobin asks, a hint of a smile on her face. Kate smiles as she leans over to give her a quick kiss. 

“I would be honored.” She says. 

Tobin gives her a full smile as she takes a deep breath and releases it. “I wanted to ask for a while now.” 

“Well,” Kate says as she grabs the door handle, “I’m glad you did.” 

Still grinning, Tobin exits her vehicle and they walk side by side with Samson on his leash into the stadium. 

They made a quick visit to the locker room giving hellos and good lucks. The entire team swarmed around them and Samson was in his glory. As they were leaving, Sinc called to her. 

“Hey, Tobin!” 

She turned around to face her team. Sinc raises her right arm, hand balled into a fist. “This one is for you.” She says quietly. It’s then that Tobin notices the tape around Sinc’s wrist and the number seventeen written on it. Almost in unison, the rest of the players raise their arms to show the same. 

Tobin’s eyes begin to water at the sight and she gives them a wobbly smile as tears escape her eyes. “Thanks guys. Go get ‘em.” She says with a nod of her head. She leaves the room and wipes her eyes on her sleeve and taking a deep breath. 

Kate’s by her side in an instant, giving her a side hug as they both hear “1-2-3 For Tobin!” loudly yelled from the locker room as the team makes their way out for warm ups. Tobin looks at Kate and smiles taking her hand and walking down the corridor to the elevators. 

They’re standing in the Team Box overlooking the sellout crowd as the teams trot back onto the field for introductions. “This is incredible.” Kate murmurs beside her. Samson is sitting next to where they stand. When they entered the box, Gavin and Merritt were there to greet them. A few others from the staff were there happy to see Tobin and made small talk for a few minutes. 

They sit down near the front of the box on the aisle with Kate on the end so Samson can lay down. They hear a roar from the crowd and look around, not knowing what’s going on. 

The crowd is chanting something and suddenly Tobin and Kate realize what they’re saying. Tobin looks to her right and sees herself on the big screen. Kate grins at her and she grins back. 

“To-bin He-ath!” clap, clap, clapclapclap. “To-bin He-ath!” clap, clap, clapclapclap. The entire stadium is chanting and clapping and it just gets louder each time they say it.   
Kate elbows her and tells her to stand up and wave. Tobin bites her lower lip and slowly rises to her feet. She finds the camera that’s still trained on her, gives a tight lipped smile and a one-handed wave to the crowd. From where they’re sitting the noise is deafening. Tobin and Kate look down to see all of the players are doing the chant and clap with the crowd even the Breakers. She sits down and shakes her head at Kate as the whistle blows to start the game. 

She glances at the screen and thankfully, she’s not on it. Relieved, she takes a deep breath and quickly wipes her eyes with her sleeve. Her hands are shaking, the emotions are filling her up and she’s not sure what to do. She puts her elbows on her knees and clenches her hands together so they stop shaking while leaning forward to watch the game. Her knee is bouncing like crazy when she feels Kate’s hand on her back, rubbing it lightly. Kate says something Tobin can’t hear and suddenly Samson is in front of her begging for attention. 

She strokes his long fur as she watches them play, slowly realizing a calmness overcoming her. She turns to Kate and mouths a thanks. It’s now the tenth minute of the match and the crowd chanting her name as the Portland team drives towards to goal. Kling lofts a perfect ball to Allie who heads it in for a goal. 

The place erupts with cheers and as the Thorns gather to celebrate Tobin watches as they all raise their arms and point to the box Tobin is standing in. She gives a thumbs up that many return as they jog off to reset. 

“That was awesome!” Kate yells excitedly as they high five. They sit back down grinning as the crowd is still roaring. Smoke pours from the Riveters section and they can still hear Tobin’s name being chanted. 

Boston finds a way to confuse the defense in the fortieth minute and Weimer equalizes. At halftime the score remains tied as the players make their way to the locker rooms. Tobin and Kate stand to stretch their legs and get a drink and some fruit and cheese from the catering spread. 

Kate heads back to their seat while Tobin uses the bathroom and as she’s walking back, she sees two young girls looking at her through the glass door to the suite. She waves at them and they squeal and hold up their Thorns scarves asking for an autograph. Tobin smiles and opens the door. Stepping into the hallway she asks them for a pen. 

“My Mom said you were hurt, are you feeling better?” the younger of the two asks Tobin. 

“Yeah, I am,” Tobin replies as she signs her scarf. “Thanks for asking.” 

“I hope we get to see you play soon.” The older one says as she holds her scarf out. 

“I do too,” Tobin says as she signs it. “We’ll see what the doctors say.” 

“Thanks Tobin!” they yell as they run down the hall into another suite, chattering excitedly as they go. 

Tobin turns to enter the suite when a large hand pushes the door shut. She sees Clark, the reporter smirking at her. 

“How you doing Tobin?” he sneers. Tobin can smell liquor on his breath. 

“Uh, fine, thanks.” She says as she tries to open the door again. He puts more weight against it. 

“So what, getting over being fucked for a few days or was that rape some cover story for a kinky time gone wrong?” he smiles wickedly and leaning closer to her.   
Tobin can feel a fine sweat break out as she stands there, pondering what to do. 

“You know, I’ve got a nice big dick if you ever wanted to find out what it’s like to be with a real man,” he says as he looks her up and down. 

Tobin moves to pound on the door when she feels someone touch her back. She jumps back, startled to see Anne glaring at Clark as she gently pushes Tobin back against the wall and then lunges at Clark, pushing him away from the door. He clumsily staggers back, flailing his arms to find his balance. She grabs Tobin’s arm and hustles her through the door making sure it shuts behind them. She gestures to a security guard in the suite and animatedly tells him to document Clark being drunk and harassing Tobin. She still has her hand on Tobin’s arm as she guides her over to a high standing table in the corner to lean against. 

“Are you okay?” she asks quietly, not wanting to make a scene. 

“No,” Tobin replies with a shaky voice. She’s breathing heavy and can feel panic rising. Suddenly Samson is at her side, nuzzling her leg for attention and Kate is standing across from her. Tobin is shaking slightly and doing everything she can think of to calm herself. When her foot begins to twitch, she bites her lip so hard she thinks she might draw blood. 

“You’re safe. He can’t hurt you.” Kate says softly as she stands in front of Tobin running her fingers up and down Tobin’s arm across the small table. Tobin’s nodding as Kate repeats the phrase a couple of times. Her breathing is not as rapid and her twitch slows down as well. She looks around to see that Anne had guided her to corner table and her and Kate are effectively blocking anyone from seeing anything out of the ordinary. She doesn’t want to draw attention to herself having an issue. Not here. Not tonight. 

After taking several deep breaths, Tobin looks at Anne. “Thank you.” She says simply. 

Anne gives her a warm smile. “No problem Tobin. When I saw him leave the press box I followed him. I thought maybe he’d do something stupid especially after seeing you were here tonight.” She scowls, “I don’t get why he’s such an asshole to you.” 

“Well, thanks for following your gut.” Tobin states. “I appreciate it. I just froze, he scared me.” 

“That won’t happen again, I can assure you.” A man’s voice states laced with anger. It’s Gavin. “I saw the whole thing from across the room and couldn’t get to you quick enough.” 

He turns to Anne. “Is he drunk?” 

Anne nods sadly. Gavin grimaces and pulls his hands into fists. He looks at Tobin. “You’re pale. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods, “I’m good.” 

“Alright.” He says tight lipped and exits the room, cell phone pressed to his ear. 

“I wouldn’t want to be Clark when he finds him.” Kate murmurs. She rubs Tobin’s back. “You want to watch the game?” 

“Oh Anne!” Tobin smacks her forehead with her palm. “I’m so sorry, Anne, this is Kate, Kate this is Anne, my favorite reporter.” 

“Nice to meet you.” They say to each other and shake hands. 

“Thanks for rescuing Tobin,” Kate says gratefully. 

Anne grins, “I could say the same to you.” Kate nods. 

Anne looks at Tobin, “I’m gonna head back to the Press Box, okay? I’m sorry that Clark’s such an-“ 

Tobin waves her off. “It’s not your fault, I’m just super glad you came when you did. Thanks again.” 

As Anne heads for the door Tobin calls out to her. “Anne!” she turns around. “When I’m ready, I’d like to sit down with you first.” 

“Oh Tobin, you don’t have to do that,” she says. 

“Yeah, I do.” Tobin says taking a step closer to her. “I’ve thought about it for awhile now and I know it won’t be easy and I want to be with someone I trust and that’s you.” 

“Well, when you’re ready, I’ll be here and we’ll only talk about whatever you want to. I’ll send you a list of questions a few days in advance so there will be no surprises. No pressure. We’ll do it together at your pace. No pressure. And, I’ll video it myself and edit out anything you want.” 

“Thanks Annie.” Tobin says and gives her a hug. 

“No problem. I just want you to be comfortable.” She says and then she’s out the door. 

“She seems cool.” Kate says as they slowly walk back to the open air seats. 

“Yeah, she’s legit.” Tobin nods. The temperature has dropped about ten degrees as the sun went down. She rubs her arms to fight off the chills that started earlier. 

Tobin sits back down and Kate tells her she’ll be right back. As Tobin gets absorbed watching the still tied game Kate’s back nudging her arm while holding two coffee cups. 

“Here,” she gestures for Tobin to take one. 

“Thanks,” she says as she brings it to her lips. 

“It’s tea,” Kate warns, “I didn’t know if you wanted coffee this late.” 

“No, this is perfect, thanks.” Tobin smiles at her thoughtfulness. 

“I found this, too.” She says gesturing to her arm that has a blanket folded under it. She sits down and spreads the Thorns blanket over them both. 

She leans in towards Tobin, “Wanna be my snuggle bunny, girlfriend?” she smiles. 

“Absolutely,” Tobin grins and reaches for Kate’s hand under the blanket. 

In the fifty-eighth minute, Emily Menges sends a ball deep from the Thorns territory to midfield where Sinc chests it down, looks up and sees the Breakers’ goalie is way off her line. Sinc launches the ball deep and the entire stadium holds their breath as they watch Smith struggle to get back in position as the ball comes down. It hits the tips of her fingertips and bounces into the goal. The place goes crazy, red smoke pours out again and as the team mob Sinc in celebration. Sinc turns to the box and raises her arm and the team does as well, again pointing to Tobin. Kate and Tobin had left their seats as soon as the ball was struck, watching with mouths open, willing it to go in. Tobin raises her arm in return and they return to position to restart. 

“Holy shit!” Kate exclaims as they sit back down. “That was just like Carli’s in the World Cup!” 

Tobin is grinning as she faces Kate, “Yeah, that was crazy!” 

Before the crowd can even settle down, Emily Sonnett clears a ball high up and Allie passes it Lindsey who drills a shot from the eighteen yard mark into the back of the net. She spins and runs to the middle of the field with her arm raised and pointing her other at the box. The team swarms her as they celebrate. 

After that, it’s as if the Thorns were sharks smelling blood in the water. They were aggressive with their coverage and defense moving the ball sharply to set up plays. Kling runs down the sideline with the ball and boots it up to Amandine who gives a back pass to Sinc who drives to the box. She’s brought down and the ref indicates a penalty kick. 

Tobin and Kate are back on their feet watching as Sinc places the ball down on the marker and stares down the keeper. She takes three short steps and nails it high into the right upper 90 as the goalie falls to her left. Sinc runs towards the Thorns bench and raises her arm with the team following behind. The Thorns subs are on the sideline with their fists raised as well. 

Kate gives Tobin a side hug. “You okay?” she asks withdrawing her arm as they sit down. Samson squirms his way in to sit at Tobin’s feet, looking back over his shoulder as if to tell her to pet him. She runs her hand down his back and scratches his head. 

“Yeah,” she shakes her head, “this is so crazy.” 

“I think your presence here lit a fire for them.” Kate opines. 

Tobin shrugs as she continues to watch. Boston is building a play and close to the box, Sonnett gets tripped up and Tiffany Weimer on Boston shoots only for Franch to lay out and make a diving save. Franch clears it quickly to Amandine who fakes out her defender and passes wide to Kling who lofts another beauty into the box for Sinc to head in for a hat trick. They all hop up and down with their arms raised celebrating.

The official indicates two minutes of stoppage time but the Thorns do not slow down their play. They get a free kick just outside the box and Nadia Nadim spins it into the box when Allie comes charging in on a late run to head it on. She takes off running to just in front of the Team Box with her arm raised, teammates trailing behind her. She slides on her knees while looking up and shooting off finger pistols. Tobin is standing and returns fire with a huge smile on her face. The crowd starts chanting ‘Harry! Harry! Harry!’ as they celebrate.

A moment later the whistle blows and it’s over. The crowd is loud in victory and before they shake hands with the Breakers, Sinc leads the entire team in front of the Team Box where they all raise their fists in salute to Tobin. Tobin responds by joining her hands and making a heart with her fingers back to them. She realizes she’s on the Jumbotron and everyone can see her as she struggles to keep it together. The Thorns move off to shake hands and assemble for cool down. 

Shakily, Tobin sits back down and pets Samson slowly. Kate is quiet next to her for a moment. She sees Tobin’s knee bouncing and she’s taking some deep breaths trying to settle down. Kate sees Tobin struggling so she grabs her hand and pulls her up. 

“Come on,” she commands as she leads her and Samson to the bathrooms. Thankfully it’s empty but she leads them into the handicap stall just in case. She doesn’t want any strangers walking in on this private moment. She pulls Tobin into a hug and feels the sobs begin to start. Kate just hugs her tightly and hums a song softly as she sways slowly with Tobin in her arms. 

“Just let it go,” Kate croons into Tobin’s ear, “it’s okay.” 

It takes nearly five minutes for Tobin to calm down and control her breathing. Her breath still hitches a little and she flinches from it slightly as if surprised. She finally looks at   
Kate. “I’m a wreck,” she says, her lower lips still trembling. 

“It’s okay,” Kate smiles at her, gently wiping away Tobin’s tears with a piece of toilet paper. “I think this is a pretty normal reaction to something pretty extraordinary.” 

Tobin rolls off some toilet paper to blow her nose. She takes a few more deep breaths and gives Kate a lopsided smile. “Thank you for being here with me tonight.” She leans in and kisses her softly. 

“I’m so happy I witnessed it.” Kate smiles back at her. “I’m going to get you a water, you want to stay in here with Samson?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods her head as she squats to pet him, murmuring to him. 

Kate retrieves a water bottle from the fridge and as she walks back to the bathroom, Gavin intercepts her. “Is she alright?” he asks her, concern etched across his face. 

“Yeah.” Kate nods, “A little overwhelmed, but she’s alright.” 

Gavin nods, his face tense. “Clark was escorted from the stadium. He refused a ride from us. He refused an Uber from us. He refused an offer to drive his car home for him from us. He struggled with one of our security guards who tried to take away his keys.” 

“Mean drunk,” Kate murmurs. 

“Yes.” Gavin says. “He was issued a DWI about one hundred yards out of the parking lot.” Gavin clears his throat. “We already issued a statement that his Press Credentials have been revoked from all Thorns and Timbers coverage and he is banned from the stadium.” 

Kate looks at him. “Did you-“ 

“No.” Gavin says, shaking his head. “We didn’t mention anything about the DWI. We kept it all about professional conduct. That’s for someone else to talk about. There were some other reporters hovering around when it went down. I’m positive there’s video.” 

“Okay, I’ve got to get back-“ Kate starts, tilting her head towards the bathroom. 

“Go,” Gavin shoos her away, “Wanted to give you a heads up. Take care of her.” 

Kate enters the bathroom to find Tobin splashing water on her face. She hands her the water and Tobin opens it and chugs half of it. 

“Better?” Kate asks, rubbing her back. 

“Much,” Tobin gives her a genuine smile. “Thanks.” 

“Okay,” Kate replies. “Three things.” she holds up her fingers. “One: are you going to see them in the locker room?”

Tobin bites her upper lip and slowly shakes her head. “I don’t think so. I think I’ll lose it again if I see them.” 

“That’s fine, why don’t you text Sinc and Allie or whoever to let them know.” Kate suggests. 

“I already did,” Tobin smiles. Kate can hear Tobin’s phone blowing up with messages. 

“I sent the whole team a message and then let Allie, Sinc, Kling, Lindsey and Emily know I wasn’t feeling up to seeing them after.” She pauses a moment. “Or going out tonight to celebrate.” She adds quietly. 

“Okay,” Kate nods, “You already took care of thing number two: going out tonight.” 

“I mean, if you want to go out” Tobin starts. 

“No,” Kate shakes her head. “This is your deal and how you need to handle it. I’d push if I thought you needed it or something. But this is fine. It’s absolutely, one hundred percent okay. Full disclosure.” 

Tobin takes another drink of water. “What’s number three?” 

“I’ll tell you in the car.” Kate says as she hooks her arm in Tobin’s. “Ready?” 

“Why can’t you tell me now?” Tobin asks her as she laces her fingers with Kate’s. 

“Too many ears here.” Kate says quietly. Tobin nods and quirks an eyebrow. “Full disclosure?” 

Kate smiles, “Full disclosure, in the car.”

“Let’s get out of here.” Tobin says and leads Kate out of the bathroom. They take the private elevator down and peek around corners as they near the Player’s Exit. As they turn the last corner, Tobin bumps into someone. 

“I’m so sorry!” Tobin exclaims. She sees it’s Annie again. 

“Oh Tobin!” Annie exclaims. “And Kate!” she looks around the corner where they were heading. “Listen, you don’t want to go this way, they set up media over here for some reason.”

Tobin sucks in air through her teeth as her eyes dart around. She doesn’t know this side of the stadium like the back of her hand since they switched everything. 

Annie senses it. “The employee exit over there is just half a lot over. You guys should be fine going that way.” 

“Thank you so much.” Kate says as she nudges Tobin. 

“Yeah, thanks!” Tobin shakes her head. 

“Go!” Annie says pushing Tobin softly in the right direction. 

They get about ten yards outside when they hear a man’s voice calling her name. Tobin stops, her body tense as she slowly turns around. 

“I thought that was you.” An older gentleman says from his golf cart. He’s got a yellow security vest on. 

“Hi Mr. Arnold.” Tobin smiles. 

“Hey kid, glad to see you.” He says. “Can I give you a lift to your car?” 

“Oh man, that would be great.” Tobin replies. 

“Hop in.” He urges. Samson licks his hand. “Who’s this doggie?” he asks as Kate leads him into the back seats. 

“This is Kate and her dog Samson.” Tobin introduces. 

“Nice to meet you both.” Mr. Arnold says as he guides them through the Player Lot. “Here you are, right?” he asks as they stop next to Tobin’s car. 

“Yes, this is it,” Tobin shakes his hand as she gets out. “Thank you so much, we really appreciate it.” 

“No problem,” he replies easily. “Next time you need a lift, just call Security and ask. We’ll meet you at whatever door you want. Games or practice or whatever you’re here for.” 

"Thanks Mr. Arnold," Tobin replies. 

“Thank you, sir.” Kate says as she gets herself and Samson out. 

“Take care ladies,” he says as he drives off. 

Kate sticks her hand out for the keys and Tobin shrugs and gives them to her. Samson gets in back and they get in as well. Kate starts the car and they head the short distance back to Tobin’s place with Tobin giving her directions. 

Tobin had told her how she used to enjoy walking from her apartment to the park but when she became more well known, she had to stop due to fans badgering her along the way. They had actually traced back to where Tobin’s apartment was and began hounding her and waiting for her at all hours of the day and night. She had had a couple of close calls with some rather overzealous fans that scared her and was forced to move. Since Allie and Kling had also lived in the same building with her, the Thorns helped them all relocate into a better building with great security that was a little further away. 

That made Kate sad and a little angry that Tobin was forced to live like that. It helped her understand why Tobin didn’t like the spotlight and generally shied away from public events. 

As they pulled in to the parking garage of her building, Tobin lays her hand over Kate’s that’s on the gear shift when she put the car Park. Kate looks at her. “What’s three?” Tobin asks with her eyebrows raised. 

Kate sighs and shifts to turn and face Tobin. “You remember how Gavin said he saw the whole thing with you and Clark?” Tobin nods. “Well,” Kate goes on to tell her about how Gavin met her when she went for the water and what had transpired. 

Tobin just nods as they leave the car for her apartment. They’re quiet as they enter the elevator and Tobin turns to Kate after she presses the button for her floor. “Some of the girls call him ‘Clark the Snark’ because he always has this way of criticizing the team and players even when we win. Last year he bashed the Thorns for their video of our team bonding trip.” 

She backs up to lean against the wall. “He never can just write an article without making it something negative.” 

“I know,” Kate agrees quietly. “He wrote an article about how Stand Together Week was just people getting out of work to goof off and our projects we sponsored were stupid.” 

“It’s a shame.” Tobin sadly shakes her head as she yawns. “It’s likely he’ll lose his job.” She sighs. “I hope he can turn himself around.” 

Tobin’s phone pings again as they make their way into her place. She yawns and stretches and gives Kate a sleepy smile. 

“I’m going to take Samson out for a quick walk,” Kate says, “why don’t you head to bed, Mavourneen? You look exhausted.” 

“I’ll wait up.” Tobin says as she gives Kate a quick kiss. Kate grabs a plastic bag from one of the lower kitchen cabinets which Tobin insisted on putting there so Kate didn’t have to continue bringing her own over. She leads Samson out shutting the door as Tobin heads for her room. 

When Kate returns twenty minutes later. She finds Tobin passed out in bed. She’s lying on her stomach with her pillow under her chest, her head draped over it onto the mattress. Her glasses are crooked on her face, her journal is laying under her head and her hand still loosely holds her pen. The journal is open but the page is blank. 

Kate leaves her to do her own nightly ritual and change for bed even though it’s only about ten thirty. She retrieves the last group of staff files from the Thorns and her notebook. She takes a quick photo of Tobin before she carefully removes her glasses, the journal and pen. She leaves her lay in place, figuring she’ll get her more comfortable when she actually goes to sleep for the night. 

She texts the photo to Allie and Sic saying how they wore Tobin out and what a great game they had. 

She slides in bed slowly even though she thinks she could jump on the mattress and Tobin wouldn’t even move. She opens her last batch of files and begins to read. When she looks at the clock and sees it’s almost midnight, she closes the file and puts her notebook and pen on it and lays it on the nightstand with her glasses. She turns off the light and gently nudges Tobin as she snuggles under the covers. 

“Asthore,” she says quietly, pulling on Tobin’s arm a bit, “move the pillow under your head,” 

Tobin doesn’t reply, her arm limp in Kate’s hand. Kate releases her grip on her arm and gently tugs the pillow up so it’s somewhat under Tobin’s head. Tobin mumbles incoherently pulling the pillow up more and sighing deeply. 

Kate rolls to her side to face Tobin and lays her hand on her back, gently rubbing as she drifts off to sleep, content Tobin won’t awake tomorrow with a stiff neck.


	26. Quite The Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin and Kate get into a routine. Something happens at Providence Park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all ready for this story to pick up a little? 
> 
> Thanks so much for the kudos- so appreciated. Love the comments and feedback. Spurs me on. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

“Yeah, it’s official!” Tobin grins as she bends down to look in a cabinet. She’s on the phone with Alex as she’s looking for her rice maker. It’s not in its normal spot. 

“So, who asked who?” Alex asks. 

“I asked her and she said yes.” Tobin answers. 

“Happy for ya, Tobs,” Alex says excitedly. “She seems pretty cool and very good for you.” 

“That she is,” Tobin replies as she inspects a third cabinet. Sinc had it out a few weeks ago, but she thought she used it last week. Where could it be, she wonders. 

“What are you doing?” Alex asks realizing Tobin is distracted. 

“I’m trying to find my rice cooker.” Tobin whines. 

“Isn’t it in the bottom cabinet on the left side?” Alex wonders. 

“No, it should be but it isn’t.” Tobin responds, wondering how Alex knows that. “Forget it, I’ll make more veggies.” She opens her freezer. On the second shelf is her rice maker. 

“What the fuck?” she says softly. 

“Find it?” Alex asks. 

“Uhm, yeah,” Tobin replies as she takes it out and sets it on the counter. “It was in my freezer.” 

“That’s weird.” Alex says, her voice concerned. 

“Remember when I told you about those things moving and my mismatched shoes?” Tobin asks. 

“I was just thinking of that.” Alex says quietly. 

“I changed my lock.” Tobin says as she picks up the phone, taking it with her to her couch as she sits down. “Kate suggested it. She thought maybe someone was coming in and messing around.” 

“As great of a joke that is, Kling wouldn’t do that to you, not right now.” Alex reasons. 

“Kate thought maybe more like a stalker.” Tobin says quietly. 

“Oh,” is all Alex can say. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs. 

“Powder your floor by the door just as you come in, take a photo of it and then when you get home, you’ll see if it’s any different.” Alex suggests. 

“That’s an idea.” Tobin nods. “I’ll let security know too, in the building and at the park.” Tobin replies. 

“It could be just a weird thing, Tobs,” Alex assures, “Don’t let it worry you too much,” 

“I won’t,” Tobin says as she looks around her apartment, eyes scanning looking for anything out of place, “it’s just kind of creepy.” 

They’re silent for a moment. 

“So,” Alex says slowly. “That game against the Breakers was something else.” She says, changing the subject.

“Yeah, I was so proud of them.” Tobin says, “They played so well. Sinc was on fire, Allie too.” 

“I wasn’t just talking about the game. That whole stadium, Tobs, they love you. I was crying when I saw it.” Alex states. 

“It was pretty overwhelming.” Tobin says quietly. 

“It made SportsCenter.” Alex says. “That’s huge.” 

“I was on the phone most of the next day returning calls.” Tobin says. It’s Sunday night and Kate left an hour ago. “So many people called to touch base and see how I was doing.”

“Any surprises?” 

“Oh yeah, I talked to Hope for almost an hour. She’s doing really good. Says she’s toying with the idea of Italy but she’s not positive yet.” 

“That would be good for her. She’s got gas in the tank still.” 

“But she knows she’ll never put on a National Team jersey again. She joked that part of her wants to somehow get dual citizenship so she can beat us.” Tobin laughs. 

“Could you imagine the shitshow that would cause?” Alex wonders, laughing. 

“Yeah!” Tobin laughs. “That would fry Jill’s brains.” 

“Who else?” 

“Abby, Dawn, Lori Lindsey, Boxxy, Anson, Sermanni, LePeilbet, Mia Hamm, Mittsy, Foudy, both of who just wanted to make sure I was good and not wanting interviews, oh, uh, somehow Messi got my number.” Tobin answers. 

“No way!” 

“Way!” 

“Oh, and you know who else? I talked to her for almost two hours.” Tobin says. 

“Who?” Alex asks. 

“Pia,” Tobin smiles. 

“Really?” Alex says excitedly. “How is she?” 

“Doing good.” Tobin says. “Do not repeat this but she’s leaving Sweden soon.” 

“No!” Alex exclaims. 

“Yeah, she loves the team, hates the politics.” Tobin shares. 

“Did she say what she’s thinking? You know she’s always three steps ahead of what she’s doing.” 

“Maybe NWSL, maybe talking to USA Soccer.” Tobin says quietly. 

“Could you imagine if she came back to the National Team?” Alex says. “We’d be unstoppable. With our front line, she’d have a field day.” 

“Yeah, it would be pretty sweet if it happens.” Tobin admits. “But there’s reality.” 

“I know, I know,” Alex sighs, “but we’d actually run plays that work on corner kicks and Lindsey and Allie would be scoring machines.” 

“Al, let’s not get crazy,” Tobin warns.

“And our defense, well, Kreigs can still tear it up, her, Sonnett, Broon, Kelley, we’d be tight.” 

Tobin sighs. 

“You’d never get stuck playing defense.” Alex sighs. “I swear, I almost lost my shit when she-“

“Aaall,” Tobin drags out her name, her tone warning. 

Alex sighs. “Let a girl dream a little, would ya?” Alex pleads. 

“This was your ears only, got it?” Tobin states. 

“My lips are sealed.” Alex promises and Tobin knows that’s true. She won’t say anything. “Alright, I gotta go,” Alex says, “be safe, okay?” 

“I will.” Tobin answers. 

“If anything is scary, run. Just leave.” Alex advises, her voice tinged with concern. 

“I will.” Tobin agrees. “Oh, I will.” 

 

 

Tobin and Kate settle into their routines during the week, alternating days and one or two nights at each other’s homes. Running together, dinners, make out sessions leading to sex to leading to an unintended sleepover occur. They mesh. They’re in sync. They both just like being with each other. Quiet nights of Kate reading and Tobin journaling or reading as well. Loud evenings of playing X-Box or cards. Taking Samson for walks. Tobin anticipating Kate’s needs and her likewise. 

Kate took Tobin to meet Jaime and Mara and their parents at their soccer game on Wednesday night. They were star struck to meet Tobin. When Tobin gave them each their own jerseys and scarves, they were speechless. The whole team was falling over themselves for photos and autographs. Tobin had cleared it with the Thorns staff and was able to offer the team tickets in a suite for the game against the Courage. It was a wonderful night and Tobin was so happy Kate had suggested going.   
The two of them enjoyed their first official date night on Friday by going to dinner and seeing Kate’s band play at Jake’s bar. She joined them onstage for three songs and the crowd loved it. Tobin loved it too, she could watch Kate sing forever. She always enjoys seeing bands perform live but when you know someone, it makes it a completely different experience. 

It’s the middle of June and Tobin can’t believe how time is flying by. Her training has increased, she’s actually out getting touches on the ball with the team. Just shooting drills for now, no scrimmages or running plays. Her endurance is improving and she started lifting again. It felt good to be back in the gym. 

Her and Kate are doing really well. They continue to dine almost every night together, including their friends once or twice a week. Kate’s been dragging Tobin to the batting cages in preparation for her return to play softball. Tobin enjoys it although she makes contact with the ball, she realizes softball is not her sport. 

They finished and installed her wood panel last week and spent the evening just looking at it. It turned out fantastic and Tobin learned so much about woodworking. The living room was transformed by the piece. Everyone who came over commented how awesome it was. They’ve already measured out the shelves to put up and will start those soon. 

Kate’s been working out heavily and increased her running in preparation for her evaluation. She maintains that she’s doing well and keeps a positive attitude about it. Tobin knows she’s nervous and Tobin herself has mixed emotions about it. 

The other night Jen and Liz came over for dinner and Tobin was trying to catch Kate’s attention by waving her hand to the left of Kate and she didn’t notice. Liz saw it happen and saw how Tobin’s shoulders slumped for a moment realizing Kate’s peripheral vision still wasn’t what it should be. Liz didn’t speak of it but the glance she gave Tobin said it all.   
Tobin opted not to mention it to Kate because the last time she did, Kate was defensive. Tobin let it go, because she didn’t want to fight about it. Maybe that was cowardly, she didn’t know, but she didn’t want to upset Kate. She’s not a fan of confrontation, never has been. She figures a better time will come for a conversation to be had with cooler heads. 

 

It’s a Monday morning when Tobin gets to her locker to change into her workout clothes and get started. She pulls the shirt from the hanger and notices a piece of paper inside her locker. She reaches in to grab it and before her fingers touch it she stops. She peers in and her mouth drops open. She backs away quickly, her head swiveling in all directions, bumping into Allie behind her. 

“What’s wrong?” Allie asks, coming in to get dressed as well. 

“That!” Tobin points to her locker. 

Allie looks in and back to Tobin. “Who put that there?” 

Tobin shakes her head. She can feel her breathing increase and she’s trying her best to calm down. Allie calls out to Sinc to come over. 

“What’s up?” Sinc asks, her face questioning upon seeing Tobin so pale. “What’s wrong?’ 

“Look in her locker.” Allie commands. Sinc does and as she reaches to touch the paper, Allie grabs her hand. “We shouldn’t touch anything. We need to get John from Security.” Sinc nods and tells everyone to stop changing and go to the meeting room now. Slowly and confusedly the rest of the team does as told. 

Sinc jogs off to find the security team. 

Alllie sits Tobin down in a chair a few spaces away from her locker. Tobin’s biting her upper lip, her knee bouncing as she rubs her sweaty palms against her jeans. 

“It’s okay, it’s just a sick joke Tobin.” Allie comforts. Tobin nods but doesn’t say anything. 

Her panic level is rising and she is doing everything she can to stop it. But someone got in to her locker and placed a photoshopped picture of her and Allison there for her to see. She can feel a cold sweat break out and her stomach is doing acrobatics. She’s trying to control her breathing and count backwards from one hundred to fight off the nausea.   
Tobin jumps when the locker room door bangs open and John storms in on a run with Sinc behind him. A few other security guards are with them. 

“What happened?” John asks. 

Tobin takes a deep breath and releases it. “I, I, went to gr-grab my sh-sh-shirt and s-s-s-s-saw it.” She stutters in an uneven voice, pointing at her locker. John walks over to it and looks in. He turns around quickly with a frown on his face. “Lisa,” he gestures to one of the female security officers, “please call Detective Bauer at PPB. Tell him we need him here now.” 

“Mike,” he points to the other one guard, “Please call Sam in the office to come here.” Mike nods and leaves quickly.   
“I don’t f-f-feel so g-g-good,” Tobin mumbles as she lurches from her chair and heads to the bathroom. Allie is right behind her as she drops to her knees in front of the toilet and vomits. Tobin has her eyes shut as she continues to wretch. She’s shaking and can feel the tears starting as her body purges her last couple of meals. Sinc appears next to Allie and   
Robin is now standing in the background. Sinc gives Allie a towel and a water bottle and turns to face Mark who just came in. She walks him to a corner and quietly speaks with him. 

When Tobin kneels back, Allie wordlessly hands her the towel and she wipes her face. Then uses the water to rinse her mouth out and spit a few times. She leans back on her heels and puts her head in her hands, breathing deeply. She turns to look up at Allie, her tear filled eyes wide and panicked. “What is going on?” she cries out. 

“Come on,” Allie says quietly, hooking her arm under Tobin’s and helping her get up. Tobin stumbles from the stall and Allie wraps her in hug. 

“You did all that work to make it safe.” Tobin cries, “now this happens.” 

Allie and Robin instantly know what Tobin means. Switching locker rooms, repainting, moving everything so Tobin would feel safe and now that sanctity has been violated. Allie gives Robin a pleading look. She doesn’t know what to say or do. 

A wave of exhaustion washes over Tobin and she feels her legs go weak. Allie feels it as well and tightens her grip to hold Tobin up. “Woah, woah, woah!” Allie says, surprised as she takes on Tobin’s weight. 

Robin comes to the left side of Tobin and snakes her arm under her shoulder and Allie does the same as they lead her out to the corridor. Robin leads them quickly to her office and Allie and Tobin sit on the couch. Tobin’s crying softly, clinging to Allie who has her arms around her murmuring quietly. Tobin’s foot is twitching rapidly and she’s shaking. Robin exits the room quietly. 

“They’ll figure this out, Tobin.” Allie says quietly. “Someone’s doing this to you. Allison is dead. She can’t hurt you. This is someone else.” Tobin nods as her tears lessen. They don’t speak for a few minutes and Allie can feel Tobin’s grip on her weaken as her body relaxes. 

“I’ve got you,” she soothes, hugging her tighter. 

“Tired,” Tobin mumbles, eyes shut. 

“Just rest, I’m here.” Allie says. “I’m not going anywhere.” She rubs Tobin’s back. 

Sinc slips in the office quietly, looking concerned. “Detectives are here, they’re going to fingerprint everything. Practice is delayed for a few hours. Everyone is going home.” 

“Tobin?” Allie calls out, gently shaking her arm. Her eyes flutter open and she looks up. “Hhhmm?” 

“Do you want to come to my place or go home?” she asks. 

“Sleep,” she responds closing her eyes again. 

Allie looks up at Sinc. “We’ll go to my place.” She says. “It has puppies.” 

Sinc nods. “I’ll pull my car up to the exit, meet you in five?” Allie nods as Sinc leaves the room. 

“Why am I so tired?” Tobin asks looking up at Allie. Allie can see the fear in Tobin’s eyes. 

“I don’t know, maybe it’s your body shutting down from stress or something.” Allie reasons. 

“Hm,” Tobin says as she attempts to get up from the couch. Her legs wobble a little and Allie brings her hand under Tobin’s elbow to steady her. Allie studies Tobin as they slowly leave Robin’s office. She’s pale and still shaky but her foot has stopped twitching. Allie pops the exit door open to find Sinc’s SUV on the sidewalk instead of the street. Sinc is standing next to an open passenger door with John from security. 

Allie helps Tobin into the vehicle and gets in the back seat. John leans into the open passenger door to speak to Tobin. “We’re going to review our cameras and find out who did this, okay?” he says quietly as Tobin nods. “The Police took the photo away and will be analyzing it. If you don’t feel safe at your house, you let me know, we’ll put you up in a hotel or have you stay with someone, you hear?” 

“Yeah.” Tobin says as she yawns. “Thanks, John.” 

“Get some rest,” he says as he pulls back and shuts the door. 

The ride to Allie’s place is quiet, music playing softly. 

Tobin’s steadier on her feet when they arrive and Allie immediately leads her to the couch. “I’m not letting you out of my sight,” she explains when Tobin suggests laying in the guest bedroom. Kass and Shay greet them enthusiastically and crawl all over them. Soon, Tobin is kicking off her shoes and snuggling the pillow Allie brought her. Tobin’s out before Sinc can cover her with a blanket. 

Sinc and Allie are in the kitchen speaking quietly. “You think she’s gonna want to come back for practice?” Sinc asks. 

“I honestly have no clue.” Allie shrugs. “I’ve never seen her like this.” 

“What do you mean?” Sinc’s eyebrows are raised. 

“Since everything happened, it’s like, I don’t know, her emotions can overtake her and then she, like shuts down and passes out.” Allie shrugs. “She’s never reacted to stress like that before. She would have slept through the whole Olympics.” 

“Well, she was repeatedly shocked, like, maybe that has something to do with it. Maybe the stress from what she went through wired her brain differently.” Sinc tilts her head. “Do you think you should talk to her about it?” 

Allie shakes her head. “I don’t even know how to have that conversation.” The two are silent as they look at the sleeping form on the couch. 

“We should call Kate,” Sinc says abruptly. She’s sitting on the floor petting Kass. Shay had jumped on the couch and curled up at Tobin’s feet. 

Allie nods. “Good idea. I’ll text her to call me when she has a chance.” She grabs her phone. 

Allie’s phone chirps a few moments later. It’s Kate. Allie stands up and heads to her room to tell her what’s going on. When she returns about fifteen minutes later, Sinc is looking in her fridge for a snack. 

“What’d she say?” Sinc asks as she grabs an apple off the kitchen counter. Allie sits at the kitchen table and Sinc sits down across from her. 

“Concerned. Very concerned.” Allie says quietly. “She’s meeting John in a bit to review some files, she read through all of the background checks they gave Tobin. She has some questions and wants to talk to him about it.” 

“Oh, wow.” Sinc says. “I’m not surprised, though. She’s a good cop and if my girlfriend was going through something like this, I’d be all over it too.” She continues munching her apple. “I really like her. She’s so good for Tobin.” 

“I know,” Allie agrees. “At first I wasn’t sure. I thought maybe they were going too fast. But, they just click.” 

They’re silent for a moment. 

“Yeah, so I’ll let her know if Tobin’s coming to practice later or what.” Allie says as she looks over at the couch. She frowns. She feels awful Tobin is going through this now, just when everything is starting to come together. 

“I swear, if someone on the team thought this would be funny-“ Allie mutters angrily. 

“Allie,” Sinc cuts her off, “do you seriously think anyone on the team would do something like this? I mean, come on, everyone loves Tobin.” 

Allis sighs and looks at Sinc. “You’re right, but, I mean. I, I’m just so angry this is happening.” 

“I know, I am too,” Sinc says quietly. She finishes her apple and checks the time. “You want to eat lunch here or at the Park?” 

“Maybe we should wake her up and see what she wants to do.” Allis says, getting up and kneeling next to Tobin by the couch. 

“Harry,” she says quietly as she rubs Tobin’s back. “Harry, it’s time to get up.” Tobin moans and scrunches her eyes and sighs loudly. “Come on. Harry,” Allie pushes her shoulder   
lightly, “time to get up.” 

Tobin’s eyes flutter open and she blinks rapidly looking at Allie. She squints a little and raises her head. “Hey,” she says groggily. 

“Hey,” Allie smiles. “You want something to eat?” 

“I don’t know,” Tobin answers truthfully. “I don’t think I’m awake yet.” She pushes herself up from the couch and slides over to sit up. She rubs her faces in her hands and looks up at Allie and then sees Sinc. “Hey,” she greets her. 

“Hey Tobin,” Sinc gives her a small smile. 

Tobin scratches her neck as she looks around bringing her gaze back to Allie. “How long was I out?” she mumbles. 

“Couple hours,” Allie says leaving her knees and sitting next to her. “It’s almost lunch time. Do you want to eat here or do you want to go back to the Park?” 

“Uh,” Tobin pauses as she remembers the events of the morning. “Can I think about it for a minute?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Allie says squeezing Tobin’s shoulder as she gets up from the couch. 

“Do you know what happened after we left?” Tobin asks quietly. 

Sinc and Allie explain what happened after they left. Allie also tells her about calling Kate and Kate meeting with John. 

“So we agreed we’d let her know your plan when you woke up.” Allie finishes. 

“Thanks for letting her know,” Tobin says sincerely. “I appreciate it.” 

“How’s your stomach feel?” Sinc asks her. 

“Alright,” Tobin replies, “it’s not jumpy or anything.” She takes deep breath and looks at the two women. “We should probably head out for practice, huh?” She stands up and stretches her arms above her head. 

“You sure?” Sinc asks. 

“Yep.” Tobin says casually over her shoulder as she walks down the hall to the bathroom. Allie and Sinc give each other doubtful, confused looks. 

Allie and Sinc are still sitting there when Tobin comes back and sits on the couch to put on her shoes. They’re just looking at her. 

“Are you sure?” Allie finally asks. 

 

Tobin nods as she slips on her right shoe. She looks at them with determination. “I’m not letting some psycho stop me. I trust John and Kate.” 

She stands and looks at them. “Let’s go,” she says, “I’m getting hungry.” 

Allie and Sinc follow her out. 

 

Practice has just finished for Tobin and she’s walking to the sidelines to get a drink before heading into the training room for an ice bath. She looks up when she hears a laugh she recognizes and sees Kate by the player field entrance with John. He’s obviously telling her a dramatic, funny story by the way he uses his arm and hand making large gestures. Kate is clearly amused as she smiles and listens. 

Kate’s in her uniform with her backpack slung over one shoulder and John is holding some files in his right hand. As Tobin approaches, Kate sees her. 

“Hey you!” she says, her eyebrows raised behind her mirrored sunglasses. 

“Hey,” Tobin smiles. Kate leans in for a hug. Tobin pulls back. “I’m all sweaty!” she protests.   
“I don’t care.” Kate says and gives her a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“How ya doing John?” Tobin asks. 

“Good,” he says eying her seriously. “How about you?” 

“I was shook up but better now.” Tobin nods. 

“Good.” He says, shifting the files in his hands. “Listen,” he says, “we’re still reviewing our cameras. We obviously don’t have them in the locker room but we’re looking at the entrance door. As soon as we know something, I’ll let you know.” 

“Okay,” Tobin nods again. 

“The PPB took the photo and dusted your locker and surrounding areas for finger prints. They’re running them through their lab. That could take a couple of days. In the meantime, are you sure you want to stay at your place? We can get you a hotel or something.” He says eying them both. 

“I’m fine at my place.” Tobin states. “Nothing’s happened there recently except that rice cooker thing, but if I feel weird or anything I’ll get out of there.” 

“Alright.” John agrees reluctantly. “We could assign you a body guard if you-“ 

“You don’t think it’s come to that yet, do you?” Tobin asks, eyes wide. 

“Not yet, but for you comfort-“ John starts. 

“I’m fine.” Tobin says. “Really, if something happens, you’re on my speed dial.” 

“Okay,” John nods. “You let me know.” He turns to Kate. “Thanks for everything. I’ll get back to you.” 

He nods to Tobin and walks off.

Tobin says and turns to Kate. “Do you have to get back?” 

“No, I’m done for the day.” Kate grins. 

“I gotta take an ice bath and then I’m done too.” Tobin smiles back. “Hang out with me?” 

“Sure,” Kate says reaching for her hand as they walk down the tunnel. “You seeing Jen today?” 

Tobin shakes her head. “Just on Wednesdays now.” Kate nods. 

 

“Oh, that’s cold!” Tobin exclaims as she lowers herself into the icy water. She sets the timer and looks at Kate who is giggling. 

“Keep it up and you’re in here with me.” Tobin warns with a grin. 

Kate smiles. “I remember those days, no thanks.” She says and sits on a seat next to the tank. She studies Tobin for a moment. She’s shaking a little from the cold, her arms tightly crossed with her hands in her armpits. 

“So, you had quite the shock this morning,” Kate says quietly. 

Tobin looks up at her quickly. She sighs, “Yeah,” a frown appears on her face. “I kinda freaked a bit.” 

“That’s completely understandable.” Kate says, reaching over to rub Tobin’s shoulder. “From what Allie told me, it wasn’t so bad.” 

Tobin gives her a tight lipped smile. “I guess,” she says slowly, looking at the timer. “Why would someone be doing this?” 

Kate sighs. “I don’t know.” She shifts a little in the rolling stool to be closer to Tobin. “I met with John and we discussed some files and he will work with the PPB. They’ll be on top of this. They’re not going to let anything happen to you and neither will I.” 

The timer goes off and Tobin jumps, startled by it. She winces as the icy water contacts her flesh and grips the sides of the tub to get out. As she towels off her legs and feet she looks up at Kate. “I really appreciate you coming here today.” 

“Oh mavourneen,” Kate rises and hugs her, “I’m here for the duration.”

 

As they exit the elevator, Kate grips Tobin’s hand and stops walking. Tobin turns to look at her curiously. 

“I don’t want to scare you,” Kate starts, “but I’d like to clear your apartment before you come in, okay?” 

Kate sees panic and fear flash across Tobin’s face. “Just to be overly safe.” Kate says, squeezing Tobin’s hand. “More to be super sure.” 

Tobin nods as Kate moves forward, pulling her keys out. “Just stay out here for a minute and if I yell or anything, please do exactly what I say.” 

“Okay,” Tobin whispers. “Be careful.” 

Kate kisses her before entering the key in the lock. “I’m sure it’s fine, but I want you to know that it’s totally safe.” 

Kate enters the door quickly, shutting it softly and Tobin can hear her in the hallway. A couple of minutes pass and Tobin’s starting to get anxious when she hears Kate call her to come in. 

Tobin enters and sees Kate holstering her pistol and walking towards her. 

“I didn’t mean to freak you out, but I wanted to be sure that this pyscho wouldn’t do two things in a row to you today.” 

“I understand,” Tobin nods. “Thank you,” she says and kisses her. 

“We’ll just be more mindful of those around us, okay? Don’t let this freak you out.” Kate assures. 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods. “I won’t. It’s just a sick stalker trying to get a rise out of me.” 

Tobin heads to the kitchen and gets out her protein powder to make her shake. As she drinks it, Kate unbuckles her holster belt and takes her gun out, putting a trigger lock on it and stuffing it in her backpack. 

She slides her shoes off and sets them next to the bag. Pulling her hair out of her ponytail, she sees Tobin watching her. “I’m ready for a nap,” Kate smiles. “I‘ve been missing them.” 

Tobin grins as she sets her empty cup down on the counter. “I’d like to help you get out of that uniform, Officer.” 

“Oh really?” Kate says slyly as she walks over to face Tobin. “Is that so?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin breathes as she lightly fingers the top button of Kate’s shirt. Tobin feels her desire mounting for Kate. She bends forwards and kisses her gently. “You’re so fucking hot, Kate.” She smirks. 

Kate smiles and grabs Tobin’s hand, leading her down the hallway to Tobin’s bedroom, “Get ready for conduct unbecoming an officer.”

Tobin laughs and slaps Kate’s ass as they head in to the bedroom.


	27. Run Like Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin sees her stalker face to face.

The rest of the week was a blur. Tobin and Kate went to the Wednesday match against Kansas City and then out with a large group afterwards. The Thorns crowd was still loud, chanting Tobin’s name when they saw her on the Jumbotron. On Thursday they dragged, tired from being out later than usual. Friday brought them together, lazily stretched out on Kate’s back deck sipping beers. 

“Hey,” Kate says out of the blue, “we need to look at your schedule and do this fishing derby thing before the season ends.” 

“You really still want to do that?” Tobin asks her. 

“Of course!” Kate says excitedly. “Actually, what would you think if we made it more like a team thing?” 

“The whole team?” Tobin looks at her. 

“You’ve seen my pavilion,” Kate reasons, “I’ve had larger parties here for the band and hosted a couple of weddings even.” She sits up and swivels to face her. “Just think of this: fishing derby in the morning and afternoon, relax and chill and then end the evening with Jam Night for whoever wants to stay. We could set up tents, people could sleep over in the pavilion, it would be nuts.” 

Tobin’s grinning as she looks at her. “Well, there’s a bye week coming up in a few weeks, maybe we could do it then. I’d have to check with Mark and get his approval. Would a Friday to Saturday work better or Saturday to Sunday?” 

“Let me check with the band, see if we’re booked up and what our schedule looks like.” 

They grin at each other excitedly looking forward to the event already. “Hey, when are you going to play with the band again?” Tobin asks her. 

“Next Friday at a festival.” Kate answers as she stands up.

“Cool,” Tobin grins getting up as well and following her into the house. 

 

Saturday morning is overcast and a steady drizzle falls. Kate and Tobin sleep in enjoying a lazy morning of escalating kisses and satisfying endings. They eat a late breakfast and hang out in the family room, Kate reading and Tobin answering some emails and writing in her journal. They’re expecting Liz and Jen over for a later lunch and then heading over to Providence Park to watch the game. 

Tobin is lacing up her cleats as she prepares for her run. Kate opted out, deciding to hang back and get lunch started and wait for Jen and Liz. 

“How many miles today?” Kate asks as Tobin puts on her thin rain jacket. 

“Six,” Tobin says as she puts on her snapback with the brim facing forward. She already stretched out inside the house so she’s ready to go. 

“The girls will be here in about an hour and a half so you’ll have time to shower and stuff when you get back.” Kate says leaning in for a kiss. 

“Perfect!” Tobin says and gives her a quick peck. “I’ll be quick.” 

“You turn straight around if there’s any lightning, you hear?” Kate warns. “I mean it, it can get scary out there.” 

“Absolutely.” Tobin says adjusting her earphones. “I checked the radar, no sign of lightning strikes with the system moving in.” 

“Alright, go so you can get back” Kate says, swatting Tobin’s ass on her way out. Kate glances at her watch and notes the time. It’s one thirty which would put Tobin back about around two thirty or sooner. She heads to the kitchen to start chopping up some vegetables. 

Tobin stands on the deck and selects her hour long run playlist and charges down the stairs for the path. Her cleats grip the ground and she smiles knowing that was a good choice instead of her sneakers. It’s about sixty degrees out and she’s warm enough in her navy leggings and Under Armor long sleeve. Her rain jacket is breathable so she won’t overheat. 

 

It’s two forty-five and Liz and Kate are standing on her back deck, huddled together under an umbrella. Kate’s already phoned Tobin once with no answer. In the distance they can hear noise, like a machine hitting something or a loud woodpecker. 

“Maybe I should get the ATV and do a lap,” Kate says eying the outbuilding. 

“Has she been doing six miles regularly? I mean, maybe she slowed her pace with the rain.” Liz reasons. The machine noise seems to be getting closer. Thap, thap, thap. 

“I don’t like this,” Kate murmurs, her expression uneasy. She shoves the umbrella at Liz, “I’ll be right back.” She says and darts into the house. Her gut is telling her something is wrong. 

She returns only moments later with her pistol and Samson. A frightened Liz is pointing in the direction of the outbuilding. “There’s noises coming from that way.” She says. “I heard someone scream.” 

Suddenly they see a flash of dark color and branches thrashing as someone is running through the thick underbrush. It’s Tobin and she’s crouched down, moving from left to right and then darting right again as if to avoid being caught. Kate and Liz trot down from the deck making their way across the one hundred yards to the building. 

Kate realizes the loud ‘thap’ is from a paintball gun and someone is shooting at Tobin. Tobin struggles to get out of the tangled brush, a hand behind her head shielding herself as she moves. Kate breaks into a run with Liz trailing behind her. 

 

 

Tobin’s feeling good as Pink Floyd’s Run Like Hell comes on, her feet keeping beat with the song. She’s at the far edge of the lake and glancing at her watch sees her time is good. Only a mile and a half she says to herself. A piece of cake. The rain hasn’t hurt her stride, her feet still gripping the soft ground with her cleats. 

She loses herself in the run, sometimes praying, sometimes thinking about soccer or training or making mental to do lists. Sometimes she daydreams about her and Kate, sometimes she daydreams about life after soccer. As long as her feet move with the beat, she’s good. 

She’s on the curve of the lake that leads to the long straight away back to Kate’s house when it starts. She feels the sting on her chest up near her right shoulder. Again, then again. She wildly looks around putting one hand to her chest, one pulling her earbud out. She’s breathing heavy as she comes to a complete stop. Looking down, she sees neon green on her jacket. Her collarbone hurts from the impact. ‘Thap, thap, thap!’ she hears and feels pain in her right thigh. 

She looks up and sees Allison dressed in camouflage with her hair wild, standing at the edge of the path, blocking her way back. A strange smile on her face but something seems off. She tilts her head looking curiously at Tobin before slowly raising the paintball rifle and firing again. 

The shock of seeing Allison in front of her is instantly replaced with fear knowing that it’s not Allison but someone else. It can’t be Allison, I saw her shoot herself. Who the fuck is this? Why are they doing this? She’s snapped out of her thoughts as another round of three paintballs find their mark, hitting her in the stomach. 

Tobin grabs at her stomach as she takes off to her left into the underbrush moving straight south, she figures she can out distance them and cut back to follow along the path back. Just as long as she doesn’t get turned around. With hands out in front of her, she crashes through the branches as she hears the gun go off again. She sees splashes of neon green hit on trees around her. 

“Aaaahhh!” she yells in pain as she’s hit on her back. She keeps moving. 

Whoever it is can move fast and is still only yards behind her. Tobin crouches as she runs to avoid branches and ducks around trees and behind bushes trying to give herself cover. She’s moving quickly counting out yards in her head and then changing direction from south to west to be parallel to the path. She can’t hear anything behind her, she’s making too much noise herself as she barrels through the underbrush, branches slapping against her shins and forearms. She can feel her leggings tearing as they get caught on branches, her jacket snagging on young tree limbs. She’s lost her hat, her legs are burning from the exertion. She’s ducking to avoid taking branches to the face and she decides it might be smart to head closer to the trail and use her speed to get back. 

She gets back to the trail and moves forward when Allison pops up spraying a barrage of paintballs in her direction. 

“AAAAHHH!” Tobin yells in pain as she feels the stinging of the impact hitting her ribs and thighs. She darts to the right to get into the opposite side of the trail when she feels white hot searing pain in her left calf. She stumbles and stutters steps and trips over a fallen branch falling headlong into sticky bushes. She struggles through the pain to scramble to her feet as she gets hit repeatedly in her back. She’s flinching every time one of the paintballs strike her. 

She takes off running again, breathing heavy, panic rising. She tries to be erratic in her movements to dodge the flying paintballs. She ducks under branches, jumps over fallen ones, and tries to get back to cross over the path once more. She glances at her watch, it only shows she’s a quarter mile away from Kate’s place. Keep zigging and zagging she tells herself. Don’t be predictable. 

She’s on deer path that’s clear of growth and debris allowing her to run as fast as she can. She’s blazing down the trail when she’s hit again in the right side of her neck. She staggers as she brings her hand up to her neck and gets a shot to her hand as well. Fuck, that hurts, she thinks as tears stream down her face. She glances over and sees Allison moving alongside her about ten yards away. It’s a man. A woman doesn’t run like that. She’s getting tired but keeps pushing through as she takes a few more shots to her ribs. She runs with her elbows to her sides to protect herself a little, darting from left to right.

She can see the outbuilding as hope begins to fill her. She dodges under some branches and feels them scratching at her arms and face. She gets tangled up in the thickest of brush, scrambling to break free, hearing fabric rip as she frees herself. 

Her breathing is ragged with sharp noises coming on her inhales. She’s pretty gassed from this but continues on as she sees the blacktop parking area. She leaps from the underbrush, cutting right to beeline to the house, to safety. She sees Kate and Liz approaching her on a run.

She’s a stride away from the blacktop when she feels searing pain again in her left calf. Her foot instantly recoils and slips off the wet blacktop. She’s falling on her right knee, sliding down with her hands out to brace for impact. She raises her wrists up and feels her forearms meet the hard surface. She rolls as soon as she can as a series of shots hit her back causing her to yell out, wincing in pain. She arches her back and scrambles to get up but two shots hit her in the side of her head and she goes down again.  


She hears two loud gun shots and thinks this is it, she’s dead. She tenses up, curling into a ball with her ears ringing from the reports. She hears a muffled Kate yell ‘Samson, search for man!’ so she tries to get up again. 

Safety. Get to the house. She’s crawling across the pavement, her feet sliding from under her. She feels a hand on her arm and in her panic she twists and screams and shakes it off. She’s trying to get her footing but it’s like she’s on a sheet ice. She’s gasping for breath but every inhale hurts her ribs making her wince in pain. Her ears are still ringing and she can’t hear anything over her loud, wheezing inhales. 

“Tobin, stop!” she hears a voice say. It sounds like they’re under water, garbled and mixed with the loud heartbeat in Tobin’s ears.  


Liz is now in front of her, gently pushing her shoulders back. Tobin kneels with her butt on the backs of her burning calves. She feels hands grab her wrists and someone from behind raises her arms over her arm attempting to help her gain her breath back. 

“Uuhh,” Tobin moans in pain with each breath, trying to curl in a ball from the pain in her ribs. Whoever has her, gently places their knees into her back, straightening her posture. Liz is speaking to her but she can’t understand what she’s saying. She hangs her head forward, trying to relax and concentrate on her breathing. One breath, ignore the pain in the ribs, two breaths, ignore the pain in her calves, on and on until her breathing is more manageable. 

“We got you,” a voice says, “you’re safe now.” Tobin recognizes it’s Jen, and her voice is coming from behind her head. Where’s Kate. 

“Kate.” Tobin croaks out, her voice low and raspy. 

“She’s on the phone with the Police.” Liz states. “We’re going to move you to the house,” 

She feels hands on her back, taking her arms onto their shoulders. They slowly lift her and Tobin tries to walk but her legs are gone. She wobbles too much making them stagger. 

They stop and put a hand under each of her legs and lift her into a seated carry position and begin walking towards the house. 

Tobin whimpers as they go, unable to stop because she’s in so much pain. She looks down and sees she’s covered in mud, leaves and twigs and her leggings are slashed and snagged. She looks to her left and sees the determination on Jen’s face as she carries her. She swivels her head unsteadily to her right and sees Liz with a similar look. 

They get up the steps and pause before the door. 

“Tobin, do you think you can stand with some help?” Liz asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin breathes out. They gently lower her legs and she plants them as firmly as she can, locking her knees so they won’t give out. Jen opens the door and they begin to enter but Tobin resists. 

“Too dirty,” she says referring to her condition. 

“We’ll clean up, don’t worry.” Jen reassures. 

They drag her through the house to Kate’s bathroom. Before they sit her on the shower chair Jen pulled out, Liz gets Tobin’s leggings down to her knees. They sit her down and she winces as she leans back. 

“Jen, will you get my bag from my trunk? Keys are by the door.” Liz asks and Jen’s races out of the room. Tobin can hear sirens getting closer. 

“Kate okay?” she rasps. 

“Yeah, she didn’t go after him.” Liz assures knowing that’s what Tobin means. 

“Kay,” Tobin sighs. She shuts her eyes as the exhaustion hits along with the shakes. 

“Tobin!” Liz says sharply, “Stay with me now, look a me.” She instructs. 

Tobin lifts her head and eyes Liz as she is unlacing Tobin’s cleats and getting her socks off and sliding her leggings down. 

“Fuck,” they both say at the same time as they see the bruising already forming on Tobin’s thighs. Her legs are muddy and scratched from the foliage. 

Jen re-enters the room with the bag and hands it to Liz. “What can I do?” she asks. 

“Get the jacket and shirt off,” she answers handing a pair of scissors to her. 

“Okay Tobin, let’s do this,” Jen says comfortingly. She stands to the side as she lightly pulls on the sleeve of her jacket. Tobin leans forward and clumsily shakes her arm to get it off. They repeat the other side just as slowly. 

“Should I try and get the shirt off or just cut it?” Jen asks, unsure of herself. 

“Cut it,” Tobin says, “it’s okay.” she’s got a million of these shirts. 

“Okay, lean forward a little.” Jen instructs. Tobin can feel the pull on her stomach of the fabric as Jen swiftly cuts the back from top to bottom. Jen gasps as she sees the many welts on Tobin’s shoulder. 

Tobin’s shaking intensifies as she crosses her arms and shivers. Jen places a towel over her back and shoulders wrapping in front. 

“Thanks,” Tobin chatters. 

Liz is taking her blood pressure and eying her respirations. Tobin’s still wheezing a little on her inhales and she’s not sure if she’s broken any ribs. She just knows they hurt so bad.  


Tobin winces as she feels the cold metal of the stethoscope against her back. She straightens up instantly, pulling her shoulders back and chest out. 

“Cold,” she shivers. It’s then that her stomach decides to make its presence known. Tobin can feel the increased churning and the nausea rising. 

“Sorry,” Liz says as she writes something down on a notebook. 

“Oh, no.” Tobin says as she leans forward. “Gonna” she breathes out, “be sick.” Jen is there with the waste can from the corner, placing it in Tobin’s shaking hands. 

“You got it?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, wincing as she takes a deep breath. She brings the can up to her and vomits. The pain in her ribs is severe causing her to gag. She coughs and struggles as another wave hits and she’s vomiting again. A few minutes later, the dry heaves come and she spits into the can. Jen hands her a water bottle and she takes it, swishing it around her mouth and spitting a few times. 

“Okay?” Liz asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says, “sorry.” She feels embarrassed. 

“Nonsense,” Liz dismisses with a wave of her hand. “Just sit back, with your head up.” She instructs. 

Tobin does as she’s told and Liz is passing a light before her eyes. 

She studies the knot on the side of Tobin’s head as she's softly wiping the paint off. She winces looking at it. “You got a goose egg right there,” 

By now, Tobin is struggling to stay awake. Liz has already snapped her fingers and pinched Tobin’s ear to keep her awake. 

“So cold,” Tobin shivers, “Super tired,” she says as her head bobs up and down. 

“Just another few minutes, sweetheart,” Liz says as she rubs the top of Tobin’s messy wet hair. “You can rest once you’re on the gurney, okay?” 

“Trying,” Tobin mumbles. “No hospital,” she says, waving a shaky hand. 

“Tobin, you need some X-rays.” Liz explains. 

“Nah,” she says softly as her head rolls to one side, “I’m good, just sleepy.” she slurs. 

“Just some quick X-rays and you’ll be back.” Liz comforts. 

Tears streak down Tobin’s face. “Kate,” she whispers. She feels hands on her lifting her onto to the vinyl gurney. “Kate,” she calls out louder. She can’t keep her eyes open no matter how hard she tries. She thinks the medics are asking her questions but she can’t focus on anything. 

“Kate!” she cries out as she begins to lose it. She thrashes a bit and feels hands on her. She can’t stop herself, she’s scared. What if they’re lying? What if Kate chased the crazy person? What if she’s dead? 

“Where’s Kate?” she cries miserably as she feels fabric being placed around her wrists and feet. 

“Kate’s coming, Jen went to get her,” Liz soothes, “Just relax, she’s on her way.” 

Tobin continues to cry softly as she feels the soft prick of a needle entering her arm. She’s too tired to fight anymore. 

“Keep it together, keep it together,” she chants quietly in her head, attempting to calm herself. She doesn’t realize she’s saying it out loud. She’s still freezing, shaking in her Nike Pros and sports bra. She hears a man’s voice state her temperature is ninety-four degrees and suddenly she’s covered up to her neck with blankets. 

“Asthore,” Tobin hears and feels a gentle hand on her forehead. 

“Kate?” Tobin asks, rolling her head towards the voice, her eyes still shut. “Can’t open,” she mumbles, “it’s a man,” she says trying to describe her attacker. “Moves like a man.” She slurs. 

“I saw, I think you’re right,” Kate says tenderly. 

“So tired,” Tobin whispers.

“Go to sleep mavourneen,” Kate says quietly, stroking her forehead. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

“Be” Tobin breathes out, “safe.” She finishes as unconsciousness settles over her. 

 

 

 

She awakens with a start and a full body twitch that makes her wince in pain. She’s blinking against the harsh bright lights and trying to see when she feels a warm hand on her forehead. 

“Asthore,” Kate’s voice soothes, “relax, you’re at the hospital.” 

Tobin’s head falls back into her pillow and she sighs. “What’s going on? What time is it?” she asks, her voice rough from sleep. 

“It’s almost five o’clock and they’re going to release you soon once they’re sure you’re okay.” Kate replies. 

“Hey, look who’s awake!” a new voice exclaims entering the room. 

“Hey Kayla,” Tobin greets tiredly. 

“Hey champ, how are you feeling?” she asks as she wheels a cart in to the room. 

“Like I got hit by a truck,” Tobin says stiffly as she shifts in the bed. 

“Well, that bed isn’t doing you any favors,” Kayla confides as she begins to lay out some supplies. “I’m here to get you out of here in time for the game tonight.”

Oh, right, Tobin thinks, Thorns game. 

“I think we might watch it at my place,” Kate offers, “what time do you get off shift?” 

“Oh, not until eleven, but thanks.” Kayla replies. “So, have you seen Liz yet?” 

Tobin shakes her head. 

“Alright, so here’s the skinny: nothing is broken, no major cause for concern except for plenty of icing in the next twenty-four to thirty-six hours. You’ll be given Neosporin to treat the contact pain, some Norco to take for the body aches and you’ll need to monitor the bruises and see a doctor if they begin to hurt worse after two days.” 

“Okay,” Tobin sighs. 

“The left side of your ribs are really bruised the worst and so is the back of your left shoulder and calf. That’s going to suck, my friend.” Kayla says as she opens an Ace bandage. “We’ll give you a good wrap and send all the X-rays and test results with you for your team doctor to follow up.” 

Kayla proceeds to wrap Tobin’s ribs and gives her a tube of Neosporin. She hands a file over to Kate and a large envelop holding her X-rays. “Wish I could stay and chat, but I’ve got others to check out.” Kayla frowns. She lays a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry this happened, I hope they catch the guy soon.” 

“Thanks Kayla,” Tobin says sincerely, “for everything, I appreciate it.” 

“No prob, heal quick!” she says as she pushes her cart out of the room. 

Tobin’s sitting up on the side of the bed and Kate stands to help her put a shirt on. She then bends down and helps Tobin get a pair of sweatpants on as well and tosses a pair of flip flops at her feet to scoot into. 

Tobin sits back on the bedside for a moment looking at Kate. 

Kate is gathering the bag of clothes Tobin came in wearing and picking the file and envelop up. “What” she questions when she notices Tobin looking at her. 

“Are you okay?” Tobin asks her quietly. 

“This second, yes.” Kate replies, giving Tobin a tight-lipped smile. “But let’s talk when we get home, okay? I promise to fill you in on everything.” 

“Full disclosure?” Tobin asks with a hint of a smile. 

“Full disclosure.” Kate nods and gives her a quick kiss. 

Tobin stands up taking a moment to hang onto the side of the bed to gain her balance. Kate offers her arm and slides it under Tobin’s and they slowly walk out. On the drive back to Kate’s, she stops at the pharmacy and arranges the delivery of Tobin’s prescription to her house. Then they head home. 

Samson greets them at the door, Kate looking apprehensive. “Tobin, would you mind if I clear the house? I just, I got to check, okay?” she says as she draws her weapon from her ankle holster. She hands Tobin her cell phone. “Call 911 if I yell for it, okay?” 

Tobin nods, pulling up the number so she only has to hit send. This makes her uneasy, having Kate be so cop like in her own home. It makes Tobin wonder what really is going on and if she knows the whole story. 

Kate re-enters the living room, “All clear, we’re good.” She passes Tobin and locks the front door. 

Tobin exhales softly, breathing a sigh of relief. She walks forward to the kitchen, realizing she is very hungry. She grabs a banana and starts munching. She finishes her banana and grabs a Gatorade from the fridge. 

Kate comes in and looks at her. “PB & J?” she questions. 

“That would be great.” Tobin replies. “Thanks.” 

“Go sit and get comfortable.” Kate orders as she pulls out the loaf of bread. 

Tobin slowly lowers herself onto the couch, Samson jumping up and lying next to her snuggled into the corner. She absentmindedly lays a hand on his side, scratching lightly as she drinks her Gatorade. She leans back, wincing a little from her bruised shoulder. She sighs as she looks at the back of her right hand, examining the bruise. She wonders what her shoulder looks like. She shivers still feeling chilled from earlier. It’s a cold down in her bones as if she played a game in forty degrees. Eying the blanket draped across the back of the couch, she moans softly as she raises her arm to grab it and pull it around herself. 

Kate appears before her with a plate and Tobin reaches for it. “Thanks so much,” she says as she takes a bite. 

Kate smiles and taps her left knee which doesn’t have any bruises on it. “I’ll be right back,” she says as she leaves the room. She’s back in a few minutes with her phone, Tobin’s phone, her notebook and a pen. 

She takes Tobin’s empty plate and puts it on the coffee table. Tobin looks at her expectantly. 

“Couple of things before we get into it.” Kate says as she taps her notebook with her pen. 

“First: no game for you tonight, right?” 

Tobin shakes her head. “Nah,” 

“Have you considered texting Allie and Sinc to let them know?” Kate asks. 

“I haven’t thought of it really,” Tobin replies. 

“Okay, well, the team doesn’t know what happened to you.” Kate says. “I don’t mean to over step, but I contacted John and told him everything.” Tobin looks sharply at Kate, her eyes wide. 

“Tobin,” Kate says, “mavourneen, he needs to know. This is police business because it escalated into an attack.” 

“No,” Tobin shakes her, “I understand, I guess I just hadn’t thought of it.” She extends her hand to rest on Kate’s leg. 

“So, they don’t want the team to worry, so far it hasn’t made it to the Press. If you don’t go to the game, everyone will want to know why.” Kate explains. 

“So, I should text them and just say what?” Tobin asks with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Maybe just that you had an accident and needed to go get X-rays?” Kate offers. 

“Yeah, that’ll work.” Tobin nods and takes her phone from Kate’s lap. 

Harry & Captain Canada: sorry guys. Not making it the game tonight. Sorta had an accident and needed to get some x-rays on my ribs. 

Captain Canada: you okay? 

Harry & Captain Canada: yeah, bruised up nothing broken

Harry: WTF were you messing around on Kate’s ATV? 

Harry & Captain Canada: sorta?

Harry: HARRY!!!!!!!!!!!

Tobin looks at Kate and shrugs. 

“They can come over tonight if you want, it’s no problem.” Kate says quietly. 

“Yeah?” Tobin arches an eyebrow. Kate nods. 

Harry: Ask Kate if it’s cool for some of us to come over? I want to make sure you’re okay and then give you a new bruise. 

Tobin laughs as she reads it and shows her phone to Kate. Kate laughs lightly and shakes her head. “Allie,” she says, “she’s so much like Liz.”

“Hey, are they coming over for the game?” Tobin asks. 

“Only if you’re cool with it. I think Liz really wants to make sure you’re okay and Jen may want to talk with you a little.” Kate explains. 

“I think it would be good to talk to Jen,” Tobin nods. 

Kate picks up her phone to text them. 

Tobin answers back to Allie. 

Harry & Captain Canada: yeah, no prob. Have a good game! Kick some ass!

“Okay,” Kate says looking down at her list, “so, I don’t mean to be telling you things to do or anything, but while you were out, I just started writing some notes.” She looks up. 

“No, it’s cool,” Tobin says giving her a small smile. “You’re thinking of things I’m not.” 

“So, would it be alright if I asked Robin to call before the game to ask her they best way to treat your injuries?” Kate asks, her voice hesitant. 

Tobin looks at the clock below the TV. “She won’t be super busy in about a half hour. Now, she’s probably taping everyone up for warm ups.” She explains. 

“Do you want to take a shower?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin answers, “I feel super gross.” 

“Why don’t we do that and then I’ll talk to Robin.” Kate says getting up and extending her hand for Tobin. 

As Tobin slowly gets up, she looks at Kate. “What else is on your list?” 

Kate’s face flushes a little and her eyes dart down for a moment. “Call your Mom, call Perry. Uh, call your agent. Call Alex.” 

Tobin leans in and kisses her softly. “Thank you.” she says quietly. Kate’s eyebrows arch high. 

“For thinking of things I don’t. Thinking ahead.” 

“I just don’t want them to panic when they hear about it.” Kate explains. 

“Exactly,” Tobin says as they enter the bathroom. “I’m kind of still out of it to think about that.” 

Tobin gets showered up and Kate reapplies the wrap around her ribs. The shower warmed her up so she decides to put on shorts and a t-shirt. If she gets chilly she’ll just grab a hoodie and a blanket. Kate uses Tobin’s phone to take photos of her injuries so Tobin can see them. Kate also advises her that they took photos at the hospital as evidence of her attack. 

Tobin stays in the bedroom to Facetime her Mom. She gets through most of the call without breaking down but anytime her Mom cries, she typically gets teary eyed as well. She assures her she’s safe and the Police are doing everything they can. 

She goes to the bathroom after they hang up and takes her contacts out of her irritated eyes and puts on her glasses. She takes a deep breath before Facetiming Perry. 

“Yo,” she says as Perry answers. 

“Hey Tob- what happened to your face?” Perry asks, instantly alarmed. 

“Uh,” Tobin looks down and then back up to her sister. “I got attacked today.” 

“What?” she yells. 

Tobin relays to her all that she remembers. 

“I want to talk to Kate.” Perry says firmly. 

“Per,” Tobin starts. 

“Now, Tobin.” Perry orders, her face serious. Tobin sighs and slumps her shoulders. 

“Hey, babe?” Tobin calls out. 

“Yeah?” Kate answers from the kitchen. 

 

“Can you come here, please?” 

Kate walks in looking curiously at Tobin. Tobin holds her phone to her chest. “Perry wants to talk to you and she’s really upset. I really didn’t want this to be the way you two-“ 

“It’s okay, asthore,” Kate says gently as she sits down next to Tobin and takes the phone, holding it out so Perry can see them both. 

“Hi Perry,” Kate says. 

“Hi.” Perry says angrily. “What the fuck happened?” 

“Perry!” Tobin scolds. 

“Relax, mavourneen,” Kate says, gently resting her hand on Tobin’s knee. “Perry, I’m sorry we have to meet this way, here’s what I know.” From there she goes into Cop Mode as Tobin calls it in her head. Explaining factually what occurred in the proper timeline, her response, the Police response, the Thorns response. She patiently answers all of Perry’s questions, her tone neutral, comforting and firm at times. 

When Perry insists on flying out to stay with Tobin, Kate responds. “Perry, that’s a great idea and I know that would be my first instinct as well. I just want to lay this out for you and you think about it for a moment, okay? If you come, you most likely become another target. This psycho hasn’t done anything to me or the team, but he is escalating. He’s trying to scare and terrify Tobin right now. Which means, as Tobin’s sister, you would be an ideal target. How better to break her completely than do something to her sister? This is a sick fuck we’re dealing with.” 

Perry is silent. She’s biting her lower lip in a way that makes her look so much like Tobin when she does it. 

“Okay.” she nods. “What can we do to keep her safe? Leave town? Have her come here?” 

“Well,” Kate glances at Tobin. “Tonight she’ll stay here. I’m armed and have a dog. Two Police units will be on my property all night. They are right now. Tomorrow I’m having security cameras installed.” 

“You are?” Tobin asks. Kate nods and turns back to Perry. “Tomorrow afternoon, Interlachen Police, who I work for, Portland Police and Thorns security are coming over to discuss a plan of action. Portland has a Stalker Division that’s getting up to speed on things and they’re working on a profile. There are a couple of suspects, nothing firm. We’ll see what checks out.” 

“This is news to me,” Tobin says quietly. 

“It’s further down on my list, we just didn’t get there yet.” Kate explains. Tobin nods. 

Perry leans back on her chair. She lets out a heavy sigh. “Tobin, can I see?” 

“See what?” Tobin asks, confused. 

“Your injuries?” she asks hesitantly. 

“Uh, sure.” Tobin answers. 

“I’ll switch views so you can see,” Kate says as she stands up in front of Tobin. Tobin pulls back the leg of her shorts to show an assortment of tiny bruises, about a half inch in diameter, scattered across her thighs with some scratches. Kate pans the phone down her leg and shows the deep bruise on her calf and the scrap from sliding across the blacktop. There’s scratches on her shins as well. Kate pulls up the back of Tobin’s shirt with one hand to show her right shoulder that’s bruising over, shades of red with darker blues and purples coming through. 

She hands the phone to Tobin as she reaches with both hands to pull up the front of her shirt revealing over twenty welts not covered by the wrap on her ribs. 

“Tobin!” Perry cries as she sees this. Tobin has tears falling from her eyes as well. Kate takes the phone back. 

“It doesn’t hurt so bad,” Tobin comforts, sniffling, “it’s just bruises, I’m okay.”

“This is not okay!” Perry cries out loudly. “This is awful!” She has her head in her hands sobbing. That starts Tobin up who begins to cry harder, wincing from her ribs. Kate sits down next to her and Tobin leans into her. Kate puts her arm around Tobin to stroke her hair. 

“It’s okay, it’s going to be alright, they’ll find whoever did this, you’re safe, I’ve got you.” Kate repeats these words for a few minutes as Tobin regains her composure. Kate glances at the phone, unsure if they’re still connected. She sees Perry watching them intently. 

Perry gives her a small smile and nods her head. Kate nods back. 

Kate leans over and brings some tissues back for Tobin to use. Tobin takes them silently, wiping her eyes and then straightening up to blow her nose. She looks at Perry and gives her a sad smile. 

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly. 

“You have nothing to be sorry about.” Perry says gently, aware her words are important. “I trust Kate and it appears everything is well organized to keep you safe. Kate is right about me being there. As much as I want to be there, I don’t want to be the cause of things escalating.” 

“Okay,” Tobin says softly. 

“But you get your ass on a plane or something if anything else happens. Hide out in a hotel. Find a cave.” Perry instructs. “Get a body guard.” 

Tobin smiles, bringing her arm around Kate’s waist and leaning in to kiss the side of her cheek. “I have one.” She says waggling her eyebrows. 

“Tobin!” both Kate and Perry exclaim. 

“Just trying to lighten the mood, yo.” Tobin says grinning. 

“I’ll give you lighten the mood,” Kate grumbles but there’s a small smile on her face. 

“Alright,” Perry sighs. “You two keep safe. Please call me tomorrow to let me know your game plan. Have you talked to Mom?” 

Tobin nods. “First call I made.” 

“Good. Because if she heard this on this news…” Perry threatens. 

Tobin puts her hands up in apology. “I was kind of out of it,” she explains. “Kate was the one who suggested I start making calls now.” 

“Did you call your agent?” 

“He’s next and then Alex. Some of the girls are coming over later. They’re trying to keep it from the team before game time.” Tobin explains. 

“Seems like you’ve got all the bases covered.” Perry smiles looking at Kate. 

“Just trying to help,” Kate says suddenly shy. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re there with her. It gives me comfort, so thanks.” Perry says sincerely. 

“You’re welcome.” Kate says quietly. 

“It’s getting close to game time, so we’re gonna go, okay?” Tobin asks. 

“Yeah, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Perry says. 

“Love you.” Tobin says simply. 

“I love you Tobin,” Perry says, her voice wavering. 

“Nice meeting you.” Kate says softly. 

“You too, Kate. I can’t wait to meet you in person. Sorry about before, I was upset.” Perry says warmly. “Bye guys.” 

“Bye.” Tobin and Kate say in unison. 

Tobin puts a hand to her ribs as she takes a breath and lets it out. “That was something.” 

“Yeah.” Kate agrees. 

They both sit for a minute, lost in their thoughts. 

Tobin looks at her phone and pulls up a page. “Oh,” she muses. 

“What?” Kate asks. 

“Alex is playing right now.” Tobin says as she texts her a message saying she’s okay and will talk to her later. 

“Alright, so, call your agent and I’ll see you out there.” Kate says as she begins to stand. 

“Yep.” Tobin replies as she’s putting the phone to her ear. She leaves a voice mail saying she’s fine, briefly describing the attack and glossing over her injuries. 

She sits on the bed contemplating what happened. How were they going to stop this? Would they find out who is doing this? It has to be someone who knew Allison. For them to make a mask to scare her, to use that to freak her out. They’re trying to get into her head. Someone who would know what could make her unravel. Fucking around with stuff in her place. Making her feel like she’s going crazy. 

She doesn’t know how long she sits there until she’s snapped out of her thoughts. 

“Tobin?” Kate quietly approaches. 

Tobin gazes into Kate’s blue eyes that are full of concern. “Are they going to find him?” she asks, her voice cracking as she tries to hold it together. 

Kate sees the fear and panic etched in Tobin’s eyes. She sees the exhaustion and pain. She hears the uncertainty of her words. She sits next to her and takes her hand. “They’re gonna find him. There’s a lot of people working on this. You’ll be safe. I promise.” 

“I was so scared.” Tobin whispers as tears fall from her eyes. “He kept shooting. I couldn’t get away.” Her chest hitches as her cries get stronger, aching her ribs. 

Kate’s eyes are tear filled. “I’m so sorry, I was so scared for you.” 

Tobin turns to face Kate, eyes downcast. Kate takes her in her arms, trying not to squeeze tightly. 

“I got you. You’ll be safe, I promise.” She cries. 

They sit together, softly weeping in each other’s arms, scared of what happened and what might be to come.


	28. I feel Like A Prisoner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of the team see Tobin after her incident and ask Kate how to help her best. Kate and Tobin meet with the different Police agencies to map a gameplan to deal with the stalker. Tobin tells Kate she's ready to try something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so please don't kill me about the end of this chapter, K?

“Jesus Christ!” Kling exclaims loudly upon seeing Tobin’s bruised legs. 

Emily is standing next to her, her hand over her mouth, eyes wide. 

“I’m okay,” Tobin says quietly. “Just bruises.” 

“Tobin,” Sinc says softly as she kneels down next to the couch. She lays a hand on Tobin’s knee. “I’m so sorry,” 

“What can we do to help?” Allie asks Kate, her voice rough and scratchy. 

“Well, we haven’t had a chance to talk about a game plan together for next week yet.” Kate explains, her eyes shifting to the top of Tobin’s head from where she stands behind the couch. 

“Can I talk to you guys about it tomorrow?” Tobin asks looking around at her teammates. She’s tired. Beyond tired. She forced herself to stay awake for the game and waited for them to get to Kate’s. Now that they’re here, she’s having trouble staying awake. 

“Sure.” 

“Of course.” 

“No problem,” 

“We’ll do whatever we can to help,” Sinc says looking up at Kate and then at Tobin. She smiles at her. “Why don’t you go to bed? You look so worn out.” She suggests softly. 

“I wanted to see you guys,” Tobin protests, trying not to yawn. 

“You’ve seen us and we’ve seen you.” Allie says touching Tobin’s shoulder. “Come on, you’re gonna get sick if you don’t get some rest.” 

Tobin sighs and her shoulders sag. She wants to tell them she feels so weak, like she could have done something differently. Maybe stop and fought him instead of just running away and allowing herself to get shot at. She wants to tell them she’s terrified, not of just something happening to her but to one of them for being around her. She wants to tell them she has no clue what to do or how to act. She wants to tell them she feels like one more incident could just put her over the edge. 

A single tear runs down her cheek as she nods and says “okay.” She takes a moment to collect herself and slowly gets up from the couch. She turns to Kate and reaches her hand out. 

“I’ll be in soon, mavourneen,” Kate smiles realizing Allie needs to be with Tobin right now. Tobin nods and drops her hand leading Allie down the hallway. Allie looks back over her shoulder and mouths “thank you” to Kate. Kate nods and gives her a soft smile. 

“Let’s get some drinks and go out on the deck?” Kate suggests to the Thorns players standing in front of her. They all nod and follow her to the kitchen. 

 

“Do you need another pillow?” Allie asks softly. 

“I’m good,” Tobin yawns as shifts to get comfortable. “Stay? At least until I fall asleep?” 

“Of course,” Allie says, kicking off her shoes and sliding into bed over the covers next to her. She lays on her side and spoons Tobin, gently placing her hand on her side. Tobin winces a little at the contact. 

“I’m sorry!” Allie exclaims. 

“It’s okay, it’s just sore.” Tobin mumbles. Allie places her hand on Tobin’s arm and strokes it lightly. 

Tobin sighs as she closes her eyes. “Thanks, Har.” She mumbles as she gives in to sleep. 

Allie lays there, praying to God to watch over Tobin. Physically and mentally. She seems so lost. Scared. She quietly cries for her friend lying next to her. 

 

“You do know that she’ll never agree to us helping her.” Kling states as she passes the joint to Liz. 

“Not if there’s a chance someone will get hurt.” Sinc adds. 

“She seems so fragile.” Emily says quietly. She’s still in shock at how awful Tobin looked. Pale, tired, nervous, in pain. 

“We’ll know much more tomorrow after we get a game plan.” Kate states. 

“Do you have any clue who it could be?” Kling asks. 

“Nothing solid, but there’s some people to check out.” Kate says vaguely. “I can’t talk about it just yet.” 

“Why?” Kling asks, her voice laced with irritation. “We should know so we can protect her!” 

“Easy, there.” Sinc says gently, laying her hand on Kling’s forearm. “We can’t know suspects because that will put us in danger, right?” she asks, looking at Kate. 

That’s a smart cookie, right there, Kate thinks as she nods in response. “It’s a cat and mouse game to get this guy.” 

“But Tobin’s the fuckin’ mouse!” Kling rages, “I don’t like it, it’s too much.” 

“Depending on the profile of this guy,” Jen pipes up, “he may slip up and leave some evidence. They found some stuff today, didn’t they?” 

“Yeah,” Kate says. “They got some stuff. I can’t tell you what, but some of it can be useful.” 

“Kate,” Sinc says as she leans forward in her chair, “We’re gonna rely on you to tell us how to help keep her safe, okay?” 

“I’ll do my best.” Kate says grimly. 

 

“Babe,” Tobin mumbles feeling Kate slide under the covers. 

“I’m here, asthore,” Kate says quietly. “Are you in any pain?” 

“Nah,” she replies sleepily twisting slowly to her side to face her. “I missed you,” she murmurs grazing her fingertips along Kate’s upper arm. 

They lay in silence for a few minutes. Tobin turns her head to face Kate. “What are we going to do?” she asks in the dark. She can make out Kate’s profile from the moonlight filtering in the skylights above them. 

“We take it one day at a time.” Kate says. She leans over and places a kiss on Tobin’s lips. 

“Did the press get wind of this?” Tobin asks, shifting her position to get comfortable.

“Yeah,” Kate says quietly. “It’s out there. They made the connection to Allison and me as well.” 

Tobin sighs. She knew it could happen but she didn’t like it. She knew there wasn’t much she could do about it. “Did it go nationally?” she asks. 

“It did. ESPN picked it up. It was in CNN as well.” Kate says just as quietly. 

“Thank you again for thinking to have me call me family.” Tobin says, her voice trembling a little. 

Kate brings her elbow up to rest her head on her hand and look at Tobin. “I just went into autopilot. Those type of things come naturally to me, I guess.” 

“Well, thank you.” Tobin repeats. “I appreciate you looking out for me.” She shifts and winces a little. 

“Can I get you some extra pillows? Maybe we can put one behind your back so your shoulder isn’t hitting the mattress so much?” Kate asks. She doesn’t wait for Tobin to reply, she   
can see how uncomfortable she is. She gets up and leaves the room coming back with three pillows. 

“Here, let’s have you sit up,” she suggests helping Tobin slowly sit up. She places a pillow under her lower back and then one longways under her left shoulder. “Let’s try this, okay?” she says helping to lower Tobin back down. 

Tobin squirms her shoulders as she settles in. “Much better, thanks, babe.” 

Kate looks down at her. “Seriously, do you want a pain pill?” 

“No,” Tobin says, “I’m good. I promise.” 

“Okay,” she says going around the bed to slide in on her side and snuggling close to Tobin. She leans over and kisses her. Tobin raises her arm to place her hand on the back of Kate’s head and deepens the kiss. They pull back at look at each other. 

“You mean so much to me, Kate.” Tobin says. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

Kate leans in and kisses her deeply. She knows she loves Tobin but she knows it’s not the right time to tell her flat out. Tobin responds shifting her body on the pillows. They continue kissing, their passion growing. 

Tobin breaks free of the kiss, “Come over here,” she says pulling Kate’s arm closer. 

“I don’t want to hurt you, you have so many bruises,” Kate protests. 

“It’ll be fine,” Tobin says pulling her again. 

Kate slowly creeps over settling one leg in between Tobin’s and lightly tracing her fingers on her chest. Tobin pulls her in to kiss again bringing her hand over to rub Kate’s back. Kate cups Tobin’s right breast and massages it slowly resulting in a moan from Tobin. Tobin’s hands creep down to grab Kate’s ass, massaging it as her hips slowly grind against Kate. 

Kate takes her hand from Tobin’s breast as Tobin whines from the loss of contact. She trails her hand down under Tobin’s shirt and pulls it up a little. Tobin gets the idea and lifts her back up so Kate can bring the fabric up over Tobin’s breasts. Using her fingertips, she traces light circles around Tobin’s nipple while slowly bringing her lips to her other breast. 

“Oh, babe,” Tobin moans, “You feel so good,” she says as she brings her hands under the elastic of Kate’s shorts to massage her ass squeezing deeply. Kate starts to suck on Tobin’s nipple, taking it fully into her mouth. 

“Umm,” Tobin moans as she tries to take a deep breath and winces. 

Kate pulls back quickly to look at her. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, just go slow, okay?” Tobin smiles as she slowly brings her right hand around from Kate’s backside to trail lightly down to her center. 

“Just keep your breathing under control, yeah?” Kate asks. 

“Yeah.” Tobin says as she kisses her deeply. Kate slides her left hand down Tobin’s shorts and slides her fingers through her folds at the same time Tobin does the same to her. They moan together as they both keep the same pace, softly circling each other’s clits. Tobin brings her hand under Kate’s shirt and grasps her breast, squeezing it rhythmically with her lazy circling of her clit. Kate brings her lips back down to Tobin’s breast. Tobin arches her back as Kate increases the pressure on her clit, rocking her hips a little faster. 

Kate trails kisses up to Tobin’s neck and sucks lightly on it. “Finish me off mavourneen,” her breath hot against Tobin’s ear. Tobin slides two fingers into Kate as Kate brings her hips higher to accept them. Kate moves her hands to the sides of Tobin’s torso fingers splayed against the mattress. She rocks her hips to meet Tobin’s thrusts, a loud moan escaping her lips. 

Tobin continues to move in and out of Kate, curling her fingers against Kate’s g-spot. She angles her hand so her thumb grazes across her clit. Kate loudly moans and bucks her hips. “Yes, yes, aaah!” she cries as she throws her head back. Tobin circles her clit with her quicker as she curls her fingers once more. 

Kate suddenly freezes, her mouth open, head back and then relaxes. She slowly brings herself down against Tobin, keeping most of her weight on the mattress, mindful of Tobin’s injuries. She slows her breathing, her head next to Tobin’s. 

“That was so good, you’re so good to me,” Kate says nuzzling Tobin’s neck. “You just know what I need,” she says as she begins to kiss her neck, alternating with soft bites and lightly sucking over them. She keeps away from the bruise on Tobin’s neck and slides her tongue down to her collarbone to suck on it. She softly bites it and tongues over it making her way down to her breast again. She traces around Tobin’s nipple and stops to kiss all around the areola, licking and kissing. Tobin moans as she slightly arches her back bringing her hand to the back of Kate’s head, gently pressing down to her chest. 

Kate’s hand snakes down into Tobin’s shorts and slowly circles her clit with her fingers. “Don’t stop,” Tobin moans, “please,” she begs.

Kate increases her speed as her fingers work her clit and brings her tongue back to Tobin’s nipple. She sucks on it as she slowly enters Tobin with two fingers. Tobin lets out a huge low pitched moan as her hips thrust forward. Kate keep the same pace as she hears Tobin’s breathing increase.

“Easy, mavourneen,” she warns, “don’t hurt your ribs.” 

“Please, babe, don’t stop!” Tobin cries as she brings a hand up to hold her wrapped ribs. “please, I need it so badly,” she begs breathlessly. Kate can see tears coming from Tobin’s shut eyes and she doesn’t know if it’s from emotions or pain. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Kate says, her voice wavering, she’s getting emotional now as well. 

“Please, keep going, I need you so bad,” Tobin begs with her hips thrusting wildly. She moans loudly as Kate begins curling her fingers as she pulls back. She drops her head again and takes Tobin’s nipple in her mouth and strongly sucks on it, making Tobin moan again. 

“Kate, yes, so good,” Tobin chants as her hips keep rolling in rhythm with Kate’s fingers. Kate can feel the shift in Tobin’s demeanor and knows she’s close, so she removes her fingers, bringing them back to her clit. She squeezes it between her fingers causing Tobin to flinch and moan. Then she furiously circles it making Tobin pant and cry out. 

“Oh God!” Tobin exclaims as her hips buck and her legs quake and tremble. 

Kate rakes her teeth roughly across Tobin’s nipple as she feels Tobin go stiff as a board momentarily and then crash back down into the mattress. She’s holding her ribs with both hands, arms crossed in front of her, mouth hanging open, eyes slammed shut. 

Kate slowly pulls her hand from Tobin’s shorts and looks down at Tobin. She’s still breathing heavy, wincing a little upon each inhale. She’s breathing through her mouth trying to slow herself down. Kate notices her hips twitch a few times as if Tobin’s still feeling aftershocks. 

“Kate, that was…” Tobin trails off as a smile spreads across her face. She opens her eyes sleepily, gazing up at her. 

“Are you okay?” Kate asks, concerned. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs, “ribs are a little sore but it was so worth it,” she grins and puckers her lips up for a kiss. Kate smiles as she kisses her softly. Kate stares into Tobin’s honey speckled eyes. She leans in again and slowly kisses her and then slides over to her neck leaving a trail of kisses as she moves forward close to Tobin’s head. 

“You,” Kate breathes into her ear, “are a goofball.” She smiles as the words leave her mouth. 

Tobin’s eyes shoot open and she faces Kate quickly with an open mouth and her eyebrows raised. “That’s some kind of pillowtalk ya got there, Doyle,” she smirks. 

“Yeah, well,” Kate grins, “it sounded better than just saying I’ve got to pee, Heath.” She says and rolls off the bed and heads for the bathroom hearing Tobin’s musical laugh as she goes. 

When she returns, Kate sees Tobin sitting on the edge of the bed looking at her. “What’s up, buttercup?” Kate asks her. 

“I’ve got to pee.” she grins. 

“That’s some pillowtalk ya got there, Heath!” Kate laughs as she extends her hands for Tobin to take and helps her up. Tobin laughs as she enters the bathroom. When she returns, Kate has a light on and is smoothing out the comforter and Tobin’s pillows. Kate throws back the covers on Tobin’s side and gestures for her to lay down. She helps her get as comfortable as she can before she moves around to her side of the bed. 

As she clicks off the light she turns to Tobin. “You good?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin says as she yawns, “I took a pain pill.” 

“As long as it wasn’t those crazy muscle relaxers.” Kate remarks. 

“No, those are in my medicine cabinet at home.” Tobin says, “Those fuckers were powerful.”

Kate moves her hand under the covers and finds Tobin’s. They intertwine their fingers and Tobin gives a squeeze. “Thanks for everything babe,” she murmurs softly. 

“You’re welcome, mavourneen,” Kate whispers as she snuggles in. 

 

 

“I feel like a prisoner.” Tobin laments sadly as she sits on the couch. The meeting with the Police wasn’t as informative as either one of them had hoped. Yes, they had some suspects. Yes, they were male. No, they couldn’t tell them more. 

The Thorns staff was increasing security and until further notice, there would be no open practices, the press would be extremely limited, and all players would be given increased security. Tobin would have a designated person watching during practice and her time at the stadium. She would be escorted by security and/or teammates with security to and from her home. Kate was welcomed to stay with her in the evenings. She was given permission to stay at Kate’s only if she promised there would be no running alone. In fact, they wanted her to do all of her running at Providence Park whether on the field or a treadmill. They were impressed with Kate’s new security system and felt Tobin would be safe here as well as her apartment. They were working with the security team in her building to be especially vigilant. They urged her to limit any venturing out in the public during her downtime. 

Kate only raised an eyebrow at this. She felt they were closer to the suspect than they were letting on and they felt he was dangerous. She had asked a couple of questions only to be told they couldn’t share it with them. She was pissed but realized her role here was as Tobin’s girlfriend and not a cop. 

Tobin wouldn’t travel with the team until this was resolved. Tobin shouldn’t have family visit. Tobin really shouldn’t have teammates over to ensure their safety as well unless they had security with them to get home safely. The team would be briefed on this situation so they that Tobin wasn’t shutting them out, but following their wishes. 

Before the contingency departs, they give Tobin a necklace with a small plastic rectangle on it. They explain it’s a panic button she can activate so the nearest security personnel can be summoned. She loops it over her head. 

Kate sits down next to Tobin and Tobin leans her head onto her shoulder. Kate lightly slings her arm around her, mindful of her bruises. She brushes her lips against Tobin’s forehead. Tobin lays her hand on Kate’s knee and sighs. 

“This is bad, isn’t it?” Tobin asks. “Like, this is serious level stalker, right?” 

Kate sighs, trying to figure what exactly to tell her. She just goes for the truth. It’s her nature. “Yeah, this is serious. We have to be careful. Very careful.” 

Tobin looks at her with a frown on her face. Kate sees her fear, sadness, and her tiredness. “Why don’t you take a nap?” she suggests. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs. “I’m going to make a few phone calls first.” Tobin says as she lifts herself from the couch and pads barefoot down the hallway. Kate leans back into the couch and wonders what she can do to help her girlfriend’s state of mind. 

 

 

They’re snuggled on the couch, laughing hysterically at the movie they’re watching. Kate was flabbergasted to learn that Tobin had never seen Young Frankenstein with Gene Wilder. Tobin decided she wanted to really relax and produced a couple of edibles in the form of suckers and they ate those while they discussed movies. 

Thoroughly stoned on an early Sunday evening, Tobin seemed to release some of the stress she was carrying. She had talked to her mother, Perry, her brother, her other sister Katie, her agent, her coach Mark, Alex and Lauren. When she emerged from Kate’s bedroom a couple hours later, Kate could tell Tobin hadn’t slept, even though she said she had laid down for a while. 

While she understood that this was an extreme situation, she noted that under Tobin’s typically laid back and chill personality, she was actually wound tighter than a drum. Tobin couldn’t keep still, she was fidgety, her foot would twitch for periods at a time and she just couldn’t seem to settle down. 

Kate herself was tense. This was a crazy situation. She knew the detectives were working their asses off to find leads, she knew the crime lab was running the evidence. She knew they were waiting for that one break in the case that would end it. 

For the first time in her professional career, Kate now understood how victims of crimes felt. She always had sympathy for them, now faced with this, she understood the helplessness. Realizing Tobin must be feeling even worse than her, she knew Tobin well enough to know that Tobin’s main concern would be for other’s not to get hurt by this psycho. 

Kate decided she needed to lift Tobin’s spirit and employ some normalcy to their evening instead of focusing on this dark situation. So, that’s how they found themselves, stoned, on her couch watching a classic comedy of the ages. 

“What knockers!” Tobin laughs. 

Kate smiles, pleased to hear that melodic laugh she has grown to love. She had decided to take the day off tomorrow to be at home when Tobin arrived after therapy. Tobin would be staying at her place for the upcoming week and then they would shift over to her place. The Thorns had an away game against Seattle so the team would be leaving on Friday.   
Kate shifts a little and Tobin responds by snuggling closer. Tobin glances at her and gives her a tired smile. Kate smiles back and kisses her cheek. Tobin shifts her hand to Kate’s and they intertwine their fingers. 

 

The next morning shows the two worse for wear. They’re tired, both tossing and turning and neither getting a restful night’s sleep. Tobin is slow getting ready to depart for her day, moving at a snail’s pace to load her bag. She’s not very talkative, answering Kate in short phrases. She’s not pissy or anything, just off. Kate feels similar to her, just pensive. 

Kate’s also a little nervous to be letting Tobin out of her sight. She doesn’t want to be overprotective and she doesn’t want to keep telling to be careful and instill an even greater fear in her than she already has now. So, she holds her tongue when Tobin opens to front door to watch the two cars slowly moving up the driveway. She resists the urge to hold her and tell her not to leave. 

“Hurry back,” Kate husks into Tobin’s ear as they hug. 

Tobin gives her a quick kiss. “I will,” she says softly, “you be careful here, okay?” she asks, revealing in her eyes to Kate just a sliver of the anxiety she’s carrying. 

“I will.” Kate promises and kisses her back. “Now go so you can get back.” 

Kate spends her morning working out doing some sit ups and pushups and anything else she can think of. She has her competency evaluation tomorrow so she wants to keep sharp. She knows she’ll ace the physical and shooting exams, she knows she’ll fly through the psychological exam. She’s nervous about the eye test. In her gut, she feels like she might not be there. She can sense that her vision isn’t up to one hundred percent, but she thinks it’s good enough to get by. 

She knows Tobin is concerned and Kate regrets shutting her down the few times Tobin has broached the subject. She just, doesn’t know what she’d do if she couldn’t be a cop. It’s what she’s dreamed of since she’s been a little girl. She loves serving the community, she loves the interaction with people every day. She loves she can make a difference in people’s lives. She loves the rush of adrenalin for calls, mentally preparing herself for the scenarios she may face. She made a conscious decision to end her soccer career playing with the National Team in order to become a police officer. 

Reflecting on that, Kate realizes she doesn’t love this situation she’s in currently. The person she loves is in danger. Kate feels helpless to the situation except to support Tobin emotionally in any way she can. She’ll carry her weapon even in the house. She’ll be vigilant in security wherever they are. She’ll be prepared for all scenarios. But she’ll still feel helpless. 

The reality about stalkers is that about ten percent become violent and add in the celebrity aspect of Tobin’s situation, it would be a higher percentage of her stalker to be violent towards her. The fact that the stalker didn’t speak to her in any way indicates that they may be reserving their rage for a more intimate setting or feel so superior to Tobin that they don’t consider her worthy of a conversation. 

Kate wants to take a peek at the profile but knows it will be tricky for her to get at it. She thinks maybe Steve would make it happen, but she doesn’t want to play that card just yet. She’ll have to feel him out when she sees him tomorrow after her evaluation. 

 

 

Tobin tries to make conversation with John as he drives her to Kate’s place. There’s a second car behind them that has two other security people in it. It makes her nervous. Very nervous. Her day went well, relatively speaking. It mostly consisted of lounging in the whirlpool, then doing an ice bath up to her neck and getting back in the whirlpool of hot water. Robin did an ultrasound treatment on her bruises. She gave Tobin a different ointment for her bruises that soothed them instantly. 

She actually did feel better and not as sore as she was in the morning. What she wanted the most was to touch a soccer ball. Maybe her and Kate could kick one around a little bit tonight. She’s having a sucker to take the edge off, Robin suggested if she was carrying she should have one. She knew Tobin was uptight and without outright saying anything, she acknowledged it and offered an idea. Robin then stated, in an official voice, that she recommended it as a viable option for Tobin’s treatment and pain management. 

She smiled to herself as she thinks about Kate. Kate is so awesome. So caring and patient. So smart. So intuitive to her needs. Funny, beautiful and what a sense of humor. So easy to talk to about anything. I am in love with her, I really am, Tobin thinks and her smile grows wider. I can’t wait to see her. 

They pass a cop car at the base of Kate’s driveway and she sees another parked near the pavilion. Tobin bids farewell to John and walks up the stairs to the porch. Kate greets her at the door and gives John a wave as she opens it to let Tobin in. 

“I’m so happy to see you,” Tobin breathes out as they hug. 

“Me too, mavourneen,” Kate says as she brings her lips to Tobin’s for a kiss. It’s a quick kiss and then Tobin rests her chin on Kate’s shoulder and sighs. 

“A sucker?” Kate asks. 

“I was told I needed to chill.” Tobin explains as she shrugs, “apparently I was a little too tense.” 

“What it that bad?” Kate asks, her face full of concern.   
“No, it was fine, actually.” Tobin replies. “Robin could tell I was a little wound up.” 

“What did they have you doing today? How do you feel?” Kate asks as they walk further into the house. 

Tobin relays her day as she drinks a protein shake in the kitchen. When she finishes, she asks Kate about her day. Once they catch up and Tobin is finished with her drink, Kate arches an eyebrow and asks her if she wants to take a nap. Just a nap, only a nap. Tobin just smirks at her and gets out the chair to follow her down the hallway. 

Nap, dinner and a quiet evening follow. Kate plays her piano while Tobin writes in her journal and calls her Mom and sister. Tobin gets Kate to sit in on a FaceTime call to meet Lauren. They enjoy themselves laughing with Lauren telling stories about young Tobin getting herself in various predicaments in her youth. 

The end their evening on a positive note, going to bed with Kate teasing Tobin about getting lost in Beijing and falling asleep in a meeting. Tobin retorts that she’s going to get Bailey’s phone number and call her for some more stories from her college days. 

 

Tuesday morning starts with Tobin being up before Kate making breakfast. She has almost every pan out creating massive amount of food that will be impossible for both of them to eat this morning. Kate walks into the kitchen and raises her eyebrows in assessment of the situation. 

“Hey babe!” Tobin happily greets her giving her a kiss. “Good morning!” 

“Morning,” Kate responds, still trying to figure out what the Hell was going on. “Are we expecting company?” she asks. 

“What?” Tobin asks. 

“Uh, you’re cooking for an army here, asthore,” Kate clarifies. 

“Oh,” Tobin frowns as she looks around. “Yeah,” she rubs the back of her neck, “I wasn’t sure what you might want so…” she trails off embarrassed. 

“What’s going on?” Kate asks quietly as she comes close to her, rubbing her low back. 

“I, uh,” Tobin starts, her eyes dancing all over the room, “I know today’s important for you,” she says quietly, not looking at Kate, “and I wanted you to have a good breakfast.” 

Kate puts a hand to Tobin’s face, raising it to see her eyes. She still sees the fear and nervousness that Tobin’s trying to mask. “This is wonderful, mavourneen, and I love it.” She kisses her softly. “Let’s eat and we’ll make plates for the guys outside.” 

Tobin releases a breath and her shoulders sag a little and she offers Kate a crooked smile. “I guess I got a little carried away.” 

Kate laughs as she starts dishing out the eggs on to two plates, “Oh, you think so?” 

Tobin laughs a little at herself, “yeah.” She smiles. She sets two cups of tea out on the island for them. 

“Just think, we’ll have nice leftovers for tomorrow.” Kate smiles at her. 

Tobin nods and accepts the plate Kate hands her. 

Tobin’s leg keeps bouncing as they eat. “What is it?” Kate asks. 

“I’m nervous,” Tobin shakes her head. “This whole situation, your day today, I want you to do awesome, I, just, this is, so-uuuggg!” she exclaims with frustration. 

Kate takes hold of Tobin’s hand, squeezing it. 

“I know this is hard, asthore, I do.” Kate says seriously, her voice low, “but we have to take each day as it comes. Every day is a victory for us. We stay safe. We do our jobs. We let the Police do theirs.” 

Tobin frowns. “I know,” she says, “I know.” She says a little more defensively. “I just, I just want to do all sorts of things with you. Like a couple. And this…this isn’t real coupley.” She says softer than before. 

Kate laughs. Tobin looks up surprised. “Tobin,” Kate smiles as she kisses her cheek again. “I don’t know what could be more coupley than this. We’re basically living together.” 

Tobin smiles bashfully. “Well maybe I just want to wine and dine ya,” she smiles. 

Kate’s eyebrows shoot up. “Well, maybe we’ll just have to dine in.” she smirks. “Oh,” she says getting up from the island. “Do you seriously eat mac and cheese for breakfast? I thought you are some sort of elite athlete.” 

Tobin laughs and shakes her head rising to meet Kate and start making plates for the cops outside. “So I went a little overboard. Sue me.” She laughs. 

 

They’re at the door, ready to depart their separate ways. 

“So, you’re introducing to me The Chipmunk tonight, right?” Kate asks Tobin. Tobin looks at her confused. “On Facetime?” Kate says. 

“Oh!” Tobin says with a laugh. “Kelley! The Squirrel!” 

Kate shrugs her shoulders, “I knew it was a woodland creature.” 

“Oh, babe,” Tobin says as she hugs her lightly, “that’s a good one.” She kisses her. “You have a kick ass day, okay?”

“I will,” Kate replies, kissing her back. “You too.” 

With that exchange, they’re out the door and to their separate vehicles. 

 

It was Day Two of whirl pooling and ice baths for Tobin. She had another ultrasound treatment, followed by some stretching from Robin. Her attitude was improved but she was anxious to get back to Kate. She prayed her testing would go well and she would be reinstated soon. She still felt some responsibility for her injuries and wasn’t sure if that was something she wanted to discuss with Jen just yet. 

Her therapy with Jen was moving forward and Tobin was feeling better about herself. Stronger. More secure. Right now, that only applied to dealing with her rape and Allison because the rest of herself was a hot mess. 

Jen worked with Tobin in a mock interview scenario to help prepare for her upcoming sit down with Annie. They went over questions and Tobin answered as naturally as she could, only getting choked up a few times. 

The went through it a couple of times and each time, Tobin answered stronger, answered with more confidence and poise. Jen remarked about her improvement and they would work on it next week as well. The they shifted gears to talk about her current situation with her stalker. 

Tobin had done some processing of it but was still questioning why the stalker had selected her. Jen suggested it was someone who knew Allison and was carrying out some weird plan. She stressed the work the Police agencies were doing to keep her safe. She stressed for Tobin to try and not worry so much about what she couldn’t control.   
Tobin left the building escorted by a female police officer and whisked away to Kate’s house. She felt a little better but still had a pit of nervousness in her belly. She couldn’t just stop and let go of her feelings. Something was going to happen. She felt it. She knew it. She just didn’t know what it was going to be. 

Kate greeted her with a huge smile. She felt her testing had gone really well and was pretty confident about it. She held a small part of anxiety about her eye test, but she felt her scores were high enough to pass. She told Tobin about each part of her exam as they ate dinner telling her exactly what she had to do and how she felt about part of her testing.   
As she explained her day to Tobin, Kate could see Tobin relax more and more. Kate didn’t realize how truly Tobin was concerned about her evaluation until she saw that. It touched her. More than she could verbalize. Before she could get emotional over it, she shifted the conversation to ask about Tobin’s day. 

 

“Oh my God!” Kate exclaimed as she looked at Tobin. 

“What?” Kelley asked, confused. “You’re already living together, is it wrong to ask when the wedding is?” she grins. 

“Zip it, Kel,” Tobin says mildly, grinning as she hugs Kate. “Kate doesn’t know you well enough to know you’re kidding. Plus, she’s a cop, so don’t get on her bad side.” 

Kelley just smiles at the two of them. “Seriously, I’m happy for you both. It sucks what you’re going through now, but you guys will get through it.” 

“Thanks, dude,” Tobin says as she shifts on the couch, her shoulder bruise still bothers her. “When when you coming out here again?” 

“I think two weeks after the bye week.” Kelley kind of confirms. “I’ll have to look.” 

“So, Kate,” she says, grinning devilishly at her, “how are you liking little Tobito’s habit of talking in her sleep?” 

Kate just grins smugly. She knows Kelley enough to know she’s trying to get a rise out of her. It’s exactly how some of her own National Team cohorts had been. It’s all in good fun. 

So, she decides to have some fun with Kelley and shut her down. 

“Well,” she draws out as she turns to face Tobin momentarily with a smirk, “it’s really hot when she’s dreaming about me.” She says as she raises Tobin’s hand that’s in hers and kisses it looking directly at Kelley. 

“Yeah, okay, ew!” Kelley sputters, “I did not need to know that!” Kate and Tobin just laugh. “Listen, I have to run, so we’ll talk soon, okay?” 

“Sounds, good, dude.” Tobin says still grinning. 

“Nice meeting you Kelley.” Kate smiles. 

“You too, Kate.” Kelley says, growing serious for a moment. “I really can’t wait to meet you in person. Thank you for being there for my Tobito.” 

“Hey, she’s here just as much for me,” Kate says quietly and nods to Kelley. 

“Later,” Kelley says. 

“Later, dude,” Tobin says and ends the call. 

They sit for a minute in silence. Tobin has a happy grin on her face. Kate is studying her. 

“What?” Tobin turns to face her, feeling her eyes on her. 

“You have some pretty amazing friends.” Kate smiles and leans in to kiss her. 

“You’re pretty amazing yourself,” Tobin states as she kisses her. 

“Let’s go to bed, yeah?” Kate suggests as she gets up from the couch, “you can show me how amazing I am.” She smirks. 

“Oh, I’ll show you alright,” Tobin grins as she takes Kate’s hand and hoists herself up. “I’ll show you a few times how amazing I think you are.” 

 

As they settle into bed, Tobi turns to face Kate. “Babe?” she asks. 

“Yeah?” Kate asks. 

“Uh,” Tobin says slowly, “so, I’ve been thinking,” 

“Yeah?” Kate asks. 

“About what we talked before,” she says slowly. 

Kate moves her hand to Tobin’s face. “Yes?” 

“I, uh, I want to try it,” Tobin sputters out as her face flushes. 

“Try what, asthore?” Kate wonders.

“What we talked about on your deck a few weeks ago,” Tobin mumbles. “like, in bed.”

“Oh!” Kate says as she realizes what Tobin’s talking about. 

Tobin is looking at her with uncertainty. “You do still want to do that?” 

“Only if you’re positive you do, mavourneen,” she says as she leans in to kiss her tenderly. 

“I do, I’m positive I want to do this with you, babe,” Tobin smiles as she kisses her back. 

Kate turns away her from and grabs her phone from the nightstand. 

“Uh, what are you doing, babe?” Tobin asks leaning over to see what she’s doing on her phone. 

“I don’t have one, so I’m ordering it.” Kate smirks, “let’s see what good ol’ Amazon has.” 

Tobin brings her hands to face, “There’s so many!” she exclaims peeking through her fingers. 

“All different shapes, sizes and colors!” Kate laughs, “You want it in Carolina Blue or maybe orange?” 

“Oh my!” Tobin exclaims, giggling with her eyes wide. 

“See, this one? So, I would put this part inside me and these ridges would massage my clit as I’m in you,” Kate explains. 

“So, it feels good for you too?” Tobin asks. 

“It feels amazing.” Kate smiles. 

“Isn’t that one, like super big?” Tobin asks a little apprehensive. 

“Yeah, this one would be perfect.” Kate clicks on a different one. “Flesh tone?” 

“Yeah, the colors seem a little weird.” Tobin admits.

“I’ll get some lube, too.” Kate states as she enters a search. 

A few moments later she turns to Tobin. “Done.” She smiles and places her phone back on the nightstand. “I’ll tell security I’m expecting a package so they don’t open it or anything.” 

Tobin nods. “You know,” she drawls, as she moves to kiss Kate. “That kinda turned me on.” 

“Oh yeah?” Kate smiles as she returns a kiss. “It did?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin breathes against her neck where she’s planting featherlight kisses. “It did.” She says as her hand lightly touches Kate’s breast. 

“What do you want to do about?” Kate asks as she feels Tobin adjust her leg in between her spread out ones. 

“I want to show you how it made me feel,” Tobin says looks at her with hooded eyes full of lust. 

“Then do it,” Kate challenges grabbing a hold of Tobin’s ass and pressing their hips together.


	29. What Have I Done?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate gets some bad news and responds terribly. Tobin is heartbroken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Dear Readers,  
> Let's not pull out the pitchforks and torches for Kate just yet. 
> 
> Angst Alert.

Kate pulls on a pair of shorts and a comfortable t-shirt before leaving her room. She’s just changed from her uniform even though she knows how much Tobin likes seeing her in it. She grabs her laptop to check her emails while she waits for Tobin to get home. Home, she thinks. I like how that sounds. Was it too soon to even ask if she wanted to move in officially with her. Probably. Them going back and forth between their places wasn’t really a bother. And after this stalker issue was over, it would be fun to explore each other’s favorite areas in their own towns. I like having my own space right now, Kate thinks. Tobin does too probably. It’s not something she’s going to bring up. 

She wants to check her emails to confirm with the college students that they would be available to work the fishing derby that was going to be held in three weeks. Tobin had gotten enthusiastic approval from Mark, the band had agreed and Jake said he’d tend bar and be head cook for the day. 

She sits on the couch in the living room to wait as she fires up her laptop. She’s smiling to herself envisioning how much fun they’ll have for the fishing derby. Tonight her and Tobin planned to discuss some fun categories to create for some silly prizes to hand out. 

She opens her personal emails up and scans to find one from the department head of Hospitality at the junior college when she sees one from Steve from work. She opens it and reads his brief message and then opens the attachment. 

She reads it twice as all the color drains from her pale face and then sits on the couch, trying to hold back tears. 

 

 

Tobin sits in her last ice bath, teeth chattering as she contemplates her day. She had the same routine as yesterday with the added bonus of running endless laps outside around the field to get her miles today. They had her only do four miles so she wouldn’t get too winded and start irritating her ribs. She felt fine during the run though so she was pleased with that and her pace. 

Shifting to the warm whirlpool. She grabs her phone to check her emails. She sees one from Steve at Interlachen PD inviting her to witness Kate receiving the Medal of Valor for bravery in rescuing her and the two girls. Tobin smiles. The event will be in a couple of weeks, so she enters it in her calendar, making sure she will be in attendance. She’s so proud of Kate. I can’t wait to see her tonight, Tobin thinks. I wonder how her day was. 

 

 

When Tobin enters Kate’s house, she is greeted by Samson with his tail wagging. She bends to greet him, petting his massive head and receiving licks, talking to him and asking him how his day was. Kate would normally come out and tease Tobin about her conversation with the canine. She straightens up, thinking maybe Kate is further in the house or on the deck or in one of the outbuildings when she notices her on the couch. 

“Hey!” she says, slightly startled. “I didn’t see you, what’s going on?” she looks at her and sees Kate’s pale face and sorrowful expression. 

“Are you alright? What’s wrong?” she asks, instantly concerned. 

Kate responds by sliding her laptop towards Tobin. Tobin grabs it, still with her backpack on her back, and sits on the edge of the couch to read the screen. She can’t believe what she’s seeing. 

“Kate? No,” she says softly. “Oh babe,” she says, setting the laptop next to her and sliding over closer to Kate. She puts an arm around her and Kate shrugs it off and stands. Tobin looks up at her from the couch. 

“Can you believe it?” Kate says angrily, “I’m done. That’s it. It’s over.” 

“How could they do this?” Tobin asks. She doesn’t know how the policies work about determining an officer being unfit for duty. 

“Obviously my scores sucked, Tobin.” Kate says sarcastically. Tobin takes it, knowing Kate’s upset and it’s not directed at her personally. She can smell the whiskey on Kate’s breath and sees the empty glass next to the couch.

“I’m so sorry,” Tobin says quietly as she stands up from the couch. 

“Yeah, so am I.” Kate says, her anger growing. “Don’t worry, it’s not your problem.” 

That startles Tobin and she flinches a little from the anger radiating from Kate. 

“Hey,” she says, stepping closer to Kate. “If it’s your problem, then it’s my problem, babe.” 

“I gave up another cycle with the National Team to be a cop. It’s in my blood,” Kate says, her voice quivering, tears falling from her face. “My family has been cops for generations. I’m the last one. And this is how I go out!” she yells. “Fuck!” she brings her hands to her face as she sobs. 

Tobin steps in closer, she wants to hold her. She goes to take her in her arms and Kate pushes her back. 

“Did you see the part where they decided I would get ninety percent of my pension because the Police medical team determined my injuries were mostly from responding to the call in April?” Kate stares at Tobin, her ice blue eyes blazing. 

Tobin isn’t sure what to do or how to respond. She’s never seen Kate this angry before. “I, I don’t understand, I got an email saying they are giving you an award for your bravery.” Tobin is bewildered. Why would they honor her and then relieve her of her duties, she wonders. 

“Why would I want a fucking award for that day?” Kate spits. “I hate that day. I wish it never happened!” she yells. 

Tobin takes a step back, she knows Kate is a little drunk and spiraling but she doesn’t know how to help her. “I thank God for that day, Kate. You saved me. It’s when we met.” She says slowly. 

Kate glares at her and then begins pacing back and forth across the living room. Samson is sitting by the piano, his posture rigid. 

“Kate, talk to me, please.” Tobin says helplessly. 

“I don’t want to talk to you.” Kate says coldly. She walks down the hall to her bedroom leaving Tobin standing alone in the living room. 

Should I go after her or give her some space, Tobin wonders. She looks around the room, please God, show me what I should do to help her, she prays. Suddenly she hears footsteps coming from the hallway. Kate is carrying Tobin’s nylon bag, she tosses it on the couch. Tobin can see her clothes are in it as Kate zippers it up. 

“Get out.” Kate orders tossing the bag at Tobin. Tobin winces as it hits her in the ribs and she grabs the bag with her hands. She’s frozen in place. “Kate, please,” Tobin’s voice is cracking, “please, don’t do this.” 

“I said, get out.” Kate takes a step towards her. 

“Kate, please, I know you’re upset-“ Tobin cries. 

“You don’t know anything!” Kate shouts as she strides to the front door and opens it. “I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to talk to you. I wish we never met!” 

“Kate-“ Tobin tries once more. 

“I said, get the fuck out of here!” Kate roars. 

Tobin slowly walks through the open door and turns around to see it slammed in her face. She walks to her car and sets the bag on the hood, while she fishes her keys from her backpack. She unlocks it and throws her bag in and slides into the driver’s seat. She grips the steering wheel with both hands for a minute as she struggles to somewhat regain her composure. She keys the ignition and glances into the kitchen window as she pulls out down the driveway. One of the cop cars follow her to her as she drives to her building and a security officer meets her at her car door. Somehow she is able to keep from crying. 

He attempts to make small talk in the elevator but Tobin only answers in single syllables. He holds the elevator door open and watches her enter her apartment.  
She throws the bag onto the floor. Kicking it hard so it skitters a few feet down her hallway. The tears start as she sheds her backpack and sits down on the couch. She holds her head in her hands as she sobs. 

 

 

Kate is spinning the cap off the bottle of Tullamore Dew as she hears Tobin’s car start in the driveway. She cries as she pours the whiskey into a glass. She practically chugs down the double and pours another one. Feed Samson, she thinks. She takes care of him and then saunters over the living room with her glass in hand. Fuck this, she thinks. Fuck everything.

Disappointing my family, disappointing my parents, they were so proud of me becoming a cop. Disappointing Jake. Disappointing her fellow cops. Well, former fellow cops. I can’t believe it. I didn’t think I scored so bad on the vision test. She sits on the couch, stewing in her thoughts. 

To think, Steve didn’t have the balls to tell me to my face, Kate thinks angrily. I thought we were closer than that. What the fuck was that? 

She gets up and paces around the living room. Tobin. Fuck that. She’ll find someone else who’s better for her than a fucked up former cop. I’m worthless to her like this. She takes another drink. She’d never want me if I wasn’t a cop. It’s who I am. Now that I can’t be a cop, what am I going to do?

She sits on the floor in the living room, Samson coming up to nuzzle her. “You’re all I’ve got, buddy.” She cries into his fur. 

 

 

Tobin wakes to a dull ache in her ribs. She gingerly sits up and rubs her face, noticing fresh tears on her cheeks. She rubs the back of her stiff neck, she fell asleep on the couch, in the same clothes she had on. I must have never left it, she thinks. She stretches with her arms raised over head, twisting her stiff back. She turns to face the kitchen and can barely make out the display on her microwave. 6:43. 

She rubs her eyes, they’re dry and irritated. She shuffles down her hall to her bedroom and heads to the bathroom. She uses the toilet, washes her hands and takes out her contacts. She strips down and enters the shower. She lets the hot water hit her aching muscles as a fresh set of tears overtakes her. She hugs herself as she cries, feeling so much despair. 

Still weeping a bit, she gets out of the shower and towels off, wrapping the towel around her chest. She looks in the mirror and is shocked by her appearance. She has dark circles under her eyes, her face is pale, eyes flat and lifeless. Just how I feel, she muses. She brushes her teeth and exits the bathroom to get dressed for the day. 

She barely finishes a yogurt, it tastes likes nothing. She tosses the cup into the trash and leaves the spoon in the sink. She grabs a Gatorade from the fridge, chugging it, hoping it helps with the headache she can feel coming on. 

She slowly gathers her things for training, placing her bag by the door with her backpack. She finds her glasses and puts them on. She fishes her keys out of the basket on the table and finds her phone. She checks it, no messages. She puts that in her pocket. She goes back to her room and grabs a hoodie and a black beanie she puts on her head. 

She stands at her kitchen island, staring at nothing, thinking about everything. She hears a knock at her door and glances at the clock. Right on time. She walks down her hallway, peers into the peephole and sees John. She opens the door. 

“Morning,” she mumbles as she grabs her bag and shoulders her backpack. 

“Hey, Tobin.” John greets softly, instantly aware of Tobin’s down demeanor. 

He makes no effort to converse as they ride the elevator down to the waiting car, neither he nor the driver speak as they head to Providence Park. Tobin mumbles a thanks as she gets out and slowly walks to the Player’s Entrance. 

He sighs and looks at the security guard who frowns as well. 

Robin sees Tobin entering the training room and raises her eyebrows. She is wearing her glasses, a beanie on her head and she slowly shuffles in without a word. Robin quietly directs her to the ice bath and whirlpool that’s set up for her. 

Tobin sets the timer and eases into the icy water without flinching. She sits there, eyes unfocused and for a moment, Robin thinks she may be on drugs or something. Tobin sighs exiting the ice bath and moves to the whirlpool of warm water. 

Tobin is listless throughout the morning routine and when she finishes with her last whirlpool treatment, Robin calls her over. 

“Why don’t you take a shower, dress in your outdoor cold weather gear and meet me back here.” She suggests. Tobin just nods and leaves for the locker room. She pulls out her phone and makes a quick call. 

Robin has no intention of Tobin going running today. She looks awful and her behavior is worrisome. She glanced over at her a few times in the whirlpool and caught her nodding off. She looks exhausted. I wonder if something happened at home and she’s not saying anything. 

About a half an hour later, Tobin reappears and Robin opens the door to her office. “Come in here for minute, okay?” she asks. Tobin shrugs and enters. She stands in the room looking as Robin produces a blanket and motions her to the couch. 

“You need a nap.” She states. 

“I’m okay,” Tobin mumbles. 

“No, you’re not. You don’t have to talk to me, but you don’t look well. I think you may even be dehydrated a little. Do you have a headache?” 

“I’m fine, just tired, I guess,” Tobin responds, refusing to make eye contact. 

“Sleep.” Robin says softly, “please?” 

Tobin looks up at her, caught off guard by her tenderness. Her eyes well up when she sees the concern etched across Robin’s face. “Okay,” Tobin says as tears threaten to spill over. She kicks off her shoes, takes her glasses off and lays on the couch. Robin drapes the blanket over her, shutting off the lights and closing the door softly as she exits. Tobin lays there for a few moments and realizes she is extremely tired. She sighs and snuggles into the pillow as she easily falls asleep. 

Robin motions to Allie, Kling and Sinc as they are on their way out to afternoon practice. “Guys, something is really wrong with Tobin,” she says as she leads them to a quiet corner away from the other players. “I’m very concerned about her.” 

“I’ll go talk to her,” Allie offers. 

“I don’t know, she’s sleeping now and when I get her up in a couple of hours, I’m sending her home. She’s spoken maybe twenty words to me today. She seems really upset, I’ve never seen her like this.” Robin explains. 

“She’s sleeping?” Kling asks, her eyebrows high. 

“Yeah, she looked like she was going to fall over. I don’t know if she had nightmares or something happened. She won’t talk.” Robin’s voice is strained. She’s upset. 

“Let’s go see her after we get out of film,” Sinc suggests. “We’re leaving tomorrow morning, I don’t like the idea of going if she’s not okay.” 

“Well, it’s Wednesday, so she should be seeing Jen, maybe that will help with whatever is going on.” Allie shrugs. 

“Alright,” Kling says, “we’ll go from here straight to her place. I’ve got a key so we’ll be set.” 

“Sounds good,” Sinc says and looks at Robin, “thanks for giving us a heads up.” 

“I’m just so worried about her. This is so unlike her.” Robin frets. 

“We’ll figure it out,” Allie promises, laying a hand on Robin’s shoulder. 

 

 

 

Kate wakes up to fur in her mouth. Her eye flutter open to see that she’s spooning Samson on her living room floor. She notices the bright daylight and slowly gets up, Samson still laying on the floor. Her laptop is open but off, the battery must have drained. She saunters to the kitchen pouring a glass of water and opening a cabinet to get out the Tylenol. She downs the pills and chugs her glass, refilling it and downing it again. She sees it’s 7:30 so she finds her phone and calls in to work, claiming a stomach ailment. What’s the point of going when she’s released from duty in a week, she wonders. 

She grabs her laptop from the living room plugging in to charge. She considers breakfast but her stomach refuses the idea of it. Instead, she lays on the couch, thinking of yesterday. Regret fills her as she thinks about Tobin and how she pushed her away. I love her, she thinks, but she won’t love me now. She sighs as the tears begin to flow. I am so fucked up, she thinks. I’m such an asshole. Sleep overtakes her internal battle of her self-worth and she fades into unconsciousness. 

“Jesus Christ! You scared the shit out me!” a voice states loudly, waking Kate from her slumber. She whips her head up in the direction of the voice, wincing at the volume and pain that lingers in her head. 

Liz is standing over her with a cop looking on. 

“I’m sorry,” Kate apologizes, feeling embarrassed. “It’s fine, sorry to bother you.” She says to the cop. 

“No problem, just wanted to be sure you’re alright,” he says, “this one over here was really concerned.” He tilts his head to indicate Liz who is still staring at Kate, a pissed expression on her face. 

“I’m sorry,” Kate says quietly, not making eye contact. She hears the cop exit the front door. 

Liz sits next to her on the couch. “What is going?” her voice softer this time as she lays on hand on Kate’s leg. 

Kate sighs, and retrieves her laptop from the counter, turning it on and pulling up the email. She opens the attachment and hands the laptop to Liz. “Just read,” she says quietly. She gets another glass of water and drinks it as she watches Liz read the document that ended her career. 

“How could- wait, what?” Liz mumbles as she reads it again. She looks up at Kate when she finishes. “Steve called me, concerned you didn’t come in today. He said he couldn’t get you on your phone and was ready to call out the cavalry. I’m sure he would mention this to me, don’t you think?” 

Kate shrugs. What’s done is done, she thinks. 

Liz pulls out her phone dialing Steve. “Hey, yeah, I’m here. She’s fine.” She pauses. “not that I’m aware of.” she answers. “Why didn’t you mention her being relieved from active duty?” she listens. “I have the document in front of me.” She listens again. “You fucking sent it, what do you mean, you don’t know?” she forwards the document back to Steve. “Don’t you do this shit in a meeting, not a fucking email?” her voice louder. “She’s a fucking wreck!”

Liz listens intently for a few minutes, nodding. “Okay, I’ll stay here until I hear back from you. Thanks.” 

Liz stares at Kate for a moment. 

“Steve never sent you that document. He’s checking now with Internal Affairs. He thinks he was hacked.” Liz informs. 

“No!” Kate whispers, her eyes wide. “Oh, no!” she cries. She backs up against the fridge, her knees buckling as she slides down to the floor. “What have I done?” she cries as she brings a hand over her mouth in horror.


	30. Murder or Suicide?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin fights for her life. Will Kate get there in time?

“What did you do?” Liz repeats her hand on Kate’s shoulder. They’re both sitting on the floor in the kitchen. 

“I-I-I told her I wished we never met,” Kate cries. “I fucking kicked her out of my house!” 

“Oh, no,” Liz says softly. 

“I fucking lost it, I was so upset, all I ever wanted to do was be a cop and then it was taken from me!” Kate sobs. “She, she only wanted to help,” she cries, her voice rising. “It’s bad enough I shut her out, but I fucking told her I never wanted to see her again!” she sobs as she leans into Liz. 

“I threw her stuff at her and yelled at her to get out!” Kate cries, her voice near hysterical. “I’m such a fucking asshole!”

“Oh Kate,” Liz hugs her as they sit on the floor. “Why did you turn on her like that?” 

“Because, because,” Kate sputters, “the letter said my injuries were from responding to the call in April and that’s why I couldn’t, couldn’t be a cop anymore.” 

“What do you mean by that?” Liz gently prods. 

“I told her I hated that day and I wished it never happened!” Kate sniffs, brushing the sleeve of her t-shirt under her nose. “She said she thanked God for it because I saved her and that’s how we met,” she says weeps, her breath hiccupping. 

“I just got so angry that it was taken away from me,” Kate whispers, “I didn’t think it would happen,” she sniffs. “Now I just fucked everything up!” They sit on the floor, Liz holding Kate as she tries to calm herself down. She’s still sniffling when Liz’ phone goes off. 

“Yeah Steve?” Liz answers. She listens quietly. “Pretty upset. Very upset. Off the rails.” She responds. “No, not like that.” She listens again, nodding at whatever Steve is telling her. “Okay, I’ll tell her.” She cocks her head eying Kate who’s eyes are downcast are she sit on the floor. “Kicked her out.” She says cryptically. Kate’s shoulders sag and she hangs her head low. 

“I know,” Liz says, “Yes, less than half the bottle.” Kate holds her hands in her head. She’s so disappointed in herself. 

“No, I’m gonna get her cleaned up and then she’s going to see her.” Liz states firmly. Kate’s head shoots up. 

“Alright, we will. Bye.” Liz ends the call. 

“He was hacked. They’re trying to trace the email through the server now to find this guy. They think it’s the stalker.” Liz says grimly. “A tech enhanced the letter on the screen and there’s a faint watermark.” 

“What’s the watermark?” Kate asks, her voice rough. 

“Very faintly it says ‘Tobin is mine’” Liz says quietly. 

“I’ve got to go to her!” Kate exclaims. “She’s in danger! This was a set up to separate us!” Kate exclaims as she scrambles up. Liz holds her arm as Kate moves away. 

“She’s safe, Kate!” Liz states, “she’s under protection. She’s safe.” Liz repeats looking into Kate’s eyes and seeing the fear. “You need to shower. You stink like booze. I’ll make you something to eat. What’s her schedule today?” 

“Uh,” Kate stops to think, “it’s Wednesday, so she sees Jen at four then home at five-thirty.” 

“So,” Liz looks at the clock on the microwave, “you have a little over an hour to get ready.” 

“Okay, yeah, I can do that,” Kate nods, she’s panicked and nervous. “Do you think she’ll talk to me?” she asks Liz quietly. 

“You won’t know until you get there,” Liz states, “but Tobin’s a pretty compassionate person, so I’d think she’d give you a chance.” 

Kate takes a deep breath. “I really hope so.” 

“Go!” Liz pushes her towards the hallway. Kate trots down the hallway. Liz shakes her head as she opens the fridge. 

 

 

“Don’t you have an appointment?” John asks when Tobin says she’d like to go home. 

“I cancelled it,” she says quietly, “I’m not feeling good.” 

John nods, “Okay, home it is.” The ride is silent, John wants to engage the woman, but she seems so fragile, so lost, that he isn’t sure it would help or harm. 

“I hope you feel better, Tobin,” he says as they arrive at her door. “Want me to check your place?” 

Tobin shakes her head, “Nah, it’s fine,” she sighs as she inserts the key and enters. 

John stands there as the door quietly shuts in front of him. He slowly walks down the hallway, his heart heavy. When he gets to his vehicle, he makes a phone call. “Hey, it’s me” he says, “no, not good at all. It’s getting too much for her, I think.” He listens for a moment. “I’m worried too.” 

 

 

Tobin shuffles down her hallway dropping her bag carelessly on the floor and the backpack as well. She sits at the island with her head in her hands. What am I going to do, she questions. Will Kate ever want to talk to me again? I love her and I thought she loved me. What we have is real. I can’t explain it, we just click. 

She gets up and opens the pantry door, removing her protein powder to make a shake. Her shaker is on the counter so she grabs it, pours in two heaping scoops and adds cold water from her fridge. She shakes up it and takes the cap off as she walks over to her couch. She flips on ESPN out of habit and sips her drink. 

That had to be such a shock for Kate, Tobin thinks. To find out in an email. I would think they would meet with her and explain her test scores and what they mean. She thought she did so well on them, too. 

I could see how should would regret answering the call that would eventually end her career. But we had, have something special. How could she let it go and push me away like that? She was just angry and in shock. Maybe she just needs a few days to cool down and reevaluate what’s going on. 

Tobin pulls her head back to look up at the ceiling. God, please, I love her. Whatever is Your will, I understand, but help me, please. Tears slip from her eyes as Tobin remembers Kate’s anger and how upset she was. Please, God, let me help her. 

She finishes her drink contemplating what she should do. Maybe I’ll send her a text. Would that be okay? Is she still so mad about everything? Does she really hate me? The fear of rejection paralyzes her. 

I’ll try tomorrow, she thinks, we’ll both have time to calm down. She nods to herself as she gets up, she stumbles from the couch. What the hell, she thinks. She’s a little woozy. What is this, she wonders. She slowly walks to the island and sets her cup down. She shakes her to clear out the incoming cobwebs. This feels like those muscle relaxers, she realizes. She grabs a water bottle from her fridge, opening and downing about half. She puts her hands on the counter leaning against it. I feel kind of out of it. She shakes her head again. 

“You’re tooooo laaaaaate!” a voice sings out in a strange, high-pitched tone. Tobin looks down her hallway to see the figure in the Allison mask. 

Tobin’s eyes nearly pop from her sockets. She straightens up from the counter, weighing her options. The balcony? I’m six floors up. My phone? In my backpack. She backs up with a hand on the counter for balance as the stalker slowly walks down the hallway. 

 

 

“What do I say to her?” Kate asks as Liz walks with her to her car. 

“Maybe just start with asking her to talk?” Liz replies. “She’s a smart, reasonable woman Kate, she’s not gonna act to shitty to you.” 

Kate opens her car door and slides in. She looks up at Liz, “But I was beyond shitty, I think I may have broke her,” she says sadly as she shuts the door and keys the ignition. Liz stands there in the driveway watching the taillights and praying all goes well. She heads back to her car pulling out her phone to call Jen. 

 

“Got everything?” Sinc asks Kling and Allie as they leave the locker room. 

“Yeah, let’s go.” Kling orders. 

Allie walks silently behind them, consumed by her thoughts. She’s been so worried about Tobin and to hear how upset she was today just about breaks her heart. She begins to pray for Tobin, for strength for whatever she’s dealing with right now. 

 

 

Tobin staggers back as the stalker begins to close the gap. Glancing around she fumbles to pull her largest knife out of the knife block on her counter. 

“Don’t come any closer!” she orders, holding the knife in front of her with an unsteady hand. 

The stalker laughs as he continues to approach her. He stops when he’s about three feet in front of her. 

“You think a knife is going to scare me away?” He laughs, “I can wait here all night for those muscle relaxers I put in your protein mix to kick in.” 

I’m so fucked, Tobin thinks. I’ve got to fight while I can. She takes a step closer, “Get out, the Police are all around here, watching me.” 

“Yeah, they are.” He agrees, “from the outside. Pretty easy to come and go when you live in the same building.” 

“Get out!” Tobin yells. “Help!” 

“Keep yelling, your next door neighbor doesn’t home until nine and the one across the hall is away on vacation.” He says as the Allison mask grins at her. 

“So, I have a question for you Tobin,” he says taking another step closer. “Should we make it look like a suicide or would you rather be murdered?” 

“Neither,” Tobin says as she lunges forward with the knife trying to slash at him. She’s clumsy from the drugs and he easily disarms her and pushes her onto the back wall of her kitchen. He sets the knife on the counter as he approaches and she swings her fists at him. He grabs at her hands, eventually getting both of them together. He locks his large hand around both of her wrists and places his other hand on her neck. He presses her into the wall, lifting her slightly as he does. 

“I heard you answer murder. Now, how many times should I rape you before I end it?” he says, his voice low, words carefully measured. 

Tobin is fighting for breath as she channels all of energy into raising her knee as fast as she can onto his crotch. He stumbles back and her feet hit the floor and she’s off as best as she can around the island. He grabs her arm as she pushes forward on unsteady legs. She feels the flash of pain in her right forearm. She looks back and sees blood. She wrenches free from him, staggering forward as she bounces her hip off one of her kitchen chairs. 

He starts to laugh and she turns back to face him as she edges toward the hallway. She puts her arms out in front of her for defense and he flicks the knife and slashes her again. She winces from the pain but keeps upright. He advances and tries to cut off the angle sending Tobin to the left to go around her couch. 

She stumbles as the drugs weaken her, the powerful muscle relaxers coursing through her veins. She wills herself to stay upright and grips the top of the couch with one hand as she steps back. He lunges forward again slashing her left arm above he wrist. 

“Aaaahhh!” Tobin cries out in pain. It’s a long and deep cut, blood flowing down her arm to her fingertips. She doubles over in reaction and feels a sharp pain in her temple. Blood starts to flow into her left eye. 

She stumbles again clearing the couch and lunges forward to get to the hallway, to freedom. He leaps in front of her and swipes the knife out at her once more. It connects higher up on her right forearm. He stops and listens for a moment. Then he pulls Tobin close to his face. “We’re not done yet. I’ll see you soon.” 

He pushes hard backwards and she flails as she hits her coffee table rolling towards the couch. He disappears from her view. She lays there struggling to get her breath, horrified at the all of the blood. Her blood. 

Gotta stop the bleeding she thinks as she clumsily reaches up to grab to the pillow off her couch. She brings it to her chest, one arm under and folds the pillow over the other arm, hoping it will help. She’s struggling to keep her eyes open, the drugs taking their toll. 

 

 

“Hey, Tobin!” Sinc calls as she knocks on the door. The three are huddled in the hallway. Allie turns to Kling, “Got your key?” 

“Yeah,” Kling answers as she digs in her backpack for them. She shakes the red one out and enters it, turning the lock. 

“Harry?” Allie calls out as she slowly enters, she glances in Tobin’s bedroom and the spare room as she walks down. 

“Harry?” she calls out louder as she enters the kitchen area seeing the protein mix on the counter. 

“Oh my God!” Sinc exclaims as she hurries to the living room. “Tobin!” she cries as she bends down near her. 

“Help,” Tobin says softly, arms gripping the pillow, blood flowing from her temple. “Stalker,” she pants, “spiked,” she breathes, “my shake.” 

“Kling, get towels! She’s bleeding!” Sinc commands. Allie comes around and pulls the coffee table away from the sofa. Kling opens drawers, grabbing towels and running them over to Sinc. She goes to back to kitchen to get more when she sees the stalker in the hallway. She grabs a knife form the knife block. 

“Have fun with her girls!” the stalker says loudly as he swiftly exits. 

“Kling! Don’t go! Call the cops, we need an ambulance!” 

Kling pulls out her phone, dials 911 and stalks to the hallway, twisting the deadbolt. She stands on the back side of the couch looking down as Sinc is wrapping Tobin’s arms in the dish towels. 

“Yeah, my friend was attacked by a stalker,” Kling says giving the address, “There’s cops outside, he just left all black outfit, about five foot ten.” She listens. “She’s bleeding badly and was drugged.” 

Allie kneels by Tobin, placing a folded towel on her temple. “Tobin, stay awake,” she urges. 

“Muscle” Tobin pants, “relaxers.” Tobin says, her breathing becoming labored. 

“She’s having trouble breathing, she thinks it was muscle relaxers.” Kling relays to the dispatcher. 

“Sit her up and hold her arms above her heart.” Kling instructs. 

Allie slides behind Tobin and leans her up against her chest. Sinc holds her forearms, firmly gripping the towels to stop the bleeding. 

“Stay awake, Harry,” Allie repeats as she rests Tobin’s head on her shoulder. Her hand still holding the towel against her temple. 

“Look at me, Tobin, keep your eyes open.” Sinc commands. Tobin nods as she struggles to stay awake. 

“So, tired,” she breathes as tears continue to fall. 

“Fight it!” Sinc insists. 

“I want,” Tobin pants tiredly, “my Mom.” 

“Help is coming, Tobin, keep your eyes open!” Kling says. 

 

 

Kate stands in the elevator with the security guard who escorted her up to Tobin’s floor. When the doors open, she takes a deep breath and steps out. They’ve only taken two steps when they see the stalker burst out of Tobin’s door and run to the stairs. 

“Call the police downstairs!” Kate orders and takes off after him, sprinting down the hallway. She clangs the door and sees a flash of black going down the stairs. She takes a few steps and leaps for him. They crash to the ground, pain shooting in Kate’s eye as she gets elbowed by the stalker during the fall. She’s landed on top of him and he struggles to fight her off. She bounces his head off the concrete and gets him in an arm bar while she knees him in the back. 

“Give me one reason not to kill you,” she growls in anger as he stops struggling and begins laughing. She holds him down as she grabs his free hand and places it on the back of his head. She hears the officers coming up the stairs. 

“10-61! Need cuffs!” she yells. The security guard is at her side talking into his radio. Two uniformed officers get to the landing and help Kate secure the suspect. They get him up and search him for weapons and walk him up the stairs to the elevator. 

Kate holds her eye as the shift commander approaches her and he checks her out. 

“That’s bruising already, you may need an X-ray,” he says. “Commander Mike Hannigan.” 

“Kate Doyle, Sergeant with Interlachen.” Kate says taking a deep breath. “We have to check on the Heath residence on six.” 

He nods. “I’ve got people there already, the meds transported one in serious condition.” 

Kate looks at him, her eyes. “Tobin,” she whispers. 

He sees her reaction, “Come on, let’s go. Some of her friends are on scene.” He gently takes her elbow and they walk up the stairs. “I’ll call John at Providence Park and Interlachen to let them know this is over. Seems like this guy is her stalker, huh?” 

“Yeah, I just hope we’re not too late,” Kate says miserably. 

She enters the hallway on six and sees Sinc leaning against the wall, head down, staring at her hands. Kate approaches her slowly. 

“Hey, Christine,” she says softly. 

Sinc looks up, tears spilling from her eyes, “Oh my God, Kate!” she exclaims and hugs her. She’s crying and Kate rubs her back to comfort her. 

Sinc pulls back, still holding Kate. “He spiked her protein shake, muscle relaxers.” She cries. “she was bleeding, he slashed her with a knife,” 

Kate pales and leans into the wall for support. 

Sinc releases her grip so she can wipe her nose with her shirt sleeve, “She was talking when we got there, but she was having trouble breathing and passed out just as the paramedics got here.” 

Kate brings her hand up to her mouth, her eyes wide. “No,” she whispers. 

“They got her loaded up and out of here fast,” Sinc says as she wipes her eyes, “Allie went with.” 

“Okay,” Kate says trying to regain control. “Are you here by yourself?” 

“No,” Sinc replies, tilting her head towards Tobin’s apartment. “Kling’s giving her statement. I already gave mine. Once she’s done, we’re going to go up to the hospital to be with Allie. You’ll come too?” 

It’s then that Kate realizes Tobin hasn’t said anything to Sinc at least about what went on between them. 

She nods, “I’ll finish up here, secure the place. Then I’ll be up.” 

Kling walks out into the hallway, looking bewildered. 

“Hey, Kate.” She says, pulling her into a hug. “What happened?” looking at her face. 

“I, uh, I” Kate starts, “I was in the hallway when the stalker left the apartment. I followed him down the stairs and we caught him. Took an elbow. I’m fine.” 

“We just missed each other by minutes. We were in the apartment when he left.” Kling says, her eyes wide. 

“So, it’s over?” Sinc asks, her face hopeful. “You got the guy?” 

“Pretty sure,” Kate nods. “Time will tell after they investigate, but it seems like it.” 

“You are such a badass!” Kling exclaims as she hugs Kate tightly. 

“We should go so Allie’s not alone,” Sinc says as she moves to hug Kate. “We’ll see you in a little while?” 

Kate nods, “As soon as possible.” It’s then that Kate notices the blood smeared on Sinc’s shirt. 

“See you,” Kling says and they head for the elevator. 

Kate watches them leaves and turns to face the entrance to Tobin’s place. There’s a couple of uniforms hanging out in the hallway, eying her as she approaches. 

She digs into her pocket and pulls out her wallet, flashing her badge. “Sergeant Kate Doyle, Interlachen PD.” 

“Yeah, we saw you come up with the Commander, you okay?” one of them asks, looking at her face. 

“Yeah, thanks,” Kate says as she enters Tobin’s hallway. The Commander comes to her. 

“We’re waiting on the Ev Techs to get here,” he explains. “Apparently, he spiked her protein mix.” 

Kate shakes her head. “Uh, can I, uh, make a suggestion?” she asks quietly. 

“Sure,” he says genially.

“Can you have the Techs bag everything? Every piece of food, everything out of the pantry, bathroom, laundry room, everything. Request funds from the Multnomah Victim Foundation to cover the cost of testing. I want to see just what this guy did to her place. Check for bugs, cameras, everything.” 

He looks at her for a moment. “Scuttlebutt says you’re the head of MVF.” 

Kate nods. “Yeah,” 

“Okay.” he nods. 

“Can you let me know when the scene is released, I’ll have Aftermath come and take care of it.” 

“Sure. We’ll take care of it, top to bottom.” He confirms. “Come on, his apartment is on four.” 

They walk out the door and head to the elevators to inspect the stalker’s nest. 

 

 

It’s near eleven o’clock when Kate quietly pushes the door open to Tobin’s room in the Intensive Care Unit. She sees Allie huddled in a chair leaning onto the bed with her head on her shoulder, arm extended to hold Tobin’s hand. Tobin is flat on her back, forearms covered in bandages. She has stitches on her left temple, she’s pale and on a ventilator. The not so quiet click and hiss on the machine keeping her breathing fills the room along with the beeping of her heart rate. She has an IV in each of her arms just below each elbow, a finger pulse monitor on her right index finger and Kate can see the tube from a catheter. 

Kate sets down the drink tray she brought in and walks to Tobin’s side. She brushes a few stray hairs off Tobin’s forehead, stroking her cool skin softly. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers. “This is all my fault.” She cries, tears spilling over. 

“What do you mean?” Allie’s scratchy voice asks. She’s in the same position only lifting her head slightly. “What happened, Kate? Something was wrong with Tobin today, everyone was concerned. We came over to check on her tonight and found her.”

Kate studies Allie, she looks tired, her eyes red rimmed from tears. Kate moves around the bed and offers her a drink. “It’s tea,” Kate says as she accepts it. “There’s creams and sugars on there.” 

“Thanks, this is great.” Allie says. 

“Can you tell me what her condition is?” Kate asks quietly. 

Allie stirs her drinks after adding some cream. “They pumped her stomach to get as much of the drugs out as they could, they double lined her IV’s to push fluids through her. She nearly stopped breathing, but the heads up of it being muscle relaxers made the paramedics intubate her quickly and helped immensely. We grabbed the bottles from her medicine cabinet and only found one type so I brought that with.”

Kate nods as she sips her tea. She sat on the other side of the bed, across from Allie. 

“The concerns are her kidneys but the nurse that came in last said she thought it was looking pretty good. We’ll know more in the morning. Her other organs besides her lungs have normal function. Her lungs are in question right now, hence the ventilator. Her heart was in an arrhythmia, it’s gone back to normal but they’re still monitoring it. Her physical condition is a huge plus. Brain activity seems fine, they’re not concerned about it, there was no loss of oxygen. They’ve sedated her so her lung function can improve as the drugs leave her system.” 

“So, cautiously optimistic?” Kate asks. 

“Yeah,” Allie nods. She looks at Kate for a moment. “Did something happen between the two of you?” 

“Yeah,” Kate says looking down. “yeah, something did.” 

Kate looks up to see Allie looking at her expectantly. Kate knows she has to tell her. If things ever work out with her and Tobin, Allie needs to know. Allie needs to know and also forgive Kate. She sighs. 

“I’m going to tell you,” Kate pauses, “please let me start by saying I’m so sorry.” 

“Did you break up with her?” Allie asks, eyes wide. 

Kate nods. She tells Allie about her family history in the police department, how many generations it goes back and how she dreamed of being a cop since she was five years old. She tells her about the performance evaluation, what it entailed and how her testing went. She tells her of coming home, reading the email, drinking a little and how destroyed she was about losing her career. 

She tells Allie about how Tobin came in trying to understand why this happened. She tells Allie how she hated the thought of that day she answered the call and saved those girls and Tobin it sealed her fate. How, in her state of mind, she hated that day and wished it never happened. How Tobin was thankful it brought them together and she turned her anger about towards Tobin. 

“I just completely lost it,” Kate confesses. “She was trying to comfort me and I turned her away and became so mean. She didn’t deserve it. I threw her out, dismissing our relationship in a split second. I broke her.” She begins to cry. She can’t bring herself to look at Allie, so she looks at Tobin, helpless Tobin, fighting for her life in front of them. 

“If I hadn’t reacted that way, I would have been at her place and this could have been avoided.” Kate says through her tears. 

Allie, to her credit, never interrupted her speaking. When Kate finally looks at her, she sees kind eyes, although there’s a hint of hostility swimming behind them. 

“I learned this morning, the stalker had hacked my Commander’s email, created the document and sent it to me.” Kate drops the bombshell. “I played right into his hands of separating me and Tobin.” 

“No!” Allie exclaims, breaking her silence. 

“Yeah,” Kate says sadly. 

Allie is silent for a few minutes, thinking over what Kate has just told her. “Kate,” Allie says quietly. “A real part of me wants to slap the shit out of you and beat you to a pulp for what you did to Tobin.” She slowly gets out of her chair and walks to the foot of the bed. Kate tightens her grip on the arm of her chair. 

“But the larger part of me wants you to stand up so I can give you a hug and tell you I’m so sorry this happened.” She steps towards with her arms open. Kate places her tea cup on the floor and bolts out of the chair, sobbing as she feels Allie wrap her arms around her. They both cry for the situation they’re in and for Tobin. 

After a few minutes, Kate pulls it together and Allie pulls her head back. She lays on hand on Kate’s wet check. “Thank you for telling me, I know that was really difficult to talk about.” Kate can only nod as she fights fresh tears from Allie’s forgiveness. Allie crushes her in another embrace and rocks her slightly as they hug. “But if you pull shit like that again, I won’t be so forgiving.” 

Eventually, they break apart and sit back down in their chairs. 

“I called her Mom.” Allie says abruptly. “She’s probably in the air right now. I called Perry, too. She’s coming.” 

“Okay,” Kate says. 

“I have to go,” Allie says with fresh tears threatening to fall. “We leave tomorrow morning, I haven’t even packed.” 

“I can stay until they get here.” Kate offers. “I wouldn’t want her to be alone even if she hates me.” 

“She loves you Kate,” Allie insists. “I have a feeling you’ll both find a way to work it out.” 

“Well,” Kate says as she shifts in her seat. “For what it’s worth, I’m going to try my best and hope she can forgive me.” 

“Piece of advice?” Allie offers. Kate nods looking at her intently. “Tell Perry and Cindy what happened between you two as soon as you can. Perry might be pissed but I know she really likes you. Cindy does too. They’re both smart and understanding women. That’s where Tobin gets it from.” 

Kate nods. “Sounds like a very good idea.” 

“Before I go,” Allie says, “will you tell me what happened to your face? Please tell me Tobin didn’t sock you one.” 

Kate offers a small smile at Allie’s joke, “Well, I missed you guys by about maybe five minutes,” she starts and relays her side of the evening. She tells Allie even more, about cleansing and testing Tobin’s place, her victims foundation and the little they knew about the stalker. 

Allie gathers her things and stands up. “Here’s Tobin’s glasses and her phone. I’d say answer it only for Thorns players or staff you know, Alex, Lauren, Dawn Scott or Jill Ellis and any of her siblings or her Mom.” 

“What about her Dad?” Kate asks. 

“That one’s up to you.” Allie shrugs. “He’s a real piece of work.” She whips her phone out and begins texting and Kate’s phone beeps a couple of times. “Now you have Cindy’s and Perry’s flight info.” 

As they hug, Kate squeezes her tight and says, “Thank you for being so kind and understanding.” 

“Thank you for being so forthcoming and trusting me,” Allie replies. “You’re so good for Tobin, I hope everything works out and I will be in your corner.”

“I’ll text you updates,” Kate promises. 

“Thanks,” she says as she leaves. 

Kate stands at the bedside, lightly running her fingers over Tobin’s forehead as she sadly looks at her. She makes a note to herself about asking the nurse if they can put some pillows under her back because of her bruises. She looks around the note room and sees a pen and some papers on a side shelf and grabs them. She sits next to the bed, drops the table lower so she can write. She scribbles notes down about Tobin’s condition, makes notes about questions to ask the doctor. On a second sheet, she makes notes about the stalker and questions to ask Steve, she figures he would be her contact to the case. 

She adds the flight info of Tobin’s Mom and sister to her phone and sets an alarm for an hour after they land so she can be awake for their arrival. 

When she finishes, she takes Tobin’s cool hand in hers, stroking it to warm it up. “Mavourneen, please come back to me,” she pleads as she starts to cry.  
 


	31. You're Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate faces Tobin's Mom and sister for the first time as they wait for news on Tobin's progress.

“Her blood tests are improved, her kidney function is good, not great but there’s still a lot of drugs in her system,” the nurse states as she checks Tobin’s temperature. 

“That’s good, she’s improving, right?” Kate asks anxiously. It’s about two o’clock in the morning. 

“Yeah, I’ve seen it before, we’ll keep flushing her system. She’s looking good.” She glances at the thermal scan. “Her temperature is a little low.” 

“Her hands and her feet seem cool to me,” Kate states. “Will another blanket help?” 

“Yeah, there should be one in the closet,” the nurse says. 

“I’ll get it,” Kate offers. “How long do you think she’ll be under and on the respirator?” 

“That I can’t answer for you,” she states as they drape another blanket on Tobin. “The respiratory therapist should be here soon to check her levels. She’ll be able to give you a good estimate.” 

“Thanks,” Kate says as she scribbles some notes down on her paper. 

“Honey, can I get you anything? Coffee, tea?” she asks. “Ice pack for your eye?” 

“A tea would be great,” Kate smiles. 

The nurse looks at her for a moment. “I recognize you,” she says, “and her,” she gestures to Tobin. “She’s the soccer player and you’re the cop?” 

Kate nods. 

“What happened to you guys, if you don’t mind my asking?” she asks. 

Kate tells her briefly what happened. 

“Please, call me Lisa,” the nurse says. 

“I’m Kate and this is Tobin, as you know.” Kate says. 

“Well, Kate,” Lisa says as she types some info in her computer, “I think Tobin’s doing good, all things considered.” 

“Thanks.” Kate says quietly. 

Lisa strides over to the closet and pulls out a pillow and another blanket, she turns and hands them Kate. “Try to get some rest, okay? Those chairs recline.” 

Kate nods. She moves over to her chair, pulling it close to the bed and sits down. She reclines a little, puts the pillow behind her head and shifts to get comfortable. 

She hears the door open and cranes her neck to see Lisa reenter with a cup of tea. “Here, honey,”

“Thanks so much.” Kate says gratefully. Kate adds a cream to it and sets it on the table next to her. 

“No problem.” Lisa says as she leaves the room. 

Kate sighs as she sits back and extends her hand under the covers to hold Tobin’s. It feels slightly warmer and Kate gives it a squeeze before she begins to softly rubs lazy circles on the back of Tobin’s hand with her thumb. 

 

Kate’s alarm goes off and she jumps at the soft chimes. She shuts it off and withdraws her hand from Tobin’s. She rubs her face with her hands and gets up, stretching the kinks out her back. Her body feels sore from last night, she’s sure she has a few bruises from her tangle with the stalker. She folds the blanket and puts it and the pillow back in the closet and then goes into the bathroom to wash up and start her day. 

Lisa enters the room with a breakfast soon after and a set of toiletries for Kate to use. “I’ll be leaving for the day soon, I saw the respiratory therapist has begun to lessen the ventilator. That’s great!” she smiles. 

“Yeah, she said if it keeps going well they might try to wake her up early evening.” Kate replies. 

“I’m really happy, honey,” Lisa says as she moves towards the door, “I’ll be pulling for her.” 

 

Kate glances at her watch and figures the two women will be walking through the door at any time. She begins to get nervous. She’s normally not ever nervous about meeting people, but in light of what she said to Tobin and knowing she would be telling them everything, she was nervous. She rubs her sweaty palms on her jeans as she paces the room for a few minutes. 

“Tobin,” Kate states as she paces, “I know I don’t deserve anything from you, but if you could just help me say the right things to your Mom and Perry, I sure would appreciate it.”  
She stops and looks at her. “And you know, if you could like, maybe start waking up, I would really like to talk to you, if you’ll let me.” 

She steps closer to the bed and lays a hand tenderly on Tobin’s jaw, “I can’t tell you how sorry I am for saying those awful things to you. I love you, Tobin. I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.” She leans in and places a kiss on Tobin’s forehead and brushes some hair that have fallen out of place. 

The door opens and Perry enters with her mother behind her, both pulling suitcases behind them. 

“Kate!” Perry exclaims as she slides her suitcase against the wall and walks towards her to embrace her. They hug and Perry introduces her to her Mother. 

“I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you, dear,” Cindy says only causing Kate to feel even worse. 

Kate turns her head towards Tobin. “She’s doing so much better already,” she says as the women approach the bed. Both instantly begin to cry and hold each other as they look at Tobin. 

“What happened?” Perry asks, “Allie told me a little but she was so upset, I didn’t get the whole story.” 

Kate tells them everything about the attack that she knows and fills them in on the capture of the stalker. She tells them about the quick Police response and ambulance response, how Allie, Kling and Sinc saved Tobin’s life. She downplays her role and explains about how they will remove everything from Tobin’s place to check for safety.

Kate explains Tobin’s condition, her improvements she’s made already and what the respiratory therapist thinks her protocol will be on removing the ventilator. She answers their questions, referring to her notes and makes a couple of additional ones to ask later. 

“I hope to hear from my Commander later today about what they’ve found out about the stalker so far,” Kate finishes. 

Perry hugs her tightly. “Thank you for everything you’ve done.” 

Kate gives her a small smile, “Ah, you might change your mind after I tell you his part of the story,” she sighs. “Let’s sit?”

Cindy and Perry sit next to the bed, each holding one of Tobin’s hands. 

“I’m going to give you guys some history in hopes it helps you understand my reaction.” Kate explains as she begins to tell them about her family’s history in the police force and how it was her dream. 

She stands and paces, glancing at both women as she relays the events of reading her email and then her exchange with Tobin. She’s hopeful when she sees compassion in Cindy’s eyes but those hopes are dashed when she sees Perry’s hard, cold ones. 

Kate slowly sits back down as she explains how they discovered the email was hacked, she passed her evaluation and how she ended up at Tobin’s in such a timely manner and why. Tears are streaming as she finishes and she looks up them. 

“I should probably go,” Kate says as she stands up, “I just didn’t want Tobin to be alone until you got here.” 

“Yeah, that would be a good idea,” Perry says icily. Kate’s shoulder slump as she heads to the door. 

“Kate, wait!” Cindy says as she gets up. She stands next to her and puts an arm around her. She slowly turns her back into the room to face Perry. 

“Perry,” Cindy says sternly, “have you listened to Tobin or seen her face when you’ve talked to her recently?” 

Perry nods, not looking at Kate. 

“Then you’ve seen how exhausted and scared she’s been.” Cindy states harshly. “Don’t you think that Kate has been feeling the same exact thing? With the added pressure of being a Police Officer trying to protect her girlfriend? Both coming back from serious injuries?”

“But Mom” Perry starts. 

“Don’t ‘But Mom’ me!” Cindy hisses, trying not to raise her voice. Kate’s shrinking under her arm from this exchange, wishing she was anywhere but here. 

“Kate has been with Tobin every step of the way. She’s held her when she’s cried, consoled her when she was worried, talked her down when she was panicked, protected her when she was scared. After hearing what Kate told us, don’t you think you’d react in a similar fashion if it were you? And don’t you think, if you stood here and laid it out to her family you would hope there would be some compassion and forgiveness?” 

Perry drops her shoulders and looks at the floor. 

“It took a lot of courage for you to tell us this, Kate.” Cindy says giving her a side squeeze. “I don’t like that it happened, but I understand why it did. I would hope I raised my daughters to be forgiving. I would hope that when you get a chance to speak with Tobin, she’ll be understanding and realize how much pain you were suffering.” She stops to take a breath. 

“And I hope,” she says pulling Kate into a hug, “Tobin realizes how worthy you are of her love. You’re a special woman, Kate.” 

At this, Kate melts into her arms and begins sobbing. “I’m so sorry,” she cries. 

“Sshhh,” Cindy comforts, “It’s okay, Tobin’s going to be okay, it’s not your fault.” That only makes Kate cry harder into her shoulder. Kate didn't realize how much she needed to hear someone tell her it wasn't her fault. Having it be from Tobin's Mother after telling her about how shitty she treated her daughter was overwhelming. Cindy squeezes her tight and holds her until she calms. 

They break apart and Kate wipes her eyes, looking up at Cindy. Cindy gives her a soft smile and rubs her back. Kate slowly turns to find Perry standing next to her who envelops her in a hug. “I’m sorry I let you down,” Kate mumbles, “I didn’t protect her.” 

Perry draws back from her, holding her shoulders, “You didn’t let me down, kid.” She says as she embraces her. “I’m sorry I’m such an asshole sometimes.” 

“Language!” her mother says. 

Kate and Perry share a quiet laugh. Perry looks at her with a small smile. “Don’t you know the Irish shouldn’t drink when they’re upset?” 

“Yeah,” Kate says, “my bad.”

Perry hugs her one more time, “Don’t do it again, okay?” 

Kate nods. "Never." 

“So,” Perry lets out a big breath, “when did they say they were taking her off the ventilator?” 

Kate continues to wipe her eyes. “Uh, the therapist said it’s a slow process, they’ve been doing it since about two this morning. She said it all depends on Tobin’s progress.”

“Did you get any sleep?” Cindy asks. 

“Yeah, some.” Kate nods. 

“What happened to your eye?” Perry asks. Kate had neglected to tell them about her flying tackle. So she does. 

“Oh my!" Cindy says her hand flying to her mouth. 

“Geez!” Perry exclaims. “Flying tackle down a flight of stairs?” 

Kate just shrugs her shoulders. 

“No wonder Tobin likes you so much,” Perry smirks, “you’re just as crazy as she is.” 

The air seems lighter in the room as they sit again. Kate is so thankful it went as well as it did. 

“Oh, hey.” Kate sys abruptly, “I’m sorry, are you guys hungry or thirsty? I’d be glad to run down and get you something.”

“I’m good, thanks dear.” Cindy says. 

“So am I,” Perry says, “We grabbed a bite as we left the airport.” 

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure.” Kate confirms. 

They chat about a variety of topics, Kate sharing how she played in the National Team and was in Beijing at the Olympics. A nurse comes in and introduces herself to them. She does a double take as she sees Tobin. 

“Uh, I’m Sarah,” she says slowly, eying Cindy and Perry. “What happened? You guys were here a couple of months ago?” 

Cindy explains briefly what happened as Sarah takes Tobin’s vitals. 

“Oh dear,” Sarah frowns, “the poor thing.” She says as she lays a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. “You know, I remember you played music when she came out of the sedation. You should do that when she comes off the ventilator. It will help.” 

Cindy and Perry nod. “Yeah, we will.” 

“She’s looking pretty good, the respiratory therapist will be here shortly.” Sarah says as she enters notes. “Her vitals are strong, so I think it’s only a matter of time. Her doctor should be coming by soon, I saw her in down the hallway.” 

“Great, thanks!” Perry says as Sarah leaves. 

“So, where are you guys staying?” Kate asks. 

“Oh, we were just going to stay at Tob’s.” Perry says. 

“Oh,” Kate says her eyes wide. “Uh, you can’t.” 

They both look at her. “Uh,” Kate explains. “It’s still a crime scene and probably won’t be released for a few days.” 

“Oh,” Cindy frowns. 

“I’m about the same distance from here as her place,” Kate offers. “You’re welcome to stay at my place, I have plenty of room for you both.” 

Perry looks at her mother and shrugs. “That sounds wonderful. Thank you so much.” Kate smiles, happy she can help. 

“Maybe later this afternoon we can run over to my place and drop your stuff off and you can use my other car.” Kate offers. 

Perry nods. “Sounds good.” 

“I think I’d feel better staying here with her tonight, if that’s alright.” Cindy says. 

“Of course, whatever you need to do,” Kate says earnestly. 

“I look forward to meeting Samson. Tobin doesn’t shut up about him.” Perry smiles. 

“Yeah,” Kate smiles. “He really likes her and he helps her so much.” 

“Really?” Cindy asks. “How so?” 

Kate explains how Samson senses Tobin’s emotions and how they went to her first game at Providence Park and he helped calm her. 

“How wonderful,” Cindy says softly, her eyes shimmering. 

“I didn't realize that was you with her on TV at the game. Maybe you should see if you can bring him up here,” Perry suggests. “Tobin’s going to be a mess when she wakes up.” 

Kate arches an eyebrow at her. Perry explains how Tobin struggles coming out of sedations and anesthesia. 

“You think I should?” Kate asks. She’s not sure. 

“Let’s ask Sarah next time she comes in,” Perry suggests. 

Kate nods. 

 

 

 

Perry sends Kate a confused look as they come up her driveway. There’s about five cars parked and people coming in and out off the back deck. 

“So, uh,” Kate begins as they exit her car, “I had some help come in and get rid of my food and everything, just like they’re doing at Tobin’s. There’s a small chance the stalker may have gotten in my place, so I’m taking no chances.” 

“Oh,” Perry frowns. “That’s pretty fucking scary, Kate.” She says quietly. 

“Hey, you get to meet my brother, Jake,” Kate smiles, changing the subject. “You’ll get a kick out of him.” 

“Kate!” a man’s voice bellows from the deck. 

“Hey, Jake,” Kate smiles and hugs him when she gets to the deck. “How’s it going?” 

“House is just about done, they just got back from the store. They left a list of stuff they couldn’t find, so you’ll have to order it later.” Jake says. “We’re doing the pavilion and outbuilding next. Should we trash the garden?” 

“Yeah.” Kate nods. 

“Jake, this is Perry, Tobin’s sister.” Kate introduces. 

“Nice to meet you,” Jake says, taking Perry’s hand. “I’m sorry it’s under these circumstances.” 

“Nice to meet you as well,” Perry smiles. 

“Nice shiner, champ.” Jake says, clearing his throat. 

“Yeah, well,” Kate shrugs, “I didn’t think, I just responded.” 

“Hope he got what was coming to him.” Jake growled. 

“Justice will be served,” Kate says evenly. Samson is suddenly by Kate’s side, tail wagging. 

“Hey, boy!” Kate greets, petting him. “Samson, greet.” she commands and he sits with a paw up. 

“Oh my God, he’s too adorable!” Perry says, going down to one knee as she pets him and receives kisses. 

“Well, come on in,” Jake says, opening the back door. “I bet you want to shower and change and get back up there.”

“So, pick any room, they each have their own bathroom.” Kate offers as she leads Perry down the hallway. “I’m going to take a quick shower and change, then we can go, okay?” 

“Yeah, I think I’ll do the same.” Perry agrees. 

Kate’s walking out of her bedroom when she sees Perry in the living room, studying the blueprints. 

“Hey,” she says softly. 

“Oh, hey.” Perry smiles as she turns from the wall. “These are impressive.” She says. “Frank LLoyd Wright?” 

“Yeah,” Kate nods. 

“Nice,” Perry replies. “So, hey, I was thinking,” Perry pauses. “Mom will want to stay up there tonight, so why don’t we just go back together and tomorrow we can take separate cars?” 

“Sounds good,” Kate agrees. 

“It’s a shame they won’t let Samson up in the ICU.” Perry frowns. 

“Yeah, I understand why though. There’s a lot of wires and stuff.” Kate states. 

“Why don’t you take that.” Perry points to a guitar case leaning against the wall. “Tobin told me she melts when you sing. That might be really helpful while she’s coming to.” 

“Don’t you think she’ll freak out that I’m there?” Kate asks, unsure of herself. She’s nervous about being there. “I certainly don’t want to intrude on you guys.” 

“I want you there.” Perry states. “You belong there. I know Tobin, if she’s sees you there, even with her all hopped up on drugs, she’ll know you’re sorry. If you were just some bitch that really meant everything you said to her yesterday, you wouldn’t show up. The fact that you would be in the room with me and Mom? I swear to God, she’ll know you’re sorry and you love her.” 

Kate looks at Perry. She sighs. “I’m putting my trust into you Perry. I’m so nervous about this. I don’t want to screw it up. I love her.” 

Perry reaches a hand to Kate’s shoulder. “I know how happy my baby sister is with you, Kate. I’ll do everything I can to make sure nothing gets fucked up on my watch.” 

Kate looks at Perry and nods. She bends down and grabs the guitar case and pops back up. “Language.” She says with a smile. Perry laughs and they leave the living room to head back to the hospital. 

 

 

 

“They’re coming in soon to test her and see if she can breathe on her own.” Cindy says excitedly as they walk in the door. “Depending on the test, they’ll extubate her.” 

“When?” Perry asks. 

“They’ve already lightened the sedation, we should watch her to see if she starts coming out of it.” Cindy instructs. 

“You should start playing,” Perry suggests to Kate. 

“Oh, sweetheart, yes, please.” Cindy smiles. “I would love to hear you play.” 

“Uh, okay,” Kate says, as she crosses the room and sets her case on the built-in couch. She opens it and pulls a gleaming black Yamaha acoustic out and throws the strap over her shoulder. 

“Come sit right here so she’ll see you.” Cindy instructs and pulls a chair to the foot of the bed. Cindy moves to the side to hold Tobin’s hand. Tobin’s now in an upright position. 

Kate studies Tobin for a moment before she begins. She’s still unconscious but there’s a slight frown on her face and Kate notices the slightest tremor in her right foot. Her arms are out from under the blankets and a hint of color is returning to her face. 

“They were able to change a setting on the ventilator so Tobin is breathing mostly on her own but the ventilator is just helping. They just want her wake up so they can explain how they’re going to do it.” Cindy explains to them. 

“Well, it’s great that it’s earlier than they thought, right?” Perry asks. 

“Yes, her vitals are very good so they want to do it as soon as possible.” Cindy answers. 

Kate fires off a quick text to Allie letting know the update. 

She begins to strum softly, getting a feel of the frets beneath her fingertips. “Any requests?” she asks. 

“Just play whatever you feel like, sweetheart.” Cindy says warmly with a smile. 

So Kate begins to strum along and mixes into an acoustic of Amazing Grace. Then she plays Let There Be Peace On Earth, remembering that night not too long ago that really solidified their feelings and how these songs meant something important to Tobin. She smiles as she thinks about as she plays, when Sarah appears with two therapists. 

“Oh, how nice!” Sarah exclaims seeing Kate with her guitar. The therapists nod as she they stand on the opposite of Cindy and Perry. 

Tobin’s foot is twitching more and her frown is growing, she moves her lead a little and a low moan comes from her throat. The therapists adjust a medication coming from one of the IVs and begin speaking to Tobin, urging her to open her eyes. Cindy is holding her hand and softly caressing Tobin’s hair. 

“Baby, Mom is here. Come on, I want to see your pretty eyes.” She says softly.

Tobin moves her head slightly from side to side showing displeasure, trying to move her legs. She’s moving her mouth trying to speak and the therapists are instructing her to relax. 

Kate moves on to softly play an instrumental of California Dreamin’ by the Mamas and the Papas as the therapists continue to gain Tobin’s attention as she wakes up. When Kate looks up, she sees Tobin’s eyes locked on her. She looks at her and offers a small, sad smile. A tear runs from Tobin’s eye and Kate’s praying the expression on Tobin’s face is hopeful. 

“Okay, Tobin, were going to test it and let you speak, alright?” she says. Tobin nods slightly, eyes still on Kate. 

“Go ahead,” the therapist instructs. 

“Sing,” Tobin croaks out her voice low and scratchy, “please.” 

“That’s good!” The other therapist exclaims. “We’re going to extubate you in a minute. This is going to be a little uncomfortable and make you feel like you can’t breathe for a moment. We’ll be watching your vitals and won’t let anything bad happen, okay?”

Tobin makes eye contact with the therapist and nods. Then her eyes are back on Kate. 

Kate takes a deep breath and begins. She doesn’t know how it happened, but it just seemed right to sing this song to her, so she starts to sing Be Not Afraid. 

“You shall cross the barren desert  
but you shall not die of thirst  
you shall wander far in safety  
though you do not know the way  
You shall speak your words in foreign lands  
and all will understand  
You shall see the face of God and live  
Be not afraid  
I go before you always  
Come follow me  
And I will give you rest”

Kate hears a sharp intake of breath and looks up to see a startled Cindy and Perry laying a hand on her Mother’s shoulder as tears come to both of their eyes. 

“Here we go,” the therapist states. 

She shifts her gaze to Tobin relax back in the bed, her eyes still on Kate and a hint of a smile on her face. She closes her eyes as they begin to pull the apparatus from her. Tobin winces and gags and coughs a few times as they pull it out.

“Good, it’s out, we’ll monitor your breathing, we’re just going to give you a little supplemental oxygen until we’re sure everything’s fine.” Sarah states as she places a nasal cannula on Tobin. Tobin's catching her breath for a moment. 

The therapists are checking her vitals and blood pressure and Sarah is watching the cardiac monitor as Kate sings and finishes the song. Tobin still has her eyes shut, her expression peaceful. To Kate she’s beautiful. She has tears brimming in her eyes so she looks up, determined for them not to spill. 

She’s just playing an instrumental when she hears Tobin again. 

“Another” she croaks, “please.” Her eyes open halfway, the hint of a smile still there. 

Kate begins to play Here Comes The Sun by George Harrison softly. She doesn’t know why, it just came to her. She slows it down a half beat so it’s not too fast and sings it softly. 

“Here comes the sun, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter  
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces  
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here 

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes  
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting  
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun  
And I say it's all right  
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun  
It's all right, it's all right”

 

“Everything’s looking good, Tobin.” The therapist says, “we’ll continue you to monitor your breathing throughtout the night. The sedatives should all be out of your system in a couple of hours. You won’t feel so out of it.” 

“Thanks,” Tobin says as Sarah puts a straw to her lips. She sucks on it realizing how thirsty she is. She nods and gives Sarah a small smile. 

“You did really well, Tobin.” Sarah says and she notes Tobin’s vitals in her computer. “I’ll see you in a little bit.” 

She stops by Kate, “That was beautiful!” she exclaims. “We should hire you to help our patients!” 

“Thanks,” Kate says shyly. 

“Sweetie, you did so good!” Cindy says as she squeezes Tobin’s shoulder. 

“Hey kid,” Perry says. 

“Hey guys,” Tobin says, her voice cracking octaves from being so raw. She looks at Kate. 

“You came.” She says. 

“I did.” Kate says nervously. “We got him. It’s over.” 

 

“You mean Kate got him, she did a flying tackle down the stairs-” Peery starts excitedly. 

“Per, we should give them a few minutes.” Cindy orders and nudges Perry to the door. “We’ll be back in a little bit.” 

“Mom did you hear Kate’s voice? No wonder Tobin’s in love with her!” Kate and Tobin hear Perry as they walk out. The hear Cindy sternly shush her. 

“It’s over?” Tobin asks, her eyebrows higher on her forehead. 

“Yeah, it is.” Kate sighs. She quickly looks up. “The stalker. I mean, we got the stalker. So the stalking thing is over.” She says nervously. 

Tobin looks at her, her glazed over eyes half open. “And us?” she asks tiredly. 

“I love you Tobin and I want to be with you for the rest of my life.” Kate says softly, tears welling. “I’m so sorry how things went the other day. I would do anything to change it.” 

Tobin clears her throat. Kate unstraps her guitar and gets out of the chair and walks to Tobin’s bedside. She offers Tobin the water and she nods so Kate brings the straw to her lips. She sucks on it and nods. 

Tobin closes her eye for a moment and opens then to look at Kate. “I love you, too, okay?” she says, her voice strained, low and raspy. “Can we talk more tomorrow? I’m super tired and kind of out of it.” 

“Of course,” Kate smiles. Tobin loves her too, she can’t believe it. “Are you comfortable? How’s your shoulder?” 

“Can you do that pillow thing?” Tobin asks, her eyes half shut. 

“Sure!” Kate exclaims, moving to the closet to grab some pillows. She helps Tobin bend forward and then places the pillows near her low back and good shoulder. 

“Ah,” Tobin sighs softly as she slowly sinks into them. “So good,”

“Can I get you anything else?” Kate asks. 

“Yeah,” Tobin sighs, “kiss me.” 

Kate leans down and kisses her softly. She takes Tobin’s hand in hers and squeezes it. 

“He was going to kill me,” Tobin’s voice wavers. 

“I know, but he can’t now.” Kate states. 

“He cut me,” 

“I know and I can’t tell you how sorry I am I wasn’t there,” Kate’s voice quivers. 

“Tell me something to give me good dreams.” Tobin says sleepily. 

“You mean how I’m going to beat you doing the fishing derby?”

Tobin chuckles softly, “I said give me good dreams, not you.” 

“Well, how about we talk about taking a vacation? Like, go somewhere?” Kate asks. 

“Yeah?” Tobin says, opening an eye halfway to see her. “Like where?”

“Alaska? The salmon are running soon.” Kate smiles. 

“That sounds nice.” Tobin sleepily agrees. “tell me about your trip with Jake and your Dad.” 

So, Kate does as she holds Tobin’s hand and softly strokes her head. Tobin’s fallen asleep a while ago, her tilted to the side, mouth slightly open, breathing peacefully when Cindy and Perry reappear. 

They enter cautiously looking at them until Kate turns and smiles. “Hey,” 

“How’s it going?” Perry asks quietly. 

Kate smiles at them, her eyes shimmering with happy tears, “Really good.” 

 

The three spent the rest of the day in the hospital room with Tobin who never woke up. Her vital signs were good, they were still flushing her system and everything was going well. 

Kate ran out and brought dinner back. Perry spent time on Tobin’s phone, answering calls and updating Allie and others. Dr. Fisher from the Thorns staff stopped by as did John from security. He and Kate spent some time in the hallway discussing the stalker. 

Kate spent some time in the lounge area on the ICU floor discussing everything with Steve. She cleared it with him to take some time off, Hell, she had accumulated so many vacation days set was set for a long time. He told her to take all the time she needed before she came back to active duty. 

It was around nine o’clock when Kate and Perry left the hospital. 

“Did you guys talk?” Perry asks her as Kate turns into her driveway. 

“Not really, I mean, she told me she loves me but asked to talk tomorrow. She was pretty out of it.” Kate answers. “I’m a little nervous about that.” She admits. 

Perry reaches over and pats her thigh, “It will be alright,” she smiles. 

“God, I hope so.” Kate says as she unbuckles her seatbelt. 

They make their way into the house and are greeted by Samson enthusiastically. Kate lets Samson out from the deck door and enters the kitchen. “Perry, can I get you anything? Water? Beer?” she asks.

“Yeah, I’ll take a beer, please.” Perry answers as she sets her purse down on the island. 

“I’ve got a few, wanna take a look?” Kate opens the fridge door. 

“Ooh! Did Tobin convert you?” Perry smiles as she pulls out a Live Oak.

“Yeah, she did.” Kate smiles. “It’s really good, isn’t it?” 

They sit on the deck enjoying a beer before they both decide to turn in early for the night. 

 

 

“She kept talking about fishing all night,” Cindy says confused. “Fish this fish that. Don't fall out of the boat. Nice cast. Where’s my pole? I need a lure.” 

Kate can’t stop laughing. She laughs for so long when she looks up, she sees Cindy and Perry looking at her. She recovers and smiles at them. “I told her about my trip to Alaska for salmon fishing before she went to sleep last night. Sorry, Cindy.” 

“Well, I think you need to take her so she can get it out of her system.” Cindy smiles. 

Kate grins, knowing they had spoken about it the night before. 

“Has she been awake yet?” Perry asks. 

“Yes, she had breakfast and then fell back asleep.” Cindy says. “They’re going to give her a little more time to rest and then get her up and moving.” 

“Mom, you look tired, did you get any sleep?” Perry asks, her voice and face concerned. It’s early afternoon and they have just finished lunch.

“I got some, but your sister wouldn’t shut up all night!” Cindy replies tiredly. 

“Why don’t we both go back to Kate’s so you can shower and nap?” Perry suggests. “I could use a nap myself,” she yawns. 

Kate feels Perry is trying to orchestrate some alone time for her and Tobin whenever Tobin awakes. She’s grateful for Perry being so sensitive ad still feels slightly awkward with them. They’re lovely women but she feels awful about how she treated Tobin and isn’t sure how everything will play out between them. 

Cindy studies Tobin, who is now laying on her side, sleeping peacefully. “Alright, let’s go for a little while.” She sighs. 

“I’ll let out Samson and feed him, where do you keep his food?” Perry asks as she fingers the keys Kate gave her. 

“In the pantry, second shelf.” Kate replies. “Thanks,” she says looking Perry in the eyes. Perry nods, knowing she’s accomplished what she’s wanted. “It’ll be fine,” she hugs Kate quickly. 

“We’ll bring dinner, dear,” Cindy says, “Anything in particular?”

“Whatever is fine, I’m easy.” Kate says. 

With that, the two exit the room. 

 

Kate sits down next to Tobin, staring at her while she sleeps. She hopes Tobin will be understanding now that the drugs have left her system and they can talk about what happened. She hears the covers rustling and sees Tobin’s foot twitching. Something’s scaring her, Kate thinks and reaches forward to grab Tobin’s hand. They’ve removed the IV from Tobin’s left hand, Kate can see the beginning of a bruise where it was inserted. Tobin’s forearms are covered in gauze from wrist to elbow and Kate sees some bruising on her neck. 

She rubs the back of Tobin’s hand and hears her moaning and mumbling quietly. “Tobin,” she says quietly, “Tobin, it’s time to wake up.” Kate wants to stop whatever dream Tobin is in before it gets out of hand. “Come on,” she says gently rubbing her hand on her hip. 

Tobin shifts her position, wincing as she lays on her back. Her eyes flutter open and she sleepily squints at Kate. 

They just look at each other for a moment, not talking. Tobin’s eyes are tired, her face still a little pale. Kate’s wearing her glasses because it hurts to put her contact in her bruised left eye. It isn’t swollen shut but it hurts to touch it. 

“You’re here,” Tobin’s scratchy voice says, filled with wonder. 

“I’m here,” Kate replies with a nod.


	32. Forgiveness & Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate and Tobin finally talk, but will they work it out?

“You’re here,” Tobin repeats, blinking rapidly as she fully wakes. 

“Yeah,” Kate replies slowly, feeling so unsure of herself and this conversation even though it hasn’t really started yet. 

Tobin rests her head back on her pillow and looks away. “You said you hated me,” she says, her lip trembling, “you kicked me out.” Tobin’s foot is twitching more rapidly. 

“Tobin,” Kate starts but she’s interrupted by the door opening and Sarah the nurse entering. 

 

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Sarah greets, oblivious of her interruption. “What do you say we get you out of that bed and in for a shower?” 

“Sounds good,” she replies evenly, voice still low and rough, eyes on Kate. 

Kate can’t read Tobin’s expression. She drops Tobin’s hand, just realizing now she was still holding it. Tobin jerks her hand back looking surprised. Her is attention is taken away by Sarah as she moves to Tobin’s side. 

“We can take this off now, your Cardiologist is satisfied you’re good.” She says indicating the telemetry set Tobin is being monitored with. “Let’s open your top here and get you free from it.” Kate pushes her chair back slowly and stands up. She moves to the side of the room and sits down on the built-in seating area with her head down. 

Tobin is quiet as Sarah gets her free from the lines and disconnects the IV leaving the port in her hand. Tobin’s looking down as well, stroking her lower lip with her upper teeth.   
While Tobin’s in the bathroom with the nurse Kate sits and ponders. Is Tobin angry? Does she hate me for what I’ve said to her? Does she remember last night? What did that stalker do to her? Did he touch her, like sexually? They didn’t mention she was raped or anything. What did he say to her? Does she feel sick? I know her vitals look good and all that but she’s a puker. Where’s that bucket? Kate spies it on the side table in the opposite side of the room. We might need that when we talk. Her foot was twitching more, is she scared? What is she scared of? Is she thinking about everything that happened? Is she scared of me? 

Sarah comes out and looks expectantly at Kate. “Did you happen to bring any clothes for Tobin?” she asks. 

“Oh, yeah,” Kate answers getting up and pulling a bag from the closet. It has a few outfits from her place that she found she hadn’t throw in the bag the other day. “Thanks,” Sarah says and heads back into the bathroom. 

After what seems like a long time, Sarah and Tobin emerge, Tobin walking slowly with a hand on Sarah’s forearm. She sits down in the chair next to the bed that Kate occupied earlier. Tobin takes a long drink of water. Sarah reattaches her IV and leaves the room. 

The sit in silence for a few minutes, neither knowing how to start their previous conversation. Kate finally decides to so something and gets up and pushes the second chair around the bed to sit across from Tobin. 

As she lowers herself into the chair, she feels Tobin’s eyes on her. She looks up and gives her a small smile. 

“Saying I’m so sorry seems so ineffectual for the amount of regret I have for the last couple of days, Tobin. I was an asshole. I said horrible things to you I didn’t mean. I was stupid to drink, thinking that it might lower the pain I was feeling. I was devastated by that email.” Kate says, her voice trembling. 

Tobin nods as she looks down at her lap. Her foot is violently thumping against the leg of her chair. 

“I don’t know why I got so angry at you. I think it was because my worst day was your best day, you know?” Kate confesses. “I just felt so gutted by it all. I’m the last Doyle in our family. Thinking that it was over only after seven years, I, I just freaked out.” 

Kate looks down, hoping for Tobin to say something. 

Tobin looks up at Kate, waiting for her to look at her. Kate senses Tobin’s eyes on her and lifts her head up. 

“Why didn’t you let me help you? Why did you push me away?” Tobin asks, her voice cracking and tears threatening to fall. “I mean, you help me so easily, so naturally. Why wouldn’t you let me?” Kate can hear the hurt in Tobin’s rough voice. 

“I tied my self-worth into my job and that was wrong.” Kate answers. “I felt that you wouldn’t love me if I wasn’t a cop. It was stupid to think that now, but in the moment, I was focusing on it. I know you’re not shallow and wouldn’t care what I did for a living, but somehow, maybe it was tied to that fact that the email directly stated the reason for my denial of active duty was because of the call I responded to. To you, it was a positive to a very negative situation. To me, at that time, it was the end of my dream and I hated it. I was selfish.”

Tobin is silent. Kate knows Tobin’s a thinker, actually listening to a conversation and then thinking about her response. She remembers what Brittani and Kling told her the morning after she stayed overnight at Tobin’s all those weeks ago. So, she waits. 

Tobin clears her throat and takes another drink of water. “Do you wish we never met?” she asks quietly.

“That was me being out of control. I swear on my parents’ graves, I never meant it,” Kate says assertively, eyes watering. "Tobin, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me." Tobin looks away from her and stares out the window. 

A few moments pass. 

“What if, in two years, something happens and you can’t be a cop anymore?” Tobin asks, her voice still gravelly from the ventilator. 

“I became a cop to help people, protect people.” Kate says slowly, “the family tradition was a huge part, too, but ultimately, I did it because I wanted to serve and be helpful, make a difference in someone’s life.” She clears her throat. “I know that I can do that still without being a cop. I know that I’m on borrowed time with my eyes and my aneurysm. I know that there’s no guarantee of how much time I’ve got to have it.” 

She watches as Tobin’s lip begins to quiver and her hands nervously rub her thighs, foot continuing to thump against her chair. 

"What if this is too much?" Tobin asks. "What if I can't make it back because my head's so screwed up? Or if I do have a problem with my legs that they haven't figured out? What if I can't play again?"

"Then I will be right beside you every step of the way helping you figure things out and adjusting to whatever happens, if you'll let me." Kate answers steadily, looking into Tobin's eyes. 

“Do you really want to be with me?” she asks, her eyes searching. “I’m a mental case.” Tears falling now. 

“Tobin, I love you." Kate declares firmly. "You’re not a mental case. You’re a woman who has gone through some really traumatic experiences in a very short time. I want to be with you all the time. No matter what.” Kate confesses, “I want to do everything with you. I want to laugh or cry and be happy or sad with you. I want to see new things and share old things with you. I want to just do nothing or go out and be crazy with you.” Kate’s tears begin to fall, “Tobin, I want you. I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life.” 

Tobin begins to cry harder, bringing a hand to her ribs. Kate slides out of her chair, knees on the floor and takes Tobin in her arms. They both cry, they cry for the hurt they feel, they cry for the regrets they have. They cry so they can begin to heal from it all. 

When they’ve both recovered, they talk quietly with Kate filling Tobin in on how the email was faked by the stalker, how Allie, Sinc and Kling came in just at the right time. Before Kate continues telling Tobin about the stalker, Tobin insists on a FaceTime call to Allie. Allie’s in her hotel room with Lindsey and they both are overjoyed to see Tobin. Soon most of the players are in the room and the phone is being passed around for everyone to say hello. Tobin sheds some tears talking to Allie, Sinc and Kling thanking them for saving her life. She’s overcome with exhaustion from the emotional call when they hang up thirty minutes later. 

 

“His name is Tony McCall. He had an apartment in your building under a different name and another across town where he officially lived. They linked him to Allison. He was just as meticulous as she was in regards to what he was doing to you. He and Allison were a couple. He’s her mysterious boyfriend.” 

Kate and Tobin are sharing one of the chairs, Tobin laying on Kate’s lap with her head on her shoulder. They’ve reclined the chair and have a blanket covering them. Tobin had just asked Kate about the stalker. 

“Everything in your place is being tested because he had notes about how he was going to drug you and possibly do more things to make you sick. So, everything’s been removed and replaced new. I have may have gone a little overboard on that.” 

Tobin’s quiet for a moment and then turns to nuzzle into Kate’s neck, “Babe?” she asks, “I know we should talk about this, but can we later? I just want to lay here with you.” 

A minute passes with Kate stroking Tobin’s arm. 

“Were you here yesterday?” Tobin asks, “When I woke up? Playing music and singing?” 

“I was. I was here all night with you. Allie had to leave so I stayed.” Kate replies. 

“Oh,” Tobin says. 

“Did you talk to me about fish?” Tobin asks, confused. 

Kate laughs. “Yes, that was later, I told you about my fishing trip in Alaska.” 

A moment passes. “Uh, I told Allie, your Mom and Perry about everything that happened. The letter. Me kicking you out.” Kate says quietly. 

Tobin’s head pops up and she stares at Kate, “You did?” her eyes full of fear. 

Kate nods. 

“What did they say? How did they react? If Perry was mean to you” Kate puts a finger on Tobin’s lips to silence her. 

“They were upset, which is understandable.” Kat says, “Perry was a little angry and got over it, but your Mom,” she can feel the tears beginning. 

“Kate?” Tobin’s eyes are wide. She looks panicked. “I’ll talk to them, I’ll tell them everything’s fine, I’ll” Kate puts her fingers to Tobin lips again. She wipes her eyes with her free hand. 

“Your Mom is amazing, Tobin.” Kate says with shimmering eyes. “She was so understanding and loving, I couldn’t believe it.” 

“Yeah?” Tobin asks with sleepy eyes and a grin. After a minute her grin fades. “What about Allie?” 

“Allie was awesome,” Kate replies softly. “She listened to everything and then threatened to slap the shit out of me. But then she hugged me. We’re good.” 

Tobin lets out a tired laugh, “That sounds like Allie.” She yawns. 

“Mavourneen,” Kate kisses the side of Tobin’s head. “Just sleep and I’ll hold you.” 

Tobin sighs and Kate can feel her relax a little. Tobin’s been tense since she’s laid on Kate’s lap. She tightened up hearing about the stalker, her body going somewhat rigid. 

“Kate?” Tobin asks, her voice still low and scratchy, “I don’t feel right,” she says, barely above a whisper. 

“How?” Kate asks quickly, thinking Tobin was going to vomit. 

“I’m still so scared and I don’t know why, I mean, I know the stalker is in jail.” Tobin says as she begins to cry softly. Kate strokes Tobin’s back lightly and squeezes her hand that are joined. 

“It’s normal to feel that way, asthore,” Kate comforts quietly, “it’s very normal.” 

Tobin sniffles a little as she calms down after her confession. 

“Would you like to talk to Jen today?” Kate asks, thinking that would be very useful. 

“Yeah,” Tobin replies and Kate can feel her nodding against her neck and chest. “I feel a little out of control.” 

Kate reaches for her phone and texts Jen. 

“I feel like I’m afraid of everything now.” Tobin’s voice cracking, tears starting again. 

“That’s understandable,” Kate reasons, “please don’t think that’s weird to be feeling that way.” She strokes Tobin’s back lightly. “You’ve been through a lot.” 

“I feel so weak,” Tobin mumbles. 

“Mavourneen,” Kate says, shifting her hand to place it under Tobin’s chin and lifting it so she can see her. “I’ll be here every day to help you feel stronger. We’ll do this together.” 

Tobin looks at her with shimmering eyes. “I love you,” she says softly. 

“I love you too,” Kate replies and kisses her gently. “Now sleep, asthore.” 

Tobin gives her a small smile and lays her head back down. Within five minutes Kate can feel Tobin’s body relax as she sleeps. A few minutes later, Kate herself sleeps. 

 

Kate is awakened by a hand on her shoulder, nudging it slightly. It’s Jen smiling down at her. 

“Hey,” Kate greets softly. 

“How are you?” Jen asks. 

“Perfect,” Kate gives her a huge smile, she knows undoubtedly that Liz would have called Jen and filled her in on what was happening. Jen rubs her shoulder. “I’m so glad,” she replies. 

They wake Tobin up and visit a little and then Kate wanders down to the visitor’s lounge so Jen and Tobin could talk. It’s located right off the elevators and Perry texted her back saying they were bringing dinner and would meet her there. 

They arrive about thirty minutes later and they eat together. Both women can sense things went well between Tobin and Kate and Kate can’t help herself from smiling the hole time they talk. Finally, Perry couldn’t help herself. 

“So, tell us?” Perry says, her eyes wide. “What happened? You guys good?” 

“Perry,” her mother chides softly. 

“It’s alright,” Kate smiles, nodding. “We’re good. We talked. We’re cool.” 

“Oh my God, you even answer like Tobin!” Perry dramatically exclaims with a smile across her chest. “We talked, we’re cool,” she says impersonating Tobin’s low voice and inflection. 

Kate laughs. She’s feeling more comfortable around the women. Especially now that her and Tobin are on solid ground. 

“Kate, dear,” Cindy says, “you have such a lovely house. Thank you so much for offering us to stay there.” 

“Thank you,” Kate smiles. She can’t stop smiling. “You’re very welcome, I’m so glad you agreed to stay.” 

Cindy asks about the house design and Kate tells her how she and her father designed it together over the years. She left out the part of her tearing up the plans and her Dad putting it back together. She told them her love of Frank Lloyd Wright designs and where his style is featured throughout her place. 

Jen sticks her head in and Kate rises to meet her. She introduces Jen to Cindy and Perry and they invite her to sit. Jen agrees saying she’d like to bring them up to speed a little about Tobin and how they can help her. Jen explains that Tobin’s fearful reaction is very normal and will take a little time to recover from. She departs after fifteen minutes and the three women head back to Tobin’s room. 

They enter the room and find Tobin standing across the room looking out the windows, one hand on her IV pole. Kate holds back her instinct to rush to her and hold her and allows Cindy to take Tobin in her arms. She knows that nothing replaces your Mom’s touch. It makes her miss her own Mother, but she’s grateful to hear and see Tobin receive what she needs from her Mom. 

The hug for a few moments and Tobin turns to face Perry and Kate. “Hey guys,” she says softly wiping her eyes with a finger. 

“Hey,” Perry says slinging an arm around her. 

“So, have they said how long I’m in here?” Tobin asks looking at them. Kate shrugs her shoulders and looks at Perry and Cindy. They shrug. 

“We’ll ask.” Cindy promises. Tobin nods, her shoulders slightly slumping. Kate doesn’t notice if Perry or Cindy pick up on it. 

“Did you eat your dinner yet?” Kate asks. Tobin shakes her head. “My stomach is a little jumpy.” She says softly. Kate nods. “You gonna be sick?” Tobin shakes her head. 

“Want to watch a movie? I brought my laptop and a HDMI cable, we can hook it up to the TV?” 

Tobin smiles softly at Kate. “Yeah,” she says and turns to her mother and Perry, “she picks the best movies, is that cool with you?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Perry says as her Mother nods. Tobin turns back to Kate. “Pick something fun?” 

“So much pressure,” Kate says smiling as she goes to her backpack to pull out her stuff. 

So that’s how they found themselves, Tobin curled up on Kate in one chair, Cindy in another and Perry in another she snagged from an empty room on a June evening watching Christmas In Connecticut starring Barbara Stanwyck and Dennis Morgan. 

Cindy smiles watching the movie, Perry is intently watching and Kate can feel Tobin is sleeping. Her warm breath puffs on her neck. Her hand laying on Kate’s stomach. Her foot finally stopped twitching about a half an hour into the movie. She feels Tobin flinch and mumble softly and Kate rubs her back under the blanket covering them. Tobin nuzzles closer and sighs. Kate looks over to see Perry watching them with a small smile on her face. She smiles back and then sees Cindy looking at them as well. Kate moves her eyes and focuses back on the movie. 

 

“I’ll be okay,” Tobin says giving Kate a quick kiss. “I’m tired, I’m just going to sleep. Don’t worry.” It's a couple hours after the movie and the women were headed back to Kate's place, with Tobin insisting she's fine to spend the night alone.

Tobin’s trying to convince Kate to go home with Perry and her Mom instead of staying the night at the hospital. “You’re sure?” Kate repeats. Tobin nods, “Yes, please, go sleep at   
home. I bet Samson misses you.” 

Kate sighs, knowing Perry and Cindy are waiting for her in the hallway, both of them offering to stay as well. 

“Alright,” she says, kissing Tobin again. “Have a good night, I love you.” 

Tobin kisses her back, “I love you, too. I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Yes,” Kate answers, “Later, I have some errands to take care of.”

“Okay, I’ll see you,” Tobin smiles. “Good night,” 

“Good night, mavourneen,” Kate says leaving her with one last kiss as she leaves the room. 

 

 

“So, I’ll text you when I’m finished with my errands and see where you’re at then?” Kate asks Perry as they eat breakfast. “I’m not sure how long I’m going to be.” 

“Yeah, we’ll just come right back here if you’re not done.” Perry agrees. “I’ll let you know when we have an idea of when she’s getting out.” 

“I just think it’s too soon for her to be getting out, don’t you?” Cindy says, looking at them. “It was only yesterday she came off the ventilator,” she shrugs her shoulders. 

“Well, you know how hospitals are, get them up and get them out.” Perry states. “But they’ve monitored her, she’s been off the oxygen since yesterday right before dinner, her heart is fine, no head injuries.” 

“I know how you feel,” Kate agrees, “I just want to keep her there to be sure.” 

“Well, they wouldn’t let her go if they didn’t feel if she was okay,” Perry declares, “so, she’s going to come back here, right?” 

“Well, yeah,” Kate says, “I mean I didn’t exactly ask her, but she can’t go back to her place yet.” 

“When do you think the Police will release it?” Cindy asks as she gets up to pour herself another coffee. 

“It could be a week or so,” Kate responds. 

As she’s getting her backpack together, Kate has a thought. “I have travel mugs here,” Kate points to a cabinet, “so if you want to take your coffees to go, you can.” 

“Oh, good, I think I will,” Cindy says, “this is really good,” she raises her mug. Kate smiles and then looks at her watch. “Oh, I have to go,” she says, “I’ll see you later,” 

Cindy gets up and hugs her, “Have a good morning, sweetie, we’ll see you later.” 

“Thanks, you too,” Kate says as a warm feeling spreads through her chest. She fist bumps Perry on her way out. 

 

Kate’s first stop was her department to meet with Steve and review what they’ve learned about the stalker. She takes notes as they go over everything. She doublechecks her report on the incident and submits it. Then she went to Tobin’s apartment to meet with the Evidence Team and double check what they’ve photographed and taken away for testing. She got permission to retrieve Tobin’s clothing and packed two suitcases of a variety of clothes, hats and shoes for her.

From there she went to see Jake and Cath to speak with them in person on everything that happened. Then she stopped by Providence Park to see John and check in with him. They met for longer than either one of them expected, even having lunch together. John was very encouraging asking Kate for her opinion on some of his safety concerns. They walked around the empty park with John explaining different areas of concern and sharing his ideas to make it safer for all of the players. 

Perry texted her that Tobin’s been released and they were headed back to her place so she should just go there. 

When Kate pulls in her driveway, she smiles seeing her other vehicle parked next to the house. They’re home, Kate thinks. She parks and grabs her bag and enters through the deck door. “Hey guys,” she greets as she sees Perry and Cindy watching a tennis match on TV. They greet her back and she sees Tobin in the kitchen, chopping vegetables and watching a skillet. 

“Hey, babe,” Tobin greets and does a doubletake when she sees Kate’s outfit. Kate’s wearing black dress slacks with a white silky shirt tucked into her pants and black low-heeled pumps. Her badge attached to her black belt. Her hair is down, she’s wearing light makeup and her silver, mirrored aviators. Kate takes the glasses off and comes around the island to stand next to Tobin. 

“Hey, asthore,” Kate says as she kisses her, “how are you doing?”

“I’m, uh, I’m, er,” Tobin sputters, “You look amazing!” She exclaims, smiling.

“Thanks,” Kate replies as she looks around. “You’ve got a lot of things going on here,” she says taking a piece of chopped carrot, “whatcha cooking?” She looks at Tobin intently, although she kept her tone light, Kate was concerned. She noticed Tobin’s stiff posture when she entered the kitchen, she sees Tobin’s eyes dancing around as she tries to focus on her tasks. Something’s not right and Perry and Cindy haven’t caught it, she thinks.

“Uh, I thought I’d make some fajitas and Spanish rice,” Tobin says as she starts cutting vegetables again, not looking at Kate. Kate moves in closer and lays a hand on Tobin’s back. 

“What’s really going on, mavourneen?” Kate asks quietly in Tobin’s ear. Tobin stops moving the knife through the pepper and sets it down. She looks at it and sighs. “I’m nervous,” she forces herself to say, still feeling like her emotions are too big for her speak to anyone about. “Scared,” she whispers. 

Kate begins to rub her back, “Think if you chill a little that might help?” 

“I know you don’t want to take the Valiums they gave you.” She adds. 

“Yeah,” Tobin agrees, “I just feel like he could pop out at any time, you know?” she shudders as she thinks and Kate can see goosebumps appear on her muscular arms. Kate turns Tobin so she can rub her arms lightly, she turns the burner off for the skillet and moves the skillet to another burner. “Come on,” she says, taking Tobin’s hand and leading her out of the kitchen and down the hallway to her bedroom. 

They enter the bathroom and Kate tells Tobin to hop up on the counter. She leaves the room and returns a moment later and shuts the door and turns on the exhaust fan. She produces her bowl and a lighter, brings it to her lips and lights and inhales. She holds it for a minute and then exhales up into the fan. She hands it to Tobin with a smirk and Tobin smirks as she lights and repeats what Kate did. 

 

As soon as Tobin exhales, Kate leans in and kisses her. Like, really kisses her. She runs her hand through Tobin’s hair and the both let out a small moan as Kate hand drifts to Tobin’s chest. She pulls apart to look at her. 

“Better?” she asks. 

“Better,” Tobin replies with a small grin. 

Kate takes her hand and leads her out of the bathroom to a small display on the wall in Kate’s room. “This is the security system I had put in. It’s connected to every door and window in the house. The display will show what’s been opened and it is linked to instantly call the Police after thirty seconds if it isn’t unarmed.” 

She leads her to the front door, a similar display on the wall next to the door. “Here’s another one if you come in the front.” 

She leads her to one in the back for the door by the deck, “Here’s another one. It’s simple to arm and unarm,” she explains, feeling Perry and Cindy’s eyes on them. “Hit Arm or   
Disarm and enter the code, then then hit Run. This red button is a panic button. If ever you need the Police, hit it.” 

She moves her hands to circle each of Tobin’s biceps. “This house is safe, it has motion detectors on the outside lights, cameras to track any movement, me with a gun and a great guard dog.” Tobin nods. 

“You’re safe here, mavourneen,” Kate says as she leans her forehead against Tobin’s. “I want you to feel safe here,” she adds quietly. 

“Thank you,” Tobin breathes. “I needed that,” she says as she kisses Kate. She looks over to the couch, “That’s some guard dog you got there, Kate,” she grins. Samson is spread out on his back with his massive head in Perry’s lap, Perry stroking his belly. He’s taking up most of the couch. They laugh looking at him. 

They head back into the kitchen and Tobin resumes her meal prep. “I’m going to change real quick,” Kate says as she heads out of the kitchen. 

 

“So then, she painted the back fence to look like a soccer goal! Dad was so pissed!” Perry laughs elbowing Kate as they do the dishes. Cindy and Tobin are laughing as they wrap up leftovers. 

“Hey!” Tobin exclaims, “I had to repaint that whole fence! It took me, like, a week!” 

“Yeah and then he bought you a soccer goal!” Perry exclaims. “Tell me he didn’t spoil you?” 

Tobin shakes her head, laughing. 

Their dinner was good, great even, with the stories of young Tobin being tossed around by Perry and her Mother. Kate hadn’t laughed like that in a while. As dinner ended, Perry declared that next time they came in to town they must have dinner with Jake and Cath so they could hear some young Kate stories. After Perry said that, the smile on Kate’s face couldn’t be wiped away. 

After hanging out and talking around the table for a couple of hours, Perry and Cindy say goodnight. They both have morning flights out to get back home. Kate learned of it during dinner, raising an eyebrow but not commenting or judging. By the way Tobin brought it up, Kate felt that she had initiated their departure. She let it go, thinking back to prior conversations about how Tobin felt about them being taken from their own lives because of her. She got it. 

They went to bed exhausted and Tobin was asleep before Kate made it to the bed after changing into her pajamas. She slid in next to Tobin and felt Tobin instantly curl towards her. She moved closer and brought an arm over and held her. 

They awoke to Tobin’s alarm Kate confused as to why they were up so early until Tobin mumbled sleepily something about saying goodbye. 

Perry and Cindy insisted they would get breakfast at the airport and not to worry about them. Hugs were exchanged and a few tears were shed with promises to FaceTime daily as things got back to normal. 

Tobin stood at the door watching the Uber drive them off to the airport. She stood there for a few minutes after, just staring out the door, the chilly morning air causing Kate to get a bit cold. “Tobin?” she says. Tobin doesn’t answer. 

“Tobin?” Kate repeats. 

“Mmm?” Tobin replies, still looking out. 

“Are you okay?” Kate asks as she lays a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin turns to her with a slight frown on her face. “Yeah,” she says, stepping back from the door, “I just feel a little bad causing them so much stress.” She closes the door. “I just,” she sighs, “I just want to get back to normal.” 

Kate rubs her back, “It will, mavourneen, it will.” 

Tobin nods, “I know, it might take longer than I want, but it will.” She smiles tiredly. “So, you want to go back to bed for a while?” 

Kate smiles, “Only if we cuddle.” 

“I was counting on it!” Tobin smiles.


	33. Running To Heal & UFOs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin makes a quick decision and while Kate agrees she's concerned. They experience a new level of closeness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut Alert. Like, pretty serious smut. If you don't like the smutty stuff, well, I don't know what to say. If you're in to smut, I hope you enjoy.

They ate a leisurely late breakfast and spent the afternoon doing not much of anything. They were on the couch, at opposite ends with their legs tangled, Tobin was on her laptop, her glasses perched on her nose and Kate dozing off and on while watching a Cubs game. After hearing Tobin’s ‘hhmm’ for the fourth time, Kate looked over at her. She was squinting as she concentrated on the screen with a hand to her chin stroking it with her thumb and index finger. 

“Whatcha looking at?” Kate asks. 

Tobin looks up at her. “Were you serious about going to Alaska?” 

“Yeah, I mean,” Kate answers, wondering where this is coming from. “sure.” 

“Would it be okay for you to be off work?” Tobin asks seriously. 

“You mean, like, now?” Kate asks, surprised. 

“Yeah?” Tobin shrugs. 

Kate looks at Tobin who is looking back at her expectantly. She wants to get away, she thinks. A change of environment. But she said she’s scared of everything, how would this help her, she wonders. She sees Tobin’s expression changing from expectant to serious. 

Kate grabs her phone from the side table, lift Tobin’s legs and scoots over next to her with Tobin’s legs on her lap. 

“So, I have that festival I’m supposed to be at on Friday, but it would be okay if wasn’t there. The rest of the band can carry it. I haven’t been with them in a while anyway, so it would be fine.” She says as she goes through her calendar. “The weekend after that is the fishing derby here. That’s it.” 

“You could go?” Tobin asks excitedly. “I mean, would you like to go?” 

Kate looks at her. “Okay, yes I could go and yes I would like to go.” 

“Rad!” Tobin exclaims and starts typing. Kate lays a hand on Tobin’s shoulder. “I have a few concerns first, okay?” 

“Okay,” Tobin smiles and shuts the laptop. “I’m all ears.” 

“Care to share where this idea came from?” Kate asks. 

“You,” Tobin answers with shrug, “you told me about your trip and I want to go.” 

“Okay,” Kate says slowly drawing out the word. “But, you told me how scared you’re feeling and I’m concerned Alaska might overwhelm you. It’s an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people, we’d be out in the wilderness and I’d be awfully upset for you if you were struggling with that.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Tobin replies, her eyes downcast. “there’s that.” She blows a breath out of her open mouth. 

“Hey,” Kate says softly lifting Tobin’s chin up to see her eyes, “I’m not saying no or anything, I’m just thinking, you know? I love you and I don’t want an awesome trip like this to be a bad thing for you mentally.” 

“Okay,” Tobin replies. “That’s fair.” 

“So, now, would you tell me what’s really behind this?” Kate asks as she moves closer. 

Tobin is looking down again, formulating her response. Kate watches as Tobin tilts her slightly to the left and then the right as if having her own internal conversation. 

Tobin takes a deep breath, lets it out and looks up at Kate. “It’s been nearly five months since my original injury. I haven’t stepped on the pitch to play a game yet. My fitness is good, but it will take a while for these bruises and cuts to heal and then get back into form and back with the team. I just want a break.” She says with a trembling voice, emotions starting to catch her. 

“A break from being scared and nervous. A break from knowing I’ll have to take baby steps to even feel comfortable enough to go out for a fucking cup of coffee. A break from being scared that every fan that approaches me could be a crazy stalker. A break from the media, who will want to know every detail of my life and what happened and will be all over me once I return. A break from sponsors who want me for this and that. A break from analyzing myself and my feelings. Every. Single. Day.” She finishes with tears rolling down her cheeks. 

Kate moves the laptop off Tobin’s legs and pulls her in to hug her. They sit for a few minutes as Tobin slowly calms herself and wipes her eyes. “I just feel like if I try to go back right now, I’ll be even more overwhelmed than am I now? Does that make sense?” 

Kate nods slowly realizing how much Tobin has been holding this in. She realizes the pressure Tobin is under. “Yeah, that makes a lot of sense to me, mavourneen.” She says, kissing her cheek and wiping away a stray tear. 

Tobin runs her hand through her ponytail and looks at Kate with a lopsided smile. “I told you I’m a mess.” 

“I told you that I love you.” Kate says seriously. “And part of that commitment means to be with you and support you. You feel you need to go, then let’s go. I can get the time off, Jake can watch Samson.” 

“Really?” Tobin asks, clearly surprised. 

“Really.” Kate answers holding her hand up, palm facing Tobin. 

“Business first though,” she says. Tobin looks at her squirming with excitement. “Who do you need to talk to about making this happen on your end?” 

“I think I want to talk to Jen first and get her blessing.” Tobin replies. “It’s important to me that she knows how I feel right now and why I want to do this.” 

Kate nods, surprised by Tobin’s answer. She would have thought she’d be calling the Thorns staff. Kate sends off a quick text to Jen. 

“Okay, who else?” Kate asks. 

“Gavin, Mark, Sinc, Allie, Kling, Alex, my Mom and Perry.” Tobin answers quickly. 

Kate’s phone chirps. “Okay, where’s your phone? Jen’s calling you in five minutes.” 

Tobin shoots off the couch and gets her phone from the island, passing Kate on the way back and giving her a quick kiss as she walks to the living room to talk to Jen. She appears twenty minutes later, while Kate is scrolling through the websites Tobin had pulled up on her laptop. 

“So, this is really happening?” Tobin says excitedly. 

“It’s really happening.” Kate smiles and puckers her lips for a kiss. Tobin bends down and kisses her much more passionately than she expected. 

“Jen said her only wish was to be somewhere that has access to a phone in case I need to call her for help dealing with anything.” Tobin says as she heads back to the living room to complete her calls. 

“I’m on it.” Kate smiles as she watches Tobin walk down the hallway. 

 

Over dinner, Tobin can’t stop smiling. “I can’t believe how Gavin came through for us,” she says, a hint of awe in her voice. When Tobin called Gavin and explain her feelings and what she wanted to do, he immediately okayed it and asked her to give him a couple of hours to see what he could do. When he called back, he told her to check her email for her itinerary. They were leaving late tomorrow morning on a direct flight from Portland to Anchorage with an overnight stay at a bed and breakfast, then being picked up for a short flight to Susitna, population 18. They would stay at a small fishing resort just steps away from the Susitna River, returning on Friday afternoon. 

Tobin made her other calls, catching Allie alone at first and then Sinc and Kling on FaceTime and talking to them before their game. They talked for almost an hour with Tobin expressing herself and how she just needed a break before getting back to normal life and trying to find what that would be for her now. To their credit, they were understanding, they asked many questions and listened. Kling was worried, she could tell, but she was trying to hold back. 

“Gotta say, Alex kinda freaked me out a little.” Kate confesses with a grin. 

Kate was still on the couch while Tobin was in the living room talking to her sister when her phones chirps with a FaceTime call from an Alex Morgan. How did she get my number, Kate wonders as she presses Accept. 

“Hey Kate,” Alex says trying to stay calm, “how’s it going?” 

“Uh, good, Alex,” Kate replies, confused. “How are you?” They’ve only FaceTimed a couple of times with Tobin, so this was unusual.

“Kate, I’ll get to the point,” Alex says, straightening her shoulders and squinting at her. “What’s this I hear about Tobin going off to Alaska?” 

Wow, Kate thinks, news travels fast with the National Team. “Well, um, see Tobin wants to take a break and go fishing.” 

“Is that so?” Alex challenges. There’s no hostility in her voice, but Kate can see some in her eyes. 

“Would you like to talk to Tobin about this? She’s on the phone but I can have her call you.” Kate offers diplomatically. 

“No, that’s fine.” Alex says, “who’s idea was it?’ 

“The vacation or Alaska?” Kate asks. She’s wondering where this conversation is going. 

“The vacation.” Alex says firmly. 

“Tobin’s.” Kate shrugs. 

Alex’s shoulder slump a little. “So, you’re not whisking her away or anything?” 

“No?” Kate is confused. 

“I’m sorry,” Alex confesses. “I was under the wrong impression, Kate. I thought maybe you were taking her away from all of us and trying to convince her not to come back or something.” 

Kate shakes her head. “Alex, I’m really confused right now, what’s going on?” 

Alex sighs, “I got a text saying you were taking away Tobin and maybe not coming back?” 

“What?” Kate yelps, “Who sent it?” 

“That’s not important, I’ll deal with her later.” Alex says. “I’m sorry, can we start over?” she asks sincerely, her eyes hopeful. 

“Yeah, sure,” Kate says, still wondering what the Hell is going on. 

“Hey, Kate, it’s Alex,” she’s grinning like an idiot. “I heard you guys were taking a trip? Where you headed to?” 

Kate smiles, “Alaska, Tobin’s never been and she wants to fish for salmon.” 

“Cool,” Alex nods, “how’s she doing?” 

“Pretty good, all things considered.” Kate answers, now wondering if Allie has told Alex about the letter and Kate kicking Tobin out.   
Alex is silent for a moment, looking away from Kate. “Kate, is she okay? Is this trip her running away?” Alex is suddenly very serious. 

“Well,” Kate says, she knows Alex is Tobin’s best friend so it would be fine to tell her everything, but a part of Kate wants to hold that back for Tobin to tell. “She’s struggling, thinking too much about what she has to face from here on out, both professionally and personally.” 

“So, she’s running.” Alex shakes her head. “Are you going with her?” 

“Yeah, I’m going with.” Kate answers, “Yes, I think some of it is running but also I think she just wants to forget her world for a little bit, recharge herself and come back stronger.” 

“Did she tell you that?” Alex asks. 

“Pretty much, she knows she has to rehab and get back in form, she knows she has to overcome her fear of the public, she knows she has to face it all. She just doesn’t want to do it this minute and take some time off to relax.” 

“So, like a week of her stoned and fishing.” Alex grins. 

“Probably.” Kate agrees with her own grin, “but, you know, therapeutically. For her health.”

Alex sighs, “I wish I could go,” she mumbles. 

“How about whenever you can get out here, we’ll go fishing at my place. Nice and quiet, just us and the fish.” Kate offers. 

“I would really like that,” Alex says genuinely, “and I just really want to thank you for all that you’ve been doing for her. You guys are good for each other. Take care of her, okay?” 

“Always,” Kate says. 

 

Their trip was fantastic, exceeding their expectations. The flight went well, Tobin handling her nerves through the airport. She was nervous but Kate never let her out of sight, watching carefully for signs of panic. 

When they arrived in Anchorage, a limo was waiting for them to whisk them to a bed and breakfast just outside of the downtown area. They had room service and called it an early night. The next day, a car was delivered to take them to a smaller airport and they hopped on a Cessna to get to Susitna. When they landed, a woman was there to take them to the lodge. They checked in and were escorted to their private cabin about 50 yards from the main lodge. 

They stood on their porch overlooking the river smiling at each other. Tobin takes a deep breath and circles her arms around Kate’s waist. “Thank you,” she says as she kisses her lips. “I’m so stoked you came with me.” 

“I’m so glad to be here.” Kate says kissing her back. “You’re in for a real treat.” She raises her arm to point to the river. “Look,” she says, “the fish are jumping.”   
“Wow!” Tobin exclaims, her voice soft, just above a whisper. “That’s incredible.” 

“How about we take a nap and then maybe a walk before dinner?” Kate suggests. Tobin nods with a smile, “Sounds good to me.” 

Their first night was wonderful, the staff made them feel comfortable and the few guests sharing dinner with them were genial. Tobin was nervous meeting the other guests but her nerves soon disappeared by the other guests being so sweet to them. Both Kate and Tobin were smiling, hands clasped together under the table throughout the meal. Their cabin included a breakfast nook, bedroom and a living room with a couch facing a large window overlooking the river. Tobin nervously made sure the doors and windows were locked before they left for dinner and again before they went to bed the first night and it took her a while to relax enough to sleep. 

The next morning after breakfast they met with Roger in the fishing shed who explained their reels and rods and showed them a good spot not far away to catch fish. They were allowed three salmon each which would be fileted, flash frozen and then shipped to their homes. They could also have some of their fish smoked in the smokehouse as well.

Tobin would jump occasionally hearing something in the woods so Kate would silently grab her hand and interlock their fingers for a minute or wo until she relaxed and then would go back to fishing. Kate suggested they be a little picky about their fish since they would probably catch them quickly. So, they took their time, enjoying the sport and the fight of the fish, releasing smaller ones and waiting for true trophy size ones to take home. Sometimes they spent an hour just talking about anything and everything. They discussed politics, finding themselves on the same side of the fence, neither being too passionate about it but certainly current on the important topics and active in voting. 

They got swept up in a conversation about religion and spirituality with Kate speaking so passionately about the beauty of symbolism in a Catholic Mass that Tobin wanted to find a church right then and go. Kate was enthralled with Tobin’s knowledge of the Bible that she felt she was missing out on the actual words of Jesus. They agreed to attend each other’s churches and check them out. 

They talked about their past relationships, the positives and negatives, and how they’d grown and learned from them. They talked about how they realized they were attracted to women and their coming out experiences. 

On Wednesday they talked for so long they almost missed dinner. Rushing into the dining room, they were greeted by their fellow guests with jokes about if they were fishing or just talking to the fish. 

After dinner they sat on a blanket outside their cabin looking up at the stars, giggling when Tobin claimed she saw a UFO. 

“I’ll give you an UFO,” Kate smirks. Tobin creases her brow in confusion, her face lit by the huge moon overhead. 

“What?” she asks. 

“An Unbelievable Fucking Orgasm.” Kate grins. Tobin laughs and leans in to kiss her. They lay back on the blanket, side by side, kissing in the moonlight. Tobin rolls over on top of Kate with knee in between her legs. She brings her mouth to Kate’s neck, sucking lightly and grinding her hips down. 

“Babe?” she asks quietly in between the featherlight kisses she’s leaving on Kate’s neck. 

“Hhhmm?” is all Kate can reply. 

Tobin grinds herself further onto Kate’s hips, moaning softly from the sensation. “By any chance,” she whispers, “did you bring the thing with you?” she asks. 

Kate moves her hands from Tobin’s hips to her ass and squeezes it. Tobin arches her back driving her hips down harder trying to get some friction on her core. 

Kate knows what she’s asking about but she wants to tease Tobin a little longer. “What thing, asthore?” she asks bringing her hands to Tobin’s stomach lightly trailing upwards. 

“The, uh, the” Tobin gulps, distracted as Kate begins to knead her breasts, “the dildo?” she nearly moans as Kate circles her nipples with her fingers. 

“I did,” Kate husks, pulling Tobin down and reversing their positions with Kate now on top. “Why?” she teases as she attacks Tobin’s neck, biting and sucking. Tobin moans louder. 

“I want to try it.” Tobin says breathlessly. 

“You sure?” Kate asks as she lightly trails her tongue along Tobin’s ear. “What do you want to try?” 

“I want you to use it on me,” Tobin says, her voice low and rough. It’s still sore from the ventilator. 

“Say it Tobin,” Kate orders, “I want you to say it,” she says as she licks her neck. 

“I want you to fuck me.” Tobin groans as Kate grinds her hips into her. 

“Let’s go,” Kate whispers as she pulls herself from Tobin, offering her hand to pull her up. 

 

When Kate exits the bathroom she’s wearing a silky white baby doll top with thins straps and a lacy front. She’s holding the dildo in one hand, a towel and the tube of lube in the other. She slowly walks to the bed. Tobin’s looking out the window. 

“Mavourneen,” Kate says seductively. Tobin turns from the window and her eyes widen when she sees Kate. She gulps audibly as her eyes crawl over Kate. Kate gives her a wicked smile and steps over to the bed, placing the items in her hands on it. 

“Come on over here,” Kate beckons, as she places her hands on her chest, slowly massaging her own breasts. Tobin steps to her grinning as she places her hands over Kate’s. Kate leans forward to kiss Tobin’s lips. Tobin responds and kisses her deeply, her tongue seeking her. Her hands leave Kate’s chest and run lightly down her sides, feeling the silky smooth material. Kate brings a hand to Tobin’s strong jaw as their tongues twist slowly, enjoying the taste and feel of each other. 

Kate’s other hand comes up to Tobin flannel shirt and she begins to unbutton it slowly, dropping her other hand to assist with the buttons. She finishes unbuttoning the flannel and brings the lapels over shoulders to help Tobin shrug out of it. Kate sees her gauze sleeves covering her wounds, she sees the light purplish bruises on her ribs. Kate arches an eyebrow when she discovers Tobin’s not wearing her signature sports bra. She’s not wearing any bra. 

“What?” Tobin smirks as she lowers her hands to firmly hold Kate’s ass. 

“No bra, huh?” Kate asks. 

Tobin just shrugs and smiles. “Just wasn’t in the mood, I guess,” she shrugs again. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Kate laughs and grabs Tobin’s waist and begins to unbutton her jeans. “A little help here?” 

“Oh, yeah,” Tobin says as she shimmies out of her jeans and underwear, flinging her socks off over her shoulder. 

Kate takes her hand and backs her to the bed, gently pushing her down. Tobin scoots back a little as Kate kneels over her. As Tobin lays back, Kate straddles her and leans her elbows on the mattress, kissing Tobin deeply, Tobin responding as she glides her hands slowly up and down Kate’s back. Kate moves to Tobin’s neck, first placing featherlight kisses along it and then lavishing it with deeper ones. 

Tobin moans as Kate circles her breast with her fingers. Tobin arches back as Kate pressures her index and middle finger between Tobin’s nipple, flicking it back and forth and squeezing it. Tobin gasps and drops her hands to squeeze Kate’s ass and drive her hips down to meet hers which are off the mattress. Tobin twists her head to meet Kate’s lips and they crash together both moaning into each other’s mouths. Kate pulled back as Tobin gently bit her lower lip, sucking it and releasing it as Kate lowered herself to Tobin’s chest. 

“Mmmmm,” Tobin moans as Kate sucks on her nipple, tongue teasing it. She’s massaging her other breast as she rhythmically grinds her leg into Tobin’s core. Tobin gently pushes Kate back and looks at her. 

“Let me take care of you first,” she says, her voice low and scratchy, eyes filled with lust. 

“Oh, asthore,” Kate purrs, “we’re both gonna get off doing this together,” she says as drops lower and kisses Tobin’s inner thigh. Tobin moans as Kate runs her tongue lightly around her clit, teasing gently. She then flattens her tongue to abruptly lick through her, sending Tobin’s back off the mattress as she’s overwhelmed by the touch. Kate feels a hand lazily caress her long hair as she continues to please Tobin. She bores down on Tobin’s core, driving her tongue into her as far as possible, then upwards to take her clit in her mouth, sucking with an increasing pressure. Tobin cries out, feeling more than halfway gone from the pleasure racing through her body. 

Kate abandons Tobin’s center with Tobin whimpering at the loss of touch as Kate slowly moves back up to kiss her deeply. Tobin tastes herself on Kate’s tongue as they speak to each other silently through their kiss. Kate brings a hand up to Tobin’s hair, stroking her fingers through it. She pulls back and looks down at her. 

“I want you to do to me what I’m doing to you, okay?” she asks, her voice laden with lust. 

Tobin nods as she takes a breath. “Yeah, sure,” 

“If it’s too much, just say so and we’ll stop,” Kate offers, feeling Tobin might be nervous. 

“Babe,” Tobin says, nearly whining, “please, stop teasing and fuck me.” 

Kate smiles at her bringing her face down to kiss her, “We’re gonna get ourselves good and ready now, okay?” 

“Yes,” Tobin says breathlessly. 

“And asthore?” Kate says as she lightly sucks on Tobin’s neck, “Hmm?” Tobin moans out. 

“I’m not fucking you tonight,” Kate asserts, “I’m going to make love to you.” 

Tobin surges forward to Kate, wrapping her arms around her, squeezing her tightly in an embrace as she crashes their lips together. Upon her release, she feels Kate’s fingers trailing down her chest, so she does the same. Kate and Tobin are staring at each other, mouths open, eyes filled with want as Tobin follows Kate’s lead. 

Kate trails her hand on Tobin’s thigh, massaging for only a moment before seeking out the heat emanating from between Tobin’s legs. Tobin mimics her movement and they both moan when contact is made. Kate’s fingers tease Tobin’s entrance, moving in a circular fashion, two fingers slowly entering her. Kate keeps a slow intentional pace, not increasing her pace as much as she can feel Tobin’s hips rising to meet her fingers. She removes her fingers and concentrates on slowly forcing Tobin’s opening larger and larger with circular pass. Tobin’s moaning loudly with each pass. 

Kate stops and pulls back to regain her self-control as she’s ready to cum just looking and hearing Tobin right now. They’re both breathing heavy, on the brink of one more touch sending either one of them over the edge. Kate rises to her knees, looking down lovingly at Tobin. Tobin eyes her lustily, running her hands along the outside of Kate’s thighs. 

Kate picks up the lube and opens it, spreading a little on her fingertips. She moves to kneel in between Tobin’s spread legs. She smirks at Tobin as she daintily coats herself with the lube, not breaking eye contact with Tobin as she does. She takes the strapless dildo in her hand, running the tip of it along her inner thighs giving Tobin a show. Tobin is breathing heavy in anticipation. Kate puts a little lube on the insertion portion, trailing her fingers on it delicately as she coats it well. 

Slowly she inserts it into her vagina, stretching herself out, her face morphing from a grimace of discomfort to pleasure. The pink penis hanging between her legs. Kate gazes down at Tobin’s face, her mouth open in wonder and lust. 

“What’s it feel like?” Tobin asks, she’s curious. She can’t stop her hips from moving. She’s never felt this turned on in her life. She can feel her wetness spilling out, leaking out down her thighs. 

“Like a huge tampon,” Kate replies breathily, “it takes a minute but you get used to it quick.” Her hips are swaying with anticipation. Kate’s only done this once before, a long time ago on a drunken night with a hot hookup whom she never spoke to again. 

Kate grabs the towel and places under Tobin’s waist and legs. The she moves a pillow and gently raises Tobin’s hips to slip it under her to give her some height. She takes some lube and gently spreads it across Tobin’s slit moving closer to Tobin and slowly begins to rub the penis over her clit. Using one hand she guides it around and moves forward and back, lubing it up on Tobin’s wetness. She rubs her opening, teasingly, slowly, before spreading Tobin’s legs even wider than before. 

As she slowly enters her, Kate is watching Tobin’s face carefully. She doesn’t want to hurt her, as she sees Tobin’s eyes clamp shut, her forehead furrowed, teeth showing as she gets the head in. She waits for Tobin to adjust to the feeling before she moves her hips to drive it forward. Tobin’s hips are arching up, her back angled, head pressed hard into the pillow. She lets out a sound like something between a hum and moan, dragging it out with her breath. 

Kate moves her legs a few inches closer as Tobin’s hips move, searching for more. Kate takes Tobin’s hands into hers and presses them down to the mattress, fingers interlocked as she enters her. Tobin lets out a strangled gasp, her mouth opening, eyes still shut. “Uuuhhnnn,” she lets out a long moan, it’s deep and throaty. 

Kate is feeling the clit pads rub against her on the member as she slowly drives it further into Tobin. Tobin’s gasping at the sensation, it’s sending shockwaves through her like she’s never felt before. Every nerve is tingling, her body feels aflame and she’s out of control, her hips moving on their volition. 

“Ooooohhhhh,” she moans, as Kate begins a slow pace, in, pause, out. Tobin’s hip are moving faster than Kate wants, Kate wants to draw this out but Tobin’s too far gone already. Kate lowers her upper body to lay on Tobin as she slowly grinds into her. She attacks her neck with hard kisses and some not so soft bites to her collarbone. Tobin’s wheezing like she’s run ten miles as a sheen of sweat coats her. 

Tobin brings her lips to Kate as they kiss, she’s overloaded, everything feels so good, she doesn’t know what to do. These sensations are too much. Kate keeps a slow pace and slowly feels Tobin settling down. Their hips move together, Tobin rising to meet her. Kate’s losing herself into it, feeling so good, and she opens her eyes to find Tobin’s dark brown ones looking back at her. 

“You good?” Kate pants, “I’m not hurting you?” 

“No,” Tobin pants. “Faster,” Tobin moans, her voice breathless as she continues to move her hips. Kate quickens the pace and goes a little deeper, glancing down to see she’s only about halfway in Tobin still. She increases her thrusts watching Tobin arch back on her shoulders, her moans rising in pitch, increasing in length and volume. 

Kate slowly releases herself from Tobin’s iron grip and guides her hands to the headboard. Tobin braces herself against it. Kate pulls back and slows her thrusts down, instead reaching for Tobin’s calves and bringing them in the air in front of her. She pumps into Tobin, hearing the moans coming from her. She feels amazing as her clit is stimulated on every thrust. She glides her hands down to Tobin’s knees, grasping each leg underneath them. Tobin’s spread out, knees in the air, her feet moving limply on every thrust. 

“Oh, yessss,” Tobin pants, she’s getting so close, her toes are numbing and the sensation is traveling up her legs. “Harder, please!” she cries. 

Kate moans loudly as she continues her thrusts, the pace growing faster, her hips moving on their own. Kate releases Tobin’s legs and dives forward so she can feast her tongue on Tobin’s breast as she begins to pound into her. 

The bed is squeaking, the headboard is bouncing on the wall and both Kate and Tobin are crying out with each thrust. Tobin’s trying to control her breathing, her mouth open, eyes shut, head arched back. It feels amazing, the sensations are overloading her. Each thrust is hitting her g-spot, her legs are twitching, she can’t control her moans. Kate is struggling just as much, she’s trying to suck on Tobin’s nipple but can’t stop panting. She pulls back, one hand holding her up as she feels herself ready to cum. She drops her free hand down and roughly circles Tobin’s clit. Tobin’s neck instantly pulls her head upright, chin on chest as she explodes in the pleasure crying out loudly. Tobin’s body stiffening and then falling back, relaxed.

Kate cums at the same time, her hips wildly moving forward, her body covered in sweat, fabric clinging to her. Her elbow gives way and she crashes onto Tobin, panting loudly as Tobin continues to moan with each breath. The dildo has slipped out, making a soft suction noise as it exits Tobin. Kate’s feeling Tobin’s juices flowing from her onto the towel. She lays on her in between her legs as they both try to control their breathing. Kate feels Tobin’s hips still twitching from the aftershocks coursing through her body. Kate’s own legs   
twitch a bit as she feels them as well. 

Kate slides off to the side so her whole body weight is no longer on Tobin, still close with her head on Tobin’s shoulder, hand on her sternum, leg over her thighs. Neither can speak as their pants become heavy breathing and then slowly recovering enough to be back to normal. 

They don’t speak for minutes as they come down, Kate lightly caressing Tobin’s collarbones, seeing the bruises appear from her mouth. Their bodies are slick with sweat, hair pasted to their foreheads. 

“That was,” Tobin breathes out, “incredible.” She says, turning her head to face Kate. 

“Yeah,” Kate smiles, “I can’t feel my legs.” 

“Neither can I,” Tobin states as her hips flinch from another aftershock. “Holy shit,” she says looking down at herself. 

Kate turns on her side and brings her hand to the towel under Tobin, she gives it a tug and Tobin lifts her hips up to release it. Kate slowly wipes down Tobin’s thighs and then her core. Tobin freezes at the touch and gives a little moan and then relaxes. Kate brings the towel to herself and puts it in between her legs to catch her juices that follow as she slides the dildo out. She rubs herself against it and places the dildo on the towel and tosses it further away on the bed. 

“I feel like I came, like, three times or something,” Tobin says softly, her voice full of wonder. 

“It’s pretty intense, huh?” Kate asks. Tobin nods. 

“Totally,” Tobin smiles. “It was amazing, you’re amazing,” she says as she kisses her. “I want to do you,” she husks, “but I don’t think my body can right now.” 

“Mavourneen,” Kate smiles at her, placing a soft kiss next to her lips, “I don’t think my body can either.” 

They drift off to sleep, too tired to bother with the covers.


	34. You Saved Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin reciprocates because she's a gentlewoman who takes care of her partner. Kate has an epiphany. A little Thorns Fishing Derby hijinks and Jam Night where Tobin makes a statement of her commitment to Kate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut Part 2- because it's not fair to have one and not the other. You've been forewarned. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking around and the comments. We're winding this baby down and I so appreciate the feedback given on my first story. The kudos and positive comments do make a rough day brighter.
> 
> Song- I've Always Loved You by Third Day

Tobin awakens to her breast being teased by a tongue. A very talented tongue. She moans in pleasure, pushing her chest forward. 

“Tobin,” Kate’s soft voice fills her ear, “get up, let’s take a shower.” 

“No,” Tobin says sleepily, “let’s stay here and keep doing this.” She brings her hand up to glide across Kate’s back. 

“Come on,” Kate smiles, “there’s more of this in the shower.” 

Tobin cracks an eye open, “Oh yeah?” 

“Oh yeah,” Kate says knowingly, giving her hand to Tobin to help her up. 

They walk hand in hand in the darkness of the room to the bathroom, a soft light on in the corner, the shower already running, the room nice and warm. As they step in Tobin sees the dildo and lube on a ledge and excitement courses through her. Kate beings to run her hands down her sides as Tobin moves closer in to kiss her. As they kiss their hands explore and roam over each other’s bodies. Tobin lustily sucks on Kate’s breast, using her teeth to skim across the nipple making Kate moan. Kate’s hands are firmly squeezing Tobin’s ass rhythmically as they bring their hips together. 

Tobin moves her head up so she can explore Kate’s neck, placing soft kisses from behind her ear down to her collarbone where she lightly bites and sucks. 

“Tobin, I need you,” Kate moans as her hand down between Tobin’s legs, slowly rubbing her clit. Tobin drops her hand down to mimic Kate’s movements, feeling like they’ll do the same as before. Tobin keeps sucking and biting Kate’s collarbone before turning her attention back to her breasts with her free hand and mouth. Kate’s moans are increasing and she surprises Tobin by dipping two fingers into her. 

Tobin moans loudly and her hips flinch from the contact. She pulls her head back to see Kate’s face, eyes closed, mouth open a look of pure contentment. Tobin moves her fingers to Kate’s opening and begins the pattern of ever widening circles. 

It only takes a few minutes of doing this before both are breathing heavy. Tobin decides it’s time, so she pulls back and reaches for the lube. She opens it and squirts some on her fingers before massaging herself with it. Then she reaches for the dildo and puts some lube on it as well. 

She quickly turns to her side and lowers the water temperature just a little from the heat raining down on her back. Kate’s watching her intently as she presses the insertion portion against herself and slowly lets it enter her. She’s struggling to get it in her, tensing as she pushes which negates what she’s trying to do. She’s getting flustered when Kate places a hand on her forearm. 

“Let me help, asthore,” Kates says as she kneels down. She slides her fingers through Tobin’s slit, circling around her opening gently with increasing speed. Her other massages her clit and Tobin’s head falls back with her mouth open letting loose with a low moan. Kate takes the dildo from Tobin’s shaky hand while still playing with her clit and begins to insert it in her. She winces in discomfort momentarily and then feels a fullness like she’s never before. Tobin widens her stance to accept it as Kate slowly moves it through her rings and into her fully.

“Okay?” Kate asks looking up at her. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says running fingers through Kate’s wet hair. She takes Kate’s elbow and helps her up. She looks down at herself to see the penis sticking out from her and her mind goes blank for a second. It seems so bizarre but she’s so turned on by it, knowing she’ll use it to bring Kate amazing pleasure. She’s never been one to play with toys in the bedroom, or shower before so this new experience, it’s a bit to take in. 

She looks up at Kate and smiles. Kate is looking at her with a fire in her eyes. She’s got one hand massaging her own breast, the other lazy rubbing her clit. Tobin kisses her hard and walks her against the wall, spreading Kate’s legs with her hands before stepping in between them. 

With one hand on the shaft, Tobin begins to slowly massage Kate’s clit with the head of the penis eliciting moans of pleasure from Kate. Feeling more confident, she begins to slowly thrust her hips up and down along Kate’s folds, teasing her. 

“Oh,” Kate moans as Tobin pulls back to look up to see Kate’s blue eyes blazing at her with lust. Tobin smirks at her as she feels Kate’s hips bucking into her own. 

“I don’t think I should make to love to you right now,” she says as she kisses Kate’s lips and puts a finger on them to silence her. “You look like you need to be fucked.” 

“Oh, yes!” Kate exclaims as she brings both hands to Tobin’s breasts, massaging them as Tobin slowly enters her. 

Tobin finds a slow rhythm, alternating between thrusting in and out with a few grinds that slowly press into Kate. Kate’s moaning with every movement, still working Tobin’s breasts. 

“Faster, asthore,” she moans as Tobin quickens the pace, changing her angle by widening her stance. She feels powerful, she feels confident, she feels so much love for Kate to share this with her. Kate’s hips move in time with hers, they move as one. Tobin feels so connected with Kate right now, the clit pad massaging her and beginning to drive her crazy. Her thrusts increase in pace and force, she can’t help it, her body has its own ideas about things now. 

“Tobin,” Kate says, her voice strangled as she presses her palms on Tobin’s chest to push her back slightly. 

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Tobin eyes are wide. 

“I’m fine, asthore,” she answers as she takes one of Tobin’s hands in her own, “I just need you to finish me not in here,” she says as shuts off the water and leads her out of the shower. She tosses her a towel and they both dry their hair quickly as Kate leads her to the couch, placing the towel down and kneeling on it. 

She pulls Tobin’s hand so she’s close to her face, “Mavourneen,” Kate whispers, “I want you to take me from behind and fuck me.” Tobin gulps as she says it, so turned on she doesn’t know if she can move. 

She finds the ability to move and kneels behind her as Kate pushes her chest down into the couch with her hands gripping the arm for support. Tobin caresses Kate’s clit for a moment before she brings the head of the penis up to enter her easily. She enters her slowly with the entire length of the member, moaning as she’s feeling the clit pad stimulate her. This new position makes Kate moan loudly as Tobin begins to steadily rock into her. 

“Faster!” Kate begs as Tobin increases her pace. She’s building up a sweat from the exertion and stimulation she’s feeling. 

“Uuummm,” Tobin moans feeling the beginning of the end. 

“Harder!” Kate cries out, ass in the air, head turned sideways on the couch. She’s using her hips to meet Tobin’s thrusts, moaning out with every one of them. 

Tobin grabs Kate’s hips and begins to hammer her, her thighs slapping against Kate’s ass. Just as she’s about to cum, Kate lets out a wail and crumples to the couch. Hearing Kate’s cry of ecstasy sends Tobin over the edge and she stiffens as her orgasm washes over her and then collapses on Kate’s back. 

Both are breathing heavy as they come down, Tobin’s hips still jerking with her aftershocks and unintentionally thrusting into Kate. She moans as this happens until realizes it and slowly pulls out and removes it from herself. She lays softly onto the back of the couch, not completely on Kate and caresses her back. 

“So, was that good for you?” she asks softly in Kate’s ear.

“So good,” Kate says breathily. Tobin takes Kate’s hair in her hand and swipes it off the side of Kate’s face. They’re both still wet from the shower after not completely drying themselves and now being sweaty again. 

They stay in that position until the chill of the room forces them head back to the shower. They play with each other lovingly as they shower and actually clean themselves. They dress quickly in the dark of the room for bed, making sure to set an alarm for latest time they can still make breakfast and fall into bed exhausted. 

“Are you okay with everything?” Kate Tobin quietly as Tobin snuggles into Kate’s side. 

“Yeah, it was amazing,” Tobin replies. “I felt so connected to you.”

“Good, me too” Kate says kissing Tobin’s temple and hugging her close. 

“I love you,” Tobin says as she kisses her. 

“I love you.” Kate replies and returns the kiss.

Sleep finds them easily and they drift off quickly. 

Kate awakens with a smile on her face as she remembers last night. She is so happy it went so well. She was prepared to stop at any time if Tobin was overwhelmed or started having flashbacks to Allison or anything. But Tobin was so into it and willing and wanting it. She must have been processing this a lot more than I realized, Kate thinks. 

She looks at her phone and sees it’s an hour before they should get up. She’s on her back with Tobin next to her on her side facing her, arm stretched out across Kate’s chest, fingers lightly holding her right breast. She looks over at Tobin’s sleeping figure, hair a mess from going to bed wet splayed out on her pillow. Kate sees the scar on Tobin’s temple, the stitches neat and clean, the wound healing nicely. Tobin’s mouth is slightly open, drool evident on her pillow. Kate smiles with affection as she studies her. She can make out the slight rise under Tobin’s left eye from her broken occipital bone, still slightly swollen though no longer hurting her. 

She glances down to look at Tobin’s forearm resting on her. Her largest gash stitched up and clean. Thirty-seven stitches she counts with a finger hovering over it. Just on that one wound alone. She tears up thinking how terrified Tobin must have been during her attack. Witnessing Tobin under the influence of those muscle relaxers herself, she can only imagine how she struggled to fight and get away, knowing her body was shutting down. 

Twenty-four. That’s the next wound visible to her. This one had a few internal stitches as well due to the depth of the wound. So much blood, Kate thinks, flashing back to seeing Tobin’s apartment. The droplets trailing across her wood floor in the living room spattering across the floor, the larger pool by the couch. More tears come when she thinks of Tobin laying there, bleeding as she knew she would be losing consciousness. 

She thinks of how Tobin responded to her, how she forgave her. How she showed such vulnerability and openness to her. How authentic she was to her. Hurt, but willing to listen, upset, but forgiving. Committing to her. Loving her. Showing her what a real relationship was, even with the craziness of being a pro athlete, recovering from her injuries physically and mentally, having a stalker, through it all, Tobin was there for her just as much as she was for Tobin. 

Tobin loves me, Kate smiles, she loves me for who I am, not what I do. Not because I have money. Not because I’m convenient or a good lay. We can talk about anything. We do talk about everything. We can anticipate each other’s needs. We just click. 

Kate begins to cry softly, overwhelmed by her emotions. She’s so grateful to have met Tobin and experienced everything that has gone on with her. To see her at her highs and her lows, to see her sleepy in the morning with drool on her cheek or concentrating as she watches a soccer match. Her breath hitches as she cries. 

“Babe?” Tobin’s low throaty voice questions. Kate looks to see Tobin’s eyes wide and full of concern. 

Kate smiles at Tobin although her vision is blurry from the tears. She wipes her eyes with her hand and lovingly runs her fingers along Tobin’s arm, mindful of her healing wounds. “I love you,” she says simply.

“I love you too,” Tobin smiles but her expression is laced with confusion. 

“I had an epiphany this morning.” Kate declares. 

“How long have you been up? What time is it?” Tobin asks as she props her head up with her elbow. 

“It’s early, the alarm hasn’t gone off yet.” Kate answers. 

Tobin just looks at her, her soft brown eyes scanning Kate’s face for clues. Kate raises her head and bends over to kiss her softly. 

“Tobin,” she starts, “we’ve been through so much together in such a short time.” Tobin nods. 

“And we’ve had our ups and downs and it’s been pretty intense.” Kate continues. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says slowly drawing out the word. 

“We’ve seen each other at our worst and yet here we are.” Kate looks her in the eye.

Tobin smiles, “Here we are.” 

Kate’s face grows serious. “Full disclosure, Heath.” She says as she turns to face her with her elbow propping her head up. Tobin arches an eyebrow at her. “I’m in this with you for however long and wherever it takes us. I love you.” 

A smile spreads across Tobin’s face as she leans over to kiss her. “Full disclosure Doyle: I love you too.” She says and leans over once more to kiss her. She stays in place, face close to Kate, eyes boring into her with intensity. “You are endgame for me.” 

Kate surges forward to capture Tobin’s lips and kiss her passionately. They break apart moments later smiling at each other. 

“Tobin,” Kate says as she rubs her hand on Tobin’s forearm, “you know, before we met I was happy with my life. I have a job a love, I have Samson to ease my loneliness, I have friends and family and I get to sing in an awesome band. I always knew a relationship was missing but a part of me still felt a little unworthy to try and find one. But then you came along and everything was so easy. Like, so easy, it just felt so right so quick. I can’t explain it but the connection we had when we first met, was so, was so…” Kate trails off trying to think of the word to describe it. 

“Deep?” Tobin asks. 

“Yeah, and meaningful from the first time I came to your hospital room. I’ve never shared the things we talked about with anyone so quickly without knowing them, you know?”  


Tobin grins in affirmation. 

Kate takes Tobin’s elbow and pulls her onto her chest, Tobin draping a leg over her hip. 

“I might have been the one to get you out of that house and away from Allison, but Tobin, you saved me.” 

Kate is looking at the ceiling as she speaks, with Tobin’s head on her chest, her fingers drawing lazy circles on her shoulder. 

Tobin lifts her head to look a Kate with tears in her eyes. “I think it’s safe to say, that for a lot of reasons, we saved each other, babe.” She says, her voice uneven as her emotions take over. Tears fall from her eyes as she gives her a wobbly smile. “I love you so much!” she says as she dives down and hugs her. They both shed some happy tears before laughing at each other for being so sappy. 

 

“Do you like to dance?” Kate asks suddenly as they sit at the gate waiting to board the next day. 

“Hmm?” Tobin asks putting down her phone. “I didn’t hear you.” She replies looking at Kate. 

“I asked if you like to dance?” Kate repeats. 

“Yeah, sure,” Tobin shrugs. 

“No, like do you dance dance? Like tango or ballroom or anything?” Kate asks seriously. 

Tobin grins at her. “Well, I know how to waltz, I can do a mean salsa dance, I know how to two step.” 

“Are you good?” Kate asks. “I mean, are you comfortable dancing?” 

“Yeah, I enjoy it with the right partner,” she replies waggling her eyebrows and leaning into Kate’s shoulder. “I can hold my own. Why?” 

Kate shrugs. “Just wondering. We never talked about it.” 

“Oh,” Tobin says. “Did you want to go dancing some night?” 

“Well sure, but there’s no rush,” Kate replies kissing Tobin’s cheek. 

 

 

“Hey, you okay?” Kate asks as she sidles up next to Tobin. “You’ve been kind of quiet.” 

“I’m good, babe,” Tobin gives her a smile. “Just thinking.” She says as she throws out another cast. 

“Yeah?” Kate asks as she does the same. 

“I’m just grateful for everything, you know?” Tobin says, “I just,” she sighs, “things are good. This week I had more good days than bad. It’s been so awesome to be back with the team doing my rehab. You’ve had a good week back at work, it’s just been so great.” 

Kate shoots her a smile and nudges her shoulder. “It has,” she agrees, “I’m so proud of you for just getting back into the swing of things. You’ve really been strong and I’m proud of how you’ve handled the media. That interview with Annie was amazing.” 

Tobin had sat down with Annie on Wednesday and Thursday, prepping the first night and filming the second. Annie gently helped Tobin shape the tone and the theme of her interview and guided her through the process with professional and affection. They filmed it at Kate’s house in the family room with Samson lying next to her on the couch, his massive head in her lap

Annie gracefully guided Tobin to explain how she was taken and held captive being repeatedly assaulted, beaten and tortured. She didn’t go into sordid detail, simply stating facts. She spoke of being stalked and attacked and the stalker being captured. She spoke of how wonderful the Thorns staff and her teammates have been. The support she has received throughout the whole ordeal. She told how she appreciated the outpouring of love and support from fans around the world and the Portland community. She spoke of how she appreciated the ability to be a citizen and anonymous in the city and let her just do her thing. She ended the interview with stating this is the only time she will speak of this to the media and she was determined to get back on the pitch with the Thorns. 

“OH! I’ve got a bite!” Kate exclaims as she jerks her rod and begins to reel it in. 

“No fair!” Kling yells from a few yards away. “This is your lake!” 

“I got one!” Emily yells next to Kling, dancing as she starts reeling hers in.

“This is so not fair!” Kling says as she looks dejectedly at the water. “Come on fish!” she yells. 

“You’re scaring them away, you know.” Tobin advises as she casts again. 

“I haven’t had one bite yet. Not one. Nothing.” Kling sighs. They’ve just come back from their lunch break.

Tobin reels her line in and walks the few yards over to her while Kate looks on amused. “Let’s look at your lure,” she suggests. Kling reels her line in. 

“Uh, Kling, you don’t have any bait. Just a sinker and a hook.” She explains. “Who got you set up?” she asks. 

“ALLIE!” Kling shouts across the lake. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU!” 

They look over to see Allie, Mana, Sinc and Lindsey doubled over in laughter. To her left Tobin spies Amandine filming Kling with her phone. She gives her a thumbs up and walks a few feet back to where she had the tackle box and fishes out a good lure to use. 

“Hold your rod up,” She instructs. Laughter is echoing around the lake from the team as they hear what happened. “Okay, let’s see you throw a cast.” She says, stepping to her side and away from the hook. 

Kling tosses the line out about twenty feet. “Okay, just use your wrist a little more and jiggle the rod as you slowly reel it in, pretend like you’re making the lure act like a fish.”

“That’s it?” Kling asks. Tobin nods and slaps her back. “You’ll get some, don’t worry. We have time before it’s over.” She smiles. 

“Thanks dude,” Kling says and they bump knuckles. 

“Hey, if you go over there by that little patch of sand, I’m sure you’ll get some large ones.” Tobin advises. 

Kling goes off to the area Tobin suggested and throws her line in the water. 

 

“Why did I tell her to fish there?” Tobin grumbles as they’re listening to the winners of the tournament. Tobin finished third and Kate sixth. The only ones who haven’t been called are Kling and Nadine their goalie coach. 

“Relax, Jersey,” Kate smiles as she rubs Tobin’s back, “you beat me just like you said you would.” 

“Yeah, well,” Tobin smiles, “I know that you wouldn’t be rubbing it in my face for all eternity if you had beaten me. Kling is gonna crow about this for a long time.” 

Sinc laughs from next to her. “We gotta give her a win sometimes,” she says. 

“Truth.” Lindsey agrees. 

“And now, your winner, with an epic comeback after being sabotaged by her teammates, Meghan Klingenberg!” Mark announces to loud applause. Kling shakes hands with Nadine and snatches the microphone from Mark’s hand. 

“Yeah, check it out!” Meghan yells as she holds up the large trophy with a golden fish on top. “You thought you had me, you thought you had bamboozled me, you thought I was out of contention. But I did it!” Applause and laughter echoes around the pavilion where they’ve gathered. 

“I just want to say thanks to Kate for making this all possible- it’s been awesome! And thanks to Mark for agreeing to let us come out here for a great time together, even though it’s not over yet.” Meghan scans the crowd and finds Tobin and looks at her. 

“I want to say thanks to Tobin for having my back and actually putting a lure on my line and showing me the spot to pull in the largest fish ever. I’d like to thank Scaly, you are the most awesome fish and I’m so glad you got to swim away after earning me my victory. Finally, I’d like to thank Allie, because my victory wouldn’t be possible for your hijinks and to pay me back, you will serve me for the rest of the day.” 

More laughter ensues and Allie shakes her head while Mark comes up and nods to her. 

“Allie, I’d like a nice cold water now, please.” Meghan commands and Allie grudgingly goes to the coolers to retrieve one. 

They sit under the coolness of the pavilion for an early dinner with Jake and a team of college students providing a buffet of foods featuring the fresh salmon Tobin and Kate had shipped back, grilled tofu, vegetables and other grilled treats. 

Mark speaks about the competition and provides his unique insights after they’ve eaten and the entire Thorns staff make their way over to Kate to thank her profusely for hosting such a wonderful time. Kate modestly welcomes them and offers her facilities if they’d like to come back. 

Tobin steps up to the microphone after the Mark is finished. 

“Hey guys,” she says scanning the room. “I just wanted to say thanks to you guys for coming out and I hope you had a fun time.” Cheers and applause respond. “I know I’ve said it before to you but I can’t thank you enough for all of the love and support you’ve given me these past few months. From visits, long talks, to sending over awesome food, to cards, notes, texts, calls, it just really means a lot.” 

“We love you Tobs!” Mana shouts out. Tobin smiles and wipes the tears from her eyes. “I love you guys too.” 

She takes a deep breath, “So, onward we go. I hope to get back to the pitch this season, but if I don’t, know I’ll be your loudest supporter and if you need anything, I’m here for you as well.” 

Kate comes up next to Tobin and begins to remove the cloth covering the table next to them. 

“So, we created a few unofficial awards for todays’ tournament and Kate and I would like to hand them out.” Kate hands her a piece of paper. 

“First off, we have the Most Stylish Fisherwoman Award going to Dagny! You’re the Best Dressed amongst us!” Dagny comes up to accept her award wearing a short skirt, wedges and a lovely top. 

“Then we have First Fish Award going to Mana!” Tobin says excitedly, “She caught a fish five minutes into the tournament.” 

“Smallest Fish Award goes to Kendall!” Tobin announces. 

“I heard it was a minnow!” Britt yells out laughing.

“Then we have the Most Fish Caught Award going to Sinc! She had twenty -two!” 

“Next we have Strangest Thing Caught, which is two awards. The first going to Allie, who caught their tackle box, and to AD who caught a cooler.” Tobin acknowledges. “Thirty feet behind her.” She laughs. 

“Our next one is the I Hooked Myself Award going to the following: Lindsey who hooked her finger, Nadia who hooked her calf, Hayley who hooked her nose, that looked like it hurt, and lastly Sonnett who hooked her backside!” Everyone is laughing as they come up for their awards and mini first aid kits. 

“Our next award is I Hooked A Teammate going to Ashleigh for hooking not one, but two people.” 

“I said I was sorry!” Ashleigh exclaims laughing as she collects her trophy of a giant fish hook. 

“Finally, our last award My Teammate Hooked Me goes to Coxy and Menges for getting hooked by Ashleigh.” The girls hold up their awards and mini First Aid Kits they received much applause. 

Tobin hands the mic off to Kate. “I hope you guys enjoyed yourselves, the tournament is officially concluded. You’re welcome to stay and hang out. We have some canoes and paddle boats by the dock if you want to explore the lake or keep fishing for a while. If you’d like to take a swim, please use the beach area, the sand extends out about thirty feet. Towels and stuff are on the picnic tables. If you want to shower and change, the guest rooms are ready too. The bar is officially open in the out building and Jam Night will be starting in a couple of hours if you want to stick around. It’s super casual so just come as you are.” 

The coaches and staff hang out for a while and then depart. Players branch off in small groups, some heading out to the beach to swim or tan, others organizing a canoe race. A few head over to the bar to meet Jake and get a beverage. 

Tobin hugs Kate as they watch everyone having fun, talking excitedly about the fishing, who did what, and so on. “Thanks for all this,” Tobin murmurs as she places a soft kiss on her cheek. “It’s been so much fun.” 

“It’s been great,” Kate says. “How about a shower?” she raises her eyebrows and grins slyly. 

Tobin grins at her, “You bet,” she says taking her hand and heading for the house. 

 

 

“Alright everyone, we’re gonna take a quick break and be back for our last set!” Kate’s voice rings out from the stage. The building is packed with people, Kate’s friends mixing with the Thorns players and having a good time. Tobin is leaning up against the bar, drinking a water. 

She had changed into a pair of faded ripped jeans with a white t-shirt over a flannel shirt and a backwards hat on her head. She’s talking about the Alaska trip with Jen and Sinc. She feels a hand on her back and turns to see Kate smiling at her. She gives her a quick kiss and slips her arm around her. 

“Kate, will you please tell them the size of the largest fish I caught in Alaska? They don’t believe me.” Tobin asks. 

“It was forty inches long.” Kate explains, holding her hands out. “I have a picture on my phone if you don’t believe me.” 

The others just look at Tobin who has a smug look on her face. “I don’t lie about fish.” She says with a grin. 

“Well most other fishers do,” Sinc sasses back. 

“Hey, I’m going to go the bathroom, will you save a dance for me?” Tobin asks Kate. One of Kate’s friends is playing music during the break. 

“Sure,” Kate replies and gives her a kiss. Tobin disappears into the crowd. 

She reappears a few minutes later presenting Kate with her straw cowboy hat. “What’s this?” Kate asks as she puts it on her head. 

“Our song is coming up,” Tobin says, “a little two step. Come on.” She says as she takes her hand and leads her through the crowd to the dance area as the music playing fades. 

“Okay, now, if you’ll all clear the floor, we’ve got a special dance coming up for Kate and Tobin. Ladies, the floor is yours.” The DJ claims. 

Kate is looking at Tobin curiously as she allows herself to be led to the middle of the dance floor. Tobin pulls her close with a hand on her mid back and grasps her other hand to the side. “This song is how I feel about you.” She says as the music starts and she beginns to sway with Kate in her arms. 

Tobin shocks the Hell out of Kate when she begins to sing to her. 

“Well, I don't know how to explain it  
But I know that words will hardly do  
Miracles with signs and wonders  
Aren't enough for me to prove to you  
Don't you know I've always loved you  
Even before there was time  
Though you turn away, I'll tell you still  
Don't you know I've always loved you, and I always will.”

The beat starts and Tobin glides Kate across the floor, twirling expertly. Kate knows how to two-step so she matches Tobin’s moves perfectly in rhythm to the music. Her eyes never leaving Tobin as she continues to sing to her.

“Greater love has not a man  
Than the one who gives his life to prove  
That he would do anything  
And that's what I'm going to do for you  
Don't you know I've always loved you  
Even before there was time  
Though you turn away, I'll tell you still  
Don't you know I've always loved you  
Don't you know I've always loved you  
Even before there was time  
Though you turn away, I'll tell you still  
Don't you know I've always loved you, and I always will.” 

Tobin’s smiling at Kate as she sings and moves her around the dance floor, the two moving as one. The entire building is mesmerized by the two as they cheer and shout for them but they can’t hear them. It’s like they’re in their own world, Kate only hearing Tobin’s low voice, infused with such emotion. Tobin, only seeing the love in Kate’s eyes as she sings to her. 

“I’ve known Tobin for over twenty years and I’ve never seen her dance like that. Ever.” Kling says softly, her voice filled with wonder. She’s standing with Allie, Sinc, Lindsey and Liz who nod in agreement. 

Allie and Liz are both crying softly as they watch their best friends out on the dance floor. 

Sinc nudges Allie’s side. “You okay?” she asks. 

“I’m just so happy for her,” Allie sniffles. “They’ve both been through so much.” 

Liz puts her arm around Allie’s shoulder and gives her a trembling smile, tears streaking down her face. “I am too,” 

Sinc slides her arm around Allie’s other shoulder, drawing the three together, “They’re gonna be just fine,” she says firmly, “together.”


	35. PTSD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin's PTSD becomes serious and she and Kate struggle to find balance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I started this chapter really thinking it would be the epilogue to Tobin and Kate's story. But the seriousness of PTSD led this to become it's own chapter. Tobin really couldn't skate through all of the trauma she suffered without having some serious repercussions. So, faithful readers, you get one more chapter before the story ends. 
> 
>  
> 
> Agnst Airways Flight 35 is now departing.

“I hate this,” Tobin grumbles into Kate’s chest. They’re lying on her couch, Tobin sprawled on top of Kate. 

“I know, asthore,” Kate soothes as she plays with Tobin’s hair. She can feel Tobin growing heavier as sleep overtakes her. Kate stares at the wood panel they built together thinking back over the last few months. Tobin had a few nightmares as she got back into training with the team. Jen was working with her twice a week to get through the PTSD she was suffering from. Her physical health was wonderful, the training staff and physicians were greatly relieved and impressed how quickly Tobin was able to get back into form. As the time approached for her to see some actual minutes in a game, that’s when the nightmares increased to almost every night. 

She flat out refused to take any form sleep medication, fearing the loss of control of herself, which was another part of her PTSD. Jen understood and offered some other helpful ideas such as yoga before bed, weed, sex, acupuncture, and massage. Kate introduced an herbal tea to try that didn’t work, Tobin stayed up half the night wired to her gills kicking a soccer ball around her house, nearly driving Kate insane. 

Kate was becoming increasingly worried, Tobin seemed so tired and trying so hard to be happy and normal. Kate could tell something was brewing in Tobin’s head and tried her best to be understanding and helpful while not being pushy. 

Tobin’s reaction to stress was improving, her body’s response to shut down and sleep was still there, but it took longer to set in. Tonight was Tobin’s first appearance at Providence Park and the reception was amazing. When she subbed in at the seventieth minute, the place went wild chanting her name until the game was over and the Thorns clinched a victory. 

Tobin shook hands with the referees and opposing players, spoke with her teammates, and walked off the field waving to the crowd. She had cleared it with the team that she wouldn’t stick around to sign autographs. Kate met her in the tunnel where Tobin burst into tears and Kate practically dragged her to the locker room to shower and get dressed. Tobin was lethargic as they left the park and went straight to her apartment. She whined while she stretched out on the floor, knowing she would be tight tomorrow if she didn’t. 

Kate relented and laid on the couch inviting Tobin to come and snuggle. 

Glad she had the foresight to bring out a couple of pillows and blankets, Kate knew they would be here until sometime in the middle of the night. She scrunched down into her pillow as she absentmindedly continued to play with Tobin’s hair. Her lids grow heavy as she drifts into a restless slumber. 

 

Kate was pulled out a heavy sleep by a sharp blow to her chest. She opened her eyes to the dimly lit living room as Tobin struggled against her. 

“No!” she cried as her arm flailed out, striking Kate again. “Tobin!” Kate yells sharply, “Stop!” 

Kate struggles as Tobin is now pressing her hand against her neck, threatening to cut off her airway. “Tobin!” she croaks as she wraps her fingers around Tobin’s forearm. Tobin’s eyes are wide, tears streaming down her face as she struggles to hold onto Kate’s other arm. Kate knows Tobin’s dreaming but this is getting scary. 

Samson appears next to Kate growling at Tobin as she swings again at Kate. 

“Samson, stand down!” Kate orders as she struggles against Tobin. 

She heaves her hips up and launches them both off the couch falling on top of Tobin, together landing with a thud. Quickly Kate shifts Tobin onto to her stomach and brings Tobin’s right arm behind her back into a safe arm bar. Tobin’s still squirming and crying, trying to ball up into the fetal position. 

Kate brings a hand to her forehead, rubbing where they knocked heads in the fall. 

“Please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me, please don’t hurt me,” Tobin is chanting as begins rocking against Kate. Kate bursts into tears and looks around wondering what to do. 

“Tobin,” she says loudly, “it’s Kate, you’re safe, Allison is dead and she can’t hurt you. Tony is in jail and he can’t hurt you. You’re safe,” she cries, “you’re safe mavourneen,” she says much softer. 

“I don’t want to see him,” Tobin says hysterically, “I can’t face him,” she cries. She begins to sob and Kate releases her arm and shifts her weight off Tobin. Tobin brings her hand to head gripping it tightly as she cries, now curled into a ball on the floor. Kate lies next to her, draping a hand softly on her shoulder. 

“You don’t have to,” she says softly, realizing that Tobin is terrified to face Tony in court. “Your lawyers can make it so that you won’t have to see him.” Kate sates firmly. “It will be okay, asthore, you’ll be okay.” 

Oh my God, Kate thinks, why didn’t I think of this? Tobin casually mentioned the court date and then went on as if it didn’t matter. That should have clued Kate in that something was up. Thinking back, she wonders if that was when the nightmares started. She shakes her head at her stupidly. 

She looks down at Tobin and wonders how to calm her. She softly touches Tobin’s hand that’s holding her head. Tobin flinches back, eyes wide and then stills. She’s breathing heavy and her eyes are moving all around, trying to figure out what is going on. 

“What’s” Tobin pants, “going on?” she’s looking around trying to gather her senses. 

“You had a nightmare,” Kate explains, holding onto Samson’s collar. 

“Why,” she breathes, “are we on the floor?” she looks so confused. 

“We fell off the couch,” Kate answers. Not a lie, she reasons, not entirely the truth but she doesn’t want to increase Tobin’s anxiety right now. 

“Oh,” Tobin comments, her eyebrows knitted, trying to comprehend what has occurred. She slowly gets an arm under herself and pushes up off the floor to sit. Kate mimics her movements and they sit facing each other. 

Samson lets out a small growl at Tobin. Tobin’s head shoots up in shock. 

“He got scared,” Kate explains. “He’s fine now.” She says, stroking his fur. 

Tobin won’t look at Kate, she sits, head down, studying her hands in her lap. 

“Come on,” Kate suggests, and takes Tobin’s hands in her as she gets up. She has a gut feeling that Tobin’s going to be vomiting very shortly. As they walk into the kitchen, Kate drops one of Tobin’s hands to flick on the light. They both squint as their eyes adjust. 

“Want some water?” Kate asks as Tobin leans against the island. 

“Yeah,” she replies, “thanks,” taking the glass from Kate’s hand. It’s then that Kate notices Tobin’s face. She stretches her hand out to hold Tobin’s jaw bringing her head around. “You’re bleeding a little, asthore,” she says quietly as she reaches for a napkin. She slowly brings it to Tobin’s nose where a thin stream of blood has trickled out. 

“Does it hurt?” Kate asks as Tobin shakes her head as she looks at Kate intently. 

“Why is your neck red?” she asks her quietly, reaching out to run her fingers over the marks on Kate’s neck. 

“You grabbed me a little during your nightmare,” Kate answers, “it’ fine, it doesn’t hurt.” 

Tobin abruptly backs into the fridge, the contents on the inside door rattle with the force of the impact. “I, I tried to hurt you?” she asks, her eyes wide, her mouth left open.

“You were dreaming, it was a nightmare,” Kate explains, “it’s okay, you didn’t hurt me,” Kate soothes. Tobin looks down at her hands and then back at Kate, tears streaming from her eyes. She brings a hand up to her chest, laying it flat over her heart. “I tried to hurt you,” she repeats softly, body beginning to shake. 

I’m out of control, she thinks, I’m so fucked up. I can’t live like this. Kate deserves more. She’s been so worried about me, I can see it in her face. 

“Tobin,” Kate says, her tone comforting, “this is a part of your PTSD. It’s not you attacking me, it’s your body responding to terror from your nightmares.” 

“No,” Tobin states, shaking her head. “You don’t try to choke someone you love,” she says, her voice trembling. “this isn’t right. I’m a monster.” Her breathes come faster and faster as she realizes how close she came to really hurting Kate. “I did this and didn’t even know it.” 

Kate reaches her hand out to place on Tobin’s shoulder but Tobin bolts to the sink, vomiting into it. She’s crying and retching, violently getting ill. Kate pulls the hair from her wrist and pulls Tobin’s hair into a ponytail and rubs her back. She turns on the faucet and the garbage disposal to swish away the remnants from Tobin’s stomach. 

“Stay here, asthore,” Kate instructs, “I’ll be right back.” She heads to the bedroom and retrieves a toothbrush, toothpaste and the mouthwash. She glances at the clock on the microwave as she returns. It’s four forty-five in the morning. She has to be up and out today, she has to be in court. 

Tobin brushes her teeth and rinses her mouth out without looking at Kate. I’m so ashamed, she thinks. This is awful, I tried to hurt Kate. She wipes her mouth with her hand and glances up at Kate. 

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers, her shoulders slumped, still feeling sick about what happened. 

“I know, it’s okay,” Kate says putting her hand lightly on Tobin’s back. “Let’s go back to bed, okay?” she coaxes. 

They walk slowly down the hall into the bedroom, Tobin sliding under the covers quickly. Kate returns to the kitchen, shutting off the lights and grabbing the pillows. She slides into bed noticing Tobin has placed herself the furthest away from her, curled up on a sliver of the mattress. She wonders if she should give her space or pull her into a hug and doesn’t know the answer. 

Kate shimmies over to the center of the bed and reaches a hand out to touch Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin flinches and scoots away even more. “Please don’t,” Tobin pleads, “please, not now.” Her voice begging and urgent. 

“Okay,” Kate agrees, “I won’t,” she says withdrawing her hand and pulling herself over to her side of the bed. Kate lays flat on her back listening to Tobin quietly weep next to her. I feel so helpless, she thinks. I’ve got to talk to Jen, there’s got to be something we can do. She can feel Samson get into bed and lay between the two, still upset about what occurred. She pets him as she lays there, fearful that Tobin will want her to leave her so she won’t get hurt. 

She struggles to fight back her own tears, feeling if Tobin heard her crying it would send her further spiraling. Kate concentrates on her breathing, slow and steady, in and out and focuses on relaxing even though her body fights it. Eventually she falls into an uneasy slumber. 

Kate awakes before her alarm, reaching for her phone and shutting it off before it can sound. She silently gets out of bed, noticing Tobin’s position changed into a small ball in the upper corner of the bed. Kate readies herself for work, showering quickly, dressing and bypassing eating breakfast. She has this pit in her stomach that leaves her feeling sick, not physically ill but heart sick. 

She quietly takes Samson out for his morning walk and brings him in just as silently, feeding him breakfast without her usual dog conversation with him. He senses it as well as she enters the bedroom to wake Tobin up. She bites her lip as she looks down at her, body curled up looking uncomfortable, hands balled into fists. So opposite of her normal splayed out on her stomach, hands dangling on Kate or over the edge of the bed. 

“Tobin,” she says softly, not wanting to startle her. She thought for a minute of calling Robin and telling her Tobin wouldn’t be coming in herself, but decided against it. Tobin’s state of mind right now might make her think Kate was handling her and she was not capable of making her own decisions. 

“Tobin,” she repeats a bit louder, smiling when she hears a muffled groan in response. 

“Mavourneen, it’s time to get up,” she says making sure her voice sounds normal. 

Tobin shifts her head and blinks up at her. 

“Good morning,” Kate gives her a small smile. 

“Hey,” Tobin responds tentatively. 

“It’s seven-thirty and I’ve got to head out. Today’s a court day.” Kate informs her. “I wanted to make sure you were awake before I go.” She shifts her stance. 

Tobin nods as she rubs her face with the palms of her hands. “Okay, thanks,” she replies, her voice rough and low. She scoots back in bed to sit up against the headboard and looks at Kate with a sorrowful expression. “I’m so sorry,” she says miserably. 

Kate kneels next to the bed, laying a hand next to Tobin’s leg. “It’s alright, I’m okay, you didn’t hurt me.” Kate states softly. “You were having a nightmare, it wasn’t you.” 

Tobin nods as she slowly moves her hand to touch the top of Kate’s. Kate lays her other hand on top and squeezes. She looks at Tobin and leans in to give her a kiss on the cheek. 

“I’m not sure of your plans today so would you please text me later?” she asks. 

“I will.” Tobin nods. “I don’t think I’m going in today. I’m going to call Robin.” 

“Okay,” Kate says. “I’ll be back as soon as I can alright?” 

“Yeah,” Tobin gives her a small smile. “I think I’m gonna read up on nightmares. I’ve gotta do something.” 

“Okay,” Kate nods. “I’ve gotta go.” She says as she slowly stands up. Tobin grasping her hand with two fingers. 

“Have a good day, okay?” Tobin says as she leans forward slightly. Kate bends down and places a soft kiss on her lips. 

“You too, I love you.” Kate responds. 

“I love you too,” Tobin says, her eyes hopeful. 

Kate exits the apartment, her sense of dread is lessened but still there. She contemplates calling Allie or Kling and asking one of them to look after Tobin but again, there’s that sense of not wanting to overstep boundaries. She turns it over in her mind as she drives to the courthouse in Interlachen where she’ll sit in court for most of the day. 

 

At noon Kate checks her phone messages from Tobin, Jen, Allie and Sinc. She opens Tobin’s first. 

7:45 Tobin: I called in and heading back to bed. Wiped out. I love you. I’m sorry. 

11:30 Tobin: Going for a walk to clear my head. Leaving my phone at home. Love you. 

8:30 Allie Long: Is Tobin okay? Robin seemed worried. I want to help. 

8:45 Christine Sinclair: Concerned about Tobin. I’d be willing to stop by to check in after practice. Let me know. 

11:22 Jen: Tobin cancelled her appt. Concerned. Carol said she sounded horrible. You guys okay? 

After reading Jen’s text, Kate decides to answer back Allie and Sinc. 

Kate: If you guys could check on her after practice I’d appreciate it. She just texted saying she was leaving her phone at home and going for a walk. I’m concerned and stuck in court.

She responds to Jen. 

Kate: She attacked me last night during a nightmare. She’s freaked out and I’m stuck in court. 

The bailiff enters the room and calls them back to court. With regret, Kate powers off her phone and heads back in. She sits nervously in her seat, a bad feeling overcoming her. She wills the hours to pass quickly. 

Tobin made her call to Robin, just telling her she didn’t feel well and barely got any sleep last and was vomiting. Technically, she wasn’t lying but she felt guilty for lying by omission. She called Jen’s office and cancelled her appointment. She knew she should talk to her, but she can’t bring herself to do so. I’m so ashamed. I attacked Kate, the woman I love. 

Going to sleep was the last thing she wanted to do. Instead, she took Samson for a walk, he forgiven her after last night. When they got back, she cleaned the apartment, scrubbing the toilets, vacuuming, dusting, wiping down counters. She organized she pantry, making sure every label was facing out and everything was neat and tidy.  
In her second bedroom she laid all of her papers out on the bed, organized them, scanned them, filed them away and then cleaned her desk. She stripped the bed and did laundry, changing loads as she dusted the living room and cleaned the wood floors. She organized her closet, sorting her shirts by colors, she did the same to her hats and shoes as well.  
Tired she sat on the couch to take a break and noticed it was only 11:15. She lets out a huff and looks down at her hands. These hands, they tried to hurt Kate. I can never forgive myself, she thinks. I’ve got to get out of here. She quickly goes to her room and changes into a different t-shirt and shorts. She throws on some gymshoes and decides to text Kate to just check in so she won’t worry. 

Not wanting to be bothered by texts from anyone, she leaves her phone on the island, grabs her keys, hooks them on a lanyard she paced around her neck and heads out with no destination in mind. 

She’s been walking for a while and has no conception of time as she didn’t put on a watch. Her stomach is grumbling but she doesn’t want to eat, she still has that pit in her stomach from how horrified she feels of her actions last night. The light rain she was walking in has turned into a steady one and she berates herself for not even checking the weather before she left. She’s soaked and starting to get cold. She decides to head back and that’s when she realizes, she’s lost. She has no clue where she is. So deep in her thoughts, she completely disregarded the streets she’s been walking for the last few hours. She stops and puts her hands on hips and lets out a huff. You stupid, fucking idiot, she thinks. 

She decides to walk to the corner and at least see what street she’s on and try to figure it out from there. At the corner, the names on the signs do not help her at all and she wonders what she should do. She looks to her left and sees an enormous church with three beautiful spires rising above the buildings next to it. She heads that way and feels drawn to it. She crosses the street and climbs the steps slowly, wondering if the doors are open. She grabs the handle and pulls slightly and the heavy door begins to swing open. 

Letting her eyes adjust to the dimness of the interior, she marvels at the beautiful stained glass windows to her left and right. She slowly walks down the center aisle realizing the windows depict the story of Jesus. She takes a seat and looks forward at the altar, gazing at the crucifix at the center. She slides to her knees and bows her head, begging for God to give her some insight. She begins to weep quietly. 

 

Kate basically runs from the courthouse, turning her phone on with one hand as she trots through the parking lot to her squad car. She slides in the driver’s seat and looks at her phone. Messages from Jen and Allie. 

12:45 Jen: Keep an eye on her and call me. 

3:38 Allie: She’s not home. I’m here with Kling, Sinc and Emily, we’re going to look for her. She took her keys but her car’s here. Her wallet and phone are here. She’s walking somewhere. 

She radios in to dispatch that she’s done in court and asks if she can take the cruiser home for the night. She gets approval and keys the ignition. 

Kate responds to Allie: 

Kate: Out of court and on my way. Call me please. 

Kate tears out of the parking lot. Praying Tobin is okay. 

Her phone chirps. 

“Kate!” It’s Allie. “We’ve been looking all over. I’ve got most of the team out, I only told them Tobin is upset and we don’t know why and she’s roaming the city. We’re all keeping it low key, not asking anyone if they’ve seen her so it doesn’t go public.” She says breathlessly. 

“Oh my God,” Kate says, terrified of what could come next. “You don’t think she’d hurt herself?” 

“NO!” Allie exclaims. “I know she’s having nightmares and stuff but it wouldn’t drive her to think like that.” 

“Allie, she attacked me last night during a nightmare. She’s really freaked out about it.” Kate explains. She hears a sharp intake of breath. 

“Oh no,” she says, “are you okay?” 

“Physically, yes.” Kate answers. “But I’m sick with worry. I never should have left her, I had court today and” Allie cuts her off. 

“Kate!” she says sharply, “you didn’t know she’d do this. It’s not on you. Let’s concentrate on finding her, okay?” 

“Yeah,” Kate breathes, nodding her head. “Do you have a search grid set up or?” 

“Yes, I’m sending you the map now, highlighted areas have been searched. Also, I’m adding you to the group chat so you can give your location.” 

“Okay, I’m coming in from the east so I’ll start that way if you want.” Kate offers. 

“Hhmm,” Allie contemplates. “Why don’t you look at the map and go with your gut? You know her so well, you might have some luck.” She suggests. 

“Okay, that’s what I’ll do.” Kate agrees. She ends the call and pulls over to study the map. 

Hours go by and Kate is still looking, the group chat is going strong, the search area has expanded. Kate leans against her car, rubbing her eyes with her palms. She’s called Jen and broke down crying while telling her about what happened. Jen listens and instructs her to give Tobin an Ambien when she finds her and see her first thing in the morning. She wants to try something she hasn’t done very often but hopes it will help. 

Kate gets in the squad and heads down the road, looking for anywhere she might think Tobin could be. She passes a Catholic church and a calmness settles across her chest and her worries leaves her. She makes a U-turn and parks in front of it. 

She walks up the steps and quietly enters the narthex. As she moves to the nave, she hears the quiet shuffling of feet to her right. She sees a priest quietly extinguishing candles from the offering area. He sees her and smiles. Kate steps over towards him, glancing into the nave and that’s when she sees a lone figure in a pew, head down in prayer. 

She lets out a sigh, recognizing Tobin’s figure and her shoulders drop. 

“She’s been here for hours.” The priest states quietly. “I wanted to approach her so many times, but she seems like she’s deep in a battle with God right now.” He looks over at her hunched figure. 

Tears are streaming down Kate’s face. She whips her phone out and texts the group that she’s found her and will fill them in later. She looks up at the priest. 

“I don’t know what to do, Father,” she confesses. “I don’t know what to say to her. She attacked me during a PTSD episode and she’s freaked out about it. How do I comfort her?” 

The priest offers her a small smile. “I’m Father Tim, and you may not know me young lady, but I do know you. Why don’t you sit down at my piano over there and play the first song that pops in your head.” 

Kate wipes her eyes, “Thank you Father.” 

She slowly walks down the side aisle, her street shoes echoing in the nave. She doesn’t turn her head to see if Tobin’s watching her but she can feel her eyes on her so she just heads for the grand piano near the side of the alter. She sits down, says a Hail Mary to herself takes a deep breath and begins to play. 

As Kate plays and sings, she keeps her eyes shut so she doesn’t see Tobin. She knows if she does, she’ll be doomed to cry. The rich tone of the piano brings her comfort and strength as she sings the song she loves so much. 

As she plays the last notes of Ava Maria, Kate bows her head and takes a deep breath. Please Lord, she prays, please let me say the right things to her. 

She looks up and focuses her vision on Tobin and see she’s looking at her. Her face pale, tired and broken. Even from forty feet away Kate can see Tobin is struggling not cry. Kate pushes herself up from the piano bench and walks over to her, never breaking eye contact. 

When she reaches the pew Tobin sits in, Kate tentatively sits down a space away from her. If I say I’m worried, she’ll feel guilty, she thinks. I need to open with something else. 

“Isn’t this a beautiful church?” she asks her quietly as she leans back in the pew. Tobin nods. 

“It is,” she says simply. 

“Did you know that originally stained glass windows were used as a poor man’s Bible? They depicted the story of Jesus for the illiterate.” Kate says. 

Tobin turns her head to look at her. “It was so the message of God’s love could enter the heart though the eyes.” Kate says quietly. 

Tobin’s bottom is trembling and fresh tears are threatening to spill. “Kate, I’m so lost,” she cries, “I need help, I don't know what to do,” she moves closer and leans into Kate and Kate wraps her arms around her kissing her head. 

“Kate, please help me,” Tobin begs. 

“I will, mavourneen, I promise,” Kate soothes, “I promise.” She says as she gently rocks her in the pew. 

They sit for a few minutes, Kate holding Tobin tightly against as Tobin’s sobbing subsides. Tobin pulls back to look at her. “What should we do?” she asks Kate. 

“Well, first we get you in some warm clothes, you’re freezing.” Kate replies as rubs Tobin’s icy arms. “Then we’re going to get my car, get something to eat and go home. We’ll figure out the rest after that.” 

“Okay,” Tobin nods her head. 

“Are you ready to go?” Kate asks. Tobin nods as Kate stands up. They walk down the center aisle, Kate holding onto Tobin’s hand. Kate mouths a thank you to Father Tim as they pass and he offers her a small smile and a nod. 

They get outside and Kate leads Tobin to her squad car. She pops the trunk and rummages around in a gymbag and presents Tobin a hoodie and a pair of sweats. Tobin puts them on over her t-shirt and shorts. 

“I’ve never been in a squad car,” Tobin comments as she gets in the passenger seat. 

“Glad to hear it,” Kate gives her a grin and interlocks their fingers. Kate drives back to her station, explaining to Tobin she wants to return the car and get her own. Before leaving Interlachen to head back to Tobin’s place, Kate stops and runs into a small restaurant to get dinner for them. She hands Tobin a bag to hold as the head home. 

They eat a simple meal of chicken noodle soup with delicious homemade rolls. Kate figured comfort food would be the best and not something super heavy on their stomachs. 

Tobin takes a shower to warm up and Kate texts the group chat that they’re home and safe and will talk later. She texts Jen about tomorrow morning and lines it up. 

When Tobin comes down the hallway, Kate intercepts her at the kitchen. 

“Will you take this, please?” Kate asks holding out a small pill. 

“What is it?” Tobin asks. 

“Ambien, to help you sleep.” Kate responds. 

Tobin hesitates and then takes the pill from Kate, popping it in her mouth and swallowing it with gulp of water from the cup Kate offered. A lone tear spills from one eye. 

“It’s alright, asthore,” Kate soothes, “it will be fine. I'll be right here with you.” She gets up and leads her down the hallway back to the bedroom. She turns down the covers for Tobin to get into bed. “I’ll be right back, okay?” she says and heads to the bathroom, rushing her nightly routine. 

Kate slides into bed and pulls Tobin close. Tobin clutches at her, holding her tightly. “I’m so scared,” she confesses as she cries. 

“It’s okay to be scared,” Kate says, “we’ll get through this together. Me and you.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Tobin whispers. 

“Let’s think about something else, hhmm?” Kate offers. 

“Like what?” Tobin asks, her voice muffled against Kate’s chest. 

“Like what should we do for the holidays? Thanksgiving and Christmas?” Kate suggests. 

“Does your family all get together for Christmas?” Kate asks. 

Tobin shifts her position so she can see Kate, looking up to her with her head on her chest still. “Yeah, either in Jersey or New York, I don’t know who’s hosting this year yet.” 

“Well, we can always do Christmas with Jake and Cath any time, they’re easy about it. If we did Christmas with them early, then they could go see Cath’s family and we could go to yours. Would that be good?” 

“You want to spend Christmas with me?” Tobin asks, her edged in wonder. 

Kate kisses her forehead. “I want to spend every day with you my love, of course I want to spend Christmas with you.” 

“I’d really like that,” Tobin admits. “What do you do for Thanksgiving?” 

“I usually host a shindig in the pavilion, it’s open to friends who aren’t going home. What about you?” 

“Pinoe hosted one last year- our friends who aren’t going home either and I got suckered into offering this year.” Tobin explains with a yawn. “I kinda like not being home for Thanksgiving, I don’t know, it makes Christmas more special.” 

“Want to co-host it at my place with mine?” Kate asks. “It’s been really cool seeing how our friends mix so well.” 

“Yeah?” Tobin asks, head off Kate’s chest so she can see her face. “That would be rad.” She yawns. “It will be so much fun.” She says putting her head back down and snuggling into Kate’s chest a little more. Kate is gently stroking her back, just trailing her fingertips on it. 

They lay silently for a few minutes and Kate is slowly drifting off when Tobin speaks quietly. “I can’t wait to tell my Mom you’re coming with me for Christmas, Kate. She really likes you.” 

Kate kisses Tobin’s forehead, “Your Mom is so sweet,” she says, “I think my Mom would have loved to meet her. I know she would have loved you, my Dad too.” 

“I really wish I could have met them,” Tobin says.

“Maybe after Christmas we can stop in Chicago for a few days and stay with my Aunt?” Kate suggests. 

Tobin yawns, “I’d love to,” Tobin says, her voice laced with sleep. Kate moves her hand from Tobin’s back and gently runs her fingers through Tobin’s hair as they fall asleep. 

 

Tobin is passed out on the couch, mentally exhausted from the four hour marathon session with Jen. 

 

Jen and Tobin spent the first hour reviewing her triggers, discussing her attacks with the Tony and revisiting her kidnapping and attacks from Allison. 

The next hour they discussed coping strategies for these triggers, mostly rehashing what Tobin was successfully doing already. Jen encouraged Tobin to speak more often to herself, Kate or her friends if something was bothering her and to not hold it in. When it came to the dreams and her PTSD symptoms, the conversation got more intense. Tobin discussed her fear of open food containers, like her protein powder being laced with something, her fear of sleeping because of the nightmares, her terror of hurting Kate or anyone else and the helplessness she was feeling. 

The third hour, Jen hypnotized Tobin, putting her into a calm and receptive state, making sure she felt safe and loved. She had Kate come sit next to her, holding her hand and rubbing her back, quietly encouraging her. Jen had Tobin recount her experiences that scared her the most and worked with her to speak of them without associating the terror she felt. Jen created a positive image of sleep, implanting the peaceful scenes for her to think about before falling asleep each night. She implanted positive coping strategies again, positive responses and diffusing the power these awful events held over her before bringing her out of it. 

Tobin spent the first fifteen minutes of the final hour vomiting in the bathroom and the rest passed out on the couch. Kate and Jen had a frank discussion of Tobin’s treatment with Kate offering her concerns and fears while Tobin slept. Jen revealed she had gotten a call from a tearful Alex Morgan who was worried about Tobin and asking what she could do to help.  
Kate and Jen finished their discussion with the idea of broaching the subject to Tobin creating a safety team, including Kate, Allie, Sinc, Lindsey, Kling, Emily and Alex to come in and work with Jen on learning some tools to help Tobin. If Tobin was open it to the idea, she thought she might suggest how she felt if Perry was included. 

Both Kate and Tobin were exhausted afterwards going straight back to Tobin’s place, eating PB & J sandwiches and going back to bed. After a while, they had gotten up, Tobin crashing on the couch and Kate at her laptop. She was writing a follow up email to Robin, copying Dawn Scott, Alex and Perry informing them of the events of the last few days. Tobin had quietly asked her to let them know, allowing Kate to be her voice. Kate had briefly spoken to Robin in the morning, telling her quickly about the PTSD episode and that they were meeting with Jen. 

Kate moved to the patio so she could keep an eye on Tobin while she talked to Alex for over an hour. Alex called her within minutes of reading the email, wanting to know how she could help. They discussed the treatment plan and trigger therapies and then oved on to more personal topics. They bonded over their love of Tobin and set a date for Alex’s surprise visit. 

 

The next few days were amazing, even Tobin was shocked by good she felt. She got back into her routine, was sleeping well without nightmares and played another thirty minutes of a game and everything was going. That good feeling spread over the next few weeks as the Thorns were heading into playoffs. 

Tobin was able to provide her testimony against Tony in court via video and never had to face him. She was able to get through it without many tears or becoming overly emotional. With the vast amount of evidence against him and no psychologist finding him insane, he was quickly found guilty on multiple counts of stalking and attempted murder. He would be in prison for a long time. 

 

Tobin and Kate were looking forward to the next chapter of their lives together.


	36. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glimpses of the next few months in Tobin and Kate's lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all for sticking it out with me. The kudos and comments have been fantastic and I so appreciate the feedback. I hope you enjoyed this.

“You did it!” Kate exclaims as she hugs Tobin, lifting her from the ground and spinning her around. 

They’re in the tunnel of Orlando City Stadium after the final. The Thorns had just beaten the North Carolina Courage to claim their second championship. It was a hard fought match with the Thorns down 2-0 at the half. Throughout the playoffs, the media had decided that Tobin’s return was a spark plug for the Thorns but were tempering it with being a possible negative for team chemistry. She had been out for so long, how would her teammates play with her in the lineup. 

Tobin responded by providing perfectly placed corner kicks, creative passes and breaking through defenses throughout the playoffs and final game. When she came on in the second half, the tempo of the game changed, the Thorns looked sharp, taking opportunities away from the Courage at every turn. Tobin ended the game with two assists and a goal of her own which ended up being the game winner. 

Kate sets her down and kisses her fiercely. Tobin is drenched in beer having just stepped out from the locker room after the game. She had texted Kate asking her to meet her there. 

“You know where the after party is, right?” Tobin confirms. Kate nods. “I’ll see you there,” Kate says as she kisses Tobin once more. “Go and enjoy!” 

 

“Forty million dollars?” Tobin is dumbfounded. She’s looking down at the check Merritt and Gavin presented her. She looks up at them, “I, I, this is,” she’s shaking her head. 

Gavin smiles at her. “Don’t spend it all on surfboards, okay?” 

“Or Arsenal swag.” Merritt smiles. 

 

 

Thanksgiving was a wonderful event with many laughs and a few surprises. Kate had managed to sneakily arrange for Tobin’s entire family to come out and celebrate with them. Tobin had been shocked to see her nephew come running up to her in the pavilion so excited to see his Auntie Tobin. Tobin couldn’t stop smiling all day. Jake and Cath introduced Tobin to their Aunt Jane from Chicago who instantly charmed Tobin with her quick wit and larger than life personality. 

The day lasted into the wee hours of the morning with an impromptu Jam Night that ended the night with a sing-a-long. A happy exhaustion settled over Tobin as she looked over the crowd of friends laughing and singing their hearts out. She looks at Kate, standing on the stage, jamming out on her guitar with a broad smile on her face. They make eye contact and Tobin mouths ‘I love you.’ And Kate gives her a wink and a nod. 

 

 

Tobin hands her overcoat over to the coat check girl with a smile as she receives her ticket. “Thank you,” she says warmly as she turns to face Perry, Jake and Cath as they enter the interior of the church. She’s back at St. Thomas, the church Kate found her in a few months ago. 

She didn’t know that Kate had been in touch with Father Tim. Their conversations and Kate’s gratitude toward the priest resulted in Kate performing for two sold out fundraising concerts for the church the first week of December. 

As Father Tim warmly greets them and ushers them to their reserved seats, Kate sees many familiar faces. Many Thorns players delayed their departures for home to attend, Mark was there with his family, Robin with hers. Kayla, Liz and Jen wave to her in greeting as she sits and waves back. 

Father Tim steps to the altar and greets the crowd, explaining how it was Divine Intervention that Kate and he met a few months ago. He shared how he was able to witness to God’s power, grace and love and it shook him to the core and reenergized his faith. He shared how he and Kate grew in friendship and tonight was the result of Kate’s offering to help the church raise funds for the restoration. 

“You’re in for a real treat tonight, ladies and gentlemen,” Father Tim finishes, “I’d like to introduce you to Miss Kate Doyle!” 

Applause fills the nave and Tobin eyes Kate as she comes out in a sharp black velvet dress with long sleeves and modest cut. 

As she sits at the bench, she adjusts the microphone to suit her and begins. 

“When I first walked into this church, I was fairly hopeless in a situation. Someone I love dearly was suffering and I was clueless how to help them. Father Tim simply offered to let me play whatever song was in my heart and go from there. Everything worked out but the impact of his words stuck with me.” Kate looks over the crowd, easily pulling them in with her story. 

“Thank you all for joining me tonight. The songs I’ll be playing have special meaning to me and I hope you enjoy hearing them. This first one is the one that came to my mind those weeks ago.” 

Cath reaches over and squeezes Tobin’s arm and offers her a quick smile. Tobin smiles broadly at her and sits back to enjoy the music. The songs pull emotions from Tobin but they are happy thoughts, she no longer reacts as severely to the memories as she once did. Kate catches her eye as she plays the opening of Ava Maria and gives her a wink. 

The concert ends with a five song medley of Christmas songs that sends the crowd out with high spirits and thunderous applause. Tobin hangs waiting for Kate as the crowd thins out and finds herself standing next to Father Tim. 

“She is something else,” he comments, gesturing to Kate as she finishes speaking with a group of people. 

“She really is,” Tobin says proudly. 

“I’m so happy you found peace, Tobin.” He says simply. 

“So am I,” Tobin replies. “I couldn’t have done it without her.” 

“She really loves you.” He smiles. 

“I’m so lucky.” Tobin blushes. “I don’t think I’d be here today without her.” She admits. She’s watching Kate walk up the long aisle towards them. 

“Well, if wedding bells should ever ring, I would be honored to host the event here.” He says sincerely. 

Tobin is left with an open mouth as Kate approaches. Father Tim smiles at Tobin and wiggles his eyebrows as he hugs Kate. 

“That was wonderful Kate!” he exclaims. “I can’t thank you enough.” 

“Oh, Father, it was my pleasure.” Kate states, “The acoustics in here make it so lovely to play and sing.” 

“Well, you’ll be happy to know, we’ve exceeded our goals for the restoration project.” 

“I’m so glad.” Kate smiles. 

“Yeah,” he says with a smirk, “an anonymous donor practically matched the funds from the event to nearly double our expected revenue.” 

“Huh, is that so?” Kate questions innocently as she hugs Tobin. 

“You were terrific.” Tobin says quietly in her ear. 

“Goodnight, Father,” Kate smiles, “we’ll talk about the youth group next week, right?” 

“Yes dear,” Father Tim says with a smile. 

“Goodnight Father,” Tobin says. 

“Goodnight dear,” he says and gives her a wink. 

 

 

“Tobin!” Kate exclaims. “This is amazing!” she says, tears forming in her eyes. She’s just opened Tobin’s Christmas gift to her. “How did you- when did you?” she looks at Tobin who’s smiling broadly. 

“He was such a good subject for a portrait,” Tobin says cheekily. She had painted a portrait of Samson. It had taken her almost a month of sneaking time to do it, hiding it while it was in progress in her spare room. 

“I love it!” Kate exclaims, launching herself into Tobin’s arms. They were exchanging their gifts to each other before heading out of town. She had gotten Tobin her first soccer jersey, her UNC signed jersey and her first Olympic jersey framed for presentation. She had Cindy ship them to her a while ago. Tobin loved it. 

The holidays are everything and more than either of them expected they could be. Tobin’s family embraced Kate from the moment she walked in the door. By the second day, Tobin’s nephew was reaching for Kate instead of Tobin. By the end of the trip, Cindy’s hug was bone crushing. 

It’s the New Year and Tobin is at her apartment watching tape on some young players for her DA job. Samson is next to her on the couch, his fluffiness keeping her feet warm. She scribbles down notes in her notebook while pushing her glasses up further on her nose. 

She hears the lock insert into the door and looks expectantly at the hallway. Kate walks in moments later, dropping her backpack on the island. 

“Hey babe,” Tobin says rising from the couch. She walks over and greets her with a kiss. “How was your day?” 

Kate responds by leaning into her and laying her head on Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin wraps her arms around her and squeezes gently. 

“Rough,” is Kate’s muffled reply. Tobin rubs her back. Tobin feels Kate’s shoulders hitch as she begins to cry quietly. This has happened a few times before, Kate coming home after a bad day. It takes her a while to calm down and all Tobin needs to do is be patient and comforting. Kate will talk about when she’s ready. She cradles Kate’s head in her hand while her other still rubs her back. 

Kate lets out a loud sigh and hugs Tobin back. She lifts her head and gives Tobin a kiss. “I love coming home to you.” She states. 

“I love you coming home to me.” Tobin smiles. “Come on, let’s get you comfy,” she says and leads her down the hallway to the bedroom. 

After they’ve eaten dinner, they’re lying on the couch with Kate sprawled on top of Tobin. Tobin plays with her phone and cues up some soft music. She puts her phone under her pillow and snuggles down a little. She rubs her hands along Kate’s sides and settles them on her low back. She kisses the top of Kate’s head and rubs her jaw along it. 

They lay there for over an hour, not talking, just being, listening to music. Tobin can lay here all night with the woman she loves. She’s growing a little concerned as Kate really hasn’t said anything. She knows something is seriously troubling her but will wait until she’s ready to talk. 

Tobin takes a breath to say something when Kate speaks. 

“I’m not ready mavourneen, I need to process it for a while.” She says quietly. “But I’m fine, really, I am.”

“Okay babe,” Tobin replies. “I’m here whenever you want to talk, you know that.” 

Kate raises her head to look at Tobin. “I know,” she says. “And I love you for not pushing.” She kisses her gently. She raises herself up and gets off the couch. “Now, I think you need something,” she smirks as she reaches her hand out for Tobin to take. 

Tobin smiles as she leaves the couch. “Oh, what’s that?” she questions. 

Kate looks over her shoulder as she leads her to the bedroom. “A UFO.” 

 

A week later they’re playing Scrabble and Tobin is studying her letters when Kate speaks. 

“I think I’m going to quit my job.” She says quietly. Tobin looks up at her with wide eyes and an open mouth. 

“I got scared last week on the job,” Kate explains. “I came in as backup to a domestic dispute and almost got clocked in the head from a very unhappy woman.” 

Tobin audibly gulps, her eyes still wide. 

“I didn’t see her,” Kate says, “she was to my side and out of my vision. I should have seen her.” 

Tobin reaches her hand across the table to hold Kate’s. 

“I had an eye test the other day, just to be sure. My vision hasn’t changed but I feel really uneasy out on patrol. What if she had a knife? Or a gun? Or one of the other officers got hurt because I didn’t see it.” A few tears roll down her cheeks. 

“Oh, Kate,” Tobin says, her chair scraping on the wood floor as she pushes it out to come to Kate’s side. 

Kate looks up at her. “It’s okay.” she gives her a sad smile. “It’s time.” She stands up and envelops Tobin in a hug. “I’m sad but not devastated. I found my happiness in you and I know it will be fine.” 

“Did you talk to Steve?” Tobin asks. 

“Yeah, he knows.” Kate says. “He wondered why I waited so long. Called me stubborn.” She grins. 

“When are you doing this?”  
“I think tomorrow. Effective immediately.” Kate says. “I don’t want to wait. Steve is fine with it, he understands.” 

Tobin feels a little guilty because she’s so relieved. Every time Kate left for the day, a part of Tobin worried and prayed for her safety. 

“What do you think you might want to do with yourself?” Tobin asks. “Or is it too soon to know?” 

“Not sure yet,” Kate says as sly grin appears across her face, “but I think I’d like to use my handcuffs one last time.” She says as she leads Tobin to the bedroom. 

 

 

It’s the first day of spring and Kate and Tobin are fishing off the dock. They’ve been enjoying each other’s company, not saying much when Tobin turns to Kate. 

“Do you want kids?” she asks. 

Kate jerks her head back. “What?” 

“I asked if you want kids.” Tobin repeats herself. 

“Well, yeah, it’s always been there somewhere in the back of my head.” Kate replies. “What about you?” 

“I do too.” She answers simply. They grin at each other for a few moments. 

“Well, I’m a bit of a conventional women Tobin.” Kate states. “No kids before marriage.” 

Tobin reels in her line and puts the rod on the dock. She swivels her legs off the dock and sits on her knees next to Kate. 

“So am I.” she says casually. “So, what if I give you this?” she pulls a small black velvet box from her hoodie pocket. “And ask if you’ll be my wife?” she suddenly gets up on one knee. 

Kate’s mouth drops open. 

“Kate,” Tobin smiles as she opens the box and thrusts it forward, “will you marry me?” 

Kate smiles as she holds her hand out for Tobin to slide the ring on it. “Yes, I will.” She cries. In her excitement to scramble to her knees, she unintentionally flings an elbow and a hip into Tobin, sending her off the dock and into the water below. 

“Woah!” Tobin yells as she falls backwards into the water with a loud splash. She disappears under the water only to shoot up moments later, coughing and sputtering. Kate can’t help but laugh as she looks down at her. 

“See?” Tobin laughs as she treads water, “I’ll always be falling for you!” Kate giggles as she pulls out her phone and shows her smiling face and ring hand with a drenched Tobin smiling like an idiot in the background. She snaps a few photos and moves to help her up. 

That’s the photo and caption they both use when they send out their texts to friends and family.

 

It's a week later and the first preseason practice is over and the team is stretching out on the pitch. Tobin is laughing with Allie when Samson comes bounding up to her. She pets him and notices he has a note pinned to his Thorns Security vest. Kate recently joined the staff as a team security agent. Her special assignment was to mostly guard Tobin. It worked for both of them. 

Tobin tears the note off and reads it. ‘Kate wants to ask you something.’ It reads in black marker. She looks up and sees Kate strolling along the 18 yard line of the nearest goal. 

Tobin gets up and rambles over to her. “I was summoned?” she asks with a grin. 

“Yeah, you were.” Kate smirks as she stops walking. She smiles at Tobin. “Last week I said I would marry you.” She gets down on one knee. “Tobin, will you make me the happiest woman in the world and do me the honor of being your wife?” She’s holding a ring out to Tobin. 

“I don’t think I’m busy that day,” Tobin answers casually bending down to take Kate in her arms. “Of course, babe.” She grins. 

They kiss and then Kate slides the ring on Tobin’s finger. “I love you so much,” Tobin says to her as she kisses her again to the cheers of the Thorns. Tobin holds her tightly, lifting her off her feet as she spins her around. “Wooohoooo!” Tobin yells. 

 

 

“What are you guys doing at the end of the season? Like, November first?” Tobin asks Alex and Allie as they sit around an outdoor table having coffee and later seeing a movie. The Pride are in town for a game the next day. She’s already checked with Servanado and Bati so she knows they’re available. Every time either of the two have asked her about a wedding date, she dismisses them saying they haven’t figured it out yet. Tobin’s so happy that the timing worked out to ask them together. 

The both pull up their calendars to look. “I’m free,” Allie comments looking up at Tobin. 

“So am I, what’s up?” Alex asks.

Tobin leans forward. “I was wondering if you guys might want to, I don’t know, be my Maids of Honor? Well, actually Matrons of Honor?” she smiles. 

Tobin winces at the high pitch and volume of their squeals as they bounce in their chairs. 

“Yes, yes, yes!” They exclaim together. 

 

“What do you mean it’s all done?” Allie asks with a frown. 

“We did it all.” Tobin replies. “I don’t see what the big deal was. It was pretty easy.” She shrugs. 

“You did all of your wedding planning in a week?” Alex asks in amazement. 

“Well, yeah.” Tobin shrugs again. 

“There’s nothing to plan?” Allie is perplexed. 

“I think we need to figure out our vows?” Tobin says, “Oh and we still need to get our dresses. We’re doing that next weekend.” 

“You can’t go together! You shouldn’t see each other’s dresses.” Alex condemns her. “That’s bad luck.” 

“Hey guys!” Perry, Katie and Cindy say as they wander up to their table. Tobin had flown them out for the weekend.

They all rise to greet them. 

“Well, did you guys maybe want to ditch the movie and go dress shopping now?” Tobin asks, grinning at Alex and Allie. They leap into her arms. 

 

 

 

“So, Mrs. Tobin Powell Doyle Heath, you ready to do this?” Kate asks with a grin. They’re standing outside the closed pavilion at Kate’s place in the brisk air waiting to be introduced. 

“Why, I’ve been ready since they day I met you, Mrs. Katherine Ann Doyle Heath.” She leans over and kisses her. 

 

The doors swing open and they hear Mark Parsons voice “Now here are Mrs. And Mrs. Doyle Heath!” 

 

 

Tobin squeezes Kate’s hand and they walk forward into the pavilion and their future together…


End file.
